Gortimer Gibbon's Life on Normal Street (2014) s01e01 Episode Script
Gortimer vs. the Frog of Ultimate Doom
[mysterious music]
I'VE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE
ON NORMAL STREET.
THERE'S A QUIET LAKE
AT ONE END
AND A FOREST OF SHADY TREES
AT THE OTHER.
AND SOMEWHERE IN-BETWEEN
IS AN OLD LADY IN AN OLD HOUSE
SITTING ON TOP
OF ULTIMATE DOOM.
THAT'S ME.
GORTIMER GIBBON.
AND YES, I'M COVERED IN MUD.
IT'S EVERYWHERE,
IN MY EARS, UNDER MY EYELIDS,
EVEN IN MY UNDERWEAR.
THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND RANGER.
RANGER AND I HAVE BEEN
FRIENDS FOR SO LONG
OUR MOTHERS USED TO PUT US
IN THE BATH TOGETHER.
QUIT STALLING.
I CAN'T TAKE MY SHOES OFF.
THEY'RE ALREADY RUINED.
THAT'S MY OTHER
BEST FRIEND MEL.
HER NAME'S REALLY MELODY,
BUT NOBODY CALLS HER THAT.
LET'S JUST GET THIS
OVER WITH.
IF YOU'RE WONDERING
HOW COME I'M COVERED IN MUD,
WELL, IT ALL STARTED
WITH A BROKEN WATERMELON
AND KIND OF SPIRALED
OUT OF CONTROL FROM THERE.
[exhales]
HIT IT.
[Beethoven's Ode to Joy]
IT WAS THE HOTTES
DAY OF THE YEAR
FOR THE THIRD DAY IN A ROW.
AND IT WAS ONLY
9:00 IN THE MORNING.
SHOULDN'T SUMMER
BE OVER BY NOW?
THIS ISN'T FAIR.
IT WAS SO HOT,
INSTEAD OF EATING HIS POPSICLE,
RANGER APPLIED I
DIRECTLY TO HIS BODY.
AHH.
HE WAS STARTING TO CRACK.
YOUR POPSICLE IS PUDDLING.
IT'S NOT NATURAL,
THIS HEAT.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
MAYBE IT'S SOME
KIND OF PUNISHMENT.
FOR WHAT?
CHOPPING DOWN
THE RAINFORESTS.
ABUSING FOSSIL FUELS.
REALITY TV SHOWS.
I DON'T KNOW.
REALITY TV SHOWS
DON'T CORRELATE
WITH THE SEASONAL CHANGES
IN TEMPERATURE.
PEAS AND CARROTS.
I'M SO HOT I THINK MY BRAINS
ARE GONNA MELT OUT MY EARS.
WE WERE TRYING TO HELP
RANGER SWEAR LESS
BY GETTING HIM TO SAY FOOD NAMES
INSTEAD OF CURSE WORDS.
GARDNER, GET INSIDE.
MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS ALWAYS
SNEAKING THINGS INTO MY POCKETS
WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING.
NO. STOP I DON'T WANT
MOM, GARDNER'S TRYING
TO GIVE ME SOMETHING.
OH.
[chuckles]
HONEY, IT'S JUST HIS WAY
OF SAYING, "BE MY FRIEND."
I THINK IT'S
HIS WAY OF SAYING,
"I WANT TO PUT DIR
IN YOUR POCKET."
[blows raspberry]
AND WHAT'S HE SAYING NOW?
"I LOVE YOU?"
WELL, IT WOULDN'
HURT YOU TO SAY IT.
MOM.
GARDNER NEEDS
MORE SWIM DIAPERS.
HOW FAST CAN YOU
GET TO THE STORE?
IT'S TOO HOT TO WALK.
SON, YOU'LL BE FINE.
YOUR BROTHER NEEDS TO STAY COOL
IN THE POOL TODAY.
YOU KNOW
HOW OVERHEATED HE GETS.
YOU CAN GET YOURSELF
AN ARCTIC SLUDGY.
COME ON.
YOU GUYS COMING?
FINE.
IF I DON'T MAKE IT BACK,
YOU GUYS CAN SPLIT UP
MY STUFF.
[sighs]
MY BROTHER GETS NOTHING.
[shoes squeaking]
MY SHOES HAD COLLECTED
FIVE BLOCKS WORTH OF LEG SWEAT.
IT'S SAID THAT THE PECULIAR
SOUNDS THAT THE MACHINE MAKES
WHEN BIRTHING
AN ARCTIC SLUDGY
ARE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS
SCREAMING IN PROTEST.
HAVE YOU GOT IT ALL?
EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR?
IT WAS A RARE THING TO SEE
MS. HUDSPITH
OUTSIDE OF HER HOUSE.
SHE WAS FAMOUS ONCE,
FOR SOME REASON,
UNTIL SHE WENT BLIND.
THE WATERMELON,
THE DUCT TAPE
ONE GENUINE SILVER FORK,
ON SPECIAL ORDER.
AH, STERLING SILVER.
YES, I BELIEVE SO.
WELL, IS IT OR ISN'T IT, EGG?
BE CERTAIN.
RANGER HAD ACTUALLY TRIED TO
REACH OUT TO MS. HUDSPITH ONCE
ON DO A GOOD DEED DAY.
HE OFFERED UP ONE OF
HIS MOM'S SIGNATURE BROWNIES,
WHICH NO HUMAN BEING
BORN ON THIS EARTH
IS PHYSICALLY ABLE TO RESIST.
[sniffs]
OH
STERLING. I'M CERTAIN.
I ALSO ORDERED A BROOM HANDLE.RIGHT HERE.
MUST HAVE THE PROPER
HEFT AND BALANCE.
WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S YOUR BROOM.I WANTED A BROOM HANDLE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH
THIS STRAW STUCK ON ONE END?
WELL, MS. HUDSPITH,
MOST PEOPLE SWEEP WITH IT.
DON'T GET SMART, EGG.
THIS IS MY LIFE
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
MY LIFE.
both: OH!
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
I'M SORRY, MS. HUDSPITH.
WHO'S THERE?
IS THAT THE GIBBON BOY?
GORTIMER?
YES, MA'AM.
MY WATERMELON,
IS IT RUINED?
TELL THE TRUTH, NOW.
IT STILL LOOKS
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT?
OKAY, BYE.
HEY, BUD.
MS. HUDSPITH JUST CALLED.
SHE WANTS YOU TO COME OVER
RIGHT AWAY.
NOW?
YOU KNOW, BEFORE YOU
AND YOUR BROTHER CAME ALONG,
I USED TO STOP BY ALL THE TIME
AND CHECK ON HER.
THINK OF HER AS FAMILY.
SHE'S REACHING OUT,
GORTIMER.
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT A WATERMELON?
[laughs]
COME HERE, BUDDY.
HEY, I KNOW THIS HOUSE.
IT'S THE LADY THA
TRASHED MY BROWNIE.
PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
YOU JUST DON'T THROW AWAY
BAKED GOODS LIKE THAT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
SHE WANTS?
I WANT YOU TO GET RID
OF THAT FROG.
I BROUGHT YOU
AN APOLOGY MELON.
SHOULD YOU BE USING CARPENTRY
TOOLS LIKE THAT, MS. HUDSPITH?
OH, I'M CAPABLE OF A LOT MORE
THAN A BOY LIKE YOU KNOWS.
DID I EVER TELL YOU
HOW I LOST MY SIGHT?
WE NEVER ACTUALLY
TALKED BEFORE TODAY.
[mouths silently]
GET OUT!
LISTEN, HOW 'BOU
I LEAVE THIS HERE AND GO?
I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU.
[metal scraping]
I GAVE UP A LO
TO BE A FASHION MODEL.
FAMILY, FRIENDS,
EVEN MY SELF RESPECT.
THEY SAY BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU WISH FOR
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET IT.
WHAT THEY MEAN IS
THERE'S A HIDDEN PRICE
THEY DON'T TELL YOU ABOUT.
WISHES ARE NEVER FREE.
YOU GAVE YOUR SIGH
FOR A WISH?
I GAVE NOTHING.
MY SIGHT WAS TAKEN FROM ME.
ME, A RADIANT BEAUTY, GRACING
BILLBOARDS ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
SEEN AND ADORED BY MILLIONS.
ME, WHO COULD NO LONGER
SEE ANYTHING.
WAS IT AN ACCIDENT?
IT WAS A FROG.
THE FROG.
AND NOW HE'S COME BACK FOR MORE.
WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO GIVE?
NOT SO FAST.
OH, MY GRAVY.
SHE'S SPEAR FISHING
FOR WATERMELON.
GORTIMER, GET OUTTA THERE!
SHE HAS REALLY GOOD AIM
FOR A BLIND
HE TAUNTS ME.
DON'T YOU HEAR IT?
DAY AND NIGHT, CALLING.
LISTEN.
WHAT WAS THAT?
I HEAR IT EVERY MINUTE
OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY.
HE'S COME BACK.
AND HE'S BROUGH
THE HEAT WITH HIM.
HE MEANS TO ROAST US ALL
UNTIL HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS.
TAKE IT.
IF YOU EVER WANT TO FEEL
A COOL BREEZE
FOR THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE, TAKE IT.
IT'S IN
THE CRAWLSPACE BENEATH.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH THIS, EXACTLY?
OH, SAVE ME, GORTIMER.
SAVE US ALL.
ARE YOU REALLY GONNA
KILL A FROG WITH A FORK?
THOUGHT IF I JUST POKED I
A LITTLE IT MIGHT JUST HOP AWAY.
ARE YOU SURE
IT IS A FROG?
- WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?
- COULD BE A TOAD.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE?
TAXONOMICALLY SPEAKING
THERE'S NO REAL DISTINCTION.
PORK AND BEANS!
OF COURSE THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
TOADS HAVE POISON GLANDS
BEHIND THEIR EYES.
THEY CAN SQUIRT POISON AT YOU
WITH THEIR EYES.
[sighs] THAT'S
A RARE ADAPTATION.
AND ANYWAY,
IT'S NOT THE EYES.
THERE'S A SPECIALIZED GLAND
BEHIND THE EYES
THAT SPRAYS THE POISON.
HMM.
YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD
THE TALE MS. HUDSPITH SPUN.
SOMETHING ABOUT A WISH
AND THE FROG AND THE HEAT.
THE FROG OF ULTIMATE DOOM?
MY GRANDPA TOLD ME THAT ONCE.
DIDN'T I EVER TELL YOU GUYS?
OKAY, SO ONCE,
THERE WAS THIS KID
AND HE WANTED TO MAKE A WISH.
SO HE RUNS TO THE TOP
OF WISHING HILL
AT THE END OF NORMAL STREET.
HE WISHES FOR WINTER TO END
SO HIS FAMILY WOULDN'
LOSE ALL THEIR CROPS.
HE WAITS TO HEAR
THE COIN HIT THE WATER,
BUT IT NEVER MAKES A SOUND.
HE LOWERS THE BUCKET,
BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE A SPLASH.
AND THEN AND THEN
UH, WAIT.
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
HOW DOES THIS PART GO?
OH, YEAH, SO THEN THIS KID
CATCHES SOMETHING HEAVY
AND HAULS IT UP.
AND THERE IN THE BUCKE
IS THE FROG OF ULTIMATE DOOM.
THE FROG SAID
HE'D GRANT THE BOY'S WISH.
BUT IT DEMANDED
MORE THAN A COIN.
"HOLD OUT YOUR HAND,"
THE FROG SAYS.
CHOMP!
BITES A FINGER RIGHT OFF.
AND THAT WAS THE COS
OF THE WISH.
SOME WISHES COST MORE
THAN OTHERS, APPARENTLY.
BUT THE BOY GO
HIS WISH, RIGHT?
WELL, SUMMER CAME THAT DAY
AND THE CROPS WERE SAVED.
UNTIL A FEW MONTHS LATER
WHEN SUMMER DIDN'T END.
THE CROPS WITHERED
AND THE SUN KEPT BURNING.
BUT THE HEAT ENDED
AT SOME POINT.
SOMEONE HAD TO BEA
THE FROG OF DOOM.
HUH?
OH YEAH.
THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT, LIKE,
A FORK OF DESTINY OR SOMETHING.
OR MAYBE THAT WAS ANOTHER STORY.
I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.
BUT THE FINGER CHOMPING?
THAT IS HARD TO FORGET.
WAIT A MINUTE.
FORK OF DESTINY?
LEAVE IT TO RANGER TO SKATE
RIGHT OVER THE MOST IMPORTAN
PART OF THE STORY.
WHATEVER WAITED FOR ME
UNDER THAT HOUSE,
I WANTED TO BE PREPARED.
YOU'LL NEED PROTECTION FOR THE
EYES, SOMETHING FOR THE FINGERS.
[upbeat music]
HERE WE GO.
THE FORK OF DESTINY.
DON'T DROP IT.
- LET'S KICK SOME FROG BUTT?
- [sighs]
THE MIND IS THE ULTIMATE
BATTLEGROUND.
DON'T LET HIM
GET IN YOUR HEAD.
AND KEEP YOUR FINGERS OU
OF CHOMPING RANGE AT ALL TIMES.
WHAT'S THAT FOR?
SO WE CAN RETRIEVE
YOUR CORPSE.
EMERGENCY ESCAPE SYSTEM.
TUG THREE TIMES
AND WE'LL PULL YOU OUT.
OR WHATEVER'S
LEFT OF YOU.
GIVE ME A SOUND CHECK.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
KEEP TALKING
SO WE KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE.
MAKING PROGRESS.
JUST GET IN THERE, POKE THA
FROG, AND GET OUT, GORTIMER.
HEAT UP
THE FRYING PAN, MEL.
WE'RE HAVING FROG LEGS
FOR DINNER.
[all scream]
SPIDERS.
WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?
KEEP MOVING, GORTIMER.
UGH. I'M ALLERGIC TO MOLD.
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
[static over earpiece]
IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, MEL,
I'M PRESSING ON.
[frog croaking]
THE FROG OF ULTIMATE DOOM.
I'M SORRY,
BUT SUMMER HAS TO END.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE?
THE RADIO WENT DEAD.
DID YOU GET HIM?
MS. HUDSPITH!
MS. HUDSPITH!
GORTIMER, IS IT
IS IT OVER?
I WAS JUST A KID MYSELF
WHEN THIS STORY BEGAN.
OH, I WAS YOUNG ONCE.
AND MISERABLE.
I HAD SUCH BIG DREAMS.
BUT I LIVED IN A SMALL TOWN.
WHOA. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
YOU MADE THESE DESIGNS,
MS. HUDSPITH?
OH, FOR A LONG TIME
THAT WAS AS CLOSE
AS I DARE COME TO MY DREAM.
THEN ONE DAY
THE HOTTEST DAY IN MEMORY,
AS IT HAPPENED,
EVERYTHING CAME TO A BOIL.
I RAN TO THE WISHING WELL.
I HAD NO COIN TO OFFER.
- THE ONLY THING OF VALUE
- THE RING.
I DROPPED IT INTO THE WELL.
AND I WISHED.
I WISHED SO HARD.
THEN HE APPEARED.
I HAD NEVER SEEN A BOY
SO BEAUTIFUL.
HE LOOKED AT ME WITH THOSE
STRANGE, SAD EYES.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT THEN,
I DIDN'T SEE IT,
BUT WHAT WAS
IN THOSE EYES WAS LOVE.
I HELD OUT MY HAND.
HE SMILED THA
BEAUTIFUL SMILE
AND SLIPPED THE RING
ON MY FINGER.
EVERYTHING CHANGED.
I WAS EVERYWHERE.
I WAS IN DEMAND.
I HAD BECOME EVERYTHING
I WANTED TO BE AND MORE.
I WAS LIVING MY DREAM.
BUT LIKE ALL DREAMS,
THIS ONE CAME TO AN ABRUPT END.
THE BOY REAPPEARED ONE NIGHT.
I HADN'T NOTICED
UNTIL THAT MOMEN
THAT I WAS STILL WEARING
THE RING ALL THOSE YEARS.
HE THOUGHT I HAD
PROMISED MYSELF TO HIM.
BUT ALL I DID WAS MAKE A WISH.
A PROMISE TO MYSELF TO KEEP
WORKING FOR MY DREAM.
I DID THE WORK,
I PUT IN THE HOURS,
I SURVIVED,
IT WAS MY TRIUMPH.
I OWED NOTHING TO ANYONE.
SO I THREW THE RING
BACK IN HIS FACE AND I RAN.
THAT WAS THE LAST TIME
I SAW HIM.
THAT WAS THE LAST TIME
I SAW ANYTHING.
THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
HE HAS CURSED MY LIFE
WITH MISFORTUNE EVER SINCE.
MAN YOU HAVE ALL THE LUCK.
[frog croaks]
[shudders]
ARE YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANT A HELME
OR SHOULDER PADS
OR SOMETHING?
NO. I JUST WAN
TO TALK TO HIM.
WHAT ABOU
THE FORK OF DESTINY?
I DROPPED THE FORK WHEN I WAS
IN THERE THE FIRST TIME.
SON OF A BLUEBERRY,
GORTIMER.
YOU DON'T DROP ANYTHING
WITH "DESTINY" IN THE NAME.
THAT IS WHY IT SAYS "DESTINY."
SO THERE WILL BE NO DROPPAGE.
I'M GOING IN.
- GOT IT?
- I'M GOOD.
HELLO?
WE NEED TO TALK.
I'M NOT LEAVING WHOA!
[grunts]
UM, I CAN STILL
GET OUT OF HERE, RIGHT?
OKAY, LOOK
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS,
BUT I TALKED TO HER
AND SHE'S JUS
NOT INTERESTED.
SHE JUST KIND OF MOVED ON.
I'M SORRY IF THIS ISN'
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.
WHATEVER SHE PROMISED YOU SHE'S
NEVER GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU
NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU WAIT.
OKAY, LOOK, WE CAN'T BE STUCK
IN SUMMER FOREVER.
YOU HAVE TO END THIS.
YOU HAVE TO LET HER GO
AND MOVE ON.
SHE'S ALREADY GIVEN UP
HER SIGHT.
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
POISON EYES.
OH
[coughing]
WAIT, IT'S
STOP CRYING.
IT'S NOT A BAD THING
TO BE FR FR
HEATSTROKE.
HE PASSED OUT.
OH, TURNIPS.
OH, RADISHES. OH
- CARROTS!
- RANGER, FOCUS.
WE HAVE TO COOL
HIM DOWN QUICKLY.
OH, I'M ON IT.
HEY, THAT'S MY GRANDMA'S
PITCHER!
RANGER!
I WILL BRING IT BACK!
[gasping]
WHAT THE BEAN DIP?
- YOU FAINTED.
- I SAID A SWEAR.
- OH. I WON'T TELL.
- OKAY.
WHAT HAPPENED
IN THERE?
I FAILED.
THE ARCTIC SLUDGY
WAS COURTESY OF MEL.
SHE WALKED ALL THE WAY TO
THE CONVENIENCE STORE AND BACK
IN THE RAGING HEA
JUST TO GET IT FOR ME.
I FELL ASLEEP BEFORE
I COULD FINISH IT.
BUT I WOKE TO A SOUND I HADN'
HEARD IN A LONG, LONG TIME.
[rain pouring]
AND JUST LIKE THAT, THE SUMMER
THAT WOULDN'T END WAS OVER.
[phone rings]
HELLO?
GORTIMER, COME QUICKLY.
THE CRAWLSPACE IS FLOODING.
IS HE IN THERE?
HE'LL DROWN DOWN THERE.
GORTIMER, HELP HIM, PLEASE.
HELLO?
HEY, KID FROG.
FROG KID!
ARE YOU IN HERE?
YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
RANGER WILL BE SO PLEASED.
[screams]
GORTIMER?
GORTIMER!
WHAT HAPPENED?
I'M HERE, MS. HUDSPITH.
GORTIMER?
HE'S GONE,
MS. HUDSPITH.
OH
NOW THAT THE HEA
HAD FINALLY LEFT NORMAL STREET,
WE COULD ALL GET BACK TO
WELL, NORMAL.
OOH!
[chuckles]
[upbeat music]
[ring clinks]
[footsteps approaching]
ARE YOU THERE?
IT'S GORTIMER, MS. HUDSPITH.
- AND MEL.
- AND ME. RANGER, I MEAN.
WE THOUGHT WE MIGH
FIND YOU HERE.
MY MOM MADE
SOME BROWNIES.
WE BROUGHT ONE
FOR YOU,
IF YOU PROMISE
NOT TO THROW IT AWAY.
I
I WAS JUST WAITING
FOR AN OLD FRIEND.
YOU GOT THREE.
MS. HUDSPITH?
CAN WE HELP YOU HOME?
YOU KNOW
I HAVE SOME WHIPPED CREAM
IN THE FRIDGE.
SHOULD GO GREA
WITH THAT BROWNIE.
THOUGH SHE WISHED IT, THE
GOLDEN-EYED BOY DID NOT RETURN.
THEIR STORY HAD ENDED.
IT WAS TIME FOR A NEW STORY.
A NEW BEGINNING.
HOLD ON TOO TIGH
AND LOVE CAN BURN.
CLOSE YOUR EYES TO IT AND
YOU'RE LEFT ALONE IN THE DARK.
IN A WAY, MS. HUDSPITH WAS
SEEING US FOR THE FIRST TIME.
AND WE WERE SEEING HER.
THEY SAY LOVE IS BLIND.
BUT THE REAL DANGER
IS BEING BLIND TO LOVE.
HEY, GARDNER.
LOVE YA.
[blows raspberry]
[upbeat music]
I'VE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE
ON NORMAL STREET.
THERE'S A QUIET LAKE
AT ONE END
AND A FOREST OF SHADY TREES
AT THE OTHER.
AND SOMEWHERE IN-BETWEEN
IS AN OLD LADY IN AN OLD HOUSE
SITTING ON TOP
OF ULTIMATE DOOM.
THAT'S ME.
GORTIMER GIBBON.
AND YES, I'M COVERED IN MUD.
IT'S EVERYWHERE,
IN MY EARS, UNDER MY EYELIDS,
EVEN IN MY UNDERWEAR.
THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND RANGER.
RANGER AND I HAVE BEEN
FRIENDS FOR SO LONG
OUR MOTHERS USED TO PUT US
IN THE BATH TOGETHER.
QUIT STALLING.
I CAN'T TAKE MY SHOES OFF.
THEY'RE ALREADY RUINED.
THAT'S MY OTHER
BEST FRIEND MEL.
HER NAME'S REALLY MELODY,
BUT NOBODY CALLS HER THAT.
LET'S JUST GET THIS
OVER WITH.
IF YOU'RE WONDERING
HOW COME I'M COVERED IN MUD,
WELL, IT ALL STARTED
WITH A BROKEN WATERMELON
AND KIND OF SPIRALED
OUT OF CONTROL FROM THERE.
[exhales]
HIT IT.
[Beethoven's Ode to Joy]
IT WAS THE HOTTES
DAY OF THE YEAR
FOR THE THIRD DAY IN A ROW.
AND IT WAS ONLY
9:00 IN THE MORNING.
SHOULDN'T SUMMER
BE OVER BY NOW?
THIS ISN'T FAIR.
IT WAS SO HOT,
INSTEAD OF EATING HIS POPSICLE,
RANGER APPLIED I
DIRECTLY TO HIS BODY.
AHH.
HE WAS STARTING TO CRACK.
YOUR POPSICLE IS PUDDLING.
IT'S NOT NATURAL,
THIS HEAT.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
MAYBE IT'S SOME
KIND OF PUNISHMENT.
FOR WHAT?
CHOPPING DOWN
THE RAINFORESTS.
ABUSING FOSSIL FUELS.
REALITY TV SHOWS.
I DON'T KNOW.
REALITY TV SHOWS
DON'T CORRELATE
WITH THE SEASONAL CHANGES
IN TEMPERATURE.
PEAS AND CARROTS.
I'M SO HOT I THINK MY BRAINS
ARE GONNA MELT OUT MY EARS.
WE WERE TRYING TO HELP
RANGER SWEAR LESS
BY GETTING HIM TO SAY FOOD NAMES
INSTEAD OF CURSE WORDS.
GARDNER, GET INSIDE.
MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS ALWAYS
SNEAKING THINGS INTO MY POCKETS
WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING.
NO. STOP I DON'T WANT
MOM, GARDNER'S TRYING
TO GIVE ME SOMETHING.
OH.
[chuckles]
HONEY, IT'S JUST HIS WAY
OF SAYING, "BE MY FRIEND."
I THINK IT'S
HIS WAY OF SAYING,
"I WANT TO PUT DIR
IN YOUR POCKET."
[blows raspberry]
AND WHAT'S HE SAYING NOW?
"I LOVE YOU?"
WELL, IT WOULDN'
HURT YOU TO SAY IT.
MOM.
GARDNER NEEDS
MORE SWIM DIAPERS.
HOW FAST CAN YOU
GET TO THE STORE?
IT'S TOO HOT TO WALK.
SON, YOU'LL BE FINE.
YOUR BROTHER NEEDS TO STAY COOL
IN THE POOL TODAY.
YOU KNOW
HOW OVERHEATED HE GETS.
YOU CAN GET YOURSELF
AN ARCTIC SLUDGY.
COME ON.
YOU GUYS COMING?
FINE.
IF I DON'T MAKE IT BACK,
YOU GUYS CAN SPLIT UP
MY STUFF.
[sighs]
MY BROTHER GETS NOTHING.
[shoes squeaking]
MY SHOES HAD COLLECTED
FIVE BLOCKS WORTH OF LEG SWEAT.
IT'S SAID THAT THE PECULIAR
SOUNDS THAT THE MACHINE MAKES
WHEN BIRTHING
AN ARCTIC SLUDGY
ARE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS
SCREAMING IN PROTEST.
HAVE YOU GOT IT ALL?
EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR?
IT WAS A RARE THING TO SEE
MS. HUDSPITH
OUTSIDE OF HER HOUSE.
SHE WAS FAMOUS ONCE,
FOR SOME REASON,
UNTIL SHE WENT BLIND.
THE WATERMELON,
THE DUCT TAPE
ONE GENUINE SILVER FORK,
ON SPECIAL ORDER.
AH, STERLING SILVER.
YES, I BELIEVE SO.
WELL, IS IT OR ISN'T IT, EGG?
BE CERTAIN.
RANGER HAD ACTUALLY TRIED TO
REACH OUT TO MS. HUDSPITH ONCE
ON DO A GOOD DEED DAY.
HE OFFERED UP ONE OF
HIS MOM'S SIGNATURE BROWNIES,
WHICH NO HUMAN BEING
BORN ON THIS EARTH
IS PHYSICALLY ABLE TO RESIST.
[sniffs]
OH
STERLING. I'M CERTAIN.
I ALSO ORDERED A BROOM HANDLE.RIGHT HERE.
MUST HAVE THE PROPER
HEFT AND BALANCE.
WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S YOUR BROOM.I WANTED A BROOM HANDLE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH
THIS STRAW STUCK ON ONE END?
WELL, MS. HUDSPITH,
MOST PEOPLE SWEEP WITH IT.
DON'T GET SMART, EGG.
THIS IS MY LIFE
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
MY LIFE.
both: OH!
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
I'M SORRY, MS. HUDSPITH.
WHO'S THERE?
IS THAT THE GIBBON BOY?
GORTIMER?
YES, MA'AM.
MY WATERMELON,
IS IT RUINED?
TELL THE TRUTH, NOW.
IT STILL LOOKS
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT?
OKAY, BYE.
HEY, BUD.
MS. HUDSPITH JUST CALLED.
SHE WANTS YOU TO COME OVER
RIGHT AWAY.
NOW?
YOU KNOW, BEFORE YOU
AND YOUR BROTHER CAME ALONG,
I USED TO STOP BY ALL THE TIME
AND CHECK ON HER.
THINK OF HER AS FAMILY.
SHE'S REACHING OUT,
GORTIMER.
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT A WATERMELON?
[laughs]
COME HERE, BUDDY.
HEY, I KNOW THIS HOUSE.
IT'S THE LADY THA
TRASHED MY BROWNIE.
PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
YOU JUST DON'T THROW AWAY
BAKED GOODS LIKE THAT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
SHE WANTS?
I WANT YOU TO GET RID
OF THAT FROG.
I BROUGHT YOU
AN APOLOGY MELON.
SHOULD YOU BE USING CARPENTRY
TOOLS LIKE THAT, MS. HUDSPITH?
OH, I'M CAPABLE OF A LOT MORE
THAN A BOY LIKE YOU KNOWS.
DID I EVER TELL YOU
HOW I LOST MY SIGHT?
WE NEVER ACTUALLY
TALKED BEFORE TODAY.
[mouths silently]
GET OUT!
LISTEN, HOW 'BOU
I LEAVE THIS HERE AND GO?
I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU.
[metal scraping]
I GAVE UP A LO
TO BE A FASHION MODEL.
FAMILY, FRIENDS,
EVEN MY SELF RESPECT.
THEY SAY BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU WISH FOR
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET IT.
WHAT THEY MEAN IS
THERE'S A HIDDEN PRICE
THEY DON'T TELL YOU ABOUT.
WISHES ARE NEVER FREE.
YOU GAVE YOUR SIGH
FOR A WISH?
I GAVE NOTHING.
MY SIGHT WAS TAKEN FROM ME.
ME, A RADIANT BEAUTY, GRACING
BILLBOARDS ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
SEEN AND ADORED BY MILLIONS.
ME, WHO COULD NO LONGER
SEE ANYTHING.
WAS IT AN ACCIDENT?
IT WAS A FROG.
THE FROG.
AND NOW HE'S COME BACK FOR MORE.
WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO GIVE?
NOT SO FAST.
OH, MY GRAVY.
SHE'S SPEAR FISHING
FOR WATERMELON.
GORTIMER, GET OUTTA THERE!
SHE HAS REALLY GOOD AIM
FOR A BLIND
HE TAUNTS ME.
DON'T YOU HEAR IT?
DAY AND NIGHT, CALLING.
LISTEN.
WHAT WAS THAT?
I HEAR IT EVERY MINUTE
OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY.
HE'S COME BACK.
AND HE'S BROUGH
THE HEAT WITH HIM.
HE MEANS TO ROAST US ALL
UNTIL HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS.
TAKE IT.
IF YOU EVER WANT TO FEEL
A COOL BREEZE
FOR THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE, TAKE IT.
IT'S IN
THE CRAWLSPACE BENEATH.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH THIS, EXACTLY?
OH, SAVE ME, GORTIMER.
SAVE US ALL.
ARE YOU REALLY GONNA
KILL A FROG WITH A FORK?
THOUGHT IF I JUST POKED I
A LITTLE IT MIGHT JUST HOP AWAY.
ARE YOU SURE
IT IS A FROG?
- WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?
- COULD BE A TOAD.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE?
TAXONOMICALLY SPEAKING
THERE'S NO REAL DISTINCTION.
PORK AND BEANS!
OF COURSE THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
TOADS HAVE POISON GLANDS
BEHIND THEIR EYES.
THEY CAN SQUIRT POISON AT YOU
WITH THEIR EYES.
[sighs] THAT'S
A RARE ADAPTATION.
AND ANYWAY,
IT'S NOT THE EYES.
THERE'S A SPECIALIZED GLAND
BEHIND THE EYES
THAT SPRAYS THE POISON.
HMM.
YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD
THE TALE MS. HUDSPITH SPUN.
SOMETHING ABOUT A WISH
AND THE FROG AND THE HEAT.
THE FROG OF ULTIMATE DOOM?
MY GRANDPA TOLD ME THAT ONCE.
DIDN'T I EVER TELL YOU GUYS?
OKAY, SO ONCE,
THERE WAS THIS KID
AND HE WANTED TO MAKE A WISH.
SO HE RUNS TO THE TOP
OF WISHING HILL
AT THE END OF NORMAL STREET.
HE WISHES FOR WINTER TO END
SO HIS FAMILY WOULDN'
LOSE ALL THEIR CROPS.
HE WAITS TO HEAR
THE COIN HIT THE WATER,
BUT IT NEVER MAKES A SOUND.
HE LOWERS THE BUCKET,
BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE A SPLASH.
AND THEN AND THEN
UH, WAIT.
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
HOW DOES THIS PART GO?
OH, YEAH, SO THEN THIS KID
CATCHES SOMETHING HEAVY
AND HAULS IT UP.
AND THERE IN THE BUCKE
IS THE FROG OF ULTIMATE DOOM.
THE FROG SAID
HE'D GRANT THE BOY'S WISH.
BUT IT DEMANDED
MORE THAN A COIN.
"HOLD OUT YOUR HAND,"
THE FROG SAYS.
CHOMP!
BITES A FINGER RIGHT OFF.
AND THAT WAS THE COS
OF THE WISH.
SOME WISHES COST MORE
THAN OTHERS, APPARENTLY.
BUT THE BOY GO
HIS WISH, RIGHT?
WELL, SUMMER CAME THAT DAY
AND THE CROPS WERE SAVED.
UNTIL A FEW MONTHS LATER
WHEN SUMMER DIDN'T END.
THE CROPS WITHERED
AND THE SUN KEPT BURNING.
BUT THE HEAT ENDED
AT SOME POINT.
SOMEONE HAD TO BEA
THE FROG OF DOOM.
HUH?
OH YEAH.
THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT, LIKE,
A FORK OF DESTINY OR SOMETHING.
OR MAYBE THAT WAS ANOTHER STORY.
I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.
BUT THE FINGER CHOMPING?
THAT IS HARD TO FORGET.
WAIT A MINUTE.
FORK OF DESTINY?
LEAVE IT TO RANGER TO SKATE
RIGHT OVER THE MOST IMPORTAN
PART OF THE STORY.
WHATEVER WAITED FOR ME
UNDER THAT HOUSE,
I WANTED TO BE PREPARED.
YOU'LL NEED PROTECTION FOR THE
EYES, SOMETHING FOR THE FINGERS.
[upbeat music]
HERE WE GO.
THE FORK OF DESTINY.
DON'T DROP IT.
- LET'S KICK SOME FROG BUTT?
- [sighs]
THE MIND IS THE ULTIMATE
BATTLEGROUND.
DON'T LET HIM
GET IN YOUR HEAD.
AND KEEP YOUR FINGERS OU
OF CHOMPING RANGE AT ALL TIMES.
WHAT'S THAT FOR?
SO WE CAN RETRIEVE
YOUR CORPSE.
EMERGENCY ESCAPE SYSTEM.
TUG THREE TIMES
AND WE'LL PULL YOU OUT.
OR WHATEVER'S
LEFT OF YOU.
GIVE ME A SOUND CHECK.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
KEEP TALKING
SO WE KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE.
MAKING PROGRESS.
JUST GET IN THERE, POKE THA
FROG, AND GET OUT, GORTIMER.
HEAT UP
THE FRYING PAN, MEL.
WE'RE HAVING FROG LEGS
FOR DINNER.
[all scream]
SPIDERS.
WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?
KEEP MOVING, GORTIMER.
UGH. I'M ALLERGIC TO MOLD.
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
[static over earpiece]
IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, MEL,
I'M PRESSING ON.
[frog croaking]
THE FROG OF ULTIMATE DOOM.
I'M SORRY,
BUT SUMMER HAS TO END.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE?
THE RADIO WENT DEAD.
DID YOU GET HIM?
MS. HUDSPITH!
MS. HUDSPITH!
GORTIMER, IS IT
IS IT OVER?
I WAS JUST A KID MYSELF
WHEN THIS STORY BEGAN.
OH, I WAS YOUNG ONCE.
AND MISERABLE.
I HAD SUCH BIG DREAMS.
BUT I LIVED IN A SMALL TOWN.
WHOA. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
YOU MADE THESE DESIGNS,
MS. HUDSPITH?
OH, FOR A LONG TIME
THAT WAS AS CLOSE
AS I DARE COME TO MY DREAM.
THEN ONE DAY
THE HOTTEST DAY IN MEMORY,
AS IT HAPPENED,
EVERYTHING CAME TO A BOIL.
I RAN TO THE WISHING WELL.
I HAD NO COIN TO OFFER.
- THE ONLY THING OF VALUE
- THE RING.
I DROPPED IT INTO THE WELL.
AND I WISHED.
I WISHED SO HARD.
THEN HE APPEARED.
I HAD NEVER SEEN A BOY
SO BEAUTIFUL.
HE LOOKED AT ME WITH THOSE
STRANGE, SAD EYES.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT THEN,
I DIDN'T SEE IT,
BUT WHAT WAS
IN THOSE EYES WAS LOVE.
I HELD OUT MY HAND.
HE SMILED THA
BEAUTIFUL SMILE
AND SLIPPED THE RING
ON MY FINGER.
EVERYTHING CHANGED.
I WAS EVERYWHERE.
I WAS IN DEMAND.
I HAD BECOME EVERYTHING
I WANTED TO BE AND MORE.
I WAS LIVING MY DREAM.
BUT LIKE ALL DREAMS,
THIS ONE CAME TO AN ABRUPT END.
THE BOY REAPPEARED ONE NIGHT.
I HADN'T NOTICED
UNTIL THAT MOMEN
THAT I WAS STILL WEARING
THE RING ALL THOSE YEARS.
HE THOUGHT I HAD
PROMISED MYSELF TO HIM.
BUT ALL I DID WAS MAKE A WISH.
A PROMISE TO MYSELF TO KEEP
WORKING FOR MY DREAM.
I DID THE WORK,
I PUT IN THE HOURS,
I SURVIVED,
IT WAS MY TRIUMPH.
I OWED NOTHING TO ANYONE.
SO I THREW THE RING
BACK IN HIS FACE AND I RAN.
THAT WAS THE LAST TIME
I SAW HIM.
THAT WAS THE LAST TIME
I SAW ANYTHING.
THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
HE HAS CURSED MY LIFE
WITH MISFORTUNE EVER SINCE.
MAN YOU HAVE ALL THE LUCK.
[frog croaks]
[shudders]
ARE YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANT A HELME
OR SHOULDER PADS
OR SOMETHING?
NO. I JUST WAN
TO TALK TO HIM.
WHAT ABOU
THE FORK OF DESTINY?
I DROPPED THE FORK WHEN I WAS
IN THERE THE FIRST TIME.
SON OF A BLUEBERRY,
GORTIMER.
YOU DON'T DROP ANYTHING
WITH "DESTINY" IN THE NAME.
THAT IS WHY IT SAYS "DESTINY."
SO THERE WILL BE NO DROPPAGE.
I'M GOING IN.
- GOT IT?
- I'M GOOD.
HELLO?
WE NEED TO TALK.
I'M NOT LEAVING WHOA!
[grunts]
UM, I CAN STILL
GET OUT OF HERE, RIGHT?
OKAY, LOOK
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS,
BUT I TALKED TO HER
AND SHE'S JUS
NOT INTERESTED.
SHE JUST KIND OF MOVED ON.
I'M SORRY IF THIS ISN'
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.
WHATEVER SHE PROMISED YOU SHE'S
NEVER GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU
NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU WAIT.
OKAY, LOOK, WE CAN'T BE STUCK
IN SUMMER FOREVER.
YOU HAVE TO END THIS.
YOU HAVE TO LET HER GO
AND MOVE ON.
SHE'S ALREADY GIVEN UP
HER SIGHT.
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
POISON EYES.
OH
[coughing]
WAIT, IT'S
STOP CRYING.
IT'S NOT A BAD THING
TO BE FR FR
HEATSTROKE.
HE PASSED OUT.
OH, TURNIPS.
OH, RADISHES. OH
- CARROTS!
- RANGER, FOCUS.
WE HAVE TO COOL
HIM DOWN QUICKLY.
OH, I'M ON IT.
HEY, THAT'S MY GRANDMA'S
PITCHER!
RANGER!
I WILL BRING IT BACK!
[gasping]
WHAT THE BEAN DIP?
- YOU FAINTED.
- I SAID A SWEAR.
- OH. I WON'T TELL.
- OKAY.
WHAT HAPPENED
IN THERE?
I FAILED.
THE ARCTIC SLUDGY
WAS COURTESY OF MEL.
SHE WALKED ALL THE WAY TO
THE CONVENIENCE STORE AND BACK
IN THE RAGING HEA
JUST TO GET IT FOR ME.
I FELL ASLEEP BEFORE
I COULD FINISH IT.
BUT I WOKE TO A SOUND I HADN'
HEARD IN A LONG, LONG TIME.
[rain pouring]
AND JUST LIKE THAT, THE SUMMER
THAT WOULDN'T END WAS OVER.
[phone rings]
HELLO?
GORTIMER, COME QUICKLY.
THE CRAWLSPACE IS FLOODING.
IS HE IN THERE?
HE'LL DROWN DOWN THERE.
GORTIMER, HELP HIM, PLEASE.
HELLO?
HEY, KID FROG.
FROG KID!
ARE YOU IN HERE?
YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
RANGER WILL BE SO PLEASED.
[screams]
GORTIMER?
GORTIMER!
WHAT HAPPENED?
I'M HERE, MS. HUDSPITH.
GORTIMER?
HE'S GONE,
MS. HUDSPITH.
OH
NOW THAT THE HEA
HAD FINALLY LEFT NORMAL STREET,
WE COULD ALL GET BACK TO
WELL, NORMAL.
OOH!
[chuckles]
[upbeat music]
[ring clinks]
[footsteps approaching]
ARE YOU THERE?
IT'S GORTIMER, MS. HUDSPITH.
- AND MEL.
- AND ME. RANGER, I MEAN.
WE THOUGHT WE MIGH
FIND YOU HERE.
MY MOM MADE
SOME BROWNIES.
WE BROUGHT ONE
FOR YOU,
IF YOU PROMISE
NOT TO THROW IT AWAY.
I
I WAS JUST WAITING
FOR AN OLD FRIEND.
YOU GOT THREE.
MS. HUDSPITH?
CAN WE HELP YOU HOME?
YOU KNOW
I HAVE SOME WHIPPED CREAM
IN THE FRIDGE.
SHOULD GO GREA
WITH THAT BROWNIE.
THOUGH SHE WISHED IT, THE
GOLDEN-EYED BOY DID NOT RETURN.
THEIR STORY HAD ENDED.
IT WAS TIME FOR A NEW STORY.
A NEW BEGINNING.
HOLD ON TOO TIGH
AND LOVE CAN BURN.
CLOSE YOUR EYES TO IT AND
YOU'RE LEFT ALONE IN THE DARK.
IN A WAY, MS. HUDSPITH WAS
SEEING US FOR THE FIRST TIME.
AND WE WERE SEEING HER.
THEY SAY LOVE IS BLIND.
BUT THE REAL DANGER
IS BEING BLIND TO LOVE.
HEY, GARDNER.
LOVE YA.
[blows raspberry]
[upbeat music]