Felicity s01e01 Episode Script

Dear Sally, you should probably be sitting down for this.
First of all, everything was perfectly fine.
I mean, you know, on paper.
High school was going exactly as it was supposed to.
I mean, in three months, I'd be at Stanford pre-med, then in four years, Stanford med schooI, then I'd start my four-year residency at one of the Stanford hospitals.
My dad was thrilled, you know, because he's basically had my life planned out for me since I was pretty much a zygote.
Woman: Claire Jessica Corman.
Felicity: I was surrounded by people actually looking forward to their lives.
Woman: BenJamin Steven Covington.
Woman: Felicity Elizabeth Porter graduates with honors.
Felicity: My parents' reaction was typically understated.
Woman: So on this day, undoubtedly one of the most exciting of your lives, I urge you to savor the possibilities.
Embrace life, because these days will not come again.
Felicity: They say that crash victims - people who lose a limb - that they can still feeI the missing arm or leg, even after it's gone.
It's called "phantom pain, " right? Well, suddenly I had this horrible thought - What if high schooI went away but the feeling of it didn't? I- I mean, I-I didn't feeI Joy or sorrow or anticipation.
Things were going so well, but all I could feeI was was dread.
Three years ago, I held a pint of Ben Covington's blood.
I was volunteering at the 1 Oth-grade blood drive.
That's Just about as close as we ever got.
It's funny.
Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever.
Woman: So proud of you! Young man: Mom, you know what? You know what? I cannot deaI with this today.
Not today, all right? Fine.
Not today.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
I'm Felicity Porter.
Yeah, I know.
I'm Ben.
Yeah, I know.
II was Just wondering if, um, you would mind signing my yearbook.
- I don't have mine with me.
- Oh, gosh, that's okay.
I - Here's a pen for you.
Thanks.
I Just got it today.
That's why, you know, there aren't any signatures.
Except for, uh, Mr.
Johnson, who's here today somewhere, which I was surprised about.
Anywhere would be great.
Can you give me Just a minuteto do this? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Thanks for asking.
Good luck on, you know Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You too.
- I'll see you.
Okay.
So this is what Ben Covington wrote.
"Dear Felicity, here it goes - "I've watched you for four years, "always wondered what you were like, "what was going on in your mind "all that time when you were so quiet, Just thinking, "drawing in your notebook.
"I should've Just asked you, but I never asked you.
"So now, four years later, I don't even know you.
"But I admire you.
"Well, this makes me sound crazy, "but I'm okay with that.
"So take care of yourself.
Love, Ben.
"P.
S.
I would've said keep in touch, but unfortunately we never were in touch.
" Hey! Where are you going to college? New York.
What about you? That'spretty unclear.
Suddenly I knew what everyone else was feeling.
How long's this been going on in your mind? Could you have waited any longer to drop this bomb? I told you - I decided today.
I called them, and they said it would take extraordinary circumstances to admit someone at this late - All right.
If you want to make this decision, fine.
But I will not, in any way, financially support it.
- They're sending the student-loan - Loans? and the work-study forms with a late application.
I.
.
I worked this hard so you wouldn't have to go through what I did.
No, Dad, you made it so I'd have to go through exactly what you did! I know you want me to follow in your footsteps, but I Just Basically, I can't.
That was the worst summer of my life.
So, basically, I've given up everything my parents ever planned for me, everything I ever expected, all for a boy I don't even know.
I guess what I'm saying is, this all might be a colossal mistake, as my dad would say.
But on the other hand, it might Maybe it'll save my life or something.
I don't know.
Please respond A.
S.
A.
P.
I miss you.
Love, Felicity.
Next, please.
Oh, sorry.
Thanks.
Hi.
How are you? Great.
Just look at the dot, please.
Is my - Is my hair a disaster? Please be honest, because I, uh, I'm gonna have to live with this picture for the next four years, and that's a really long time.
Hey! What are you doing here? Hi! I'm - This is - I'm going - This is where I'm going.
I totally forgot you were going here.
That is so unbelievable.
Hey.
I know this girl from high school.
This is Susan.
This is, um This is, um - Um - Felicity.
Felicity.
Wow.
So I'll see you around? Felicity: I, um I basically haven't really had a lot of time yet to, uh, review the classes and schedules.
I guess I Just need a little time to catch up.
Because, you know, there's a lot to consider now that, uh I'm here.
I got a phone call from your parents.
You're not the first student whose parents weren't to a particular college.
They're, uh, concerned.
They're more than concerned.
They're insulted.
So do you think that my coming here was a bad idea, too? Well, really only you can answer that.
What I can tell you is that, well, New York - the city as well as the university can be a little overwhelming and is often best suited for the independently minded student, and your parents seem to imply thatyou might not fit into that category.
Do you have any specific interests outside of medicine? I- I draw sometimes.
I paint.
I brought you some you know, some samples.
For whatever it's worth.
My parents said that? When we get through with him, Alexander Pope will have become your favorite diminutive, Catholic, English, hunchback poet in the whole world.
I've been doing this a lot of years, and I know what's on most of your minds right now, so let me answer some of the inevitable freshman questions, or, as I refer to them, the "FQs.
" Yes, I grade on a curve But breathe easy which is not to say that I haven't had the displeasure of handing out some incompletes over the years.
But looking at this group, I am confident that will not be the case this year.
Is your teacher's hair backwards? Unless I'm wrong.
And I've been wrong before.
It's Just everything.
Being in New York, you know, and - and trying to get my course schedule all figured out - it's Just a little overwhelming, I guess.
God, it is so good to hear somebody else say that.
It's difficult, right? Just figuring out the system.
You know, the only two classes I wanted were filled by the time I even got here.
Yeah, I know.
And I have this really mysterious roommate situation.
What do you mean? I haven't even met her yet.
She doesn't sleep in our room.
And she has these these bone sculptures.
My roommate has this phobia.
Of what? Well, she cleans everything.
Everything in the room smells like pine, which is disgusting.
Come on.
I swear to God.
She wears a face mask when she goes out.
You might've seen her.
- That's crazy.
- That's my point.
You know, I know it's Just college, but it's sort of terrifying, isn't it? It's terrifying.
Oh, my God.
That is so embarrassing.
That is so something I would do.
I cannot believe that that's not me.
What are you looking at? I'llbe right back.
By the way, I'm Felicity.
I'm Julie.
So, what's going on? I Just want to, uh, preface this by saying that, uh, I don't want you to feel weird about anything I'm about to say at all.
Okay.
Uhthe thing is I came to New York, um mostly because of you.
Yeah, I had these, uh, sort of, um, intense feelings for you back in high schooI, and, uh, even though I know that we never really talked before graduation except that one time when I, uh, was passing out fliers for the blood drive Anyway, maybe the fact that we never did talk was why I had those feelings.
Because now, of course, I realize now that it was a crazy thing to do to follow someone I don't know 3,000 miles, and I sort of panicked about it, but I Just wanted you to know that I'm past that, and I'm - I'm totally okay with it now.
I mean it, you know? Because it's not really about you so much anymore.
I'm here now, you know uh, because I'm here.
So, um what are you thinking? I'm - honestly? Honestly, I'm Just - I'm JustI'm flattered.
- Good.
- By the whole thing, I'm flattered.
I am.
- Good.
That's really a perfect, perfect answer.
Okay.
So, uh, can we Just be friends? - Yeah, sure.
- Great.
Of course.
Yeah.
Okay.
Felicity: Work-study isn't so bad, really.
I file student applications in the admissions office three hours, three times a week.
The one rule - the only reaI serious rule - - * Baby, what can I do? * - is to respect the confidentiality of the documents, which means, of course, - * I've been out * - that I'm not supposed to read them.
* Searching for you * * I've got a feeling all I need * Okay, well, Dad - all right.
I'm sorry, but this isn't about what Uncle Harvey deeply feels I should be doing with my life.
You know what? I have to go.
I - I'm gonna get off the phone, all right, you guys? Okay, can I hang up now, please? Thanks.
Bye.
Sorry! Oh, God! Aah! Sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
Uh, Felicity, right? I'm Noel.
I'm - I'm the R.
A.
I'm not a stalker, the resident advisor on the floor - room - room 729, end of the hall.
Just, you know, Just stopping by to say yo and welcome and-- and, uh, if there's ever anything you need, I'm kind of like the - the floor shrink, so Just, uh, Just knock.
Anytime.
Okay? Uh, and sorry about the scary part.
That's okay.
Okay.
Is now a bad time? I was consumed by temptation, which I've-- I've never been consumed by temptation before.
And remember the, uh, essay question was, "What was the event that most changed your life," right? I mean, so here was this chance to really learn a lot about this guy.
So what, you read this guy Ben's college application essay? You photocopied this guy Ben's college application essay.
Is that bad? Oh, Just read it, please.
Uh, "I never liked my older brother.
"He was too well-behaved, too handsome, "too talented, too much.
"Until I was 13, I lived like a Cimmerian, in perpetual darkness - "the darkness of Jonathan's shadow.
In 1992, Jonathan died of brain cancer.
" Just, uh, s- skip down to there.
"and as I held the college application, "it occurred to me, although it was his dream, "this was an act Jonathan had never experienced.
"I had surpassed him simply by surviving.
"I was older than my older brother now, "and there, alone in my room, "I cried for Jonathan for the first time, cried for the loss, cried for the love I never knew I had.
" Here's what I need to know - is it possible to be Just friends with someone I have these sort of immoderate feelings for, or am I doomed forever to Just be in love and ultimately, I think, significantly hurt? Absolutely, you can be friends with Ben.
- Really? - Yeah, because, see, you're new here, all right? And your emotions are heightened.
Everything's heightened.
Everything's-- everything's so much higher than usual, right? So-- so give it a month and things will normalize.
I swear.
Okay? Trust me.
I'm the R.
A.
Okay.
I'm - You're right.
You're right! Thank you.
Thank you, Noel.
You're welcome, Felicity.
I'm making an adjustment to the George curve.
I'm concerned that some of my initial comments along the lines of, "No one will faiI this course" were taken a little too literally and a little too liberally by many of you.
You know who you are.
And now I know who you are.
So you will see a slight adJustment in today's assignment.
Felicity: It's amazing how much a person can change in two weeks.
NoeI was right.
I mean, the old me would've never been able to let go of my expectations - I mean, in - in terms of Ben.
When he asked me for help, he wanted to make sure, you know, that I was okay with things and that I wouldn't feeI weird, which I thought was really amazing.
- Ben: "I cannot live " - So this is what it is - We're becoming friends, which, I swear to God, I'm totally okay with surprisingly.
What do you think she means by that? Okay.
Um, we could look at life as Just life and being alive Or maybe she means eternal life.
Maybe she's talking about Heaven? Yeah, I think that's right.
I think I think it's both.
Okay.
How come you never went to any parties in high school? Iwent to a couple.
Just in case you weren't there on Awards Day, I didn't exactly win "Most Popular.
" Oh, God.
You did, didn't you? - You actually won "Most Popular.
" Yeah.
Well, those things are Just stupid.
Come in.
Hey.
Hey, I got you this.
Uh, it's a pocket guide to the subway - sort of a survival thing.
Thanks.
You didn't have to do that, but thanks.
Yeah, it was, uh Don't worry about it.
So Okay.
I'll see you.
Oh, hey, I know we talked about studying for the review tomorrow afternoon, but I can't.
I got classes all day.
Well, the review's Friday.
Um Well, do you want to do it tomorrow night? By the way, have you done the calendar yet or not? - What? - You're doing the floor calendar for next month, right? Right, but don't I have two weeks for that? This is Noel, this is Ben.
How you doing? - Good, thanks.
- Good.
- I'm Just making sure you were on top of it.
- I'm on top of it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Tomorrow night I am actually, um, I made plans with Julie.
Uh, this one was Just to bug you.
All right.
Okay, my Job's done.
Bye-bye.
You know what? Why don't you and Julie and I all go together? Do you think Julie would be okay with that? Of course.
You want to hear the scariest thing so far? I found my roommate doing my laundry.
- Who, the clean freak? - She didn't think my underwear was clean enough to be in the same room as her underwear.
I'm applying for a room change.
Hey, so you know Ben from Poetry? It's okay if he comes along tonight, right? What? Nothing.
You know, I think I have a handle on it.
On what? The Blake poem - our assignment.
- I- Ithought it was tough, but - Wait you said you were desperate, though.
Look, seriously, you guys go out.
I don't want to be a fifth wheel.
Julie we're not going out.
I mean, we're studying, and we all three need to study, right? What is the deal with you guys - you and Ben? Are you dating, or No! Oh, no.
We're Just friends.
I mean, we know each other from high school.
- Oh.
You guys went to the same high school? - Yeah.
'Cause I really thought that there was something going on.
No.
I Just I didn't want to be the one on the outside.
Of course not.
So will you come, please? In his house? His house? All of them? In his house? Wait.
What about the guy, um, who gives his dog a bath-- Right.
And to dry it off, he puts it in the microwave.
Yeah.
That is the classic one of all time.
I heard it was a cat.
- No, it was a dog.
- Are you sure? - It had to be a dog.
- Cat.
So anyway, do we know any others? What about the one about the, uh, couple that go to Vietnam? - You're just full of them.
- I don't like that one.
- I got them all.
That one - the Vietnam one - that's horrible.
That's disgusting.
You don't know that one? Okay, I'll be right back.
Will you get me another drink? * But Just remember * - * Sisters * - * Sisters * * You can still stand tall * So I don't know how you're gonna feel about this.
Feel about what? Wellwhat we said the other day about being friends - Remember that? I mean, I Just want to - Did you mean that? You meant what you said? Umyeah.
I-- I mean, of course I did.
Why? What are you No.
It's Just, um I'm kind of into Julie, and I Just wanted to make sure that it's okay.
Oh, no.
- N-no.
Oh.
Oh - I am so sorry.
- I mean, I thought you said that - - No, I - Don't.
Don't.
No.
I- I - There's nothing to be sorry about.
- I am - That's actually really fine.
- Are you sure? Yeah.
Ohyeah.
Well, what do you think? I mean, I can't I can't tell if she likes me or not.
I can't tell if I'm sitting here and I'm talking too much or what.
- * You can still stand tall * - Um I think, uh, that Julie thinks you know What? That that you're wonderful.
Are you serious? Umhi.
A- Are you Meghan? Yeah.
Hi.
I'm Felicity, your roommate.
- Hello? - Ben? - No, it's Sean.
- Put Ben on.
Hello? It's Felicity.
Buzz me up.
Do you think we can talk tomorrow? Ben, no.
How could you write that in my yearbook? What? "I've watched you for four years, always wondered what you were like" - You wrote those words to me! I thought I asked if you were okay with things.
I was okay, but that doesn't mean your actions don't have consequences.
Oh, my actions.
What actions are those? Oh, come on.
Even the slightest behavior means something.
That's so obvious! It's like physics - nothing happens without an effect.
- Well, I never took physics.
- No, don't say you never took physics, because that's what you do - you - you - you play innocent, and you're charismatic, and you smile, and you get away with it, and you made me fall for you.
And this is what's not fair - you knew it, and you liked it.
What, do I like the fact that you like me? Yes, of course I do.
When I told you why I came here, you said you were flattered.
Flattered? No.
I was awkward.
I revealed a little bit about myself in your yearbook, and you change your college plans.
- What the hell are we talking about here? - I know you better than you think I do.
- Oh, you do? - Yes.
I know all about your brother.
- What? - I read your application essay.
- You read my essay? - Yes! I've done one questionably - immoral thing in 17 years-- - No, no, no, no, no.
Wait a sec.
How did you read my essay? How could you lead me on? You made me fall in love with you! You know what? You're acting crazy! All I did was be nice to you.
I never asked you to come here.
That was your choice, not mine.
How could you think that you're in love with me? You don't even know me.
Hey.
Hey.
Felicity: I mean, if you think about the, uh, advantages - * Spend all your time waiting * - and the disadvantages of, uh, being here compared to Just taking a semester off and - * For that second chance * - and going back to Stanford - * For a break * - In the long run, you know - - * That will make it okay * - even the short run,I'll be way ahead - * There's always some reason * - you know, of the general, um - * To feeI not good enough * - I mean, s-staying here really would cost a fortune, - * And it's hard at the end of the day * - And my dad was right when he said that he worked really hard * I need some distraction * - to keep me from having to pay for college for, like, a decade after I graduate.
- * Or a beautifuI release * - And I should take advantage of that.
* Memories seep from my veins * - * Let me be empty * - And the financial aid office actually said that, uh, - * Weightless and maybe * - they would refund a portion of the semester, so - * I'll find some peace tonight * - My parents are coming on Sunday, which seems like pretty good timing, don't you think? * In the arms of the angeI * So I'm gonna Just go back to Palo Alto - * Far away from here * - and get back on track, you know, become a doctor - * From this dark * - and, uh, maybe save someone else's life.
- * Cold hoteI room * - Okay.
- * And the endlessness * - Okay.
Okay.
- * That you fear * - Uh Thank you * You are pulled * - * From the wreckage * - for, uh, your patience.
* Of your silent revelry * You must think I'm a real basket case.
- * You're in the arms of the angeI * - Look, I, uh, I got a chance to look over your portfolio.
* May you find - And I'm not saying you wouldn't make * an exceptional physician, but you're already an artist.
* Some comfort here * Thank you.
Thank you.
- * So tired of the straight line * - Thank you.
* And everywhere you turn * * There's vultures and thieves at your back * * The storm keeps on twisting * - * You keep on building the lies * - This was outside your door.
* That you make up for all that you lack * - * In the arms * - Must've been put in the wrong mailbox by mistake, - * Of the angeI * - which would bepretty weird for the mailroom.
* Far away from here * Who's it from? - * From this dark * - My French tutor.
- * Cold hoteI room * - She, uh - * And the endlessness that you fear * - We worked together for years and - She was supposed to be married, but * You are pulled * three months before her wedding, her fiance was killed.
- * From the wreckage * - He was, uh, on a motorcycle, - * Of your silent revelry * - and the guy who hit him was in a Jeep.
Sally sort of couldn't deal, so she moved away - * You're in the arms of the angeI* - Just 'cause, I guess, she had to.
I've never been able to talk to anyone like I can talk to her, so - * May you find * - instead of writing, I talk to her, and she talks back to me.
- * Some comfort here * - And that's who that's from.
I'm sure you felt the same thing when Jonathan died.
* You're in the arms of the angeI * - Listen, I need to talk to you.
I'm sorry about the other night.
I * May you find * - Maybe we could go up on the roof or something.
* Some comfort here * Please.
What I wanted to say to you, what I've been thinking about since you came to see me the other night, is the truth.
And the fact is, Felicity, the thing that I wanted to share with you is that I never had a brother, ever.
I mean, I had to write something, right? So I wrote all this-- Well, you read what I wrote.
And I wanted to tell you because Well, I-I don't know why I wanted to tell you.
Because you provoke me, you know? You make me think about things that I-I never think about.
Without even saying anything.
Just by the way you look at me.
You want the absolute truth? One of the main reasons I wanted to come to New York was that there was a pretty good chance of getting as far away from everything as possible, my parents, my family, all that crap.
And, yeah, on top of it, I - I lied to get in, so basically, I'm a shallow loser.
But I'm also very sorry that I'm not who you thought I was - a guy you came so far to get to know because you thought he was so great, and I'm not.
What are you thinking? I'd never made a substantial choice in my life and that's why I came here.
I thought it was you, but you were Just really the excuse.
When I came up to you at graduation, it was like a high, like a drug, because I had never done something like that before.
What I mean is that I wasn't fully sober.
And so the irony of it is that the first real big decision I made turned out to be Just stupid and embarrassing.
And I guess something that I'll look back on as a regret.
And that's that.
I Just wanted to make sure that everything was okay with us, you know, especially if you're leaving.
You didn't have to do that.
Yeah, I did.
I can't wait to see this place when it snows.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Here's - here's my speech.
This is the big speech from Noel.
Uhyou mustn't leave this school.
Why? Here's why.
Because this is - this is a life struggle.
This is fate.
This is a challenge.
I- If you turn away from this now, y-you will - and I promise you this - be confronted by the same issue five years from now.
Or ten.
All right? You'll be - you'll be the fancy doctor with the fancy practice.
You'll - you'll bemarried, and you'll have, like, four phone lines in your home, and then, boom - it'll - it'll grip you like - like a-a blast of - of freezing-cold air.
You know - "What - what the hell is my life?" And you'll able to trace it back to this instant this - this very moment, when that geek R.
A.
gave you these four words of advice - Stay in New York or perish.
Fi- six words.
Let me Just, um I Just want to I mean, you don't have f- feelings for me, do you? Me? Honestly? Do you? Yeah.
But if I could Just give you one more bit of advice.
Don't fundamentally disregard Just because of - of my affection for you.
I'm so sorry.
This is the last thing in the world that I wanted to hurt you.
If I had known that you liked Ben Felicity, I never, ever would've gone back to his place.
It all it Just It seems really important right now.
You are my friend, okay? And that means more to me than you probably think.
I'm not gonna see him again, okay? It doesn't matter.
I mean, I'm leaving anyway, so We realize we overreacted.
- Especially Dad.
- Especially me.
And when you think about it, so did you a little.
Anyway, we've obviously gone over this ad infinitum, and that's why we're here.
Amnesty.
Now, you missed the first quarter at Stanford.
That's no tragedy.
And we're very flexible on what we're proposing here, but the general idea is this: You come home - this week, next week - we cover every expense.
We'll even take care of that loan.
And you'll start at Stanford in January.
If you take a couple extra courses, you can make up the lost credits by June.
Yeah, then, you know, we're right back on schedule, and you got a chance to see the world a little and find out what you really wanted was what you already had.
What if they don't let me in? Oh, I took care of that.
Sweetie, I went by the registration office and picked up your packet.
What do you mean, took care of it? Oh, I made a few calls, had a few lunches.
Like in the Fall.
The point is - and I think you're being very mature about this - you made an impulsive decision, and and it was a mistake.
And now we're gonna fix it.
What did you do in the Fall? When you were accepted the first time, I made a few calls, I pulled a few strings.
I didn't know that.
Last but not least You can have Mom's car.
And when you get back, we'll all get together, and we'II look atsome apartments and see if there's anything we can all agree on.
What do you say? PANIC I guess the thing is thatif I made a mistake, then at - at least it was mine.
You know? Uhuh, no, I- I don't know.
What does that mean? It meansthat I- I think I have to stay.
But wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You were about to agree to this.
I know, but but that would've been a - a pretty impulsive decision, right? And, um I Just I don't think that would be the best thing to do.
But it is.
It is the best thing to do right now.
Well, I Just I really think I should give it some time, you know? I mean I really can't wait to see what the city looks like when it snows.
Snows.
All right.
If - if you do this, if you decide to do this and make this colossal mistake and stay, that's it.
We're not gonna baiI you out next time.
Well, I guess that's a decision you'll have to make.
Sally: Dear Felicity, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you.
It's been a reaI struggle in Santa Fe.
I guess when your heart gets broken, - * Love * - you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.
- * I get so lost * - I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us * Sometimes * - and that our mission is to never let it.
- * Days pass * - Two weeks ago I was going to move again.
I was all packed.
- * And this emptiness fills my heart * I was going to start all over somewhere new.
That morning I received your first tape from college.
- * When I want to run away * - I Just sat there in my little apartment, - * I drive off in my car * - listening to your voice, crying like a baby.
Suddenly you were tutoring me.
* But whichever way I go * * I come back to the place you are * * All my instincts * - * They return * - I guess I'm learning, little by little, - * The grand facade * - that we decide what our lives are gonna be.
- * So soon will burn * - Things happen to us, * Without a noise * - but it's our reactions that matter.
- * Without my pride * - I Just want you to know - * I reach out from the inside * - I think you've made a really great choice, and I can't wait to hear what happens.
* In your eyes * * The light, the heat * * Your eyes * I am complete *