Hetty Wainthropp Investigates (1996) s01e01 Episode Script
The Bearded Lady
1 [Footsteps.]
Who are you? Woman: "Welcome to the club.
" Violets and a poodle.
What am I meant to be joining? Crafts? "From one seasoned senior citizen "to a new arrival.
Esther chadwick.
" I'll kill her.
You've still one left.
Oh.
[Chuckles.]
Can I read it to you? "We've been together, my dear wife, "through all the pains and strains of life.
"And still together, we will ride serene into the eventide.
" "With love from Robert.
" [Sniffles.]
Hang on.
I knew it was soppy, but I didn't expect the full waterworks.
I can't bear all this.
I'm not a 60, and I never will be.
I'm not a senior citizen, and I'm not joining any club.
No.
No, you're right.
Never.
If I'm an old-age pensioner, where's my pension? Married women don't get one.
I get one for us both when I'm 65.
I worked before we were married.
8 years I paid national insurance stamps.
It doesn't count.
8 years isn't enough.
You have to do 10 for a pension of your own.
If I'd known that then, I'd have kept you waiting two more.
SoIt doesn't count.
Well, let me tell you, Robert, If you like.
I may start by getting a job.
10p change.
Thank you.
Man: You're ignorant! Second man: Please, politeness costs nothing! Do you think you can get away with it? I gave you bloody money for 20.
You gave me a packet of 10! Understand? Savvy? Please! Please! Speak the bloody English? My wife is in delicate condition! Just a minute.
Just a minute.
Here.
They don't take pesetas in this shop.
Now, out.
[Door opens, then closes.]
I rang earlier.
You need help.
Oh, yes, of course.
I can do 3 afternoons a week to start with.
[Woman groans.]
[Man speaking softly.]
I'm not too happy about this signature.
She's an old lady.
She's ill, ain't she? Problem with her legs.
She lives above us.
We collect her pension.
Then we do her shopping.
Hetty: She ought to get out more.
She'll lose the use of those legs.
She can't get out.
We're in every week.
We've never had any trouble.
I'll be with you in a moment.
No hurry.
Have you any identification? You're not living in the modern world.
Folk like us don't have identification.
Driving license? Man: I must have left it in the glove compartment of the Mercedes.
Birth certificate? You were both born, I take it.
Hey, you! I'll come back when you're less busy.
Back in a minute.
Gotcha! What are you doing? Making a citizen's arrest.
Look at that.
Children in need.
How could you? I'm a child.
I'm in need.
I was just speeding up the procedure.
What's your name? Mickey mouse.
Don't be cheeky.
Where do you live? Oh! 10 downing street! Come back here! [Indistinct.]
[Scanner beeping.]
Pen, please.
And paper.
"Checkout number 2 3:30 P.
M.
, Thursday.
" I'm on my way home at the moment.
I'll talk to the police in the morning.
Now, put those through, and I'll pay for them.
I need this job.
Sorry.
Something's come up.
Excuse me, father.
I'll bring it back.
Hello.
All right now, is he? [Indistinct.]
Robert: There's a lad outside hovering.
Hovering? Is he up to no good, do you reckon? Should I call the police-- neighborhood watch kind of thing? The twitchy velour curtains across the road have probably done that already.
He's come by bike.
Could be for charity-- sponsored hovering.
Just let him hover, Robert.
He's still there.
Hmm? He's just a lad--waiflike.
I'd better have a word with him.
[Door opens.]
Hey! Come here.
Now, what are you up to? I just want to know why, for something as daft as what I did, you'd get me a police record and add me to the millions of unemployed.
Stealing is wrong.
What would happen if everybody went around grabbing what they wanted? Some don't need to, do they? Not when they're retired and on a pension.
Sorry.
I am not on a pension.
You're comfortable, though, aren't you? Not at this minute, I'm not.
Come on in.
Parents? Divorced.
I live on my own.
Robert: Ymca sort of thing? Church army? Bed-sit, and lucky to get it.
Communal toilet and a dodgy electric kettle.
It's a bit of a dump, but I don't grumble.
Your mother threw you out? I left.
My choice, ok? You'd better sleep in the spare room tonight.
Eh? I've got something I want to talk to him about in the morning.
Are we sure? I better get back, thank you.
I might run off in the middle of the night with all your savings.
What's that, then, Mrs.
Wainthropp? I think there's a fraud going on at our post office.
Unemployed couple-- man and wife.
They cash their social security checks with us, but lately they've come in with an old lady's pension book, and they've been cashing that as well.
Who's the old lady? Someone local? Never seen her.
Has your boss seen her? He says we all look alike to him.
He's not bothered.
But I'm bothered.
I don't like mysteries.
I think you do.
Cheeky monkey.
They say the old lady lives above them.
Now, I want to know where that is.
What do you want me to do? You followed me.
You can follow them.
They're in again next Tuesday afternoon.
Can you get time off? What option have I got? I'm not blackmailing you, Geoffrey.
Do it for the interest.
Next Tuesday, then? And, Geoffrey, that cycle's to go back where it came from.
There's not so many churches in town you can't find a vicar that's lost his transport.
He'll not be pleased.
Makes no odds.
He's bound to forgive.
It's in the job description.
They left something behind.
[Door closes.]
[Crunching sound.]
[Door closes.]
[Grunting.]
There's no need to be frightened.
No, no.
I wouldn't bother with parcel post.
Send it first class and hang the expense.
4 pounds 70.
You get what you pay for in this world.
Thank you, Geoffrey.
See you at 6:30.
She put that on herself, did she? From the inside? Open the door.
Woman: You're not going any further.
That smell's unhealthy.
Did you kill her? Don't be stupid.
I asked a question.
We did not.
We found the old woman dead on the steps.
We put her inside where she lived and used her pension book.
Well, what's the harm in that? People like us have to do what we can to make a living.
[Siren.]
You didn't have to call the police.
I didn't.
They've just arrived.
There's nothing for them to find but the body.
Yeah.
I'll watch and brief, sir.
Wilco.
Must have been that man that stopped me in the alley.
Who called the police? Right.
Are you sure that all you told him was that you were working for the lady in the post office? And that you were suspicious of a pension fraud, and I was just checking out where they lived.
He must have come and looked for himself.
I find that interesting, Geoffrey, don't you? I do if you do, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
That poor woman.
She wasn't much older than me.
Hetty: I'm disappointed in the photo.
It's not my best angle.
You'd think they'd take more trouble.
Though it's made a very favorable impression around us.
Robert: Aye.
A man came from dorset to shake her hand.
Brought his own video camera.
Nobody took my photo.
You weren't there.
You should have asked for time off.
We'll take this.
You've got 4 at home already.
We'll send them to Australia to Derek and the children.
Let that wife of his see what kind of mettle her mother-in-law's made of.
Oh, I'll have some of those bananas.
They'll be fresher than the ones on display.
You know, there were aspects of that inquest I didn't care for at all.
Oh, you mean the coroner cut you off a bit short? There was no interest shown in how that old lady died.
Doctor gave evidence.
Cranial something.
She fell on the stairs and died of her injuries.
But did she fall, or was she pushed? Oh, kiwifruit.
There was a recipe on TV.
[Sigh.]
What about that man that grabbed Geoffrey? If it was him phoned the police, why wasn't he called to give evidence? There's something here that doesn't add up.
Hetty likes things to add up.
I better get on.
I really enjoyed working with you.
If anything similar comes up, I'd like to help.
Could be sooner than you think.
Would you mind? Oh! [Sigh.]
Robert.
Robert.
Huh? Uh I've been lying here thinking.
It's all been going round and round in my head.
It's not 6:00 yet.
Listen, and you may learn something.
I have natural aptitudes, Robert.
Can we go back to sleep now for a bit? I'm wasted in that post office.
Oh, you're giving it up? I'm glad.
You're right.
You're You're totally wasted in such a trivial occupation.
A woman's place is in the home.
You said yourself I like making things add up; never satisfied until I reach the truth.
Those were your very words.
I'm not always right, by no means.
I mean, what does that coroner know? I was the one who discovered the fraud.
I'm a natural detective, Robert.
Meant to be, just as you said.
I did not.
I did not.
You must do what you're called to do in this life.
If you don't follow your star, you'll never hit the jackpot.
Post office work does not extend me.
You're a valued member of staff.
They rely on you.
I was meant for better.
I've found my calling, Robert Hetty Wainthropp, private eye.
There's 50% off on the small ads in the record this week.
I could put one in while they still remember who I am.
My wife.
That's your calling.
I shall rely on you for advice and encouragement.
Hmm.
And I'd better get one of those books out of the library, see how the professionals do it.
And I shall need a devoted sidekick.
They all have them.
He'll have to do.
I've nobody else.
Geoffrey? I need an assistant.
Sexton Blake had his tinker bell, and so shall I.
Tinker bell was a fairy.
Be that as it may, you're elected.
How do I get paid? Same way as me: Out of the profits.
What profits? There'll be plenty of pickings when we get our first clients.
I'm having cards printed.
In the meantime, we'd best get our hand in by clearing up this bag lady business.
Dinnertime, we'll start in the market.
Of course I knew her.
We all knew her.
How long had she been coming here? 6 weeks; Longer.
She'd bring her little bits and pieces and sit in that doorway and watch the people.
Kids used to mock her, shout after her, like.
Why? She was a bit hairy-- no more than some I've seen.
And you didn't know her name? Nobody knew her name.
I did.
Mary nabley.
Does that mean anything to you? Nothing.
And these bits and pieces-- what were they? Carrier bags.
All her worldly goods.
Like a snail, she carried them with her.
So why should anyone want to kill her? From what I've heard, she fell.
It's more than we need, but if you want information, you must expect to pay.
What have you found out? Not a lot.
They all remember her.
They know nowt about her.
Same with me.
Interesting.
Glad you think so.
Was it worth the price of the fish? To know that others do not know, Geoffrey, is already to know more than they know.
Just a minute.
I've had an idea.
Where do you folks sleep at night? Doesn't Mr.
Wainthropp's bike have a lock and chain of its own? There's no occasion.
These days, with his hemorrhoids, he hardly uses it.
The detectives I've heard of drive powerful cars up and down the freeway.
When we're in profit, I'll take lessons.
Now Here.
[Snoring.]
[Coughing.]
I'm sorry to disturb you.
Haven't you done enough? You knew you'd be found out.
Why? Nobody ever came there.
That old lady's pension made the world of difference to Wayne and me.
We'd never have robbed her, but we couldn't let it go to waste.
What was in her carrier bags? Nothing.
Anything.
Just stuff she'd collected.
There's people like that.
Crazy people.
They get attached to things.
Was she crazy? I don't know.
We hardly spoke.
She was a bit Superior.
One of them posh voices.
Quite nice, though.
Wayne used to see her down at the reference library.
She wasn't there just to get out of the cold like some of them-- not her.
She was actually studying.
What else did you find in the bags? Nothing valuable.
I don't believe that.
There must have been letters, photos, mementos.
There was a photo Of a young lad in a silver frame.
We threw the photo away and sold the frame.
Hetty: Oh.
One more.
Thank you.
Oh, yes.
"Of no fixed abode," they said.
She had an accommodation address, but where did she really come from? She may have had children, grandchildren.
They'd want to know what happened to her.
I have a public duty-- Robert: Coffee's up.
Thank you, Robert.
Maybe some of your readers can assist me with my inquiries.
Man: We can't have this.
No, sir.
What exactly do you want me to do, sir? Use your initiative, brown.
Play it by ear.
Yes, sir.
All I'm asking for is information.
We do the asking, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I need information.
That's my speciality.
Sign here, please.
What is it? Business cards.
Bill's in the box.
You were at the inquest, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
She slipped on the stone stairs and hit her head.
Who was she? A bag lady.
That's not an answer.
Mary nabley of number 19, high-- I've been there.
It's a mucky magazine shop, not a home.
Of course it is.
If she'd had a home, she'd have been living in it.
Can homeless people usually afford to pay for accommodation addresses? She was a homeless person in receipt of a pension, Mrs.
Wainthropp, to draw which she required an address.
A shop like that would charge her about a pound a week-- well worth the expense for the old lady to draw 60-odd pound in pension.
Have you an idea how our society works? Mollusks.
There's nothing specialized here-- just the encyclopaedia britannica and a field guide or two.
She soon got through those, so we used to get her books from the city library, let her take them into the reading room.
She could have taken them back to her place.
She said she had too much respect for books to take them to the dump where she lived.
What are mollusks, exactly? Mollusks? Oh, whelks, cockles, mussels.
There's lots.
I'd like to see the officer in charge of the case.
There is no case, Mrs.
Wainthropp, because no crime has been committed except the crime of pension fraud, which is being dealt with through the usual channels.
I'll see you out.
Robert: How many? Hetty: 500.
500? It was cheaper if you had a lot done at once.
But who's to pay for them? And then there's Geoffrey.
He's deferring his wages until we're in profit.
Oh, and they'll defer the rent on his room, will they? They'll defer payment where he buys his groceries, will they? Or have you sent him off thieving chocolates again? Let the dead past bury the dead, Robert.
How much have you been giving him? A little.
Nowt to speak of.
Expenses.
And where did you get it? My God, you've been dipping into the building society money.
It is a joint account, Robert.
Only so as you wouldn't be stranded if I dropped down dead.
We'll be paupers! We'll be living off of social security, and everyone will know! Don't you raise your voice to me! It's my redundancy money, is that, Hetty, and you know it.
We swore we'd never touch it, that we'd live on the interest till the old-age pension came due.
Now no holidays, we sold the car, yet the interest got less and less.
Now you'll squander that money on some teenage assistant! I stood in that supermarket, and I watched him shelf-stacking, and I thought, "you're better than this.
" And since we've begun asking questions, investigating It's like a flower opening.
He takes your meaning so quick.
Wh-what are you saying? There's the spare room, not used.
If he moved in with us, he'd save on his rent and his food.
We know nowt about him! You don't take strangers into your house these days, and certainly not kids.
He could be on drugs! [Telephone ringing.]
I won't have it! I live here, too, you know! [Telephone ringing.]
Oh.
Oh, yes! This is the Wainthropp detective agency.
Please describe the nature of your problem in your own words.
Now, take your time and speak slowly.
Our first client.
I knew that piece in the paper would attract attention.
Someone going to pay you for detection? A Mr.
harkness.
I'm to meet him tomorrow morning in jubilee park.
He'll wear a white carnation.
"Delicate and personal," he said.
I told him we didn't do divorce, but it's nothing of that nature.
I'm on my way.
Not in that cardigan, you're not.
Hetty: Mr.
harkness? Yes.
Are you sure you weren't followed? Who'd be following? Well, nobody, I hope.
I've taken every precaution.
Look, I'm sorry, but I'm extremely upset.
They threatened to kill her if I go to the police.
You're sure you've told nobody? There's nobody to tell.
Who have they threatened to kill? It's my daughter Tracy.
And who are "they"? I don't know.
I mean, they could be anyone.
We'd better keep on the move to avoid notice.
They won't talk on the phone.
They expect phone taps.
They insist on a meeting.
Do you want me to go with you? No.
You'll have to go alone, I'm afraid.
I can't go myself.
I have a heart condition.
You find out what they want and come back and tell me.
What about your wife? Oh, she doesn't know.
No, they phoned me at the office.
I was at my wit's end, and then I looked at your photo in the paper, and I thought, "she's the one.
" Where does your wife think Tracy is? Uh, staying with friends.
She was at this party, you see--a rave-up.
That's when they grabbed her.
Look, you've got to explain to them, Mrs.
Wainthropp, they've made a mistake.
I mean, I'm not a rich man.
They must have got me confused with someone else of the same name.
I think we're being watched.
Pretend to admire the fountain.
Are you sure it's a real kidnap, Mr.
harkness? Couldn't it just be Tracy and her friends making the whole thing up to get money out of you? That is a despicable suggestion.
Of course, I'm not sure.
That's one of the things I want you to find out.
150 in notes, with the directions how to get there.
There'll be another 150 when you come back.
How do I get in touch with you? You don't.
I'll phone you from a public box.
Safer.
Now, remember, they'll be expecting you, and there'll be nobody else there.
You'll be in no danger if you don't start anything.
I shan't start anything.
How are you going to get there? It's a long way out.
Please don't concern yourself, Mr.
harkness.
I have my own transport.
[Engine sputtering.]
What about the old bag lady? First things first.
What we're doing tonight, there's real money involved.
We'll have to put Mary nabley on a back burner for a bit.
Geoffrey, can you assure me that you have not stolen this vehicle? Borrowed it from a friend.
And you're licensed to drive? You keep forgetting, Mrs.
Wainthropp, I'm 17.
I used to deliver pizzas for a chain, but it broke.
Ha ha! Dead end.
This'll be it.
I think we'd better walk from here.
Geoffrey: There's a light.
I'm expected.
I'll go on in.
Hide our transport in the bushes, then follow me.
I want you to keep me under constant observation.
What happens if they kidnap you as well? Start a diversion.
[Knocking on door.]
Hetty: Anybody home? It's Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I've come on behalf of my client Mr.
harkness.
[Soft crying.]
Hello? Hello! Is there anybody up there? Tracy, is that you? [Soft crying.]
Don't be worried.
I'm a friend.
[Creaking.]
Aah! Geoffrey! Geoffrey! Mrs.
Wainthropp! Mrs.
Wainthropp, where are you? I'm up here! Help! Mrs.
Wainthropp! I'll drop the torch.
Hang on.
All right.
I'm coming up.
Mind how you go.
This place is booby-trapped.
Stay still, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
It's not safe.
Who's that crying? Tape recorder.
The bleating of the goat excites the tiger.
Oh, aye? Come on, Geoffrey, do something.
Wouldn't it be better if you just dropped? If I drop, you're fired.
[Gunshot on TV.]
Huh? There'll be somebody along soon.
They won't leave this tape recorder for the police to find.
Blow the candle out, Geoffrey.
That'll confuse them.
There's somebody along now.
Quick, out the back way.
The candle's gone out.
Right.
[Tape stops.]
That was the man who grabbed me at the mill.
That's interesting.
He was also Mr.
harkness.
Now, where's that scooter? Over there.
Well, I don't know where she is.
She didn't say.
She'll be home sometime, I suppose.
Who shall I say called? [Caller hangs up.]
Cheers.
Lovely.
We may be out of our depth, Geoffrey.
Made 150 quid out of it, though, didn't we? There's more to life than money.
Like staying alive.
We've got to get out of this bag lady case-- drop it and find a way of letting them know, whoever "they" are.
We're not quitters, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Yes, we are.
I have a responsibility to your mother.
Oh, she's not too bothered anyway.
There'll be other cases.
"Never close a file," you said.
I'm closing this one.
We have to, Geoffrey.
We've blundered into something.
I don't know what, but whatever it is They tried to kill me tonight.
If you hadn't been there-- but I was.
We'll speak to the police.
Attempted murder.
They'll have to investigate.
This is as far as I am prepared to go.
She's been in before, sir.
Eccentric.
There was a piece in the record.
Hmm.
Did you look at her arms? Sir? If she fell through the ceiling, she'd be marked.
I could have been killed! Oh, I don't think so.
A broken ankle would have been more likely.
Allow me to introduce myself-- detective chief inspector Adams.
Adams: And this Mr.
harkness gave you 150 pounds in used notes and a bit of torn wrapping paper with directions written out in capital letters? Hetty: That's right.
We were there.
It happened to us.
We're witnesses.
A teenager and a pensioner? Excuse me.
They'd make mincemeat of both of you in court.
Not that it could ever come to that, with no suspects and no proof of crime.
There's proof of one thing.
Somebody's trying to get me to back away from the bag lady case.
If you don't believe us, why did you come? Old buildings interest me.
Oh, aye? Did you suffer any bruising? Bruising? Here.
Thank you, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Shall we go? People think the police can investigate anything.
We're a public service, chronically short of cash.
Broadly speaking, we investigate only two sorts of crime: What we can't avoid and what we think we can clear up.
Are you with me? I'm ahead of you.
You tell me people are trying to kill you because you've been poking your nose into the old lady's death.
It's unprovable, a waste of public money to give you more than a few soothing words.
But suppose you suffered an unfortunate accident after making this complaint? We'd have to take it seriously.
Are you still ahead of me? Catching up.
I don't think you'll be bothered again unless you turn up something really important-- in which case, I want to know.
Agreed.
If it was me dabbling in such an unlikely affair, I'd start by trying to find out who Mary nabley was and where she came from.
She must have a family somewhere.
I hope you're insured and licensed to drive that vehicle, young man.
Woman: There was a photo of a young lad in a silver frame.
We threw the photo away and sold the frame.
[Knock on door.]
Oh, hello, Geoffrey.
I wish she wouldn't call these breakfast meetings.
If David frost can do it, Hetty can do it.
Now, we have to know where we are before we can go where we're going, right? If you say so, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
First, we know there's a cover-up.
It's in high places, and it goes deep.
Can it do both of those simultaneously, like? They tried to kill me, Robert.
Just remember that.
It'll keep you serious.
Second, we've two clues.
One is mollusks.
You what? Cockles, uh, whelks, and such.
There's all sorts.
What was it about whelks That made Mary nabley take off like that and leave her home? She found something out, and that information was dangerous.
People don't care about whelks.
Not all that keen on them myself.
Whatever it was, my theory is that she lived where they abound.
So first, the mollusk connection.
And second This photo, found in Mary nabley's belongings.
And what does the trained eye immediately notice? Can you be going to tell us? Study the suit, Robert.
Your brother Frank had a suit like that.
Right.
He did.
Demob suit.
Good cloth is that.
He wore it to funerals.
Late 1940s, then.
I never got one.
Did my national service, but you had to be in the war.
Somebody in his early 20s in the late forties, now in his 60s--her age.
I wonder what that bit of fur means.
You miss a lot by not being educated.
Robert and me never had the chance.
And you haven't taken advantage of your opportunities, Geoffrey.
What opportunities? But as my auntie bea used to say, "if you don't know, there's others do.
" Excuse me.
Do you mind telling me where the shellfish come from? A wholesaler.
No, before that.
Oh, I get your drift.
The sea.
And rocks and sand.
They hide in sand until harvested.
No.
What I mean B.
A.
, Oxford.
Good.
Are we gonna eat all these? Not the ones from Taiwan.
Wayne's done a runner.
I've just seen Sandy.
Here.
Pay for these, Robert.
I told you, she had nothing-- no clue to who she was.
Did you never talk to her? Hardly.
You said she had a posh voice.
You must have spoken sometimes.
Sandy: Well, her and me, we'd meet in the-- there was a toilet in the mill.
No running water, but it was somewhere to sit.
We'd meet there sometimes, pass the time of day.
She kept a little pile of newspapers cut into squares, and we'd collect water from the canal to flush the bowl.
Show me this toilet.
You what? Some of those bits of newspaper could have been local Where she came from.
Nothing local.
"Times" and "telegraph," mostly.
Are we done in here now? Educated, posh voice, laid down the law in the reference library, had class.
Must have had valuables.
No.
I don't mean that bit of unspent money from her pension.
You'd have taken that.
But the things middle-class folk can't live without-- checkbook, credit cards.
Must have brought those.
I told you, she had nothing.
Do you think Wayne and me would have wasted a credit card? She'd nowhere to hide it, but she must have hidden it anyway.
Where? No running water, you said? Geoffrey, look in the cistern.
Bingo! We'll look at it later.
No offense intended.
[Clacking sound.]
What's that? Starting at shadows.
Gets to you, this job.
Keswick.
Nowhere near the sea.
What's in that packet? A computer disk.
Not much good to us.
We haven't got a computer.
We wouldn't know how to use it if we had.
Don't be daft.
They have them in primary schools these days.
Little children play with them.
Not where I went to school.
Nobody was computer-literate or in any way.
The spelling of 4-letter words gave us trouble.
That'll do.
Better keep it safe till we find someone who knows how to use it.
Well, at least we know where she had her bank account.
That's somewhere to start.
Man: I want a word with you.
Right.
They let me look in the phone book.
Mary nabley lived in a village at the end of the Dale.
Bus service only runs twice a week.
Ah.
How's your thumb, Geoffrey? Seems all right to me.
Are you sure this is the right one? Lilac cottage.
It's that other one looks as though the owner's done a runner.
Hetty: Oh.
Is Mary nabley at home? No, she's out.
Who wants her? Mrs.
Wainthropp And associate.
When will she be back? I'm not quite sure.
Who am I speaking to? And what business is that of yours? I'll ask the questions.
Who am I speaking to? I'm her nephew.
I'm looking after her cottage while she's away.
If you have any information about where she is, I'd be glad to know it.
Mary nabley died in suspicious circumstances a month ago.
My colleague and I are detectives investigating the case.
Well, you'd better come in.
Who used to live in that house over there? Man: Piddock holme? The, um, whole building went up in flames, and somehow Professor fisher was trapped inside.
It was at night.
He was burned to death without anyone realizing what was happening.
Somehow? Sorry? Could somebody have locked him in? I--I don't see why anyone should.
There was an open verdict at the inquest.
What do the neighbors say? My aunt was his nearest neighbor.
And she's dead, too.
In suspicious circumstances, you said? She fell and hit her head.
Well, that's hardly suspicious.
It is when you don't know how it happened.
This open verdict on the Professor-- could have been an accident, might have been suicide, even murder.
There's no reason why anyone should want to murder Professor fisher and none why he should take his own life.
You know that, do you? Well Your aunt must have had something to say at that inquest.
She must have heard something, seen something, a fire like that.
She wasn't at the inquest.
She went away.
It The police were rather annoyed.
We thought it was because Well, she was rather fond of him, you see.
Then why didn't she stay and help the coroner find out how he died? Well, surely that's not hard to understand.
If one's emotionally involved, standing up there in public, answering questions-- she was a shy, sensitive woman.
So shy and sensitive that she ran away, lived rough, and got herself killed just to avoid an inquest? I find that very hard to believe.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, I was totally unaware of my aunt's death until you told me just now.
Now, I'm extremely grateful to you for letting the family know, but it's hardly my business or yours to investigate.
What was Mr.
fisher a Professor of? He was retired-- a retired Professor.
And before he retired? Some sort of biologist, I think.
Good-bye, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Well, we know where to find you.
It's obvious she knows nothing.
We'll still have to keep her under observation, though.
What's to observe? I hate these messy cases.
"Piddock holme.
" There's 3 kinds of piddock altogether.
They burrow into rock.
Mollusks? What she was studying in the reference library.
Burned to death in his own shed? That was never an accident, Geoffrey.
And then she ran off soon after and took that computer thing with her.
Bit fishy, eh, Mrs.
Wainthropp? Now, then.
We'd better ask about.
There's a pub on the main street.
There's better sources of reliable information in a village than a lot of old men sipping beer in a pub.
Anyway, we have to find somewhere to spend the night.
Woman: Well, he was a funny man, the Professor.
He took against that biochemicals place that they built on melon hill and whipped up the village people.
Did they go along with him? Not the old families, no.
We need the jobs.
It was newcomers, mostly.
"Doomsday scenario," he said-- pollution of the water, no telling where it would lead.
There was talk of going to the law, but it came to nothing.
He went a bit funny after.
How funny? Well, there's a place just below melon hill where the outflow from the factory comes into the lake.
He'd go there every day come rain or shine, and he'd bring back freshwater shrimps and mussels and such.
Mollusks? Like a child with [Indistinct.]
.
He wanted them for his experiments, I suppose, but it looked odd.
And then, I mean, he wasn't a man for pets, but he got himself a couple of dogs-- couple of beagles, a dog and a bitch.
Don't know if he was going to breed them.
Ducks--although he'd no experience with poultry-- and a couple of goats to keep the grass down.
Mary nabley.
Oh, she helped him.
What happened to the dogs? Couple of rspca took them away in a van after the accident.
If it was an accident.
You don't think it was? Animal liberation front.
Everybody knew that, but nobody could prove it.
How do you know they were the rspca? Well, they said they were.
A funny thing: Lily pirrin down the road wanted to take the goats, and they wouldn't allow it.
This place he used to go to, where the outflow is-- can you tell us how to get there? Oh, I'll show you.
Gerry, get the map.
You can borrow a couple of bikes, and I'll put you up a nice packed lunch.
What happened to the ducks? Oh, better not to ask.
He'd come out here with his net, pick up a load of freshwater shrimps, and take them back to his laboratory.
Suddenly, one night, they all go up in flames.
Why? You heard Gerry.
The village thinks it was animal liberation front.
Someone has been feeding the village false information.
This biochemicals place is up the hill, she said.
Oh! It's not what you could call welcoming.
Yeah.
We'd better go back.
I've not climbed all this way to give up the moment I get to the top.
Hello? Excuse me! Can I have a word? Do you mind? What goes on in here, exactly? If you were an authorized person, madam, you wouldn't need to ask.
Now, on your way, both of you.
Politeness costs nothing.
We're not doing any harm.
Tell me, was Professor fisher an authorized person? Security gate to base.
I think we'd best be off now, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Animal liberation front.
Some folk would believe anything.
Why should animal liberators bother with a few shrimps in a shed at the bottom of a garden? You can never tell.
There was a girl at our school joined them, and she went round releasing bait from fishing tackle shops.
Something from that place was affecting those mollusks.
That's what the Professor was studying, and that's what's on the computer disk.
Something in the water? Has to be.
There's things you read about in the papers-- kiddies born with no eyes, leukemia and such.
I don't read them bits.
You have to sometimes, Geoffrey.
We'll have to look at what's on that disk.
Robert could ask at the school again.
We can look at it in the village.
Gerry at the b and b-- she'll know someone.
We can't read it.
Why not? It's a computer.
I haven't got the software.
Frogspawn--I've never even heard of it.
You see, a computer's just a machine, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
You have to give it instructions before it'll work.
That's called the software.
Comes on a disk like this one.
The Professor was a marine biologist.
He'd have had specialist software.
Could the police find it? Probably, but if he didn't want anyone to read the file, he'd have encrypted it.
You still couldn't get in without a password.
Scientists.
They've no consideration.
There isn't a "for sale" sign outside piddock holme, and yet nobody lives there.
Oh, some company from London bought it.
I wonder how they knew.
What, about him dying? It was in the papers.
Well, if I'd read in the paper about a Professor burning to death, I wouldn't put in an offer for his house straight off.
Had he any family? Oh, yeah.
Down South somewhere.
So have they moved all his things out of the house, then? No.
How do you know? Gerry: It's this way.
That's interesting.
Geoffrey: Must be that nephew.
Gerry: He's gone back to town.
There's nobody in the house.
You could have fooled me.
Ok, it's open.
Quick as you can.
I wish I knew what I was looking for.
Gerry? Just 3 10-pound notes so far.
He's used them to mark his place and then forgot.
I found the study, but all the computer disks are gone and all the papers.
There's summat funny here.
All his music-- tapes and cds-- it's classical, Beethoven and stuff, apart from this one-- "the very best of the bee gees.
" Ugh.
Let's hear it.
I'm going back to Massachusetts you have to admit it's got a certain old-fashioned charm.
That's music.
That's real music.
[Music stops.]
Man: You've asked me, "what is the safety level on the presence of these hormones in the food chain?" And I must tell you that there is no safety level, no matter what the experts say, because we simply do not know.
Rehearsing a speech.
And we cannot know until the damage has already been done, unless we begin now to conduct the most stringent tests on a wide variety of animal species, including our own.
[Music resumes.]
[Tape stops.]
Then he did find something then, with those experiments.
And then someone found him.
I've been thinking, Geoffrey, about that light we saw on the way in.
Remember what I said to you when they set that trap for me-- the kidnapped girl in the cottage? The bleating of the goat Excites the tiger.
Right.
And the flicker of the candle flame attracts the moth.
What do we do? Wait for moths.
Come on.
You'll see.
Hey! Get off me! [Indistinct shouting.]
Now, let's take a good look at you.
Geoffrey? That'll teach you.
You stupid woman.
You've got some explaining to do.
"Use your initiative.
" They never say what they really mean.
You have to work it out for yourself.
"Take care of her.
" How? Oh, it's up to me, the man on the ground.
That's what they pay for.
They don't want to be bothered.
Don't want to know my troubles.
And now? He won't be pleased.
You're not working for the government, then? I have worked for the security services.
There's so much privatization these days, you'd be surprised what I get asked to do.
But not this time? No, not as far as I know.
I think I'd better make an appointment to see this boss of yours.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, Mr.
Shawcross, how very good of you to come.
Sir Peter will see you at once, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I'll try to make Mr.
Shawcross comfortable in here.
Mrs.
Wainthropp has arrived, sir Peter.
Sir Peter: Thank you, Caroline.
Do come with me.
Sir Peter: Well, Mrs.
Wainthropp, you've been putting the cat among the pigeons, I hear.
Do sit down, Mr.
Shawcross.
Thanks.
There was nothing in the water-- nothing to worry anyone.
It worried the Professor.
He was a crank.
Before any wastewater leaves our plant, it's tested for everything you can think of.
It's always well below eec safety levels.
So there wasn't a cover-up about the water.
There wasn't a cover-up about anything.
Oh, yes, there was.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, I don't know where your vivid imagination has been leading you.
Did you really believe that sinister secret agents set fire to the Professor's laboratory and murdered an old lady who knew too much? It's a possibility.
Well, it didn't happen in this case.
What did happen To Mary nabley? She fell on the steps and hit her head.
They got it right at the inquest.
She wasn't pushed.
She fell.
Shall we make ourselves more comfortable? Tell me if I'm right, sir Peter.
The Professor believed that nobody can say for sure what's safe until the damage has been done.
He collected shrimps and such from the outflow to your plant and ground them up into a sort of paste.
He bought a couple of beagles-- a dog and a bitch-- and fed it to them.
Two goats, a Billy and a nanny-- goats will eat anything-- and ducks, and he took some himself.
And he gave some to Mary nabley.
Probably told her they were vitamins.
Mr.
brown seems to have been remarkably indiscreet.
Oh, I didn't get all this from Mr.
brown.
I worked some of it out for myself.
Mollusks.
They change sex if they're interfered with.
We got all that from the encyclopedia.
They say in the market that Mary nabley had facial hair.
Old women often do.
When she found out what he was doing to her, she killed him.
She locked him in that shed with his shrimps and set fire to it.
She may not have known that he was in there.
She may have just wanted to burn the shed.
And then she ran away, taking a few personal belongings with her-- including this.
May I? She was my sister.
Mary nabley? Yes.
So that was the cover-up.
Protecting yourself from what your sister had done.
Might have done.
But the press would have had a field day.
It could have ruined this company, done quite a bit of harm to the country generally-- jobs lost, exports lost.
Just a minute.
You tried to have me killed.
Are you saying that was to save jobs? I fear Mr.
brown exceeded his instructions.
He certainly did.
The inconvenience will be reflected in the size of your fee.
Excuse me.
Caroline? His sister.
Well, there you are, Geoffrey-- families.
Who are you? Woman: "Welcome to the club.
" Violets and a poodle.
What am I meant to be joining? Crafts? "From one seasoned senior citizen "to a new arrival.
Esther chadwick.
" I'll kill her.
You've still one left.
Oh.
[Chuckles.]
Can I read it to you? "We've been together, my dear wife, "through all the pains and strains of life.
"And still together, we will ride serene into the eventide.
" "With love from Robert.
" [Sniffles.]
Hang on.
I knew it was soppy, but I didn't expect the full waterworks.
I can't bear all this.
I'm not a 60, and I never will be.
I'm not a senior citizen, and I'm not joining any club.
No.
No, you're right.
Never.
If I'm an old-age pensioner, where's my pension? Married women don't get one.
I get one for us both when I'm 65.
I worked before we were married.
8 years I paid national insurance stamps.
It doesn't count.
8 years isn't enough.
You have to do 10 for a pension of your own.
If I'd known that then, I'd have kept you waiting two more.
SoIt doesn't count.
Well, let me tell you, Robert, If you like.
I may start by getting a job.
10p change.
Thank you.
Man: You're ignorant! Second man: Please, politeness costs nothing! Do you think you can get away with it? I gave you bloody money for 20.
You gave me a packet of 10! Understand? Savvy? Please! Please! Speak the bloody English? My wife is in delicate condition! Just a minute.
Just a minute.
Here.
They don't take pesetas in this shop.
Now, out.
[Door opens, then closes.]
I rang earlier.
You need help.
Oh, yes, of course.
I can do 3 afternoons a week to start with.
[Woman groans.]
[Man speaking softly.]
I'm not too happy about this signature.
She's an old lady.
She's ill, ain't she? Problem with her legs.
She lives above us.
We collect her pension.
Then we do her shopping.
Hetty: She ought to get out more.
She'll lose the use of those legs.
She can't get out.
We're in every week.
We've never had any trouble.
I'll be with you in a moment.
No hurry.
Have you any identification? You're not living in the modern world.
Folk like us don't have identification.
Driving license? Man: I must have left it in the glove compartment of the Mercedes.
Birth certificate? You were both born, I take it.
Hey, you! I'll come back when you're less busy.
Back in a minute.
Gotcha! What are you doing? Making a citizen's arrest.
Look at that.
Children in need.
How could you? I'm a child.
I'm in need.
I was just speeding up the procedure.
What's your name? Mickey mouse.
Don't be cheeky.
Where do you live? Oh! 10 downing street! Come back here! [Indistinct.]
[Scanner beeping.]
Pen, please.
And paper.
"Checkout number 2 3:30 P.
M.
, Thursday.
" I'm on my way home at the moment.
I'll talk to the police in the morning.
Now, put those through, and I'll pay for them.
I need this job.
Sorry.
Something's come up.
Excuse me, father.
I'll bring it back.
Hello.
All right now, is he? [Indistinct.]
Robert: There's a lad outside hovering.
Hovering? Is he up to no good, do you reckon? Should I call the police-- neighborhood watch kind of thing? The twitchy velour curtains across the road have probably done that already.
He's come by bike.
Could be for charity-- sponsored hovering.
Just let him hover, Robert.
He's still there.
Hmm? He's just a lad--waiflike.
I'd better have a word with him.
[Door opens.]
Hey! Come here.
Now, what are you up to? I just want to know why, for something as daft as what I did, you'd get me a police record and add me to the millions of unemployed.
Stealing is wrong.
What would happen if everybody went around grabbing what they wanted? Some don't need to, do they? Not when they're retired and on a pension.
Sorry.
I am not on a pension.
You're comfortable, though, aren't you? Not at this minute, I'm not.
Come on in.
Parents? Divorced.
I live on my own.
Robert: Ymca sort of thing? Church army? Bed-sit, and lucky to get it.
Communal toilet and a dodgy electric kettle.
It's a bit of a dump, but I don't grumble.
Your mother threw you out? I left.
My choice, ok? You'd better sleep in the spare room tonight.
Eh? I've got something I want to talk to him about in the morning.
Are we sure? I better get back, thank you.
I might run off in the middle of the night with all your savings.
What's that, then, Mrs.
Wainthropp? I think there's a fraud going on at our post office.
Unemployed couple-- man and wife.
They cash their social security checks with us, but lately they've come in with an old lady's pension book, and they've been cashing that as well.
Who's the old lady? Someone local? Never seen her.
Has your boss seen her? He says we all look alike to him.
He's not bothered.
But I'm bothered.
I don't like mysteries.
I think you do.
Cheeky monkey.
They say the old lady lives above them.
Now, I want to know where that is.
What do you want me to do? You followed me.
You can follow them.
They're in again next Tuesday afternoon.
Can you get time off? What option have I got? I'm not blackmailing you, Geoffrey.
Do it for the interest.
Next Tuesday, then? And, Geoffrey, that cycle's to go back where it came from.
There's not so many churches in town you can't find a vicar that's lost his transport.
He'll not be pleased.
Makes no odds.
He's bound to forgive.
It's in the job description.
They left something behind.
[Door closes.]
[Crunching sound.]
[Door closes.]
[Grunting.]
There's no need to be frightened.
No, no.
I wouldn't bother with parcel post.
Send it first class and hang the expense.
4 pounds 70.
You get what you pay for in this world.
Thank you, Geoffrey.
See you at 6:30.
She put that on herself, did she? From the inside? Open the door.
Woman: You're not going any further.
That smell's unhealthy.
Did you kill her? Don't be stupid.
I asked a question.
We did not.
We found the old woman dead on the steps.
We put her inside where she lived and used her pension book.
Well, what's the harm in that? People like us have to do what we can to make a living.
[Siren.]
You didn't have to call the police.
I didn't.
They've just arrived.
There's nothing for them to find but the body.
Yeah.
I'll watch and brief, sir.
Wilco.
Must have been that man that stopped me in the alley.
Who called the police? Right.
Are you sure that all you told him was that you were working for the lady in the post office? And that you were suspicious of a pension fraud, and I was just checking out where they lived.
He must have come and looked for himself.
I find that interesting, Geoffrey, don't you? I do if you do, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
That poor woman.
She wasn't much older than me.
Hetty: I'm disappointed in the photo.
It's not my best angle.
You'd think they'd take more trouble.
Though it's made a very favorable impression around us.
Robert: Aye.
A man came from dorset to shake her hand.
Brought his own video camera.
Nobody took my photo.
You weren't there.
You should have asked for time off.
We'll take this.
You've got 4 at home already.
We'll send them to Australia to Derek and the children.
Let that wife of his see what kind of mettle her mother-in-law's made of.
Oh, I'll have some of those bananas.
They'll be fresher than the ones on display.
You know, there were aspects of that inquest I didn't care for at all.
Oh, you mean the coroner cut you off a bit short? There was no interest shown in how that old lady died.
Doctor gave evidence.
Cranial something.
She fell on the stairs and died of her injuries.
But did she fall, or was she pushed? Oh, kiwifruit.
There was a recipe on TV.
[Sigh.]
What about that man that grabbed Geoffrey? If it was him phoned the police, why wasn't he called to give evidence? There's something here that doesn't add up.
Hetty likes things to add up.
I better get on.
I really enjoyed working with you.
If anything similar comes up, I'd like to help.
Could be sooner than you think.
Would you mind? Oh! [Sigh.]
Robert.
Robert.
Huh? Uh I've been lying here thinking.
It's all been going round and round in my head.
It's not 6:00 yet.
Listen, and you may learn something.
I have natural aptitudes, Robert.
Can we go back to sleep now for a bit? I'm wasted in that post office.
Oh, you're giving it up? I'm glad.
You're right.
You're You're totally wasted in such a trivial occupation.
A woman's place is in the home.
You said yourself I like making things add up; never satisfied until I reach the truth.
Those were your very words.
I'm not always right, by no means.
I mean, what does that coroner know? I was the one who discovered the fraud.
I'm a natural detective, Robert.
Meant to be, just as you said.
I did not.
I did not.
You must do what you're called to do in this life.
If you don't follow your star, you'll never hit the jackpot.
Post office work does not extend me.
You're a valued member of staff.
They rely on you.
I was meant for better.
I've found my calling, Robert Hetty Wainthropp, private eye.
There's 50% off on the small ads in the record this week.
I could put one in while they still remember who I am.
My wife.
That's your calling.
I shall rely on you for advice and encouragement.
Hmm.
And I'd better get one of those books out of the library, see how the professionals do it.
And I shall need a devoted sidekick.
They all have them.
He'll have to do.
I've nobody else.
Geoffrey? I need an assistant.
Sexton Blake had his tinker bell, and so shall I.
Tinker bell was a fairy.
Be that as it may, you're elected.
How do I get paid? Same way as me: Out of the profits.
What profits? There'll be plenty of pickings when we get our first clients.
I'm having cards printed.
In the meantime, we'd best get our hand in by clearing up this bag lady business.
Dinnertime, we'll start in the market.
Of course I knew her.
We all knew her.
How long had she been coming here? 6 weeks; Longer.
She'd bring her little bits and pieces and sit in that doorway and watch the people.
Kids used to mock her, shout after her, like.
Why? She was a bit hairy-- no more than some I've seen.
And you didn't know her name? Nobody knew her name.
I did.
Mary nabley.
Does that mean anything to you? Nothing.
And these bits and pieces-- what were they? Carrier bags.
All her worldly goods.
Like a snail, she carried them with her.
So why should anyone want to kill her? From what I've heard, she fell.
It's more than we need, but if you want information, you must expect to pay.
What have you found out? Not a lot.
They all remember her.
They know nowt about her.
Same with me.
Interesting.
Glad you think so.
Was it worth the price of the fish? To know that others do not know, Geoffrey, is already to know more than they know.
Just a minute.
I've had an idea.
Where do you folks sleep at night? Doesn't Mr.
Wainthropp's bike have a lock and chain of its own? There's no occasion.
These days, with his hemorrhoids, he hardly uses it.
The detectives I've heard of drive powerful cars up and down the freeway.
When we're in profit, I'll take lessons.
Now Here.
[Snoring.]
[Coughing.]
I'm sorry to disturb you.
Haven't you done enough? You knew you'd be found out.
Why? Nobody ever came there.
That old lady's pension made the world of difference to Wayne and me.
We'd never have robbed her, but we couldn't let it go to waste.
What was in her carrier bags? Nothing.
Anything.
Just stuff she'd collected.
There's people like that.
Crazy people.
They get attached to things.
Was she crazy? I don't know.
We hardly spoke.
She was a bit Superior.
One of them posh voices.
Quite nice, though.
Wayne used to see her down at the reference library.
She wasn't there just to get out of the cold like some of them-- not her.
She was actually studying.
What else did you find in the bags? Nothing valuable.
I don't believe that.
There must have been letters, photos, mementos.
There was a photo Of a young lad in a silver frame.
We threw the photo away and sold the frame.
Hetty: Oh.
One more.
Thank you.
Oh, yes.
"Of no fixed abode," they said.
She had an accommodation address, but where did she really come from? She may have had children, grandchildren.
They'd want to know what happened to her.
I have a public duty-- Robert: Coffee's up.
Thank you, Robert.
Maybe some of your readers can assist me with my inquiries.
Man: We can't have this.
No, sir.
What exactly do you want me to do, sir? Use your initiative, brown.
Play it by ear.
Yes, sir.
All I'm asking for is information.
We do the asking, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I need information.
That's my speciality.
Sign here, please.
What is it? Business cards.
Bill's in the box.
You were at the inquest, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
She slipped on the stone stairs and hit her head.
Who was she? A bag lady.
That's not an answer.
Mary nabley of number 19, high-- I've been there.
It's a mucky magazine shop, not a home.
Of course it is.
If she'd had a home, she'd have been living in it.
Can homeless people usually afford to pay for accommodation addresses? She was a homeless person in receipt of a pension, Mrs.
Wainthropp, to draw which she required an address.
A shop like that would charge her about a pound a week-- well worth the expense for the old lady to draw 60-odd pound in pension.
Have you an idea how our society works? Mollusks.
There's nothing specialized here-- just the encyclopaedia britannica and a field guide or two.
She soon got through those, so we used to get her books from the city library, let her take them into the reading room.
She could have taken them back to her place.
She said she had too much respect for books to take them to the dump where she lived.
What are mollusks, exactly? Mollusks? Oh, whelks, cockles, mussels.
There's lots.
I'd like to see the officer in charge of the case.
There is no case, Mrs.
Wainthropp, because no crime has been committed except the crime of pension fraud, which is being dealt with through the usual channels.
I'll see you out.
Robert: How many? Hetty: 500.
500? It was cheaper if you had a lot done at once.
But who's to pay for them? And then there's Geoffrey.
He's deferring his wages until we're in profit.
Oh, and they'll defer the rent on his room, will they? They'll defer payment where he buys his groceries, will they? Or have you sent him off thieving chocolates again? Let the dead past bury the dead, Robert.
How much have you been giving him? A little.
Nowt to speak of.
Expenses.
And where did you get it? My God, you've been dipping into the building society money.
It is a joint account, Robert.
Only so as you wouldn't be stranded if I dropped down dead.
We'll be paupers! We'll be living off of social security, and everyone will know! Don't you raise your voice to me! It's my redundancy money, is that, Hetty, and you know it.
We swore we'd never touch it, that we'd live on the interest till the old-age pension came due.
Now no holidays, we sold the car, yet the interest got less and less.
Now you'll squander that money on some teenage assistant! I stood in that supermarket, and I watched him shelf-stacking, and I thought, "you're better than this.
" And since we've begun asking questions, investigating It's like a flower opening.
He takes your meaning so quick.
Wh-what are you saying? There's the spare room, not used.
If he moved in with us, he'd save on his rent and his food.
We know nowt about him! You don't take strangers into your house these days, and certainly not kids.
He could be on drugs! [Telephone ringing.]
I won't have it! I live here, too, you know! [Telephone ringing.]
Oh.
Oh, yes! This is the Wainthropp detective agency.
Please describe the nature of your problem in your own words.
Now, take your time and speak slowly.
Our first client.
I knew that piece in the paper would attract attention.
Someone going to pay you for detection? A Mr.
harkness.
I'm to meet him tomorrow morning in jubilee park.
He'll wear a white carnation.
"Delicate and personal," he said.
I told him we didn't do divorce, but it's nothing of that nature.
I'm on my way.
Not in that cardigan, you're not.
Hetty: Mr.
harkness? Yes.
Are you sure you weren't followed? Who'd be following? Well, nobody, I hope.
I've taken every precaution.
Look, I'm sorry, but I'm extremely upset.
They threatened to kill her if I go to the police.
You're sure you've told nobody? There's nobody to tell.
Who have they threatened to kill? It's my daughter Tracy.
And who are "they"? I don't know.
I mean, they could be anyone.
We'd better keep on the move to avoid notice.
They won't talk on the phone.
They expect phone taps.
They insist on a meeting.
Do you want me to go with you? No.
You'll have to go alone, I'm afraid.
I can't go myself.
I have a heart condition.
You find out what they want and come back and tell me.
What about your wife? Oh, she doesn't know.
No, they phoned me at the office.
I was at my wit's end, and then I looked at your photo in the paper, and I thought, "she's the one.
" Where does your wife think Tracy is? Uh, staying with friends.
She was at this party, you see--a rave-up.
That's when they grabbed her.
Look, you've got to explain to them, Mrs.
Wainthropp, they've made a mistake.
I mean, I'm not a rich man.
They must have got me confused with someone else of the same name.
I think we're being watched.
Pretend to admire the fountain.
Are you sure it's a real kidnap, Mr.
harkness? Couldn't it just be Tracy and her friends making the whole thing up to get money out of you? That is a despicable suggestion.
Of course, I'm not sure.
That's one of the things I want you to find out.
150 in notes, with the directions how to get there.
There'll be another 150 when you come back.
How do I get in touch with you? You don't.
I'll phone you from a public box.
Safer.
Now, remember, they'll be expecting you, and there'll be nobody else there.
You'll be in no danger if you don't start anything.
I shan't start anything.
How are you going to get there? It's a long way out.
Please don't concern yourself, Mr.
harkness.
I have my own transport.
[Engine sputtering.]
What about the old bag lady? First things first.
What we're doing tonight, there's real money involved.
We'll have to put Mary nabley on a back burner for a bit.
Geoffrey, can you assure me that you have not stolen this vehicle? Borrowed it from a friend.
And you're licensed to drive? You keep forgetting, Mrs.
Wainthropp, I'm 17.
I used to deliver pizzas for a chain, but it broke.
Ha ha! Dead end.
This'll be it.
I think we'd better walk from here.
Geoffrey: There's a light.
I'm expected.
I'll go on in.
Hide our transport in the bushes, then follow me.
I want you to keep me under constant observation.
What happens if they kidnap you as well? Start a diversion.
[Knocking on door.]
Hetty: Anybody home? It's Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I've come on behalf of my client Mr.
harkness.
[Soft crying.]
Hello? Hello! Is there anybody up there? Tracy, is that you? [Soft crying.]
Don't be worried.
I'm a friend.
[Creaking.]
Aah! Geoffrey! Geoffrey! Mrs.
Wainthropp! Mrs.
Wainthropp, where are you? I'm up here! Help! Mrs.
Wainthropp! I'll drop the torch.
Hang on.
All right.
I'm coming up.
Mind how you go.
This place is booby-trapped.
Stay still, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
It's not safe.
Who's that crying? Tape recorder.
The bleating of the goat excites the tiger.
Oh, aye? Come on, Geoffrey, do something.
Wouldn't it be better if you just dropped? If I drop, you're fired.
[Gunshot on TV.]
Huh? There'll be somebody along soon.
They won't leave this tape recorder for the police to find.
Blow the candle out, Geoffrey.
That'll confuse them.
There's somebody along now.
Quick, out the back way.
The candle's gone out.
Right.
[Tape stops.]
That was the man who grabbed me at the mill.
That's interesting.
He was also Mr.
harkness.
Now, where's that scooter? Over there.
Well, I don't know where she is.
She didn't say.
She'll be home sometime, I suppose.
Who shall I say called? [Caller hangs up.]
Cheers.
Lovely.
We may be out of our depth, Geoffrey.
Made 150 quid out of it, though, didn't we? There's more to life than money.
Like staying alive.
We've got to get out of this bag lady case-- drop it and find a way of letting them know, whoever "they" are.
We're not quitters, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Yes, we are.
I have a responsibility to your mother.
Oh, she's not too bothered anyway.
There'll be other cases.
"Never close a file," you said.
I'm closing this one.
We have to, Geoffrey.
We've blundered into something.
I don't know what, but whatever it is They tried to kill me tonight.
If you hadn't been there-- but I was.
We'll speak to the police.
Attempted murder.
They'll have to investigate.
This is as far as I am prepared to go.
She's been in before, sir.
Eccentric.
There was a piece in the record.
Hmm.
Did you look at her arms? Sir? If she fell through the ceiling, she'd be marked.
I could have been killed! Oh, I don't think so.
A broken ankle would have been more likely.
Allow me to introduce myself-- detective chief inspector Adams.
Adams: And this Mr.
harkness gave you 150 pounds in used notes and a bit of torn wrapping paper with directions written out in capital letters? Hetty: That's right.
We were there.
It happened to us.
We're witnesses.
A teenager and a pensioner? Excuse me.
They'd make mincemeat of both of you in court.
Not that it could ever come to that, with no suspects and no proof of crime.
There's proof of one thing.
Somebody's trying to get me to back away from the bag lady case.
If you don't believe us, why did you come? Old buildings interest me.
Oh, aye? Did you suffer any bruising? Bruising? Here.
Thank you, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Shall we go? People think the police can investigate anything.
We're a public service, chronically short of cash.
Broadly speaking, we investigate only two sorts of crime: What we can't avoid and what we think we can clear up.
Are you with me? I'm ahead of you.
You tell me people are trying to kill you because you've been poking your nose into the old lady's death.
It's unprovable, a waste of public money to give you more than a few soothing words.
But suppose you suffered an unfortunate accident after making this complaint? We'd have to take it seriously.
Are you still ahead of me? Catching up.
I don't think you'll be bothered again unless you turn up something really important-- in which case, I want to know.
Agreed.
If it was me dabbling in such an unlikely affair, I'd start by trying to find out who Mary nabley was and where she came from.
She must have a family somewhere.
I hope you're insured and licensed to drive that vehicle, young man.
Woman: There was a photo of a young lad in a silver frame.
We threw the photo away and sold the frame.
[Knock on door.]
Oh, hello, Geoffrey.
I wish she wouldn't call these breakfast meetings.
If David frost can do it, Hetty can do it.
Now, we have to know where we are before we can go where we're going, right? If you say so, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
First, we know there's a cover-up.
It's in high places, and it goes deep.
Can it do both of those simultaneously, like? They tried to kill me, Robert.
Just remember that.
It'll keep you serious.
Second, we've two clues.
One is mollusks.
You what? Cockles, uh, whelks, and such.
There's all sorts.
What was it about whelks That made Mary nabley take off like that and leave her home? She found something out, and that information was dangerous.
People don't care about whelks.
Not all that keen on them myself.
Whatever it was, my theory is that she lived where they abound.
So first, the mollusk connection.
And second This photo, found in Mary nabley's belongings.
And what does the trained eye immediately notice? Can you be going to tell us? Study the suit, Robert.
Your brother Frank had a suit like that.
Right.
He did.
Demob suit.
Good cloth is that.
He wore it to funerals.
Late 1940s, then.
I never got one.
Did my national service, but you had to be in the war.
Somebody in his early 20s in the late forties, now in his 60s--her age.
I wonder what that bit of fur means.
You miss a lot by not being educated.
Robert and me never had the chance.
And you haven't taken advantage of your opportunities, Geoffrey.
What opportunities? But as my auntie bea used to say, "if you don't know, there's others do.
" Excuse me.
Do you mind telling me where the shellfish come from? A wholesaler.
No, before that.
Oh, I get your drift.
The sea.
And rocks and sand.
They hide in sand until harvested.
No.
What I mean B.
A.
, Oxford.
Good.
Are we gonna eat all these? Not the ones from Taiwan.
Wayne's done a runner.
I've just seen Sandy.
Here.
Pay for these, Robert.
I told you, she had nothing-- no clue to who she was.
Did you never talk to her? Hardly.
You said she had a posh voice.
You must have spoken sometimes.
Sandy: Well, her and me, we'd meet in the-- there was a toilet in the mill.
No running water, but it was somewhere to sit.
We'd meet there sometimes, pass the time of day.
She kept a little pile of newspapers cut into squares, and we'd collect water from the canal to flush the bowl.
Show me this toilet.
You what? Some of those bits of newspaper could have been local Where she came from.
Nothing local.
"Times" and "telegraph," mostly.
Are we done in here now? Educated, posh voice, laid down the law in the reference library, had class.
Must have had valuables.
No.
I don't mean that bit of unspent money from her pension.
You'd have taken that.
But the things middle-class folk can't live without-- checkbook, credit cards.
Must have brought those.
I told you, she had nothing.
Do you think Wayne and me would have wasted a credit card? She'd nowhere to hide it, but she must have hidden it anyway.
Where? No running water, you said? Geoffrey, look in the cistern.
Bingo! We'll look at it later.
No offense intended.
[Clacking sound.]
What's that? Starting at shadows.
Gets to you, this job.
Keswick.
Nowhere near the sea.
What's in that packet? A computer disk.
Not much good to us.
We haven't got a computer.
We wouldn't know how to use it if we had.
Don't be daft.
They have them in primary schools these days.
Little children play with them.
Not where I went to school.
Nobody was computer-literate or in any way.
The spelling of 4-letter words gave us trouble.
That'll do.
Better keep it safe till we find someone who knows how to use it.
Well, at least we know where she had her bank account.
That's somewhere to start.
Man: I want a word with you.
Right.
They let me look in the phone book.
Mary nabley lived in a village at the end of the Dale.
Bus service only runs twice a week.
Ah.
How's your thumb, Geoffrey? Seems all right to me.
Are you sure this is the right one? Lilac cottage.
It's that other one looks as though the owner's done a runner.
Hetty: Oh.
Is Mary nabley at home? No, she's out.
Who wants her? Mrs.
Wainthropp And associate.
When will she be back? I'm not quite sure.
Who am I speaking to? And what business is that of yours? I'll ask the questions.
Who am I speaking to? I'm her nephew.
I'm looking after her cottage while she's away.
If you have any information about where she is, I'd be glad to know it.
Mary nabley died in suspicious circumstances a month ago.
My colleague and I are detectives investigating the case.
Well, you'd better come in.
Who used to live in that house over there? Man: Piddock holme? The, um, whole building went up in flames, and somehow Professor fisher was trapped inside.
It was at night.
He was burned to death without anyone realizing what was happening.
Somehow? Sorry? Could somebody have locked him in? I--I don't see why anyone should.
There was an open verdict at the inquest.
What do the neighbors say? My aunt was his nearest neighbor.
And she's dead, too.
In suspicious circumstances, you said? She fell and hit her head.
Well, that's hardly suspicious.
It is when you don't know how it happened.
This open verdict on the Professor-- could have been an accident, might have been suicide, even murder.
There's no reason why anyone should want to murder Professor fisher and none why he should take his own life.
You know that, do you? Well Your aunt must have had something to say at that inquest.
She must have heard something, seen something, a fire like that.
She wasn't at the inquest.
She went away.
It The police were rather annoyed.
We thought it was because Well, she was rather fond of him, you see.
Then why didn't she stay and help the coroner find out how he died? Well, surely that's not hard to understand.
If one's emotionally involved, standing up there in public, answering questions-- she was a shy, sensitive woman.
So shy and sensitive that she ran away, lived rough, and got herself killed just to avoid an inquest? I find that very hard to believe.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, I was totally unaware of my aunt's death until you told me just now.
Now, I'm extremely grateful to you for letting the family know, but it's hardly my business or yours to investigate.
What was Mr.
fisher a Professor of? He was retired-- a retired Professor.
And before he retired? Some sort of biologist, I think.
Good-bye, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Well, we know where to find you.
It's obvious she knows nothing.
We'll still have to keep her under observation, though.
What's to observe? I hate these messy cases.
"Piddock holme.
" There's 3 kinds of piddock altogether.
They burrow into rock.
Mollusks? What she was studying in the reference library.
Burned to death in his own shed? That was never an accident, Geoffrey.
And then she ran off soon after and took that computer thing with her.
Bit fishy, eh, Mrs.
Wainthropp? Now, then.
We'd better ask about.
There's a pub on the main street.
There's better sources of reliable information in a village than a lot of old men sipping beer in a pub.
Anyway, we have to find somewhere to spend the night.
Woman: Well, he was a funny man, the Professor.
He took against that biochemicals place that they built on melon hill and whipped up the village people.
Did they go along with him? Not the old families, no.
We need the jobs.
It was newcomers, mostly.
"Doomsday scenario," he said-- pollution of the water, no telling where it would lead.
There was talk of going to the law, but it came to nothing.
He went a bit funny after.
How funny? Well, there's a place just below melon hill where the outflow from the factory comes into the lake.
He'd go there every day come rain or shine, and he'd bring back freshwater shrimps and mussels and such.
Mollusks? Like a child with [Indistinct.]
.
He wanted them for his experiments, I suppose, but it looked odd.
And then, I mean, he wasn't a man for pets, but he got himself a couple of dogs-- couple of beagles, a dog and a bitch.
Don't know if he was going to breed them.
Ducks--although he'd no experience with poultry-- and a couple of goats to keep the grass down.
Mary nabley.
Oh, she helped him.
What happened to the dogs? Couple of rspca took them away in a van after the accident.
If it was an accident.
You don't think it was? Animal liberation front.
Everybody knew that, but nobody could prove it.
How do you know they were the rspca? Well, they said they were.
A funny thing: Lily pirrin down the road wanted to take the goats, and they wouldn't allow it.
This place he used to go to, where the outflow is-- can you tell us how to get there? Oh, I'll show you.
Gerry, get the map.
You can borrow a couple of bikes, and I'll put you up a nice packed lunch.
What happened to the ducks? Oh, better not to ask.
He'd come out here with his net, pick up a load of freshwater shrimps, and take them back to his laboratory.
Suddenly, one night, they all go up in flames.
Why? You heard Gerry.
The village thinks it was animal liberation front.
Someone has been feeding the village false information.
This biochemicals place is up the hill, she said.
Oh! It's not what you could call welcoming.
Yeah.
We'd better go back.
I've not climbed all this way to give up the moment I get to the top.
Hello? Excuse me! Can I have a word? Do you mind? What goes on in here, exactly? If you were an authorized person, madam, you wouldn't need to ask.
Now, on your way, both of you.
Politeness costs nothing.
We're not doing any harm.
Tell me, was Professor fisher an authorized person? Security gate to base.
I think we'd best be off now, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
Animal liberation front.
Some folk would believe anything.
Why should animal liberators bother with a few shrimps in a shed at the bottom of a garden? You can never tell.
There was a girl at our school joined them, and she went round releasing bait from fishing tackle shops.
Something from that place was affecting those mollusks.
That's what the Professor was studying, and that's what's on the computer disk.
Something in the water? Has to be.
There's things you read about in the papers-- kiddies born with no eyes, leukemia and such.
I don't read them bits.
You have to sometimes, Geoffrey.
We'll have to look at what's on that disk.
Robert could ask at the school again.
We can look at it in the village.
Gerry at the b and b-- she'll know someone.
We can't read it.
Why not? It's a computer.
I haven't got the software.
Frogspawn--I've never even heard of it.
You see, a computer's just a machine, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
You have to give it instructions before it'll work.
That's called the software.
Comes on a disk like this one.
The Professor was a marine biologist.
He'd have had specialist software.
Could the police find it? Probably, but if he didn't want anyone to read the file, he'd have encrypted it.
You still couldn't get in without a password.
Scientists.
They've no consideration.
There isn't a "for sale" sign outside piddock holme, and yet nobody lives there.
Oh, some company from London bought it.
I wonder how they knew.
What, about him dying? It was in the papers.
Well, if I'd read in the paper about a Professor burning to death, I wouldn't put in an offer for his house straight off.
Had he any family? Oh, yeah.
Down South somewhere.
So have they moved all his things out of the house, then? No.
How do you know? Gerry: It's this way.
That's interesting.
Geoffrey: Must be that nephew.
Gerry: He's gone back to town.
There's nobody in the house.
You could have fooled me.
Ok, it's open.
Quick as you can.
I wish I knew what I was looking for.
Gerry? Just 3 10-pound notes so far.
He's used them to mark his place and then forgot.
I found the study, but all the computer disks are gone and all the papers.
There's summat funny here.
All his music-- tapes and cds-- it's classical, Beethoven and stuff, apart from this one-- "the very best of the bee gees.
" Ugh.
Let's hear it.
I'm going back to Massachusetts you have to admit it's got a certain old-fashioned charm.
That's music.
That's real music.
[Music stops.]
Man: You've asked me, "what is the safety level on the presence of these hormones in the food chain?" And I must tell you that there is no safety level, no matter what the experts say, because we simply do not know.
Rehearsing a speech.
And we cannot know until the damage has already been done, unless we begin now to conduct the most stringent tests on a wide variety of animal species, including our own.
[Music resumes.]
[Tape stops.]
Then he did find something then, with those experiments.
And then someone found him.
I've been thinking, Geoffrey, about that light we saw on the way in.
Remember what I said to you when they set that trap for me-- the kidnapped girl in the cottage? The bleating of the goat Excites the tiger.
Right.
And the flicker of the candle flame attracts the moth.
What do we do? Wait for moths.
Come on.
You'll see.
Hey! Get off me! [Indistinct shouting.]
Now, let's take a good look at you.
Geoffrey? That'll teach you.
You stupid woman.
You've got some explaining to do.
"Use your initiative.
" They never say what they really mean.
You have to work it out for yourself.
"Take care of her.
" How? Oh, it's up to me, the man on the ground.
That's what they pay for.
They don't want to be bothered.
Don't want to know my troubles.
And now? He won't be pleased.
You're not working for the government, then? I have worked for the security services.
There's so much privatization these days, you'd be surprised what I get asked to do.
But not this time? No, not as far as I know.
I think I'd better make an appointment to see this boss of yours.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, Mr.
Shawcross, how very good of you to come.
Sir Peter will see you at once, Mrs.
Wainthropp.
I'll try to make Mr.
Shawcross comfortable in here.
Mrs.
Wainthropp has arrived, sir Peter.
Sir Peter: Thank you, Caroline.
Do come with me.
Sir Peter: Well, Mrs.
Wainthropp, you've been putting the cat among the pigeons, I hear.
Do sit down, Mr.
Shawcross.
Thanks.
There was nothing in the water-- nothing to worry anyone.
It worried the Professor.
He was a crank.
Before any wastewater leaves our plant, it's tested for everything you can think of.
It's always well below eec safety levels.
So there wasn't a cover-up about the water.
There wasn't a cover-up about anything.
Oh, yes, there was.
Mrs.
Wainthropp, I don't know where your vivid imagination has been leading you.
Did you really believe that sinister secret agents set fire to the Professor's laboratory and murdered an old lady who knew too much? It's a possibility.
Well, it didn't happen in this case.
What did happen To Mary nabley? She fell on the steps and hit her head.
They got it right at the inquest.
She wasn't pushed.
She fell.
Shall we make ourselves more comfortable? Tell me if I'm right, sir Peter.
The Professor believed that nobody can say for sure what's safe until the damage has been done.
He collected shrimps and such from the outflow to your plant and ground them up into a sort of paste.
He bought a couple of beagles-- a dog and a bitch-- and fed it to them.
Two goats, a Billy and a nanny-- goats will eat anything-- and ducks, and he took some himself.
And he gave some to Mary nabley.
Probably told her they were vitamins.
Mr.
brown seems to have been remarkably indiscreet.
Oh, I didn't get all this from Mr.
brown.
I worked some of it out for myself.
Mollusks.
They change sex if they're interfered with.
We got all that from the encyclopedia.
They say in the market that Mary nabley had facial hair.
Old women often do.
When she found out what he was doing to her, she killed him.
She locked him in that shed with his shrimps and set fire to it.
She may not have known that he was in there.
She may have just wanted to burn the shed.
And then she ran away, taking a few personal belongings with her-- including this.
May I? She was my sister.
Mary nabley? Yes.
So that was the cover-up.
Protecting yourself from what your sister had done.
Might have done.
But the press would have had a field day.
It could have ruined this company, done quite a bit of harm to the country generally-- jobs lost, exports lost.
Just a minute.
You tried to have me killed.
Are you saying that was to save jobs? I fear Mr.
brown exceeded his instructions.
He certainly did.
The inconvenience will be reflected in the size of your fee.
Excuse me.
Caroline? His sister.
Well, there you are, Geoffrey-- families.