Ground Floor (2013) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
Come on, Brody.
Everyone's at the company party but us.
Let's go.
I have work to do.
Dude, Mansfield said that we could go for 30 minutes, and I should've told you that 20 minutes ago.
Let's go.
It's gonna be beast.
Fine, I will go if you promise never to say "beast" again.
Let's go! - Cheers, pal.
- Okay.
- Mnh! Mnh! Mnh! Ooh! Yeah! - It's was, like, a late - Yeah.
Yeah.
- It was a late one.
- It hit late.
- Ooh.
You know, this party is pretty beast.
You just promised you wouldn't say that.
- One last round? - Let's do it.
Hey, can I get a Hey, buddy, I just need two I have one month to live.
I'd really like a Tell me you love the 49ers.
- Oh.
I do love the 49ers.
- Louder.
I love the 49ers.
God, I love the Niners.
This is their year.
What can I get you? I would like to have two shots Uh, one Tequila, one lemon drop.
The lemon drop's not for me.
I actually think it's kind of sexy when a guy's confident enough to order a girly drink.
Could I have some extra sugar on that rim and maybe one of those little umbrella thingies? - I'm Brody.
I work upstairs.
- I'm Jenny.
I work downstairs.
So you're one of those arrogant upstairs guys - who works, like, 24/7, yeah? - We don't work that much.
- Ever take time off? - Yeah.
This is it.
I have 15 minutes.
Well, that doesn't sound very fun.
Don't you wanna ditch sometimes? I don't know.
I never found a good reason to, I guess.
- Bro.
- Mm? Mansfield sent out a mass e-mail.
He wants us all back at work right now.
- What do you think? One more drink or - Oh, gosh.
I don't know, fellas.
Is is Mansfield one of those bosses who doesn't mind when you ignore him? Or is he the type of boss that would move your desk into the men's room for a month because you decided getting one more drink was more important than the company he built with the blood of his ancestors? - He's Mansfield, isn't he? - He so is.
- Nice meeting you.
- You, too.
Oh, good.
You're up.
Guess what? My mom's in the neighborhood, and she wants to go to brunch.
You'll come, right? She thinks you're so cute.
I texted her a picture of you sleeping.
Ha! I'm totally kidding, dude.
You should've seen your face.
That was pretty damn funny.
Um, I gotta bounce.
Okay.
All right.
Keeping it casual.
Love it.
So how do we say good-bye without this feeling so awkward and weird? Great work last night? - Hell, yeah.
- All right! Open? Closed? Whatever.
Okay.
Season 1, Episode 1 "Pilot" Synced by Reef Yo, Threepeat.
Keep dropping the ball on the Danson trust, and I'm gonna steal that client.
- Ball tap.
- Uhh! It's the only way to keep these young guys in check, you know? I know you think you're being their mentor, but really, at the end of the day, you're just grabbin' nuts.
So, uh, that girl that I hooked up with is pretty cool.
She works for the company support staff.
Dude, you hooked up with a ground floor chick? Was it on a dare? You're judging me? Because you carry a list in your pocket of stuff you'd like to have sex with.
Oh, and look.
You crossed off "giant stuffed teddybear.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
We were in a toy store.
You gotta check this out.
Fellas, gather 'round.
Oh, this part's boring.
It's mostly just kissing.
Well, this is good.
See, I was worried that you'd all waste the five or so minutes before our morning meeting working on your pitch books.
Instead, I see something that, honest to God, I wish I could show to all our clients.
The fine young men I picked to manage their money, gathered together, watching one of their brethren pretend to make love to a toy.
- Mr.
Moyer, not participating? - I'm too sad for the bear, sir.
Well, he's a build-a-bear, son.
We'll be able to fix him.
Still, I was speaking of Friday night.
You never came back to work.
Young Kyle here tattled on you.
And I know, Kyle.
I promised I wouldn't tell who told me.
But, son, I lie sometimes.
Mr.
Moyer, join me for one minute out on the balcony, won't you, please? Let's, uh, let's spark up some guy talk.
What do you say? I'll lead off.
Please, have a seat.
How 'bout those Niners? Do you like working here? I'm sorry that I skipped out on Friday night.
I just There was this girl Ah, yes.
The start of every tragic story.
She works on the ground floor There's something you need to understand about ground floor people.
You see, they came here right out of high school, and they're sitting behind the same desk that they'll be sitting behind for the rest of their lives.
The only way out is to find a meal ticket like you, Mr.
Moyer.
Oh, well, she didn't seem like that kind of I'll give you a signal when I'm done talking, son.
Now I refuse to lose my most promising young money manager to a sea of personal problems.
You go down, tell her it's over.
Be nice, but be clear.
I assume you're grinning like an idiot right now because I said "most promising" earlier? I am.
Stand up.
Please don't celebrate till you've left my balcony.
I can't believe you slept with one of those soulless upstairs guys.
My one-night stand alarm went off, okay? I only let myself do those biannually.
I was in a weird mood.
My mom sold the house I grew up in.
- Where was it? - Everywhere.
Oh.
It's an RV.
Yeah.
It was cool.
Sometimes I used to drive my house to high school.
How about you, Derrick? You hook up at the party? Oh, man, I got me a little Cuban chick.
Slammin' bod.
I mean, she had some fiesta titties, man! Sweet.
What's her name? - I didn't meet nobody.
- Ah! I thought you were gonna try to stop lying all the time.
Yeah, man, I can't stop the first lie.
That's just who I am.
Jenny's making me work on coming clean if somebody asks a follow-up question, though.
So please, no follow-up questions.
So I take it your brother's not getting us playoff tickets? No, dude, he's definitely gonna get the tickets.
- Is he really getting the tickets? - Hell, no, man! Brody! Hi.
Hey.
I didn't even know there were offices down here.
Wow, it's hot.
Oh, yeah, that's 'cause all the building's electrical equipment's back there.
I'm pretty sure none of us can have babies.
Look, I wanted to explain something about the other night.
Don't sweat it, okay? Everybody's got weird sex stuff.
I like eye contact, and you like to yell "Yahtzee!" when you finish.
What? I can't help it.
I say "Yahtzee" when I get turned on.
Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
Whoo! Last night I was out dancin' with my gays till Well, now.
Changing to my work clothes.
Is this the upstairs guy? You look like a tool.
- Be nice.
- Okay.
You look like a tool! All better.
Ooh, that was awesome.
I'm sorry.
I should've said I was in there.
That's my bad.
Whatever, man.
I'm just glad I'm finally at work.
Gotta get some sleep.
Anyway, I just wanted to ta Building support.
Hey.
Come on.
Let's step outside, chat for a second.
- No thanks, man.
- Aw, come on.
I'll give you the scoop on Jenny.
Oh, he liked that.
Hoo! Hey, fellas.
Uh, anybody want a cigar? That's disgusting.
Are you sure? They are falling from the sky.
Oh! Still lit.
That means it's fresh.
Now here is the scoop on Jenny.
Stay away from her.
She loves me.
We're just in that magical time in a relationship before she knows she's in one.
What other imaginary things do you and Jenny do together, huh? You go on long walks by the ocean? Go to one of those build-your-own-yogurt places, and then she puts a cherry on her nose? You bite it off, right? But now you're too cold.
Now you guys go to that coffee hut.
You get your soy latte on, right? Because she can't digest dairy.
And then you say, "I love you, honey.
" And she looks right back at you.
And then what happens? Calm down, Harvard.
How'd you know that I went to Harvard? Uh, he was talking to me, fancy pants.
We call him "Harvard" 'cause he went to college.
A very competitive community college.
It's a 24-month program, and I actually finished it in 22.
Hey.
So what'd you need to talk about? I was actually hoping to do this a little more privately.
"Do this more privately.
" Friday night was great, and you're a really sweet girl, but Do you wear colored contacts? No.
They're so blue.
The hell with it.
We both had a great time.
We should go out again.
Um no, thanks.
But thank you for asking.
Did you seriously just turn me down? Yeah, she did, and we all heard it.
So good-bye! I would never date an upstairs guy.
My boss told me it was like your dream to date a guy like me.
So you and your boss sit around and talk about who we want to date? I told you they don't actually do anything up there.
"Buy! Buy! Sell! Sell! Hey, how's your new horse?" - We don't all have horses, man.
- Prove it.
I don't know how to prove I don't have a horse.
Look, Brody, it's really not about you, okay? It just seems like you upstairs guys are just kind of, um Sad.
- Sad?! What?! - Mm-hmm.
How are we sad? Maybe you're sad 'cause you're so loud.
It just seems like you never have any fun, you know? I mean, we work hard, but down here, it's just It's not as uptight, you know? Like, if a great song comes on We're gonna have a dance break, you know? - Unh! - Brody, do you know? Do you know? You know? Brody, do you know? That's very unpleasant.
Okay.
Yahtzee.
Sorry.
Did you get mad because all the people seemed happy? You're a cute little nerd.
I'm gonna go back to work, okay? - Yeah, why don't you ride your horse back? - Hey, I will kill you! Dance break, man! - You want in on this? - No.
- No? - No.
Threepeat, Threepeat, on the street Threepeat, peat, peat, on the repeat, peat, peat Oh! Oh! Threepeat, Three, Three, Threepeat That's my name.
- Okay.
- Okay! Okay, stop! This is a place of business, man.
Oh, come on, man! Fun Brody up in this beast! - Let's ditch work and get outta here.
- And go where, Mr.
Moyer? Uh, to that room where it's easier to work.
The special workroom.
My office, please.
Ooh.
Automatic door remote.
That's very beast, sir.
Thank you.
You have one hour to come up with a new word.
Understood.
I'm really sorry.
I just See all these words that I've posted around the office? Do you ever wonder why I picked those particular words? Because they're all qualities that you would like us to have? No.
It's because they're all words I use to describe myself.
And I find that Impressive Come.
Sir, that girl downstairs messed with my head.
Talking to her is like drinking Tequila.
One second, you think you're totally in control.
And then the next thing you know, you wake up naked in the yard, and your mom keeps saying that you've ruined Christmas.
This girl's got me questioning my whole life.
You got yourself a life-unraveler, don't you? That's a girl who says things that makes you look at your life in a whole new and mostly negative way.
Yes.
She made me feel like my life is empty, that all I do is work.
I don't know.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe I'm not having any fun.
You think I have fun, Mr.
Moyer? Well, you got drunk at the 4th of July barbeque, and you and your wife had sex in the bouncy castle.
I love America, Mr.
Moyer.
Son, I am crazy rich.
I work three days a week.
I haven't missed my daughter's volleyball game in five years.
And I take my family on vacation whenever I want to.
And do you know why I have all of those things? Because I literally busted my ass until I was 40.
And sure, some of these ground floor people have fun now, but where are they gonna be in ten years? Nowhere.
Struggling to make rent with no future.
And I'm telling you right now, that's not as much fun as a beach house.
Or a horse.
I can't believe I let that girl twist me up.
But no more.
You know what you are, sir? You're a life-raveler.
Yes, I am.
And that's damn sure going up on the wall.
Sir, in regards to finding a replacement word for "beast," what are your thoughts on "fandango?" I like that a great deal.
I would like to let you all know that I will not be coming back here anymore.
I feel like at this point you're down here more than we are.
Hey, sad upstairs dude.
You know what? I am not sad, okay.
You know whose lives are sad? Yours.
You all keep pretending you're happy, and I'm gonna go upstairs and build my future and get my beach house, because apparently they're very fun.
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
Mr.
Wishes-he-had-my-beard thinks he's better than all of us.
I could put a suit on and do your job tomorrow.
I could do it today, but I would need to borrow a suit from my dad first.
Okay, and on that final insane note, I will now say good-bye and good riddance.
What is that look? Why are you giving me that look? I'm just really worried that you're gonna feel bad about the stuff you just said, and I want you to know that I forgive you.
Stop asking her questions, Brody! You talk to yourself a lot.
Ignore her.
Hey.
I know it's Weird, me coming here this late No, Jenny, it's not weird at all.
I can't stop thinking about you either.
I just came 'cause I left my scarf.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on.
Come on in.
Sure, sure, sure.
- Oh, good.
You found it.
- Yeah.
See ya.
Aw, not if I don't see you first, girl.
- What? - What? - Okay.
- Sure.
Yeah, peace! And I said, "the only way I'm flying commercial is if they're shooting a commercial about flying privately.
" This guy gets it.
Hey, who's the new guy? He just started here.
Came over from Goldman.
Let's try to be the best version of ourselves out there today.
All right, fellas? I mean, after all, it's not just money we're playing with.
It's also people's lives.
Wait.
That's a joke.
I didn't realize how cynical you all are.
You're horrible.
You're actually horrible people.
Hey, new guy.
Can I actually talk to you out in the hallway, please? Ohh.
What's the problem, chief? Do you feel Threatened by me? I get it.
It's a lot of pressure having to be the best all the time.
You've got Asian parents.
You know what I'm talking about.
Hey, uh, when were you at Goldman? I was there for two years.
I don't remember you.
You know what? Sorry.
We actually need to talk right now.
Okay.
Guess he wants to show me his horse.
He's right about the pressure, you know.
My parents still make me take violin lessons.
When will I ever be good enough for them? - Ball tap.
- Uhh! They totally bought it.
God, I feel alive.
I think I have an erection.
Yes, I do.
Do you even realize how dumb that was? The second Mansfield came in, your ass would've been fired.
Well, it's not as dumb as kissing a girl who just stands there and doesn't even kiss you back.
Jenny didn't just stand there.
She kissed me back.
Wait.
She kissed me back.
Well, it's gone now.
Hi.
You kissed me back.
What? Your lips moved just as much as mine, and your tongue was everywhere.
My tongue was just hiding from your tongue.
Really? It was hiding in my mouth? That's a bad hiding spot because my tongue found it right away.
Will you just admit that you kissed me back? Of course I kissed you back, Brody.
I'm not rude.
If somebody kisses me, I always kiss back.
Jenny, can I talk to you in the closet for a second? You can't admit it, can you, that we connected? I just wanted my scarf back.
What did you want with a scarf at 11:00 at night? What are you, the scarf police? You know what I think? I think you like me.
I think you like that I'm successful.
I think you like that I'm honest.
But I'm not the guy that you think you're supposed to like, and that's got you all twisted up.
And that's the truth, and we both know it.
Hey.
Um Are you doing anything fun for your birthday tonight? How'd you know it was my birthday? Um, the first night that we got together, I looked through your wallet.
Taking some cash.
I do that.
I couldn't remember your name, so I looked at your license.
"Carol" is a rough middle name, bro.
Well, on your birthday, Mansfield takes you out for steak and scotch.
Cool.
Is that fun? Well, it's kind of mandatory.
It's like going to the dentist once a year.
You go to the dentist.
We get it.
You know, quit bragging.
Well, when was the last time you did something fun for your birthday? Well On my 18th birthday, right before my dad passed away, he took me to this piano bar.
He snuck me in.
He let me have a few beers.
And, uh, he played Elton John songs all night on the piano.
I actually sang one of them, and, uh, everyone joined in.
It was really awesome.
Sounds really awesome.
We go to that dive bar up the street after work.
You should come with us.
- Yeah, come with us.
Have some fun.
- Yeah.
- Come on, man.
- Get on out.
Or don't, you know, if you're busy.
I can't.
Uh, it's not really my choice.
If you change your mind, we leave here at 6:00.
Hey, Brody.
Wait.
That, uh, that thing about your dad - Yeah.
- Um Don't come tonight.
Oh, birthday steaks and scotch tonight.
Who's ready, boys? We're just gonna finish this client brief on interest rate projections And then we will head out, sir.
Going late to his own birthday party.
Ladies and gentlemen, Brody Moyer is back on track.
And do you know why? Life-Raveler You're welcome.
There's, like, three chairs missing from this table.
These chairs are fantastic! It's like you're about to fall, and then you don't.
Like, oh, my God! Oh, I'm fine.
All right, it's 20 after.
That means it's time to go because he's not coming.
I just I wanna wait a little bit longer.
Look, if we wait too long, the bartender who thinks I'm cute and trades me drinks for hugs is gonna be gone, and then the girl bartender's gonna be there.
Okay, fine.
We can go.
What's the big deal about this guy anyways? He's just another soulless, upstairs tool.
No.
He's got a soul, man.
He rescued you.
All those other guys would've let you get fired and then laughed at you.
Well, maybe.
Maybe he has a little bit of soul.
Yo, Derrick, let's go! Tori's already gone.
What really?! Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Who are they singing to? Happy Birthday, dear Brody Happy Birthday to you They don't even know I'm not there.
I'm sorry, man.
Don't be sad.
I'll play it for you later on my violin.
I'll grab some beers.
No, thanks.
I'm good.
You know, if I had a son, he'd probably be just like that.
Excuse me, sir? Nothing.
Nothing.
It's just interesting.
Sometimes a young man can ignore your wishes, and you end up respecting him more.
Mm.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Save a little for next time.
No way! He came! - Ohh! Happy Birthday, Brody! - Hey, Carol! Thank you.
- I knew you would come.
- No, you didn't.
If I didn't know, why did I have them bring the old piano out? You remember? The last time you had fun on your birthday.
Yeah, but that piano's here all the time though, isn't it? Have you ever been here before? - No.
- Then no, it's not.
You're up, Derrick.
Let's go.
- Here'e go.
Oh! Oh! - Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Wait.
Hold on a second.
You can play piano? No.
But, you know, I can do a little somethin' somethin'.
(Playing Elton John's "Your Song") Oh.
That's Elton John, isn't it? - Yes.
- So you should sing.
- No, no.
That's ridiculous.
- Yes! - Come on! Get up there! - You've gotta.
Yes.
No.
Guys, I really don't like being the center of And you can tell everybody This is your song It may be quite simple, but Now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful Life is Now you're in the world He's horrible.
Synced by Reef
Everyone's at the company party but us.
Let's go.
I have work to do.
Dude, Mansfield said that we could go for 30 minutes, and I should've told you that 20 minutes ago.
Let's go.
It's gonna be beast.
Fine, I will go if you promise never to say "beast" again.
Let's go! - Cheers, pal.
- Okay.
- Mnh! Mnh! Mnh! Ooh! Yeah! - It's was, like, a late - Yeah.
Yeah.
- It was a late one.
- It hit late.
- Ooh.
You know, this party is pretty beast.
You just promised you wouldn't say that.
- One last round? - Let's do it.
Hey, can I get a Hey, buddy, I just need two I have one month to live.
I'd really like a Tell me you love the 49ers.
- Oh.
I do love the 49ers.
- Louder.
I love the 49ers.
God, I love the Niners.
This is their year.
What can I get you? I would like to have two shots Uh, one Tequila, one lemon drop.
The lemon drop's not for me.
I actually think it's kind of sexy when a guy's confident enough to order a girly drink.
Could I have some extra sugar on that rim and maybe one of those little umbrella thingies? - I'm Brody.
I work upstairs.
- I'm Jenny.
I work downstairs.
So you're one of those arrogant upstairs guys - who works, like, 24/7, yeah? - We don't work that much.
- Ever take time off? - Yeah.
This is it.
I have 15 minutes.
Well, that doesn't sound very fun.
Don't you wanna ditch sometimes? I don't know.
I never found a good reason to, I guess.
- Bro.
- Mm? Mansfield sent out a mass e-mail.
He wants us all back at work right now.
- What do you think? One more drink or - Oh, gosh.
I don't know, fellas.
Is is Mansfield one of those bosses who doesn't mind when you ignore him? Or is he the type of boss that would move your desk into the men's room for a month because you decided getting one more drink was more important than the company he built with the blood of his ancestors? - He's Mansfield, isn't he? - He so is.
- Nice meeting you.
- You, too.
Oh, good.
You're up.
Guess what? My mom's in the neighborhood, and she wants to go to brunch.
You'll come, right? She thinks you're so cute.
I texted her a picture of you sleeping.
Ha! I'm totally kidding, dude.
You should've seen your face.
That was pretty damn funny.
Um, I gotta bounce.
Okay.
All right.
Keeping it casual.
Love it.
So how do we say good-bye without this feeling so awkward and weird? Great work last night? - Hell, yeah.
- All right! Open? Closed? Whatever.
Okay.
Season 1, Episode 1 "Pilot" Synced by Reef Yo, Threepeat.
Keep dropping the ball on the Danson trust, and I'm gonna steal that client.
- Ball tap.
- Uhh! It's the only way to keep these young guys in check, you know? I know you think you're being their mentor, but really, at the end of the day, you're just grabbin' nuts.
So, uh, that girl that I hooked up with is pretty cool.
She works for the company support staff.
Dude, you hooked up with a ground floor chick? Was it on a dare? You're judging me? Because you carry a list in your pocket of stuff you'd like to have sex with.
Oh, and look.
You crossed off "giant stuffed teddybear.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
We were in a toy store.
You gotta check this out.
Fellas, gather 'round.
Oh, this part's boring.
It's mostly just kissing.
Well, this is good.
See, I was worried that you'd all waste the five or so minutes before our morning meeting working on your pitch books.
Instead, I see something that, honest to God, I wish I could show to all our clients.
The fine young men I picked to manage their money, gathered together, watching one of their brethren pretend to make love to a toy.
- Mr.
Moyer, not participating? - I'm too sad for the bear, sir.
Well, he's a build-a-bear, son.
We'll be able to fix him.
Still, I was speaking of Friday night.
You never came back to work.
Young Kyle here tattled on you.
And I know, Kyle.
I promised I wouldn't tell who told me.
But, son, I lie sometimes.
Mr.
Moyer, join me for one minute out on the balcony, won't you, please? Let's, uh, let's spark up some guy talk.
What do you say? I'll lead off.
Please, have a seat.
How 'bout those Niners? Do you like working here? I'm sorry that I skipped out on Friday night.
I just There was this girl Ah, yes.
The start of every tragic story.
She works on the ground floor There's something you need to understand about ground floor people.
You see, they came here right out of high school, and they're sitting behind the same desk that they'll be sitting behind for the rest of their lives.
The only way out is to find a meal ticket like you, Mr.
Moyer.
Oh, well, she didn't seem like that kind of I'll give you a signal when I'm done talking, son.
Now I refuse to lose my most promising young money manager to a sea of personal problems.
You go down, tell her it's over.
Be nice, but be clear.
I assume you're grinning like an idiot right now because I said "most promising" earlier? I am.
Stand up.
Please don't celebrate till you've left my balcony.
I can't believe you slept with one of those soulless upstairs guys.
My one-night stand alarm went off, okay? I only let myself do those biannually.
I was in a weird mood.
My mom sold the house I grew up in.
- Where was it? - Everywhere.
Oh.
It's an RV.
Yeah.
It was cool.
Sometimes I used to drive my house to high school.
How about you, Derrick? You hook up at the party? Oh, man, I got me a little Cuban chick.
Slammin' bod.
I mean, she had some fiesta titties, man! Sweet.
What's her name? - I didn't meet nobody.
- Ah! I thought you were gonna try to stop lying all the time.
Yeah, man, I can't stop the first lie.
That's just who I am.
Jenny's making me work on coming clean if somebody asks a follow-up question, though.
So please, no follow-up questions.
So I take it your brother's not getting us playoff tickets? No, dude, he's definitely gonna get the tickets.
- Is he really getting the tickets? - Hell, no, man! Brody! Hi.
Hey.
I didn't even know there were offices down here.
Wow, it's hot.
Oh, yeah, that's 'cause all the building's electrical equipment's back there.
I'm pretty sure none of us can have babies.
Look, I wanted to explain something about the other night.
Don't sweat it, okay? Everybody's got weird sex stuff.
I like eye contact, and you like to yell "Yahtzee!" when you finish.
What? I can't help it.
I say "Yahtzee" when I get turned on.
Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
Whoo! Last night I was out dancin' with my gays till Well, now.
Changing to my work clothes.
Is this the upstairs guy? You look like a tool.
- Be nice.
- Okay.
You look like a tool! All better.
Ooh, that was awesome.
I'm sorry.
I should've said I was in there.
That's my bad.
Whatever, man.
I'm just glad I'm finally at work.
Gotta get some sleep.
Anyway, I just wanted to ta Building support.
Hey.
Come on.
Let's step outside, chat for a second.
- No thanks, man.
- Aw, come on.
I'll give you the scoop on Jenny.
Oh, he liked that.
Hoo! Hey, fellas.
Uh, anybody want a cigar? That's disgusting.
Are you sure? They are falling from the sky.
Oh! Still lit.
That means it's fresh.
Now here is the scoop on Jenny.
Stay away from her.
She loves me.
We're just in that magical time in a relationship before she knows she's in one.
What other imaginary things do you and Jenny do together, huh? You go on long walks by the ocean? Go to one of those build-your-own-yogurt places, and then she puts a cherry on her nose? You bite it off, right? But now you're too cold.
Now you guys go to that coffee hut.
You get your soy latte on, right? Because she can't digest dairy.
And then you say, "I love you, honey.
" And she looks right back at you.
And then what happens? Calm down, Harvard.
How'd you know that I went to Harvard? Uh, he was talking to me, fancy pants.
We call him "Harvard" 'cause he went to college.
A very competitive community college.
It's a 24-month program, and I actually finished it in 22.
Hey.
So what'd you need to talk about? I was actually hoping to do this a little more privately.
"Do this more privately.
" Friday night was great, and you're a really sweet girl, but Do you wear colored contacts? No.
They're so blue.
The hell with it.
We both had a great time.
We should go out again.
Um no, thanks.
But thank you for asking.
Did you seriously just turn me down? Yeah, she did, and we all heard it.
So good-bye! I would never date an upstairs guy.
My boss told me it was like your dream to date a guy like me.
So you and your boss sit around and talk about who we want to date? I told you they don't actually do anything up there.
"Buy! Buy! Sell! Sell! Hey, how's your new horse?" - We don't all have horses, man.
- Prove it.
I don't know how to prove I don't have a horse.
Look, Brody, it's really not about you, okay? It just seems like you upstairs guys are just kind of, um Sad.
- Sad?! What?! - Mm-hmm.
How are we sad? Maybe you're sad 'cause you're so loud.
It just seems like you never have any fun, you know? I mean, we work hard, but down here, it's just It's not as uptight, you know? Like, if a great song comes on We're gonna have a dance break, you know? - Unh! - Brody, do you know? Do you know? You know? Brody, do you know? That's very unpleasant.
Okay.
Yahtzee.
Sorry.
Did you get mad because all the people seemed happy? You're a cute little nerd.
I'm gonna go back to work, okay? - Yeah, why don't you ride your horse back? - Hey, I will kill you! Dance break, man! - You want in on this? - No.
- No? - No.
Threepeat, Threepeat, on the street Threepeat, peat, peat, on the repeat, peat, peat Oh! Oh! Threepeat, Three, Three, Threepeat That's my name.
- Okay.
- Okay! Okay, stop! This is a place of business, man.
Oh, come on, man! Fun Brody up in this beast! - Let's ditch work and get outta here.
- And go where, Mr.
Moyer? Uh, to that room where it's easier to work.
The special workroom.
My office, please.
Ooh.
Automatic door remote.
That's very beast, sir.
Thank you.
You have one hour to come up with a new word.
Understood.
I'm really sorry.
I just See all these words that I've posted around the office? Do you ever wonder why I picked those particular words? Because they're all qualities that you would like us to have? No.
It's because they're all words I use to describe myself.
And I find that Impressive Come.
Sir, that girl downstairs messed with my head.
Talking to her is like drinking Tequila.
One second, you think you're totally in control.
And then the next thing you know, you wake up naked in the yard, and your mom keeps saying that you've ruined Christmas.
This girl's got me questioning my whole life.
You got yourself a life-unraveler, don't you? That's a girl who says things that makes you look at your life in a whole new and mostly negative way.
Yes.
She made me feel like my life is empty, that all I do is work.
I don't know.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe I'm not having any fun.
You think I have fun, Mr.
Moyer? Well, you got drunk at the 4th of July barbeque, and you and your wife had sex in the bouncy castle.
I love America, Mr.
Moyer.
Son, I am crazy rich.
I work three days a week.
I haven't missed my daughter's volleyball game in five years.
And I take my family on vacation whenever I want to.
And do you know why I have all of those things? Because I literally busted my ass until I was 40.
And sure, some of these ground floor people have fun now, but where are they gonna be in ten years? Nowhere.
Struggling to make rent with no future.
And I'm telling you right now, that's not as much fun as a beach house.
Or a horse.
I can't believe I let that girl twist me up.
But no more.
You know what you are, sir? You're a life-raveler.
Yes, I am.
And that's damn sure going up on the wall.
Sir, in regards to finding a replacement word for "beast," what are your thoughts on "fandango?" I like that a great deal.
I would like to let you all know that I will not be coming back here anymore.
I feel like at this point you're down here more than we are.
Hey, sad upstairs dude.
You know what? I am not sad, okay.
You know whose lives are sad? Yours.
You all keep pretending you're happy, and I'm gonna go upstairs and build my future and get my beach house, because apparently they're very fun.
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
Mr.
Wishes-he-had-my-beard thinks he's better than all of us.
I could put a suit on and do your job tomorrow.
I could do it today, but I would need to borrow a suit from my dad first.
Okay, and on that final insane note, I will now say good-bye and good riddance.
What is that look? Why are you giving me that look? I'm just really worried that you're gonna feel bad about the stuff you just said, and I want you to know that I forgive you.
Stop asking her questions, Brody! You talk to yourself a lot.
Ignore her.
Hey.
I know it's Weird, me coming here this late No, Jenny, it's not weird at all.
I can't stop thinking about you either.
I just came 'cause I left my scarf.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on.
Come on in.
Sure, sure, sure.
- Oh, good.
You found it.
- Yeah.
See ya.
Aw, not if I don't see you first, girl.
- What? - What? - Okay.
- Sure.
Yeah, peace! And I said, "the only way I'm flying commercial is if they're shooting a commercial about flying privately.
" This guy gets it.
Hey, who's the new guy? He just started here.
Came over from Goldman.
Let's try to be the best version of ourselves out there today.
All right, fellas? I mean, after all, it's not just money we're playing with.
It's also people's lives.
Wait.
That's a joke.
I didn't realize how cynical you all are.
You're horrible.
You're actually horrible people.
Hey, new guy.
Can I actually talk to you out in the hallway, please? Ohh.
What's the problem, chief? Do you feel Threatened by me? I get it.
It's a lot of pressure having to be the best all the time.
You've got Asian parents.
You know what I'm talking about.
Hey, uh, when were you at Goldman? I was there for two years.
I don't remember you.
You know what? Sorry.
We actually need to talk right now.
Okay.
Guess he wants to show me his horse.
He's right about the pressure, you know.
My parents still make me take violin lessons.
When will I ever be good enough for them? - Ball tap.
- Uhh! They totally bought it.
God, I feel alive.
I think I have an erection.
Yes, I do.
Do you even realize how dumb that was? The second Mansfield came in, your ass would've been fired.
Well, it's not as dumb as kissing a girl who just stands there and doesn't even kiss you back.
Jenny didn't just stand there.
She kissed me back.
Wait.
She kissed me back.
Well, it's gone now.
Hi.
You kissed me back.
What? Your lips moved just as much as mine, and your tongue was everywhere.
My tongue was just hiding from your tongue.
Really? It was hiding in my mouth? That's a bad hiding spot because my tongue found it right away.
Will you just admit that you kissed me back? Of course I kissed you back, Brody.
I'm not rude.
If somebody kisses me, I always kiss back.
Jenny, can I talk to you in the closet for a second? You can't admit it, can you, that we connected? I just wanted my scarf back.
What did you want with a scarf at 11:00 at night? What are you, the scarf police? You know what I think? I think you like me.
I think you like that I'm successful.
I think you like that I'm honest.
But I'm not the guy that you think you're supposed to like, and that's got you all twisted up.
And that's the truth, and we both know it.
Hey.
Um Are you doing anything fun for your birthday tonight? How'd you know it was my birthday? Um, the first night that we got together, I looked through your wallet.
Taking some cash.
I do that.
I couldn't remember your name, so I looked at your license.
"Carol" is a rough middle name, bro.
Well, on your birthday, Mansfield takes you out for steak and scotch.
Cool.
Is that fun? Well, it's kind of mandatory.
It's like going to the dentist once a year.
You go to the dentist.
We get it.
You know, quit bragging.
Well, when was the last time you did something fun for your birthday? Well On my 18th birthday, right before my dad passed away, he took me to this piano bar.
He snuck me in.
He let me have a few beers.
And, uh, he played Elton John songs all night on the piano.
I actually sang one of them, and, uh, everyone joined in.
It was really awesome.
Sounds really awesome.
We go to that dive bar up the street after work.
You should come with us.
- Yeah, come with us.
Have some fun.
- Yeah.
- Come on, man.
- Get on out.
Or don't, you know, if you're busy.
I can't.
Uh, it's not really my choice.
If you change your mind, we leave here at 6:00.
Hey, Brody.
Wait.
That, uh, that thing about your dad - Yeah.
- Um Don't come tonight.
Oh, birthday steaks and scotch tonight.
Who's ready, boys? We're just gonna finish this client brief on interest rate projections And then we will head out, sir.
Going late to his own birthday party.
Ladies and gentlemen, Brody Moyer is back on track.
And do you know why? Life-Raveler You're welcome.
There's, like, three chairs missing from this table.
These chairs are fantastic! It's like you're about to fall, and then you don't.
Like, oh, my God! Oh, I'm fine.
All right, it's 20 after.
That means it's time to go because he's not coming.
I just I wanna wait a little bit longer.
Look, if we wait too long, the bartender who thinks I'm cute and trades me drinks for hugs is gonna be gone, and then the girl bartender's gonna be there.
Okay, fine.
We can go.
What's the big deal about this guy anyways? He's just another soulless, upstairs tool.
No.
He's got a soul, man.
He rescued you.
All those other guys would've let you get fired and then laughed at you.
Well, maybe.
Maybe he has a little bit of soul.
Yo, Derrick, let's go! Tori's already gone.
What really?! Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Who are they singing to? Happy Birthday, dear Brody Happy Birthday to you They don't even know I'm not there.
I'm sorry, man.
Don't be sad.
I'll play it for you later on my violin.
I'll grab some beers.
No, thanks.
I'm good.
You know, if I had a son, he'd probably be just like that.
Excuse me, sir? Nothing.
Nothing.
It's just interesting.
Sometimes a young man can ignore your wishes, and you end up respecting him more.
Mm.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Save a little for next time.
No way! He came! - Ohh! Happy Birthday, Brody! - Hey, Carol! Thank you.
- I knew you would come.
- No, you didn't.
If I didn't know, why did I have them bring the old piano out? You remember? The last time you had fun on your birthday.
Yeah, but that piano's here all the time though, isn't it? Have you ever been here before? - No.
- Then no, it's not.
You're up, Derrick.
Let's go.
- Here'e go.
Oh! Oh! - Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Wait.
Hold on a second.
You can play piano? No.
But, you know, I can do a little somethin' somethin'.
(Playing Elton John's "Your Song") Oh.
That's Elton John, isn't it? - Yes.
- So you should sing.
- No, no.
That's ridiculous.
- Yes! - Come on! Get up there! - You've gotta.
Yes.
No.
Guys, I really don't like being the center of And you can tell everybody This is your song It may be quite simple, but Now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful Life is Now you're in the world He's horrible.
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