Easy Abby (2012) s01e01 Episode Script
Portable Feast
My birthday's in three months and I'm gonna be 30.
Really I'll be 31.
I lie to everybody.
Like the guy in the liquor store? I gave him a ten and he gave me change for a twenty.
I didn't say anything.
Abby? Is that you? SummerFest.
Last year! We made out in the Porta Potty line? Oh yeah! You don't know my name.
Is it Michelle? You gave me a hickey? Kelly.
- It's Kelly, isn't it? - Yep.
How's it going? Uh, sorry, I'm late for this dinner thing.
My friend moved in with her girlfriend so Okay.
Enjoy.
Hopefully I'll see you soon.
Last night I told the girl I was in bed with I've never been in love.
Maybe I haven't.
(from behind door) That's not what I was saying.
So you don't want an open relationship? I just said I can't imagine not ever sleeping with another person ever.
Like ten years from now I meant! You want to put that on the calendar now then? I take it back.
I'm so in love with you.
I just moved in with you! Yeah, I know.
- And you're already thinking about - I was being honest.
It was rhetorical! You don't have to say everything that comes into your head.
I don't.
What does that mean? (giggles) Mom! Mom! - Hey! - Hey.
I was expecting to see the little midget.
Yeah.
I just threw a cookie at her.
She loves those.
Thank you.
How are you? - I'm okay.
- Good? Great! Awesome.
Well, 3 dollars of fun in that bag.
- Wow, you had some fun already! - In the hallway.
- Nice.
Classy.
- Thanks.
What can I say.
Hey, where's Carolyn at? Um, Carolyn is in the bathroom, brushing her teeth.
Hi! - Hey.
How are you? - Good.
Sorry.
I have allergies.
I'm glad you're here, because Charlie is coming and he is bringing Laura and some cute girl from work.
Oh come on! He's trying to hook me up again? - I know, I told him not to.
- It never works! - He's an idiot.
- I know he is.
You like our new table? - Yeah, it's a table.
- (knock on door) - Hello.
- Hey! - How's it going? - Good.
Hi, Laura.
Come in, come in.
Laura you remember these guys.
This is my sister's friend, Abby.
And Abby this is my friend from work, Kelly? - Hi.
Hi everyone.
- Hi.
Kelly this is Abby.
Abby Kelly.
You look familiar.
Where do I know you from? I'm going to put this in the fridge.
Yeah you are.
- Want to help me light some candles? - Sure.
- Want to help me drink this wine? - Love to.
- Foul! - God, it's awful.
End Theme Music: "So Sick So Ill" by Daphne Willis
Really I'll be 31.
I lie to everybody.
Like the guy in the liquor store? I gave him a ten and he gave me change for a twenty.
I didn't say anything.
Abby? Is that you? SummerFest.
Last year! We made out in the Porta Potty line? Oh yeah! You don't know my name.
Is it Michelle? You gave me a hickey? Kelly.
- It's Kelly, isn't it? - Yep.
How's it going? Uh, sorry, I'm late for this dinner thing.
My friend moved in with her girlfriend so Okay.
Enjoy.
Hopefully I'll see you soon.
Last night I told the girl I was in bed with I've never been in love.
Maybe I haven't.
(from behind door) That's not what I was saying.
So you don't want an open relationship? I just said I can't imagine not ever sleeping with another person ever.
Like ten years from now I meant! You want to put that on the calendar now then? I take it back.
I'm so in love with you.
I just moved in with you! Yeah, I know.
- And you're already thinking about - I was being honest.
It was rhetorical! You don't have to say everything that comes into your head.
I don't.
What does that mean? (giggles) Mom! Mom! - Hey! - Hey.
I was expecting to see the little midget.
Yeah.
I just threw a cookie at her.
She loves those.
Thank you.
How are you? - I'm okay.
- Good? Great! Awesome.
Well, 3 dollars of fun in that bag.
- Wow, you had some fun already! - In the hallway.
- Nice.
Classy.
- Thanks.
What can I say.
Hey, where's Carolyn at? Um, Carolyn is in the bathroom, brushing her teeth.
Hi! - Hey.
How are you? - Good.
Sorry.
I have allergies.
I'm glad you're here, because Charlie is coming and he is bringing Laura and some cute girl from work.
Oh come on! He's trying to hook me up again? - I know, I told him not to.
- It never works! - He's an idiot.
- I know he is.
You like our new table? - Yeah, it's a table.
- (knock on door) - Hello.
- Hey! - How's it going? - Good.
Hi, Laura.
Come in, come in.
Laura you remember these guys.
This is my sister's friend, Abby.
And Abby this is my friend from work, Kelly? - Hi.
Hi everyone.
- Hi.
Kelly this is Abby.
Abby Kelly.
You look familiar.
Where do I know you from? I'm going to put this in the fridge.
Yeah you are.
- Want to help me light some candles? - Sure.
- Want to help me drink this wine? - Love to.
- Foul! - God, it's awful.
End Theme Music: "So Sick So Ill" by Daphne Willis