Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond (2013) s01e01 Episode Script

1 You bastard! You nearly gave me a heart attack.
What if you'd missed? Who says I didn't? Murdering your wife on your honeymoon.
I doubt even you could talk your way out of that.
I don't know.
How much longer? I know what you're doing.
Can't bear the thought of being married, so you're taking it out on that poor, bloody machine.
Charming.
This Bond fellow, I don't like him one bit.
He's a sadistic brute.
I thought that was your type.
So, what's the verdict? Pornographic, pure and simple.
I'm glad you like it.
I thought of dedicating it to you.
You couldn't possibly be serious.
Come on, it's not bloody literature.
It's a pot boiler.
Just words, nothing more.
Make believe.
Really? Is that why he has your golf handicap and taste in vodka? He's not me.
You as you would like to be.
Your fantasy.
Is that who he is? Not exactly.
Not in the way you're thinking.
So who is he? Come on! Come on, Ian, for God's sake.
Go on.
Ian! You silly bugger.
You could have been killed.
You know me, one foot in the cradle, the other hurtling towards the grave.
Oh, is that another of your pick-up lines? Needs a little work.
Besides, you can't do splits forever.
Really? Why not? Look about you.
Things are changing.
We can't take him seriously, surely.
For God's sake, Ian, this isn't a game.
You'd know all about it, of course.
Don't be so childish.
- Mr Fleming? - Yes.
- The one who wrote this? - Brazilian Adventure.
That's him.
- Would you mind? - Of course.
To Muriel.
I've read all your books.
Travels in Tartary, the one about China.
Do you really have such adventures? Just back from Manchuria.
We're having a little party in our cabin later, if you'd care to join He's married to a film star.
I'm not.
Oh! Terribly sorry.
Don't mention it.
I do hope to see you both again.
- Just back from Manchuria? - Well, it's true.
Thank you.
Hello? Hello, Mr Fleming, it's Janet from the office.
I'm glad you called, actually.
I've got a terrible terrible migraine.
Yeah, I'm just going over some figures actually at home.
Ouch! Will you stop it? I thought I should remind you, in case you were otherwise engaged.
You have a lunch appointment with a client.
Oh, really? Which one? You only have the one.
Oh, I see, yes, that one.
Okay.
Will you tell him I'm on my way? Thank you.
Goodbye.
You are going to get me fired.
Ow! Ow! You said you would wake me.
Viscount Alford.
Mmm.
Good to see you.
I wish I could say the same.
So, how is my account? Good, good.
Truth is, I'm really on to something, but I can't say too much about it.
Top secret.
What I can say is Bulgarian silver.
We're both men of the world, Fleming.
I remember Val once told me, "John, what's most important in life is family, above all else.
" Now, I don't pretend you think of me as a father figure.
Nevertheless, I flatter myself that, since Val's passing, I've been there with your mother.
Fleming, are you even listening to me? Fleming! Are you even listening to what I'm saying? Yes, avidly.
I will not stand by, while you fritter away my family's fortune.
Come on, why don't we sleep on it, see how we feel No.
Sorry, Fleming, my mind's made up.
You might want to consider if this is really the career for you.
Since, in my estimation, you're quite easily the worst stock broker in London.
Good day.
Excuse me.
Whose account is this on? His? - Yes, sir.
- Jolly good.
I'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you You rascal, you I'll be glad when you dead, you rascal, you You rascal, you When you're dead and gone then you'll leave my man alone I'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you You've done had my man long enough, you rascal, you Martini.
Three measures of Gordon's, one vodka, half a Kina Lillet, shaken not stirred, served in a champagne goblet.
Perfect.
Oh, look.
Hello, darling.
What are you doing in this hell hole? Have you two met? In a manner.
Not formally.
This is Ann.
Lady O'Neill to her friends.
Meet the most handsome man in London, Mr Ian Fleming.
Fleming? Peter's brother? Do you write too? I collect.
What exactly? Things that take my fancy.
Expensive hobby.
You'd be surprised.
Some things are much cheaper than they look.
Isn't that right, Lil? Ann collects too, only with her it's not books, it's people.
I get the impression Mr Fleming thinks he's collectable.
Are you? I'll let you be the judge.
I shall think of you as a little-known first edition.
Somewhat bumped and more than a little foxed.
Never mind her.
Better luck next time, darling.
You rascal, you Are you all right? Not especially.
Had a bad day.
Well, actually, a bad year.
In fact, the whole decade has been a bloody disaster.
- Well, that's a shame.
- But I live in hope.
Especially when I see a pretty face.
Well, go on, cheer me up.
Haven't we met? We have now.
Muriel.
My friends call me Mu.
Muriel? I don't like that one bit.
Mu's even worse.
I shall call you Honey Top.
Kitzbuhel, on the train.
- Yes, you're Ian.
- Yes.
The lesser Fleming.
Mmm.
I'm awfully hungry all of a sudden.
Why don't you come back to my flat? I'll cook us something to eat.
I'm a terribly good cook.
- Are you? - Yes.
Hello.
Who's this oaf? Is he with you? My brother.
Oh, pleasure.
Stay away from Mu, understand? Next time, I'll horse whip you.
Ian! Are you hurt? What a stupid bloody question.
What does it look like? Perfect end to a perfect bloody day.
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
He's such a horrible thug.
Sometimes I can't believe we're actually related.
Oh, I give up.
I do hope you're not in too much pain.
I'm sure I'll survive.
Perhaps you can help me take my mind off things.
Perhaps I can.
I'm coming.
No, no, no.
I don't want that.
Nonsense, of course he does.
It's an Augustus John.
What happened to your eye? Could you come back in an hour or so? It's not especially convenient.
I'm your mother, it's always convenient.
Well, perhaps we should come back later.
I think Ian's been celebrating something or other, as usual.
Oh, I see you bought some new etchings for your collection.
God! It's a first edition.
Glad to see my money is being so well spent.
Now, sit down and listen.
Can I get you something? A gin? I said, sit down.
Come on, Ian.
Let's all just have a chat.
Well, come on then.
Let's have it.
Who wants to start? My darling brother? Lancy Hugh Smith called me yesterday.
He wants to know why his firm should continue to employ you.
You have been a great disappointment to me.
You came into life with the best advantages and prodigious opportunities.
Which you have wantonly squandered, unlike your Dear brother Peter, who remains a credit to his late father's memory.
Shall I go on? I've heard it a thousand bloody times.
We've all heard it a thousand times.
The point this time is to bloody sit down and listen.
Oh, fuck off.
Stop telling me what to do.
I'm fed up with this sanctimonious nonsense from saint bloody Peter.
I disappoint you, do I? Good.
I disappoint myself.
Well, feeling sorry for yourself won't help.
If only you'd really known your father.
Oh, God.
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.
I am not my father.
I'm not my brother, nor do I have any intention of being.
So, as of today, I officially give up trying.
Hmm.
So, what exactly are you? Fucked if I know.
Perhaps this is the time to find out.
There's a war coming.
Oh, we all know who the hero will be.
Is she polishing your medals already? Don't be so childish.
We're trying to help.
Who knows, could be the making of you.
Hello.
- This is, um - Muriel Wright.
Friends call me Mu.
I've heard so much about you, Mrs Fleming.
So nice to meet you.
If you want me to join the army, you seem to be forgetting I've been thrown out once already.
You resigned.
- For God's sake.
- You made me.
Do I have to remind you why? You had gonorrhoea.
I suppose that was her fault as well.
You seem to be making my point for me.
There must be something you can do.
It's not like you don't have skills, talents.
You certainly have an extraordinary imagination.
Yes, well, next time the war office wants a fantasist, first class, please do let me know.
I'm their man! Well, that went well.
I think your mother loved me.
Hmm.
Looks like you're getting a kick out of those.
Hmm.
I'll show you some more, if you behave yourself.
Will you? I'm a collector.
Taxi.
Thank God his father never had to see him like this.
I shall have to have a word with you-know-who.
Who? Oh, you know.
Winston.
Hello? Hello? Yes, speaking.
Yes, when shall we meet? Thursday.
Yes, thank you.
Cheerio.
- Do you mind? - What was all that about? None of your business.
Something important actually.
- Work? - No.
Another woman? I said something important.
I believe you have something for me.
How do I know I can trust you? You don't.
But here we are.
Heil Hitler.
There must be some mistake.
My name is Ian Fleming.
My brother is Peter Fleming, the author.
My father was Conservative MP for Henley, for God's sake.
We know a lot about you, Mr Fleming.
A very great deal.
You smoke custom-made Morland's Cigarettes blended from three Turkish tobaccos, correct? We also know you spend far more than you earn.
You were expelled from Eton, had to resign from Sandhurst Fascinating.
What is the point? We also know you speak fluent German and made repeated trips to both Germany and Austria.
We know you interviewed Goebbels in June, 1933.
For Reuters.
It was my job.
Was? I thought you knew everything.
I quit.
They offered me Shanghai.
The wage was an insult, barely enough to cover my opium.
Anything else? We also know you flat at 22 Ebury Street belonged to Sir Oswald Mosley, and was used for meetings by the British Union of Fascists.
They debated "the Jewish question".
Earlier today you visited a known Nazi sympathiser from whom you bought a first edition of Hitler's Mein Kampf.
You think I'm a Nazi.
Are you? I collect first editions.
He gave it to you for a knock-down price.
Why would he do that, unless you were a Nazi fellow traveller? Because I told him rather an elaborate lie.
Indeed.
That it was to replace a copy which your client, a Nazi-sympathising member of the Cabinet, had given to the King.
It was a load of bloody nonsense.
Look, I'm not a Nazi, so what exactly are you accusing me of? My name is Admiral John Godfrey, Director of Naval Intelligence.
Your name came down to us from Winston Churchill.
Your fluent German, your travels, all this cloak and dagger stuff, it shows imagination.
A healthy disregard for authority.
Frankly, you remind me of me.
I think you have potential.
Cheer up, Mr Fleming, I'm not accusing you of anything.
I'm about to offer you a job.
Lunch? So do you think you might be interested? You want me to be a spy? Not exactly.
My assistant.
More an admin role than anything, but you get a uniform.
I see.
I'm sorry to be blunt, but a Naval salary? All that saluting.
It's not my thing.
- Thank you, but no thanks.
- Please sit down.
Mr Fleming, we're on the brink of war.
And Naval Intelligence is stuck in the Dark Ages.
Unless we take radical measures, the Swastika will be flying over Downing Street next Christmas.
I want someone from outside the system.
Someone with the guts to play dirty.
And I think you need someone like me.
Now, do we have a deal? Report for duty in a week Monday.
And, in the meantime, I suggest you bone up as much as you can.
- Esmond.
- John, how are you? Hello.
You know Rosaline, don't you? She's - Hello.
- Hello.
You turn up everywhere.
Like a bad penny.
Esmond says you're a bad boy.
A black sheep.
Well, that depends on how much you trust your sources.
Esmond's very well informed.
He was wrong about Hitler.
His newspaper was flirting heavily with the little chap.
Does he know there's a war coming? Esmond says there will be no war.
I'm sure Esmond would rather your husband remain at the front.
Wouldn't he? Do not presume to judge us, Mr Fleming.
I would do anything to have my husband home and out of danger.
The truth is we could all be killed at any moment.
- A bomb could just - Not if you take precautions.
I moved in here.
The best bomb shelter in London.
And the worst sole meuniere.
You'll have to pay a visit.
Excuse me.
This morning, the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final note, stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us.
I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received and that, consequently, this country is at war with Germany.
Now, may God bless you all, and may He defend the right, for it is evil things that we shall be fighting against, brute force, bad faith, injustice, oppression, and persecution, and against them I am certain that the right will prevail.
Hello, Room 39.
Yes, sir.
Can I ask who is calling? Have you cross checked it with the original? No, I think I'll do that.
Excuse me, is there No.
Not now.
You must be Fleming.
Second Officer Monday.
- What a pleasure.
- I'm Admiral Godfrey's secretary.
Yes, yes.
So, what has the old boy told you about us? Not much.
- I've done some reading.
- Excellent.
Signal codes? No.
Buchan, Kipling.
Hmm, I suppose that's a joke.
Shame, I was hoping you'd last longer than the others.
And already we're off on the wrong foot.
We need information.
Signals, reports, charts, maps.
If the Nazis develop the torpedo, we need details.
But, firstly, we need order.
Our left hand doesn't know what our right hand's doing.
Not to worry, I'm good with my hands.
Another joke.
This isn't going well, in case you're wondering.
Signals are in this tray here.
Charts are on that table over here.
And here we have aerial photography.
Counter-intelligence, I'll let you deal with personally.
Is that clear? Very.
A ladies' man.
Oughtn't you be addressing the troops? My name is Commander Ian Fleming.
My name is Commander Ian Fleming! Excellent.
Now that I've got your attention, let's sort this mess out.
My name is Commander Ian Fleming.
From now on, everything for the Admiral goes through me.
Well, hello, I didn't recognise you in uniform.
I imagine you've been trying to forget me after the other morning.
Actually I was hoping I'd bump into you.
Were you? Fancy a nightcap? Well, what do you think? Don't know.
I can't work him out.
He's a puzzle.
He may turn out to be a bloody disaster.
I suppose if he can keep his hands to himself.
How fast does this thing go? You asked for it.
Is it always like this? Like what? This.
Now that you've had your fun, I might as well not exist.
Of course you exist.
We just made love in a manner wholly inconceivable without you.
That is not what I mean.
I'm falling in love with you and I bloody well wish I wasn't.
I suppose you want me to buy you flowers and chocolates and whisper sweet nothings.
I'd like to be more than a toy you occasionally use for sex.
- But you're so good at it.
- I'm serious.
Come on now.
I should go before you bloody well break my heart.
- He said not to disturb him.
- He'll want to hear this.
We've just had some great news.
For God's sake, Fleming, don't you ever knock? We captured two Nazi officers.
U-boat Commanders.
This one, Klaus Von Ostheim, I bloody well know him.
Naval attache in Vienna.
Couldn't take his drink, poor chap.
Threw up all over Maud Ponsonby.
Leave interrogation to SIS, it's not your job.
- With respect - Just drop it! What else has come in? This is my own file.
Fifty one ideas to fool the Nazis.
- Give me one.
- Well, I thought we could set a trap.
Send a dead body to get washed ashore.
A complete fake identity packed full of all sorts of information.
A sort of double bluff on the Germans.
Well, you'll like this one.
You know the Frisian Islands? Deserted, wonderful views of the shipping routes.
Well, I thought I and a radio operator could Wait.
You? Yes, and a radio operator could get dropped off, dig ourselves a hole, and observe U-boat movements by periscope.
What are you going to eat in this hole of yours? Oysters? It might've been the oysters that set him off.
Shame.
Some of those ideas had potential.
He's bloody well wrong, you know.
Those chaps would know everything.
They're high-ranking Nazi officers, U-boat Commanders, for God's sake.
It's just a question of getting them talking.
The old boy said to drop it.
You're not going to, are you? They're probably in a prison of war camp somewhere.
I doubt those brutes in the SIS have got their hands on them yet.
Then I have a plan.
Oh, Muriel, I know, I know, I know.
Mu, I was a beast.
That's why I want to make it up to you.
I don't think you can, I'm fed up with you.
- How about lunch, hmm? - Well One o'clock? - Maybe.
- Good.
Where are those bloody passes? Gentlemen, we really must get you some new clothes.
Stop it.
Is this your idea of an apology? Think of England.
To my noble brother officers.
Chin, chin.
Get that down the hatch, old boy.
That's it.
Not so noble now, I'm just another prisoner of war.
Mind you, if you hadn't managed to avoid those mines we left down the Skagerrak, well, we wouldn't be sitting here now.
Thank God you're alive.
Oh, I see.
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Care to join us? You disobeyed an order.
You explicitly went against my instruction! Whose side are you on, you imbecile? Or don't you even care? I thought a spot of lunch and a few bottles of Riesling might draw the Germans out.
"Draw them out?" I'll tell you who it drew out, half of Scotland Yard.
Special Branch thought a ring of Nazi spies were in the Grill Room.
War is not some entertainment laid on for your amusement.
I've had the Second Sea Lord on the phone for an hour, demanding your dismissal.
I have half a mind to give it to him.
There's something you're not telling me, what is it? They did let something slip.
What? Those mines in the Skagerrak, they were never going to hit them.
They knew all about them.
They'd found the plans, plans from one of our field offices.
How the hell did they do that? What exactly are our procedures for evacuating a field office? - We don't have any.
- Christ.
You'd better draw some up.
I take it that means the lunch was on expenses.
Nazi secrets don't come cheap.
You've got a bloody nerve.
I happen to know they pinched you before you paid the bill.
Good work, Fleming.
But try this again, I'll have your guts for a necktie.
Is that understood, Fleming? Yes.
"Yes, sir.
" My father once said there are only two people you should call "sir", God and the King.
Personally, I have some doubts about the King.
Get out of my sight.
Well, it won't be boring.
- What won't? - Life, - with you around.
- Not if I can help it.
How are you fixed for dinner tonight? What exactly is this concoction? Never you mind.
Come on, drink up before we both die of old age.
Fleming, that is so strong.
Nothing you can't handle, Monday.
Are you trying to get me drunk? Would I? This is so nice.
I can't think of the last time I was taken out.
Are you all right, sir? Yes.
I'm just going to powder my nose.
Excuse me.
Would you excuse me for a moment? Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen, please make your way calmly to the cellars.
My apologies for the disturbance.
No need for alarm.
Please follow the usual drill.
What are you doing? Are you mad? You followed me.
That's the game, isn't it? For you, maybe.
Esmond's waiting.
Can't you hear the sirens? We should go.
False alarm.
Bloody fool.
That's not how we play this game.
Tell me you don't want me.
Tell me, you don't want me.
It's okay, it's all right.
Ann.
- Ann! - Esmond.
Esmond.
- Ann! - Esmond, are you all right? - Thank God.
- I thought I'd lost you.
Monday.
Monday! Oh, Fleming, God.
Oh, Christ.
- I'll get help.
- Fleming, it's too late.
It's too late.
It's finally starting, Monday.
I could do with a drink.
I know a dive open till 4:00.
How about it? - If their fleet falls to the Nazis - We lose the war.
The British will destroy the entire French fleet rather than hand it over to the Nazis.
- Do you have the authority to negotiate? - Of course.
Would it matter if I really loved him? The trick is to never let it show.
Just a little shaken.
- These aren't soldiers.
These are spies.
- Bloody good idea.
"Miss Rights" are two a penny.
It's "Miss Wrong" I'm looking for.
- Mu? - Ian.
I'm back.