Grown-ish (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

1 DRE: Whyyyyy?! My God.
It had only been three days since I left home and my dad was already 5150.
It hurts so bad! What hurts so bad, Dad? My soul! Dad, stop, seriously.
But you don't understand, Zo-Zo.
The world is a dangerous place now! College is totally different than when I was coming up.
Okay, dude, you had Freaknik.
Shake them things, baby Shake them things, baby Shake, shake them things, baby Shake them things, baby Pop, pop Lies! Propaganda! Freaknik never happened! Okay, there are YouTube videos, one of which I'm actually pretty sure you're in.
Unh, unh, get it, get it Unh, unh, get it, get it Okay, it was amazing.
And there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.
But I don't want that for you! Dad, I don't want that for me.
You know, I got to go.
No! No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Um, when you come home this weekend, can we watch "The Breakfast Club" together? Dad, I'm not coming home this weekend.
Aaaah! But that's our favorite! Don't forget about me! That was the song's one rule.
- Bye, Dad.
- [PHONE CLICKS.]
Three days.
Shell of a man.
Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know know, so I'ma feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown I was out of your league ZOEY: I'd been in college for three days, and at that moment, there was no way my dad or anyone couldn't have told me that I didn't already know everything I needed to know to completely master this place the same way I had in high school.
Out of my league I knew it all.
I knew that Ronald J.
Winthrop was our school founder, and that he dabbled in slavery.
I knew that the Cal U basketball team of 1958 would get bodied by the Cal U basketball team today.
I knew that this was the women's bathroom and also the men's bathroom.
I knew this was the campus hot spot this was the campus lame spot and this was the campus dead spot.
Hold on, Mom! Did you say Dad was gay or game? Gay or game? Hello? Damn it, Mom! Hello?! Ugh, hey.
[LAUGHS.]
This reception is Drug boy's steady shooting But the one thing I didn't know about college, that I'd never admit to my dad or anybody else, was that in all actuality, I would soon discover that I didn't know anything.
We're trapped inside the matrix Which was obvious because I was enrolled in a midnight class that no one in their right mind would ever want to be in.
The kids don't stand a chance I said the kids don't The kids don't stand The kids don't stand a chance And I especially didn't know that the same film my dad begged me to watch this weekend, the same film that ignited our father-daughter bond, the film that taught me how to apply lipstick with my boobs, would be way closer to my real life than I ever knew.
Good evening, everyone.
If you're here for the Digital Marketing Strategies class, you've come to the correct place.
If you're here to inquire about the listing for a mixed-breed litter of premature breech terrier puppies [PUPPIES WHINING.]
You've also come to the correct place.
I am Professor Dr.
Charles Telphy.
Okay, freeze.
First of all, he's not a doctor, and the fact that he's a professor totally blows my mind.
I knew Charlie as the weird guy my dad works with.
All we got to do is plant some cocaine in her desk.
I'm pregnant and I hate you! - Okay.
- [SCREAMING.]
Somehow, he's managed to keep his day job while teaching this class.
As adjunct professor for the midnight-to-2:00-AM "after-night-school" program, I welcome you to a unique, new educational frontier.
Most of our jobs don't allow us to go to school during normal hours.
[CHUCKLES.]
Whores.
But the daylight belongs to the meek.
The bold own the night.
And with it, the future.
We're just into tomorrow before anyone else.
[BEEPING.]
Do you hear that? That's tomorrow happening today.
Now, this syllabus right here is gonna break down the entire course starting with week one drones.
Week two, drones from the past.
Week three, drones of the future.
Basically, this will be an all-drones class.
- Why? - 'Cause they arose me.
So, just like "The Breakfast Club," these six losers who I normally never would have even spoken to, would not only become my friends, but some of the closest people to me in my life.
Like Nomi she's my boo.
What the [Bleep.]
are you looking at? But it didn't exactly start off that way.
See, Nomi wasn't your typical Jewish-American princess.
In fact, she wasn't your typical anything.
She liked Rottweilers and moshing at Swedish death-metal concerts.
She was a liberated woman who didn't conform to the boundaries or laws that her family, society, or 49 of the 50 states deemed acceptable.
And then there were these two.
Hey, I'm Jazlyn! She's Skyler.
Are you guys - Twins? - BOTH: Totally.
B.
T.
Dubs, your hair is everything.
Despite their Simi Valley accent, the twins from Tyler Perry's "The Shining" were actually from the hood.
They were also Cal U's hottest track recruits, which meant they were judged about everything, just like the young, Black, female athletes who came before them were scrutinized about their speed, their bodies, even their edges.
But America's darlings were a far cry from this guy, who had a different opinion about America.
This one's "Black Lives Matter," I got "I Can't Breathe," "Michelle 2020," "Justice for Kalief Browder," and "Free Assata Shakur.
" Oh, and what's the bracelet for? Um, that just lets the EMTs know [WHISPERING.]
that I have a peanut allergy.
Aaron and I met during freshman orientation.
He was a super-hot sophomore with a bunch of forearm tattoos who somehow, against all odds, made a ducktail work.
Seriously, that should not work, right? But questionable hair choices aside, he had big plans to change the world.
Um, BSU's protesting the fact that Cal U is changing the blackboards to whiteboards.
Why would they do that? - [SNICKERING.]
- Here we go.
This dude.
Uh, is, uh, something funny, bro? Nah, we get it.
You're, um, "woke.
" Baby Basquiat over here is Luca, the only freshman fly enough to rock the same skirt as me and make me think about changing.
But not everyone was a fan.
Okay, my bad for caring about the culture.
Maybe I should be more like you and spend all my free time ring shopping.
But then when would you have time to look for buttons? Dude, would you keep it down? This isn't the Magic Johnson Theatre.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
But it'd be cool if it were.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
He's a community entrepreneur.
So that dude who was about to get "World Starred" was Vivek, a first-generation Gujarati Indian born to a devoutly Hindu family.
He was a straight-A student and a National Merit Scholar, and he had big dreams of following in the footsteps of his hero.
[CHUCKLES.]
No, not him.
And thank God not him.
Him.
So, I'm pretty sure you're wondering how a girl like me, with perfectly threaded eyebrows and J.
Law-level charm wound up in a midnight class full of puppies and meth addicts.
Well, you weren't the only one.
Uh, apparently some people in the administration are scrutinizing over the legitimacy of this class.
- [DRONE BUZZING.]
- [LAUGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Crazy, right? [LAUGHS.]
So, a survey will be going around.
Per protocol, I have to step out.
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves why you wanted to enroll in this class.
And it would be greatly appreciated if you leave out any mention of breech terrier puppies that may or may not actually be coyotes.
Well, I know why I'm here.
I enjoy taking classes taught by Black professors.
Unfortunately, he's one of them.
But you why why are you here? [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
- Oh, no! - [LAUGHTER.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Uh.
Why am I here? - Yeah.
- Well, psht! Drones.
I love 'em.
[SCOFFS.]
This dude.
Am I right? All the buttons? Sure.
[DRONE BUZZING.]
All right, so I'm not gonna lie, I'm not in this class because I love drones.
Although they are pretty cool.
It's like we gave a bunch of cameras to birds.
But again, not why I'm here, and I'm not about to put my business on blast to these six randos who I'm stuck in drone class with.
Well, I can't put the real reason I'm in here.
My uncle reads this.
You know, Nomi, Cal U is where I met your second aunt.
Was she the one you lost to Hedonism II? Yeah.
The rippin' and the tearin'.
The rippin' and the tearin'.
Nomi's uncle was Bert Parker, the Dean of Students, and despite his eight failed marriages, he seemed oddly more preoccupied with Nomi finding the right guy than her finding the right class.
Perhaps you'll find love here, too.
Mm, hot tip, most of the young, eligible Jewish guys - Yeah? - hang out right over there.
We call that area "Little Boca.
" But unbeknownst to anyone in her family Nomi and her newfound sexual freedom had other things in mind.
You know, I really have to go to the bathroom.
I had, like, some questionable sushi.
- Oh.
- I'll be back.
Okay.
- [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- Oh! So, I should just, uh, put "drones," right? - Yeah, definitely, definitely.
- Okay.
- Just a drone situation.
- Yeah.
I think I might be a "drone" guy, too.
Yes, Mummi, I've signed up for the statistics club.
Thank Auntie Beena for the Ganesh statue.
It got here in one piece.
And tell Puppa-Ji I'll call him tonight to go over my classes, and before you ask, they're all S.
T.
E.
M.
no arts, no humanities, no physical activities.
Yo, Vivek! Mom, let me call you back.
I just saw some of my engineering friends.
Those were not his engineering friends.
I got Molly, I got Oxy, I got Roxy.
I got Xanies, I got Percs, I got Addies.
And this This is a really strong decongestant.
So, Vivek grew up poor.
His parents wanted him to be an engineer, and he did too, but he wasn't willing to wait eight years to ball out.
BOTH: A drug dealer? Hey, I'm not a drug dealer.
I just get pills at a lesser price from a guy and sell them at a markup.
I mean, it's not like I'm gonna shoot you or anything.
[CHUCKLES.]
Unless you don't pay, then my boy Lil' Puppet will definitely do it.
Oh, my God, I'm totally a drug dealer.
Yeah.
Lil' Puppet? Oh, well.
So I'm assuming you guys are putting "drones" too? - Uh - Um You know those picture-perfect Sports Illustrated cover girls? Hello, girls.
BOTH: Hey, Dean Parker.
Well, don't judge a magazine by the cover.
What is your bum-ass problem, girl? Make up your damn mind, already.
Excuse me? Which class can I take without you in it? Anything at UCLA.
Bye, bitch.
Ugh! Yep, under those smiles, that's who they really were.
But as their father always drilled into them, no one wants two ratchet-ass girls on the front of a cereal box.
Kind of disagree with your pops.
That might actually bring Wheaties back.
Whatever, dude.
Are you putting down "drones" or not? Nah, I'm just gonna put down that I don't really care.
Wow, so you still smoke cigarettes? So you, like, really don't care? I don't.
So, are you gonna tell us what's behind your drone story or what? These six weirdos just bared their soul and everyone seems cool with their truth.
So, why can't I? All right, guys, so I got to be honest.
I don't love drones.
I mean, I do, it's how we caught Bin Laden, but not why I'm here.
Okay, so this is what happened.
It was the day before registration, and I was at the coffee shop Who got the venti black iced tea, extra water, extra ice, 12 pumps classic sweetener? - Oh, right here.
- That's me.
Analisa Patricia Torres was born in Miami to Cuban immigrants.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
She was a devout Catholic and an even more devout Republican with a secret shame.
So, Ana and I hit it off immediately.
We had a ton in common.
I mean, we're both freshman, she loved my hair, I love that she loved my hair.
How could you not? And everything just got better from there.
Some older girls I knew from high school invited me to a party.
I brought Ana with me because she was my first college friend.
This is, like, a real party.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I'm nervous.
No.
No, don't worry.
I got you, Ana.
Just be cool.
Okay, you're right.
Just be cool, Analisa.
Oh, my God, I'm so excited I think I got to poop.
- Oh.
- Hey, Zoey.
ZOEY: Hi! Who wants Cîroc gummies? And the next thing you know, me and Ana were at our first college day party.
Brought out the pink Lamborghini Just to race with Chyna Brought the wraith to China just to race in China Lil' woman - Cut the check - Cut the check Buss it down Throw the goofy down pound I'ma do splits on it, yes, splits on it - I'm a bad - The party was amazing.
I mean, I was trying to get Ana to slow her roll, and she wasn't having it, but things between us were going great.
[RETCHING.]
[CROWD GASPS.]
Until they weren't.
- Oh, no! - [LAUGHTER.]
- Dude.
- That's messed up.
[LAUGHTER.]
- [GAGGING.]
- This situation just got whack.
We should hit up another party.
[GASPING.]
Zoey! You coming, Zoey? [GASPING.]
Where are you going? [LAUGHTER.]
[GAGGING.]
Hoo! So there it is.
The truth.
This kind of felt good.
It's a relief to say it out loud, you know? Get it off your chest.
Hey, let's go get some freakin' French toast.
Get it? It's like a reference to Yeah? Dude, you are a monster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[MURMURING.]
Should've just put down "drones.
" Aaron was right.
I was a monster.
I'd bailed on another girl when she needed me most.
I was a terrible person.
Hey, listen.
Don't worry about it, okay? I mean, haven't we all done something like that before? You have? Who, me? Oh, no.
God, no.
I mean, not like that.
That was some East African genocidal warlord shit.
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
Wait, I could've sworn you were trying to make her feel better.
Yeah, that's where I thought things were heading.
But I don't deserve to feel better because I should've helped Ana.
Yeah, but you didn't.
Why? Well, because I was a freshman at an upperclassmen party, and there were hot guys everywhere, and You know, I-I just wondered what what people would think of me.
Yeah, I get that, but why? What do you mean, "Why?" Because people's opinions matter.
- Yeah, but why? - Well, I mean, bec These don't feel like questions any logical human has to answer.
Caring what people think is me and Jazz's whole life.
It's why we live this fake-ass front.
Yeah.
If we don't make it, we end up back in the hood, jerking off some guy who sells incense and tube socks behind the donut shop.
- Like - Whoa.
Okay.
I totally feel like you guys just skipped over multiple steps on your spiral down.
- Yeah.
- If we go back home, we're not just failures to ourselves.
We've let everybody down.
We're losers.
Total disappointments.
I mean, there's jobs at the post office.
The DMV, personal trainer, those sign-turning guys.
I just feel like there's a couple other options before, you know, the donut-shop situation.
I totally get not wanting to be a disappointment.
Why do you guys think I haven't come out to my family yet? I mean, like, would they still love me? Sure.
But would they look at me differently? I don't know, and I don't want to know.
I just I want to be their daughter, not their bisexual daughter.
You got to live your life out loud or else you'll end up like my dad.
Your dad's a closeted bisexual? Worse, he's a bum.
Ah, that's messed up.
My guy, when's the last time you've seen him? I don't know, in person? Last week when he dropped me off.
We Skyped this morning about our Catalina trip.
Wait, you Skyped? Oh, my God, is he one of those homeless dudes with a cellphone? That drives me crazy.
- Me too.
- W-What? No.
W-Well, then what is it, bro? Is he a he's an alcoholic, he's on drugs, what's up? He's a [Bleep.]
cab driver.
A cab driver who beats your mom? No, he worships my mom.
Okay, so, like, in Hindi, does "bum" mean, like, a present and supportive father? - Mm.
That's got to be what it is.
- Yeah.
Totally.
He's a bum because he never tried.
He's a smart guy, but he's been driving that stupid cab for 35 years.
Dude's got no ambition.
You mean, other than fleeing a third-world country? Developing a high-level understanding of English? BOTH: Loving his wife? And putting his son through college? Dude's a bum.
I'm a bad person.
- Huh? - She said she was a bad person.
Yeah, I heard what she said.
Thank you.
I want to know why she said it.
Probably 'cause she thinks she's not a good person.
I don't remember talking to you, bro.
Why don't you just shut the How about you - Hey, you guys.
- You're always talking.
- You guys.
- Flat-top head.
- [CRYING, SNIFFLING.]
- No, 'cause he's always doing that.
- Chill out.
- No, he's a Hey.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
You all right? I don't know why, but at that moment, something came over me.
Maybe it was hearing Vivek talk about his dad, or Nomi being honest about her sexuality, or maybe it was just because I'd done such a shitty thing to Ana, but I felt compelled to keep opening up.
I realized that the first time I was out on my own, the first chance to make my own decision, I made the wrong one, and I had done it so easily.
What did that say about me? Was that the person I really was? The thought of that scared me, but I wasn't alone in my feeling.
We were all scared.
We are, we are, we are One by one, I looked around and saw a group of strangers with nothing in common look at each other and see their truest selves reflected in the eyes of people they would soon call family.
The kids are In fact, the more we cried, the more we realized exactly why we all had stumbled into this crazy class, and it wasn't drones.
Do it while you're young Don't let them tell you no Don't let them Dear Professor Dr.
Telphy, you asked us to write down why we're taking this class, and the honest truth is we're scared.
Scared that maybe we're a person we wouldn't like very much if we met.
Scared we're people who are gonna let our communities down.
Scared we're people our parents might think different of if they really knew.
Scared of becoming our parents, and in some of our cases, scared of losing one of our 17 thumb rings.
Yeah, the kids are all right That was a moment that bonded us forever.
It was a moment we never talked about again.
It was a moment that was ours.
Yeah, the kids are all right The next night, I was feeling more confident that although I would still make mistakes, I was determined to make better choices and be a better person overall.
Hey, Tara, what's up with the box? Oh.
A new single just opened up over at Cardinal Towers.
I'm out of here.
So you're moving out? Yep.
I like to study naked.
It's probably better for both of us.
But don't worry, they already assigned you a new roommate.
She's in there unpacking.
She seems cool.
Okay.
Ohh.