Hellcats s01e01 Episode Script

a few blocks off Beale street in the heart of Memphis.
Birthplace of rock 'n' roll, the blues, and Clogged arteries.
I ride my bike everywhere because these are tough times.
Money's been tight for me and my mom.
I could never afford a school like lancer if I weren't on scholarship.
Lancer's like this little oasis.
The whole place is powered by sports money.
A promised land where football is God.
And where there's football, can cheerleaders be far behind? Stop! All: Boom.
Let's go.
You know where it's at.
Jump on it.
Let's hear it for the wildcats! Lancer's cheer jocks call themselves the hellcats.
They wear adorable matching outfits, live in their own private dorm, and steer clear of outsiders.
Like happy little cult members.
Not my crowd, to say the least, but Life can take you to some pretty unexpected places.
Hey, Marti.
Hey.
When are you due back up at the dos? It's a light load today.
I took an hour lunch.
Plenty of time to ponder the unponderable.
Today's topic? Ok, what makes a person decide to become a cheerleader? Science.
You know, over time all that pep builds up pressure.
So they have to vent.
Otherwise their heads explode.
You know, I don't trust any culture that builds pyramids.
Human or otherwise.
You know, Egyptians enslaved the Jews.
Aztecs.
Human sacrifices.
Freemasons put pyramids on money, giving us Dan brown.
They've earned their spot in hell.
Right next to the cheerleaders.
Tighten up, guys.
Ok, Dan patch.
Call it.
Um, ponytail chick up top.
I want her head above my mantel.
You want her head in your lap.
Marti.
My delicate sensibilities.
Do not actually exist.
You guys, tighten! Gotcha! Ok, who's next? Tighten up! Tighten up! That's outstanding.
Keep shooting, sniper.
The blonde one's getting away.
You got to get her.
Right there.
Dude, dude, knock it off.
That girl's hurt.
Oh, come on, smile.
They're only cheerleaders.
No.
No.
Mom, what is this? You weren't supposed to see that.
You know, they send those out to scare you into paying.
Are you hungry? Ok, it says my scholarship was canceled.
Last semester.
Lancer cut fringes for university employees.
What, fringe? My scholarship is not fringe, it's central to my life.
It'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
Union says that they cannot pull scholarships for students that are already enrolled.
Enrolled.
But they did.
But they can't.
But they did.
Yes, but they can't.
The union is taking them to court and everything.
How long will that take? T take? You're the one studying law.
I mean, why don't you ask one of your professors? Ok, this bill is I have a week to pay or I'm barred from classes.
Trying to scare you.
Well, it worked.
I didn't want you to see this because I didn't want you to worry.
hon, everything works out eventually.
You'll see.
Are you sure I can't fix you something to eat? -Love you.
-Love you.
I'll miss qualifiers.
The most important part of healing, Alice, of any professional athlete, is gonna be patience.
I hate patience.
Can't you just shoot me up with something? Absolutely not.
Have a snoopy sticker instead.
I keep them for difficult patients.
Your boyfriend is hilarious.
He's also our team doctor, and you should listen to him.
And he's hot.
Seen better.
And I will be getting a second opinion.
I think she's crushing on you.
So, are you gonna be home for dinner? No, I have to figure out how I'm replacing Alice in time well, don't you next week have backups? Kim and Cassie transferred, Natalia got herself pregnant, and my other 2 flyers are injured.
I swear this squad is cursed.
No pessimism, Vanessa.
Positive outcomes only.
Yes, Savannah.
Thank you, Savannah.
Wow.
Coach got spanked.
Watch it or you're gonna get spanked.
Alice! Uh-uh.
No.
Put the sharpie down.
Arm.
I'm just gonna wash it off.
This will provide inspiration and speed recovery.
Sure it will.
It's nice ink.
She's gonna write "clumsy" next.
Right on your forehead.
Aw, so you slipped and knocked down the pyramid and I'm the bad guy 'cause I fell on you? You don't pay attention.
Wait, were you still talking right there? If I was injured, I'd be flipping you off right now.
Oh, wait, I have 2 hands.
This gym is a no negativity zone.
The scholarship cutbacks have hurt a lot of students.
I just wish you had come in sooner.
Our discretionary aid money ran out weeks ago.
I'm sorry.
You need to understand.
I've been taking care of my mom since my dad left.
I wash her clothes, I buck her up when her heart gets broken.
I pay bills, I work weekends.
Do you know what gets me through? Well, if it's drugs, don't tell me 'cause I'm obligated to report it.
Hope.
The hope that I can graduate and move far, far away and live like a normal person.
You kill my hope and you kill me.
Do you understand? I need to stay in school.
Please.
Ok, listen.
If it helps, there are some unconventional scholarships available.
Odd little things from specialty groups.
They're in this catalogue.
I hope there's something there.
Oh, look, there's a scholarship for students with the last name of van Valkenberg.
Hmm, one for people fluent in klingon.
And let's see here.
Uh, oh, one for those interested in pursuing a career in the potato industry.
Eh, I don't know where to start.
If you flip to the back, there's one for very sarcastic people.
Glad you can find joy in your job.
Hey, Savannah.
Hellcats taking us to the nationals this season? You know it, Mona.
I'm dropping of my scholarship papers for Mr.
Rabin.
Can you see that he gets it? You're applying for a scholarship? I have one now.
For cheerleading.
Cheerleading? Comes with being a hellcat.
They need us fierce and focused.
Eye on the prize.
Whoa, whoa, wait.
There's a scholarship for cheerleading? For being a football groupie? Sorry.
Did you just call me a groupie? Oh, nothing personal against you.
I it doesn't get more personal than calling someone a groupie.
Ok, groupie's jump up and down in skimpy outfits screaming adulation for masculine fantasy figures.
Yeah, beyond that, we're splitting hairs.
Take that back.
Whoa.
Are we in grade school? I call no take-backs.
Don't make me come down off this porch.
Are you actually threatening me? Physically? We are an internationally-recognized competitive sport.
We spend 20 hours a week practicing.
We bench press twice our body weight and run a 7-minute mile.
We compete with broken thumbs and twisted ankles, smiling through the pain.
We are athletes.
Back in Dollywood, maybe.
You know, wouldn't you rather get right to the hair pulling? I'm not gonna let some grubby little goth insult the lancer hellcats.
Oh, my God, you did not just call me goth.
On down to whatever gas station you work at.
Text my good friend Marilyn Manson and we can all throw down.
Everyone's staring.
We should leave quietly.
-Count of three.
-Yeah.
My name is Vanessa lodge.
I have the honor of being coach for the lancer university hellcats.
It's really great to see you all here today.
And I'm hoping at least one of you has what it takes to wear hellcat blue.
So tel me, ladies, did you bring your a-game? Stop.
I'm sorry, I asked who brought their a-game? That's what I'm talking about.
You know, you realize that this is insane.
Yes, painfully aware.
Thank you.
Hey, number 26.
Come on, move it.
Stragglers will be shot.
Yeah, yeah.
Right with you, pal.
Hey, you are mighty.
You are Batgirl.
You are blindly optimistic.
Thank you for noticing.
Hey, don't trip, number 26.
Bite me.
Who has the makings of a lancer hellcat? You're a judge? Captain, actually.
Good luck.
You know that one? I tried to slap her the other day.
She has fast hands.
Nice work.
Put that one out of my misery.
Be nice.
Let's go.
Is that an Adam's apple? Ooh, no.
I don't think so.
Count it out.
You've got this.
.
Hopeless.
Number 26, just chill.
Have fun.
You can do it.
That is not what we do.
No, it is not.
She's not doing the choreography.
Did she just do a lay-out, step-out? It took me 6 months to hit that.
Yeah! Fantastic, ladies.
Nice work.
Take a breather.
Well, damn, girl.
Where'd you pick up those moves? Um, townie bars.
I've been going since I was 16.
And I may have trained a little bit.
I'm Marti, by the way.
Lewis.
So, tell me, Lewis, Captain Bobblehead over there.
Savannah.
Can the other two outvote her? I guess so.
Why? No reason.
Well, I know she nearly crapped herself when you landed that step out.
Landed the what? Oh, wow, you are green.
Yeah, you're green.
Ok, number 26 is up next.
No way.
I liked the crazy dancing thing.
It's weird.
It's different.
We need to mix it up or Memphis Christian kills us at qualifiers.
Savannah? Hello? You're the tie-breaker.
Ok.
And Open.
Open now.
And Now.
Yes! Yes! Cheertown? Really? It's a nickname.
They force all the cheerleaders to live here.
It supposedly promotes spirit.
Rah.
It seems like such a waste when our apartment's just off campus.
Well, it keeps me in school.
Do you understand how close I came to having to drop out? The position you put me in? Well, you know, what's important is that everything worked out.
And now, I told you that everything was gonna be all right.
Hey, why don't we drop this stuff off, go out and celebrate, get some ribs, find some guys to buy us some drinks.
Huh? Look, after we drop off this stuff, I have to actually unpack it and get some sleep.
You know, I have and 3 hours of cheerleading rehearsal tomorrow, so I can't.
You know, I think they call it practice.
Well, whatever they call it, it's gonna kick my ass.
I'm still sore from the audition.
Tryout.
Yes, yes.
Tryout.
What? I miss you already.
Mom.
Mom.
You work on campus.
I'm gonna see you every day.
Whereas I'm facing a house full of alien cheerleaders, all right? Look, if they don't accept me, I'll get cut from the squad, lose my new scholarship, and end up working the grease gun at jiffy lube.
[Scoffs.]
Marti the martyr.
Yes.
I love when you call me that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bond or instigate a pillow fight or something.
I love you.
Hey, why don't I come in and meet your new friends? Love you, mom.
Cheertown.
Oh, hey, I'm one of the new girls.
Marti.
I know who you are.
I voted against you.
I was overruled.
Democracy's a bitch.
Apparently so you are.
Hello, Marti.
Welcome to Cheertown.
Hey, you know what, can we just start over? I'm sorry about the other day.
I was in a crap mood and I went looking for a fight.
I put that aside.
Vanessa thinks you can help us beat Memphis Christian next week, and that what matters.
That's why I voted for you.
You voted for me? Seriously? After all the stuff I said? You can make up for your appalling rudeness with hard work and perseverance.
So, tea station, microwave, mini-fridge.
You initial your food, I'll initial mine.
Of course, no alcohol or processed meats allowed.
And here I've allocated half the dresser space for you.
I prefer the upper drawers.
Oh, I'm a bottom myself.
That's a joke.
We should come up with a signal for that to avoid confusion.
I've earmarked half my linens, coverlets, and towels for you.
If by "coverlet" you mean bedspread, got my own.
It's nicer.
It matches.
Don't you think? I've cleaned out that desk for you and lined it with shelving paper.
Do you prefer silk or wood hangers? I've stocked up on both just in case.
You wanted to see me? Coach lodge, please, sit.
I'm sure you've heard that we are looking to hire a new head football coach.
I've heard gossip.
Do you have someone? He's touring the facilities.
We'd like to keep it quiet until the deal's done, but I'm not gonna lie to you, he is expensive.
Facilities.
You're cutting my budget? Again? I'm notifying the coaches of all athletic disciplines.
Unsuccessful programs will be eliminated.
The board of regents defines success as winning.
In your case, placing at the nationals this spring.
You can't cut cheerleading froma.
The hellcats will continue to cheer at the games, but we're gonna eliminate the competition element.
The competition is what these kids live for.
The football is how they pay the rent.
Vanessa, these are tough times.
You need a winning season.
Fear is such a lousy motivator, bill.
Ah, Vanessa.
I'm sure you remember the famous coach red Raymond.
You're coming back to lancer? They're courting me.
How the hell have you been? What's it been, about 10 years? I guess.
Wow.
Well, this brings back memories.
The last time the three of us were in a room together it was under less than celebratory circumstances.
Hey, bill, how about you give us the room? Red, it's my office.
Maybe.
Negotiations are still in progress.
I'll be down the hall.
Thanks, bill.
Did you enjoy that? I enjoy everything.
I don't know what to say.
Congrats, I guess, on your big job.
I appreciate the civility, I do.
Now come on, let me go buy you a big ol' slab of meat.
Ok, just so we're clear, I have a boyfriend.
And we just moved in together.
He bought me this.
See? It's serious.
It's very serious.
No doubt.
Things change.
It's called entropy, and it's a law.
You want a souvenir? I bet it's real silver.
Take it.
Be bad.
Bad girl.
The college football world is swirling today with rumors that red Raymond has agreed to contract with lancer university.
Although no official announcement has been made You see this? Sounds like red Raymond is coming back to lancer.
That's a big get.
Hey, did you two ever cross paths back when you were a hellcat? Oh, the cheerleaders never hung out with the football crowd.
Oil and water.
You know? So, how was your day? Good morning, roomie.
I'm off to the gym.
Did you make your bed? Never mind, it's your first day, I'll make it for you.
I'll also leave you an energy bar on your pillow.
See you at practice.
Too early.
What the? Yo, Marti.
Hey.
It's Patty, right? Patty Wedgerman.
Everyone just calls me the wedge.
In or out.
You're causing a draft.
Hey, be nice to the new girl.
I like her.
Hey, what's up with the writing? Oh, that's Savannah's thing.
Supposed to be an inspirational mnemonic.
Does it work? It had better.
The wedge can't afford to coast.
She's barely keeping up with the guys as it is.
Ha.
She has a point.
Take Lewis for example.
He's physically bigger than me, so he naturally has a lot more power.
You'll get a chance to feel those steel-belted arms firsthand since you're replacing Alice here as his flyer.
Better not coast, Alice.
Look, Alice, I know you didn't want me, but now that I'm actually here, I think we should just be friends.
You won't be around long.
The hellcats are short on flyers at a crucial moment.
That is the only reason a dangerously inexperienced outsider got a foot in the door.
Sure, you can move, but look at your body type, you're a tumbler at best, and we've already got all the tumblers we need.
So once I'm back, you'll get bounced.
Unless I oh, what's the word? Prove myself.
In my experience, when you're done with the band-aid, you rip it off and throw it away.
Oh! Oh, I'm the band-aid.
Got it.
Do you invent your own catty metaphors or is there like a book? Crap! Crap! You are a freakin' sick man.
You know that, right? Oh, my God, dude.
Shower and a show.
Hey, Lewis.
Please, help me.
Ahh.
On it.
Does this look crooked to you? I think I might have slept on it wrong.
I really I think I need a splint.
Dude, put that away.
Dudes.
Really.
Look at this.
Yo! I need help! Dudes.
You're really just gonna leave me like this? Really? All clear in the green zone.
Lewis, I owe you one.
Thanks for the save.
Well, you're my new flyer.
We got to look out for each other.
Plus, I like getting naked.
Yeah, me, not so much.
That's too bad.
You got the body for it.
Aw, look at this shot.
When the clouds come in, it's called French light.
Really softens things up.
It's beautiful, huh? Yeah, yeah.
That is some very st light.
I want to snuggle with that light.
So, we gonna hit empire tonight? Uh, practice, exam, second exam, more practice.
You're gonna have to seduce Rosalie without me.
Rosalie's not really my type.
Your type is a girl who says, "sure, Dan, I'll sleep with you.
" Ok, that's a little bit true.
Yeah, more than a little.
Ugh, speaking of practice, I got to get back in 15.
Save the cheerleaders, save the scholarship.
You sure school is worth all this? I could hook you up with a job in the front office [Clicks tongue.]
Like that.
Dan, I'm going to graduate, pass the bar up north, and work in a DA's office where everybody talks in flat yankee vowels.
Yeah, come on.
How can you leave Memphis? My mom lives here.
I live here, too.
That's gotta count for something, right? If I were gonna stay for something I'd stay for the ribs.
Oh, you did not.
Yo, m.
Yeah? These new people.
Don't drift, yeah? Never happen.
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever in a hellcats mini skirt, Marti Perkins.
Ok, gang, our friends at the university have put us in a corner.
Nationals is a must this year.
It's win or go home.
To win, we need to qualify.
The opportunity to do that is next Saturday.
To be competitive against Memphis Christian, we need to up our game.
Change up our moves, we're in a rut.
Vanessa, our moves are textbook.
Yeah, we're gonna check the textbook.
All right? I want you to go in that gym right now, and I want you to forget everything you know.
Ok? Go where the music takes you.
Wing it.
[cheering.]
Cheerleaders do not wing it.
They do now.
Well, if we're going to improvise, shouldn't we make some kind of plan? Let's go.
That's it.
Ok.
See this? Watch what Marti's doing.
There.
Yeah, you got it.
You got it.
Look at Marti.
She's changing it up.
Put some soul into it.
In your hips.
Move your hips.
It's all in your hips.
Girl, come on.
You got it.
Girl, come on.
Shake it like you're from Memphis.
That's it.
Uh-huh.
Ok.
Hey, now.
Let it go.
Yes! Good job! I hope you brought carbs.
I'm running low.
Got some just for you.
Ok, that's cold.
Cold.
Cold.
Wow, really cold.
Ok, ice is your friend.
It loosens muscles.
Stop being a baby.
Hey, the only part of my body that isn't sore is my left hand.
What happened to you, anyway? What do you mean? Well, you've obviously trained.
A lot.
Otherwise you wouldn't be able to keep up.
I was a gymnast up until high school.
So why'd you stop? Well Um, it's a long story.
Uh, senior year we made state.
My mom was there to cheer me on.
She brought a date, and they'd been drinking.
She was screaming and hooting and hollering.
Everybody was looking and wondering who the white trash freak was.
I just kept praying that nobody would connect her to me.
What happened? I missed a jump and fell on my ass.
Mom's an emotional drunk, right, so she comes lurching out of the stand in tears mom's an emotional to make sure I'm ok.
Everybody's looking, all the gymnasts are laughing.
AndAnd then she puked on me.
Shut up.
No, I couldn't make that up if I tried.
So you never went back? Well, um I kept at it for a month of so, but I couldn't get her to stop coming to meets.
Every time I'd step up to those bars, I'dI'd feel her soul-sucking presence, get wigged out, and blow the routine.
We call that getting mental.
Yeah, I finally stopped trying.
It wasn't worth it.
You didn't invite your mother to qualifiers, did you? God no.
What? Ok.
Just checking.
We can't afford a disaster.
Your boyfriend's welcome, of course.
Boyfriend? The hot townie guy I saw you in the bleachers with.
What, Dan? Oh, no, no, no, no.
We're just buds.
I'm sure Lewis will be glad to hear that.
Lewis? Well, he asked Vanessa if he could make you his permanent flyer.
That's great, but what about Alice? I mean, weren't they like a thing? The squad comes first.
We're fighting for out lives.
If we don't place at nationals, the university's pulling the plug on us.
We'll lose our scholarships.
Alice understands that.
So no getting mental.
Yes.
Hey, you.
Can I borrow a pen? Oh, of course.
Blue or black ink? I also have markers.
Great.
I appreciate it.
Bye.
Do you mind if I take this table? Oh, anything for a hellcat.
Oh, my gosh.
You're Marti's mom.
Well, yeah.
How did you know? The resemblance is uncanny.
I would have guessed older sister, but oh, stop.
Marti's been talking about you so much, so I feel like I know you.
You must be really excited about seeing Marti at qualifiers this Saturday.
Wh what are qualifiers? Marti's debut.
You're going, right? You know, she always yells at me when go to those things.
She can be such a diva.
Every little thing has to be just so.
I know.
But she doesn't mean anything by it.
Last night she was going on and on about how you've been this huge inspiration in her life.
Really? She's a mama's girl at heart.
You know, it would be fun to surprise her.
It really would.
You have no idea.
Let me write down the information for you.
You got a pen? Some unlikely people started out as cheerleaders.
I looked it up.
Presidents.
Actors.
Journalists.
Even the occasional supreme court justice.
A job, by the way, that I would be totally up for.
Why not? Because life can take you to some pretty unexpected places.
And if you don't believe me, look what I'm wearing.