Father Brown (2013) s01e01 Episode Script

How many more times? Two more should square it.
One.
Do you know what they did in the Old Testament to people who reneged on their debts? Stoned them to death.
Caved their heads in.
That's not true.
Take a look.
I don't need to.
Unlike you, I've read it.
I bet.
Cover to cover.
Good little Catholic girl.
You're just being a good wife, remember? Let me hear you say it.
I'm a good wife.
If you ever doubt that then remember, if I don't get what I'm owed, I'll turn you from a wife to a widow in the blink of an eye.
I swear it.
So help me, God.
Good morning! Two utensils per dish.
Plates at the beginning, napkins at the end.
Savoury to sweet.
Yes, Reverend.
Father Brown! So glad you could come.
How could I not? Rumour has it you've invited half my flock.
Couldn't resist sharing my good fortune.
Just so long as you're not planning on poaching any of my souls.
Wouldn't dream of it! You're a wicked man, Reverend.
Just one moment.
Ah! Not there.
The petals will fall in the salad.
Looks nice.
Like garnish.
Susie? Mrs McCarthy? It's like I never left St Mary's! Agreed.
The Reverend Bohun asked me to bake some of my award-winning strawberry scones.
So, how could I refuse? And how can I? Not yet! When the guests arrive.
Thought I was a guest.
Kluski z makiem I rodzynkami.
It's very popular in Poland.
With whom? Household pets? Mmm! I don't think so, Reverend.
Simeon's very busy today.
Too busy for scones and tea? Well, I've just started preparing lunch.
Come afterwards.
Please! It won't be the same without you.
Yes, all right.
Wonderful.
So, what do you think? Hmm? The new clock tower.
New roofing slates, cast iron dials, brand new bell.
Kembleford will hear its first resounding bellow at 3pm precisely.
Are you sure? What do you mean? Well, it seems to be running about ten seconds too slow.
You can't tell that from a pocket watch.
You're pulling my leg.
Wouldn't dream of it! Fry-up for lunch? Well, I thought you deserved it, you've been working so hard.
Oh, and don't get too excited, but I did tell the Reverend we'd make it to his extravaganza later.
Oh, I've got three more jobs on.
I know, but we could afford a short break.
We can't afford anything, least alone a fry-up, can we? Look.
Look I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It smells delicious.
What? What? I'm just just thinking how lucky I am.
What did I say? Nothing.
I'm just tired, that's all.
You're not going to wear this to the table, are you? It's filthy.
Better? Coo-eee! I am SO sorry to disturb you! I was wondering if we could borrow some Oh! I'll put something on.
Yes, thank you.
We've run out of plates.
I think we'll need 10 or 15 at least, if you can spare.
I have made my award-winning strawberry scones and I expect them to be popular as ever.
'Thank you, dear.
You're welcome.
Very much appreciated.
' I shudder to think what I might've seen if I'd arrived a few minutes later.
You must acknowledge that evolution renders God superfluous, at best.
No, on the contrary.
The majesty of life's tapestry reveals the divine.
It doesn't deny it.
You ought to spend some time with me in the field, watching insects devouring each other.
Then tell me how divine you think it is.
That sounds fascinating.
I love camping.
Tell me when and where.
Father Brown! Talking of wildlife Lady Felicia, you appear to have something nesting in your hat.
Oh! You do tickle me, Father.
I hear you're entertaining us later.
Reverend Bohun has insisted I perform my Habanera.
I'm sure he did.
Polish delicacy? Award-winning scone? Oh, how lovely.
Seems my invitation got lost in the post.
Ecumenical harmony.
Warms the heart.
Catholics and Anglicans taking tea together, pretending to be all chummy.
Pretending? Oh, come on, Father.
Underneath it all you think the other side's going to hell.
And besides, all the pomp and bluster of Catholicism, it's all a bit silly, isn't it? Norman! Forgive my brother.
He's entitled to his opinion.
As odious as it is.
I, for one, find Norman's candour refreshing.
As refreshing as a used toilet! Oh, I do beg your pardon.
That was most uncouth.
Erm, award-winning scone? You're a vulgar man.
Lady Felicia, I may be wrong but, judging by your general demeanour and the way you're looking at me, I'd say I'm making you randy.
Elizabeth, haven't seen you at mass for a while.
Is anything wrong? I'm sorry, Father.
Just busy.
I'm not chastising you.
Is there anything you want to talk about? No Everything's fine.
Thank you.
You're supposed to be gone! I need more money.
I gave you £10.
You're not getting a penny more.
You know how expensive is London? It'll cost you more if you stay here.
I guarantee it.
L'amour L'amour L'amour L'amour L'amour est enfant de boheme Il n'a jamais Jamais, connu de loi Si tu ne m'aimes pas What are you doing?! Come on! You forgot something, you vile, disgusting rodent! You're finished, Barnes.
So this is where you hide the good stuff, is it? I'm cutting you off.
Excuse me? Father left a clause in the inheritance.
It entrusts me with the purse strings, including all real estate holdings.
I'm invoking it.
Do you think I wanted it to come to this? You're out of control.
Drinking, gambling, indulging your basest appetites.
This is a lie.
It's all there in black and white.
As is this.
It's not too late for you to be saved, Norman.
Please.
Let us pray.
Is it true? Oh! All right? Trust you to liven up a party.
Poker game still on for next weekend? No of fence, but right now I don't need the fawnings of a sycophant.
Where's the Reverend? He's going to miss his big moment.
Ah! Oh! Everything all right? I'll be fine.
Can't let my brother's shenanigans ruin the day.
No.
Thank you for coming.
My sincerest apologies for the fracas earlier.
We won't let it spoil things.
We've been blessed with beautiful weather, and in about ten seconds we'll be blessed with the sound of glorious bells.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
Norman! No! Oh, sweet Jesus! He's dead.
Looks like a single blow to the head.
The skull's been crushed like an eggshell.
Fragments of bone driven through the ground and body.
Perhaps you should go inside.
I'm not going anywhere.
Search for a weapon.
Lady Felicia, did you see anyone running away from the scene? I can't, um I just It's all right.
Take your time.
I was cleaning my hat.
I looked out and I saw he was lying there.
I I didn't see anyone else.
I'm sorry, I think I need to lie down.
Come on.
Yes.
I'm going to need statements from all of you.
Who last saw Mr Bohun alive? Isn't that obvious? The murderer.
He attacked him less than an hour before in front of dozens of witnesses.
Mr Barnes? Mr Barnes, did you do this? He got what was coming to him.
Is that a confession? You don't need a confession.
Look at his head.
Who else could deliver such a blow? Inspector.
Is this one of yours? Yeah.
Simeon Barnes, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Norman Bohun.
You are not obliged to say anything Wait! It was me.
I did it.
No.
I'm sorry, Reverend.
That's not possible.
Look at her.
She has neither the strength nor the brutality.
Mrs Barnes, if you're trying to protect your husband I stole the hammer from the forge.
I crept up behind him.
And And I hit him.
I swear it, its true.
So help me God.
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Barnes, I'm arresting you for the murder of Norman Bohun.
You are not obliged to say anything unless you wish to do so, but whatever you say will be taken down in writing and may be given in evidence.
I tried so hard to save him.
I know.
I can't believe Elizabeth could do this.
It had to be Simeon.
I'm fond of her, too, but we mustn't allow our emotions to blind us to the possibility that she may be guilty.
Not of murder.
Not her.
It's not in her nature.
Even if you're right, it doesn't necessarily follow that Simeon is the culprit.
Trust you to look for mysteries when the truth's right in front of your eyes.
I don't so much look for mysteries, as they come looking for me.
And your penchant for spy novels and crossword puzzles? That's forced upon you, is it? You may be right.
But you must admit that your brother had a certain reputation.
And Simeon Barnes is not the only person who'll be glad that he's gone.
Then you admit Elizabeth may be innocent? I never said otherwise.
Then speak to the inspector.
You know him better than I do.
Tell him.
I don't think he'll appreciate me interfering.
When has that stopped you before? She says Norman threatened to kill her husband, so she got to him first.
Can't get much more out of her than that.
But she's put her name to it now.
Doesn't mean much if she's lying.
It does to the prosecuting solicitors.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been one month since my last confession.
I've had relations outside of marriage.
Twice.
I thought you and Simeon were happy.
We were.
Simeon He gambles.
I found an IOU note for £50.
Poker.
We'd lose everything.
The house I tried to talk to him about it, but he told me not to worry, that he'd sort it out.
Typical man.
So I went to Norman and I begged him to waive the debt.
And he agreed on the condition that I I'm so sorry, Elizabeth.
Is there anything else you wish to confess? No.
Then you must tell the inspector.
I won't see my husband hang.
Norman Bohun had any number of enemies.
Well, until one of them turns up with blood on their hands, I won't say anything else.
Anything? You know I wish I could tell you.
How about this? Tap your brolly on the floor, once for yes, twice for no.
You know it's not that simple.
It's a woman's life.
And her soul, lest we forget.
Inspector Were her fingerprints found on the hammer? Oh, no you don't.
I'm only trying to help.
Then quid pro quo.
You see? I know a bit of Latin, too.
You know I can't.
I thought you were a renegade.
Hardly.
Though I'm flattered you think so.
Then do the heroic thing and tell me what you know.
Then, unless you have information pertinent to this investigation, information you can actually share, don't get involved.
Father, which floors do you want me do first? Presbytery or church? Yes, why not? Good morning, Father.
Susie.
I thought I'd make a start on the quarterly accounts.
Don't bother, he's been on moon last few days.
Father Brown? Are you all right? You had that look on your face.
Look? Wheels turning.
You don't usually get that look unless there's something amiss.
There's nothing amiss.
Don't worry.
So, you're going to the funeral? Mm.
Do you really think Mrs Barnes is responsible for? Why do you say that? You think that Susie? If you must get it out of me, I saw Susie and Norman arguing shortly before he was found murdered.
And when the inspector asked if anyone saw Norman before it happened, she didn't say anything.
What were they arguing about? I I don't know.
I think it was about money.
Even so, Susie's hardly the type to commit cold-blooded murder.
You only say that because you're so fond of her.
Do you think I should tell Inspector Valentine? Not yet.
I'll speak to Susie myself 'after the funeral.
' You all right, Wilfred? I have some snacks.
I'll put them out.
Don't trouble yourself, I'm not staying.
Fine.
Did you speak to Elizabeth? Yes.
And? Let's just say I'm investigating.
Always sad when so few people come to pay their respects.
Even for someone like Norman? Presumably, you don't think he was a bad sort? Being his friend.
Maybe I'm a bad sort, Father.
Think about that.
You don't strike me as one.
Well, appearances and all that.
Why won't you admit it? Your wife is in prison for a crime she didn't commit.
Don't talk to me about my wife.
Do you not fear eternity in hell? What, like your brother, you mean? The adulterer? Cos that's where he is now, isn't he? Fire stripping the flesh from his bones.
An eternity of blistering agony Stop it! What, two-pronged attack, is it? Shall we go inside, Reverend? Do you not care about your wife? I said don't talk to me about my wife! Mr Barnes! You see? Oh.
Oh, I run out of disinfector.
Disinfectant.
I'll go shops.
Yes, dear.
Good morning.
Good morning.
We all have our vices.
I come in peace.
Are you following me? Guilty as charged.
Last thing anyone wants in here is a preacher.
I haven't come to preach.
How about you make yourself useful? Use your divine insight, tell me which one of these has His blessing.
No, I couldn't possibly.
Oh.
But if I were a betting man, I'd go for Fluffy Duck.
Right.
Ten bob on Fluffy Duck.
And I always had you down as a non-believer.
Well, your guess is as good as any.
Yet that amounts to an awful lot of faith.
Why don't you give this one a miss? Get out of my way.
Or? I spoke to Elizabeth.
I think you should, too.
Why's that? Because you love her.
After what she did? Yes.
Even after what she did.
That's what love is, isn't it? Did she say anything about why she did it? What? The infidelity? Or the? Both.
Both.
You didn't kill him.
No.
You think she's innocent? I think you should to talk to your wife.
Come on, come on! Come on, Fluffy Duck! Faster! Faster! Get in.
Come on, Fluffy! Yes, Fluffy Duck, come on! Come on, come on, come on, come on! 'Eternal Passion takes it.
' Aw! Father Brown, I've been looking for you everywhere.
You look in bloom.
I followed Susie.
Into a florist's? She lied to me.
About what? 'The next train to arrive at platform one 'is the delayed half-past-one train to Worcester 'calling at Waterloo Marsh, Evesham, Pershore, Worcester Shrub Hill 'and Worcester Foregate Street.
' Afternoon, Inspector.
Lovely day for it.
I hear you've been doing some sleuthing.
Just taking care of my flock.
I specifically told you not to get involved.
I'm sorry, Inspector, I can't hear you over this awful wind.
Then slow down.
In fact, stop.
Father Brown! Are you OK? Ticket, Father? Church business! Susie! I used to clean his house.
Norman Bohun? He gave me big tips.
Tried to make some doings with me, but I didn't let him.
Father? Sister Mary, Sister Margaret.
Is that what Mrs McCarthy heard you arguing about at the party? No.
The people in camp, they are really poor.
Some not as lucky as me to get work.
They need money.
I help them.
How? I found out secret.
Told him he has to pay or I tell.
You were blackmailing him? I tried.
But he said, "No.
Who would believe an immigrant?" Orders me to leave the village.
Says if I don't he'll hurt me.
But someone hurt him.
It wasn't me.
What was the secret? Last month, I arrived early to his house.
He didn't hear me.
I went to his bedroom I can't say it.
Not to you.
Trust me, Susie, there's not much I haven't heard in my line of work.
He was with a man.
I spoke to the prosecuting solicitor.
He won't accept your retraction.
I'm afraid I have to formally charge you with murder.
I'm sorry.
But she didn't do it.
As far as the pro sols are concerned, she had means, motive, and opportunity.
As did I and a score of other people.
But she's the only one who confessed at the scene, and subsequently signed a confession.
So what happens now? You argue your case in the assizes.
But if she loses, then? Then I could hang.
Making good on my promise.
Promise? Watching insects devour each other.
Sorry to disappoint you, but these caddisfly tend to feed on nectar, and if you don't mind, I prefer to work How many larvae do you think are in this pond? A typical mass contains up to 800 eggs.
And this particular species forms webs of debris for protection against predators.
Birds, frogs, spiders Survival of the fittest, eh? I spoke to Susie, Norman's housekeeper I don't know what you're talking about.
She told me what she saw.
What are you going to do with this information? I have no intention at all to expose you.
Has she told anyone else? No.
How can you be sure?! I know her.
I'm sure.
You know what could happen to me?! Please, Mr Walker, calm down.
Calm down? You're not the one facing the possibility of arrest and chemical treatments! Neither are you.
No one else knows.
No one else will.
Your secret is safe.
- I haven't come here to judge.
- Then why? - You think I did it? - Of course.
It must be me - the deviant.
It's a sad fact that many victims are killed by the people who are supposed to love them.
I did love him.
He could be selfish.
Cruel.
But he was always honest.
Always who he was.
Like a little boy sometimes.
I would never I know.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Did anyone else know about you and Norman? I don't know.
If you ever need to talk, I won't try and convert you.
Likewise.
Hm.
No! - Have you gone mad? - I don't think so.
Though, if I had, I suppose I wouldn't know any different.
What are you doing up here? I came to reset the clock.
Strange you didn't do it.
You're normally so fastidious.
In case you haven't noticed, I've had a lot on my mind.
I did notice.
Where did you get that? The hammer? I borrowed it from the forge.
The gloves, you left up here the other day.
Explains why there weren't any fingerprints on the hammer.
What are you talking about? I think there's something dangerous about being on high places, even to pray, don't you? Looking down on the world and all the people in it.
You came up here to reset the clock but something disturbed you in your task.
Something you saw so enraged you Are you accusing me of? Yes.
I'm afraid I am.
How dare you! You will tell the truth.
If, afterwards, you choose to walk away without telling a soul, I won't stop you.
Your secret is safe with me.
I give you my word on that.
But you will tell the truth.
Here and now.
You're far too tactile, Father.
Has anyone ever told you that? The sanctity of confession.
I purge myself, you let me go Scot free.
You're a fool.
I don't mind playing the fool, if it leads me to the truth.
Yes, I took the hammer.
My only intention was to reset the clock.
Poker game still on for next weekend? No of fence, but right now, I don't need the fawnings of a sycophant.
What do you need? I could forgive him almost anything.
Lust, avarice, even murder.
But not that.
'And so, in a burst of pure passion' '.
.
the hammer flew from my hand.
' It felt so good, because I knew my hand was guided.
I was but a vessel of the Lord's will.
His agent.
It was what He wanted.
How could it not be so? From up here, what's the alternative? Chance? Luck? There's no such thing.
Everything has order.
Everything has meaning.
This was divine intervention.
Everything all right? I'll be fine.
Can't let my brother's shenanigans ruin the day.
Yes, my brother is dead.
But it was by God's hands, not mine.
I shall not repent.
Yes, but why the guilty conscience? I have no such thing.
It's why you didn't reset the clock, because you couldn't face coming to the scene of the crime.
I answer to one higher power and He will judge me righteous.
Righteous? Using His name to justify your malice? No.
Your actions were yours and yours alone.
Look into your heart, you know it's true.
Thank you for the counsel, Father.
I'll be leaving now.
You can still be saved.
And so can Elizabeth.
Is it God's will that she hangs for your crime? They'll see she's innocent.
Are you willing to take that chance? God will save her.
God is not your scapegoat! If you have a shred of conscience left in you, you will do the right thing.
You're right, Father.
I'm a wicked man.
You can be saved if that's what you want.
You've done the right thing.
I'll ride with him, if I may.
I owe you that much.
Morning.
Morning.
Lady Felicia, you look positively radiant.
How are your vocal chords this morning? Ready to delight the congregation with my Amazing Grace.
Can't wait.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Susie.
What you think I've done now? Chopped off somebody's head? By way of an apology for thinking you were a murderer I got one of the girls at the camp to teach me how to make it.
Mmm.
Not bad, for old English woman.
Irish! Oh, and thank you, I suppose.
If you like, I could teach you how to make my award-winning strawberry scones.
Hmm.
Ah! Mrs Barnes and Mr Barnes.
Ah well, don't get your hopes up, Father.
I'm just here for the music.
You won't be disappointed.
See you in there.
Father, I just wanted to say No need.