Fosse/Verdon (2019) s01e01 Episode Script
Life Is A Cabaret
1 [TAPPING.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[SIGHS.]
You're a little early.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
Isn't time yet.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Can I see it? That's nice.
Then the hand.
- As I'm stepping back? - Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
That wasn't it.
Well, take it up with the choreographer.
It was his idea, not mine.
[CHUCKLES.]
Did we fire him? Oh, give the man another shot.
He's still learning.
Break the leg.
Like this? Yeah, that's nice.
Show me the reverse.
Eh.
Yours is better.
Let's do it again.
["BIG SPENDER" PLAYS.]
Dancers to set.
Standby.
Bring it over here for blocking.
Why are you standing like that? I thought this was my position.
Yeah, well, why is the character you're playing putting all of her weight on the banister like that? The choreography.
How long have you been dancing in those heels tonight? Five hours maybe? - Six, at least.
- Six.
Hey mister, can I talk to you for a minute? Got a cigarette for me, mister? Huh? All you want to do is sit down.
I mean, it is all you can think about.
You close your eyes.
You see love seats, armchairs, church pews, subway benches.
But you got a problem.
The manager's watching.
You you can't sit down in the middle of your shift.
Got that little boy at home, doesn't she? Yeah.
Depending on that paycheck.
Maybe if you can shift your weight off your heels onto the banister, just maybe you can make it through one more dance.
Uh, who's here? - [CHUCKLES.]
- Hey, Shirley.
How are ya? Good, I feel lucky I can still walk after yesterday's rehearsal.
She's a taskmaster, this one.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I learned from the best.
Need her in one piece there, Gwen.
Hey, I need to talk to you for a second.
- Yeah? - Wanna get a cup of coffee Girls.
When you're walking backwards and you roll the shoulder, it's not a seduction, it's a con job.
[GIRLS LAUGH.]
Now he doesn't know that, so [SHUSHING.]
Can you freeze right there, ladies? It's got to be tighter.
I need it tighter.
I wanna see the sweat.
I wanna see the spot where they missed their foundation.
They're too crowded together.
If you come in tight, you're going to ruin the composition.
Cut one of the dancers.
- Huh? - More room.
Yeah.
Which one? New girl on the end.
[SIGHS.]
Okay.
Sweetheart! We're re-blocking.
WOMEN: Psss! - Okay, stop.
Hold it right there.
I need you to get through to him, Gwen.
The studio is adamant.
Charity under no circumstances can use the expression, "Up Yours.
" It it it it it's obscene.
Quiet, please.
Can I tell you what I do when I'm nervous? I take three deep breaths, in and out.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
In and out.
In - [INHALES, EXHALES.]
- And out.
Better, isn't it? We're gonna have to lose another dancer.
We have to lose another dancer.
Yeah.
We have to re-block.
- We're re-blocking.
- In and out.
Everybody, we're re-blocking.
Carrie, sorry, we're gonna have to we're gonna have to lose you, okay? I'm so sorry.
We're going to find another spot for you, all right? - [BELL RINGS.]
- Mark.
- Quiet, please.
- Picture's up, everybody.
Stand by.
Scene 7, take 1.
Roll camera.
Mark.
[CLICK.]
- Rolling! - Rolling! Playback.
[BEEPING.]
The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of distinction A real big spender Good lookin', so refined Say, wouldn't you like to know What's goin' on in my mind? So, let me get right to the point I don't pop my cork for every guy I see Hey, big spender Hey, big spender! Hey, big spender Spend A little time with Me Fun, laughs, good time Fun, laughs, good time Fun, laughs, good time How about it, palsy? WOMEN: Yeah.
- Cut.
- Cutting.
[BELL RINGS.]
Okay, let's move on.
- Check the gain.
- That's good, girls.
- Nice.
- It's clear.
Moving on.
Oh, listen, I wanted to tell you.
Nicole and I stopped by the Ziegfeld on our way home.
- Hmm.
- There were people lined up all the way down to 7th Avenue to buy tickets.
Maybe they were there to see "The Love Bug.
" [GIGGLES.]
Stop.
The Ziegfeld only has one screen and you know it.
Well, but do they know that? Well, I didn't ask that.
Is that new? Yeah, I made it.
Do you like it? Can you zip me? [SIGHS.]
Going in the wrong direction.
[SMOOCHING.]
Am I? Our guests will be here in five minutes.
It's always good to - keep your audience waiting.
- [DOOR SLAMS.]
Well, I'm going to Chicago But I can't take you Well, I'm going to Chicago But I can't take you There ain't nothin' in Chicago That a girl like you can do Well, I'm going to Chicago I'm gonna take my rocking chair, baby Well, I'm going to Chicago I'm gonna take my rocking chair, baby Hey.
Okay, now, it's your bedtime.
Trade? Thank you.
Neil understands what I'm saying.
Listen to me, you're gonna be absolutely insufferable now that you're a hotshot Hollywood director, right? Next thing you know, he's gonna show up at the Carnegie Deli wearing a beret.
[CHUCKLES.]
I made one film.
One film.
Oh, it's worse than I thought.
He's already calling his movie a film.
My God, somebody put him out of his misery already.
- Listen to him.
- This is from Paddy Chayefsky, the most pretentious son of a bitch on the planet Earth.
I never said I wasn't.
I got my hands over my head.
I say, "Officer, this is all a big misunderstanding.
I'm I'm Bob Fosse.
" He says, "Who?" Do you know how many times he's told this story? It happened 15 years ago.
The guy is convinced he's caught some pervert trying to break into Gwen Verdon's rehearsal room for God knows what kind of sordid purpose.
Which, to be fair, is not entirely untrue.
- [ALL LAUGHING.]
- Touché.
I finally come out and then I say, "Officer, give me a break! I'm Gwen Verdon's husband! - I'm her husband!" - And the poor kid, he turns bright red and says, "Well, gee, why in the world didn't you say so in the first place, Mr.
Verdon?" [LAUGHTER.]
I'm busy directing Steve's new musical.
Am I the only one who liked the last one that he did with Dick? - Yeah, I think so.
- Oh.
What's this one about? A single guy who can't hold down a relationship.
His married friends all want him to get married, even though they're all miserable.
Oh, I'm on the edge of my seat.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
You know, I bet Cy is still looking for somebody to do "Cabaret," if you're interested.
- No.
- My book is already starting to fill up.
Oh, Bobby's too big-time now to do a little art musical.
I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
What are you working on these days, Gwen? Tell me.
Uh, oh, well, uh, Bobby and I have been so busy Picture of the year, Bobby.
- Oh, thanks, sweetheart.
- It's a masterpiece.
Thank you.
Thanks, sweetheart.
So when are you gonna cast me in a movie, Bobby? Uh, next one.
Next one.
I'm gonna remember you said that.
All right, all right.
Nice to see ya.
Some a change of pace.
Anyone want another drink? Now I'm only going to say this once and then I will never ever say it again.
- Please, just don't.
- It should have been you.
Okay, well, I'm glad that you've gotten it out of your system.
Now I might be a little bit buzzed.
- I think so, maybe.
- But Shirley MacLaine? Stop.
Bobby should never have replaced you.
"Charity" was your show.
Shirley was cast before Bobby was even hired.
You know, the only reason he got the job was because Shirley told the studio she wouldn't do it without him.
Be that as it may, you were the best thing about that show, and my husband wrote it.
- Stop.
- Ladies and germs.
Ladies and degenerates.
May I present Mr.
Bob Fosse.
Oh! She's the cutest.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Hey! Once more from the top! Try that.
[MUFFLED.]
Once more from the top! Dead ringer.
God help me.
I've got two actresses in the family now.
If they could see me now That little gang of mine I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact The kind of top drawer, first-rate chums I attract All I can say is wow-ee, look at where I am Tonight, I landed, pow, right in a pot of jam [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
[SINGING FADES.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING, VACUUM RUNNING.]
[RINGING.]
[RINGING.]
[CLINKING.]
Apparently, we we broke a record.
It's record breaking.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, no, I haven't heard from the studio.
What are they gonna say? Thanks for losing [LAUGHING.]
20 million bucks? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be okay.
It's only a movie.
Okay? It's just a movie.
[CHUCKLES.]
All right.
Okay, see you later.
[TRAFFIC SOUNDS.]
[SILENT.]
[SAD MUSIC.]
Oh.
Bobby.
There she is.
It's 3:00 in the morning.
Come to bed with me [CHUCKLES.]
Come.
Oh.
You must be tired.
I knew it wasn't gonna be any good.
[WHISPERS.]
Stop it.
It's not true.
Yeah, as soon I saw the set.
They turned Times Square into a, uh, Disney cartoon.
You made the movie that the studio hired you to make.
I don't know what else could you - You read the reviews? - Yes.
I read "Variety", and it is a rave.
Did you see the "Times"? I read "The Hollywood Reporter.
" I mean, they couldn't get over - "Hollywood Reporter.
" - How much they loved it.
"Variety, Hollywood Re" "'Sweet Charity' is a movie haunted by the presence of an unseen star, - Oh - "Gwen Verdon.
" - Well, that's ridiculous.
- "Although Miss MacLaine "often looks like Miss Verdon, "she never succeeds in recreating the eccentric line that gave cohesion - to the original.
" - I don't want to do this.
You're the star and you're not even in the movie.
- Bob, stop.
- [LAUGHS.]
Go to bed.
I love you.
No, come.
Let's read some more reviews.
[SIGHS.]
Let's read the "Chicago Tribune.
" This is a doozy.
[TAPPING.]
[INHALES.]
Don't show me the effort, Bobby.
Don't show me the sweat.
All I want to see is that smile.
Again, from the top.
A five, six, seven, eight.
[TAPPING.]
[TAPPING STOPS.]
[DISTANT CHATTER.]
[RATTLING.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
[SLURP.]
Yeah, well, that one came together.
I mean, it it was tough at first.
Look, the book was spectacular.
The the score was great and your work was the the choreography was brilliant.
But that was, uh, uh, that was a beauty.
That Bob, we had some good times on that show, the two of us.
You nearly killed me but, uh, putting that aside, you know.
Hey, name one show of yours that didn't nearly kill you, Bobby.
[CHUCKLES.]
What's, uh, what's keeping you busy these days? I got, uh, I got a movie I'm shooting next year.
That's, uh, "Cabaret," right? I heard you're doing the adaptation.
I loved the show.
I loved it.
What's not to love? You got homosexuals, Nazis, Jews.
It's got all the makings of a real blockbuster.
You have a director? I haven't gotten around to Nazis, but Jews and homosexuals are a specialty of mine.
I could do the steps too.
You you're gonna need a choreographer anyway.
I didn't I didn't know you were interested.
I'm very interested.
In this film, specifically? What else would I be interested in? A job.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, what about what about Gwen? Would would she be involved too? What, I'm sorry? If I can tell the studio I got Bobby and Gwen, that's that's a real draw.
Gwen's got a lot of other commitments.
I'm not sure she she could fit it in her schedule.
Well, you know, listen, Bobby, I'm I'm just producing.
Manny Wolf at the studio, he he he's the one choosing the director, but I'll put out a good word, though.
I'll go ahead and give him a call too just just to just to introduce myself.
The fact of the matter is I'm not sure this is your kind of movie.
This is, uh, it's an intimate musical drama.
It's an adult picture.
What you do and what you do really well is style.
I mean, flash.
This movie, this is I think it needs a a a different touch.
Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
Well, listen, uh, I'm just I'm so glad we got a chance to catch up.
Did you serve, Cy? Did I serve? I was in the Navy.
I was, actually.
I was in the special entertainment unit.
We had a little show we did all over the South Pacific.
Bases, hospitals.
These guys in there, they were my age.
They were kids, 19, 20.
One of them, he was 17, fudged his age to the draft board.
One side of his face was blown off.
And another kid, he was burned up so bad, they had to pump him full of morphine.
Otherwise, they said all he would do was scream.
There I was up on stage, in tap shoes.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
A big, shit-eating smile.
And we pulled out all the tricks one-footed wings, double pickups.
Flash, you could call it.
Out there, there's a war going on.
Bodies piling up, but in here? We're dancing.
Just don't look too close at the kids in the audience missing arms, missing legs you'll have a grand time.
What good is sitting alone in your room inside? Come hear the music play.
Life is a cabaret, old chum.
Come to the cabaret I'm the director for this movie, Cy.
I'm the guy.
[KNOCKING.]
I'm the guy.
I'm sure of it.
Like I said, I'll put in a good word with Manny.
Yeah? - Okay.
- Let me talk to him first.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Patience, Bobby.
Okay? Yeah.
All right.
[ELEVATOR DING.]
Hi.
Hi.
I'm, uh, I'm Bob Fosse.
Uh, okay, do you I didn't catch your name.
It's it's Jane.
Jane.
You have a terrific smile, Jane.
Terrific eyes, yeah.
I'm here to see, uh, Manny Wolf.
Is he is he expecting you? Um No, Jane.
No, he is not.
Well, when was the last time that we asked about the rights to "Chicago"? Heels are glued to the floor.
[SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC.]
I just think that it would be a perfect fit for both of us.
Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon back together on Broadway.
I think it could be a huge draw, Sam.
Lift all the way from the hips.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Well, I'm sorry, but a musical with some commercial appeal wouldn't be the end of the world.
We haven't had a hit in three years.
Is that Sam? I better run.
Good talking, bye-bye.
Bye.
Nicole has been practicing her routine all afternoon.
Look at this, look.
Look, look! She can't wait to show you.
You're calling my agent? Oh, oh, no.
We were just chatting.
You knew I wouldn't get the job.
[TSKS.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
Covering all your bases, huh? Well, what did he say? Uh He said, um I'm hired.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes! You son of a bitch! Oh, God, you had me scared to death! Liza Minnelli's playing Sally.
- Can she act? - Well, we'll find out.
Honey, we're making a movie.
[END CHORDS.]
[CROWD CLAMORING.]
- Hi, Bobby.
- Hi, Bob.
Hey kids, how's tricks? - Hey, everybody's here.
- Hi, Bobby.
- You've got some energy.
- Lots of it.
Save some.
Hey.
Hi.
Nice to see you.
You look great.
Easy on that lager, fellas.
It's a work night.
Ach du lieber or whatever they say.
[BAR MUSIC.]
What was that? I'm sorry? What you did with your arms.
Let me see that again.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, but the left hand is Don't worry, I'm a professional.
Right there.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, that's nice.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- What's your name? Hannah.
Ah, are you a dancer, Hannah? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, no.
No, I'm, uh, the translator, uh, for the production.
Bobby, darling! [SQUEALS, LAUGHS.]
Oh, I've been counting down the hours for this day to arrive.
Great to see ya.
Oh, uh, I got it cut short like Louise Brooks.
I thought it'd be perfect for the period.
Don't you love it? What if I don't? Just kidding.
Oh, you're bad! [CHUCKLES.]
You want a drink? Can we get the star a drink? [ALL LAUGHING.]
[LIVELY FOLK MUSIC.]
Hey, Mr.
Cy Feuer.
I didn't know you'd be here for this.
I hope you know how pleased I am.
Everything worked out.
Is that right? I just wish you hadn't gone over my head the way you did.
I really wished you hadn't done that.
I took one meeting with Manny.
- Yeah.
- Okay? I don't even know why I'm surprised.
You pulled the same shit with me on "How to Succeed.
" Undermining me.
Making me look like a schmuck.
Well, safe travels back to New York, Cy.
Nice to see you.
New York? What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Manny wants me here.
I'm supervising.
This is not going to be another $20 million fiasco like your last picture.
You can count on that.
[COUGHING.]
[COUGHING.]
[SCRATCH.]
A five, a six, a five, six, seven, eight.
Don't show me the effort, Bobby, don't show me the sweat.
All I want to see is that smile! Posture, Bobby.
Look, you're hunching.
Pull back the shoulders.
Again, six, seven, eight.
[VOCALIZING.]
Oh, snap and showbiz! Where's that smile? There it is.
Remember there's always somebody better than you out there, Bobby.
Always someone working harder than you.
[TAPPING, CLAPPING.]
Don't think for a second I couldn't replace you a hundred times over.
Understand? [TAPPING.]
[RATTLING.]
[TAPPING FADES.]
I thought this would be a great option.
Simple, classic, elegant.
I don't think black I mean, it's the Tonys, not a funeral.
Oh, in my experience, the two have quite a bit in common.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
I prefer funerals.
Well, they're shorter at least.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Say hello to your Aunt Joan.
Hello to your Aunt Joan.
Nancy will be so sad she missed you.
You may go now.
[PATS.]
Oh.
What caught your eye? I love this one.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, it well, it's adorable.
When are you two going to Munich? Oh, we decided it made more sense if Nicole and I just stayed home on this one.
You decided or he decided? Well, we both decided.
Please, Bobby doesn't need my help directing a movie.
You know I adore Bobby but that's not the part I'm worried about.
This too fancy? No such thing, dear.
You know that.
They're my colors.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
Besides, I don't have the time to go even if I wanted to.
You know I'm looking for a play.
My agent sent me about a hundred scripts.
A straight play? It would be nice to make something on my own again to remind people I still can What about this? For the party after? Oh, I love a little Grecian number.
I feel like for dancing, maybe if we ham it.
Absolutely.
A mini? Am I too old? - Be honest with me.
- I mean, those legs aren't too old.
Show them off.
[DISTANT CHATTER.]
[DISTANT CHATTER.]
What are we waiting for exactly? It's 11:00, we haven't gotten the first shot.
We're ten away from picture.
Bobby, I need you at camera.
- Who are these people? - Background, extras.
We need new ones.
They look like actors.
They are actors.
They're supposed to be patrons of a Berlin nightclub in 1933.
Pickpockets, perverts, prostitutes.
What do you wanna do? You wanna roam the streets of Munich now searching for prostitutes? You know where to find prostitutes? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, uh [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, she, uh, she wants to know if you two are wanting to, um, get, uh, pleasured? Uh, tell them we're not here for sex.
Uh, tell them we're casting a movie.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Has anyone ever done any acting before? - Stage? Film? - [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Does pornography count? - Why not? - [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
That's terrific.
Tell them that they're in a nightclub and there's a very funny, very entertaining act on stage.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Tell them to pretend that they're watching it and they're enjoying it.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[ALL LAUGH.]
Okay, her, her, her.
I don't need them, the rest are hired.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
She says you only picked the old women.
The ugly ones.
It's not fair.
Fair.
Tell her this is show business.
I never had to translate before in a brothel.
Well, you can check that off your list.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yes.
You know, when I was, uh, when I was a kid, I used to dance in places like that with women like that.
When you were a kid? Yeah.
You started as a dancer? Mm-hmm.
Well, when did you decide you wanted to be a director? I never wanted to be a director.
All I ever wanted to be was Fred Astaire.
[CHUCKLES.]
What happened? Well It turns out, I I wasn't Fred Astaire.
Aww.
Show me.
- Right now? - Mm-hmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, very, very good.
Oh! [CHUCKLES.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
I have a boyfriend.
I won't hold it against you.
[CHUCKLES.]
And you are married.
[SIGHS.]
You know, we're on a different continent.
I think there's a special exemption for that, right? [SIZZLING.]
[CLINKING.]
"Because you've taught me that part of love which is tender.
" Oh darn, is that me? [SIGHS.]
[READING UNDER BREATH.]
"Oh, Jaques, we're used to each other" [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
"We're a pair of captive hawks caught in the same cage, and so we've grown used to each other?" Is that right? - Hello, Fosse residence.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I can't believe that's right! - Mrs.
Fosse, - Thank you, dear.
Hello? Yes, this is her mother.
Bye, bye And snap [SNAPPING.]
I want to see every move isolated.
Every move.
I want to see every muscle, every tendon.
Do do Focus is front, Caitlyn.
And again.
Here we go.
And seven, eight, and Doo, doo! [SNAPPING.]
[LINE TRILLING.]
- [LINE RINGING.]
- [SNAPPING CONTINUES.]
[CLINKING.]
[LINE TRILLING.]
It was a fine affair - But now it's over - Bllll! And though I used to care I need the open air I saw some of the footage you're getting, Bobby.
It's too dark.
You're you're not putting enough light on the scenes.
It's a nightclub, Cy.
Nightclubs are dark.
I always said that I was a rover You need to pull out, ladies.
Legs up! You mustn't knit your brow 90 degrees, ladies, not 60.
You've every cause to doubt me, mein herr Let's work from the top, please.
I'm sorry, ladies.
Once more from the top.
It was a fine affair but now it's over [LINE TRILLING.]
And though I used to care I need the open air You're better off without me mein herr Watch that line.
It's not working.
I need you to pull out, ladies.
- Legs, legs.
- We've gotta shoot.
Come on, shoot something.
Come on, what are we - What are we doing? - And every cause to Doubt me, mein herr And again.
How much time do I have? - Ten away from picture.
- It's still not right.
- It's still not working.
- Can we shoot? - Why isn't this working? - Five, six, seven, eight.
- Hand! - I can't tell a thing if you're marking it, ladies.
What am I seeing? I don't know what I'm seeing.
And again.
Yes, please give him the message.
You.
And also, if you could tell him that his daughter brought a bottle of Seconal to school, that would be wonderful.
You're doing this wrong every time.
Is there a reason you're doing it wrong every time? - Seconal.
S-E-C-O - And again.
And again.
- And again.
And again.
Again.
- N-A-L.
- Seconal.
- Why are you stopping? Why are we stopping? Oh, it's my pleasure.
Thank you.
Bye.
Why why are we not shooting? Somebody tell me what What the hell is going on here? Can we take it again from "fine affair"? - What's happening? - We're rehearsing.
What? Where where is everybody? - Bob cleared the set.
- What? Cameras were supposed to be rolling two hours ago.
- It was a fine - Affair I don't what are we doing? We're just waiting for Bob to approve wardrobe for the scene.
Wardrobe? Okay, all right, you know what? I need ladies back in their trailers.
Get into costume.
Well, I'd love to do that, Cy, but unfortunately there's no costumes.
What do you mean there's no You've been shown 50 different options! Well, nobody's shown me what I want.
You don't know what you want! - I know exactly what I want.
- Really? But you keep whispering in everyone's ear that this is supposed to look like a goddamn musical.
It is a goddamn musical.
I'm trying to do something original and you don't understand it.
I don't understand it? Okay, this this is the excuse of every insecure artist.
I don't understand? And it makes you uncomfortable.
You know what? It's flash.
You you doing flash.
This is exactly what I said in the beginning.
All right, I'm not going to be bullied into making another candy-coated family-friendly Yeah, you got your little bag of tricks in there, but there's no substance.
So what do you do? You turn off all the lights and then we're supposed to think you're some kind of cinematic genius? Tell me one thing you've done for me in this movie.
- One me thing.
- I'll tell ya two.
I hired ya and so far I haven't fired ya.
As I was saying, you may go.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[SLAMS.]
[SOMBER JAZZ.]
[SCRATCH.]
[RATTLING.]
[SCRATCH.]
[TAPPING.]
[CLAMORING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[CLATTERING.]
[CLATTERING.]
[DIAL TONE.]
[HANGS UP.]
[CLATTERING.]
[ROTARY PHONE DIALING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
[RINGING.]
Hello? How are you, kid? Uh, it's me.
[SIGHS.]
Well, where have you been? I I've just been, uh I've been meaning to call, I just, uh You didn't get my messages? Uh, yeah yeah.
It's just been it's been, uh It's just been It's been so hectic and [SIGHS.]
Listen, I It'd be great to get you here for a few days.
You know, maybe, uh, get your get your eyes on some of the numbers.
We're, um What do you think about that? [SIGHS.]
Am I going to be unhappy when I get there? No, of course not.
Why would you be unhappy? I need you.
I need you here, Gwen.
Come on, what do you say? Well, um Well, let me just see what I can do.
Okay, okay.
You're the best.
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye, Bob.
Hmm.
[CLICK.]
[SNIFFING.]
- So, I saw - [CHUCKLES.]
This in the closet.
And I thought, well, now that is Sally Bowles to a tee.
[GASPS.]
It is absolutely gorgeous! And with the green nail polish.
- What about this? - Oh.
What about this for, um, for "Mein Herr"? What do I wear underneath? Um, a button down? Oh, no.
No.
Nothing underneath.
Trust me, she'll be stunning.
[CHUCKLING.]
So I brought you my favorite kimonos [SCRATCH.]
Why are you wearing all this makeup? The character you're playing.
Maybe she doesn't want to be recognized.
Now that's interesting.
Maybe she used to be a society girl.
Then she met the wrong man.
He swindled her for all she's worth and now she's shaking her rump for tips.
Open.
Beautiful.
Most of the first verse will play in the close-up.
And then you want to widen? Yeah, little fragments throughout.
On the snare.
I'm glad you're here.
They told me you were here.
I didn't believe it.
- Cy! - Hey, look at you.
- Oh! - [SMOOCH.]
Everything looks marvelous! You know you're going to make a fantastic picture.
Well, if only you can get your husband to pick up the pace a little bit.
Can we have a pleasant conversation for five minutes? - He's a pain in the ass, Cy.
- Yeah.
Oh, you think I don't know that better than anyone? - All right.
- Guilty as charged.
Go, go, go.
Okay, I better get back to work.
Pick up the pace.
[CHUCKLES.]
Picking up? - He's making it so dark, Gwen.
- What? He's he's he's treating it like it's some sort of I don't know, Italian neorealist nightmare or something, but listen, I promised the studio a Broadway musical.
Yes, with some social import but not this - What? - It isn't right.
Okay, this this is his answer to every question.
It isn't right.
It's it's ugly.
It's funny! It's not supposed to be funny.
What are you what is it's a comedic number.
The number, exactly, not the costume.
This is a joke on top of a joke.
I don't know what that what? The character is singing a love song about a gorilla.
It's not a joke gorilla, it's a gorilla-gorilla.
Then when the bottom drops out If you could see her through my eyes She wouldn't look Jewish at all.
It's a gut punch.
I understand the scene.
You realize, all at once, you've allowed yourself to be entertained by a monster and if you're busy laughing at the joke gorilla, you miss the whole thing.
That's what Bob's saying.
She should be beautiful.
He's in love with her.
I've been to every studio in Munich.
- Every studio in Berlin.
- Could you walk away? This is the only gorilla suit in Germany.
You know, you throw a rock in New York City and you'll hit one.
The number shoots in three days.
That's plenty of time.
Oh, so someone's gonna fly to New York, find a gorilla suit, and then immediately fly back to Munich in 72 hours? I'll do it.
You saw what happened with "Sweet Charity" - Well - And with "Doctor Doolittle," and with "Star.
" Each one of them a big, fat flop! Kids in the jungle are being zipped into body bags on the evening news.
Richard Nixon is our president, God help us.
People aren't going to the movies to escape anymore.
They're going to find something true.
Well, I wish you had been here from the start.
He needs you.
I just know how to speak Bob.
It's my native tongue.
God bless.
[SMOOCH.]
- I'm glad you're here.
- I am too.
["MEIN HERR" PLAYS.]
Bye, bye, mein Lieber herr Farewell, mein lieber herr It was a fine affair But now it's over And though I used to care I need the open air You're better off without me, mein herr Don't dab your eye, mein herr Or wonder why, mein herr I've always said that I was a rover You mustn't knit your brow You should have known by now You've every cause to doubt me, mein herr Bye bye, mein lieber herr Auf wiedersehen, mein herr Es war sehr gut, mein herr, und vorbei Du kennst mich wohl, mein herr Ach, lebe wohl, mein herr Du sollst mich nie mehr sehen, mein herr Bye bye, mein herr Mein herr Auf wiedersehen Es war sehr gut Und vorbei - Du kennst mich wohl - Mein herr Ach, lebe wohl Du sollst mich nie And bye-bye Bye bye mein lieber herr Farewell mein lieber herr It was a fine affair but now it's over And though I used to care, I need the open air You're better off without me You'll get on without me Auf wiedersehen Es war sehr gut Mein herr Cut.
[APPLAUSE.]
[BELL RINGING.]
What did I do to deserve you? [CHUCKLES.]
You know, I don't know.
Hey.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Thank you.
When I come back - I promise.
- Okay.
["CABARET" PLAYS.]
I used to have this girlfriend known as Elsie With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower As a matter of fact, she rented by the hour The day she died the neighbors came to snicker Well, that's what comes from too much pills and liquor [CLINKING.]
But when I saw her laid out like a queen She was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen I think of Elsie to this very day I remember how she'd turn to me And say There you are.
What I said the other day, Bobby.
That's water water under the bridge, Cy.
Don't worry about it.
All right, well, you and Gwen make a hell of a team.
What good is sitting all alone in your room? Come hear the music play Life is a cabaret Old chum Come to the cabaret - [ELEVATOR DINGS.]
- And as for me, And as for me I made my mind up, back in Chelsea When I go I'm going like Elsie Start by admitting From cradle to tomb It isn't that long a stay Life is a cabaret, old chum Hello? Gorilla delivery! It's only a cabaret, old chum And I love a cabaret [SIGHS.]
I told you the curtain is at 7:00.
[SIGHS.]
God, you look magnificent.
[TAPPING.]
Let's go.
It's time.
["WILLKOMMEN" PLAYS.]
[SINGING IN GERMAN.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[SIGHS.]
You're a little early.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
Isn't time yet.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Can I see it? That's nice.
Then the hand.
- As I'm stepping back? - Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
That wasn't it.
Well, take it up with the choreographer.
It was his idea, not mine.
[CHUCKLES.]
Did we fire him? Oh, give the man another shot.
He's still learning.
Break the leg.
Like this? Yeah, that's nice.
Show me the reverse.
Eh.
Yours is better.
Let's do it again.
["BIG SPENDER" PLAYS.]
Dancers to set.
Standby.
Bring it over here for blocking.
Why are you standing like that? I thought this was my position.
Yeah, well, why is the character you're playing putting all of her weight on the banister like that? The choreography.
How long have you been dancing in those heels tonight? Five hours maybe? - Six, at least.
- Six.
Hey mister, can I talk to you for a minute? Got a cigarette for me, mister? Huh? All you want to do is sit down.
I mean, it is all you can think about.
You close your eyes.
You see love seats, armchairs, church pews, subway benches.
But you got a problem.
The manager's watching.
You you can't sit down in the middle of your shift.
Got that little boy at home, doesn't she? Yeah.
Depending on that paycheck.
Maybe if you can shift your weight off your heels onto the banister, just maybe you can make it through one more dance.
Uh, who's here? - [CHUCKLES.]
- Hey, Shirley.
How are ya? Good, I feel lucky I can still walk after yesterday's rehearsal.
She's a taskmaster, this one.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I learned from the best.
Need her in one piece there, Gwen.
Hey, I need to talk to you for a second.
- Yeah? - Wanna get a cup of coffee Girls.
When you're walking backwards and you roll the shoulder, it's not a seduction, it's a con job.
[GIRLS LAUGH.]
Now he doesn't know that, so [SHUSHING.]
Can you freeze right there, ladies? It's got to be tighter.
I need it tighter.
I wanna see the sweat.
I wanna see the spot where they missed their foundation.
They're too crowded together.
If you come in tight, you're going to ruin the composition.
Cut one of the dancers.
- Huh? - More room.
Yeah.
Which one? New girl on the end.
[SIGHS.]
Okay.
Sweetheart! We're re-blocking.
WOMEN: Psss! - Okay, stop.
Hold it right there.
I need you to get through to him, Gwen.
The studio is adamant.
Charity under no circumstances can use the expression, "Up Yours.
" It it it it it's obscene.
Quiet, please.
Can I tell you what I do when I'm nervous? I take three deep breaths, in and out.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
In and out.
In - [INHALES, EXHALES.]
- And out.
Better, isn't it? We're gonna have to lose another dancer.
We have to lose another dancer.
Yeah.
We have to re-block.
- We're re-blocking.
- In and out.
Everybody, we're re-blocking.
Carrie, sorry, we're gonna have to we're gonna have to lose you, okay? I'm so sorry.
We're going to find another spot for you, all right? - [BELL RINGS.]
- Mark.
- Quiet, please.
- Picture's up, everybody.
Stand by.
Scene 7, take 1.
Roll camera.
Mark.
[CLICK.]
- Rolling! - Rolling! Playback.
[BEEPING.]
The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of distinction A real big spender Good lookin', so refined Say, wouldn't you like to know What's goin' on in my mind? So, let me get right to the point I don't pop my cork for every guy I see Hey, big spender Hey, big spender! Hey, big spender Spend A little time with Me Fun, laughs, good time Fun, laughs, good time Fun, laughs, good time How about it, palsy? WOMEN: Yeah.
- Cut.
- Cutting.
[BELL RINGS.]
Okay, let's move on.
- Check the gain.
- That's good, girls.
- Nice.
- It's clear.
Moving on.
Oh, listen, I wanted to tell you.
Nicole and I stopped by the Ziegfeld on our way home.
- Hmm.
- There were people lined up all the way down to 7th Avenue to buy tickets.
Maybe they were there to see "The Love Bug.
" [GIGGLES.]
Stop.
The Ziegfeld only has one screen and you know it.
Well, but do they know that? Well, I didn't ask that.
Is that new? Yeah, I made it.
Do you like it? Can you zip me? [SIGHS.]
Going in the wrong direction.
[SMOOCHING.]
Am I? Our guests will be here in five minutes.
It's always good to - keep your audience waiting.
- [DOOR SLAMS.]
Well, I'm going to Chicago But I can't take you Well, I'm going to Chicago But I can't take you There ain't nothin' in Chicago That a girl like you can do Well, I'm going to Chicago I'm gonna take my rocking chair, baby Well, I'm going to Chicago I'm gonna take my rocking chair, baby Hey.
Okay, now, it's your bedtime.
Trade? Thank you.
Neil understands what I'm saying.
Listen to me, you're gonna be absolutely insufferable now that you're a hotshot Hollywood director, right? Next thing you know, he's gonna show up at the Carnegie Deli wearing a beret.
[CHUCKLES.]
I made one film.
One film.
Oh, it's worse than I thought.
He's already calling his movie a film.
My God, somebody put him out of his misery already.
- Listen to him.
- This is from Paddy Chayefsky, the most pretentious son of a bitch on the planet Earth.
I never said I wasn't.
I got my hands over my head.
I say, "Officer, this is all a big misunderstanding.
I'm I'm Bob Fosse.
" He says, "Who?" Do you know how many times he's told this story? It happened 15 years ago.
The guy is convinced he's caught some pervert trying to break into Gwen Verdon's rehearsal room for God knows what kind of sordid purpose.
Which, to be fair, is not entirely untrue.
- [ALL LAUGHING.]
- Touché.
I finally come out and then I say, "Officer, give me a break! I'm Gwen Verdon's husband! - I'm her husband!" - And the poor kid, he turns bright red and says, "Well, gee, why in the world didn't you say so in the first place, Mr.
Verdon?" [LAUGHTER.]
I'm busy directing Steve's new musical.
Am I the only one who liked the last one that he did with Dick? - Yeah, I think so.
- Oh.
What's this one about? A single guy who can't hold down a relationship.
His married friends all want him to get married, even though they're all miserable.
Oh, I'm on the edge of my seat.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
You know, I bet Cy is still looking for somebody to do "Cabaret," if you're interested.
- No.
- My book is already starting to fill up.
Oh, Bobby's too big-time now to do a little art musical.
I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
What are you working on these days, Gwen? Tell me.
Uh, oh, well, uh, Bobby and I have been so busy Picture of the year, Bobby.
- Oh, thanks, sweetheart.
- It's a masterpiece.
Thank you.
Thanks, sweetheart.
So when are you gonna cast me in a movie, Bobby? Uh, next one.
Next one.
I'm gonna remember you said that.
All right, all right.
Nice to see ya.
Some a change of pace.
Anyone want another drink? Now I'm only going to say this once and then I will never ever say it again.
- Please, just don't.
- It should have been you.
Okay, well, I'm glad that you've gotten it out of your system.
Now I might be a little bit buzzed.
- I think so, maybe.
- But Shirley MacLaine? Stop.
Bobby should never have replaced you.
"Charity" was your show.
Shirley was cast before Bobby was even hired.
You know, the only reason he got the job was because Shirley told the studio she wouldn't do it without him.
Be that as it may, you were the best thing about that show, and my husband wrote it.
- Stop.
- Ladies and germs.
Ladies and degenerates.
May I present Mr.
Bob Fosse.
Oh! She's the cutest.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Hey! Once more from the top! Try that.
[MUFFLED.]
Once more from the top! Dead ringer.
God help me.
I've got two actresses in the family now.
If they could see me now That little gang of mine I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact The kind of top drawer, first-rate chums I attract All I can say is wow-ee, look at where I am Tonight, I landed, pow, right in a pot of jam [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
[SINGING FADES.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING, VACUUM RUNNING.]
[RINGING.]
[RINGING.]
[CLINKING.]
Apparently, we we broke a record.
It's record breaking.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, no, I haven't heard from the studio.
What are they gonna say? Thanks for losing [LAUGHING.]
20 million bucks? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be okay.
It's only a movie.
Okay? It's just a movie.
[CHUCKLES.]
All right.
Okay, see you later.
[TRAFFIC SOUNDS.]
[SILENT.]
[SAD MUSIC.]
Oh.
Bobby.
There she is.
It's 3:00 in the morning.
Come to bed with me [CHUCKLES.]
Come.
Oh.
You must be tired.
I knew it wasn't gonna be any good.
[WHISPERS.]
Stop it.
It's not true.
Yeah, as soon I saw the set.
They turned Times Square into a, uh, Disney cartoon.
You made the movie that the studio hired you to make.
I don't know what else could you - You read the reviews? - Yes.
I read "Variety", and it is a rave.
Did you see the "Times"? I read "The Hollywood Reporter.
" I mean, they couldn't get over - "Hollywood Reporter.
" - How much they loved it.
"Variety, Hollywood Re" "'Sweet Charity' is a movie haunted by the presence of an unseen star, - Oh - "Gwen Verdon.
" - Well, that's ridiculous.
- "Although Miss MacLaine "often looks like Miss Verdon, "she never succeeds in recreating the eccentric line that gave cohesion - to the original.
" - I don't want to do this.
You're the star and you're not even in the movie.
- Bob, stop.
- [LAUGHS.]
Go to bed.
I love you.
No, come.
Let's read some more reviews.
[SIGHS.]
Let's read the "Chicago Tribune.
" This is a doozy.
[TAPPING.]
[INHALES.]
Don't show me the effort, Bobby.
Don't show me the sweat.
All I want to see is that smile.
Again, from the top.
A five, six, seven, eight.
[TAPPING.]
[TAPPING STOPS.]
[DISTANT CHATTER.]
[RATTLING.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
[SLURP.]
Yeah, well, that one came together.
I mean, it it was tough at first.
Look, the book was spectacular.
The the score was great and your work was the the choreography was brilliant.
But that was, uh, uh, that was a beauty.
That Bob, we had some good times on that show, the two of us.
You nearly killed me but, uh, putting that aside, you know.
Hey, name one show of yours that didn't nearly kill you, Bobby.
[CHUCKLES.]
What's, uh, what's keeping you busy these days? I got, uh, I got a movie I'm shooting next year.
That's, uh, "Cabaret," right? I heard you're doing the adaptation.
I loved the show.
I loved it.
What's not to love? You got homosexuals, Nazis, Jews.
It's got all the makings of a real blockbuster.
You have a director? I haven't gotten around to Nazis, but Jews and homosexuals are a specialty of mine.
I could do the steps too.
You you're gonna need a choreographer anyway.
I didn't I didn't know you were interested.
I'm very interested.
In this film, specifically? What else would I be interested in? A job.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, what about what about Gwen? Would would she be involved too? What, I'm sorry? If I can tell the studio I got Bobby and Gwen, that's that's a real draw.
Gwen's got a lot of other commitments.
I'm not sure she she could fit it in her schedule.
Well, you know, listen, Bobby, I'm I'm just producing.
Manny Wolf at the studio, he he he's the one choosing the director, but I'll put out a good word, though.
I'll go ahead and give him a call too just just to just to introduce myself.
The fact of the matter is I'm not sure this is your kind of movie.
This is, uh, it's an intimate musical drama.
It's an adult picture.
What you do and what you do really well is style.
I mean, flash.
This movie, this is I think it needs a a a different touch.
Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
Well, listen, uh, I'm just I'm so glad we got a chance to catch up.
Did you serve, Cy? Did I serve? I was in the Navy.
I was, actually.
I was in the special entertainment unit.
We had a little show we did all over the South Pacific.
Bases, hospitals.
These guys in there, they were my age.
They were kids, 19, 20.
One of them, he was 17, fudged his age to the draft board.
One side of his face was blown off.
And another kid, he was burned up so bad, they had to pump him full of morphine.
Otherwise, they said all he would do was scream.
There I was up on stage, in tap shoes.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
A big, shit-eating smile.
And we pulled out all the tricks one-footed wings, double pickups.
Flash, you could call it.
Out there, there's a war going on.
Bodies piling up, but in here? We're dancing.
Just don't look too close at the kids in the audience missing arms, missing legs you'll have a grand time.
What good is sitting alone in your room inside? Come hear the music play.
Life is a cabaret, old chum.
Come to the cabaret I'm the director for this movie, Cy.
I'm the guy.
[KNOCKING.]
I'm the guy.
I'm sure of it.
Like I said, I'll put in a good word with Manny.
Yeah? - Okay.
- Let me talk to him first.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Patience, Bobby.
Okay? Yeah.
All right.
[ELEVATOR DING.]
Hi.
Hi.
I'm, uh, I'm Bob Fosse.
Uh, okay, do you I didn't catch your name.
It's it's Jane.
Jane.
You have a terrific smile, Jane.
Terrific eyes, yeah.
I'm here to see, uh, Manny Wolf.
Is he is he expecting you? Um No, Jane.
No, he is not.
Well, when was the last time that we asked about the rights to "Chicago"? Heels are glued to the floor.
[SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC.]
I just think that it would be a perfect fit for both of us.
Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon back together on Broadway.
I think it could be a huge draw, Sam.
Lift all the way from the hips.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Well, I'm sorry, but a musical with some commercial appeal wouldn't be the end of the world.
We haven't had a hit in three years.
Is that Sam? I better run.
Good talking, bye-bye.
Bye.
Nicole has been practicing her routine all afternoon.
Look at this, look.
Look, look! She can't wait to show you.
You're calling my agent? Oh, oh, no.
We were just chatting.
You knew I wouldn't get the job.
[TSKS.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
Covering all your bases, huh? Well, what did he say? Uh He said, um I'm hired.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes! You son of a bitch! Oh, God, you had me scared to death! Liza Minnelli's playing Sally.
- Can she act? - Well, we'll find out.
Honey, we're making a movie.
[END CHORDS.]
[CROWD CLAMORING.]
- Hi, Bobby.
- Hi, Bob.
Hey kids, how's tricks? - Hey, everybody's here.
- Hi, Bobby.
- You've got some energy.
- Lots of it.
Save some.
Hey.
Hi.
Nice to see you.
You look great.
Easy on that lager, fellas.
It's a work night.
Ach du lieber or whatever they say.
[BAR MUSIC.]
What was that? I'm sorry? What you did with your arms.
Let me see that again.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, but the left hand is Don't worry, I'm a professional.
Right there.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, that's nice.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- What's your name? Hannah.
Ah, are you a dancer, Hannah? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, no.
No, I'm, uh, the translator, uh, for the production.
Bobby, darling! [SQUEALS, LAUGHS.]
Oh, I've been counting down the hours for this day to arrive.
Great to see ya.
Oh, uh, I got it cut short like Louise Brooks.
I thought it'd be perfect for the period.
Don't you love it? What if I don't? Just kidding.
Oh, you're bad! [CHUCKLES.]
You want a drink? Can we get the star a drink? [ALL LAUGHING.]
[LIVELY FOLK MUSIC.]
Hey, Mr.
Cy Feuer.
I didn't know you'd be here for this.
I hope you know how pleased I am.
Everything worked out.
Is that right? I just wish you hadn't gone over my head the way you did.
I really wished you hadn't done that.
I took one meeting with Manny.
- Yeah.
- Okay? I don't even know why I'm surprised.
You pulled the same shit with me on "How to Succeed.
" Undermining me.
Making me look like a schmuck.
Well, safe travels back to New York, Cy.
Nice to see you.
New York? What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Manny wants me here.
I'm supervising.
This is not going to be another $20 million fiasco like your last picture.
You can count on that.
[COUGHING.]
[COUGHING.]
[SCRATCH.]
A five, a six, a five, six, seven, eight.
Don't show me the effort, Bobby, don't show me the sweat.
All I want to see is that smile! Posture, Bobby.
Look, you're hunching.
Pull back the shoulders.
Again, six, seven, eight.
[VOCALIZING.]
Oh, snap and showbiz! Where's that smile? There it is.
Remember there's always somebody better than you out there, Bobby.
Always someone working harder than you.
[TAPPING, CLAPPING.]
Don't think for a second I couldn't replace you a hundred times over.
Understand? [TAPPING.]
[RATTLING.]
[TAPPING FADES.]
I thought this would be a great option.
Simple, classic, elegant.
I don't think black I mean, it's the Tonys, not a funeral.
Oh, in my experience, the two have quite a bit in common.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
I prefer funerals.
Well, they're shorter at least.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Say hello to your Aunt Joan.
Hello to your Aunt Joan.
Nancy will be so sad she missed you.
You may go now.
[PATS.]
Oh.
What caught your eye? I love this one.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, it well, it's adorable.
When are you two going to Munich? Oh, we decided it made more sense if Nicole and I just stayed home on this one.
You decided or he decided? Well, we both decided.
Please, Bobby doesn't need my help directing a movie.
You know I adore Bobby but that's not the part I'm worried about.
This too fancy? No such thing, dear.
You know that.
They're my colors.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
Besides, I don't have the time to go even if I wanted to.
You know I'm looking for a play.
My agent sent me about a hundred scripts.
A straight play? It would be nice to make something on my own again to remind people I still can What about this? For the party after? Oh, I love a little Grecian number.
I feel like for dancing, maybe if we ham it.
Absolutely.
A mini? Am I too old? - Be honest with me.
- I mean, those legs aren't too old.
Show them off.
[DISTANT CHATTER.]
[DISTANT CHATTER.]
What are we waiting for exactly? It's 11:00, we haven't gotten the first shot.
We're ten away from picture.
Bobby, I need you at camera.
- Who are these people? - Background, extras.
We need new ones.
They look like actors.
They are actors.
They're supposed to be patrons of a Berlin nightclub in 1933.
Pickpockets, perverts, prostitutes.
What do you wanna do? You wanna roam the streets of Munich now searching for prostitutes? You know where to find prostitutes? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, uh [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, she, uh, she wants to know if you two are wanting to, um, get, uh, pleasured? Uh, tell them we're not here for sex.
Uh, tell them we're casting a movie.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Has anyone ever done any acting before? - Stage? Film? - [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Does pornography count? - Why not? - [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
That's terrific.
Tell them that they're in a nightclub and there's a very funny, very entertaining act on stage.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Tell them to pretend that they're watching it and they're enjoying it.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[ALL LAUGH.]
Okay, her, her, her.
I don't need them, the rest are hired.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
She says you only picked the old women.
The ugly ones.
It's not fair.
Fair.
Tell her this is show business.
I never had to translate before in a brothel.
Well, you can check that off your list.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yes.
You know, when I was, uh, when I was a kid, I used to dance in places like that with women like that.
When you were a kid? Yeah.
You started as a dancer? Mm-hmm.
Well, when did you decide you wanted to be a director? I never wanted to be a director.
All I ever wanted to be was Fred Astaire.
[CHUCKLES.]
What happened? Well It turns out, I I wasn't Fred Astaire.
Aww.
Show me.
- Right now? - Mm-hmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, very, very good.
Oh! [CHUCKLES.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
I have a boyfriend.
I won't hold it against you.
[CHUCKLES.]
And you are married.
[SIGHS.]
You know, we're on a different continent.
I think there's a special exemption for that, right? [SIZZLING.]
[CLINKING.]
"Because you've taught me that part of love which is tender.
" Oh darn, is that me? [SIGHS.]
[READING UNDER BREATH.]
"Oh, Jaques, we're used to each other" [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
"We're a pair of captive hawks caught in the same cage, and so we've grown used to each other?" Is that right? - Hello, Fosse residence.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I can't believe that's right! - Mrs.
Fosse, - Thank you, dear.
Hello? Yes, this is her mother.
Bye, bye And snap [SNAPPING.]
I want to see every move isolated.
Every move.
I want to see every muscle, every tendon.
Do do Focus is front, Caitlyn.
And again.
Here we go.
And seven, eight, and Doo, doo! [SNAPPING.]
[LINE TRILLING.]
- [LINE RINGING.]
- [SNAPPING CONTINUES.]
[CLINKING.]
[LINE TRILLING.]
It was a fine affair - But now it's over - Bllll! And though I used to care I need the open air I saw some of the footage you're getting, Bobby.
It's too dark.
You're you're not putting enough light on the scenes.
It's a nightclub, Cy.
Nightclubs are dark.
I always said that I was a rover You need to pull out, ladies.
Legs up! You mustn't knit your brow 90 degrees, ladies, not 60.
You've every cause to doubt me, mein herr Let's work from the top, please.
I'm sorry, ladies.
Once more from the top.
It was a fine affair but now it's over [LINE TRILLING.]
And though I used to care I need the open air You're better off without me mein herr Watch that line.
It's not working.
I need you to pull out, ladies.
- Legs, legs.
- We've gotta shoot.
Come on, shoot something.
Come on, what are we - What are we doing? - And every cause to Doubt me, mein herr And again.
How much time do I have? - Ten away from picture.
- It's still not right.
- It's still not working.
- Can we shoot? - Why isn't this working? - Five, six, seven, eight.
- Hand! - I can't tell a thing if you're marking it, ladies.
What am I seeing? I don't know what I'm seeing.
And again.
Yes, please give him the message.
You.
And also, if you could tell him that his daughter brought a bottle of Seconal to school, that would be wonderful.
You're doing this wrong every time.
Is there a reason you're doing it wrong every time? - Seconal.
S-E-C-O - And again.
And again.
- And again.
And again.
Again.
- N-A-L.
- Seconal.
- Why are you stopping? Why are we stopping? Oh, it's my pleasure.
Thank you.
Bye.
Why why are we not shooting? Somebody tell me what What the hell is going on here? Can we take it again from "fine affair"? - What's happening? - We're rehearsing.
What? Where where is everybody? - Bob cleared the set.
- What? Cameras were supposed to be rolling two hours ago.
- It was a fine - Affair I don't what are we doing? We're just waiting for Bob to approve wardrobe for the scene.
Wardrobe? Okay, all right, you know what? I need ladies back in their trailers.
Get into costume.
Well, I'd love to do that, Cy, but unfortunately there's no costumes.
What do you mean there's no You've been shown 50 different options! Well, nobody's shown me what I want.
You don't know what you want! - I know exactly what I want.
- Really? But you keep whispering in everyone's ear that this is supposed to look like a goddamn musical.
It is a goddamn musical.
I'm trying to do something original and you don't understand it.
I don't understand it? Okay, this this is the excuse of every insecure artist.
I don't understand? And it makes you uncomfortable.
You know what? It's flash.
You you doing flash.
This is exactly what I said in the beginning.
All right, I'm not going to be bullied into making another candy-coated family-friendly Yeah, you got your little bag of tricks in there, but there's no substance.
So what do you do? You turn off all the lights and then we're supposed to think you're some kind of cinematic genius? Tell me one thing you've done for me in this movie.
- One me thing.
- I'll tell ya two.
I hired ya and so far I haven't fired ya.
As I was saying, you may go.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[SLAMS.]
[SOMBER JAZZ.]
[SCRATCH.]
[RATTLING.]
[SCRATCH.]
[TAPPING.]
[CLAMORING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[CLATTERING.]
[CLATTERING.]
[DIAL TONE.]
[HANGS UP.]
[CLATTERING.]
[ROTARY PHONE DIALING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
[RINGING.]
Hello? How are you, kid? Uh, it's me.
[SIGHS.]
Well, where have you been? I I've just been, uh I've been meaning to call, I just, uh You didn't get my messages? Uh, yeah yeah.
It's just been it's been, uh It's just been It's been so hectic and [SIGHS.]
Listen, I It'd be great to get you here for a few days.
You know, maybe, uh, get your get your eyes on some of the numbers.
We're, um What do you think about that? [SIGHS.]
Am I going to be unhappy when I get there? No, of course not.
Why would you be unhappy? I need you.
I need you here, Gwen.
Come on, what do you say? Well, um Well, let me just see what I can do.
Okay, okay.
You're the best.
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye, Bob.
Hmm.
[CLICK.]
[SNIFFING.]
- So, I saw - [CHUCKLES.]
This in the closet.
And I thought, well, now that is Sally Bowles to a tee.
[GASPS.]
It is absolutely gorgeous! And with the green nail polish.
- What about this? - Oh.
What about this for, um, for "Mein Herr"? What do I wear underneath? Um, a button down? Oh, no.
No.
Nothing underneath.
Trust me, she'll be stunning.
[CHUCKLING.]
So I brought you my favorite kimonos [SCRATCH.]
Why are you wearing all this makeup? The character you're playing.
Maybe she doesn't want to be recognized.
Now that's interesting.
Maybe she used to be a society girl.
Then she met the wrong man.
He swindled her for all she's worth and now she's shaking her rump for tips.
Open.
Beautiful.
Most of the first verse will play in the close-up.
And then you want to widen? Yeah, little fragments throughout.
On the snare.
I'm glad you're here.
They told me you were here.
I didn't believe it.
- Cy! - Hey, look at you.
- Oh! - [SMOOCH.]
Everything looks marvelous! You know you're going to make a fantastic picture.
Well, if only you can get your husband to pick up the pace a little bit.
Can we have a pleasant conversation for five minutes? - He's a pain in the ass, Cy.
- Yeah.
Oh, you think I don't know that better than anyone? - All right.
- Guilty as charged.
Go, go, go.
Okay, I better get back to work.
Pick up the pace.
[CHUCKLES.]
Picking up? - He's making it so dark, Gwen.
- What? He's he's he's treating it like it's some sort of I don't know, Italian neorealist nightmare or something, but listen, I promised the studio a Broadway musical.
Yes, with some social import but not this - What? - It isn't right.
Okay, this this is his answer to every question.
It isn't right.
It's it's ugly.
It's funny! It's not supposed to be funny.
What are you what is it's a comedic number.
The number, exactly, not the costume.
This is a joke on top of a joke.
I don't know what that what? The character is singing a love song about a gorilla.
It's not a joke gorilla, it's a gorilla-gorilla.
Then when the bottom drops out If you could see her through my eyes She wouldn't look Jewish at all.
It's a gut punch.
I understand the scene.
You realize, all at once, you've allowed yourself to be entertained by a monster and if you're busy laughing at the joke gorilla, you miss the whole thing.
That's what Bob's saying.
She should be beautiful.
He's in love with her.
I've been to every studio in Munich.
- Every studio in Berlin.
- Could you walk away? This is the only gorilla suit in Germany.
You know, you throw a rock in New York City and you'll hit one.
The number shoots in three days.
That's plenty of time.
Oh, so someone's gonna fly to New York, find a gorilla suit, and then immediately fly back to Munich in 72 hours? I'll do it.
You saw what happened with "Sweet Charity" - Well - And with "Doctor Doolittle," and with "Star.
" Each one of them a big, fat flop! Kids in the jungle are being zipped into body bags on the evening news.
Richard Nixon is our president, God help us.
People aren't going to the movies to escape anymore.
They're going to find something true.
Well, I wish you had been here from the start.
He needs you.
I just know how to speak Bob.
It's my native tongue.
God bless.
[SMOOCH.]
- I'm glad you're here.
- I am too.
["MEIN HERR" PLAYS.]
Bye, bye, mein Lieber herr Farewell, mein lieber herr It was a fine affair But now it's over And though I used to care I need the open air You're better off without me, mein herr Don't dab your eye, mein herr Or wonder why, mein herr I've always said that I was a rover You mustn't knit your brow You should have known by now You've every cause to doubt me, mein herr Bye bye, mein lieber herr Auf wiedersehen, mein herr Es war sehr gut, mein herr, und vorbei Du kennst mich wohl, mein herr Ach, lebe wohl, mein herr Du sollst mich nie mehr sehen, mein herr Bye bye, mein herr Mein herr Auf wiedersehen Es war sehr gut Und vorbei - Du kennst mich wohl - Mein herr Ach, lebe wohl Du sollst mich nie And bye-bye Bye bye mein lieber herr Farewell mein lieber herr It was a fine affair but now it's over And though I used to care, I need the open air You're better off without me You'll get on without me Auf wiedersehen Es war sehr gut Mein herr Cut.
[APPLAUSE.]
[BELL RINGING.]
What did I do to deserve you? [CHUCKLES.]
You know, I don't know.
Hey.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Thank you.
When I come back - I promise.
- Okay.
["CABARET" PLAYS.]
I used to have this girlfriend known as Elsie With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower As a matter of fact, she rented by the hour The day she died the neighbors came to snicker Well, that's what comes from too much pills and liquor [CLINKING.]
But when I saw her laid out like a queen She was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen I think of Elsie to this very day I remember how she'd turn to me And say There you are.
What I said the other day, Bobby.
That's water water under the bridge, Cy.
Don't worry about it.
All right, well, you and Gwen make a hell of a team.
What good is sitting all alone in your room? Come hear the music play Life is a cabaret Old chum Come to the cabaret - [ELEVATOR DINGS.]
- And as for me, And as for me I made my mind up, back in Chelsea When I go I'm going like Elsie Start by admitting From cradle to tomb It isn't that long a stay Life is a cabaret, old chum Hello? Gorilla delivery! It's only a cabaret, old chum And I love a cabaret [SIGHS.]
I told you the curtain is at 7:00.
[SIGHS.]
God, you look magnificent.
[TAPPING.]
Let's go.
It's time.
["WILLKOMMEN" PLAYS.]
[SINGING IN GERMAN.]