How To Make It In America s01e01 Episode Script

( Theme music playing ) ( distant chatter) Fuck it.
- All the girls see the - Boy - Look at his kicks - Boy - Look at this car - Boy - All I say is - Oh boy Look, mami, I'm no good, I'm so hood Clap at your soldiers, sober, then leave after it's over Killa, I'm not your companion or your man standin' Hit me when you wanna get rammed in, I'll be scramblin' With lots of mobsters shop for lobsters Cops and robbers, listen, every block is blocka A'ight, Avi.
Stay strong, Hebrew.
( Knocks on door) - ( water runs) -( blows ) - I've gotta piss, yo.
- ( sighs ) Oh, yeah.
I can't believe you actually got up this early.
Up early? I never slept.
- I just left that tattooed girl.
- ( zipper zings ) She's not a lesbian? She is but she makes an exception for black dudes.
- You're black? - Black enough.
- You were smoking? - No.
Ah.
You know you owe me $100 if you were smoking.
Yeah yeah.
What's up with these decks, man? - I've got to get these out of my apartment.
- Nobody wants them.
- Sony, bro.
- Don't be sorry.
Whatever happened to Mr.
I-Can-Sell- Igloos-To-Eskimos? You can't sell skateboards without the skater.
Wilfredo's officially a missing person now.
Nobody can ind him.
Fucking Wilfredo, man.
The guy could've just told me he hated my graphic.
Don't take all the credit, Ben.
You heard Wilfredo stopped taking his meds, right? What are you doing? I told Gingy we'd be there by 8:00.
I've got to be at work at 11:00.
Come on, let's go.
- Give me five minutes.
- Five minutes? Are you kidding me? Come on.
( Hip-hop music playing ) No no no no.
No dancing.
Come on, man.
Stop.
Ben: See, that just sounds exhausting to me.
Exhausting? That's the triple-bang session.
Three times before sunrise.
Yeah, well, I'd rather do it once well.
I do it well- three times.
You don't chafe from all this? Yo, Ben, I think it's been so long, you forget what it's like.
- It hasn't been that long.
- Boy: Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Anthony Rogers.
I'm out here today selling peanut M&Ms- not for no Boy Scout troop or no basketball team.
I'm out here hustling for my damn self, so I can make some money and be a positive member of my community and stay away from drugs and the disgusting fiends that use them.
- Candy, sir? - Man: No thanks, buddy.
Oh, snap, Ben.
Where'd you get those? I had these before you were born.
How much you want for them? They're not gonna tit you.
Not for me, yo.
I'll flip those in an hour.
Ben: You know how many offers I get on these? It's not about money.
It's about respect.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Look at you two- all that respect and you're still taking the train to work.
When I'm your age, I'ma have me a Mercedes Maybach.
And you'll be a dope ass chauffeur.
Man, whatever.
I'm coolin' in New York, I'm chillin' in New York The hoods is on my block and the brothers at the court The baseball hats is on and the projects is calm - Dreamtime's extended - And highly recommended - Oh, morning, sunshine.
- Morning.
Oh.
Ooh! Morning, meth lab.
Meth? Come on, Gingy.
I'm old school.
I'm like cocaine and caviar.
Yeah, you're more like Red Bull and Pringles.
Cam, what are you doing? Yo, give me like five minutes, I'll be good to go.
I don't have five minutes.
"Artforum" is coming at 19:00 and I had to beg them to cover this show.
All right, well, let's get something to eat first.
I'll go to Cosmo's.
What do you want? Hell, yeah.
Get me a bacon, egg and cheese on a roll.
Stop it, you guys.
Listen, nobody is going anywhere.
I put every dollar that I have into this show.
- I need you guys to focus.
- Why do you believe in Tim, anyway? Because Tim has talent and if I don't sell every one of his photos tonight, then I am going to end up broke, living out of my car.
Your car's nicer than my crib, Gingy.
You could never be broke, Gingy.
Come on.
Yeah, in the fund we trust, girl.
Actually, assholes, I don't take money from my father and you know that.
I just need a little bit of help this morning.
Now can I count on you two or what? ( Reggae music playing ) So-- so my friend Jane specifically asked me if you would be at the opening tonight.
- Which one's Jane? - Gingy: Oh, she's cute.
She has short hair, she writes for "Nylon" and she'll definitely have sex with you.
Really? Yeah, I was- I was actually gonna talk to you about tonight.
- Oh, don't, Ben.
- Gingy, I'm sorry, but I am officially retired from New York City nightlife, all right? - You know that.
- I can't believe you're still scared - of running into Rachel.
- I am not.
Why? Did-- did you talk to her? Is she coming? Would that be weird if she did? No, not for me.
She might feel weird about it.
You know what? I was gonna make it a surprise, but screw it.
I want to give you one of these photos- one of Tim's photos-- as a thank you for all the help.
Ben: That's great.
I mean, these are a framed reminder of what losers all my friends are.
Oh my God.
Eww.
I've had it with you.
What? I didn't mean to say losers, okay? I meant to say "degenerates.
" - Gingy, you know I'm coming.
- Good.
Shit.
I'm late for work.
Cam, peace, man.
( Hip-hop music playing ) - Ben.
- Yeah? - Where's the Barneys tag? - Lost it.
That's the third time this month.
I'm gonna have to dock your paycheck $20 to replace it.
- Found it.
- Looky looky.
- Yeah, there it is.
- Now put it on and keep it on.
Ben.
Ben Epstein, right? - Yeah.
- David.
David Kaplan from high school.
Oh, right.
Yeah, David.
- What's up, dude? - David.
- How you doing? - Good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I'm doing great.
I'm doing great.
I'm managing a little hedge fund.
Took a bit of a hit, but still got a few pesos to play with.
- Yeah.
- Here, let me give you this.
- This is Natalia.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- We've got to hang out, bro.
- I'll call you.
- Please.
Fuck.
You should've seen this kid in high school.
This kid used to make these t-shirts that were the shit.
Hey hey, you still doing art? 'Cause I collect now, by the way.
You ever hear of Damien Hirst? - Yeah, of course.
- I just got one of those.
He needs jeans.
Which are cool jeans? Let me show you some new jeans we got from Japan.
- Yeah? - I think you might like 'em.
Yeah.
Are they gonna fit my fat ass? 'Cause I happen to be oddly shaped.
-( Man speaking Spanish over radio ) -( knife chopping) ( door opens ) Mmm, smells good.
( Speaks Spanish ) Wow.
Grandma cooking up a feast for us.
It's not just two of us.
Guess who come home from Ossining? Your cousin Rene.
( Camera clicks ) He got the good behavior.
He wanted make a surprise for you.
Wow.
Grandma, I forgot your Malta at the supermarket.
- I'll be right back, okay? - Man: Yo yo, that who I think it is, man? My little cousin.
-( Chuckles ) - Where you going, man? Huh? You didn't come to visit me.
You didn't send nothing for my commissary.
What's the matter, papa? You forgot about me? - Never.
Never, bro.
- Give me a kiss.
(Sighs) ( hip-hop music playing ) - What the fuck are you doing? - Need a lift? - Why do you have Gingy's car? - Get in.
- ( Tires screech ) - Whoa whoa.
- All right, where are we going? - The docks.
Why? Butter-soft Marc Buchanan leather jackets.
Deal goes away in an hour.
Get in on this with me.
Hell no, man.
I'm going home to take a nap before Gingy's opening.
Come on, yo.
Easy money.
We'll have fun.
Why are you so desperate to make a buck all of a sudden? You get that gay girl pregnant? - Hun? - Night.
- Fuck it.
I'ma tell you.
- Tell me what? - My cousin Rene came home - Already? And he wants his loan paid back.
- What loan? - Huh? What the fuck are you talking about? What loan? The five grand for the Wilfredo Gomez pro-model.
- He needs it by Monday.
- What? No no no no no no.
You told me that was an investment from a Wall Street guy who owed you a favor.
Investment, loan-- what's the difference? The difference? The difference is your lunatic cousin breaking my fucking arm, man.
Nobody's gonna break your arm.
Cam, he threw you out of a window over a video game.
( Chuckles ) That was the first floor.
It was a joke.
Ben, relax.
I've got it all worked out.
We're good with the leathers.
That's your idea of having it all worked out? Bootleg leather jackets? Well, it's the leathers or we sell coke for my cousin at Gingy's opening.
All right, if I go with you to the docks, I'm smoking without a $100 penalty.
Deal.
- ( Tires screech ) - ( cars honking ) Cam: All right, all right.
Not bad, not bad.
- How many of these you got? - Man: How many you want? - Cam: Uh - Is this selvage? Fuck selvage.
That's hand-dyed indigo from a left-handed weave.
- No way.
- Man: Came off the boat from Osaka bound for the Jean Shop on West 14th Street until it met me.
- How much? - Three grand.
Yo, Ben, we don't have three grand.
Focus on the pleathers.
Yo, pal, that ain't no pleather.
What you think? ( Whispers ) it's real.
( Normal voice ) Nametag's spelled wrong- straight up bootleg.
Bad news, my dude- these are straight bootleg.
- That ain't no bootleg.
- Ben: Last time I checked, Buchanan spelled Mark with a I don't give a shit if he spells it with a KKK.
- That's some real leather.
- KKK? Really? I'll tell you what-- give me $500 for the lot - and I'll throw in a blender.
- $400.
- Go fuck yourself.
- $500 it is.
Yo, Ben, how much cash you got on you? (Jazz music playing ) -( people chatting ) - Man: No no no, it's not like that.
You see, I didn't End photography.
Photography found me.
I was living in a halfway house, I stole a camera from The Wiz and I just started shooting.
I mean, true art is all on the streets.
Everything else is bullshit.
By the way, I'm having a very special deal on my 20x24 prints.
Very cool for my Japanese friends.
Konichiwa.
I appreciate it.
There you are.
What up? What up, fool? - Domingo.
- Look good, man.
How you feeling? Dang, Ben.
Put a smile on that face.
- Man, it's a party.
- I'm smiling.
- On the inside, I'm smiling.
Yeah.
- All right.
- Well, holla at me later.
- All right, man.
- Finally.
- How's it going? - You moving units or what? - So far so good.
It's good so far.
I still can't believe people actually pay for this.
- I've got to get myself a camera.
- Yeah, do that.
- Thank you.
- All right, so is Rachel here? - Um, no, but Jane is.
- Wait, I'm gonna catch up with your pops.
Leave him alone, Cam.
What are you talking about? Your dad loves me.
- Gingy, I'm really not ready for this.
- No, it's fine.
- Hello, Jane.
- Hi, Gingy.
- This is- this is Ben.
- Ben.
Hey.
Hi.
- Ooh.
- Oh, wow.
Are you okay? - Yes, I'm fine.
- I think I just broke half your face off.
- It's okay.
- Does anybody need anything to drink? - Would you like anything? - Want ice or something? No, I'm all right.
See ya.
- Okay.
- So I think we've actually met before.
- We have? - Yes.
- You don't remember? - No, of course, I remember.
- Where was it? - I can't believe you don't remember.
Come on, give me a hint.
Okay, fine.
It was at this really beautiful loft in Chinatown.
Oh, Nico's loft.
- Yes.
- That was my birthday party.
I can't believe I totally crashed your birthday party.
You didn't bring me a gift.
What the fuck? Listen.
I'm having some people over afterwards.
You should-- you should come by.
Yeah? I don't know if I can tonight, - but thank you, though.
- That's too bad.
( Hip-hop music playing ) It's Cold Stone Creamery but for donuts.
I call it Build-A-Nut.
- No, Cam.
- You pick your own toppings.
Camo frosting for the dudes and strawberry-flavored high-heel sprinkles for the ladies.
No.
You keep coming to me with these crazy ideas, and maybe some of them might be good, but everybody's got ideas.
Nobody wants to put in the work.
Don't tell me what you're gonna do.
Show me what you've done and then maybe, finally, I'll write you that check.
- How many zeros on that check? -( both laugh) - Hey, Rachel.
- Hey, Ben.
How are you? Ben, this is Darren.
Darren, Ben.
- Hey, Ben.
Nice to meet you.
- Darren.
Hey.
- So how you been? - Good.
- Good.
- Really good.
Quit smoking.
- Really? That's great.
- Yeah.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
Hey, was that you in that photo back there? Oh, yeah, that's- that's me.
- You know I like it.
- Yeah.
- Maybe I can use it in the bar.
- Yeah, umm Darren is opening this hotel in the Bowery.
Darren: And she's got a good eye, this one.
- Oh, yeah.
- Cam: There she is.
Hey.
Aww.
Sorry, but I've got to steal this man for a second.
- Good seeing you.
- Of course.
Bye Ben.
- You okay? - No, I'm fine, yeah.
Dude, she doesn't even look that good.
You had her at her prime.
No offense.
- Mm-hmm.
None taken.
- After-party at GI Jane's.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah, we should definitely do that.
-( R&B music playing ) -( people chattering ) Hey, Cam.
- Hey, you made it.
- What up, Jane? - Yo, Do! - Domingo: Hey, what's up? - Hey, Jane.
- Hey.
Have you ever tried absinthe? - Uh, no.
- I'm obsessed with it.
It has to be the real deal- the stuff with thujone.
That's the stuff that makes you go crazy.
- Crazy, huh? - Yeah.
Pour me a shot too, sexy.
Oh hey.
Ben, this is Marco.
Marco is a painter.
He just got back from a solo show in Mexico City.
- Oh.
- And I sold it out too, so yay for me.
Wow.
Yay.
Hey, I'll be right back, okay? Au fight.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I would tear that ass up.
- You would? Really? - Cam: Hey, yo, Ben.
- Uh, Ben.
- Will you excuse me? We're gonna leave with these Wilhelmina chicks.
- Already? - Mm-hmm.
And that's what's happening.
We're gonna go get some grub at the Blue Ribbon, courtesy of Harold's Conde Nast expense account.
- You in or what? - Actually, I think I'm good, man.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
How are you gonna handle that Jane situation? I don't know.
Something'll happen.
- Out of the bottle? Really? Really? - Mm-hmm.
If the lifestyle's crazy, that's how I roll.
- All right, man.
Pick up with you later.
- Holla at me, man.
- I will, I will.
- Yo, Ben, Thanks for coming with me to the docks today, by the way.
- No doubt.
- That shit really meant a lot to me, - that you would still do that for me.
- Of course.
Oh, you're gonna help me flip the jackets, right? - Man, hell no.
I'll do that.
- ( laughs) Oh, by the way, if I was you, I would push Jane into the bedroom and tongue her down real fast.
- Yeah yeah.
- Don't wait till 4:00 in the morning -to make a move.
I know you.
- What? Me? No no no, I'm gonna go for the triple bang session.
Yo, he who hesitates masturbates.
Au fight.
(Jazz music playing ) I was out chopping cotton My brother baling hay And at dinnertime we stopped And walked back to the house to eat And mama holla'd out the back door "Y'all remember Wipe your feet" I think we're gonna bail, Jane.
- Let me walk you out.
- Bye, guys.
I got some news this morning from Choctaw Ridge Dude, stop being a cock block.
Marco, aren't you gay? Gay? Yeah, you wish I was gay so I'd let you put your dick in my mouth.
Wow, I don't even really know how to respond to that.
( Footsteps ) So, thanks for coming, Marco.
- What are you doing, Jane? - Come on, I'll walk you out.
"Pass the biscuits, please" It was nice to meet you, Marco.
"In the lower 40 I've got to plow" And Mama said it was a shame About Billy Joe anyhow Seems like nothing ever comes to no good Up on Choctaw Ridge And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off The Tallahatchie Bridge.
( doorbell buzzing ) - Rachel: What? - Rachel, I just want to talk to you.
- Ben, you've got to call me tomorrow.
- No.
No no no.
Please please please please.
- Just give me five minutes, okay? - No, Ben.
I'm not gonna try to make out with you or anything.
- Unless you want me to.
- Please go home.
( Lighter clicking ) Rachel! Rachel! You said we'd always befriends! Whassup? You're not being a very good friend now! - Rachel! - Jesus! Ben, go home.
- You look so beautiful right now.
- Go home.
- Rachel, I miss you.
- Shh! - I'm.
.
- Hey, Ben - Oh.
- why don't you just go home, buddy? You.
Hey.
Hey.
How you doing? Why don't you come down here so I can kick your ass? "Buddy"? Who says "buddy"? Rachel! I'm not ( pop music playing ) (woman vocalizing ) ( car honks ) ( knocks "Shave and a Haircut" ) Cam: Yo, Ben, get up, man! It's time to get paid.
Go away.
Yo, come on, man.
You said you were gonna help me flip the jackets.
- Get up, man.
- It's Saturday! The flea market's Sunday, asshole.
Go away.
Fuck the flea market.
Come on, man.
- We're gonna go old-school, bro.
-( knocks on door) Real leathers, real leathers, $150 apiece.
Marc Buchanan butter-soft leather jackets, $150 apiece.
Get 'em while it's still chilly.
Hey, get one for your boyfriend.
There you go.
Check one out.
Check one right there.
- Real leathers, real leathers- - Okay, guys.
Let's see the vendor's permit.
What? Oh yeah.
Yeah, it's right here.
Let's see it.
You want to call your friend back here, please? Yeah.
Yeah, I'll do that.
(Sighs) I can't believe you hitched out on me like that.
You're out of your mind, Cam.
Did you think that fat ass was gonna catch you? You're missing the point.
I'm not running from the police, okay? Not at my age.
Not over some fake-ass leather jackets.
We did well, man.
What are you talking about? We're three grand short.
So you'll deal with Rene, you'll figure something out for the rest.
Oh, word.
it's like that now? All on me? Hey, look, I never wanted to borrow money from your shady-ass cousin in the first place.
Shady or not, at least I'm still going for it, not working for the man like you.
What are you, 12? How long are you gonna keep saying "fuck the man" for? Until we are the man.
Well, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but it's time you grow the fuck up, Cam.
- Like you did? - Yeah.
One failure and it's a wrap.
Now you're all grown up, working at Barneys.
Ben, I'm sorry I lied to you about that money.
I just wanted us to actually do something for once, not just watch as it happens to all our friends.
I know where we can get Rene's money.
( Hip-hop music playing ) Fuck a downtown loft.
It's all about uptown luxury.
I love all this limestone.
My dudes, welcome to Villa Kappa.
Ooh, I guess we know which one of you paid attention in high school.
Oh, fuck that.
I barely graduated, but anything is still possible in America, baby- even for some loud-mouthed Jew.
Hey, where's your girlfriend? Oh.
Oh, the girl from Barneys? - Yeah.
- Natalia? Oh, no no, she's not my girlfriend.
She's a pro.
I got her off the Eros Guide.
You know.
Hey, you guys want a beer? - Cam: I'm good.
- Ben: I'm good, thanks.
All rig ht! What you got for me? Okay, this is my boy Tim.
He is the hottest photographer in the game right now.
He just had his first show this weekend in Chinatown.
- Sold out.
- Tim is the man.
I'm telling you-- this is a steal at three grand.
I love that.
Let's see it.
Okay.
Wow.
- That's nice, Ben.
- It's sick, right? That's real cool.
That's just not for me, though.
David- I mean, look at this.
Really? - I'm telling you- - I hear you.
You know what? I don't do black and white.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Yeah yeah.
- Cam: But, David, you've got to think of this as an investment.
Right.
I totally get that, I just- it's not worth it for me, though.
- Black and white, it's- - Cam, Cam.
- He doesn't want to do it.
It's fine.
- I'm really sorry, guys.
Yo, Ben.
Ben.
Bro, you want me to loan you that money, though? What? Honestly, you look like you're about to cry.
No, man, I'm not gonna take your money.
No, it's all good.
Actually, guys, you know, there's a way you might be able - ( whispers ) I'm not gonna do that.
- to pay me back.
You don't happen to know the doorman at Avenue, do you? - Dez.
Yeah.
- Dez.
Right.
Ben: Yeah, I play ball with Dez every Wednesday.
- You do? - Ben: Yeah.
That guy really hates me.
Is there any way you guys could maybe make him not hate me so much? Oh yeah.
Yeah, we can do that.
- Really? That would be amazing.
- We've got you, man.
- ( Video game noises ) - Man: Oh fuck.
Man #2: Man, you fucking suck.
Up yours, motherfucker.
Go ahead.
Take that.
There you go, you fucking dick.
Idiot.
- ( Man laughs) - Man: Oh, that's bullshit.
Rene: Yo, bring my cousin in.
Yo, you ever try this Rasta Monsta stuff here? - No.
What's that? - Yeah, man.
I just bought the exclusive tri-state area distribution rights for this.
Jamaicans make it.
They put some kind of nutrients in there.
One drink of this shit, you'll be fucking all night.
- Ooh! Ooh, yeah! -( men laughing ) White kids are gonna love this stuff, man, right? Hell yeah.
Look at this shit.
Hmm? I didn't even have to hurt anybody, bro.
My man, stepping it up.
My man.
I guess we're not the losers you thought we were.
No, you still are.
( laughs ) One look at one of those skate decks anybody would tell you that.
Right, Jabar? I kinda like the elephant.
Yo, shut the fuck up, Jabar.
Who asked you? Yo, grab a cup.
Grab a cup.
Here you go.
Ready? One for you.
One for you.
To not having to break my cousin's arm.
Go ahead.
Go for it.
- How that taste? Like that? - Both: Mmm.
Mmm.
- Tastes good.
- Yeah, that's something.
- Rene: Yeah, baby.
- That shit is good.
- So, Rene.
- Hmm? How would you like to loan us another $3,000? What this fool just say? (Guys chuckle) What are you doing? Fuck the man.
Right, Cam? ( Disco music playing ) Yo, the kid is back.
Me and Ben, we're making jeans.
Premium denim.
Premium.
$900 a pair and don't ask me for no discounts.
'Cause I know how you are.
Whoa! Oh man.
Get off the phone.
- I'll call you back.
- Pick it up.
We're gonna get run over.
Got myself together, yeah Gonna get higher Huh! And move it on Got myself together, yeah Gonna get higher Huh! And move it on.