Eleita (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

1
THE (VERY) NEAR FUTURE
Good morning, Leilane.
We're live from the State Senate
for the inauguration
of the new Rio de Janeiro governor.
The opening ceremony
is scheduled for 10:00 a.m.,
so the Governor-elect,
Fernanda "Fefê" Pessoa,
must be here any minute now.
How do you lose a governor?
Actually, she gave us all the slip.
Just bring me that idiot.
Be more specific, sir.
There are so many in here.
Starting with our Honorable
Madam Governor.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
No! Can't you play for three more hours?
The party has to end sometime, Governor.
No "Governor." Call me Fefê.
My dear crazy friends,
this party shall not end!
ELECTED
So this is my fault?
She escapes through the window
and from her guards.
And who's to blame? The gay guy.
You shouldn't have left her alone
under any circumstances.
I don't get paid
to join orgies all the time, okay?
You get paid to follow
the governor anywhere she goes.
That's a 24/7 job.
I don't care if she's at an orgy or not.
-Go ahead and fire me, darling.
-I tried.
-But she won't let me.
-Of course.
I'm perfect.
What about the bodyguards?
They don't get any blame?
Sir, with all due respect
The way I see it, New Year's Eve
must be celebrated on the 31st.
But the governor wanted
to anticipate the festivities
and went to a warm-up party at Gabi's.
That was on the 26th.
She hasn't stopped since.
The staff is exhausted.
The security team is worn out.
We just can't
The penguin is out of airplane mode.
How long until she's here?
-Half an hour.
-Go!
You wish!
Go, Juan. Go get her already!
We're back
with the Estado Inteiro newscast.
The inauguration ceremony should have
started two hours ago,
LEILANE HABEYCHE
JOURNALIST AND POETESS
but the governor is still missing.
Congressman Penna,
speaker of the House
and responsible for the ceremony,
hasn't addressed the public yet.
As usual, such lack of response
is being mocked online.
NO. YOU ARE CRYING.
Yeah
It's still noon, Netinho.
It's always Friday night somewhere.
What can I do to stop you
from canceling the ceremony, Congressman?
She was elected three months ago,
but she never cared to meet me.
And now this delay
She's from Rio.
Total disregard
for the institutions, you know?
Give me just 30 minutes.
The election for House Speaker is coming.
I need to manage my online presence.
Especially after that stupid meme
they made.
Give me half an hour,
and I can get you
a reelection support statement from her.
A selfie?
A selfie.
On her feed?
Thirty minutes.
Honey, I hate to be that person,
but you should get going.
I don't want to be governor!
But you already are, since midnight.
Nope. I haven't been sworn in yet.
Wait
You think you're not governor
until you're sworn in?
Isn't that so?
Police!
Police?
-I used it up.
-Me too.
Penguin spotted.
That's not the police.
They're here for me.
Let's hear from our special correspondent,
who's going to share with us
his well-informed analysis.
This is our meme expert,
Maicon from Maricá.
What's up, Maicon?
Hello, Leilane! What's up?
Can you explain to us
how this governor
was elected?
The whole thing was just LOL,
but a lot of people got into it
and started campaigning.
Changed their profile picture and all.
They kind of had a sense of community.
Pretty much an inside joke.
Those who didn't get it were out.
L-O-L.
You don't have to be an Internet genius
to understand all that
was supposed to be a joke.
Listen up!
When I'm elected
as the governor of Rio de Janeiro,
I'm going to outlaw screwing up.
You screw up, I'll lock you up!
Elected!
Someone had to do something!
Hell, yeah!
That's a hell of a bill!
Brazil badly needs it.
Show the "I'll block you" one, please!
I've said it already,
so don't make me repeat myself.
Just stop asking about the economy.
Don't know jack about it.
If you keep doing it,
I'll block you on my page.
The economy never helped us anyway.
Hey, y'all!
Come build this campaign with us!
Who thinks
people from Rio should be forbidden
to use random English words at the office?
Show your support!
-Who agrees?
-Everybody does!
Enough with "job", it's "trabalho."
The joke never ends, right?
Right.
Then Equilibrium Party hacked the meme
and invited her to run for real.
Netinho.
I have faith this is going to be
our next governor of Rio de Janeiro.
Hey, people! Should I stay or should I go?
You decide!
ACCEPT - DON'T ACCEP
Then, it was too late.
Getting her elected became like a mission.
The joke became unstoppable.
The rest is stories.
The rest is stories.
-Honey.
-What?
Not sure if I should say it,
but it might be my last chance.
What if I resign?
Thank God you said that!
You know you're perfect and flawless.
But you can't do anything right.
How did you even win this, anyway?
It was a prank.
Comedy gone too far.
I think I saw an opportunity
to, I don't know, mature.
I wanted to have more responsibilities.
Just aim lower first.
Finish high school.
We're talking
about the lives of 19 million people.
Not to mention mine.
Govie!
Fernanda Pessoa!
I am not leaving
Sorry. You look fantastic!
-Govie!
-That's it.
I'll go there
and just sign a bunch of papers.
"Hey, I resign!"
And I will wait for you,
sipping on a dry martini.
-Perfect!
-That's it.
-Let's go!
-Let's do this.
Girl!
Just
What a dumb move!
Honey,
you can't make a bigger fool of yourself
than you would as a governor.
Govie!
This is how democracies die.
Go fuck yourself.
Good to see you too, Nanda.
Talk, Congressman.
Yeah, I've retrieved the gold.
But listen,
she wants to show up to resign.
Calm down, honey.
You don't need to yell.
He wants to talk to you.
She doesn't want to.
Bitch, I told you not to yell.
Lots of people are counting on you.
So the sooner I let them down,
the better, right?
I quit my job to take this one.
You hated telemarketing anyway.
Resign?
What about the fresh political start?
What about changing people's lives
and making a fucking difference?
Was that a lie?
She wanted you as chief of staff.
You raised her wrong.
I'm not her dad!
We gotta change her mind.
She just can't show up here.
We can change her mind some other time.
I have a suggestion.
Not sure if the "new policy" people
would like it, though.
So, PR can have opinions now?
Bomb threat.
I have experience
with impulsive politicians.
I worked
with the last sub-celebrity governor.
Giovanni, please!
As long as I'm in the room,
no crimes allowed.
Any other ideas?
-Bomb threat.
-Giovanni!
You said this already.
Last form.
Change of plans.
Go to the palace.
No!
I have to attend the ceremony!
Governor, we have reason to believe
that your safety would be at risk there.
We must take you to a safe location.
What if I don't want a safe location?
I can't follow your orders
if your will puts you in danger.
So my protection comes
before my own choices?
Affirmative.
Suppose I put myself in danger.
Will you listen to me?
-Ma'am.
-Girl, you can't be that crazy.
No one will stop me from resigning.
-Ma'am?
-Govie!
-Congresswoman Márcia.
-Netinho.
Vice-Governor!
How are the kids?
Full-grown. Cut to the chase, will you?
I would like to hear
what the official position
of the party would be
in the unlikely event of a
resignation.
-How unlikely?
-Happening today.
Today?
Very much today.
Are you really asking me
about consequences following the case
where, a governor you came up with,
much to the dissatisfaction
of most party members,
decides to resign on Inauguration Day?
Essentially
I'm sure Altair is ready
to step up, am I right?
-Yeah
-What about me?
Netinho
You've bet too big on this girl.
Consider yourself lucky if you end up
on the Human Rights Council.
You don't need to humiliate me.
I would never humiliate
a member of the Netinho clan.
I hold your grandfather in high regard.
The same goes for his father and his son.
Your father too. Your uncles and siblings.
Now, you
Help me respect you.
Folks,
some people are trying to stop me
from reaching my inauguration.
Can you believe it?
I had to run away
from my own security staff.
The Fefê Pessoa crew is in the house!
Hugs and kisses!
You know the worst part?
I don't know how to get
to the State Senate!
Does anyone know?
-Holy shit. She's crazy.
-I'm beside this huge, weird bridge.
Congresswoman.
Did you get my message?
We're trying to squeeze you in,
but the first days of government are busy.
Help me out here, just a little.
The Equilibrium and Moderate party
support Penna.
He's the government's candidate.
It'll only take 10 minutes.
I'm asking for 10 minutes of her time.
The governor will never support
a conservative candidate.
-It's against what she stands for.
-I know
Between you and me
Another straight old man in power?
It's our time!
-What about our "serology"?
-Sorority.
Sorority, right.
Shouldn't we support each other?
Not everyone.
Long way to go.
Look where I am.
Where do I go from here?
Stop it, guys.
I'm definitely not showing you my feet.
For God's sake, just help me out here.
My battery is run
No!
No
Hey, sorry to interrupt. Can I help you?
Which way to the State Senate?
-That way.
-Thank you very much!
I'll take you there. That's why I'm here.
For those who keep saying
she's joking, here she is,
doing her best to be there.
That's my governor! There will be no coup!
Wait.
Did you vote for me?
Of course. The others were assholes.
Let's roll, Fefê.
Fefê! Fefê!
Fefê! Fefê!
She won't be able to come.
We got a bomb tip-off.
Netinho, you're a bastard!
And a storytelling genius!
-I'm sorry?
-Look at this.
The girl is walking there,
defying everything and everyone.
The people by her side.
Three hours late
It's trending everywhere.
-Such disrespect
-This is history!
-And the memes?
-I just want my selfie.
You'll trade your dignity for a selfie?
Yes. It'll help my online engagement.
This girl will end democracy.
Hey, no spoilers!
Better than voting "none of the above!"
No left-wing, no right-wing!
Fuck it!
What if you talk to her nicely?
Fernanda will never take on
any responsibility.
But you dragged her here.
Some people simply
cannot embrace adulthood.
Everybody grows up at some point.
It's been a pleasure working with you.
I expected more.
You know
My father never got tired of telling me
I was a failure in life.
"You're the only Netinho
who isn't even fit for city councilor."
He thought I lacked charisma.
That I was good at talking,
but people wouldn't vote for me.
So
I got elected city councilor
so that I could prove him wrong
with the 63,976 votes for me.
You know what he said?
"Anyone can become a city councilor!"
Then, I became state representative,
just to prove him wrong.
And today
I was about to become governor.
Just to prove him wrong.
But I'd be the laughing stock
of the family.
-Do you relate?
-No, my father loves me.
COULD BE HER
BETTER THAN A NULL VOTE
Governor, a word for us. Could you share
your outlook for your term?
Don't be afraid.
You can't possibly do worse
than the last one.
Sorry to let you down.
Don't be crazy, Governor.
Fefê! Fefê!
This is Congressman Penna,
second most powerful person in Rio.
Be nice.
Wait a minute! Are you the meme guy?
I love that meme!
Do the crying face.
Excuse us, Congressman.
-It's the meme guy.
-Yeah.
-Love that meme.
-That's good.
Netinho, before anything else,
I need a phone charger.
You're mad at me.
We had a deal.
Have you heard of the Saturn return?
It's when Saturn returns to the same place
it was at the moment of your birth.
It happens when you're around 28 or 29
It's a period when you undergo
a lot of changes.
-When we reach adulthood, you know.
-I see.
Right. So your Saturn return
is taking place
right here at 1:05 p.m.?
Saturn is a bitch.
Right.
It's not me you owe an apology to, kid.
Netinho, do you think I'm happy
to stand there and say,
"Hey, y'all.
Don't mind me. I was just joking, okay?
"I'm not fit to lead anything.
"I can't do the rule of three
with a calculator."
I took the liberty of writing you
a letter of resignation.
President Vargas killed himself
so he wouldn't have to resign.
He needed to feel loved by the people.
Lucky for you, you don't feel the same.
I am a failure in life.
I am a failure in life.
Do you need anything, my darling?
I need Halls candy.
And to disappear.
Look, I happen to have
some Halls candy here.
You look distressed, ma'am.
Not distressed.
I'd say I'm shitting my pants.
Who wouldn't be, right?
I don't feel ready yet.
I'm trying not to sound too cliché, but
Are you familiar with the story
of Moses, ma'am?
Many people think that Moses
parted the Red Sea and just crossed it.
Not exactly.
Moses kept going.
He went further and further into the sea.
At some point, the water got this high.
Then, this high. Then, this high.
It wasn't before Moses thought
it would be impossible to go further
that the Red Sea parted and he crossed it.
Do you understand, darling?
You will never feel ready for anything!
The Red Sea won't part itself for you.
You have to cross it.
Only then, it happens.
So, is this feeling that I'm drowning
a good sign?
Nobody gets elected for no reason.
Including me?
-Madam Governor.
-Pleasure.
I'm your vice-governor.
I knew I've seen your face somewhere.
Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I am a failure in life.
How could I, of all people,
take care of Rio de Janeiro?
Rio de Janeiro needs to grow.
It needs to take care of its health.
Focus on education.
It needs its basic sanitation services.
Rio de Janeiro is a failure in life.
So am I.
I don't pay attention to my health.
I didn't focus on my education.
And let's be honest, I lack basic hygiene.
I am this state.
Maybe that's why it voted for me.
Nobody I knew voted for me. I didn't.
I didn't vote for myself.
But this state did.
A friend told me
that no one is elected for no reason.
Maybe she's right.
Rio,
I accept you!
Let's fix our life, okay?
Let's grow together.
That's it, man. Let's grow.
Support the governor!
She's perfect, isn't she?
Told you she was.
I only know one thing for sure.
I'm definitely going
to regret this tomorrow.
The sea only parts
if we move forward. Thanks, pastor.
Did you just post a selfie
with your opposition?
Which opposition?
A small miracle
Waiting to come to light
Communist, don't masturbate your baby
Before this selfie with you,
it only had 700 views.
He came from you
I should have resigned.