Fired on Mars (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[Wind whipping]
Jeff: and I've been having
a lot of fun
with the little Zen garden
you sent.
It It's weird.
I never would
have thought to rake sand,
but every morning
I'm reaching for that rake,
just out of instinct,
making my neat little rows.
Anyway, boo,
I just wanted to say
I think I'm finally getting
a feel for things up here.
It's been a challenging few
months, as you're all too aware.
Y-You just can't expect
to settle into a new job overnight,
but I I feel like I've
finally crossed a threshold.
It's like, it's scary
taking a one-way trip to Mars.
I I mean, we talked about it
a million times.
But I made a commitment.
And here I am.
And I actually feel
pretty great about it.
I got all the building blocks,
and now it's just a matter
of doing the work.
You know, I got you.
I got my job.
And I feel good.
I feel really, really good.
♪
They had a pack of
mineral-sniffing robotic dogs.
A music director.
[Indistinct conversations]
A saltwater pool.
A turbocharged sand ski.
♪
A baby.
[Baby coos]
They even paid a guy to sleep.
Ted.
He got paid to sleep.
That's it.
But apparently
they didn't have a need
for thoughtfully
designed newsletters,
eye-catching logos,
calendars that made
you look forward to each day.
Not to mention elegant
new signage.
In the desert sun ♪
Every step that you take
could be the final one ♪
[Boing!]
In the burning heat ♪
Awesome to finally
meet you, Jeff.
I want to start by thanking you
for seven months
of truly kick-ass work,
like this org chart you made
for the Comms department.
Look at this thing,
it's gangsta.
But it's also why we brought you
in this morning.
Sure,
whatever you guys need.
I've still got
the original files,
I'm more than happy to
No, Jeff.
We're actually making a few
tweaks to the structure.
[Clicking]
[Pop, buzz]
I'm not sure I understand.
We're putting your job
on hold.
But Uh, heh, okay.
It's just I
I traveled over 200 million
miles, so how can you
Well, I mean
[Stammers]
The thing is, I left
my entire life behind
so I could be
a graphic designer on Mars.
Mmmm hm.
Yeah, the bean counters
back on Earth don't get
why there's a graphic designer
up here.
And look, I do understand
where they're coming from.
Well, ha, I
It just
It seems like maybe
this could've been sorted out
before sending me to Mars.
I mean, y'know, what am I
supposed to do now?
We're gonna need you to trust
the process on this one, bud.
Brandon:
That's right.
Just hold tight while
we figure out next steps.
♪
Every setback is
an opportunity in disguise.
John Adams said that,
and I tend to believe it.
Also, I wasn't fired,
I was on hold.
And when I think about
everything I'd accomplished
over the past few months,
my value to this colony
was undeniable.
I was doing the best
graphic design of my career.
So now you're gonna shoot
bullets of fire ♪
I was living my passion.
And more importantly, I was
part of something bigger.
Every last one of us
up here for a reason.
The rugged pioneers
of interstellar travel.
The engineers who built
this colony from the dust up.
The influencers re-born
as ambassadors
for this new chapter
of civilization.
The geologists, botanists,
AI innovators,
biotech trailblazers.
Everyone had a purpose.
Mine was graphic design,
and nobody could ever
take that away from me.
♪
[Squeaking]
♪
[Dramatic music plays]
♪
[Clears throat]
[Chuckles]
Looking pretty good.
Thanks, Jeff.
Just wanted to let you guys
know that, uh
And I'm sure you might
have perhaps already heard
that I'm not officially part of
the team at the moment,
and, uh, I
That's true, but I am
still "open for business."
So, I just wanted to make
clear to you as team
I still think of you
as teammates
that if you need anything,
anything at all,
just say, y'know,
"Hey, Jeff. We need you."
Thank you, Jeff.
Really appreciate the offer.
[Marker squeaking]
Looks like you guys
are running low on markers.
Need a refill?
Thanks for the offer, Jeff.
I think we're okay.
I-I'm headed down to supplies,
I can just pick some up.
We're all set.
I'll just do it,
and then you can decide
whether you want 'em or not.
Your decision completely.
Would you mind leaving
right now?
Of course.
Okay, team,
talk to ya later.
♪
[Crunching]
Jeff: See, the thing is,
I still believe,
at the end of the day,
building a successful career
in the creative arts
is about tenacity.
Because if I had a nickel
for every supervisor
who didn't "get" it,
y'know what I mean?
I told you, Jeff.
One a day.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I just thought
since I didn't
come down here yesterday,
I could double up
and it would
Yeah, but you did, Jeff.
You did come down here yesterday.
And you were talking the same
shit you've been talking
since you got shit-canned.
[Electronic whirring]
Your markers.
Look, man. I
I know Mars.ly sucks, alright?
I get it.
You think I want to fill out
six forms every time some yuppie
needs a screw
to fix their glasses?
Oh.
That reminds me.
If you could have
any of those little
No, Jeff!
Get out of here.
Beat it.
Go get a fucking hobby.
Raya:
Oh, my God, yes.
He's like,
"Um, do you need markers?
Do you need other stuff?"
[Laughter]
I'm like, "Jeff,
I don't need anything, okay?
I don't need anything from you."
♪
Huh.
♪
[Sea gulls squawking]
And just like that,
I had purpose again.
♪
I'd always known something
was wrong at the office,
but I just didn't have
the vocabulary
to understand what it was
a complete lack of respect
for the core principles
of label theory.
Hey, Alejandro.
I know you're super busy,
so, look,
I'm not gonna take up
too much of your time.
But I have noticed
that some of the objects
in your area,
on your desk,
they seem out of place,
you understand?
Almost like they don't
know where they belong.
Are you familiar
with the concept
of label-driven
organizational analysis?
Jeff:
Dr. Frei was right,
"Labels pull back the curtain
on the theater of life."
I mean, two weeks ago,
if you'd have told me
I'd free up 50% of my day
by incorporating a label maker,
I'd say you were crazy.
Yeah, but Jeff, imagine someone
coming into your room
moving all your stuff around
and labeling everything
Yes, exactly!
I would love that!
Oh, and, before I forget,
there's this couple's quiz
I thought we could take.
I'm pretty sure I know
what labeling style you are,
but it'll be fun to see.
You gotta trust me
on this one, Hannah.
Jeff:
She was an account manager
fresh out of a long-term
relationship.
I was a newly minted graphic
designer in Creative Resources.
The rest?
Well, you can read about it
in the history books.
So, we all know carbon
footprints are a problem.
The thing is,
what are we supposed to do
about it actually?
Nothing, right?
Unless
we started by putting one foot
in front of the other.
This limited-edition drop
will generate
hundreds of millions
of impressions
for the most important issue
of our times.
Jeff: And in just
a short 13 months and 11 days,
she was going
to make the trip to Mars,
and our new life
together would begin.
♪
[Gasps]
Jeff?
Wow.
[Both inhale sharply]
♪
Jonathan: [Robotic voice]
Grande iced coconut milk
caramel macchiato
with extra shot incoming.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
What's happening, spaceman?
Listen, thanks again
for letting me
keep your partner
around a little longer.
Oh. H-Hey, Jonathan.
Yeah, no problem, man.
We're all rootin'
for you down here, buddy.
Well, I Yeah, no.
I appreciate that.
H-He's just getting you gifts,
Hannah?
Jonathan gets everyone
an ice blended
after Friday scrum, Jeff.
God!
Anyway, babe, I wish
I could keep chitchatting,
but we've got a karaoke brunch
with the client tomorrow
and I'm way behind
on the deck.
Well, don't wanna hold you up,
and, hey, that's one thing
you can look forward to
up here on Mars.
No more client brunches.
[Chuckles nervously]
[Laughter]
[Chuckles] 100%.
Okay,
I'll talk to you soon.
Love you so much.
Gotta go.
Oh, okay.
Well, talk to you later.
[Inhales deeply]
Okay.
Martin: You mind telling me
what the fuck's going on here?
I'm actually kind of
in the middle of something.
You burned through
three-quarters
of our label supplies, Jeff.
[Chuckling]
"Burned through"?
Sounds like you need a refresher
on label theory, my friend.
A biologist
almost drank a cup
of Fluoroantimonic Acid
because she thought
it was a ginger ale.
You stole labels from
the biology department,
the legal department,
and accounting.
All so you could, what,
label coffee pods?
That are already
labeled?
That's crazy, Jeff.
You're actually crazy.
Well, look I'm sorry that
you don't understand
the significance
of the project
Gimme that!
Hey! What the hell, man?!
Look around, dude.
It's over.
Well, Martin,
if you'll recall,
it was actually you
that told me
to get a hobby, okay?
And, really, I think
what's happening here
is you're realizing
change is hard.
It is. There's always
an adjustment period.
"Rome wasn't labeled
in a day", alright?
That's actually a joke
from the book,
but it's true, and
Oh, is it in the book?!
Ugh, look,
I know you're sad,
but quit being
fucking stupid.
♪
Jeff: I became a ghost,
invisible to my coworkers,
invisible to myself.
[Indistinct conversations]
One day I went to lunch
and I never came back.
[Clears throat]
Just wanted to say I'm, uh,
gonna be moving
my battle station elsewhere,
just for a bit,
so this isn't goodbye,
but if you do need
to locate me
Oh! David!
[Chuckling]
Ohhh!
That's when I started in
on the DVD box sets.
And the chips.
Sorcerer:
I am the light!
[Goblins screaming]
I have to say,
I didn't miss the office.
Not at all.
[Dramatic music playing]
[Chips rattling]
When I got lonely, I'd go see
Ted in the sleep tank.
♪
I'd look through that little
hatch and wonder
what kind of heartbreaking,
beautiful dreams
were running through
that head of his.
[Birds chirping,
horse neighs]
After a month,
Brandon and Darren
stopped replying to my e-mails.
[Keypad clacks]
♪
[Keypad clacking]
Fuck!
♪
Stupid! Stupid!
Stupid! Stupid!
[Computer ringing]
Hannah: Hello?
There she is!
Busiest woman at Mars.ly.
[Chuckles]
Yeah, busy
doing actual work.
Remember that?
[Clears throat]
[Chuckles nervously]
[Sighs]
Sorry I'm being mean.
I am just under
a lot of stress.
I just feel like
I need water,
I'm so parched!
Hey, it's okay.
Just get some water. Let's
We'll just
We'll connect later.
[Call disconnects]
Somehow, Hannah just kept
getting busier and busier.
Executive Leadership Committees,
brunches,
and of course yoga,
lots and lots of yoga.
♪
[Crunching]
♪
One afternoon,
I got an all-company e-mail.
[Cellphone vibrating]
There'd been a gravity accident,
and Carol from the
Dreamspiration department
had been decapitated.
By all accounts,
Carol was a terrific woman,
but as you can imagine,
the first thing
to cross my mind was
job opening.
♪
Poor Carol.
The woman, Carol.
Who knew her?
Yeah, good.
Yeah, glad to see it.
♪
[Door opens and closes]
Sad day, such a sad day.
You can't ever be ready
for moments like these.
Jeff, I'm actually
in the middle
of something real important
here, pal, so
One minute.
Just give me one minute.
So, obviously this is
a transitional moment
with the Carol stuff.
But that doesn't mean
the Dreamspiration department
can afford to hit pause.
I'd like to formally submit
my application
to be Mars.ly's
next Junior Dream Officer.
In a way,
it's the culmination
of everything
I've ever done.
Graphics. Design.
Symbols to create change.
Galvanizing
people around a cause.
A cause? A dream.
Flashback to me, age 10,
my grandmother's sewing room.
Now, she'd been collecting
embroidery patterns since
Jesus. Okay.
Enough. Enough.
You promised me
if anything opened up,
I'd be first in line.
I need this, Darren.
I need this so bad.
How bad?
11 out of 10.
[Chuckling] Whoa!
Big numbers!
Hey, if it were me,
I'd hire you this second.
I really would.
But Dreamspiration
is Reagan's show.
And she's a tough nut to crack,
heh, let me tell you.
But you know what, Jeff?
I have a really good
feeling about this.
Tell you what, why don't you
haul your buns down there,
show the boss lady
these charts and shit,
and we'll get this
all wrapped up, right?
Darren,
thank you so very much.
I will not let you down.
[Door opens]
Open or closed?
Closed, Jeff.
Jeff: I was on fire.
I just dropped the act
and was like,
"Hey, dude, I want
to make money for Mars.ly,
"you want to make money
for Mars.ly.
Let's make money, Dare."
So, wait, how does this relate
to the labels thing?
Oh, that that was just
a little detour.
A A valid one,
don't get me wrong.
Hm.
Dr. Frei is a genius,
but this this could
actually be "it."
Mm-hmm.
The perfect fit.
For me. For us.
You know, and let's not
forget Carol.
Sorry, Carol the dead lady?
Jeff: She's a lot more
than just a dead lady.
♪
[Mouse clicking]
♪
[Mouse clicks]
[Lights flicking]
[Printer whirring]
♪
You don't know me, but I just
needed to stop by to say
I'm sorry. About Carol.
She was
one of the good ones.
She was a warrior.
♪
What did you say
your name was?
Jeff.
And how well
did you know Carol?
I-It's interesting
you ask, it is,
because I was actually
wondering the same thing
like, how well
can another person
know someone else, really?
Because it can be
[Sobbing] I'm sorry.
This is devastating
in the best possible way.
God, she was so sexy
and messy and complicated
and powerful and strong!
♪
[Sighs]
Look at her. Ah!
And you just whipped
this up overnight?
God, what I wouldn't give to
have one of you around here.
Well, strangely enough,
that's actually
the reason I'm here
Ted: Nah, hey, hey.
It's crooked, bro.
Bring it Bring it up
on the left.
Oh, yeah,
it is crooked.
And when you're done
with that, you can, uh,
haul this trash
out of here, okay?
Thanks, bro.
Ted?
Oh, you know
each other?
That's so cool.
Nah, I don't know
this guy.
Well, a-actually,
when you were in the tank,
I used to
Used to what?
I, uh
I used to watch you.
That's fucked up,
my boy.
No, sorry, "watch"
is the wrong word.
It was more of a walk-by,
double-take sorta thing.
A double? Oh, naw, man.
Naw, naw.
Not a double like that!
It's
I'm I'm not
explaining it correctly.
So, sorry,
Ted, what
When did you wake up,
by the way?
And
And what are you
what are you doing here?
♪
Oh, no.
That's That's
Yeah, that's not
I
Yeah, after Carol
See, I
I talked to Darren.
He promised me
I mean
Hey,
I-I-I talked to Darren.
♪
Darren: Whoa!
Nice shot, Brandon.
Wish I was there
to see it in person.
[Chuckles]
[Whooshing]
♪
[Electronic whirring]
You gave Ted the job?!
Darren: Jesus, Jeff!
The guy who's been asleep
for seven months?
Hey, I'm trying to hit
a fucking golf ball here, okay?
You knew how badly
I needed this,
and you lied to my face!
Jeff,
out of my office now!
Everything okay in there,
Darren?
You said I should
talk to Reagan,
that it was her show.
I made a fucking poster!
Gimme that thing!
No, Jeff!
Do not touch my computer!
Stop!
Hey, Dare?
Let me grab the wheel here.
Jeff, let me be clear.
You deserve
any job you want.
The thing is,
this isn't about a job.
Now, you are
immensely talented.
You can admit that, right?
Uh, I guess?
Good.
Now it's my turn to get
something off my chest.
When we met the other day?
I was intimidated.
I said to my wife, "Katie,
I just met a real-life,
"dyed-in-the-wool game changer
"who scares the heck out
of me in a good way.
And his name is Jeff."
That's when a lightbulb
went off.
Big time.
Jeff: They told me there was
a spot for me in the tank.
♪
[Thunder crashing]
♪
Turns out they weren't asking.
We're not offering you
the sleep tank.
We're telling you
you're in the sleep tank.
It's It's just,
the idea of going in there.
I I don't know
if you've seen my file,
but I was trapped in a very
small closet as a child
and I'm I'm extremely
uncomfortable in small spaces.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
I-I mean, is
is this even legal?
We don't want you to do anything
you don't want to do.
If you decide
you're not interested
in the sleep tank opportunity,
we fully support you.
We just ask that you surrender
all Mars.ly property.
And unfortunately,
we won't be able to host you
in the residences any longer.
Full transparency
access to food
is gonna be
kind of a problem.
Brandon:
Just want to reiterate,
we're behind you
all the way here, bud.
[Computer ringing]
[Beep]
Hey, boo.
Not sure if you're back
from your retreat yet
or or what, but there's been
another little, uh, hitch.
And, uh, it turns out I'm going
away for a little while.
Well, more than a little
while actually.
And I'm sad we didn't
get a chance to talk.
But it's, uh it's okay.
Maybe you'll get this
and, y'know, call me back.
[Computer clicks]
♪
[Door closes]
♪
So, who we got on the chopping
block this morning?
Jeff Cooper.
And he is
a graphic designer.
Graphic designer.
Isn't that, uh, Latin
for "failed artist"?
[Laughs]
Ah, just kidding around, bud.
Bud?
Hey, bud?
Whoa!
What the hell?!
♪
I mean, try explaining gull-wing
doors to a Golden Retriever.
Right?
But the vet says
he'll be fine, so
[Alarm blaring]
Uh, one sec, Brandon.
Dare, what's that sound
I'm hearing?
In the desert sun ♪
Every step that you take
could be the final one ♪
♪
In the burning heat ♪
Hanging on
the edge of destruction ♪
♪
You can't stop the pain ♪
Of your children
crying out in your head ♪
Hey!
♪
They always said that
the living would envy the dead ♪
♪
So now you're gonna shoot
bullets of fire ♪
Don't want to fight ♪
[Both grunting]
But sometimes you've got to ♪
You're some soul survivor ♪
[Electricity crackles]
There's just one thing
you've got to know ♪
You've got ten more thousand
miles to go ♪
Because
you're one of the living ♪
[Breathes deeply]
And if we can't stick
together ♪
Can't stick together ♪
[Communicator ringing]
One of the living ♪
Who's gonna make it tonight? ♪
[Grunts]
[Ringing continues]
Hey, boo.
Hannah: But it's like,
is he the coolest guy
in the world? No.
Hello?
Is he
the most successful?
Obviously not.
Does he get along
with my friends?
No. They hate him.
H-Hello?
But what do they know?
You know? It's like
Hello?
God, what do I do?
Hey, all I can do
is listen.
Am I being mean?
No.
You're being you.
Look, it's clear
you love the guy.
We all do.
He's Jeff.
And at the same time,
he is "limited" in ways.
[Whooshing]
He's a baby soul.
Whereas you you've
been doing the work.
And I guess
the real question is
do you want to travel
nine million miles
to parent that baby soul?
Well, when you put it
that way
Don't get me wrong.
Mars is an amazing place
for the right person.
Would I go?
No. Never.
My home planet's California,
and my blood type's
Pacific-O.
But, hey,
that's just me.
[Chuckles]
This is so hard.
♪
F-F-Fuck!
[Glass crunches]
♪
[Sighs]
♪
[Crack]
♪
Warning!
Pressure leak detected.
[Gasping]
Ahhhhh!
♪