Firefly Lane (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Hello Yellow Brick Road
1
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[MAN.]
And we go in five [FAINTLY.]
four, three, two [ANNOUNCER.]
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Tully Hart! - [APPLAUSE.]
- Hello! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Welcome to The Girlfriend Hour, I am Tully Hart and I am so grateful to have you here with me.
I love you all! [CHEERING AND WHISTLING.]
- [MAN ON TV.]
June 20th, 1970 - My name is Barbie! - Hi, my name is Stacey.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- And this is my friend, Dolly.
- [KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
[MAN ON TV.]
in the financial district of downtown Seattle.
[SIGHS.]
- Dorothy.
- It's Cloud now.
[WOMAN ON TV.]
Thank you, Charles, and good morning, Seattle.
My little Tallulah Rose.
Mama? Yeah! [LAUGHS.]
I'll go make up the guest room.
You can go lay down, sober up.
You think I'm on drugs? I'm with my kid for the first time in four years.
Love is the ultimate high.
You want to come live with Mom again? - Yeah? Let's go! - My stuff! You don't need that materialistic shit, Tallulah.
- Dorothy - I'm her mother.
She belongs with me.
- Grandma! - Get a lawyer if you want.
I'm taking my kid.
Tully! Tully, wait! You know my phone number and address, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[TULLY.]
Yes.
If you should get scared, if you should need anything, you call me, right? - You just call.
- [TULLY.]
Mm-hmm.
This is my daughter, Tallulah.
- Far out.
- [CLOUD CHUCKLES.]
You'll call me, right? [VAN ENGINE STARTS.]
Wait, please.
- Please.
Tully! - Bye, Grandma! [ALL CHANTING.]
Love not war! Love not war! Love not war! Love not war! Love not war! [PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Love not war! Love not war! [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
Love not war! Love not war! [TULLY.]
Mom! Where are you? Mom! Mom! Mom? [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[INAUDIBLE.]
[CRYING.]
Mom! [GASPS.]
- Where are you? - [CHANTING FADES.]
[SOBS.]
Mom.
[SOBS.]
[CHANTING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE.]
[LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
[RAIN FALLING.]
Oh, Tully.
[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
I hate her! If I could save time in a bottle [GRANDMOTHER.]
Tully.
[CLOUD.]
Woo! Wow, Tallulah, you got big.
[CHUCKLES.]
Your mother thought that it might be a good idea to try living Get your stuff.
You're coming to live with me now.
If I could make days last forever [WOMAN.]
Kate, get ready for school! If words could make wishes come true I'd save every day like a treasure And then Again, I'd spend them with you But there never seems To be enough time To do the things you want to do Once you find them I've looked around enough to know You're the one I want to go Through time with [WOMAN.]
Mularkey family school bus leaving the station in ten minutes.
I'll take the actual bus, thanks.
Not the dork-mobile.
Every vehicle you're in is a dork-mobile.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV.]
There's someone moving in across the street.
Oh.
Maybe they'll have a girl your age.
- It'd be nice for you to have a friend.
- I have friends.
No, you had friends.
Until they all got popular and dropped you.
[MRS.
MULARKEY.]
You can make new friends.
If you made an effort you would be amazed - at how quickly people just start show - [DOOR SLAMS.]
["THOUSAND WATT WORK-OUT" BY JOHN MORAN PLAYING.]
[VAN ENGINE SPUTTERING.]
Looking like a fisherman I'm dropping a line in the sea [MUSIC STOPS.]
[DOG BARKING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
I can't believe we're doing another makeover show.
There's a war on.
Oh, I love the makeover shows.
[SIGHS.]
I used to be a journalist.
Hi, I'm Tully Hart, and today on The Girlfriend Hour, Darcy Coldwater was a mom who thought she could do it all.
After working a full shift at her stressful job as a dental hygienist, and staying up all night to sew a costume for her daughter's pageant, Darcy collapsed at the supermarket buying a Christmas ham.
The fast-paced world of 2003 almost killed her.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- But it was the wake-up call Don't call me during my special time.
Should I get my eyes done? Tell the truth.
I look tired.
"Collapsing while buying a ham" tired, or just, like, regular tired? I look 40.
Oh, then you're winning, 'cause you're actually 43.
[LAUGHS.]
Why are you such a bitch? Because sometimes you're a hard person to feel sorry for.
Our ratings are down in all demographics.
I blame the eyes.
- Shit.
You worried? - We'll pull it together in sweeps.
I've got an exclusive with that woman who fed her murdered husband to their cat.
Well, that sounds When's that on? Hey, I feel like being bad.
Let's sneak out and get a drink, my treat.
I can't.
I'm I'm busy.
Doing what, laundry? No, I, um actually have an interview.
With who? Babysitter? Housekeeper? Divorce lawyer? Just reschedule it.
I'm interviewing for a job, Tully.
What are you talking about? I'm interviewing for assistant editor at Seattle Digest.
What? I know them! I can get you in there! I don't want to get a job because I have a famous friend, I wanna get it because I'm just that good.
You should've at least told me in advance so I could style you.
I got a pantsuit at Frock Farm.
There's a Frock Farm? Oh, dear God.
- [LINE BEEPS.]
- Hang on, Tully.
- Hello? - [SCHOOL BELL RINGING.]
Coach Aaron spotted her sneaking in a window in the locker room.
- She skipped four classes.
- What? Marah will be serving a two-day in-school suspension - starting Tuesday.
- Wait.
So the consequence for missing class is missing class? - Marah! Christ, enough! I'm sorry - What? It doesn't make any sense! Your behavior doesn't make any sense.
I mean, you won the attendance award last year.
She won the attendance award.
Unfortunately, what we're looking at is a bit of a pattern.
Marah's grades are slipping.
Is there something happening at home? She's getting divorced from my dad.
Marah, please.
Uh - You are.
It's true.
- Yeah, that's not anyone else's [PRINCIPAL.]
Often we act out when we're vulnerable and in pain.
I could refer a counselor for the family.
Thank you.
Just drop me off at Emma's.
[SCOFFING.]
Oh, hell no, you're obviously grounded.
But we have plans.
I was supposed to meet her at 3:15.
It's 3:30.
It's 3:30? - Yeah.
- Oh, shit! - Marah, run! - Ugh.
So embarrassing! [MARAH GROANS.]
- [KATE.]
Run! - [MARAH.]
Why? [KATE.]
Ugh! Get in the car! - I'm coming! - [ENGINE STARTS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
[PANTING.]
Kate Mularkey for Kimber Watts.
Your appointment was at three o'clock.
Yeah.
I had a small emergency.
Um Do you think there's any chance you could slide me in? You'll have to wait until the other applicants are done.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's great.
Thank you so much.
I'll wait.
Why do you even want this job? You haven't worked in, like, a thousand years.
Yet, it feels like I haven't stopped working in the last 14.
Ha-ha-ha.
Hilarious.
I'm gonna wait in the car.
Wait.
How do I look? The same as you always look.
Shit.
[SIGHS.]
The future of journalism are women.
The future of journalism is women.
Women are the future of journalism.
I am the future of journalism.
And the future is looking bright.
[EXHALES.]
[ELEVATOR DINGS.]
The real operation is in Tacoma.
We're just their little Seattle bureau, but it's TV news, Kate.
- [KATE CHUCKLING.]
- And I work here.
And you will too.
Women are the future of journalism, and the future is looking bright.
Okay.
Don't say that in your interview.
Oh, sure Yeah, sure.
I'm It's stupid.
Just be yourself.
He's gonna love you.
This is just the first step.
You're going to be producing.
I'm going to be on air, eventually.
Oh, I'm just so excited that I got an interview.
Yeah, totally.
So, come meet the gang.
Our reporter, Carol Mansour, she is at a city council meeting.
I know who Carol is, you've mentioned her a billion times.
- Oh, that's Mutt.
- Toilet's backed up again.
Well, did you call the building manager? Yeah.
He says poop in the one downstairs.
[SIGHS.]
Well, I told you it was glamorous.
[KATE LAUGHS.]
Ah.
There's my boss, Johnny.
Johnny come meet Kate.
Come.
["MAGIC MAN" BY HEART PLAYING.]
"Come on home, girl" He said with a smile "I cast my spell of love on you A woman from a child" But try, try, try to understand He's a magic man [MUSIC FADES.]
Guys, Goddamn it.
Can you wait? The famous Kate.
I've heard many, many, many stories.
Hi.
I'm Johnny Ryan.
Kate.
There's not very much on my résumé, but I'm eager and I'm a very hard worker Résumé? What for? The job? Job? [SCOFFS.]
Oh, for God's sake.
- You said we needed help around here.
- [JOHNNY.]
No.
I said you needed to help around here.
She can do all the filing, she can answer the phones, basically everything I suck at.
- She's, like, superhuman.
- Tully.
- There's protocol.
- Can't believe this.
- This isn't the way There's a system.
- She's cheap.
If you don't hire her, your head's further up your ass then I thought.
Okay, well, still your boss.
- So check yourself.
- [KATE.]
Mr.
Ryan, I'm sorry.
I did not realize this was an ambush.
- I'm not Mr.
Ryan.
- [TULLY.]
It's a surprise.
It is an ambush.
The kid's right - That's exactly what it is! - You said we'd hire - Hold on! - Don't go.
Worst job in TV news.
The pay's shit, your co-workers have terrible hygiene.
I smell delightful.
Place is overrun by ants.
Toilet's backed up.
[CHUCKLES.]
Who the hell can say no to Tully Hart? If you want the job, Kate Mularkey it's yours.
Thank you.
Oh it was in my pocket.
Oh, my God, you worked at KPOC? I used to watch Tully Hart when I was a kid.
Did you know her? - Uh, yeah.
I, um - I have actually met her a few times.
She is [EXHALES.]
fantastic.
[CHUCKLES.]
Even though she never returns my calls.
Oh, uh, I see there's a gap the past few dozen years.
I'm ready to get back in the game.
Mmm [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
The business has changed a lot since the '80s.
[CHUCKLES.]
Some things don't change.
I'm a skilled editor and I've done a lot of writing myself.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
This isn't an editing job.
Oh, assistant editor.
Assistant to the editor.
Me.
Oh.
The thing is, it's 2003 and I need someone who's in the mix, culturally-speaking.
Oh, I'm in the mix.
I mean, I'm I'm steeped.
Like, Myspace and, um Napster.
I know all the words to "In Da Club.
" I'm just not sure it's the right fit.
I can get you Tully Hart.
All-access interview.
You can? [EXHALES.]
Yeah, um, she's my best friend.
I can get you whatever you need.
[WATER RUNNING.]
[SIGHS.]
[KATE.]
Hey, want a glass of wine, Tull? Hell yes.
[CLINKS.]
So, I think I got the job.
[TULLY.]
Mmm.
Seriously? Nice! Assistant editor.
Sort of.
My boss's name is Kimber, like she's 12.
- Ugh.
Kimber Watts? - Yeah.
She said she knew you.
Yeah, I've met her, at a few parties.
She's - You know what? You can handle it.
- Oh, God.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, like, Becky-9th-grade level of crazy we're talking for Kimber? Or? [TULLY.]
Oh, girl, worse.
[KATE LAUGHING.]
Shit.
So what was Marah even skipping class for? Who knows? She doesn't talk to me about anything right now.
She just needs some time with her godmother.
[KATE.]
You know, I don't think anyone can get through to her right now.
She's going off the rails and it's all my fault.
I don't think it's your fault.
I ripped her family apart, okay? Would you stop it? Stop.
It's not your fault.
Doesn't matter whose fault it is, it's always the kid who suffers.
Oh, come on.
My mother was the shittiest mom in the entire world.
- [LAUGHS.]
- And look how I turned out.
Marah's got the best mom in the entire world.
She's gonna be fine.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
I'm not so sure I'm going to be fine.
- Upside? - [SIGHS.]
You've been with the same man and the same penis for 15 years.
Just think of all the new penises you're about to meet.
Ugh, God.
That sounds exhausting and terrifying.
[LAUGHS.]
You're going to be okay.
- Better than okay.
- [SNIFFLES.]
I promise.
[WITH FRENCH ACCENT.]
Would vous like to try ze escargot, mademoiselle? Mmm, mais non, Madam! Hmm.
What about a sip of the delicious champagne? [NORMAL.]
One sip.
Don't tell your mom.
Ooh.
Oui oui! So bubbly! [LAUGHS.]
Now that we have a secret you can tell me where you went when you cut class the other day.
Nowhere.
I sat by a tree.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
I get you.
You're stubborn, pigheaded, and rebellious, just like me.
There's nothing you can tell me that I haven't heard before, or done before, most likely.
There's nothing I can tell you that you're not gonna tell my mom.
Your mom? Who's that? I barely know her.
You can trust me, Marah, I promise.
- I went to Planned Parenthood.
- [LOW.]
Oh, my God.
Are you pregnant? What? No.
No, I haven't even had sex.
I just wanted to get on the pill.
Except you need an adult to sign the form.
Why would you take the pill if you're not having sex? [MARAH.]
Everyone's on it.
It's practically a prerequisite for high school.
- You're not in high school.
- I will be in a few months.
- What does your mom say about this? - She'll just say no.
- She's all about ruining me.
- Objection, Your Honor.
- You could sign it, though.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I could, but I won't.
What if I promise I'll tell her? - Eventually.
- When? If I'm ever thinking about having sex, then I'll tell her.
I swear.
[WOMEN GIGGLING.]
[WOMAN 1.]
It is you! Oh! That episode that you did last year on finding your inner voice changed my life.
Oh, thank you.
- Would you sign my receipt? - [TULLY.]
I sure will.
[WOMAN 2.]
You look even better in person! - Oh, stop.
- [WOMAN 1.]
We just love you.
Can I have a hug? Of course.
I love your top.
Thank you for stopping by, ladies.
It means a lot to me.
- Have a great day.
- [BOTH.]
Thank you! [SIGHS.]
My mom said you were always famous, even before you were really famous.
Your mom exaggerates.
Well, that's an understatement.
She doesn't get anything.
You'd be surprised what your mom gets.
- Then how come she's always such a bitch? - Hey! That is my best friend you're talking about.
And your mother is not a bitch.
She is the kindest person I've ever met.
Even at 14 she was kind.
Nobody's kind at 14.
That's why I was drawn to her.
I knew instantly she was special.
["SHE TURNS MY RADIO ON" BY JIM FORD.]
Every morning about dawn Sun shines through my window And a new day is born Every evening about sundown My whole world changes, Lord When she comes around She comes and turns my radio on Gives me all-day music I got all-night song I'm gonna sing it 'Til the cows come home Look what you went and did, honey You turned my radio on [DISTORTED CHATTERING.]
[SPITS.]
- [SPLATS.]
- [ALL LAUGH.]
Katie! I made Hamburger Helper for the new neighbors.
I've got homework, just send Sean.
[UTENSIL CLATTERS.]
Can I say something without you jumping all over me? [HOCKEY ANNOUNCER TALKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV.]
Life is hard sometimes, even at 14.
Well, especially at 14.
Yeah, no shit.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear that word.
It's going to be easy, because I will never hear it again, right? I know that you're having a hard time right now.
But it's never any good to just sit around waiting for someone or something to come and change your life.
I mean, that's why women like Gloria Steinem, they're burning their bras and they're marching on Washington.
Somebody say something about bras? [FATHER.]
Sean.
Hi, Mrs.
M.
- Hey, Kate.
- Hi, Robbie.
- Hope you're staying for dinner.
- Definitely.
I need to carbo load.
What you studying Kate? Uh it's the War of 1812.
Oh, yeah.
I dig it.
When was it again? [LAUGHS.]
Ah.
Yeah.
[GIGGLES.]
Come on, Robbie, let's get back upstairs.
Catch you later, Katie-Pie.
Bye.
[MRS.
MULARKEY.]
Casserole isn't getting any warmer.
[PSYCHEDELIC ROCK PLAYING ON STEREO.]
[KNOCKING.]
And all the love I gave you - Hi.
- Hi.
My mom made you guys this casserole.
You look like you came out of an encyclopedia.
[KATE.]
Thank you? By the shifting of the sand Was that your mom? She has cancer.
I'm so sorry.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow, I wish my mom would let me eat all that stuff.
She doesn't care if you smoke? She's too sick to care.
- Drag? - Uh No.
Thanks.
[SCOFFS.]
Thought so.
Well, you probably have to get home for dinner.
Okay.
Bye-bye, girl with the cool-neighbor attitude.
Thanks for the food.
- I can't cook and Cloud is cooked, so - Cloud? It's my mom's name, currently.
Oh, well bye.
[CHUCKLES.]
[OWL HOOTING.]
Hey.
What's your name? Oh, uh, Kate.
Kate Mularkey.
[LAUGHS.]
Malarkey? Like, bullshit? - Oh, hey, I didn't mean to make fun.
- Whatever.
Fine, be a bitch, why don't you? Just that empty room on the other side there, huh? Look, why don't we take turns, that way neither one of us will get too tired.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING ON TV.]
Hello? Yeah, this is Sergeant Mallory.
[LAUGHING.]
I love Carol Burnett, my God, she's so good! I want to be like Carol.
[SKETCH CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
Oh, my God.
Can I help you? Yeah.
Hi.
Yes.
I am, um, going to an event, and I just was looking for something to, um kind of, like, deal with this whole area, like, knees to boobs? You want Spanx? What is Spanx? They're amazing.
They even have a little slot for you to pee through.
Let me go see if we have your size.
Kate! - Travis! Hi.
- Hey! I was over in men's and I thought, "I know the back of that head.
" Ah.
Great! - Oh, should I have not come over? Or? - What? Oh.
Um, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't be - So are you going to the gala? - Yeah.
You gotta support the school, you know.
You? Oh, well, I'm on the committee.
Of course.
I think I knew that.
Right.
Are you bringing anyone? No.
You? No, um, but, um should be fun.
There's going to be a DJ this year.
- Songs of '70s! - Oh, okay.
Well, then I'm definitely going.
I can't deprive the other parents of my sweet disco moves.
[LAUGHS, SNORTS.]
[TRAVIS CHUCKLES.]
Anyway, I'm glad we ran into each other.
It's been weird not seeing you.
Yeah.
You look good, Kate.
Here you go, ma'am.
Extra tummy control, plus these reduce thigh chafing.
These are for my mother.
She's been curious.
And I will take these for me.
So [TULLY.]
You did not pick up the thong.
Oh, I very much did.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, that is one way to flirt up your PTA crush.
Ugh.
And the worst part is he looked so [GROANS.]
And I looked so I feel like you need me.
Why don't I come over for dinner? Marah's eating in her room.
She's mad at me.
I just ate my dinner over the sink like an animal.
Well, I could bring a bottle of wine.
We can watch a movie.
Oh, Love Story! Ugh.
I'd just fall asleep.
But what are you doing next Saturday? You want to be my date to a super cool middle-school fundraiser? I would love to, but I am headed down to LA for a movie premiere.
George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Blah, blah, boring, whatever.
That sounds awful.
Wanna trade lives? Well, I'll come over now.
Come on, we'll have a slumber party.
- Please? - I wish.
I should go check on Marah.
- I'll call you tomorrow, okay? - 'Kay.
[PHONE BEEPS OFF.]
- [BIRDS CALLING.]
- [DISTANT SIRENS WAILING.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
[UPBEAT FUNK MUSIC PLAYING.]
[BARTENDER.]
Here's your martini.
- I know who you are.
- I'm so relieved.
- My name's Larry.
- Great.
Can I just say you are way hotter in person? Like, way.
That's not really compliment, Larry.
Oh, it is very much a compliment.
- You waiting for somebody? - No.
May I join you? No.
Come on, Tully Hart.
Take a chance.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know what, Larry? That is good advice.
I think I will.
So Hey there.
[HEAVY BREATHING.]
[TULLY MOANS LOUDLY.]
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [SIGHS.]
- Ah.
- [PANTING.]
Wow.
We didn't even make it to the bedroom there.
Not a problem.
I needed that.
Um So I'm Max, by the way.
[LAUGHS.]
I didn't ask.
[MAX CHUCKLES.]
- [SIGHS.]
- You know, I used to, uh I used to watch you on the news when I was a kid.
Yeah, I used to I used to have a big old crush.
It's always nice to meet a fan.
Um, that was, uh That was fun.
You do this often? 'Cause 'cause I don't.
Why don't I believe you? No, I'm serious.
I just, uh I got divorced last year.
How old are you? I'm 29.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
Um Actually you're only the fourth person I've slept with.
- Ever? - Uh-huh.
Yeah.
- Bullshit.
- No, no, no.
I'm a I'm a serial monogamist, I guess.
I do not understand your generation.
Um Well, I I could explain it to you, if you want, over dinner.
How's your Saturday looking? I don't do second dates.
Oh, so you consider this a first date? Well, we could just have dessert right now.
The only thing I like after midnight is a box of warm fresh, Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Got any on you? You know, I usually do, but, um I mean, I could just go get some, come right back.
[BEEPS.]
- [ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS.]
- Goodbye, Max.
Tully Hart.
You have a good night.
[CLATTERS.]
Mom, what's going on? Marah, why are you up? The noise.
Why are you up? I'm starting that new job on Monday, and I was just looking for this.
A hideous '80s briefcase.
It's a satchel.
Grandma gave it to me, my first job, and I was just hoping it would bring me some luck.
[EXHALES.]
You're okay with me working, right? Whatever.
I don't care.
Just, who's gonna pick me up from school? Grandma sometimes, or you can take the bus.
I mean, you hate it when I pick you up.
You make me park down a block.
I know, I just I think maybe you should wait.
'Cause what if Dad changes his mind, and you guys make up and he moves back in? Oh, baby, come here.
I don't know what's gonna happen with me and your dad, but you know that we both love you so much and we are always a family, no matter what, okay? [MARAH SIGHS.]
Good night, sweetie.
[SIGHS.]
["YOU'RE THE ONE" BY NIKKI & THE CORVETTES PLAYING.]
- You got that kind of look, baby - Baby You got that something That makes me crazy - You got me going, oh, baby - Baby I want your lovin' so don't say maybe When you're holding me so tight Don't you know that you feel all right - You're the one - You're the one - Baby, you're the one - You're the one - You're the one - You're the one Baby, you're the one - Come in a little closer now, baby - Baby Just keep it moving And don't get lazy It's getting so hot, baby [KNOCKS.]
My head is spinning And it's too hot and crazy When you're holding me so tight Don't you know that you feel all right You're the one, you're the one [CLEARS THROAT.]
[SONG ENDS.]
- Kate.
- Hi.
- Sorry, I didn't see you there.
- Oh, I am here.
And I brought food.
You bought me lunch? Oh, well, Mutt and Carol are off interviewing that Bill Gates guy and then Tully decided to tag along and I figured maybe you might be hungry.
Oh, it just keeps coming.
Okay.
Oh.
Just in case, for later.
Soup, huh? You're one of those.
A soup liker? Guilty.
[LAUGHS.]
- A caretaker.
- Oh.
- Sit down, come on, eat some of this.
- I already ate.
Oh, I meant to say - Great job with the filing system.
- Oh.
- Turned it into an actual system.
- [LAUGHS.]
Place is starting to feel like a real office.
And you are an excellent copy editor.
Tully was right, you're a dynamo.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Well, thanks.
So, um, do you think they'll get a good story at Microsoft? Well, there's a civil war going on in Lebanon.
Meanwhile, we're dicking around with bullshit soft news.
This isn't journalism.
This is where journalism goes to die.
[SIGHS.]
I mean, it's a great place to start, it's just a bad place to end up.
[INHALES.]
Oh.
Yeah.
Tully said you used to be a war correspondent.
- Million years ago, yeah.
- Well, why did you stop? Because sometimes life kicks the shit out of you, Mularkey.
I'm sorry.
I I didn't I just don't really like to, uh, talk about it.
Yeah, no, sure.
I get it.
I won't Um, we could talk about something else.
Um, sports? You like sports? No.
[CHUCKLES.]
You? You're sweet.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
Ah Maybe too sweet for the news.
Yeah, I'm actually not that sweet.
- Okay, Mularkey.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [MAN.]
Just the Pepto and the cigarettes? - Yeah.
[NEWSCASTER ON RADIO.]
pressure for Nixon to resign is mounting - That's $1.
19.
- from the investigation surfaces - I thought you didn't smoke.
- Oh, they're for my mom.
Oh, right.
- I'll take a pack too, please.
- I can't sell you cigarettes.
Oh, they're for my mom.
Well, I don't know who your mom is.
I'm sorry.
Shh.
- What are you doing? - You know the meaning of "shh"? [GRUNTS.]
- Are you okay? - What's going on back here? Oh, I fell down, sir.
I'm a klutz.
There something you want to tell me, Kate Mularkey? No, sir.
She's a big klutz.
Big.
All right.
Bye, then.
[KATE.]
Bye.
[SHOPKEEPERS BELL JINGLES.]
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
- Oh, you're full of surprises, Mularkey! - [GIGGLES.]
- Thanks for not ratting me out.
- [KATE.]
Sure.
[TULLY.]
What? Do you still hate me? No, I never hated you.
Hey, hot girl, come talk to us.
Why should I if you don't ask nice? - Sassy, I like that.
- [BOY LAUGHING.]
I bet you he follows us.
- Why are boys so simple? - They don't seem simple to me.
Hot girl! Don't make me chase you.
[TULLY.]
Too late.
I could get in trouble for talking to you.
Hey, I'm gonna stay and talk to Pat.
Right.
Pat.
See you, Mularkey.
Oh, right.
Bye.
You have my attention.
Come to a party with me on Friday.
I could make that work.
Pick you up at ten.
Unless that's past your curfew.
17 Firefly Lane, and I don't have a curfew.
- [SNAPS.]
- [GROANS SOFTLY.]
I can't do it.
I can't spend the night drinking bad pinot grigio with passive-aggressive moms.
I've seen you run circles around those moms.
You got this.
Easy for you to say.
You're taking a private jet to meet Clooney.
[CHUCKLES.]
Just look out your window, you idiot.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
What are you doing? [CHUCKLES.]
Tonight, you are Cinderella and I am your prince.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
[GIGGLES.]
[KATE.]
I cannot believe you picked me over Clooney.
Ha! Me neither.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Admit it, I look like the "before" in one of your makeover shows.
This dress is a metaphor for everything that's wrong in my life.
Stop it.
You're fine.
You don't get it.
You don't know what it's like to fail.
You succeed at everything you try.
You are so much braver than me.
Your family, that is the real accomplishment.
I will never have that.
I was too scared to even try.
I'm not brave.
Now I'm starting over alone and it sucks.
You're not alone, babe.
You got me.
In fact [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
- Give me a second.
- [LAUGHING.]
What are you doing, Tully? All right, girl, take that off.
I do not have the boobs for that dress.
Just put it on, bitch.
Trust me.
[KATE.]
You're insane.
- Oh, those are appealing.
- [LAUGHS.]
Right? Should I just go in this? Really turn some heads? [LAUGHS.]
[ZIPS.]
It's it's too much.
It's perfect.
It's perfect.
[OWL HOOTING.]
Just one more.
Hey, uh new girl, right? Yeah, I don't know what you think you just saw My name's Tully, and I didn't see anything.
[DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS.]
Well, um You know, my mom, she, uh she freaks out if I'm late.
So, uh Yeah.
Moms.
They're hard.
[HORSE NICKERS.]
Hey, boy, how you doing? She's a girl.
Her name's Sweet Pea.
You want to feed her? No, I have somebody coming to pick me up, I can't get horse slime on me.
[CAR TIRES SQUEAL.]
[LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
Come on! We'll miss the keg! Uh, see you, Mularkey.
Out driving in the rain [ENGINE REVS.]
[TULLY.]
Coming to you live from the Seattle Zoo, the scene of this afternoon's horrific elephant trampling.
[LAUGHS.]
This is Tallulah Hart.
This is Tully Hart.
This is Terry Hart.
No, that's No.
Don't like that.
So did Johnny say that he'd put you on? Not exactly.
He says I'm still too green.
I need more newsroom experience, and then he started mumbling about some debt crisis in Latin America.
Blah, blah, blah.
[PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
So, like, is his life the news, or is he married, or is, like single or? - Miss Mularkey - [LAUGHS.]
How long have you been wanting to do the deed with the man who signs your paychecks? Stop it! I don't want to do any deeds! I get it.
I get it.
Super handsome, mind of a cynic, heart of a dreamer type.
It's sexy.
I've thought about it.
Wait, you have? Yeah, but Johnny's the boss.
Bad idea, plus now that I know you're interested [LAUGHS.]
No, it is not like that.
I'm not I mean, like, he's interesting, but I'm not interested.
I just admire him in like a you know, like a mentor-mentee kind of way.
The kind of mentor who teaches the mentee what it means to be a woman? - [LAUGHS.]
- [SNORTS.]
Ah! I got a snort! [BOTH LAUGH.]
I do not have a crush on Johnny Ryan.
- Okay? I swear.
- Okay.
Okay.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Mm.
There's nothing like the musty scent of a junior high school gym.
So much better than Clooney.
Stop it.
I love it.
There is no other place I would rather be.
- [KATE.]
Thank you.
- Kate! - Hey! - Hey.
Wow, you look fantastic.
Thank you.
Um, this is my best friend, Tully Holy shit, Tully Hart.
Indeed.
Hi, I'm Travis.
My daughter loves your show.
We tape it and watch it every day after school.
Okay, I tape it.
I'm the fan.
I love you - Thank you.
- Your show.
[TRAVIS CHUCKLES.]
It's nice to meet you, Travis.
Kate, the silent auction, it's a mess.
We need your help.
I am on it.
Here.
Got you.
[JOHNNY.]
Sure you made the Federal Express cut off? Yes for the 14th time.
I'm gonna drive the tape to Tacoma myself next time.
Kate.
Kate, Kate, Kate.
Mmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [JOHNNY.]
What would I do without you? - What would you do? You guys are the best.
Do you know that? I know you're drunk.
I'm not.
["TAINTED LOVE" BY SOFT CELL PLAYING.]
- Come on, let's dance! - Oh, love it! Sometimes I feel I've got to run away I've got to get away From the pain you drive Into the heart of me The love we share seems to go nowhere And I've lost my light For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living Oh, tainted love Whoa, tainted love Now I know I've got to run away I've got to get away You don't really want any more from me To make things right You need someone to hold you tight And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you [SONG FADES.]
["GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD" BY ELTON JOHN PLAYING.]
Thanks a lot.
Bye.
When are you going to land? [CELL PHONE RINGING.]
I should have listened to my old man [HANGS UP.]
You know you can't hold me forever - Hey, this is Kate.
Leave a message.
- Hey, did you leave? Call me.
This boy's too young to be singing The blues So goodbye yellow brick road Where the dogs of society howl You can't plant me in your penthouse I'm going back to my plow Back to the howling old owl In the woods Hunting the horny back toad Oh, I've finally decided My future lies Beyond the yellow brick road Mmm.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Well, well, well, if it isn't the late-night doughnut fairy.
Came back early from New York.
I was going to go to the fundraiser, but I just I couldn't face it.
Go home to Kate and your daughter.
They miss you.
I made a mistake, Tully.
Think maybe I've made a lot of mistakes.
Yeah, going to New York was a huge mistake, but Kate'll forgive you.
Not New York, everything.
- [SIGHS.]
- My whole life, it's all wrong.
- Go home to your wife, Johnny.
- I don't have a wife.
Can I just Can I stay with you tonight? I need you, Tully.
Please.
[SONG ENDS.]
[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[MAN.]
And we go in five [FAINTLY.]
four, three, two [ANNOUNCER.]
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Tully Hart! - [APPLAUSE.]
- Hello! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Welcome to The Girlfriend Hour, I am Tully Hart and I am so grateful to have you here with me.
I love you all! [CHEERING AND WHISTLING.]
- [MAN ON TV.]
June 20th, 1970 - My name is Barbie! - Hi, my name is Stacey.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- And this is my friend, Dolly.
- [KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
[MAN ON TV.]
in the financial district of downtown Seattle.
[SIGHS.]
- Dorothy.
- It's Cloud now.
[WOMAN ON TV.]
Thank you, Charles, and good morning, Seattle.
My little Tallulah Rose.
Mama? Yeah! [LAUGHS.]
I'll go make up the guest room.
You can go lay down, sober up.
You think I'm on drugs? I'm with my kid for the first time in four years.
Love is the ultimate high.
You want to come live with Mom again? - Yeah? Let's go! - My stuff! You don't need that materialistic shit, Tallulah.
- Dorothy - I'm her mother.
She belongs with me.
- Grandma! - Get a lawyer if you want.
I'm taking my kid.
Tully! Tully, wait! You know my phone number and address, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[TULLY.]
Yes.
If you should get scared, if you should need anything, you call me, right? - You just call.
- [TULLY.]
Mm-hmm.
This is my daughter, Tallulah.
- Far out.
- [CLOUD CHUCKLES.]
You'll call me, right? [VAN ENGINE STARTS.]
Wait, please.
- Please.
Tully! - Bye, Grandma! [ALL CHANTING.]
Love not war! Love not war! Love not war! Love not war! Love not war! [PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Love not war! Love not war! [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
Love not war! Love not war! [TULLY.]
Mom! Where are you? Mom! Mom! Mom? [MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[INAUDIBLE.]
[CRYING.]
Mom! [GASPS.]
- Where are you? - [CHANTING FADES.]
[SOBS.]
Mom.
[SOBS.]
[CHANTING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE.]
[LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
[RAIN FALLING.]
Oh, Tully.
[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
I hate her! If I could save time in a bottle [GRANDMOTHER.]
Tully.
[CLOUD.]
Woo! Wow, Tallulah, you got big.
[CHUCKLES.]
Your mother thought that it might be a good idea to try living Get your stuff.
You're coming to live with me now.
If I could make days last forever [WOMAN.]
Kate, get ready for school! If words could make wishes come true I'd save every day like a treasure And then Again, I'd spend them with you But there never seems To be enough time To do the things you want to do Once you find them I've looked around enough to know You're the one I want to go Through time with [WOMAN.]
Mularkey family school bus leaving the station in ten minutes.
I'll take the actual bus, thanks.
Not the dork-mobile.
Every vehicle you're in is a dork-mobile.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV.]
There's someone moving in across the street.
Oh.
Maybe they'll have a girl your age.
- It'd be nice for you to have a friend.
- I have friends.
No, you had friends.
Until they all got popular and dropped you.
[MRS.
MULARKEY.]
You can make new friends.
If you made an effort you would be amazed - at how quickly people just start show - [DOOR SLAMS.]
["THOUSAND WATT WORK-OUT" BY JOHN MORAN PLAYING.]
[VAN ENGINE SPUTTERING.]
Looking like a fisherman I'm dropping a line in the sea [MUSIC STOPS.]
[DOG BARKING.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
I can't believe we're doing another makeover show.
There's a war on.
Oh, I love the makeover shows.
[SIGHS.]
I used to be a journalist.
Hi, I'm Tully Hart, and today on The Girlfriend Hour, Darcy Coldwater was a mom who thought she could do it all.
After working a full shift at her stressful job as a dental hygienist, and staying up all night to sew a costume for her daughter's pageant, Darcy collapsed at the supermarket buying a Christmas ham.
The fast-paced world of 2003 almost killed her.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- But it was the wake-up call Don't call me during my special time.
Should I get my eyes done? Tell the truth.
I look tired.
"Collapsing while buying a ham" tired, or just, like, regular tired? I look 40.
Oh, then you're winning, 'cause you're actually 43.
[LAUGHS.]
Why are you such a bitch? Because sometimes you're a hard person to feel sorry for.
Our ratings are down in all demographics.
I blame the eyes.
- Shit.
You worried? - We'll pull it together in sweeps.
I've got an exclusive with that woman who fed her murdered husband to their cat.
Well, that sounds When's that on? Hey, I feel like being bad.
Let's sneak out and get a drink, my treat.
I can't.
I'm I'm busy.
Doing what, laundry? No, I, um actually have an interview.
With who? Babysitter? Housekeeper? Divorce lawyer? Just reschedule it.
I'm interviewing for a job, Tully.
What are you talking about? I'm interviewing for assistant editor at Seattle Digest.
What? I know them! I can get you in there! I don't want to get a job because I have a famous friend, I wanna get it because I'm just that good.
You should've at least told me in advance so I could style you.
I got a pantsuit at Frock Farm.
There's a Frock Farm? Oh, dear God.
- [LINE BEEPS.]
- Hang on, Tully.
- Hello? - [SCHOOL BELL RINGING.]
Coach Aaron spotted her sneaking in a window in the locker room.
- She skipped four classes.
- What? Marah will be serving a two-day in-school suspension - starting Tuesday.
- Wait.
So the consequence for missing class is missing class? - Marah! Christ, enough! I'm sorry - What? It doesn't make any sense! Your behavior doesn't make any sense.
I mean, you won the attendance award last year.
She won the attendance award.
Unfortunately, what we're looking at is a bit of a pattern.
Marah's grades are slipping.
Is there something happening at home? She's getting divorced from my dad.
Marah, please.
Uh - You are.
It's true.
- Yeah, that's not anyone else's [PRINCIPAL.]
Often we act out when we're vulnerable and in pain.
I could refer a counselor for the family.
Thank you.
Just drop me off at Emma's.
[SCOFFING.]
Oh, hell no, you're obviously grounded.
But we have plans.
I was supposed to meet her at 3:15.
It's 3:30.
It's 3:30? - Yeah.
- Oh, shit! - Marah, run! - Ugh.
So embarrassing! [MARAH GROANS.]
- [KATE.]
Run! - [MARAH.]
Why? [KATE.]
Ugh! Get in the car! - I'm coming! - [ENGINE STARTS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
[PANTING.]
Kate Mularkey for Kimber Watts.
Your appointment was at three o'clock.
Yeah.
I had a small emergency.
Um Do you think there's any chance you could slide me in? You'll have to wait until the other applicants are done.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's great.
Thank you so much.
I'll wait.
Why do you even want this job? You haven't worked in, like, a thousand years.
Yet, it feels like I haven't stopped working in the last 14.
Ha-ha-ha.
Hilarious.
I'm gonna wait in the car.
Wait.
How do I look? The same as you always look.
Shit.
[SIGHS.]
The future of journalism are women.
The future of journalism is women.
Women are the future of journalism.
I am the future of journalism.
And the future is looking bright.
[EXHALES.]
[ELEVATOR DINGS.]
The real operation is in Tacoma.
We're just their little Seattle bureau, but it's TV news, Kate.
- [KATE CHUCKLING.]
- And I work here.
And you will too.
Women are the future of journalism, and the future is looking bright.
Okay.
Don't say that in your interview.
Oh, sure Yeah, sure.
I'm It's stupid.
Just be yourself.
He's gonna love you.
This is just the first step.
You're going to be producing.
I'm going to be on air, eventually.
Oh, I'm just so excited that I got an interview.
Yeah, totally.
So, come meet the gang.
Our reporter, Carol Mansour, she is at a city council meeting.
I know who Carol is, you've mentioned her a billion times.
- Oh, that's Mutt.
- Toilet's backed up again.
Well, did you call the building manager? Yeah.
He says poop in the one downstairs.
[SIGHS.]
Well, I told you it was glamorous.
[KATE LAUGHS.]
Ah.
There's my boss, Johnny.
Johnny come meet Kate.
Come.
["MAGIC MAN" BY HEART PLAYING.]
"Come on home, girl" He said with a smile "I cast my spell of love on you A woman from a child" But try, try, try to understand He's a magic man [MUSIC FADES.]
Guys, Goddamn it.
Can you wait? The famous Kate.
I've heard many, many, many stories.
Hi.
I'm Johnny Ryan.
Kate.
There's not very much on my résumé, but I'm eager and I'm a very hard worker Résumé? What for? The job? Job? [SCOFFS.]
Oh, for God's sake.
- You said we needed help around here.
- [JOHNNY.]
No.
I said you needed to help around here.
She can do all the filing, she can answer the phones, basically everything I suck at.
- She's, like, superhuman.
- Tully.
- There's protocol.
- Can't believe this.
- This isn't the way There's a system.
- She's cheap.
If you don't hire her, your head's further up your ass then I thought.
Okay, well, still your boss.
- So check yourself.
- [KATE.]
Mr.
Ryan, I'm sorry.
I did not realize this was an ambush.
- I'm not Mr.
Ryan.
- [TULLY.]
It's a surprise.
It is an ambush.
The kid's right - That's exactly what it is! - You said we'd hire - Hold on! - Don't go.
Worst job in TV news.
The pay's shit, your co-workers have terrible hygiene.
I smell delightful.
Place is overrun by ants.
Toilet's backed up.
[CHUCKLES.]
Who the hell can say no to Tully Hart? If you want the job, Kate Mularkey it's yours.
Thank you.
Oh it was in my pocket.
Oh, my God, you worked at KPOC? I used to watch Tully Hart when I was a kid.
Did you know her? - Uh, yeah.
I, um - I have actually met her a few times.
She is [EXHALES.]
fantastic.
[CHUCKLES.]
Even though she never returns my calls.
Oh, uh, I see there's a gap the past few dozen years.
I'm ready to get back in the game.
Mmm [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
The business has changed a lot since the '80s.
[CHUCKLES.]
Some things don't change.
I'm a skilled editor and I've done a lot of writing myself.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
This isn't an editing job.
Oh, assistant editor.
Assistant to the editor.
Me.
Oh.
The thing is, it's 2003 and I need someone who's in the mix, culturally-speaking.
Oh, I'm in the mix.
I mean, I'm I'm steeped.
Like, Myspace and, um Napster.
I know all the words to "In Da Club.
" I'm just not sure it's the right fit.
I can get you Tully Hart.
All-access interview.
You can? [EXHALES.]
Yeah, um, she's my best friend.
I can get you whatever you need.
[WATER RUNNING.]
[SIGHS.]
[KATE.]
Hey, want a glass of wine, Tull? Hell yes.
[CLINKS.]
So, I think I got the job.
[TULLY.]
Mmm.
Seriously? Nice! Assistant editor.
Sort of.
My boss's name is Kimber, like she's 12.
- Ugh.
Kimber Watts? - Yeah.
She said she knew you.
Yeah, I've met her, at a few parties.
She's - You know what? You can handle it.
- Oh, God.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, like, Becky-9th-grade level of crazy we're talking for Kimber? Or? [TULLY.]
Oh, girl, worse.
[KATE LAUGHING.]
Shit.
So what was Marah even skipping class for? Who knows? She doesn't talk to me about anything right now.
She just needs some time with her godmother.
[KATE.]
You know, I don't think anyone can get through to her right now.
She's going off the rails and it's all my fault.
I don't think it's your fault.
I ripped her family apart, okay? Would you stop it? Stop.
It's not your fault.
Doesn't matter whose fault it is, it's always the kid who suffers.
Oh, come on.
My mother was the shittiest mom in the entire world.
- [LAUGHS.]
- And look how I turned out.
Marah's got the best mom in the entire world.
She's gonna be fine.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
I'm not so sure I'm going to be fine.
- Upside? - [SIGHS.]
You've been with the same man and the same penis for 15 years.
Just think of all the new penises you're about to meet.
Ugh, God.
That sounds exhausting and terrifying.
[LAUGHS.]
You're going to be okay.
- Better than okay.
- [SNIFFLES.]
I promise.
[WITH FRENCH ACCENT.]
Would vous like to try ze escargot, mademoiselle? Mmm, mais non, Madam! Hmm.
What about a sip of the delicious champagne? [NORMAL.]
One sip.
Don't tell your mom.
Ooh.
Oui oui! So bubbly! [LAUGHS.]
Now that we have a secret you can tell me where you went when you cut class the other day.
Nowhere.
I sat by a tree.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
I get you.
You're stubborn, pigheaded, and rebellious, just like me.
There's nothing you can tell me that I haven't heard before, or done before, most likely.
There's nothing I can tell you that you're not gonna tell my mom.
Your mom? Who's that? I barely know her.
You can trust me, Marah, I promise.
- I went to Planned Parenthood.
- [LOW.]
Oh, my God.
Are you pregnant? What? No.
No, I haven't even had sex.
I just wanted to get on the pill.
Except you need an adult to sign the form.
Why would you take the pill if you're not having sex? [MARAH.]
Everyone's on it.
It's practically a prerequisite for high school.
- You're not in high school.
- I will be in a few months.
- What does your mom say about this? - She'll just say no.
- She's all about ruining me.
- Objection, Your Honor.
- You could sign it, though.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I could, but I won't.
What if I promise I'll tell her? - Eventually.
- When? If I'm ever thinking about having sex, then I'll tell her.
I swear.
[WOMEN GIGGLING.]
[WOMAN 1.]
It is you! Oh! That episode that you did last year on finding your inner voice changed my life.
Oh, thank you.
- Would you sign my receipt? - [TULLY.]
I sure will.
[WOMAN 2.]
You look even better in person! - Oh, stop.
- [WOMAN 1.]
We just love you.
Can I have a hug? Of course.
I love your top.
Thank you for stopping by, ladies.
It means a lot to me.
- Have a great day.
- [BOTH.]
Thank you! [SIGHS.]
My mom said you were always famous, even before you were really famous.
Your mom exaggerates.
Well, that's an understatement.
She doesn't get anything.
You'd be surprised what your mom gets.
- Then how come she's always such a bitch? - Hey! That is my best friend you're talking about.
And your mother is not a bitch.
She is the kindest person I've ever met.
Even at 14 she was kind.
Nobody's kind at 14.
That's why I was drawn to her.
I knew instantly she was special.
["SHE TURNS MY RADIO ON" BY JIM FORD.]
Every morning about dawn Sun shines through my window And a new day is born Every evening about sundown My whole world changes, Lord When she comes around She comes and turns my radio on Gives me all-day music I got all-night song I'm gonna sing it 'Til the cows come home Look what you went and did, honey You turned my radio on [DISTORTED CHATTERING.]
[SPITS.]
- [SPLATS.]
- [ALL LAUGH.]
Katie! I made Hamburger Helper for the new neighbors.
I've got homework, just send Sean.
[UTENSIL CLATTERS.]
Can I say something without you jumping all over me? [HOCKEY ANNOUNCER TALKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV.]
Life is hard sometimes, even at 14.
Well, especially at 14.
Yeah, no shit.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear that word.
It's going to be easy, because I will never hear it again, right? I know that you're having a hard time right now.
But it's never any good to just sit around waiting for someone or something to come and change your life.
I mean, that's why women like Gloria Steinem, they're burning their bras and they're marching on Washington.
Somebody say something about bras? [FATHER.]
Sean.
Hi, Mrs.
M.
- Hey, Kate.
- Hi, Robbie.
- Hope you're staying for dinner.
- Definitely.
I need to carbo load.
What you studying Kate? Uh it's the War of 1812.
Oh, yeah.
I dig it.
When was it again? [LAUGHS.]
Ah.
Yeah.
[GIGGLES.]
Come on, Robbie, let's get back upstairs.
Catch you later, Katie-Pie.
Bye.
[MRS.
MULARKEY.]
Casserole isn't getting any warmer.
[PSYCHEDELIC ROCK PLAYING ON STEREO.]
[KNOCKING.]
And all the love I gave you - Hi.
- Hi.
My mom made you guys this casserole.
You look like you came out of an encyclopedia.
[KATE.]
Thank you? By the shifting of the sand Was that your mom? She has cancer.
I'm so sorry.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow, I wish my mom would let me eat all that stuff.
She doesn't care if you smoke? She's too sick to care.
- Drag? - Uh No.
Thanks.
[SCOFFS.]
Thought so.
Well, you probably have to get home for dinner.
Okay.
Bye-bye, girl with the cool-neighbor attitude.
Thanks for the food.
- I can't cook and Cloud is cooked, so - Cloud? It's my mom's name, currently.
Oh, well bye.
[CHUCKLES.]
[OWL HOOTING.]
Hey.
What's your name? Oh, uh, Kate.
Kate Mularkey.
[LAUGHS.]
Malarkey? Like, bullshit? - Oh, hey, I didn't mean to make fun.
- Whatever.
Fine, be a bitch, why don't you? Just that empty room on the other side there, huh? Look, why don't we take turns, that way neither one of us will get too tired.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING ON TV.]
Hello? Yeah, this is Sergeant Mallory.
[LAUGHING.]
I love Carol Burnett, my God, she's so good! I want to be like Carol.
[SKETCH CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
Oh, my God.
Can I help you? Yeah.
Hi.
Yes.
I am, um, going to an event, and I just was looking for something to, um kind of, like, deal with this whole area, like, knees to boobs? You want Spanx? What is Spanx? They're amazing.
They even have a little slot for you to pee through.
Let me go see if we have your size.
Kate! - Travis! Hi.
- Hey! I was over in men's and I thought, "I know the back of that head.
" Ah.
Great! - Oh, should I have not come over? Or? - What? Oh.
Um, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't be - So are you going to the gala? - Yeah.
You gotta support the school, you know.
You? Oh, well, I'm on the committee.
Of course.
I think I knew that.
Right.
Are you bringing anyone? No.
You? No, um, but, um should be fun.
There's going to be a DJ this year.
- Songs of '70s! - Oh, okay.
Well, then I'm definitely going.
I can't deprive the other parents of my sweet disco moves.
[LAUGHS, SNORTS.]
[TRAVIS CHUCKLES.]
Anyway, I'm glad we ran into each other.
It's been weird not seeing you.
Yeah.
You look good, Kate.
Here you go, ma'am.
Extra tummy control, plus these reduce thigh chafing.
These are for my mother.
She's been curious.
And I will take these for me.
So [TULLY.]
You did not pick up the thong.
Oh, I very much did.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, that is one way to flirt up your PTA crush.
Ugh.
And the worst part is he looked so [GROANS.]
And I looked so I feel like you need me.
Why don't I come over for dinner? Marah's eating in her room.
She's mad at me.
I just ate my dinner over the sink like an animal.
Well, I could bring a bottle of wine.
We can watch a movie.
Oh, Love Story! Ugh.
I'd just fall asleep.
But what are you doing next Saturday? You want to be my date to a super cool middle-school fundraiser? I would love to, but I am headed down to LA for a movie premiere.
George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Blah, blah, boring, whatever.
That sounds awful.
Wanna trade lives? Well, I'll come over now.
Come on, we'll have a slumber party.
- Please? - I wish.
I should go check on Marah.
- I'll call you tomorrow, okay? - 'Kay.
[PHONE BEEPS OFF.]
- [BIRDS CALLING.]
- [DISTANT SIRENS WAILING.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
[UPBEAT FUNK MUSIC PLAYING.]
[BARTENDER.]
Here's your martini.
- I know who you are.
- I'm so relieved.
- My name's Larry.
- Great.
Can I just say you are way hotter in person? Like, way.
That's not really compliment, Larry.
Oh, it is very much a compliment.
- You waiting for somebody? - No.
May I join you? No.
Come on, Tully Hart.
Take a chance.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know what, Larry? That is good advice.
I think I will.
So Hey there.
[HEAVY BREATHING.]
[TULLY MOANS LOUDLY.]
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [SIGHS.]
- Ah.
- [PANTING.]
Wow.
We didn't even make it to the bedroom there.
Not a problem.
I needed that.
Um So I'm Max, by the way.
[LAUGHS.]
I didn't ask.
[MAX CHUCKLES.]
- [SIGHS.]
- You know, I used to, uh I used to watch you on the news when I was a kid.
Yeah, I used to I used to have a big old crush.
It's always nice to meet a fan.
Um, that was, uh That was fun.
You do this often? 'Cause 'cause I don't.
Why don't I believe you? No, I'm serious.
I just, uh I got divorced last year.
How old are you? I'm 29.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
Um Actually you're only the fourth person I've slept with.
- Ever? - Uh-huh.
Yeah.
- Bullshit.
- No, no, no.
I'm a I'm a serial monogamist, I guess.
I do not understand your generation.
Um Well, I I could explain it to you, if you want, over dinner.
How's your Saturday looking? I don't do second dates.
Oh, so you consider this a first date? Well, we could just have dessert right now.
The only thing I like after midnight is a box of warm fresh, Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Got any on you? You know, I usually do, but, um I mean, I could just go get some, come right back.
[BEEPS.]
- [ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS.]
- Goodbye, Max.
Tully Hart.
You have a good night.
[CLATTERS.]
Mom, what's going on? Marah, why are you up? The noise.
Why are you up? I'm starting that new job on Monday, and I was just looking for this.
A hideous '80s briefcase.
It's a satchel.
Grandma gave it to me, my first job, and I was just hoping it would bring me some luck.
[EXHALES.]
You're okay with me working, right? Whatever.
I don't care.
Just, who's gonna pick me up from school? Grandma sometimes, or you can take the bus.
I mean, you hate it when I pick you up.
You make me park down a block.
I know, I just I think maybe you should wait.
'Cause what if Dad changes his mind, and you guys make up and he moves back in? Oh, baby, come here.
I don't know what's gonna happen with me and your dad, but you know that we both love you so much and we are always a family, no matter what, okay? [MARAH SIGHS.]
Good night, sweetie.
[SIGHS.]
["YOU'RE THE ONE" BY NIKKI & THE CORVETTES PLAYING.]
- You got that kind of look, baby - Baby You got that something That makes me crazy - You got me going, oh, baby - Baby I want your lovin' so don't say maybe When you're holding me so tight Don't you know that you feel all right - You're the one - You're the one - Baby, you're the one - You're the one - You're the one - You're the one Baby, you're the one - Come in a little closer now, baby - Baby Just keep it moving And don't get lazy It's getting so hot, baby [KNOCKS.]
My head is spinning And it's too hot and crazy When you're holding me so tight Don't you know that you feel all right You're the one, you're the one [CLEARS THROAT.]
[SONG ENDS.]
- Kate.
- Hi.
- Sorry, I didn't see you there.
- Oh, I am here.
And I brought food.
You bought me lunch? Oh, well, Mutt and Carol are off interviewing that Bill Gates guy and then Tully decided to tag along and I figured maybe you might be hungry.
Oh, it just keeps coming.
Okay.
Oh.
Just in case, for later.
Soup, huh? You're one of those.
A soup liker? Guilty.
[LAUGHS.]
- A caretaker.
- Oh.
- Sit down, come on, eat some of this.
- I already ate.
Oh, I meant to say - Great job with the filing system.
- Oh.
- Turned it into an actual system.
- [LAUGHS.]
Place is starting to feel like a real office.
And you are an excellent copy editor.
Tully was right, you're a dynamo.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Well, thanks.
So, um, do you think they'll get a good story at Microsoft? Well, there's a civil war going on in Lebanon.
Meanwhile, we're dicking around with bullshit soft news.
This isn't journalism.
This is where journalism goes to die.
[SIGHS.]
I mean, it's a great place to start, it's just a bad place to end up.
[INHALES.]
Oh.
Yeah.
Tully said you used to be a war correspondent.
- Million years ago, yeah.
- Well, why did you stop? Because sometimes life kicks the shit out of you, Mularkey.
I'm sorry.
I I didn't I just don't really like to, uh, talk about it.
Yeah, no, sure.
I get it.
I won't Um, we could talk about something else.
Um, sports? You like sports? No.
[CHUCKLES.]
You? You're sweet.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
Ah Maybe too sweet for the news.
Yeah, I'm actually not that sweet.
- Okay, Mularkey.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [MAN.]
Just the Pepto and the cigarettes? - Yeah.
[NEWSCASTER ON RADIO.]
pressure for Nixon to resign is mounting - That's $1.
19.
- from the investigation surfaces - I thought you didn't smoke.
- Oh, they're for my mom.
Oh, right.
- I'll take a pack too, please.
- I can't sell you cigarettes.
Oh, they're for my mom.
Well, I don't know who your mom is.
I'm sorry.
Shh.
- What are you doing? - You know the meaning of "shh"? [GRUNTS.]
- Are you okay? - What's going on back here? Oh, I fell down, sir.
I'm a klutz.
There something you want to tell me, Kate Mularkey? No, sir.
She's a big klutz.
Big.
All right.
Bye, then.
[KATE.]
Bye.
[SHOPKEEPERS BELL JINGLES.]
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
- Oh, you're full of surprises, Mularkey! - [GIGGLES.]
- Thanks for not ratting me out.
- [KATE.]
Sure.
[TULLY.]
What? Do you still hate me? No, I never hated you.
Hey, hot girl, come talk to us.
Why should I if you don't ask nice? - Sassy, I like that.
- [BOY LAUGHING.]
I bet you he follows us.
- Why are boys so simple? - They don't seem simple to me.
Hot girl! Don't make me chase you.
[TULLY.]
Too late.
I could get in trouble for talking to you.
Hey, I'm gonna stay and talk to Pat.
Right.
Pat.
See you, Mularkey.
Oh, right.
Bye.
You have my attention.
Come to a party with me on Friday.
I could make that work.
Pick you up at ten.
Unless that's past your curfew.
17 Firefly Lane, and I don't have a curfew.
- [SNAPS.]
- [GROANS SOFTLY.]
I can't do it.
I can't spend the night drinking bad pinot grigio with passive-aggressive moms.
I've seen you run circles around those moms.
You got this.
Easy for you to say.
You're taking a private jet to meet Clooney.
[CHUCKLES.]
Just look out your window, you idiot.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
What are you doing? [CHUCKLES.]
Tonight, you are Cinderella and I am your prince.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
[GIGGLES.]
[KATE.]
I cannot believe you picked me over Clooney.
Ha! Me neither.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Admit it, I look like the "before" in one of your makeover shows.
This dress is a metaphor for everything that's wrong in my life.
Stop it.
You're fine.
You don't get it.
You don't know what it's like to fail.
You succeed at everything you try.
You are so much braver than me.
Your family, that is the real accomplishment.
I will never have that.
I was too scared to even try.
I'm not brave.
Now I'm starting over alone and it sucks.
You're not alone, babe.
You got me.
In fact [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
- Give me a second.
- [LAUGHING.]
What are you doing, Tully? All right, girl, take that off.
I do not have the boobs for that dress.
Just put it on, bitch.
Trust me.
[KATE.]
You're insane.
- Oh, those are appealing.
- [LAUGHS.]
Right? Should I just go in this? Really turn some heads? [LAUGHS.]
[ZIPS.]
It's it's too much.
It's perfect.
It's perfect.
[OWL HOOTING.]
Just one more.
Hey, uh new girl, right? Yeah, I don't know what you think you just saw My name's Tully, and I didn't see anything.
[DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS.]
Well, um You know, my mom, she, uh she freaks out if I'm late.
So, uh Yeah.
Moms.
They're hard.
[HORSE NICKERS.]
Hey, boy, how you doing? She's a girl.
Her name's Sweet Pea.
You want to feed her? No, I have somebody coming to pick me up, I can't get horse slime on me.
[CAR TIRES SQUEAL.]
[LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
Come on! We'll miss the keg! Uh, see you, Mularkey.
Out driving in the rain [ENGINE REVS.]
[TULLY.]
Coming to you live from the Seattle Zoo, the scene of this afternoon's horrific elephant trampling.
[LAUGHS.]
This is Tallulah Hart.
This is Tully Hart.
This is Terry Hart.
No, that's No.
Don't like that.
So did Johnny say that he'd put you on? Not exactly.
He says I'm still too green.
I need more newsroom experience, and then he started mumbling about some debt crisis in Latin America.
Blah, blah, blah.
[PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
So, like, is his life the news, or is he married, or is, like single or? - Miss Mularkey - [LAUGHS.]
How long have you been wanting to do the deed with the man who signs your paychecks? Stop it! I don't want to do any deeds! I get it.
I get it.
Super handsome, mind of a cynic, heart of a dreamer type.
It's sexy.
I've thought about it.
Wait, you have? Yeah, but Johnny's the boss.
Bad idea, plus now that I know you're interested [LAUGHS.]
No, it is not like that.
I'm not I mean, like, he's interesting, but I'm not interested.
I just admire him in like a you know, like a mentor-mentee kind of way.
The kind of mentor who teaches the mentee what it means to be a woman? - [LAUGHS.]
- [SNORTS.]
Ah! I got a snort! [BOTH LAUGH.]
I do not have a crush on Johnny Ryan.
- Okay? I swear.
- Okay.
Okay.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Mm.
There's nothing like the musty scent of a junior high school gym.
So much better than Clooney.
Stop it.
I love it.
There is no other place I would rather be.
- [KATE.]
Thank you.
- Kate! - Hey! - Hey.
Wow, you look fantastic.
Thank you.
Um, this is my best friend, Tully Holy shit, Tully Hart.
Indeed.
Hi, I'm Travis.
My daughter loves your show.
We tape it and watch it every day after school.
Okay, I tape it.
I'm the fan.
I love you - Thank you.
- Your show.
[TRAVIS CHUCKLES.]
It's nice to meet you, Travis.
Kate, the silent auction, it's a mess.
We need your help.
I am on it.
Here.
Got you.
[JOHNNY.]
Sure you made the Federal Express cut off? Yes for the 14th time.
I'm gonna drive the tape to Tacoma myself next time.
Kate.
Kate, Kate, Kate.
Mmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [JOHNNY.]
What would I do without you? - What would you do? You guys are the best.
Do you know that? I know you're drunk.
I'm not.
["TAINTED LOVE" BY SOFT CELL PLAYING.]
- Come on, let's dance! - Oh, love it! Sometimes I feel I've got to run away I've got to get away From the pain you drive Into the heart of me The love we share seems to go nowhere And I've lost my light For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living Oh, tainted love Whoa, tainted love Now I know I've got to run away I've got to get away You don't really want any more from me To make things right You need someone to hold you tight And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you [SONG FADES.]
["GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD" BY ELTON JOHN PLAYING.]
Thanks a lot.
Bye.
When are you going to land? [CELL PHONE RINGING.]
I should have listened to my old man [HANGS UP.]
You know you can't hold me forever - Hey, this is Kate.
Leave a message.
- Hey, did you leave? Call me.
This boy's too young to be singing The blues So goodbye yellow brick road Where the dogs of society howl You can't plant me in your penthouse I'm going back to my plow Back to the howling old owl In the woods Hunting the horny back toad Oh, I've finally decided My future lies Beyond the yellow brick road Mmm.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Well, well, well, if it isn't the late-night doughnut fairy.
Came back early from New York.
I was going to go to the fundraiser, but I just I couldn't face it.
Go home to Kate and your daughter.
They miss you.
I made a mistake, Tully.
Think maybe I've made a lot of mistakes.
Yeah, going to New York was a huge mistake, but Kate'll forgive you.
Not New York, everything.
- [SIGHS.]
- My whole life, it's all wrong.
- Go home to your wife, Johnny.
- I don't have a wife.
Can I just Can I stay with you tonight? I need you, Tully.
Please.
[SONG ENDS.]
[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]