Gintama (2005) s01e01 Episode Script

Gin Tama Fight fair Fair? [Lake Toya.]
Gimme a break! Ah! He's getting away! He's running for his life! Get him! Since the Sword Ban nobody does this chanbara stuff anymore! Gintoki Sakata.
Trademark: naturally-wavy hair.
Has a sweet tooth and high blood-sugar.
And he's kinda the main character.
Stop! Sorry, but I have a TV show to watch at four.
Gin! Shinpachi? Gin, help me! Shinpachi Shimura.
The straight man.
Working for Gintoki in hopes of finding the samurai spirit.
Hey, why are you letting them chase you like that? I don't know! Nobody wants to be chased! Anyway, run for it! Stop! We've got you now Whoa! Gin! There's no one here! Kagura.
Member of the "Yato Clan", the most powerful warrior race in the universe.
She's cute but has a sharp tongue.
Um What's this? Sadaharu, Kagura's pet.
A mysterious, giant space creature.
Geez, pay attention! I think they're pissed.
K-Kagura.
You'd better get out of here! Hurry up, "Lady's Four" is about to start.
The host, Toshio Shiba, will wait for us! After them! Hold it! No! A dead end End of the line for you.
What are you talking about? We let you catch us.
You should be thankful! What? You losers! You're the ones running all over town.
You should talk! What group do you belong to? Anyway, you're the spy who came to find our secret.
Before we cut you down, I'll ask you again.
Who are you? Who are we? Hah All right, since you asked We do anything from housework to finding missing persons! If you're in trouble, just come to us! We'll take any case.
We'll take any kind of job as long as we get paid.
We're Odd Jobs Gin! Odd Jobs? You mean, you'll do anything? I see.
That's why you snuck into our factory facility and There it is! That must be it! That's Kuromi of Yamatoya! Come on.
Have some pickled seaweed.
Hey, you damned cat! Wait! They were looking for a cat? [Hi, nice to meet you.
Welcome to the anime series, Gin Tama.
.]
[It's written as "Gin" for silver and "Tama" for soul.
.]
[Don't write "Kin Tama" by accident, because that means "testicles"!.]
[We're gonna kick off with a one hour special!.]
[The Plot Thus Far.]
The land of the samurai.
There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
With the arrival of the "Amanto" from outer space and the Sword Ban twenty years ago, the samurai class fell into decline.
In such hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai.
His name is Gintoki Sakata.
Kagura and I, Shinpachi Shimura, work at Odd Jobs Gin, which is coincidentally run by this guy.
Which reminds me, we've been working for him for about a year now, but I don't think he's paid us yet.
["You Jerks! And You Claim to Have Gin Tama?!".]
Mr.
Kariya has arrived! Yo! Yo! I can't hear you! Again! Yo! Yo! Still not enough! Care to try it again? No, there's no time.
I see [Kariya Shishimura.]
Today's guest characters.
[Shimomoto Puu.]
They're definitely not regulars.
Oh, hi, Mr.
Kariya.
Thank you for coming all this way.
Dispense with the intros So, how is that matter we talked about going? Fine.
Everything is going very well.
First, please take a look at this proposal.
The goal of the project "This project is " I have no idea what this means! Is this a presentation for the spring anime season or what?! Please forgive me.
There.
The Shinsengumi.
A special government police force.
Hijikata.
Vice-chief of Shinsengumi.
He's the brains.
Okita.
One of the Shinsengumi's best swordsmen.
Yamazaki, sit-rep? They're in a private meeting in the back room on the second floor.
Four of them: one Amanto, two businessmen and one tough-looking ronin Great Let's go! Speaking of the Amanto device, which we obtained with Mr.
Kariya's support We just finished assembling it at our secret factory.
All we need to do is get it into position.
If this project succeeds, all of Edo will fall under my control.
That's right, Mr.
Kariya.
This is a raid! It's the Shinsengumi! Everyone stay still! Sogo! Come on! Okay! Freeze, Shinsengumi! Good-bye, Vice-chief.
Hope you enjoy sucking on mayonnaise in the next world.
Hey, Sogo, what are you doing here? Hey, were you trying to kill me?! No way, it was a joke.
A joke, you know? I'm always doing that.
You mean you're always trying to kill me?! Anyway, Hijikata, it seems that all our efforts end in failure.
Well Not really [Odd Jobs Gin.]
Ah I'm too old to be reading JUMP.
But I just bought it.
That's right, Gin.
Reading manga like that won't fill your stomach.
Your blood-sugar level will remain the same.
I know, but I'm addicted to it.
I keep thinking I won't buy the next one, but Gin, this doesn't look good.
I know.
Someone my age shouldn't be reading JUMP.
Yeah, and your onigiri taste terrible.
That's not what I'm talking about! Look at this! A bankbook? Hah, you can't fool me.
You can't eat that.
We won't be able to eat anything, not even rice! Our balance is almost zero, so I feel really blue! We failed to catch the missing cat yesterday, so it was all for nothing! Calm down.
You're the little punk who failed to buy JUMP, are you? Having no money is just a condition, like chronic nasal infection, you know? Get used to it.
Having no money is our destiny.
You think you're being defiant? I'm not talking about JUMP! I said we're in a pinch! Even bread crust would be like a feast tomorrow! This is A nasal infection? It's an earthquake, moron! It stopped.
We're having a lot of earthquakes lately.
Yeah.
It's shaking like a high school boy who has to simultaneously confront all five girls who asked him out.
As if that ever happens.
But it could happen in JUMP.
Customer? It can't be.
It's probably a newspaper salesman or something.
Shinpachi, if he's from anywhere other than the Nikkei, tell him that we subscribe already and send him away.
And if he is from Nikkei, send him away gently, like the rising sun.
Yes, I'm coming! We're already subscribed to a newspaper.
Huh? Um I'm here because I heard you guys will take any job.
No Shinpachi, what are you doing? "Lady's Four" is about to start! I heard this is Odd Jobs Gin.
frigging What's wrong? Can't get rid of this guy? He's not trying to strongarm you, is he? This is Odd Jobs, right? way! No frigging way! Hello? Hello? Hey, all three of you.
You can't be Are you a client?! Ken Kato.
Ronin.
This episode's client.
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Ken Kato.
I've been a ronin for a few days now.
Hey, what's going on? We've had clients two days in row?! Must be a special version of the show! H-Here's some tea for you.
Hot! Oops! Um You're really in for it if this is a joke! What? You're shocked and getting uppity? So what can we do for you? Well, I want to get something back that I lost.
Something very important to me.
Well, what did you lose? Well I need about thirty million yen to get it back.
Listen, baldy! I said you were in for it if this was a joke, remember?! What's an easy way to earn money? Every time I grab it, it runs through my fingers Ah-ha, that's it! Every time you move your hand, we go further into the red! But I heard you would take any kinds of jobs for troubled people.
We can't even pay our rent now! There's no way we can take care of someone's business! Don't come here again! Calm down, both of you.
So, what would you do with the money if you had it? A month ago, I ended up as dead weight at the company and got laid off.
And three weeks ago, I was swindled and lost my house.
Then two weeks ago, my wife and daughter left me, without even leaving a note.
And one week ago Why did you stop?! Spit it out! Do tragedies like this befall you every single week?! Tell us what happened to you last week! Would you like to hear the rest? Why will he tell us the rest only after we complete the job? Whatever, I'm sure we won't be able to complete this job.
Um Where are we going? All right The point is that we get the money as quickly as possible, right? Welcome Oh, it's you guys.
Otose.
Proprietor of Otose Snack House and Gintoki's landlord.
I see.
You guys are such dopes.
If you could make money that quickly, there would be no thieves in the world! Idiots! So says the ex-thief! Indeed.
Catherine.
Works for Snack House Otose.
She came to Earth as a migrant worker.
Well, there might be one way So, what'll it be? Well Um You've got two of those, so why don't you sell one? You'd sell one if you were a real man! This isn't gonna work.
So disappointing.
You're just a big talker.
It's not going to happen if you're not prepared, right? Forget it.
It won't happen.
Oh hello, everyone.
Fancy meeting you here! Ayame Sarutobi.
Nickname: Sachan.
An elite ninja and a former a member of the Oniwabanshu.
What? A way to get money quickly? Sachan, why don't you put your glasses on? You're getting on everyone's nerves.
I don't care if your character looks like mine.
What are you talking about? I couldn't care less about you.
All I care about is you, Gin.
See?! I told you it would help to put on your glasses! I see.
So the money you were talking about is not for the purchase of our little love nest? Our love nest? Man, I can't even bear to think about sitting next to you at the diner.
Always so cold, as usual.
But I don't give up so easily.
And what's with the natto, anyway? [natto = fermented soy beans; popular as a diet food.]
Just holding on to it isn't gonna help you you'll lose weight.
Seriously.
Oh? Do you think that pushing me away is going to make me happy? Stop blabbering, and do something with the natto, you natto woman! Here we go! That's it! Just like that! More! More! Just keep blasting away at me! You're really turning me on! What's this? It stinks! What's that smell? Smells like natto and masochism.
Kato.
Yo, Kato.
How's it going? Well, uh I bet that was hard on you, huh?! You put your seal on a contract like that? You'd better be more careful as to what you agree to.
Too bad.
We know you're hard up.
Huh? How did you know? Anyway, what have you been doing lately? Well, I'm trying to work hard and buy my house back Buy it back? That'll never happen.
Because Hey W-Well That's right Well, let us know when you find a house.
We'll at least send a New Year's card when you do, Kato.
Take a bath! Brush your teeth! See you next week! Hey, you Yes? Maybe you oughta rethink your request.
I'm available for assassination jobs since I'm a professional killer.
Let's kill them! Why don't we roll them up and throw 'em into the ditch now?! No, wait.
I'm changing my request.
But it's not going to be assassination.
I want to be stronger! We got it! Hey, everyone Well, at any rate, we can jack up his hit points another hundred or so.
So where are you going, Gin? I have something to take care of.
That's all.
I see.
Oh, so this is a blueprint Isao Kondo.
Commander of the Shinsengumi.
Strikes fear in the hearts of others.
By the way, Hijikata I have no idea what this says I've been trying to explain that this is a blueprint for an Amanto device, Kondo! I see.
Some sort of device Yes, and someone seems to be planning to use that device for some heinous deed here in Edo.
Toshi What does "heinous deed" mean? You haven't heard a word I said! [Drift Star Embassy.]
An embassy? Gintoki.
Zura? It's not Zura.
It's Katsura.
Kotaro Katsura.
Member of the exclusionist rebels.
An activist trying to rid Edo of aliens called Amanto.
Elizabeth.
What the hell is this? Gintoki, what are you doing here? Well you know, jogging, taking a walk, something like that I'm not really sure, you know Very well.
What do you mean? I heard some dangerous rumors around here.
Rumors? I've heard about an Amanto who's plotting to destroy all of Edo.
Why would an Amanto do something like that? I don't know But if it's true, we must punish them.
Gintoki, I don't know what you're going to do, but you'd better be careful.
The Embassy is considered foreign soil.
Foreign soil I should be careful, then.
Later, Zura.
It's not Zura.
It's Katsura.
That hat is so out of style.
Okay! Why don't you give it a try? He can't do that! What are you talking about? It's easy! Suppress your inner "self" and even you can look like Antonio Inoki.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Okay, you can start any time.
Right What? Your eyes are bloodshot.
Were you up all night playing Tetris? The game is just about to begin.
Give it a rest.
Something bad could happen if you swing that toy around like that.
Did he notice my sword cane? Whatever, but can you at least tell me why you're trying to kill me? Don't play dumb! We already know you're nosing around.
Wrong.
That was Zura.
It wasn't me.
No more discussion! An earthquake? You're leaving yourself wide open! You think you'll become stronger like that?! Dumbass! You're surprisingly intense.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Are you all right? Get up! Stand up! Katoken! Listen! Keep your elbows close to your body and strike, strike, and strike! Wait! That's a jab.
That won't work for tomorrow, right? It doesn't have anything to do with swordsmanship! Cross Namida Bridge carefully! It looks like it's my turn.
I'll make you stronger! Stronger! L-Like this? More! More! Oh yes! That's it.
Good! How about this?! You have potential.
What is this training for? What kind of potential does he have?! As a dominatrix He's a man! Anyway, that's not the point! Oh, you're very patient! You'll get another appetizer! Untie me now! Um Thank you so much, but that's enough.
I don't think I'll ever get any stronger.
I give up Huh? B-But So I'll just leave.
Katoken Boy, my best clothes ruined.
My mom is going to be really mad, you bastard! You'd better be more worried about your life than your clothes! Who is Shishimura, Gintoki's mysterious attacker? And what heinous deed is Kariya the Amanto planning? Did Kato really give up? It's time to say good-bye to those who live in a certain area.
For the rest of you, please keep watching! [To be continued.]