Gossip Girl (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

1
("ALL MY GIRLS LIKE TO
FIGHT" BY HOPE TALA PLAYING)
I lick their hands clean
Of bark and bite ♪
So they can sleep deep
At night ♪
Ah ♪
All my girls ♪
If you guys want to know
how I keep my face fresh
after early morning travel,
I've reposted my crucial
fight-the-flight
I am so excited to see my
girls Monet and Luna today.
- Yay!
- (VIDEO STOPS ABRUPTLY)
You like to make me suffer
Thought we loved one another ♪
Ghosts of
All your old lovers around ♪
Be quiet, don't make a sound ♪
'Cause all your girls
Like to fight ♪
I like to make you suffer ♪
Thought we loved one another ♪
Ghosts of
All my old lovers around ♪
Be quiet, don't make a sound ♪
(DOG BARKS)
'Cause all my girls
Like to fight ♪
(BARKS)
Fight, fight, fight ♪
Hey, Dad.
DAVIS CALLOWAY: I'm in LA
tonight for a session with Billie.
- Ooh. (LAUGHS)
- I'll be back Friday, okay?
- Have a great first day.
- I already am.
You know, you're not
normally this excited
for the first day of school.
Well, it's better than being
stuck in here for another year.
- No shit.
- (CHUCKLES)
Bye.
(KISSES)
- You're gonna be late.
- He's always late.
- (MAX WOLFE CHUCKLES)
- ROCKY: Okay, here's your lunch.
- And your ice pack.
- MAX WOLFE: Mm, perfect. Okay.
- Okay.
- (SMOOCHES)
- Okay.
- Love you.
Bye, Dad. Bye, Pop. Bye, Rocky.
- (PROTESTORS CHANTING)
- Here you go.
- Thank you, Obie.
- Anytime, Murray.
(CONTINUE CHANTING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Sorry it's taking me a long time.
We were together all
quarantine. It's fine.
You used to like it when
it took me a long time.
(SIGHS)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Fight, fight ♪
Fight ♪
(SIGHS)
Oh, all my girls
Like to fight ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
NICK LOTT: Where's my freshman?
Fresh-woman?
Fresh-person.
- Fresh-princess!
- Dad, please. No.
Sorry, I'm just excited.
It's your first day.
It's another day, no first anything.
Constance Billard is one of
the top 10 private schools
in the country, with one
of the best arts programs.
Full of the type of people whose values
- I was able to shield you from
- Kids are bad all over.
Even in Buffalo.
We had to leave.
And we couldn't pass up the scholarship.
I mean, at Constance, my college
choices are so much better.
Say it with me, Yale Drama.
- And
- Yes, she's a student there,
but I doubt I'll even get to meet her.
You're not even sure she knows I exist.
She's your half-sister,
she knows you exist.
Well then, I don't want to meet her.
Because she never
accepted my friend request
I sent when I was 10.
Thank you for breakfast.
Bye, Dad.
- I love you.
- You too.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
- Hey, where'd you get those?
Hmm?
Moving gift from Bella. Remember?
Huh.
(STRING MUSIC PLAYING)
- Lune?
- The brick'll wash her out.
Up and to the left.
New EIP.
(TEACHERS CHATTERING)
Ew. Go!
Don't they have their
own entrance or something?
I'm standing here.
You see me, don't you?
Okay come on, let's do this.
Okay. So, experience is:
"Arrival, first day, uh, junior year."
Um, so just back up a little bit.
Back up a little more.
Okay. Now, show me the bag.
(BOTH GASP)
Sorry, Ms. Keller, I
didn't see you there.
Um, it wasn't your fault.
She almost destroyed your Capucine.
It'd take her whole month's
salary to replace it.
Rayon gives me
nosebleeds. Could you move?
(SCOFFS) God, now the light's off.
- Kate?
- Yeah?
Thought we were meeting inside.
We should have a no-Zara rule at school.
Zara, east of Lex only.
I don't know why I still
expect them to be nice.
I guess a year of Zoom boxes fooled me?
That's only 'cause you couldn't see
what they were texting beneath them.
Oh, no.
First day of school
and Wendy's already sad.
The headmistress would like
to speak with you, Martine.
Right this way.
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
JORDAN GLASSBERG: This
is why I bring a Yeti.
When the horde sets their alarms
to go off in unison during a pop quiz,
I don't spill on myself when I scream.
I could get you one.
(SIGHS) It took me an
hour to pick out an outfit
I thought they wouldn't make fun off.
And it took them one
second to prove me wrong.
If Julien wore that, Urban
would be mass producing knockoffs
by third period.
They just pick on us 'cause they can.
Because no one says not to.
And if you try to fail them,
between your laptop and the office,
an F becomes a C.
And a C becomes valedictorian
and a top spot at the
Ivy of their choice.
This school produced great people.
Caroline Kennedy, Colson Whitehead,
Nate Archibald.
It's why I wanted to teach here.
REBECCA SHERMAN:
It's not like Nate Archibald
was such a saint when we started.
- You went here, Rebecca?
- Class of '09.
Back when we still respected authority.
Now, they can't be controlled
because we've ceased to matter.
Who needs an education when you're
famous for putting on your makeup?
- But you said Nate
- When I was a student,
we lived under constant threat.
- People like Nate were scared straight.
- How?
Yeah, I'd try anything at this point.
It was this thing that
started freshman year,
called itself Gossip Girl.
Kind of like an Orwellian Big Sister.
Kept tabs on students
it deemed important.
- Kept tabs?
- If she knew your secrets,
and she always did,
she told them. She
kept us all accountable.
People thought it was me,
but it was actually
one of my classmates.
- Dan Humphrey.
- The novelist?
I think I remember reading about this.
It was ridiculous. I
wouldn't even read it.
(DOOR CLOSES)
It's a blog. Haven't seen
one of these in years.
Last post, nine years ago.
Ooh, there's an archive.
Some dead links, but pretty cool.
Wish I thought of this
when I was in high school.
(SCOFFS) We're still in high school.
Maybe we should try it?
(CHUCKLING)
What are we looking at?
Hey, hey, keep it moving.
Please and thank you.
("SUPER RICH KIDS" PLAYING)
- Oh! The sun's arrived.
- MAX: He has indeed.
(GASPS) Maxi!
Air only. She's still setting.
(JULIEN GIGGLES)
- Obie!
- Hi.
You're rumpled and sweaty.
That suddenly bothers you why?
You said you'd do my story.
Shit, I forgot.
He forgot.
I was
I was bringing breakfast to
the Navy Yard strike line,
but I saved you one.
Fan-Fan, your favorite.
Hey, isn't that your
parents' development?
Yeah, it is. And they
know exactly how I feel.
That the very least the
strikers deserve is donuts.
And what about what I deserve?
I will clean up during
free period, I promise.
Okay, at this point, it's
gonna be a graduation story.
AUDREY HOPE: Julien!
- So can we
- (GASPS) Audrey!
- Welcome back, guys.
- Yo, what's up?
Well, well, if it isn't the
Seven Samurai all together again.
You can change the group
chat name all you want,
- it's not sticking.
- You'll get Kurosawa one day.
Is that what your face
looks like without a mask?
Hope, been a few.
Since when do you show up on time
for the first day of the school?
Guess all those months away
gave me a renewed interest
in the student body.
- Yours included.
- Okay, soft focus, soft focus.
And east so your face gets the sun.
The gram can wait, ladies.
She's looking for her sister.
- She's not my sister.
- A DNA test would disagree.
She's just half.
- Mm, you have a sister?
- He was busy at Berghain.
And you promised never to mention her.
It's a big deal, and we
should not pretend otherwise.
She enrolled and moved
here like some stalker.
And if it wasn't for
Headmistress Burton,
who gave JC a heads-up, we
wouldn't have even known.
Their dads hate each other.
MAX: Oh, I remember.
She's from when your mom
ran off on you and your dad?
Yeah, and if he knew Zoya was here,
he would pull me out of
school or the hemisphere.
That's how angry he still is.
I can't believe she
didn't tell you herself.
Guys, it's okay.
She and I don't even know each other.
We don't owe each other anything.
And besides, I have everyone I
need right here, live and in person.
Family drama is so not my thing.
I'm more of a medical
procedural kind of guy,
two Addys to get me through Calc,
and a benzo to slumber
through Vicki Fic.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Is that her?
(LAUGHS) Should we
throw our lattes on her?
Turmeric stains forever.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I can't see freshmen.
(STUDENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
I like her shoes.
This Chuck and Blair
thing is out of control.
Definitely pre-cancel culture.
Did you get to the part
where she was princess
of Monaco for six months?
Or when a high school senior
got a story published in the New Yorker?
As a writer, I'm a little jealous.
I mean, these posts are like
a lost Edith Wharton novel.
RAFA CAPARROS: And just as white.
It goes to show, this
school has always been
a breeding ground for
the worst kinds of people.
KATE KELLER: (SIGHS)
Is it really their fault
they inherited power and influence
the minute they were born
without any examples
of how not to abuse it?
You're defending them? After
what they just did to you?
I'm only saying we're their last hope.
We're supposed to send them
out of here Barack Obamas,
instead of Brett Kavanaughs.
How? We have no power.
Sure we do.
(DOOR OPENS)
Fucking got fired.
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
- (SOBBING)
(EERIE MUSIC SWELLS)
The headmistress was on
the phone with parents
- all morning.
- Parents?
It was something about me refusing
to change a grade last year?
And there were other
teachers waiting when I left.
I mean, it's a it's a blood bath.
Today, the first day of school?
If you want to show you're in
charge, you need an audience.
Who's our last hope, Kate?
We could be next.
You don't have to be.
(EERIE MUSIC CRESCENDOS)
What's this?
Power.
(EPIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Let's see if this gets their attention.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
(WATER RUNNING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Let me see it.
Yours is better.
No way. My friend did
mine with a seam ripper.
- (LAUGHS)
- Okay, true.
I got mine done by Dr. Woo.
But still, I'm so happy
to finally meet you.
You're not just in my
chat history anymore,
- you're actually here.
- I know. Davis?
No idea. Nick?
Knows you go here, but thinks
you have no idea who I am.
(CHUCKLES) So we're good for now.
Julien Elizabeth.
- Zoya Jane.
- (ZOYA CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) I can't believe
you're really here.
I know, I thought no fucking
way my dad would go for moving.
But when I got the scholarship
I can't believe we pulled this off.
That's not what I meant. I
(SIGHS)
I can't believe you're really here.
You look just like her.
(STRING MUSIC PLAYS)
I have this whole plan to
incorporate you into our friend group.
- Are you sure you can't just
- This'll be easier.
They'll like you for you and not because
you're related to me.
Met Steps at 11:00.
I was told freshmen don't
have open campus privileges.
We own this school. They work for us.
Do you like the sneakers?
- I feel a little weird about
- They were free.
Don't even worry about it.
And I've already planted the seed
that I liked them on you.
So I'll wave you over to
get them for my story, okay?
Just like we planned.
Now get to class. I can
be late, but you shouldn't.
(SQUEALS) You're here!
("TAKE ME WHERE YOUR
HEART IS" BY Q PLAYS)
MAX: Dumbo Hall tonight, dears.
And a reminder, it is fashion week,
so accoutre accordingly.
I'm actually stuffing
envelopes after school,
so I'll be late.
And probably rumpled and sweaty.
And you said you would come with me.
Yeah, just so you'd quit asking me.
- Who waits for the light?
- She's not from here.
I still don't know who
you're talking about.
You know what would trend
faster than a fall fashion fail?
A "secret sister" splosh video.
I've got the heels, and I'd
love nothing more than to just
Hey!
Are those Bey Superstars?
- Yeah.
- Can I get a picture?
Just 'cause our dads hate each other,
doesn't mean we have to, right?
MONET DE HAAN: What are you doing?
JULIEN CALLOWAY: What if she's cool?
She has a headband on.
ZOYA LOTT: It's actually
a scarf. It was my
Our mom's.
Let's do this instead.
I just want you to ♪
To take where your heart is ♪
Oh, oh ♪
The Right To The City Alliance?
Yeah, they I, uh,
I volunteer with them.
See, someone else has heard of it.
They're doing great work.
OBIE BERGMANN: They
try to halt displacement
of marginalized communities
in historic neighborhoods.
My grandpa used to work with
them until he passed away.
If you ever need another body, I'm in.
I've been trying to get this
guy to go for, like, months.
I think it's cool you work with them.
You ever heard of the guilty rich?
- This one's the guiltiest.
- And the richest.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
- What's your handle?
- Uh, ALottaZee, with two E's.
JULIEN: As soon as I post this,
you're gonna get a
load of new followers.
Pro tip: best to use your name.
- That way, anyone can find you.
- (PHONE PINGS)
Why would I want people to find me?
How would you like to hang out
with us tonight at Dumbo Hall?
It's this members-only club we go to.
I don't know, it's a school night.
Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.
If you close your eyes, she
disappears, I'm telling you.
- We don't stay out late.
- We don't?
I'm not a member.
I'll put you on the list.
So as long as everyone else agrees?
Maybe my Xanny just kicked
in, but I say why not.
She's cute enough.
It would be nice to have
someone to run errands.
Sure.
Welcome.
See you at 7:00.
Just take me where
Your heart is ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Bye.
- Bye.
Peace.
- JORDAN: Not even a like.
- As if it didn't happen.
We should've known. Is anyone
under 30 even on Twitter?
I'd delete that if I were you.
Retaliation never
works. Ask my ex-wives.
I'm not a lesbian. (LAUGHS)
(CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)
Trio of sad incoming.
Which one of them
should I get fired next?
What did you just say?
No, I wasn't talking to you.
About you, maybe, but
that depends on your behavior.
But I'm pretty sure you know that now.
My house, tonight.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
So, we covered your
commute, your classes,
the creepy hot dog guy
who liked your uniform
ZOYA: Okay, Dad.
I saw her once from across
the courtyard. That's it.
And I'm pretty sure
that's how it's gonna be.
But
- I met some great new people.
- Hmm.
And one of them invited me
to go get gelato with her.
- Oh, that's nice.
- ZOYA: Tonight.
- Well
- In the Village.
No way. It's a school night.
Come on, Dad, this is New York City.
Seven o'clock here is
like four in Buffalo.
And if I say no to the first invitation,
who knows if I'll get any more?
So long as you're back by 9:00.
Nine?
If you prove to me you can
be responsible this time,
maybe you'll be able to say
yes to those future invitations
and stay out even longer.
Fair. Thank you.
(PHONE PINGS)
- ZOYA: Hey. Jimmy, right?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm Zoya, we just moved
We're staying at my grandma's.
Did someone drop something off?
Yeah, the courier said not to call up.
It's a it's a surprise for my dad.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
JORDAN: Twitter is a glorified chat room
for meme sharing, conspiracy theorists,
and Lin-Manuel Miranda.
If we really want to get attention,
it's Instagram only.
WENDY: Gossip Girl was also
voice-y. It drew you in.
"Spotted: Chuck Bass losing something
no one knew he had: his heart."
I can write in that style.
And we need to tag
people for maximum effect.
That way we know they'll see it.
- The whole school?
- WENDY: Just the popular kids,
like Serenas, Blairs, Nates, and Chucks.
Make them think there's another
Dan Humphrey in their midst.
Gossip Girl would have been nothing
without Blair versus Serena.
Their rivalry launched
her. We need our own.
Well, clearly Monet and everyone.
(SCOFFS) Monet's the school villain.
No one cares.
We need to center someone
people are actually drawn to.
Like Julien.
Not only is she famous,
people actually like her.
Julien has no rival.
Who knew what Blair and
Serena's relationship
was actually like?
Gossip Girl's perception was reality.
So we create our own.
- Who do we think Julien might
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We might not have to make up anything.
You know about her sister, right?
I was on her admissions panel.
But do you know how she got there?
Is that real?
Better than I could've imagined.
So you'll use that?
The old Gossip Girl knew
how to tease things out.
She got their attention first,
and then went in for the kill.
So we do the same.
We wait on this.
Just a little bit.
You ready to, uh, take the power back,
do some good, and save the future?
I'm gonna need your Gossip Girl voice
to be better than your real voice.
It is.
- I say we do it.
- You got my vote.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS)
GOSSIP GIRL: Hello,
followers. Gossip Girl here.
Your one and only source for the truth
behind the scandalous
lies of New York's elite.
Been a minute. Did you miss me?
I know I've missed you.
(CELLPHONES PING)
Though you're probably going to wish
I'd stayed away when I'm done.
Because I can see you.
Not the you you've
oh-so-carefully curated.
The real you.
The one hiding just
outside the edge of frame.
Well, it's time to reframe that picture.
You've gotten away with
everything a little too long.
Now that I'm back,
I'm gonna feature your finstas,
surface those subtweets,
and crack your caches.
You can't hide from me. Never could.
And to prove it, there's a big secret
amongst the ruling class
at Constance Billard.
And as you will soon come to know,
no good secret goes unpublished.
Watch this space.
Or don't.
You'll hear about it
soon enough either way.
Till then,
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
'Cause I'll be ♪
- (ALL SMOOCH)
- Um, did you see that thing we were tagged in?
You turned off my
notifications, remember?
What kind of person calls
themselves Gossip Girl?
Yeah, it's the 21st century.
At least be a Gossip Woman.
Is this that Syosset
strip mall party store
that tried to offer
me a sponsorship deal?
Probably some regional tween
hoping to boost his TikTok.
- (LAUGHS)
- Blocked and buried.
Mm, where's Obie?
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
Nothin' I wouldn't do
That I won't do ♪
Switchin' for you ♪
This some shit that I
I usually don't do ♪
But for you I kinda
Kinda want to ♪
(CLEARS THROAT)
'Cause you're down for me
And I'm down too ♪
Whoa, I did not recognize you at all.
Um, it's the dress.
It's new.
Yeah, it looks like, uh
you look like Julien.
Is that a compliment?
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
It's typical for you to
be so trusting and open.
That's why people follow you.
They think that they know you
and they feel entitled to your life,
which they aren't.
Zoya's not some crazy stalker, Audge.
But she is a semi-stranger
who has, by some fortuitous coincidence,
found herself at your school,
- in your friend group
- (ELEVATOR DINGS)
("DRINKS" BY CYN PLAYING)
with your boyfriend?
I'm gonna get us another
round. We're gonna need it.
Look, I, um I almost forgot, I
I brought you this.
And I don't know if it goes
with the dress or whatever
It goes with everything. Thank you.
Taking a band-aid
And ripping it off ♪
- JULIEN: Hey.
- AKI MENZIES: What up, Obes?
OBIE: Hey.
Thank you for coming. You
only have to stay an hour,
and then I'll come to whatever
rally you want next time.
- He hates this place.
- Yes, I do. Very much so, yes.
I mean, if one tenth
of these people donated
the price of one drink to
a charity of their choice
They are the charity
of their choice, Obes,
and that one drink
is to help them forget
what people like you ask of them.
As for me, I have got very
tight plans for the night.
A bourbon, couple bumps, è tutto.
It's a school night, after all.
Aren't you tired of playing
"who's going to win tonight?"
Well, it's not a game if everyone can.
I don't know what
The problem is ♪
I don't think it's me ♪
Feeling like it's automatic ♪
Nice hand-me-down.
- Audrey.
- AUDREY: It's clearly not hers.
It's a fact. I'm speaking factually.
Happy endings can be tragic ♪
- Um, she's right. Julien
- A gift. The first of many.
To make up for the ones
we didn't get to give each other.
Olives or twist?
I say twist.
It's starting to fall ♪
Does it feel like
I'm sprinkling salt? ♪
He got mad ♪
You don't have to drink.
We don't peer pressure.
Yeah, I don't.
- Topo Chico?
- Thanks.
More for me.
Constance can be a great school
if you know how to play it.
I'll tell you everything
you need in order to do so.
St. Jude's used to be its own building,
and the boys still act like it is.
The only place we really mix is
out front or in the courtyard.
Be careful. It's a fishbowl,
so look your best, because
you will be watched.
We use IG for stories, Signal for sexts,
and WhatsApp for abroad,
and Messages to chat.
- What about YouTube?
- MONET: Don't interrupt.
Especially not to say "YouTube."
Personalize your uniform.
Freshmen are scared to,
but you shouldn't be.
It makes you unique,
and it's a middle
finger to the matriarchy
who haven't realized
they're upholding a system
the patriarchy put into place.
Sant Ambroeus or Yura for coffee,
Starbucks for group orders.
The Met Steps or the Great Lawn
to hang, not the south side.
JG Melon's for burgers,
though they check IDs.
Momoya if you're west.
Mezzaluna, not Sarafina's.
Sweetgreen, but for pickup
only. Dumbo Hall, not House.
And Lyft, never Uber. Black, never Lux.
And don't use your real
address. For privacy and safety,
- always a block away.
- I take the bus.
You probably come from a school
where people get to know their teachers.
Nobody does that here.
They're never around long enough
to develop a relationship with anyway.
- They're always leaving.
- Whether they want to or not.
Probably because private
school teachers get paid
substantially less
than public school ones.
- They do?
- MONET: That explains so much.
- Zara.
- Zara.
It's criminal how little they make.
Less than customer
service representatives,
executive assistants,
retail salespeople.
Oh my God.
And wouldn't Ms. Keller be
so much happier at Madewell?
Yeah, Jules, come on.
She works really hard.
Ms. Keller actually interviewed me
for the scholarship. I
thought she was great.
Right, I've been trying to
get her to get this for years.
Oh my God. Um, what's your number?
I'll add you to the group text.
I'm gonna go find my boyfriend.
(PHONE KEYBOARD TAPPING)
("STEAM" BY EXMIRANDA PLAYING)
Buttons rippin'
Off the sleeves ♪
Tuggin' Strippin' off Supreme ♪
Done unzipping off the jeans ♪
I'm just
Lettin' off some steam ♪
Trousers slippin'
Off the knees ♪
Poor Audrey Hope. Married
and monogamous at 16.
Nothing poor about it.
Don't straight-shame me.
Do you ever miss coloring
outside the lines?
Or did you never?
So with all the people in this room,
at this very moment,
you want to spend your
augmented energy on me?
I don't know what it is with you and Ak,
but something's different.
In a good way?
Oh, yeah. The best way.
I'm just
Lettin' off some steam ♪
This isn't on my plan for tonight.
It's all yours if you want it.
You want it?
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
How I want
Is how it's gonna be ♪
Oh well.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
("RUNAWAY" BY REI AMI PLAYING)
AKI: What are you doing?
Don't even bother ♪
What's going on?
Something in the water ♪
Making the ladies go
Rounding the boys ♪
They looking like
Sheep to the slaughter ♪
Confessing to father ♪
(MOANING)
Now they don't know
What to call her ♪
(AUDREY BREATHES HEAVILY)
Now I think I might've
found my friends ♪
Funny 'cause
They want us dead ♪
When the voices
Circle through my head ♪
Shh.
You better run away, run away
Yeah ♪
(GASPS)
And baby
If it hurts, say when ♪
(MOANING)
I'll stop
And then I'll start again ♪
(SIGHS)
- (PHONES PING)
- Huh?
GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted: Calloway
and her crew at Dumbo Hall
with a little something
extra, her sudden sis.
Sorry to crash the party, JC,
but I've got a pic that says
the thousand words you've yet to utter.
Everyone knows, 15 years ago,
Mama Marion dumped DJ Davis for
a new life with Nick Nobody,
yet sadly passed before she
could see her daughters united.
Yet unite they have.
Though you wouldn't
know it to look at them.
Never met before? That's the ruse.
Zoya's entrance to Constance
was signed, sealed, and deceitful.
Or didn't you know? On
the Upper East Side,
scholarships aren't
granted, they're gifted.
What is this thing talking about?
How should I know?
I got that scholarship on my own, right?
- You didn't buy that for me.
- Of course not.
My dad gives money to the school,
part of which goes to
fund the art scholarship.
He doesn't have time to
read the apps, so I do.
And since you have a
passion for theater
Did you know when you
asked me to apply for it
that you would be the one
deciding who gets put forward?
Wh what?
Did someone deserve it more than me?
Why would you think someone else
deserves something more than you?
Wait, you two already know each other?
- On purpose?
- Who cares?
Refresh, it's gone already.
Why would you lie?
We don't lie to each other.
If our dads knew, they never
would have let her move here.
OBIE: They just found out.
Didn't they?
- My dad's not on Instagram.
- My dad's publicist runs his.
And we are not your dad.
I know. It's just, I wanted
to make sure that we
- that I
- Liked me?
- No, that's not
- MAX: Oh, oh, oh.
So you were afraid that Z would be Z's.
I don't want to lose my place here.
In fact, I can't I can't
actually afford to stay here
without that scholarship.
So please, make it make sense,
who would do something like this?
Students work in the office.
Someone is clearly
trying to fuck with me,
but it's nothing.
It's just gossip. We're fine.
It doesn't matter.
Nobody cares, right? Do any of you care?
I'm gonna go.
You said you would do the story first.
(SIGHS)
(DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
You could've told me.
- I'll walk out with you.
- Yeah.
(RAIN PATTERING)
OBIE: You know, what
Julien said is right.
I mean, the whole Gossip Girl thing,
it's just somebody playing a game.
It's a lot of trouble for just a game.
I mean, creating an
account, teasing us all day,
and then dropping a bomb just
to publicly shame her and me?
(CHUCKLES) It comes with
the territory up here.
And if you have something
that people want,
you have something to lose.
Right? People try and take us down.
They never can, though.
And you're one of us now.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
- Oh, shit!
- Shit, shit, shit, shit
- All right, look, the C station
is just a few more blocks up, all right?
And what happens when I get out
at the other end, where it's four?
I don't know if I have
to give this dress back.
I do live right there,
if you wanna just wait
it out with me for a bit?
- Yes, sure, okay.
- Yeah, okay, all right.
- Just for a bit.
- Great.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
ZOYA: You have the whole floor?
Um, the building.
Uh, if you If want
to give me your dress,
I can go hang it in the sauna
and it'll be dry in no time.
And then,
you know, you can just
borrow an umbrella.
Oh. Okay. Um, where can I change?
If we get these floors
wet, my mom will kill me.
So
I won't look.
You have my word.
Okay.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
Ready when you are.
Mm-hmm. I'll grab you a sweater.
I'm sorry Julien didn't
tell you about me.
I am too.
Not surprised, though.
I shouldn't
I shouldn't say that. You're her sister.
I am, but,
God, even I barely know her.
Sometimes it's just feels like
we're not even dating anymore.
Really, you know, like I'm just
this actor, and I'm playing
her boyfriend in her story.
When we first got
together though, it was
totally different.
That was way before she
got into any of that stuff.
And we were interested
in the same things,
she wanted to make
her mark on the world.
And now she just, like, tells me what
to wear and where to be and what to say.
She's making her mark, for
sure. Don't get me wrong.
I mean, she's got a lot of influence.
You know, it's just it's
it's her world, it's not
it's not ours.
(SIGHS) Okay.
Two years ago, on my birthday.
I got this DM from someone who
- I'd only ever heard of.
- Mm-hmm.
She'd been mythical to me, and
then suddenly, she was real.
We DM'd and talked pretty much
every single day since then.
The Julien that I got to know
on the other end of those phone calls?
Yeah, she's different from
the one that I met today.
More like the one you miss.
Which means she's still in there.
What?
It's just, uh,
it's nice to hear someone
be kind for a change.
It's nice to feel kindness for a change.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Well, um
the rain has stopped.
You should probably get
your dress before it shrinks.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yup.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
The only time I felt more gross
than standing here showing you these
is the moment that I
took them to show you!
I should be arrested.
They were standing in front of a window.
- Anyone could have seen that.
- Anyone didn't. I did.
- You won't use these, right?
- I don't want to.
But
we're either in this or we're not.
(MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
- Whatever you may have read
- Not even 9:00.
I'm so glad I can always trust you.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(PHONE ALARM RINGING)
("THEREFORE I AM" BY
BILLIE EILISH PLAYING)
I'm not your friend
Or anything ♪
Damn, you think
That you're the man ♪
GOSSIP GIRL: Ah, New York.
Is there anything more romantic
than a walk in the fall rain?
Only what happens after
behind closed doors.
Or open windows.
Hey JC, looks like DNA isn't
all you and your sister share.
- Julien, it's not true.
- Of course it isn't.
ZOYA: He just gave me a place
to wait till the rain stopped.
What is this Gossip Girl thing
and why is it out to get us?
They're after me.
You're just collateral.
But whoever it is, I won't let them win.
Know how I feel
Top of the world but ♪
Did we go about this the wrong way?
Not telling anyone?
You have to be strategic about the way
that you present things to the world.
We just weren't careful enough.
We'll tell everyone
some jealous freshman
is trying to stir shit between us.
But there's no shit to stir.
It'll all blow over
if we just show that
it hasn't gotten to us.
I'll see you in the courtyard.
I'm not your friend
Or anything, damn ♪
You think that
You're the man ♪
I think, therefore I am ♪
I'm sorry ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(SIGHS)
STUDENT 1: Hey, look,
there he is. The cheater.
STUDENT 2: With a freshman?
That's so gross, Obie.
STUDENT 1: Yeah, keep walking.
STUDENT 3: I can't believe
he did that. Freak, man.
Why would you ever cheat on Julien?
- I didn't.
- Oh, so Gossip Girl's lying?
Of course he'd say that.
Dude, I've been defending
your honor all morning,
as if it was The Crucible.
Gotta say, not the best optics,
- your girlfriend's sister.
- I didn't do anything, Ak.
All right? You know I would
never do anything like that.
It's just
- some crazy kind of
- Social media nightmare!
You as someone who loses
is bad for business.
I didn't lose anything.
And everything will be
fine so long as you win.
Olivia Jade gained followers
when her mom went to jail.
Exactly, her mom went to jail.
For Jules to rise above
this, she has to destroy Zoya.
Ladies, ladies, nobody's
gonna believe that gossip.
Zoya's a 14-year-old nobody, and I'm me.
First she stole her mom,
then she stole her man.
If you want to get back at Zobie,
I volunteer as tribute.
Oh my God, they're already a hashtag.
- You need to do something.
- This shit ain't it.
I got us a regular Lyft,
we can talk in here.
- Julien, I'm so, so sorry.
- It's not your fault.
I feel terrible anyway.
I'm just so confused about everything.
The whole school was
either staring me down
or high fiving me all day.
I've come up with a
plan to get us past this.
I did a little research on Gossip Girl.
There were these two best friends
she was obsessed with forever ago.
It's kind of a badge of
honor that she chose us.
All we have to do
is take a page from the
Blair and Serena playbook,
and beat Gossip Girl at her own game.
How do you beat an anonymous troll?
Since no one believes
the truth, only the lie,
we have to lie in return.
We plan a public
showdown, nothing too big,
just where I look like
I get the power back.
And then everything can go
back to the way that it was.
Us, as the sisters we're meant to be.
How do you get the power back?
JULIEN: I'm walking in the
Christopher John Rogers show
tomorrow at the Armory.
It's a big deal for my brand identity.
And I'll make sure that you have a seat.
But I'll forget to put you on
the list for the after-party.
And all you have to do is
make a scene when they don't let you in.
Monet and Luna will take a
photo of Obie and I inside,
with your meltdown outside.
ZOYA: You really think Obie's
gonna go along with this?
JULIEN: He does things for
me. He's good like that.
But you should stay away
from him for the time being.
And we should stay out of
each other's way as well.
Just till the show.
Build the tension, you know.
Tease it, like Gossip Girl did.
Speaking of that devil.
- What are you doing?
- JULIEN: Tossing out the bait.
GOSSIP GIRL: You might have
noticed it's been all quiet
on the Upper Eastern front
for the past 24 hours.
Think the storm has
passed? Not a chance.
Sources tell us to keep your
eyes peeled at the Armory.
Who doesn't love a fashion showdown?
I tried to warn her.
I mean, our group of friends
have known each other
since we were babies.
We have trust and and history.
So no new friends, ever?
AUDREY: I'm not saying
pull up the drawbridge.
I just think it is so terribly
odd that she lied about it.
Well, it's Julien's life.
I mean, whatever reasons
she had made sense to her.
I didn't book a session,
Dr. Menzies, please.
Hey, it's just share in
my outrage for one moment.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
Okay, however it came to be,
secret sisters fighting
over Prince George
is as déclassé as an Andy Cohen show.
It's time to ice out
that social climber.
Are you guys still in that text chain?
Yes.
Thank you. Thank you.
Where's your dad's concealer again?
Top right drawer.
All right.
("JUST CHECKING IN" BY KLLO PLAYING)
- Here we go.
- No, no, no, not for me.
Sies Marjan was for everybody, so
Yeah, if you're in, like,
a Gaspar Noé movie maybe,
but I don't like to stick out.
Well, you already do, so
You choose
Hello ♪
Hand on my heart ♪
Where you going?
Mirror's here.
No sense checking in ♪
Hand on my heart
I'm calling again ♪
And I'm just checking in ♪
Hello ♪
You said to me
"Don't call in again" ♪
I don't ♪
Nothing ♪
I'll never talk again ♪
Do I make it? ♪
I'll know ♪
My end ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Julien? I've had my eye on you.
- Looking forward to it.
- Thank you, Lindsay.
Have you been reading
the comments on this post?
People are expecting you
to go full Cersei tonight,
but your plan is Saoirse.
What part of "destroy"
did you not understand?
I agree.
Leaving someone off a guest
list is for bat mitzvahs.
- She's my sister. I'm not
- You think just 'cause you're related to her,
she doesn't have it out for you?
Ever heard of Shakespeare?
Succession? The Bible?
Fam v fam's the number one
story since the dawn of dawn.
She worked you.
She just wanted in.
- It's not like
- You're losing followers, okay?
She's getting them.
(SCOFFS) Finally.
(SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
What's the plan?
Well, the world thinks Z is
out to snatch whatever JC has.
So we'll follow that thread.
We'll make it seem like she
planned some big secret sabotage
to ruin Jules's big moment.
And then when that plan goes off,
we'll be there to point
out the person who did it.
She'll be so humiliated in front
of the only people that matter
that she'll never want to show
her face outside of school again.
Mm, I love us.
When did she say it would go down?
The after-party. So, um, we have time.
I want to see the show, so
("SPIDERS" BY JUNGLEPUSSY PLAYING)
'Cause I keep
My lights down low ♪
You won't know
When my next move ♪
Cooking up like mama food ♪
- (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
- Love that.
Shook you up like spiders do ♪
'Cause I keep
My lights down low ♪
(MONET GRUNTS)
Don't you know? You can't
use your phone in here.
If someone sees you,
you'll get thrown out,
and then you wouldn't be able to
help your sister with her plan.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- Okay. Well, now you do.
Your seat's over there.
Wait. I need you.
Well, part of you.
Hurry. Go, go, go.
(SIGHS) Hurry, we don't have time.
What? You're the stylist. Style me.
I'll give you
Some time of day ♪
(CHUCKLES)
But you
Cannot spend the night ♪
("A PALÉ" BY ROSALÍA PLAYING)
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
- Ooh.
- Right?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CHUCKLES) That tracks.
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING CONTINUES ON TV)
- MONET: Here she comes.
- How do you know this'll work?
Just like you don't
need someone's password
to take a photo, you
don't need one to share it.
(PHONE PINGS)
(PHONE PINGS)
(APPLAUSE)
(PHONES PINGING)
- (INDISTINCT MUTTERING)
- AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: Ew!
AUDIENCE MEMBER 2: What
the hell? Who sent this?
- AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: Ew, ew!
- AUDIENCE MEMBER 4: Oh, not bad.
AUDIENCE MEMBER 5:
Anybody recognize them?
MONET: Security! Over here.
- Hi.
- You saw that photo, right?
Yeah, we saw who sent it.
It's the girl in that orange dress.
(PHONES PINGING)
(PINGING CONTINUES)
SECURITY GUARD 1: Come
with us, please, right now.
Sorry, wha what's going on?
SECURITY GUARD 2: Just follow me.
AUDIENCE MEMBER 6: It was her!
AUDIENCE MEMBER 7: See, right
there! She's the one who sent it!
AUDIENCE MEMBER 8:
That's who sent it? Her?
(AUDIENCE JEERING)
You dropped your phone.
KATE: This isn't the after-party.
Did we get played?
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(AUDIENCE CHEERS)
(PHONE PINGS)
- What are you doing?
- Cementing us.
GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted: Some Upper
East Side style sibling rivalry.
It may look like Z was
trying to steal the light,
but she was unaware of
Julien and her callow ways.
It's a long drop from A-list to Z,
but at least everything is
back where it's meant to be.
She looks triumphant.
REEMA: Oh my God!
WENDY: What?
(APPLAUSE, CONTINUES)
GOSSIP GIRL: Still, I'd watch out, JC.
You bought what you needed,
but now, you'll pay the price.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
- Julien?
- Oh. Good, you're here.
I had no idea Monet and
Luna were gonna do that.
Why didn't you stop it when it happened?
You stood there.
Worse you liked it.
- No, I didn't. Z
- You don't get to call me that.
My God, you're really blowing
this out of proportion.
I'm hurt.
You hurt me.
Why did you bring me here?
- You're my sister.
- We don't even know each other.
Mom wanted us to.
She left us a clue to make sure.
Julien Elizabeth, Zoya Jane.
So don't let some petty
high school bullshit
change what we planned.
I've spent my whole life
wondering who Mom was.
What she was really like.
Why I never got to know her.
And the only thing that made it better
when I got so low was knowing that
there was somebody else
wondering the same things.
But you don't even
care about that, do you?
You only care about how
other people see you.
You just got here.
You have no idea how hard it was
for me to become who I am today.
Dead mom, drunk or disappearing dad.
And now I'm not just
known, I'm influential.
It takes a lot of work
to matter like that,
to become something.
And I can't have that
taken away from me.
You don't know who I was before this.
I had a life in Buffalo. Friends.
I pushed my dad to move
here because you asked me to.
Because you said you
wanted to be the family
we were meant to be.
I wish I never came.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have.
But you're here now, so
this can go one of two ways.
You can learn me
or you can leave.
I've learned enough.
But I'm not gonna leave either.
There's room for more
than just you to matter.
(SCOFFS)
Do you really think you can
go up against me and win?
(LAUGHS) See, that's your problem.
You still think there's
something to win.
But I'm not playing your game.
So its outcome means nothing to me.
That's right. How could I forget?
People like you don't win. They steal.
Just like your dad did.
So
good luck, Z.
Great, now we can go
to The Blond together.
(BREATHES SHAKILY)
Babe?
What you did back there
I didn't do anything.
I've been waiting a long
long time for this.
For what?
OBIE: For you to show
who you really are.
I mean, I feel like
I feel like an idiot
for thinking that you were
ever somebody I could l
I let it get too far
tonight. I know that.
But I'll do better, I promise.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe you will, but I
won't be there when you do.
I'm I'm done. Sir, can you just
- I'm gonna get out right here.
- Obie! You can't just
I can explain.
NICK: You don't have to.
You and your sister
have committed fraud.
You could get thrown out of that school.
- This could go on your record.
- No, it won't. I'll
I'll tell them that I had no idea
Julien got me the scholarship.
- You mean you'll lie?
- I had no idea, Dad. Really.
And I would have
gotten it anyway, right?
Now you'll never know.
(PHONE PINGS)
GOSSIP GIRL: We started
off painting on cave walls.
Representations of what we
saw and knew to be true.
That bear, the sun, ourselves.
I'm sorry it's taking me so long.
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
You know you can think about him, right?
What?
GOSSIP GIRL: But very soon,
facts of family and
fire turned into fables.
That bear, vanquished.
The sun, a god.
And us? Anything we wanted to be.
(BOTH MOANING)
GOSSIP GIRL: And
we've never gone back.
(PANTING)
GOSSIP GIRL: There's a reason we call
the act of relating something,
"telling a story."
We say it even when it's true.
We also say it when it's a lie.
("I CAN'T STAY THE SAME"
BY VANESSA CARLTON PLAYING)
"Ooh, have I got a story for you."
"Do you wanna hear something crazy?"
"You will not believe what
I'm about to tell you."
I had a plan
I had a past ♪
GOSSIP GIRL: Which is
how we got to today.
It's all a story now.
And we love to tell it.
It doesn't matter if it's real.
It doesn't matter if it happened to you
or if you did it.
It only matters if I say you did.
I knew the words ♪
GOSSIP GIRL: Because what they
realized then is still true now.
The only thing that
makes a story interesting
is how it's told and who's telling it.
I can't ♪
Those shoes are cool.
I can't stay the same ♪
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
Uh, are you still going to
the RTC Alliance after school?
I can't ♪
I am still going to the RTC
Alliance after school, yeah.
I I would really love to join you.
(CHUCKLES)
I would love for you to join me too.
It was gift to admit ♪
(BOTH GRUNT)
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
It's all my fault, not yours.
I knew it once
I felt it twice ♪
I like your blazer.
Thank you.
I'll see you in class.
My revolution wasn't simple ♪
But it was a quiet mind ♪
GOSSIP GIRL: I told you
you couldn't hide from me.
I told you I saw you.
I can't ♪
GOSSIP GIRL: But if there's one
thing you can hold as true,
then as now, it's this.
It may take some time,
it may hurt a little bit,
but I know you'll love me.
Which one of these should we post next?
Whichever we want. The
future is ours again.
GOSSIP GIRL: XOXO, Gossip Girl.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)