Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e01 Episode Script

1
(relaxed ensemble music)
(upbeat rock music)
- Mom?
What are you doing?
- Look, you're gonna have
to move more of your stuff.
There's not enough room.
- Me?
You get rid of some of your stuff.
- Look bro, it wasn't
my idea to move in here.
- It wasn't mine either.
All right, you just stick
to your half of the room.
- I don't believe this.
- This is ridiculous, I
can't even get to my bed.
- Correction, my bed.
I always sleep next to a window.
- You stole my bed.
- I got here first, so I get first choice.
- I was here first.
- I got here 15 years ago.
- My mom's family got here 100 years ago.
- Look, I'm the oldest
here, so live with it
and no, you can't borrow any of my stuff.
- Mom.
Mom.
- Well Mrs. Miller-Payne,
we've gone and done it now.
- One big happy family.
- Mom.
(upbeat rock tones)
- Brett, I'm sure if you just
give it some time, you'll get used to it.
- I've given it some time.
- You have given it two minutes.
- I can't take it anymore.
- If I could find a way for there to be
another bedroom in this house,
then I would but I can't.
- Well why doesn't he share with Meredith?
She's his sister.
- Technically, she's your sister now too.
- I am not sharing with Meredith.
- This is probably just as
difficult for Wayne as it is for you.
- You're supposed to be on my side.
- I am on your side.
I mean there are no sides,
look, things will settle down.
We all just need to give
each other a chance.
We all really need to store
some of this stuff in the basement.
- You know, sharing a room for
the first time causes
stress in 92% of cases.
- That's great Meredith,
did you look that up?
- I thought you might be interested
and in 97% of cases, the
stress resolves itself.
- Oh yeah, and how long does that take?
- Yuck.
That's not mold is it?
- No.
No, it's just a mark on the wall.
- It's probably full of bacteria.
You should get rid of it.
(low, relaxed electronic music)
(crackling)
(electric whirring)
(mysterious violin music)
Brett, there's more boxes up here.
Can you give me a hand?
- Whoa.
- [Meredith] Brett, the door's closed.
- Ah yeah, yeah.
- Brett.
- [Brett] Yeah, in a minute,
in a minute Meredith.
- Brett, it's locked.
(anxious rock tones)
Do you just need some time alone
to adjust to all the changes in your life?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, I'll wait.
You just sit there and
have some quiet time.
(anxious violin music)
(tepid flute tones)
I've read research about blended families.
We can all be happy if we try.
It just takes a bit of
understanding from everyone.
(tepid ensemble tones)
(mysterious electronic music)
(girls screaming)
(mysterious electronic, rock music)
- [Miss Murphy] Come along.
Now go check the other ones.
You shouldn't come through this area.
Meg, you have to wear your
gloves next time, I do not--
- Miss Murphy, Miss Murphy, Miss Murphy.
- Girls, girls, what on earth happened?
What are you doing outside
in your bath robes?
- Miss Murphy, there was
a boy in the showers.
- Which boy?
- I'd never seen him before.
- He must've broken in.
- It wasn't a student?
(overlapping voices)
One at a time, girls.
- He was wearing a tacky
yellow t-shirt and stupid baggy shorts.
Obviously a loser.
- Thank you, Tara.
Find Seamus, tell him I want a complete
search of the school and grounds, quickly.
(anxious mid tempo guitar music)
(scream)
(glass shatters)
- What are you doing?
It took me half an hour to fill that jar.
Wait a minute.
Who are you?
- My name's Brett Miller.
Who are you?
- Nevermind.
What are you doing here?
- Where?
- In this shed.
- I mean where is this shed?
- O'Keeffe's College.
- Where is that?
- Go away.
Ireland.
Earth.
The universe.
- Ireland?
- Okay.
Who are you really and why are you here?
(alarm blaring)
- No sign of him inside
the school, Miss Murphy.
- Well then take the boys
and search the grounds.
- Very good, Miss Murphy.
All right, in groups of two,
we'll take it section by section.
But this is no excuse for messing, though.
I'll be watchin' ya.
- All you girls,
get inside before you catch a death cold.
- Phone call for you, Miss Murphy.
- Not now, Cormac.
- It's the cops, Miss.
- The Gardai, why didn't ya say so?
(electronic warbling, beeping)
- Ah ha!
Oh.
It's only you.
- You just get weirder every day, Cormac.
- There's an intruder
on the school grounds.
This baby will pick him up,
he doesn't stand a chance.
- Since when is a metal detector
designed to pick up intruders?
- It's an infrared body
heat detector actually
and it will pick up anyone
within a range of 200 meters.
In fact,
it's just picking up a signal now.
- Do you seriously expect
anybody to believe that?
You're such a loser, Cormac.
(electronic beeping)
- He's hiding in the shed.
- I know it sounds unbelievable.
- Well, yeah.
- But it's the truth, really.
- Yeah right, you were magically
transported here by some strange thing
in your basement in Australia.
- I'm telling you, it is the truth
and they think I broke into
the girl's shower room.
- Yeah, yeah and now the whole
school is searching for you.
(knocking)
- Who's in there?
Oh, it's you Hannah.
- Hi, Cormac.
- My infrared body heat detector
picked up your signature.
Actually it picked it up
twice, who else is in here?
- No one.
- Are you sure?
I definitely got a double signal.
- Cormac, what are you doing here?
- Well there's an intruder in the school.
- An intruder?
- Yeah.
He broke into the girl's shower room.
The whole school is out looking for him.
- A boy in a yellow t-shirt and shorts?
- Yeah, have you seen him?
- No.
I mean,
yes.
He may have went that way, I
saw him through the window.
- Right.
Maybe it's the amplitude, I
definitely got two signals.
- Aren't ya gonna get after
him before he gets away?
- Yeah all right,
yeah okay, see ya.
- Just stay here.
I'll come back.
(anxious piano music)
- Make sure he don't get out,
look for anything yellow.
- [Hannah] Everything
all right, Miss Murphy?
- Will be when we find the intruder.
- Don't chop any of my bushes, will ya?
- [Miss Murphy] Seamus.
- No sign of him yet, Miss Murphy.
- Get everyone inside, this
intruder is an escaped prisoner.
(anxious violin, guitar tones)
(anxious piano, violin tones)
- [Meredith] Brett, are
you feeling better now?
Brett, did you hear me?
(rattling)
What was that?
Are you okay?
Brett, I'm getting worried now.
(relaxed ensemble tones)
- Don't be wandering around out there.
There's an escaped prisoner
out in the premises.
- Calm down Tara, I'm sure
the guards will find him soon.
Hanna, where do you think you're going?
- There's some stuff I forgot to put away.
- It can wait.
No one's allowed outside.
- But Miss--
- Hannah, the guards are on their way.
There's a homicidal maniac on the loose.
- [Miss Murphy] He's escaped
from a detention center, Tara.
That does not mean he's a murderer.
(sirens blaring)
(anxious violin, guitar music)
- [Officer] Suspect known to
be on grounds, unit advised.
(grunt)
- Sorry, sorry.
Brett.
- Well?
- I saw it, I went through it.
- Through the portal to Perth?
- It actually exists, you're not insane.
It's exactly like you said, it's amazing.
- It's more than amazing, it's--
- I mean one step and it's Australia,
one step back, it's Ireland.
- You didn't see anyone, did you?
- No.
No, no, the door was locked but
there was a girl there.
- Meredith.
She's my step-sister.
So the portal is real, at
least I'm not going mad.
- The thing is what do we do about it?
- I don't know, it's all too weird.
I've gotta get back and figure it out.
- No.
You'll have to get past the Gardai first.
- What's the Gardai?
- The cops.
- Cops?
Boy, you really overreact
to strangers over here.
- Well they're looking
for an escaped prisoner.
- Not for me?
- Not yet.
Don't worry, I know these
grounds like the back of my hand.
We'll get through it.
- Brett, can you hear me?
Brett, talk to me, have you hurt yourself?
Just hang on, I'm going to
go get the spare key box.
I'll be back soon.
(anxious rock music)
- [Officer] Bring up the
rear, bring up the rear there.
(anxious ensemble music)
- No problem you said.
- All right.
This isn't gonna work, back to the shed.
I've got another idea, come on.
- Hope it's better than your last one.
- Hang on Brett, I'll have
this door open in a minute.
- Brett, if you've got any of my
mini car posters in there, you're dead.
- Wayne, he could be lying
unconscious right now.
I heard a crash.
- So?
That doesn't mean he hurt himself.
- But it's strange that
he hasn't answered.
- He is strange.
- Brett, Wayne's here too now.
We're both looking for the spare key.
(mysterious ensemble music)
(sheep baaing)
- [Officer] Come on, there was
movement down between there.
- I can't see where I'm
going in this thing.
- Now remember, your name is Brenda
and you're the beekeeping clerk.
- Why do I have to have a girl's name?
- Because only people with girl's names
are allowed into the girl's showers.
- I don't want to go
near the girl's showers.
- It's the way home, remember?
- Okay, it's Brenda.
This is gonna work, isn't it?
- Of course it is as long
as you don't mess things up.
- Hey you, what are you doing outside?
(stuttering, stammering)
No excuses, all students
must remain in the school.
Back inside at once.
- But--
- [Female Officer] Come on.
(anxious rock tones)
- [Craig] Brett, can you hear me?
Open the door.
- I tried all the keys
but none of them work.
- And he hasn't said anything
since you heard that crash?
- No.
- Come out, ya loser.
- Wayne.
- All right.
This calls for drastic action.
Wayne, go and get the toolbox.
- But--
- Come on.
- But Brenda's out there somewhere.
- Okay, well I'll radio the other guards.
What does she look like?
(shouting)
Stay there.
- Get off me.
- Oh no, wait.
It's not who you think.
He's an Australian.
- Got him.
- What were you saying?
- Nothing.
(anxious ensemble tones)
- [Brett] Psst.
- Why did you give him the suit?
- He was bigger than me and he wanted it.
- Well thank you for
your help, Miss Murphy.
- Thank you, I'm glad you got him.
- Is that him?
- I'm not sure.
It doesn't look like him.
- It must be.
These people are very good at disguise,
that's why they're criminals.
- [Jackie] Brett?
Brett, are you all right sweetheart?
- Don't you worry, I'll get the door open.
- I hope he's all right, maybe
we should call an ambulance.
- You hang in there, mate.
Help is on its way.
(drill buzzing)
Stand back everyone, I'm going in.
(anxious rock music)
- Well that was lucky.
I still can't believe it.
- Yeah.
Me neither.
- I mean
one step and we're on the
other side of the world.
- I know, it's totally unreal.
Well I'd better get back,
thanks for your help.
Maybe we'll meet again sometime.
So--
- Oh, wait a minute.
When do I get to see Australia?
Come on.
You owe me.
- Okay, come on.
(relaxed guitar music)
(drill buzzing)
- We're coming, sweetheart.
- Oh no, my family.
- What?
- Get in there.
- Wait a minute.
When do I get to see
Australia.
- [Jackie] Are you all right, Brett?
- [Brett] What's going on?
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- [Jackie] We couldn't work
out what happened to you.
Meredith thought you were unconscious.
- Hey mom, you know how
you said if you could find
another way for there to be
another bedroom in this house?
- Yeah?
- Well, look around.
- [Jackie] You can't sleep in
a dingy old room like this.
- Sure I can, I want to.
- I don't know, sweetheart.
- While I was lying down here,
I did some thinking and you're right.
I should do my bit to help out.
Wayne,
mate, I want you to have my old room.
- You do?
- You do?
- Yeah, you bet.
I figured I'd been pretty selfish
about things and well Wayne,
I want you to make yourself
at home up there, it's yours.
- Gee, that's very generous of you Brett.
I'm impressed.
- No worries, Craig.
After all, we're one big,
happy family now right?
(relaxed guitar tones)
(upbeat ensemble music)
(relaxed piano tones)