Hope Springs s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
Out you come, Lagden.
I'm gonna miss you, Miss.
See you in a week or so.
In your dreams.
I owe you big time, babes.
Yeah.
You do, you rotten sod.
I'll ring you when we're clear.
You've got this all covered, haven't you, Roy? Trust me.
I did the last time.
You're trembling, babes.
Did prison break your balls or what? Promise me this is the last time you'll put me through this, Roy.
I told you, if there'd been a way of doing it without you Well, no more.
Promise.
OK.
OK.
I promise.
This is the big one for all time, yeah? Then it's sun, sea and and you and me going at it like bunnies.
I guess I'm lucky my guy still loves me.
Gail! You look fantastic.
So do you, Ellie.
Hi, Fabian.
How's it going? Shall we go freshen up? Tell the boys we're both happy, yeah? Chief Inspector Harriet Walsh.
You're under arrest.
What? It's best all round if you come quietly.
I'll take you for questioning first.
You wait here.
What? What's keeping them? No problem with our money.
No problem with our gems either, mate.
I'm going to look-see.
What's this? It's the ladies, mate.
Excuse us.
Out of my way! Oi! Mr Roy Lagden? Chief Inspector Harriet Walsh.
You're under arrest for conspiracy to smuggle stolen gems.
You what? You are making one big mistake, darling.
Shut it.
We'll be back to question you shortly.
And in case you feel like legging it, there will be a guard outside.
Oh! And don't worry about your wife.
She's under arrest, too.
Who's been a naughty boy, then? Your lady-boss has fitted me up.
Who are you talking about? We got a tip-off.
Her.
That Harriet Walsh.
Oh, come on.
Don't tell me you don't know the name of your own Chief Inspector? His name's Bob Packard.
Well, who's she, then? The one that stuck me in here? We've done it! Three million quid! Barbados, here we come! Hallelujah! OK, we've got to get to the airport and collect our new passports.
Then we can celebrate.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Mandy's flight from Manchester.
(Oh, no!) It's delayed.
No way! You what? It's half an hour.
Half an hour.
OK.
She better not be later than that.
If we miss our flight, it doesn't bear thinking about.
We'll have the cops and Roy after us.
OK, let's go.
Quick! Shove it in here! Boss, it's me.
What's going on? Roy Lagden, I'm arresting you on suspicion of handling stolen goods.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned I told you Mandy was a bad idea.
Oh, thank goodness! It's going to be fine.
Yeah, good old Mandy.
Excuse me! Excuse me! Oh, my good God! Go and get someone.
Stop the carousel.
Get somebody! I don't believe it.
Right, girls, I reckon we need a Plan B, fast.
Somewhere we don't need passports.
Where the hell's Fort William? Exactly.
No-one's got a scooby.
Not even Roy.
We're not going to stay long, are we? Just got to find somewhere quiet to lie low till we can sort out some new passports.
Oh, it's freezing.
Don't they have a summer in Scotland? Well, it looks like it might brighten up.
Oh, I'm going to freeze to death! So much for going straight, then.
Well, there's no way I'm walking ten yards in these.
It's OK.
We'll put it back.
With a thank you note, I'm sure.
There! I found this in the car, boss.
She's found out about Sonia, then? How did she get her hands on this? Looks like you've been a bit careless.
We need some clear thinking here.
She didn't pull this on her own.
She called in another firm? The only crims she's been seeing the last four years was in the nick.
So you find out who her mates on the inside were.
Find her, Marius.
Or it'll be you that's paying the price.
Hope Springs.
If that doesn't have our names written all over it Fuaran Dochais.
What's that mean? It means you shut up and listen.
We're in a foreign country now.
We're not four ex cons on the run, we're four ramblers on holiday.
Ramblers?! Yes, it means you wander about the country admiring stuff, not slagging it off.
What? So we've got to wear this hiking clobber from now on? MOBILE BEEPS It suits you.
Those boots look good on you.
Better to look like a hill-walker than a streetwalker.
Thank you, Hans(!) Oh, come on you two, you're doing my head in.
Right, get your mobiles out.
I want your SIM cards.
Eh? They're like electronic tags.
I'm going to burn 'em.
And from now on, we use our new surnames at all times because we are brand new, shiny people.
Do people actually live here? Oh, they've got a curry house.
DOG BARKS Ellie, I'm starving! Well, this place looks all right.
Doesn't look too bad.
I'm gasping for a cup of tea.
'Scuse me.
Christ almighty! You trying to kill me? What can I do for you? Er We'll have one and all And four rooms.
Rooms? Four? Well, at this short notice, I'd have to charge you full-rate.
£25 per person per night.
Fine.
Actually, forget the rooms.
Eh? Eurgh! That's just a one-off.
SNAP! Er Actually, we're just going to hit the road.
You'll not find anywhere else to stay round here.
Sorry, love.
Well, there's no rush, is there, girls? Stay and have a dram.
For your trouble.
Er, it might be your last chance.
The next hotel's a good, oh, three hours from here.
Oh, go on then.
Just the one.
Doubles OK? Yep.
I don't think I'll last here.
It's good to take a break.
I'm sick of sitting in that car.
Ramblers, are you? What's it to you? Whatever? Right, which of you is the owner of the maroon Escort with the out-of-date tax disc? It's lucky it's not our car then.
We've borrowed it for a few days off a friend in Fort William.
Aye, well, well your friend to get it legal and pronto.
Untaxed cars are a menace.
Yeah, they mug old ladies.
SHE GIGGLES Come on, girls, drink up.
Now, I presume that none of you are planning to drive anywhere after drinking Sadie's measures? Might be a bit musty.
It's a while since we had a staying guest in here.
Who was it? Bonny Prince Charlie(?) Bit of fresh air.
Good as new.
So, are you ramblers, then? Yes.
We've got some great walks around here.
Oh, we'll definitely be checking them out.
Can I give you a hand with your unpacking? Why don't you show the others their rooms, then we can open a bottle of malt? Put it on my bill.
Oh, I'm going to enjoy having you as guests.
You're in the attic.
What? We've got to sleep in this tin can? I've got it nice and cosy inside.
Fantastic! It's minging.
I used to sleep in here myself back when we had regular guests.
Well, we'll swap you, then.
Well, I've not been too well this last year.
Your bedding's under the bunks.
I'll let you get settled in.
It's smaller than our cell was.
One big difference - no locks.
So here we are then.
Freezing our wotsits off in some crummy caravan in Scotland.
It's not exactly what we was promised.
Give it a rest, Shoo.
It's Ellie's gig.
We're lucky to be in on it.
Lucky!? We got the three mill, didn't we? We just got to wait a bit longer to spend it.
We don't have to.
We could take our share off Ellie and split now.
What? Well, why hang around in this bog-hole? I could easy blag us a couple of seats on Eurostar.
Get off at Paris.
Hitch to Spain.
It'd be hot there and we could easy nip back to London if we wanted to, you know.
No, I know what this is about.
Nathan Donovan.
I couldn't give a stuff about that lying smack-head.
Well, just in case you're thinking different Nathan couldn't give a stuff about you.
You just gotta promise me that we get to Barbados, yeah? Yeah.
SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE You know what some of them are like.
I said, "Just behave and you'll get out sooner, "you'll get time off.
" Whether he takes the warning is up to him, isn't it? In the morning, yeah? See you tomorrow.
Wayne Fletcher? Bloody 'ell! Mike Gibb, private investigator.
You looked after an Ellie Lagden, didn't you? Yeah, sorry, mate, can't give you any information.
We sign the Official Secrets Act.
Course, I know that.
So, don't ask, don't tell.
Right? Five grand? List of all the phone calls, prison visits and names and addresses of all her jail-mates.
Make it ten, you'll have 'em tomorrow.
Whatever.
Help! Help! Help, somebody! Help! Help, somebody! What's up? They're there! It's trying to bite me, innit? Have you not seen a sheep on your rambles before? I was just going shopping and it just went for me.
Sheep don't bite.
They haven't got any top front teeth.
Yeah? Well, what's it looking at me like that for, then? Probably thinks you're acting a bit weird, being so scared of it.
Ain't that right, Lottie? SHEEP BLEATS Yeah.
She says she can't work you out at all.
Right, yeah.
Well, I'd better go back indoors then, eh? You and me both.
Excuse me.
Shouldn't you wait to be served? Or at least be a bit cleverer so you don't get caught? I'm the new landlord, right? Well, we'll check that out with the old one then, yeah? Right then, you'll be checking out the new house rules.
Number one, no snotty English cows allowed.
Heads down, Hans.
It's not our problem.
Sit yourselves down, girls.
There's your bottle of my best malt.
I'll away and plate you up.
Me and Josie's in a bleeding caravan being bitten to death by midges.
It's only for one night, then it's onwards and upwards, yeah? We should be under a palm tree, drinking sangria.
I keep thinking about those forged passports with our faces on them that we left at the airport.
Not to mention the police jacket we left in the toilet.
And the stolen car.
I could kill that fat Mandy.
She's dead, Shoo.
Look, we're safe enough for now, yeah? We've already had a run-in with the local law.
We've only been here five minutes.
Come on, Han.
Yeah, come on, Hans.
What, so we bin that one and buy a new one, yeah? Yeah, cos it's not like we're skint, is it? I mean we've got How much was it, Jose? We got what was it? Oh, yeah.
THEY MOUTH Exactly! Oh, I hope you've put it somewhere safe.
Yeah, under lock and key.
Look, I promise you.
We're gonna start living the five-star life as from tomorrow, yeah? Enjoy! No offence, love, but I think we're going to just finish these and go get a curry down the road.
And we'll be leaving before breakfast.
You'll not be staying on, then? Oh, get real, grandma.
You should be paying us to stay in this dump.
Shoo! You try running this place on your own, at my age.
I'm run ragged! I'm also flat broke, so eat up, it'll be the last supper.
Oh, Els, please, we gotta give her a bung.
She ain't our problem, sucker.
What if she were your nan? My nan branded me with an iron.
SHE SIGHS Watcha, Ell.
SHE GASPS Have you got everything? Back up, girls.
We're staying.
What!? Think about it.
This is the perfect hiding place.
It's the Bermuda bloody Triangle.
No tourists, no guests, hardly any traffic.
How do we get legit passports? We become legit.
We buy this hotel.
Buy it?! Give us all an address, jobs.
We get driving licences, bank accounts Jobs? Like bar jobs? Yeah - jobs, once we've refurbed, which I reckon will take about as long as it takes to get our new passports.
Till then, we close the place down.
Are you serious? It's the perfect cover till we're sorted.
On your way then? Sadie, we've got a proposition for you.
I see.
No disrespect, but you have seen the hotel in the flesh, so to speak? Stark hairy naked, mate.
So your offer will be subject to survey? I don't need a survey to tell me the place is falling down.
I'm going to gut it.
You do seem in an awful hurry, if you don't mind me saying so, Mrs Williams? No hurry in particular for a widow wanting a fresh start.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Unless of course there's a problem with English folks buying property around here? No, no, no.
Not at all.
It's just important to, you know, follow due procedure.
Oh, don't come it, Euan.
I'm just in receipt of conflicting instructions.
You can forget what my daughter said to you because it's not her property to sell, it's mine.
I'm still obliged to look after your interests, Sadie.
I mean, she'll need to find alternative accommodation.
Oh, I'm not going anywhere, Euan.
I have to stay on as a sitting tenant and bar manager, so that I can still be the licence holder.
Won't I, Ellie? Can't kick an old lady out of her home.
Well, I'm delighted for you, Sadie, but I'd still advise that you think about it overnight.
I've thought about it, Euan, and this is the best thing that's happened to me in years.
See? Everyone's happy.
Right, well, I'll bank this for you, Sadie, and get the ball rolling, will I? You just bring her the deeds quick as if you want your commission.
I'm so excited, I've got to go to the lavvy.
Look, please don't get me wrong, Mrs Williams.
But the truth is, there are much better commercial properties for sale in the area, if you're looking for a going concern.
But I'm not, am I, Mr Harries? Seriously, I've a legal duty to disclose any material facts or defects.
A lawyer who sticks to the rules, that's a new one on me.
Maybe we could go for a drink? Why would we do that? Hi.
I've closed the shop for lunch.
You wanting a sandwich at home or are you out and about? I'm, er My wife, Ina.
Ina, this is Ellie Williams.
She's, erm I'm buying the Hope Springs Hotel.
Really? Yeah.
It's a done deal.
Well, that's marvellous, isn't it, Euan? I'll see you at home, eh? Oh, don't go hungry on my account.
Well, wait till folk hear about this.
GIGGLING Come on, girls.
Here's to the dream.
ALL: The dream! Well, this is more like it, eh? Our own private bar.
Eh, when we gonna bin off the old bag? That's the other thing I've been meaning to let you in on.
Sadie Girls, Sadie will be staying on with us as bar management consultant.
Celebratory drink, eh? Oh, thank you, dear.
I'll help myself, will I? Go on, knock yourself out.
I'll be expecting a wage, too, mind.
She's sold it, Ann Marie.
I can't believe it.
No, I've just done it for cash.
I thought she was joking.
Well, you'd better bloody well go and talk her out of it, then.
LAUGHTER AND SHRIEKING Wooh! Wooh! Knock it back! I'm so happy.
You're like you were sent from heaven.
And there's us thinking that's where we've arrived, eh, girls? Oh, I'm sorry, we're closed.
Didn't you see the sign? Which one of you is Ellie Williams? You're looking at her.
Do you think you can just turn up here from nowhere and take advantage of a vulnerable old lady? She seems pretty happy about it to me.
She's senile.
Mum, I need to speak to you now.
I know what you want, Ann Marie.
You want to put me in a home, so that you can spend your inheritance before I've even curled up my toes.
That's pure rubbish! Well, you won't get me out of here now.
Mum! I'm sorry, but what's your problem? We done your mum a great deal, haven't we? You buy a hotel and just close it down? Well, only till we've done the place up.
Aye, but you don't have to close the bar to do up the rest of the place up, do you? Can't nobody in Scotland read English?! Well, maybes the English don't know the expression "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours"? Yeah? Well, that's the gig, see? People come in here for a drink, then it's down to ours for their curry and chips.
I mean, is this even legal? No, I'm going to have a word with the licensing committee cos I think you're misusing the premises here.
You're not going to get away with any of this.
There is no way I am working as a barmaid.
No way.
We've got to stop the locals asking questions.
I've got a question.
How come all of a sudden we've got a sitting tenant? Because she had me over a barrel.
We don't know how to run a pub, Ell.
You served drinks at POs' parties.
You, you ran the prison kitchen and how many wings did you scrub clean? I'm supposed to be a multi bloody mill Look, we've got to open up, for now, or we blow our cover.
Or do you have any better ideas? Please, guys.
I can't do this on my own.
Right, if we're going to do this, we're going to clean this place up.
I'm not touching anything until it's been sterilised.
Right.
Well, let's get busy, then.
Next hour's a happy one too, folks! CHEERING See, you just got off on the wrong foot.
Lucky you've got me to oil the wheels.
You wouldn't really have wanted to buy this place yourself, would you? Are you asking me or telling me? Well, it's nice to see it so busy.
Ha-ha! See why it's half price if the bevvy's pure half foam.
I need to nip over and open up or else folk'll start piling the windaes in to get their chips and curry sauce! I'm sorry, we don't speak Gaelic.
SHE HUMS "ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL" I reckon you're enjoying this, you freak.
I'm just making the most of it.
Well, I can't believe we are doing this crap.
Don't start on again.
We're in a fix, this is our way out.
Why do you keep moaning about it? Erm, I'm Dean.
Well, hello, Dean! I do part-time on the bar for Sadie.
I guess that makes me your new boss.
I think you'd better go home and get the dinner ready.
Put a front on, eh? Gentlemen.
Same again in there? Yes, please, and a half for him.
This is my son, Ronan.
Oh, I think we already met, didn't we, Ronan? Oh, well, I thought you might be glad of his services, if you've got any work going for an odd-job man around? No job too small, eh, Ronan? He's done a bit of everything round here for Sadie.
Be too big for him, what I want doing for me, then, won't it? Well, I was assuming, Mrs Williams, since you've re-opened the bar that you've scaled down your plans for a total refurbishment? I think you underestimate what me and my girls are capable of, Mr Harries.
CHEERING AND LAUGHTER Well, I'll watch this space, will I? Dad, what we gonnae do? Just drink your bloody drink and leave the thinking to me, OK? Is there a stink in here? You what? Forget it.
Yeah, that's dead rotten, man.
Well, it better be gone soon or else.
Or else what? You wanna find out? Oi! Harries, pack it in.
Just talking, "occifer".
You taking your shortcomings out on my son, again, Cameron? He needs put on a bloody lead.
And you need to catch our Katie's murderer.
What was all that about? Sure you'll find out soon enough.
It's just that he seemed to have a bit of a problem with you.
Look, what do you want? Watch it, you.
I'm on the management here, right? It's time you took a tea-break, yeah? I've got some voddie in the van.
You didn't tell me there'd been a murder? Ah, erm No, I Oh, Gil, your usual? Yup.
Chief Inspector.
How nice to see you again.
Mrs Williams, isn't it? Oh, Ellie.
I guess you heard I'm your new landlady? Well, if you don't mind my saying, I wasn't buying you in that Gor-Tex jacket.
The truth is, I thought I'd better travel incognito, you know, checking out properties.
I didn't want to raise the asking price by declaring my intention.
Anything that rubs Euan Harries up the wrong way suits me fine.
It couldn't have worked out better then, could it? Sadie, she's just been telling me about this murder enquiry that you're on.
Oh, no, no.
On the house.
Got to keep in with the law.
Or are you gonna arrest me for attempted bribery? You're lucky I'm off duty.
What's been going on here, then? Um, you've met Ann Marie? Hi.
Except I maybe didn't say I was your fiancee.
Your Mum actually told me.
So, when's the wedding? Och, a few weeks' time.
While I can still walk down the aisle without showing! No white dress for you, then? Anyway, Ellie, I can see you're no stranger to my line of business, so, next time you need those roots seeing to Ann Marie runs the hair and beauty salon.
The Kiss Kurl.
Oh, I think I'll be too busy to look in the mirror.
You've been in the hotel business before? Well, my mum and dad ran a pub.
Yeah? Where was that? England.
I'm sorry, did you want a drink? I'll have an orange juice, please? I'll have someone bring it over.
For God's sake, Ann Marie! Well, you might not tell she's no natural blonde, but I can.
Dyed hair is the least of it if you ask me.
Go on? SHE MOUTHS Got these off the train.
Well, they just left the trolleys in the corridor, didn't they? You're lucky you got away with it.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I would have paid for it if I could have, obviously.
Cheers! Cheers.
So, Dean, you live round here then? Just up the hill with my Mum.
Oh, cool.
I don't think I've ever seen a place, you know, with so much fresh air and sheep and stuff.
But I suppose you're used to it? I hate it round here.
I'd love to live in Glasgow, to be honest.
Cool.
So what do you folk do round here, you know, for a bit of fun? Fun? Yeah, you know, a bit of life.
There must be something to do.
Yeah, we just get drunk and sing folk songs.
Folk songs? Is that it? I'm kidding on, there's plenty to do in the big town.
There's clubs and pubs and shops and stuff.
Just need the money.
Yeah? What do you do for fun in London? We've only landed in the middle of a murder enquiry.
A murder? In this place? Where the hell's Shoo? CREAKING What did you say your name was again? Shanice, but my friends call me Shoo.
Do I count as a friend yet? Definitely.
KNOCK AT DOOR Shoo? You in there? What did I say about no blokes? We never.
We was just talking.
OK, drink up, please.
OK, I'm going to finish locking up.
Hans, you put the kettle on.
Ronan, move it! Better get off to your bed now, Sadie.
Mm, two minutes.
I'm pooped.
I called time half an hour ago! Just finishing my drink.
As paid for.
Don't take me for a mug, sonny.
Get out.
You want to move out the way or you might get hurt.
I said out.
Now.
I'd take your hand off me if you know what's good for you.
What the Consider yourself barred.
You want to see me take my jeans off, do you? You'd better behave or you'll make me lose my temper.
I cannae wait.
Argh! Let me go! Is that "please"? Please.
Go ask your mummy for a plaster.
What the hell have we got ourselves into? We're in the middle of a murder enquiry.
The bar-hand's the brother of the chief suspect and our sitting tenant's the cop's future mother-in-law.
The whole place is like a bleeding fish bowl.
Good job we'll soon be off to Barbados, then.
Not soon enough, if you ask me.
Look girls, I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
Let's just cut our losses and head off, yeah? What, seriously? If we stay here, we're skewered, left, right and up where the sun don't shine.
OK? Right, that's settled.
We'll leave first thing before she wakes up.
SHE SIGHS SHE GASPS Where'smy money? ALARM SOUNDS COUGHING COUGHING Shoo! There's smoke everywhere! Help! Quick, we've got to get them out of there.
Is there anybody in there? Hannah! Ellie! You stay where you are.
Sadie! Is Ellie all right? She's not outside.
Oh, my God, she must still be upstairs.
You get Sadie! Sadie, quickly! ELLIE COUGHS Ellie! Ellie! What the hell's going on? It's on fire! Oh no! LABOURED BREATHING Where are you, Ellie?! Ellie! COUGHING Ellie! What are you doing? Just get out.
Oh, my God, Ellie! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Mind her head, mind her head! Give me room.
Out the road.
Give me room! Is she OK? Is she breathing? Is she breathing? Sssh! Just let me hear! Come on! Breathe! Gil.
ELLIE COUGHS Oi! Leave it out! Shut up and breathe, woman.
LAUGHTER SIRENS WAIL I'll never take another drop, so help me.
Yeah, well you said that the last fire you started.
Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
I'm so sorry.
I can't tell you how guilty I feel.
Come on.
Let's get you in that ambulance.
I've told you I'm not going.
OK.
Don't worry, Mum.
I'll come after you in the car, OK? You coming? I've got to file a report, love, check the damage.
Catch you there? No, but On you go.
I won't be long.
There's a lot of nasty damage in there.
Not what you had in mind, eh? Not quite.
Only, Well, if you'd rather someone took it off your hands? What? Well, now's not perhaps the time, but we're both business people, Mrs Williams.
God, the vultures swoop quick round here, don't they? Well, see how you feel.
Phew, lucky escape, eh? I don't know what you were so bloody helpful for.
I'm not a total bastard.
Yeah? Here, come on.
Just pack it in, eh? You don't need to be like that.
You're married, remember? And I'm about to get married.
Aye, only to make me jealous.
I wish I never had to see you again, Euan.
Just get your mum moved out of that hotel, right? You seen them fireman? Talk about fit! Behind every cloud Mainly smoke damage.
Apart from your room, Ellie.
That's trashed.
You'll have to bunk up with Hannah, buy some new clothes.
Yeah! An excuse to spend some of the stash, at last VOICES ECHO No! I just wanted to make sure that everyone's OK before I head off.
Yeah, yeah, we're fine.
Just go home.
Oh, right, right.
Well, the next time you need someone pulling from a towering inferno Er, yeah, thanks.
Ellie was just saying how amazing you were.
I'm just glad she's OK.
SHE BREATHS HEAVILY Ellie! (What's that?) Go and get the girls.
Our whole stash? I'm sorry.
I don't want sorry.
I want my money! It's gone.
You should've let us keep mine and Josie's in the van and it'd still be safe.
Well, it's too late now.
DOOR CREAKS It was you, wasn't it? WASN'T IT?! You stupid I was just trying to scare them out.
Well, you nearly burnt them alive.
And see if I hadn't put out that fire over those floorboards, you could have got done for a lot more than arson 'Well, it's not going to be easy.
'She's covered her tracks good,' boss.
I said find her! Aaargh! Aaargh! Can I take it that this morning's exodus is cancelled? So, to sum up, we've got no money, no passports and we're stuck under a spotlight in the middle of nowhere.
Essentially, yeah.
Look, we got away from Roy and the cops.
We've got a roof over our heads .
.
and we've even got a potential income.
We're safe, we've got each other.
We'll just have to start over, yeah? I mean, come on, SHE LAUGHS .
.
things could be worse.
I'm gonna miss you, Miss.
See you in a week or so.
In your dreams.
I owe you big time, babes.
Yeah.
You do, you rotten sod.
I'll ring you when we're clear.
You've got this all covered, haven't you, Roy? Trust me.
I did the last time.
You're trembling, babes.
Did prison break your balls or what? Promise me this is the last time you'll put me through this, Roy.
I told you, if there'd been a way of doing it without you Well, no more.
Promise.
OK.
OK.
I promise.
This is the big one for all time, yeah? Then it's sun, sea and and you and me going at it like bunnies.
I guess I'm lucky my guy still loves me.
Gail! You look fantastic.
So do you, Ellie.
Hi, Fabian.
How's it going? Shall we go freshen up? Tell the boys we're both happy, yeah? Chief Inspector Harriet Walsh.
You're under arrest.
What? It's best all round if you come quietly.
I'll take you for questioning first.
You wait here.
What? What's keeping them? No problem with our money.
No problem with our gems either, mate.
I'm going to look-see.
What's this? It's the ladies, mate.
Excuse us.
Out of my way! Oi! Mr Roy Lagden? Chief Inspector Harriet Walsh.
You're under arrest for conspiracy to smuggle stolen gems.
You what? You are making one big mistake, darling.
Shut it.
We'll be back to question you shortly.
And in case you feel like legging it, there will be a guard outside.
Oh! And don't worry about your wife.
She's under arrest, too.
Who's been a naughty boy, then? Your lady-boss has fitted me up.
Who are you talking about? We got a tip-off.
Her.
That Harriet Walsh.
Oh, come on.
Don't tell me you don't know the name of your own Chief Inspector? His name's Bob Packard.
Well, who's she, then? The one that stuck me in here? We've done it! Three million quid! Barbados, here we come! Hallelujah! OK, we've got to get to the airport and collect our new passports.
Then we can celebrate.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Mandy's flight from Manchester.
(Oh, no!) It's delayed.
No way! You what? It's half an hour.
Half an hour.
OK.
She better not be later than that.
If we miss our flight, it doesn't bear thinking about.
We'll have the cops and Roy after us.
OK, let's go.
Quick! Shove it in here! Boss, it's me.
What's going on? Roy Lagden, I'm arresting you on suspicion of handling stolen goods.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned I told you Mandy was a bad idea.
Oh, thank goodness! It's going to be fine.
Yeah, good old Mandy.
Excuse me! Excuse me! Oh, my good God! Go and get someone.
Stop the carousel.
Get somebody! I don't believe it.
Right, girls, I reckon we need a Plan B, fast.
Somewhere we don't need passports.
Where the hell's Fort William? Exactly.
No-one's got a scooby.
Not even Roy.
We're not going to stay long, are we? Just got to find somewhere quiet to lie low till we can sort out some new passports.
Oh, it's freezing.
Don't they have a summer in Scotland? Well, it looks like it might brighten up.
Oh, I'm going to freeze to death! So much for going straight, then.
Well, there's no way I'm walking ten yards in these.
It's OK.
We'll put it back.
With a thank you note, I'm sure.
There! I found this in the car, boss.
She's found out about Sonia, then? How did she get her hands on this? Looks like you've been a bit careless.
We need some clear thinking here.
She didn't pull this on her own.
She called in another firm? The only crims she's been seeing the last four years was in the nick.
So you find out who her mates on the inside were.
Find her, Marius.
Or it'll be you that's paying the price.
Hope Springs.
If that doesn't have our names written all over it Fuaran Dochais.
What's that mean? It means you shut up and listen.
We're in a foreign country now.
We're not four ex cons on the run, we're four ramblers on holiday.
Ramblers?! Yes, it means you wander about the country admiring stuff, not slagging it off.
What? So we've got to wear this hiking clobber from now on? MOBILE BEEPS It suits you.
Those boots look good on you.
Better to look like a hill-walker than a streetwalker.
Thank you, Hans(!) Oh, come on you two, you're doing my head in.
Right, get your mobiles out.
I want your SIM cards.
Eh? They're like electronic tags.
I'm going to burn 'em.
And from now on, we use our new surnames at all times because we are brand new, shiny people.
Do people actually live here? Oh, they've got a curry house.
DOG BARKS Ellie, I'm starving! Well, this place looks all right.
Doesn't look too bad.
I'm gasping for a cup of tea.
'Scuse me.
Christ almighty! You trying to kill me? What can I do for you? Er We'll have one and all And four rooms.
Rooms? Four? Well, at this short notice, I'd have to charge you full-rate.
£25 per person per night.
Fine.
Actually, forget the rooms.
Eh? Eurgh! That's just a one-off.
SNAP! Er Actually, we're just going to hit the road.
You'll not find anywhere else to stay round here.
Sorry, love.
Well, there's no rush, is there, girls? Stay and have a dram.
For your trouble.
Er, it might be your last chance.
The next hotel's a good, oh, three hours from here.
Oh, go on then.
Just the one.
Doubles OK? Yep.
I don't think I'll last here.
It's good to take a break.
I'm sick of sitting in that car.
Ramblers, are you? What's it to you? Whatever? Right, which of you is the owner of the maroon Escort with the out-of-date tax disc? It's lucky it's not our car then.
We've borrowed it for a few days off a friend in Fort William.
Aye, well, well your friend to get it legal and pronto.
Untaxed cars are a menace.
Yeah, they mug old ladies.
SHE GIGGLES Come on, girls, drink up.
Now, I presume that none of you are planning to drive anywhere after drinking Sadie's measures? Might be a bit musty.
It's a while since we had a staying guest in here.
Who was it? Bonny Prince Charlie(?) Bit of fresh air.
Good as new.
So, are you ramblers, then? Yes.
We've got some great walks around here.
Oh, we'll definitely be checking them out.
Can I give you a hand with your unpacking? Why don't you show the others their rooms, then we can open a bottle of malt? Put it on my bill.
Oh, I'm going to enjoy having you as guests.
You're in the attic.
What? We've got to sleep in this tin can? I've got it nice and cosy inside.
Fantastic! It's minging.
I used to sleep in here myself back when we had regular guests.
Well, we'll swap you, then.
Well, I've not been too well this last year.
Your bedding's under the bunks.
I'll let you get settled in.
It's smaller than our cell was.
One big difference - no locks.
So here we are then.
Freezing our wotsits off in some crummy caravan in Scotland.
It's not exactly what we was promised.
Give it a rest, Shoo.
It's Ellie's gig.
We're lucky to be in on it.
Lucky!? We got the three mill, didn't we? We just got to wait a bit longer to spend it.
We don't have to.
We could take our share off Ellie and split now.
What? Well, why hang around in this bog-hole? I could easy blag us a couple of seats on Eurostar.
Get off at Paris.
Hitch to Spain.
It'd be hot there and we could easy nip back to London if we wanted to, you know.
No, I know what this is about.
Nathan Donovan.
I couldn't give a stuff about that lying smack-head.
Well, just in case you're thinking different Nathan couldn't give a stuff about you.
You just gotta promise me that we get to Barbados, yeah? Yeah.
SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE You know what some of them are like.
I said, "Just behave and you'll get out sooner, "you'll get time off.
" Whether he takes the warning is up to him, isn't it? In the morning, yeah? See you tomorrow.
Wayne Fletcher? Bloody 'ell! Mike Gibb, private investigator.
You looked after an Ellie Lagden, didn't you? Yeah, sorry, mate, can't give you any information.
We sign the Official Secrets Act.
Course, I know that.
So, don't ask, don't tell.
Right? Five grand? List of all the phone calls, prison visits and names and addresses of all her jail-mates.
Make it ten, you'll have 'em tomorrow.
Whatever.
Help! Help! Help, somebody! Help! Help, somebody! What's up? They're there! It's trying to bite me, innit? Have you not seen a sheep on your rambles before? I was just going shopping and it just went for me.
Sheep don't bite.
They haven't got any top front teeth.
Yeah? Well, what's it looking at me like that for, then? Probably thinks you're acting a bit weird, being so scared of it.
Ain't that right, Lottie? SHEEP BLEATS Yeah.
She says she can't work you out at all.
Right, yeah.
Well, I'd better go back indoors then, eh? You and me both.
Excuse me.
Shouldn't you wait to be served? Or at least be a bit cleverer so you don't get caught? I'm the new landlord, right? Well, we'll check that out with the old one then, yeah? Right then, you'll be checking out the new house rules.
Number one, no snotty English cows allowed.
Heads down, Hans.
It's not our problem.
Sit yourselves down, girls.
There's your bottle of my best malt.
I'll away and plate you up.
Me and Josie's in a bleeding caravan being bitten to death by midges.
It's only for one night, then it's onwards and upwards, yeah? We should be under a palm tree, drinking sangria.
I keep thinking about those forged passports with our faces on them that we left at the airport.
Not to mention the police jacket we left in the toilet.
And the stolen car.
I could kill that fat Mandy.
She's dead, Shoo.
Look, we're safe enough for now, yeah? We've already had a run-in with the local law.
We've only been here five minutes.
Come on, Han.
Yeah, come on, Hans.
What, so we bin that one and buy a new one, yeah? Yeah, cos it's not like we're skint, is it? I mean we've got How much was it, Jose? We got what was it? Oh, yeah.
THEY MOUTH Exactly! Oh, I hope you've put it somewhere safe.
Yeah, under lock and key.
Look, I promise you.
We're gonna start living the five-star life as from tomorrow, yeah? Enjoy! No offence, love, but I think we're going to just finish these and go get a curry down the road.
And we'll be leaving before breakfast.
You'll not be staying on, then? Oh, get real, grandma.
You should be paying us to stay in this dump.
Shoo! You try running this place on your own, at my age.
I'm run ragged! I'm also flat broke, so eat up, it'll be the last supper.
Oh, Els, please, we gotta give her a bung.
She ain't our problem, sucker.
What if she were your nan? My nan branded me with an iron.
SHE SIGHS Watcha, Ell.
SHE GASPS Have you got everything? Back up, girls.
We're staying.
What!? Think about it.
This is the perfect hiding place.
It's the Bermuda bloody Triangle.
No tourists, no guests, hardly any traffic.
How do we get legit passports? We become legit.
We buy this hotel.
Buy it?! Give us all an address, jobs.
We get driving licences, bank accounts Jobs? Like bar jobs? Yeah - jobs, once we've refurbed, which I reckon will take about as long as it takes to get our new passports.
Till then, we close the place down.
Are you serious? It's the perfect cover till we're sorted.
On your way then? Sadie, we've got a proposition for you.
I see.
No disrespect, but you have seen the hotel in the flesh, so to speak? Stark hairy naked, mate.
So your offer will be subject to survey? I don't need a survey to tell me the place is falling down.
I'm going to gut it.
You do seem in an awful hurry, if you don't mind me saying so, Mrs Williams? No hurry in particular for a widow wanting a fresh start.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Unless of course there's a problem with English folks buying property around here? No, no, no.
Not at all.
It's just important to, you know, follow due procedure.
Oh, don't come it, Euan.
I'm just in receipt of conflicting instructions.
You can forget what my daughter said to you because it's not her property to sell, it's mine.
I'm still obliged to look after your interests, Sadie.
I mean, she'll need to find alternative accommodation.
Oh, I'm not going anywhere, Euan.
I have to stay on as a sitting tenant and bar manager, so that I can still be the licence holder.
Won't I, Ellie? Can't kick an old lady out of her home.
Well, I'm delighted for you, Sadie, but I'd still advise that you think about it overnight.
I've thought about it, Euan, and this is the best thing that's happened to me in years.
See? Everyone's happy.
Right, well, I'll bank this for you, Sadie, and get the ball rolling, will I? You just bring her the deeds quick as if you want your commission.
I'm so excited, I've got to go to the lavvy.
Look, please don't get me wrong, Mrs Williams.
But the truth is, there are much better commercial properties for sale in the area, if you're looking for a going concern.
But I'm not, am I, Mr Harries? Seriously, I've a legal duty to disclose any material facts or defects.
A lawyer who sticks to the rules, that's a new one on me.
Maybe we could go for a drink? Why would we do that? Hi.
I've closed the shop for lunch.
You wanting a sandwich at home or are you out and about? I'm, er My wife, Ina.
Ina, this is Ellie Williams.
She's, erm I'm buying the Hope Springs Hotel.
Really? Yeah.
It's a done deal.
Well, that's marvellous, isn't it, Euan? I'll see you at home, eh? Oh, don't go hungry on my account.
Well, wait till folk hear about this.
GIGGLING Come on, girls.
Here's to the dream.
ALL: The dream! Well, this is more like it, eh? Our own private bar.
Eh, when we gonna bin off the old bag? That's the other thing I've been meaning to let you in on.
Sadie Girls, Sadie will be staying on with us as bar management consultant.
Celebratory drink, eh? Oh, thank you, dear.
I'll help myself, will I? Go on, knock yourself out.
I'll be expecting a wage, too, mind.
She's sold it, Ann Marie.
I can't believe it.
No, I've just done it for cash.
I thought she was joking.
Well, you'd better bloody well go and talk her out of it, then.
LAUGHTER AND SHRIEKING Wooh! Wooh! Knock it back! I'm so happy.
You're like you were sent from heaven.
And there's us thinking that's where we've arrived, eh, girls? Oh, I'm sorry, we're closed.
Didn't you see the sign? Which one of you is Ellie Williams? You're looking at her.
Do you think you can just turn up here from nowhere and take advantage of a vulnerable old lady? She seems pretty happy about it to me.
She's senile.
Mum, I need to speak to you now.
I know what you want, Ann Marie.
You want to put me in a home, so that you can spend your inheritance before I've even curled up my toes.
That's pure rubbish! Well, you won't get me out of here now.
Mum! I'm sorry, but what's your problem? We done your mum a great deal, haven't we? You buy a hotel and just close it down? Well, only till we've done the place up.
Aye, but you don't have to close the bar to do up the rest of the place up, do you? Can't nobody in Scotland read English?! Well, maybes the English don't know the expression "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours"? Yeah? Well, that's the gig, see? People come in here for a drink, then it's down to ours for their curry and chips.
I mean, is this even legal? No, I'm going to have a word with the licensing committee cos I think you're misusing the premises here.
You're not going to get away with any of this.
There is no way I am working as a barmaid.
No way.
We've got to stop the locals asking questions.
I've got a question.
How come all of a sudden we've got a sitting tenant? Because she had me over a barrel.
We don't know how to run a pub, Ell.
You served drinks at POs' parties.
You, you ran the prison kitchen and how many wings did you scrub clean? I'm supposed to be a multi bloody mill Look, we've got to open up, for now, or we blow our cover.
Or do you have any better ideas? Please, guys.
I can't do this on my own.
Right, if we're going to do this, we're going to clean this place up.
I'm not touching anything until it's been sterilised.
Right.
Well, let's get busy, then.
Next hour's a happy one too, folks! CHEERING See, you just got off on the wrong foot.
Lucky you've got me to oil the wheels.
You wouldn't really have wanted to buy this place yourself, would you? Are you asking me or telling me? Well, it's nice to see it so busy.
Ha-ha! See why it's half price if the bevvy's pure half foam.
I need to nip over and open up or else folk'll start piling the windaes in to get their chips and curry sauce! I'm sorry, we don't speak Gaelic.
SHE HUMS "ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL" I reckon you're enjoying this, you freak.
I'm just making the most of it.
Well, I can't believe we are doing this crap.
Don't start on again.
We're in a fix, this is our way out.
Why do you keep moaning about it? Erm, I'm Dean.
Well, hello, Dean! I do part-time on the bar for Sadie.
I guess that makes me your new boss.
I think you'd better go home and get the dinner ready.
Put a front on, eh? Gentlemen.
Same again in there? Yes, please, and a half for him.
This is my son, Ronan.
Oh, I think we already met, didn't we, Ronan? Oh, well, I thought you might be glad of his services, if you've got any work going for an odd-job man around? No job too small, eh, Ronan? He's done a bit of everything round here for Sadie.
Be too big for him, what I want doing for me, then, won't it? Well, I was assuming, Mrs Williams, since you've re-opened the bar that you've scaled down your plans for a total refurbishment? I think you underestimate what me and my girls are capable of, Mr Harries.
CHEERING AND LAUGHTER Well, I'll watch this space, will I? Dad, what we gonnae do? Just drink your bloody drink and leave the thinking to me, OK? Is there a stink in here? You what? Forget it.
Yeah, that's dead rotten, man.
Well, it better be gone soon or else.
Or else what? You wanna find out? Oi! Harries, pack it in.
Just talking, "occifer".
You taking your shortcomings out on my son, again, Cameron? He needs put on a bloody lead.
And you need to catch our Katie's murderer.
What was all that about? Sure you'll find out soon enough.
It's just that he seemed to have a bit of a problem with you.
Look, what do you want? Watch it, you.
I'm on the management here, right? It's time you took a tea-break, yeah? I've got some voddie in the van.
You didn't tell me there'd been a murder? Ah, erm No, I Oh, Gil, your usual? Yup.
Chief Inspector.
How nice to see you again.
Mrs Williams, isn't it? Oh, Ellie.
I guess you heard I'm your new landlady? Well, if you don't mind my saying, I wasn't buying you in that Gor-Tex jacket.
The truth is, I thought I'd better travel incognito, you know, checking out properties.
I didn't want to raise the asking price by declaring my intention.
Anything that rubs Euan Harries up the wrong way suits me fine.
It couldn't have worked out better then, could it? Sadie, she's just been telling me about this murder enquiry that you're on.
Oh, no, no.
On the house.
Got to keep in with the law.
Or are you gonna arrest me for attempted bribery? You're lucky I'm off duty.
What's been going on here, then? Um, you've met Ann Marie? Hi.
Except I maybe didn't say I was your fiancee.
Your Mum actually told me.
So, when's the wedding? Och, a few weeks' time.
While I can still walk down the aisle without showing! No white dress for you, then? Anyway, Ellie, I can see you're no stranger to my line of business, so, next time you need those roots seeing to Ann Marie runs the hair and beauty salon.
The Kiss Kurl.
Oh, I think I'll be too busy to look in the mirror.
You've been in the hotel business before? Well, my mum and dad ran a pub.
Yeah? Where was that? England.
I'm sorry, did you want a drink? I'll have an orange juice, please? I'll have someone bring it over.
For God's sake, Ann Marie! Well, you might not tell she's no natural blonde, but I can.
Dyed hair is the least of it if you ask me.
Go on? SHE MOUTHS Got these off the train.
Well, they just left the trolleys in the corridor, didn't they? You're lucky you got away with it.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I would have paid for it if I could have, obviously.
Cheers! Cheers.
So, Dean, you live round here then? Just up the hill with my Mum.
Oh, cool.
I don't think I've ever seen a place, you know, with so much fresh air and sheep and stuff.
But I suppose you're used to it? I hate it round here.
I'd love to live in Glasgow, to be honest.
Cool.
So what do you folk do round here, you know, for a bit of fun? Fun? Yeah, you know, a bit of life.
There must be something to do.
Yeah, we just get drunk and sing folk songs.
Folk songs? Is that it? I'm kidding on, there's plenty to do in the big town.
There's clubs and pubs and shops and stuff.
Just need the money.
Yeah? What do you do for fun in London? We've only landed in the middle of a murder enquiry.
A murder? In this place? Where the hell's Shoo? CREAKING What did you say your name was again? Shanice, but my friends call me Shoo.
Do I count as a friend yet? Definitely.
KNOCK AT DOOR Shoo? You in there? What did I say about no blokes? We never.
We was just talking.
OK, drink up, please.
OK, I'm going to finish locking up.
Hans, you put the kettle on.
Ronan, move it! Better get off to your bed now, Sadie.
Mm, two minutes.
I'm pooped.
I called time half an hour ago! Just finishing my drink.
As paid for.
Don't take me for a mug, sonny.
Get out.
You want to move out the way or you might get hurt.
I said out.
Now.
I'd take your hand off me if you know what's good for you.
What the Consider yourself barred.
You want to see me take my jeans off, do you? You'd better behave or you'll make me lose my temper.
I cannae wait.
Argh! Let me go! Is that "please"? Please.
Go ask your mummy for a plaster.
What the hell have we got ourselves into? We're in the middle of a murder enquiry.
The bar-hand's the brother of the chief suspect and our sitting tenant's the cop's future mother-in-law.
The whole place is like a bleeding fish bowl.
Good job we'll soon be off to Barbados, then.
Not soon enough, if you ask me.
Look girls, I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
Let's just cut our losses and head off, yeah? What, seriously? If we stay here, we're skewered, left, right and up where the sun don't shine.
OK? Right, that's settled.
We'll leave first thing before she wakes up.
SHE SIGHS SHE GASPS Where'smy money? ALARM SOUNDS COUGHING COUGHING Shoo! There's smoke everywhere! Help! Quick, we've got to get them out of there.
Is there anybody in there? Hannah! Ellie! You stay where you are.
Sadie! Is Ellie all right? She's not outside.
Oh, my God, she must still be upstairs.
You get Sadie! Sadie, quickly! ELLIE COUGHS Ellie! Ellie! What the hell's going on? It's on fire! Oh no! LABOURED BREATHING Where are you, Ellie?! Ellie! COUGHING Ellie! What are you doing? Just get out.
Oh, my God, Ellie! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Mind her head, mind her head! Give me room.
Out the road.
Give me room! Is she OK? Is she breathing? Is she breathing? Sssh! Just let me hear! Come on! Breathe! Gil.
ELLIE COUGHS Oi! Leave it out! Shut up and breathe, woman.
LAUGHTER SIRENS WAIL I'll never take another drop, so help me.
Yeah, well you said that the last fire you started.
Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
I'm so sorry.
I can't tell you how guilty I feel.
Come on.
Let's get you in that ambulance.
I've told you I'm not going.
OK.
Don't worry, Mum.
I'll come after you in the car, OK? You coming? I've got to file a report, love, check the damage.
Catch you there? No, but On you go.
I won't be long.
There's a lot of nasty damage in there.
Not what you had in mind, eh? Not quite.
Only, Well, if you'd rather someone took it off your hands? What? Well, now's not perhaps the time, but we're both business people, Mrs Williams.
God, the vultures swoop quick round here, don't they? Well, see how you feel.
Phew, lucky escape, eh? I don't know what you were so bloody helpful for.
I'm not a total bastard.
Yeah? Here, come on.
Just pack it in, eh? You don't need to be like that.
You're married, remember? And I'm about to get married.
Aye, only to make me jealous.
I wish I never had to see you again, Euan.
Just get your mum moved out of that hotel, right? You seen them fireman? Talk about fit! Behind every cloud Mainly smoke damage.
Apart from your room, Ellie.
That's trashed.
You'll have to bunk up with Hannah, buy some new clothes.
Yeah! An excuse to spend some of the stash, at last VOICES ECHO No! I just wanted to make sure that everyone's OK before I head off.
Yeah, yeah, we're fine.
Just go home.
Oh, right, right.
Well, the next time you need someone pulling from a towering inferno Er, yeah, thanks.
Ellie was just saying how amazing you were.
I'm just glad she's OK.
SHE BREATHS HEAVILY Ellie! (What's that?) Go and get the girls.
Our whole stash? I'm sorry.
I don't want sorry.
I want my money! It's gone.
You should've let us keep mine and Josie's in the van and it'd still be safe.
Well, it's too late now.
DOOR CREAKS It was you, wasn't it? WASN'T IT?! You stupid I was just trying to scare them out.
Well, you nearly burnt them alive.
And see if I hadn't put out that fire over those floorboards, you could have got done for a lot more than arson 'Well, it's not going to be easy.
'She's covered her tracks good,' boss.
I said find her! Aaargh! Aaargh! Can I take it that this morning's exodus is cancelled? So, to sum up, we've got no money, no passports and we're stuck under a spotlight in the middle of nowhere.
Essentially, yeah.
Look, we got away from Roy and the cops.
We've got a roof over our heads .
.
and we've even got a potential income.
We're safe, we've got each other.
We'll just have to start over, yeah? I mean, come on, SHE LAUGHS .
.
things could be worse.