Harlem (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
1
[lively percussive music]
♪
[Camille] High above
the Himalayan Mountains,
there is a tribe of people
called the Mosuo,
living in what has been
named the Kingdom of Women.
Here the women are openly
stronger than the men
and entirely in charge.
They practice
walking marriage.
The women choose who
they want to be married to.
And when things
get old or stale,
they simply decide boom,
they're not married anymore,
and they move on
to another husband.
And another. And another.
And the guy has no say.
The woman's
pleasure and convenience
is all that matters.
She's in control,
and it's easy,
fast, and painless.
[laughs] Must be nice.
Here, now,
in 21st-century Harlem,
being a woman in total control
of her life and love
is not always easy.
One theory on why the Mosuo
not only survive, but thrive,
is that they are a tribe
of unbreakable sisters.
And luckily,
I've got one of those too.
[singer] Throw some shade
if you look good ♪
Wave ya hand
if you look good ♪
Uh-huh yo yo ♪
Now tell them bitches
anyway ♪
'Cause we don't care ♪
What none of them
gal affi say ♪
You can't stop me
I'ma fulfil a prophecy ♪♪
[Camille] We have always had
to go faster, further, better
just to be seen
as barely keeping up.
But how do we do that in love,
especially now,
when in Harlem,
change is everywhere you look?
[singer] Your hands
in the air ♪
[Camille] And it can become
increasingly hard
to hang on to who you are
when you barely recognize
where you are.
[singer] Yes I am humble ♪
Yes but why lie ♪
I am the reason why ♪
These girls go bye bye ♪
Wave ya hand
if you look good ♪
Throw some shade
if you look good ♪♪
[Camille] At some point, you
just begrudgingly accept
things just don't look the way
you thought they would.
And that comes to dating too.
Because the number of
actual dateable men is bleak.
In Harlem,
educated Black women
are forced to navigate
a playing field in which
men have significantly
more dating options.
So it's not that we're
desperate or thirsty.
We're literally dealing with
a real life man deficit,
which leaves us
with two options.
We reassess our deal breakers
and widen the pool
or we hold firm
to our wish list
and, like the Mosuo,
refuse to settle,
despite the numbers.
And we focus
okay, well,
maybe overly focus
okay, okay, obsess
on trying to control
the one thing that we can:
ourselves.
So yes,
I'm here to say
we are not Mosuo.
But this week,
what if we were?
I want you to try to live
like Mosuo.
Women, be the boss.
Demand change when you want it.
Stop apologizing so damn much.
Men, do what the women say
without question.
I want us to get out
of those comfort zones.
And give me 500 words
on what that was like.
Class dismissed.
That was amazing.
Professor,
I have something for you.
[heartbeat echoing]
Thank you, Malik, again.
You're welcome.
And by the way,
if you wanna help me
with the assignment,
I would be happy
to get out of my comfort zone
and eagerly do
whatever you say.
Malik, it's against
Columbia's rules,
and frankly, my moral code,
for me to date a student.
[Malik] Mm.
Goodbye, Malik.
Kansas State is offering me
full-time professor
with tenure.
And you wanna move to Kansas?
No, no.
Of course, no, I don't want to.
But I'm not gonna lie, Robin,
the offer's nice.
It better be.
It's in Kansas.
No.
I'm sure the offer
is tempting, Camille,
but these things
are like dating.
You can't just jump
on the first sexy thing
that comes your way
just because he's nice.
I know.
Columbia is what I want.
Columbia is my soulmate,
but the bitch won't commit.
Sorry.
I just need to know
that I'm not gonna wind up
being Columbia's
oldest adjunct professor.
I didn't work with you
all these years
to let that happen.
I was waiting to surprise you.
As soon as the budget's in,
I'm gonna move the money
to have you
join the department full-time.
I promise.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
[bagel crunches]
Why did you let me do that?
I gotta hide it somewhere.
That's
that's what it's come to.
[Camille] From the moment
we all graduated,
all I wanted was to become
a full-time professor.
Now it's happening.
[Quinn] Oh, a promotion
and a proposition.
Bitch, tell me
you fucked that nigga
right there on the desk.
Of course not.
Why does all the hot shit
get wasted on everyone but me?
She's his teacher, Angie.
And it's a "MeToo"
waiting to happen.
No, fuck that.
A good dick
is a terrible thing to waste.
- Hey, sorry.
- Hey, girl.
Late to her own party.
Camille is no fun.
There, you are all caught up.
Jesus, I need a drink.
Ooh, wait, that was there
before we sat down.
[Quinn] So how did it go?
Are you officially
a millionaire?
Well, we were meeting
in my office
and I said
Wow.
$750,000.
Mr. Van Horn.
Please, Tye, it's Rick.
Okay, great Rick.
[Rick] That is a lot of money.
So what do you think?
You're ready to sell Q
and take your seat
at the big kids' table, Tye?
What do I think?
I think
only a fucking idiot
would agree
to that kind of valuation.
And of the two of us,
I'd say I'm not the one
who looks like a fucking idiot.
Nice suit, by the way.
Give 1987 my regards.
Q is the only online dating app
worth the shit
that's reaching the fastest
growing market there is:
queer people of color.
So do I wanna join your seat
at the big kids' table?
I'm a grown-ass woman.
And I'm of two minds:
no,
and fucking hell no.
But thanks
for dropping by, Rick.
You're sure you wanna
I mean
surely you can weigh in here.
My assistant?
You want my assistant
to weigh in on my decision?
He's your really?
Yeah.
Really.
Oh, and by the way, Rick,
the name isn't Tye, it's
Your Highness.
Yes, yes!
- Come on, Tye.
- Yes, queen.
Ms. Jackson, if you nasty.
If you nasty.
- See, you could be part Mosuo.
- Part what?
[Angie] Way to bring it down
with an Annalise Keating
teaching moment.
It is only a tribe of women
who call their own shots.
That is me.
Bitch, that's us.
Ooh!
[camera clicking]
[Angie laughs]
Are we supposed to pretend
that didn't just happen?
New lady.
She's into sexting.
Ooh, be careful.
That Internet shit is forever.
You would not believe
the things
that guys have posted of me.
I would sorta believe.
So this new lady,
she's a model?
Instagram influencer?
Model/Instagram influencer?
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Well, you do have a type.
We will take the 1988 bottle
of Sauvignon Blanc.
Ooh.
I'll take one of those too.
With a straw.
I'm bored.
Better off or on?
Off or on?
Okay, okay.
Every woman has value.
And you pay it
in cash or PayPal.
[laughter]
Whatever.
Tye, we get it.
You like simple
so you can be in charge.
That's not true.
- Is it?
- Bitch, please.
- Yeah, definitely.
- Completely.
Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
That wasn't ours either.
Then who ordered drinks?
So now I'm thinking
that we do
my new wrap dress in this.
Ugh, I love it.
It will elevate the dress
to a higher price point.
[Kim] Yeah, and listen,
with the extra money,
- extra profit.
- Extra meals.
So instead of the usual
"Buy a dress,
serve four people,"
when you buy this dress,
we can donate ten meals
Real ass bitch
give a fuck about a nigga ♪
To all of the new
Big Birkin bag
hold five six figures ♪
I'm so sorry, Kim.
Just give me one second.
My neighbor is having
a bit of an issue.
Fuckin' on a scammin' ass ♪
- Angie.
- Rich ass nigga ♪♪
Hey hey hey.
Angie, I'm on a work call.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
- It's fine.
I just have to get
this new dress launched.
- It won't be long.
- Girl, I don't get you.
If I had your money,
ooh, I would not work.
Well, you don't work now,
so that tracks.
Speaking of,
what happened with
the Sheraton interview?
Oh, girl.
No, yeah, I couldn't.
I'm not really about that
"hotel lounge singer" life.
It feel more "last stop"
than "comeback," you feel me?
Okay, but it paid money,
which you will need
if you wanna move out
and get your own place someday.
Girl, you would be lonely
without me here.
Besides, if Gayle ever
got her own money,
do you think Oprah
would be her bestie?
One, Gayle has several jobs.
And two, I promise
we will still be besties
even if you do get a job.
I just wanna help
in a way that actually helps.
You living here was supposed
to support you for singing.
But you stopped doing that.
So who are you if you're just
sitting around
on a couch all day
talking about singing
but not actually
ever really doing it?
LaToya?
- Oh.
- [chuckles]
Girl, I'm still the same Angie
that you know and love.
You ain't gotta worry about me
changing up on you.
- We are girls for life.
- And that's fine.
I just wanna make sure
we're not roommates for life.
I ain't mad
at the Golden Girls.
And since we are giving out
professional advice,
here's two cents for
your collection plate.
Don't leave business calls
on hold
to go and harass your roommate.
Oh, shit. Kim?
Kim!
It's easy for her to say.
Everything is easy for Quinn.
Not true.
I just know
whatever I do next,
it has to be good.
I mean, I had the record deal,
nothing happened,
and then they dropped me.
By the way, vegan ice cream
is some nasty bullshit.
I actually like it.
- Angie!
- It's nasty.
Listen, it was one deal
four years ago.
Move on, start again.
You're too good not to.
When we were at NYU,
that line used to be
around the block
to hear you sing.
Girl, yeah, and you hit 30,
and "used to" starts sounding
like a has-been bitch
who never made it.
Stop it, no.
No.
Oh, no. Oh, my God, duck.
What the fuck?
Right there at
the end of the corner.
My dude, what's up?
- Is that
- Holy shit.
Ian.
[UMI: "Down to Earth"]
Can't get no sleep ♪
The moon it knows I ♪
Don't want you to leave ♪
Take care of yourself.
[crying softly]
Just to be with you I try ♪
To be free with you ♪
I'd fall back down
to Earth ♪
And the brother got a beard?
Still fine.
Shit, I'd like to leave
some love crumbs in that.
Angie.
Sorry, inside thought.
[Camille] He knows
this is my block.
It should be a rule:
exes cannot walk
on each other's blocks.
Sweetie,
that would leave me a very,
very small patch of the Bronx.
Oh, my God.
If he's visiting his mom
that means
he's coming this way.
Quick, before he sees us.
[Angie] Oh, girl,
new shoes, new shoes,
new shoes, new shoes.
Slow down. I don't run!
All right,
I'm on my way right now.
God, I always knew
he would come back to you.
Girl, you watch
way too much Hallmark.
Only at Christmas.
It was just weird.
Jarring, you know?
I mean, since he ran away
to become a chef,
I honestly haven't really
thought much about him.
Girl, who the hell
are you kidding?
Shh.
It is a commercial
about coconut water.
Turn your ass around.
He looked good, too,
and not just, like, Ian good
but, like,
my next orgasm good.
I'm not sure
how to take that.
He probably got him
a nice little French Fry
he keeping it tight for.
No, she Black.
Camille 2.0. Am I right?
How would I I don't know.
And even if Ian
does have a girlfriend,
which to be clear,
I don't care if he does,
what does her race
have to do with anything?
Kind of everything.
If she's Black, be cool.
You don't want that bad karma.
But if she's white?
Fair game, bitch.
Stealing a Black man
from a white woman
is not an act of treason.
It's an act of bravery.
[Camille] Well, whatever.
How would I know
if Ian has a girl?
Okay, fine.
Yes, I cyberstalked his ass
and I got nothing.
How is he still not on
any social media?
Be careful, Camille.
Of what?
I am the one who chose this.
I am the one who ended things.
It's what I wanted.
Yet you haven't
had a date since.
You know what? It's
can we just change the subject?
I'm taking
the last cheese stick.
You ate the first one
and the second one
and every other one,
so why stop now?
- Did you want?
- Nasty.
And it's not like
he told me that he was,
you know, back from
out of town or anything.
So he obviously moved on too.
Is this the
"change the subject" part?
And it's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine because I'm Mosuo.
Mm-hmm.
I was with him,
and I chose to move on.
Yass. You know what?
Switch it up.
That's what I'm doing.
I thought about what
you said the other day
about the kind of women
that I'm with.
So I decided to ask out Shayla.
Shayla?
That sounds like
a stripper name.
Like a daytime stripper name.
Mm, like good morning,
gentlemen,
enjoy your waffles as you
welcome to the pole,
all: Shayla!
Okay. Forget all y'all.
Shayla is an investment banker.
And she is very smart
and very stud.
I'm impressed.
- Ooh.
- Here we go.
- Madea in 3D, y'all.
- Yes!
Hello!
[singer] I keep it
juicy juicy ♪
I eat that lunch ♪
She keep that booty booty
she keep that plump ♪
Yeah yeah ♪
That natural beauty beauty
yeah yeah ♪
If you could see it
from the front ♪
Wait till
you see it from the ♪
Back back back
back back ♪
Back back yeah
back back back ♪♪
[music stops]
Hey, Malik.
I dropped your class.
Effective immediately.
I guess you really hated it.
No, I loved it.
But you can't date a student.
Problem solved.
[man over intercom]
Attention, Columbia students.
Reminder: do not use
the faculty lounge.
Malik, hoping for a date
seems like an odd reason
to adjust
your academic schedule.
And yet,
I am going to pick up
your phone,
put my number in.
Be in control.
Call me if you want.
And I think you should want.
[Angie] You are insane.
How did you not take him
in the locker room right there?
Yeah, technically
I am free
to date him now,
but he's too young.
I'm not having sex
in the locker room.
Don't knock it.
- Hello.
- Okay?
[hostess] Your table's ready.
Right this way.
So they just gonna walk
on in here and get a table?
Yeah, what the fuck
was that?
That was the moment
this place started
gentrifying on the inside.
Girl, the Whole Foods
on 125th was the final nail.
- Miss. Hi.
- Hi.
We're here all the time
and we've never
had to wait this long.
Next table's yours.
Any minute now.
Pick one, sweetie.
Which minute? Fifth? Tenth?
Soon.
Noel's, how may I help you?
Oh, you pretending
to answer the phone?
I know that move.
That's my move.
Okay, inside voice,
inside voice.
Ooh.
We might have to go
somewhere else.
I got another date
with Shayla later.
Maybe dating a boss
is my speed.
Ooh, so the first date
went well?
Spectacular might be the word.
- Spectacular?
- What?
Uh-huh, she picked the place,
she picked the wine,
and for the first time
in my adult life,
I did not pay.
What?
Well, I have a date too.
Oh, come on, do you guys
not wanna hear about
my latest Tinder-roni?
Is it the dude
with the doll collection?
Collectible action figures.
Or that Bajan nigga
who stole your flat screen?
Unproven.
[Tye] He stole that shit.
I literally caught
him walking out with it.
Well, you know,
look on the bright side.
He can take you on a date now,
'cause I'm pretty sure
- he pawned it.
- [laughs]
Okay, you know what?
Forget it.
- Forget it.
- Okay, who-who is it?
Thank you for asking,
Camille.
- His name is Cory. 32.
- Mm.
And a lawyer.
A working lawyer.
- Mm.
- At a real firm.
I checked this time.
And here is the kicker.
He lives on Long Island.
Uh, that's far.
Are we really
commuting for cock?
[Tye] Mm-mm.
Ladies,
we're ready for you now.
Sure, she hears
the word "cock"
and she comes running.
- [laughter]
- I come running for it.
[shrieks]
Quinn! I thought about
what you said.
I got a job. I'm singing.
Oh, my God. That's amazing.
- The Sheraton?
- Girl, give that a rest, no.
It's an open mic night
tomorrow.
Oh.
"Oh"?
I'm singing for the first time
in, like, a year, and "oh"?
That better not be
the end of that sentence.
That shit better be a fragment.
No, no, I'm happy.
I'm super happy.
It's just not a, you know,
job-job.
Oh, okay, thanks
for clearing that up.
It's industry night
so it could really
lead to something.
Why the hell are you dressing
like a TJ Maxx Olivia Pope?
Hey, it's my design,
and I didn't mean
I'm not excited for you.
[Angie] It's fine, whatever.
You know, have a good train
ride to the Island of Long.
- Or is it a flight out there?
- Ha-ha.
Why are you going
all the way to Long Island?
Make his ass come to you.
He has to work until 10:00.
So it's easier
for me to go to him.
Oh, so it's not
a date-date.
Yes, it is.
It is most definitely
a date-date, okay?
It is a date-date-date.
There's no such thing
as an 11:00 date.
Dates start at 7:00 or 8:00,
maybe 9:00.
But 11:00 is fuck o'clock.
Don't shit on my night
just 'cause I said
that thing about the open mic.
I just don't get how that's
better than getting paid.
Singing for a bunch
of drunk tourists
from wherever-the-fuck
at a Times Square Sheraton
is not going
to lead to anything.
I need more. I deserve more.
This is for people who could
really offer me something.
And I have to think long-term.
I don't have a trust fund
and parents supporting
my every move.
No, you just use me for that.
Use?
You think I use you?
I don't know, Angela.
But enjoy my rent-free couch.
Fuck that.
And fuck that wack-ass outfit
and this stiff shitty couch.
You can find another
charity case
to make you feel less guilty
about your bougie bullshit.
My train doesn't leave
for another
two-and-a-half more hours
but do not talk to me.
[singer] You know
that I know ♪
We overdose ♪
They say we're too close ♪
We do but don't ♪
I know we ain't ghosts ♪
We just fucked hey yeah ♪
I know you know ♪
You know that I know ♪
We overdose ♪
They say we're too close ♪
We do but don't ♪
I know we're not ghosts ♪
We just fucked hey yeah ♪♪
♪
Can I confess something?
I don't usually date
other masc women.
Me neither.
You were a dare.
You were an experiment.
So is your experiment working?
You trying to find out?
[upbeat music]
[singer] Shake your body ♪
Every day is a party
every day is a party ♪
Every day is a party
shake your body ♪♪
Uh, is loud music
a Long Island thing?
Yeah, maybe.
- I I don't know.
- What
Hey, can I get
a Jack and Coke?
What about your firm?
Is there a lot of
upward mobility there?
- Sure.
- It's funny because
my father is actually
oh, my God! Shit.
Do you see what you just did?
This is wool crepe.
Wool crepe!
I'm I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, um
um, I'm gonna
go to the ladies' room.
I'll be right back.
Actually, would you mind
watching my purse for me?
Oh, for sure.
I will be right back.
I'm sitting there!
[hand dryer blowing]
Ooh, yeah.
Yeah, honey,
you fuck that dryer.
[retching]
Elegance of Long Island
is endless.
[woman] Ugh, I'm never gonna
drink again.
[hand dryer blowing]
♪
Um, I'm sorry,
have you seen my date
that was sitting right here?
- Blue suit.
- Yeah.
He said you'd settle up.
I'm sorry, what?
- He left?
- Yeah.
He left?
He left.
Oh, my God, my purse.
Oh, my God, excuse me, sir.
Get up, get up.
He took my purse!
Motherfucker!
Oh, motherfucking fuck,
fuck, fuck.
Hi, oh, my gosh.
I'm sorry, can I
could I use your phone?
God damn it.
Um, I'm so sorry.
- Hi, hi.
- Whoa, you all right?
Oh, my God.
I am having the worst night
of my life.
I was just wondering,
I'm trying to get on the
next train back to Manhattan.
Is there any way you can
find it in your heart
to give me $10?
I get what's happening here.
I say no, then you offer
your "services"
so you can go buy some crack?
I don't want crack, sir.
I just wanna
get on the next train.
Well, you must be smoking
'cause the next train
ain't coming until 5:00 a.m.
Wait. What?
5:00?
[train whistles]
Shit!
Oh, my God!
[upbeat music]
I've been waiting
for this moment
since you asked me out.
Me too.
Oh, yeah, put your face
all up in it.
Ah, ah, get out.
Too much, too much, too much,
too much, hold on.
- Like you running a feather.
- I got it.
Uh-uh, I said a feather.
- Lighter, lighter, lighter.
- Okay.
Yeah, yeah, stay like that.
Mm, stay like that.
Ooh, stay exactly like that.
Don't move.
Ooh, no matter what,
do not move.
Yes, oh, I'm coming.
Oh, I'm coming.
Oh, oh, oh, fuck.
Ah, shit.
Well
- that was amazing.
- [chuckles]
I gotta shower.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What, wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry.
I told you I got
a conference call in Tokyo.
Look. It was fun.
- [kisses]
- [scoffs]
Bitch, I just dislocated my jaw
and you gonna
leave me like that?
[Fousheé: "single af"]
♪
I tested my patience ♪
Confronted my fears
I finally faced them ♪
Now I can say I'm ♪
I'm good on my own ♪
I put in the wayment yeah ♪
Making a change
ain't comfortable but ♪
It's definitely something
I've done before ♪
- Finally ready to go out ♪
- [clears throat]
Never felt so sexy
feel bad for my exes ♪♪
[Camille] "Professor Parks,
the truth is
we can never be Mosuo"
misspelled
"because we as women
paralyze ourselves
"worrying about
the consequences
if we did own our own power."
[sighs]
It's such
a beautiful thing ♪
I can proudly say I'm ♪
I'm say that
I'm single as fuck ♪
Single as fuck ♪
Ooh ooh single as fuck ♪
Single as fuck ♪
Ooh ooh ♪
- I'm single ♪
- Single ♪
Ready to mingle ♪
Tryna prepare
for the trouble ♪
I'm 'bout to get into ♪
Pardon the interlude ♪
But let me
introduce you to ♪♪
[Camille] Fuck it, I'm Mosuo.
- I'm glad you called.
- Right, sure.
Okay, wait.
I just wanna lay
some ground rules
so that you don't have
an unrealistic expectation
- of what this is.
- Of course.
I am just honoring
my Mosuo sisters.
And I mean, because I'm not
pressuring you into this,
right?
Nah, we good.
[Camille] Okay.
Because I don't wanna get
"Me Too'd" or "He Too'd."
I still can't believe
I called you.
I'm not sure
that I should have.
I think maybe you should go.
You sure?
Holy shit.
And right then,
when it seemed like
the choice I made
was exactly what I needed
Okay, Professor.
[Camille] That I was Mosuo,
taking what I wanted.
Take charge.
[Camille] He wanted
something else,
and the worst thing ever
was staring me
right in the face.
[stammers]
[singer] Throw it back
if you nasty ♪
Bounce it
like it's elastic ♪
Go 'head
break it down real low ♪♪
Yeah, I I I gotta go.
[singer] Go 'head
break it down real low ♪
Stop playin' with it ♪♪
No, you know what? Um
you gotta go.
[woman on TV] We would
watch them with our dad.
They'd stay up late
on Friday nights
[phone buzzing]
Postmates,
where the fuck is my pasta?
[Quinn] No, it's me.
- Quinn.
[Quinn] This nice lady
is letting me use her phone.
What do you want?
I'm packing.
[singer] Just so good
at being in trouble ♪
Spending my days
out in the ghetto ♪
Mama say that
I need to be careful ♪♪
I know.
I know.
Okay, please don't, Angie.
I'm so humiliated.
Girl, don't be.
You keep
putting yourself out there.
That takes way more strength
than just sitting at home
and
fucking strangers
on a friend's couch.
That's a hypothetical, right?
Sure.
I can't believe you stayed
out here all night long.
Yup.
Not so bougie after all.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said
that stuff.
And I didn't mean any of it,
Quinnie.
I know.
And I should just be happy
that you got a gig
and that I get
to hear you sing.
Thank you.
And Gayle,
as long as I have money,
you'll have a place to live.
Good.
'Cause Tye said
I couldn't stay with her.
[laughs]
And Camille's shit
is too small.
[chuckles] I know it is.
Come on.
[Quinn] Ugh, girl.
- And fuck Long Island.
- [laughs]
Is-is that my new coat
from Bergdorf?
In case you were cold.
I was thinking of you.
I don't
I don't think you were.
And are those my
- girl, give me my shades.
- Listen.
[guitar strumming]
Yo.
That young nigga wanted you
to lick his ass?
It's like one second
I'm thinking,
"You know, he's not that young.
This is okay."
The next I'm looking down
the barrel of a bootyhole.
Oh, no.
What's the big deal?
Dick, balls, ass,
it's all the same neighborhood.
Yo, you lick ass?
Why not?
I mean, even with
a freakishly long taint,
you're still dick adjacent.
No.
Husbands do not ask
their future wives
to lick their booties.
That is my favorite
Bible verse.
[laughter]
I know it was a mistake,
but I thought it might
help get Ian out of my head.
Like a sexual palate cleanser.
All right, I'm gonna need
another cocktail
if I'm gonna finish
this conversation.
Yes, just hurry,
'cause she's singing next.
Oh, and get me one too.
And tell him less ice.
Hey, okay, bossy.
[Camille] And in the end, yes,
here in 21st-century Harlem,
we sisters
can be fierce Mosuo.
Be in charge, call the shots,
get what we want.
When the feeling
comes over me ♪
I remember
what it feels like ♪
[Camille] But what if
what we want is to go back?
[Angie]
I said never again ♪
[Camille] When Mosuo think
they've made a mistake,
is it better to try again?
[Angie] I remember
what you feel like ♪
[Camille] Or to look ahead?
[Angie] It was real right ♪
I said never again
but I still might ♪
♪
No attachments ♪
I'm better ♪
Done healing ♪
We ain't together ♪
Except for tonight
maybe one last time ♪
We can ♪
When the feeling
comes over me ♪
I remember
what it feels like ♪
It was real right ♪
I said never again ♪
When the feeling
comes over me ♪
I remember
what you feel like ♪
Mm it was real right ♪
I said never again
but I still might ♪
Drowning in wine
just talking with my girls ♪♪
[funky music]
Oh, my God. Dr. Pruitt?
I've read all three
of your books.
If you need anything,
I'm your girl,
'cause I've given up dating,
and I really wanna
hone on in my career goals.
Can I call you back?
[man] That's fine, Dr. Pruitt.
- I'll talk to you later.
- Sorry!
♪
This is not
how I pictured my life.
Hi, Ian!
Ian, right?
Hi, Ian.
Oh, Ian, what's up?
Hey!
[Angie] My producer,
he wants me
to come to their offices
tomorrow.
So what we doing?
It's Get Out the musical.
[all] We're
in the same damn place ♪
♪
What a casually dressed
surprise.
- Quinn?
- Oh, that's right.
You two know each other.
Only from the entire year
that we dated, Mom.
My Forbes interview
has turned into
a two-page spread.
I knew it!
Your dream is coming true!
It's like the great Lady Gaga
once said,
"You can get 99 no's"
I'ma stop you right there.
both: Thank you.
♪
- And he's here.
- We should leave.
- Go in.
- Go in?
We'll just go in.
No, no, no, no, no.
- We should leave. Leave.
- We should leave.
[Angie] Swearing you'll
never be back in my world ♪
I know I'm lying
'cause when I see you 1
I wanna do the things
that we used to do ♪
You got me jonesing
I'm all in my feels ♪
They're taking over
it's getting that real ♪
If I let you win
you bow out your way ♪
You keep my heart
so be careful okay? ♪
Ooh ooh ♪
Ooh ♪
Ooh I just might
I just might ♪♪
[lively percussive music]
♪
[Camille] High above
the Himalayan Mountains,
there is a tribe of people
called the Mosuo,
living in what has been
named the Kingdom of Women.
Here the women are openly
stronger than the men
and entirely in charge.
They practice
walking marriage.
The women choose who
they want to be married to.
And when things
get old or stale,
they simply decide boom,
they're not married anymore,
and they move on
to another husband.
And another. And another.
And the guy has no say.
The woman's
pleasure and convenience
is all that matters.
She's in control,
and it's easy,
fast, and painless.
[laughs] Must be nice.
Here, now,
in 21st-century Harlem,
being a woman in total control
of her life and love
is not always easy.
One theory on why the Mosuo
not only survive, but thrive,
is that they are a tribe
of unbreakable sisters.
And luckily,
I've got one of those too.
[singer] Throw some shade
if you look good ♪
Wave ya hand
if you look good ♪
Uh-huh yo yo ♪
Now tell them bitches
anyway ♪
'Cause we don't care ♪
What none of them
gal affi say ♪
You can't stop me
I'ma fulfil a prophecy ♪♪
[Camille] We have always had
to go faster, further, better
just to be seen
as barely keeping up.
But how do we do that in love,
especially now,
when in Harlem,
change is everywhere you look?
[singer] Your hands
in the air ♪
[Camille] And it can become
increasingly hard
to hang on to who you are
when you barely recognize
where you are.
[singer] Yes I am humble ♪
Yes but why lie ♪
I am the reason why ♪
These girls go bye bye ♪
Wave ya hand
if you look good ♪
Throw some shade
if you look good ♪♪
[Camille] At some point, you
just begrudgingly accept
things just don't look the way
you thought they would.
And that comes to dating too.
Because the number of
actual dateable men is bleak.
In Harlem,
educated Black women
are forced to navigate
a playing field in which
men have significantly
more dating options.
So it's not that we're
desperate or thirsty.
We're literally dealing with
a real life man deficit,
which leaves us
with two options.
We reassess our deal breakers
and widen the pool
or we hold firm
to our wish list
and, like the Mosuo,
refuse to settle,
despite the numbers.
And we focus
okay, well,
maybe overly focus
okay, okay, obsess
on trying to control
the one thing that we can:
ourselves.
So yes,
I'm here to say
we are not Mosuo.
But this week,
what if we were?
I want you to try to live
like Mosuo.
Women, be the boss.
Demand change when you want it.
Stop apologizing so damn much.
Men, do what the women say
without question.
I want us to get out
of those comfort zones.
And give me 500 words
on what that was like.
Class dismissed.
That was amazing.
Professor,
I have something for you.
[heartbeat echoing]
Thank you, Malik, again.
You're welcome.
And by the way,
if you wanna help me
with the assignment,
I would be happy
to get out of my comfort zone
and eagerly do
whatever you say.
Malik, it's against
Columbia's rules,
and frankly, my moral code,
for me to date a student.
[Malik] Mm.
Goodbye, Malik.
Kansas State is offering me
full-time professor
with tenure.
And you wanna move to Kansas?
No, no.
Of course, no, I don't want to.
But I'm not gonna lie, Robin,
the offer's nice.
It better be.
It's in Kansas.
No.
I'm sure the offer
is tempting, Camille,
but these things
are like dating.
You can't just jump
on the first sexy thing
that comes your way
just because he's nice.
I know.
Columbia is what I want.
Columbia is my soulmate,
but the bitch won't commit.
Sorry.
I just need to know
that I'm not gonna wind up
being Columbia's
oldest adjunct professor.
I didn't work with you
all these years
to let that happen.
I was waiting to surprise you.
As soon as the budget's in,
I'm gonna move the money
to have you
join the department full-time.
I promise.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
[bagel crunches]
Why did you let me do that?
I gotta hide it somewhere.
That's
that's what it's come to.
[Camille] From the moment
we all graduated,
all I wanted was to become
a full-time professor.
Now it's happening.
[Quinn] Oh, a promotion
and a proposition.
Bitch, tell me
you fucked that nigga
right there on the desk.
Of course not.
Why does all the hot shit
get wasted on everyone but me?
She's his teacher, Angie.
And it's a "MeToo"
waiting to happen.
No, fuck that.
A good dick
is a terrible thing to waste.
- Hey, sorry.
- Hey, girl.
Late to her own party.
Camille is no fun.
There, you are all caught up.
Jesus, I need a drink.
Ooh, wait, that was there
before we sat down.
[Quinn] So how did it go?
Are you officially
a millionaire?
Well, we were meeting
in my office
and I said
Wow.
$750,000.
Mr. Van Horn.
Please, Tye, it's Rick.
Okay, great Rick.
[Rick] That is a lot of money.
So what do you think?
You're ready to sell Q
and take your seat
at the big kids' table, Tye?
What do I think?
I think
only a fucking idiot
would agree
to that kind of valuation.
And of the two of us,
I'd say I'm not the one
who looks like a fucking idiot.
Nice suit, by the way.
Give 1987 my regards.
Q is the only online dating app
worth the shit
that's reaching the fastest
growing market there is:
queer people of color.
So do I wanna join your seat
at the big kids' table?
I'm a grown-ass woman.
And I'm of two minds:
no,
and fucking hell no.
But thanks
for dropping by, Rick.
You're sure you wanna
I mean
surely you can weigh in here.
My assistant?
You want my assistant
to weigh in on my decision?
He's your really?
Yeah.
Really.
Oh, and by the way, Rick,
the name isn't Tye, it's
Your Highness.
Yes, yes!
- Come on, Tye.
- Yes, queen.
Ms. Jackson, if you nasty.
If you nasty.
- See, you could be part Mosuo.
- Part what?
[Angie] Way to bring it down
with an Annalise Keating
teaching moment.
It is only a tribe of women
who call their own shots.
That is me.
Bitch, that's us.
Ooh!
[camera clicking]
[Angie laughs]
Are we supposed to pretend
that didn't just happen?
New lady.
She's into sexting.
Ooh, be careful.
That Internet shit is forever.
You would not believe
the things
that guys have posted of me.
I would sorta believe.
So this new lady,
she's a model?
Instagram influencer?
Model/Instagram influencer?
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Well, you do have a type.
We will take the 1988 bottle
of Sauvignon Blanc.
Ooh.
I'll take one of those too.
With a straw.
I'm bored.
Better off or on?
Off or on?
Okay, okay.
Every woman has value.
And you pay it
in cash or PayPal.
[laughter]
Whatever.
Tye, we get it.
You like simple
so you can be in charge.
That's not true.
- Is it?
- Bitch, please.
- Yeah, definitely.
- Completely.
Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
That wasn't ours either.
Then who ordered drinks?
So now I'm thinking
that we do
my new wrap dress in this.
Ugh, I love it.
It will elevate the dress
to a higher price point.
[Kim] Yeah, and listen,
with the extra money,
- extra profit.
- Extra meals.
So instead of the usual
"Buy a dress,
serve four people,"
when you buy this dress,
we can donate ten meals
Real ass bitch
give a fuck about a nigga ♪
To all of the new
Big Birkin bag
hold five six figures ♪
I'm so sorry, Kim.
Just give me one second.
My neighbor is having
a bit of an issue.
Fuckin' on a scammin' ass ♪
- Angie.
- Rich ass nigga ♪♪
Hey hey hey.
Angie, I'm on a work call.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
- It's fine.
I just have to get
this new dress launched.
- It won't be long.
- Girl, I don't get you.
If I had your money,
ooh, I would not work.
Well, you don't work now,
so that tracks.
Speaking of,
what happened with
the Sheraton interview?
Oh, girl.
No, yeah, I couldn't.
I'm not really about that
"hotel lounge singer" life.
It feel more "last stop"
than "comeback," you feel me?
Okay, but it paid money,
which you will need
if you wanna move out
and get your own place someday.
Girl, you would be lonely
without me here.
Besides, if Gayle ever
got her own money,
do you think Oprah
would be her bestie?
One, Gayle has several jobs.
And two, I promise
we will still be besties
even if you do get a job.
I just wanna help
in a way that actually helps.
You living here was supposed
to support you for singing.
But you stopped doing that.
So who are you if you're just
sitting around
on a couch all day
talking about singing
but not actually
ever really doing it?
LaToya?
- Oh.
- [chuckles]
Girl, I'm still the same Angie
that you know and love.
You ain't gotta worry about me
changing up on you.
- We are girls for life.
- And that's fine.
I just wanna make sure
we're not roommates for life.
I ain't mad
at the Golden Girls.
And since we are giving out
professional advice,
here's two cents for
your collection plate.
Don't leave business calls
on hold
to go and harass your roommate.
Oh, shit. Kim?
Kim!
It's easy for her to say.
Everything is easy for Quinn.
Not true.
I just know
whatever I do next,
it has to be good.
I mean, I had the record deal,
nothing happened,
and then they dropped me.
By the way, vegan ice cream
is some nasty bullshit.
I actually like it.
- Angie!
- It's nasty.
Listen, it was one deal
four years ago.
Move on, start again.
You're too good not to.
When we were at NYU,
that line used to be
around the block
to hear you sing.
Girl, yeah, and you hit 30,
and "used to" starts sounding
like a has-been bitch
who never made it.
Stop it, no.
No.
Oh, no. Oh, my God, duck.
What the fuck?
Right there at
the end of the corner.
My dude, what's up?
- Is that
- Holy shit.
Ian.
[UMI: "Down to Earth"]
Can't get no sleep ♪
The moon it knows I ♪
Don't want you to leave ♪
Take care of yourself.
[crying softly]
Just to be with you I try ♪
To be free with you ♪
I'd fall back down
to Earth ♪
And the brother got a beard?
Still fine.
Shit, I'd like to leave
some love crumbs in that.
Angie.
Sorry, inside thought.
[Camille] He knows
this is my block.
It should be a rule:
exes cannot walk
on each other's blocks.
Sweetie,
that would leave me a very,
very small patch of the Bronx.
Oh, my God.
If he's visiting his mom
that means
he's coming this way.
Quick, before he sees us.
[Angie] Oh, girl,
new shoes, new shoes,
new shoes, new shoes.
Slow down. I don't run!
All right,
I'm on my way right now.
God, I always knew
he would come back to you.
Girl, you watch
way too much Hallmark.
Only at Christmas.
It was just weird.
Jarring, you know?
I mean, since he ran away
to become a chef,
I honestly haven't really
thought much about him.
Girl, who the hell
are you kidding?
Shh.
It is a commercial
about coconut water.
Turn your ass around.
He looked good, too,
and not just, like, Ian good
but, like,
my next orgasm good.
I'm not sure
how to take that.
He probably got him
a nice little French Fry
he keeping it tight for.
No, she Black.
Camille 2.0. Am I right?
How would I I don't know.
And even if Ian
does have a girlfriend,
which to be clear,
I don't care if he does,
what does her race
have to do with anything?
Kind of everything.
If she's Black, be cool.
You don't want that bad karma.
But if she's white?
Fair game, bitch.
Stealing a Black man
from a white woman
is not an act of treason.
It's an act of bravery.
[Camille] Well, whatever.
How would I know
if Ian has a girl?
Okay, fine.
Yes, I cyberstalked his ass
and I got nothing.
How is he still not on
any social media?
Be careful, Camille.
Of what?
I am the one who chose this.
I am the one who ended things.
It's what I wanted.
Yet you haven't
had a date since.
You know what? It's
can we just change the subject?
I'm taking
the last cheese stick.
You ate the first one
and the second one
and every other one,
so why stop now?
- Did you want?
- Nasty.
And it's not like
he told me that he was,
you know, back from
out of town or anything.
So he obviously moved on too.
Is this the
"change the subject" part?
And it's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine because I'm Mosuo.
Mm-hmm.
I was with him,
and I chose to move on.
Yass. You know what?
Switch it up.
That's what I'm doing.
I thought about what
you said the other day
about the kind of women
that I'm with.
So I decided to ask out Shayla.
Shayla?
That sounds like
a stripper name.
Like a daytime stripper name.
Mm, like good morning,
gentlemen,
enjoy your waffles as you
welcome to the pole,
all: Shayla!
Okay. Forget all y'all.
Shayla is an investment banker.
And she is very smart
and very stud.
I'm impressed.
- Ooh.
- Here we go.
- Madea in 3D, y'all.
- Yes!
Hello!
[singer] I keep it
juicy juicy ♪
I eat that lunch ♪
She keep that booty booty
she keep that plump ♪
Yeah yeah ♪
That natural beauty beauty
yeah yeah ♪
If you could see it
from the front ♪
Wait till
you see it from the ♪
Back back back
back back ♪
Back back yeah
back back back ♪♪
[music stops]
Hey, Malik.
I dropped your class.
Effective immediately.
I guess you really hated it.
No, I loved it.
But you can't date a student.
Problem solved.
[man over intercom]
Attention, Columbia students.
Reminder: do not use
the faculty lounge.
Malik, hoping for a date
seems like an odd reason
to adjust
your academic schedule.
And yet,
I am going to pick up
your phone,
put my number in.
Be in control.
Call me if you want.
And I think you should want.
[Angie] You are insane.
How did you not take him
in the locker room right there?
Yeah, technically
I am free
to date him now,
but he's too young.
I'm not having sex
in the locker room.
Don't knock it.
- Hello.
- Okay?
[hostess] Your table's ready.
Right this way.
So they just gonna walk
on in here and get a table?
Yeah, what the fuck
was that?
That was the moment
this place started
gentrifying on the inside.
Girl, the Whole Foods
on 125th was the final nail.
- Miss. Hi.
- Hi.
We're here all the time
and we've never
had to wait this long.
Next table's yours.
Any minute now.
Pick one, sweetie.
Which minute? Fifth? Tenth?
Soon.
Noel's, how may I help you?
Oh, you pretending
to answer the phone?
I know that move.
That's my move.
Okay, inside voice,
inside voice.
Ooh.
We might have to go
somewhere else.
I got another date
with Shayla later.
Maybe dating a boss
is my speed.
Ooh, so the first date
went well?
Spectacular might be the word.
- Spectacular?
- What?
Uh-huh, she picked the place,
she picked the wine,
and for the first time
in my adult life,
I did not pay.
What?
Well, I have a date too.
Oh, come on, do you guys
not wanna hear about
my latest Tinder-roni?
Is it the dude
with the doll collection?
Collectible action figures.
Or that Bajan nigga
who stole your flat screen?
Unproven.
[Tye] He stole that shit.
I literally caught
him walking out with it.
Well, you know,
look on the bright side.
He can take you on a date now,
'cause I'm pretty sure
- he pawned it.
- [laughs]
Okay, you know what?
Forget it.
- Forget it.
- Okay, who-who is it?
Thank you for asking,
Camille.
- His name is Cory. 32.
- Mm.
And a lawyer.
A working lawyer.
- Mm.
- At a real firm.
I checked this time.
And here is the kicker.
He lives on Long Island.
Uh, that's far.
Are we really
commuting for cock?
[Tye] Mm-mm.
Ladies,
we're ready for you now.
Sure, she hears
the word "cock"
and she comes running.
- [laughter]
- I come running for it.
[shrieks]
Quinn! I thought about
what you said.
I got a job. I'm singing.
Oh, my God. That's amazing.
- The Sheraton?
- Girl, give that a rest, no.
It's an open mic night
tomorrow.
Oh.
"Oh"?
I'm singing for the first time
in, like, a year, and "oh"?
That better not be
the end of that sentence.
That shit better be a fragment.
No, no, I'm happy.
I'm super happy.
It's just not a, you know,
job-job.
Oh, okay, thanks
for clearing that up.
It's industry night
so it could really
lead to something.
Why the hell are you dressing
like a TJ Maxx Olivia Pope?
Hey, it's my design,
and I didn't mean
I'm not excited for you.
[Angie] It's fine, whatever.
You know, have a good train
ride to the Island of Long.
- Or is it a flight out there?
- Ha-ha.
Why are you going
all the way to Long Island?
Make his ass come to you.
He has to work until 10:00.
So it's easier
for me to go to him.
Oh, so it's not
a date-date.
Yes, it is.
It is most definitely
a date-date, okay?
It is a date-date-date.
There's no such thing
as an 11:00 date.
Dates start at 7:00 or 8:00,
maybe 9:00.
But 11:00 is fuck o'clock.
Don't shit on my night
just 'cause I said
that thing about the open mic.
I just don't get how that's
better than getting paid.
Singing for a bunch
of drunk tourists
from wherever-the-fuck
at a Times Square Sheraton
is not going
to lead to anything.
I need more. I deserve more.
This is for people who could
really offer me something.
And I have to think long-term.
I don't have a trust fund
and parents supporting
my every move.
No, you just use me for that.
Use?
You think I use you?
I don't know, Angela.
But enjoy my rent-free couch.
Fuck that.
And fuck that wack-ass outfit
and this stiff shitty couch.
You can find another
charity case
to make you feel less guilty
about your bougie bullshit.
My train doesn't leave
for another
two-and-a-half more hours
but do not talk to me.
[singer] You know
that I know ♪
We overdose ♪
They say we're too close ♪
We do but don't ♪
I know we ain't ghosts ♪
We just fucked hey yeah ♪
I know you know ♪
You know that I know ♪
We overdose ♪
They say we're too close ♪
We do but don't ♪
I know we're not ghosts ♪
We just fucked hey yeah ♪♪
♪
Can I confess something?
I don't usually date
other masc women.
Me neither.
You were a dare.
You were an experiment.
So is your experiment working?
You trying to find out?
[upbeat music]
[singer] Shake your body ♪
Every day is a party
every day is a party ♪
Every day is a party
shake your body ♪♪
Uh, is loud music
a Long Island thing?
Yeah, maybe.
- I I don't know.
- What
Hey, can I get
a Jack and Coke?
What about your firm?
Is there a lot of
upward mobility there?
- Sure.
- It's funny because
my father is actually
oh, my God! Shit.
Do you see what you just did?
This is wool crepe.
Wool crepe!
I'm I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, um
um, I'm gonna
go to the ladies' room.
I'll be right back.
Actually, would you mind
watching my purse for me?
Oh, for sure.
I will be right back.
I'm sitting there!
[hand dryer blowing]
Ooh, yeah.
Yeah, honey,
you fuck that dryer.
[retching]
Elegance of Long Island
is endless.
[woman] Ugh, I'm never gonna
drink again.
[hand dryer blowing]
♪
Um, I'm sorry,
have you seen my date
that was sitting right here?
- Blue suit.
- Yeah.
He said you'd settle up.
I'm sorry, what?
- He left?
- Yeah.
He left?
He left.
Oh, my God, my purse.
Oh, my God, excuse me, sir.
Get up, get up.
He took my purse!
Motherfucker!
Oh, motherfucking fuck,
fuck, fuck.
Hi, oh, my gosh.
I'm sorry, can I
could I use your phone?
God damn it.
Um, I'm so sorry.
- Hi, hi.
- Whoa, you all right?
Oh, my God.
I am having the worst night
of my life.
I was just wondering,
I'm trying to get on the
next train back to Manhattan.
Is there any way you can
find it in your heart
to give me $10?
I get what's happening here.
I say no, then you offer
your "services"
so you can go buy some crack?
I don't want crack, sir.
I just wanna
get on the next train.
Well, you must be smoking
'cause the next train
ain't coming until 5:00 a.m.
Wait. What?
5:00?
[train whistles]
Shit!
Oh, my God!
[upbeat music]
I've been waiting
for this moment
since you asked me out.
Me too.
Oh, yeah, put your face
all up in it.
Ah, ah, get out.
Too much, too much, too much,
too much, hold on.
- Like you running a feather.
- I got it.
Uh-uh, I said a feather.
- Lighter, lighter, lighter.
- Okay.
Yeah, yeah, stay like that.
Mm, stay like that.
Ooh, stay exactly like that.
Don't move.
Ooh, no matter what,
do not move.
Yes, oh, I'm coming.
Oh, I'm coming.
Oh, oh, oh, fuck.
Ah, shit.
Well
- that was amazing.
- [chuckles]
I gotta shower.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What, wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry.
I told you I got
a conference call in Tokyo.
Look. It was fun.
- [kisses]
- [scoffs]
Bitch, I just dislocated my jaw
and you gonna
leave me like that?
[Fousheé: "single af"]
♪
I tested my patience ♪
Confronted my fears
I finally faced them ♪
Now I can say I'm ♪
I'm good on my own ♪
I put in the wayment yeah ♪
Making a change
ain't comfortable but ♪
It's definitely something
I've done before ♪
- Finally ready to go out ♪
- [clears throat]
Never felt so sexy
feel bad for my exes ♪♪
[Camille] "Professor Parks,
the truth is
we can never be Mosuo"
misspelled
"because we as women
paralyze ourselves
"worrying about
the consequences
if we did own our own power."
[sighs]
It's such
a beautiful thing ♪
I can proudly say I'm ♪
I'm say that
I'm single as fuck ♪
Single as fuck ♪
Ooh ooh single as fuck ♪
Single as fuck ♪
Ooh ooh ♪
- I'm single ♪
- Single ♪
Ready to mingle ♪
Tryna prepare
for the trouble ♪
I'm 'bout to get into ♪
Pardon the interlude ♪
But let me
introduce you to ♪♪
[Camille] Fuck it, I'm Mosuo.
- I'm glad you called.
- Right, sure.
Okay, wait.
I just wanna lay
some ground rules
so that you don't have
an unrealistic expectation
- of what this is.
- Of course.
I am just honoring
my Mosuo sisters.
And I mean, because I'm not
pressuring you into this,
right?
Nah, we good.
[Camille] Okay.
Because I don't wanna get
"Me Too'd" or "He Too'd."
I still can't believe
I called you.
I'm not sure
that I should have.
I think maybe you should go.
You sure?
Holy shit.
And right then,
when it seemed like
the choice I made
was exactly what I needed
Okay, Professor.
[Camille] That I was Mosuo,
taking what I wanted.
Take charge.
[Camille] He wanted
something else,
and the worst thing ever
was staring me
right in the face.
[stammers]
[singer] Throw it back
if you nasty ♪
Bounce it
like it's elastic ♪
Go 'head
break it down real low ♪♪
Yeah, I I I gotta go.
[singer] Go 'head
break it down real low ♪
Stop playin' with it ♪♪
No, you know what? Um
you gotta go.
[woman on TV] We would
watch them with our dad.
They'd stay up late
on Friday nights
[phone buzzing]
Postmates,
where the fuck is my pasta?
[Quinn] No, it's me.
- Quinn.
[Quinn] This nice lady
is letting me use her phone.
What do you want?
I'm packing.
[singer] Just so good
at being in trouble ♪
Spending my days
out in the ghetto ♪
Mama say that
I need to be careful ♪♪
I know.
I know.
Okay, please don't, Angie.
I'm so humiliated.
Girl, don't be.
You keep
putting yourself out there.
That takes way more strength
than just sitting at home
and
fucking strangers
on a friend's couch.
That's a hypothetical, right?
Sure.
I can't believe you stayed
out here all night long.
Yup.
Not so bougie after all.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said
that stuff.
And I didn't mean any of it,
Quinnie.
I know.
And I should just be happy
that you got a gig
and that I get
to hear you sing.
Thank you.
And Gayle,
as long as I have money,
you'll have a place to live.
Good.
'Cause Tye said
I couldn't stay with her.
[laughs]
And Camille's shit
is too small.
[chuckles] I know it is.
Come on.
[Quinn] Ugh, girl.
- And fuck Long Island.
- [laughs]
Is-is that my new coat
from Bergdorf?
In case you were cold.
I was thinking of you.
I don't
I don't think you were.
And are those my
- girl, give me my shades.
- Listen.
[guitar strumming]
Yo.
That young nigga wanted you
to lick his ass?
It's like one second
I'm thinking,
"You know, he's not that young.
This is okay."
The next I'm looking down
the barrel of a bootyhole.
Oh, no.
What's the big deal?
Dick, balls, ass,
it's all the same neighborhood.
Yo, you lick ass?
Why not?
I mean, even with
a freakishly long taint,
you're still dick adjacent.
No.
Husbands do not ask
their future wives
to lick their booties.
That is my favorite
Bible verse.
[laughter]
I know it was a mistake,
but I thought it might
help get Ian out of my head.
Like a sexual palate cleanser.
All right, I'm gonna need
another cocktail
if I'm gonna finish
this conversation.
Yes, just hurry,
'cause she's singing next.
Oh, and get me one too.
And tell him less ice.
Hey, okay, bossy.
[Camille] And in the end, yes,
here in 21st-century Harlem,
we sisters
can be fierce Mosuo.
Be in charge, call the shots,
get what we want.
When the feeling
comes over me ♪
I remember
what it feels like ♪
[Camille] But what if
what we want is to go back?
[Angie]
I said never again ♪
[Camille] When Mosuo think
they've made a mistake,
is it better to try again?
[Angie] I remember
what you feel like ♪
[Camille] Or to look ahead?
[Angie] It was real right ♪
I said never again
but I still might ♪
♪
No attachments ♪
I'm better ♪
Done healing ♪
We ain't together ♪
Except for tonight
maybe one last time ♪
We can ♪
When the feeling
comes over me ♪
I remember
what it feels like ♪
It was real right ♪
I said never again ♪
When the feeling
comes over me ♪
I remember
what you feel like ♪
Mm it was real right ♪
I said never again
but I still might ♪
Drowning in wine
just talking with my girls ♪♪
[funky music]
Oh, my God. Dr. Pruitt?
I've read all three
of your books.
If you need anything,
I'm your girl,
'cause I've given up dating,
and I really wanna
hone on in my career goals.
Can I call you back?
[man] That's fine, Dr. Pruitt.
- I'll talk to you later.
- Sorry!
♪
This is not
how I pictured my life.
Hi, Ian!
Ian, right?
Hi, Ian.
Oh, Ian, what's up?
Hey!
[Angie] My producer,
he wants me
to come to their offices
tomorrow.
So what we doing?
It's Get Out the musical.
[all] We're
in the same damn place ♪
♪
What a casually dressed
surprise.
- Quinn?
- Oh, that's right.
You two know each other.
Only from the entire year
that we dated, Mom.
My Forbes interview
has turned into
a two-page spread.
I knew it!
Your dream is coming true!
It's like the great Lady Gaga
once said,
"You can get 99 no's"
I'ma stop you right there.
both: Thank you.
♪
- And he's here.
- We should leave.
- Go in.
- Go in?
We'll just go in.
No, no, no, no, no.
- We should leave. Leave.
- We should leave.
[Angie] Swearing you'll
never be back in my world ♪
I know I'm lying
'cause when I see you 1
I wanna do the things
that we used to do ♪
You got me jonesing
I'm all in my feels ♪
They're taking over
it's getting that real ♪
If I let you win
you bow out your way ♪
You keep my heart
so be careful okay? ♪
Ooh ooh ♪
Ooh ♪
Ooh I just might
I just might ♪♪