How We Roll (2022) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
Here's a crazy story.
The craziest part is, it's true.
I got laid off from the assembly line on December 23rd.
I know.
Merry Christmas.
I had a family, an upside-down mortgage, and an '85 Silverado with a coat hanger for an antenna.
But I also had a dream.
See, when life kicks you in the ass, you got to hang in there, because sometimes the worst day of your life ends up being the best thing that could've happened.
- Morning.
- Hey.
What's wrong? This cereal tastes weird.
These aren't Lucky Charms, they're called Magic Squares.
Well, they were magically cheaper and that was lucky for us.
There's no leprechaun, just a creepy wizard.
We're cutting back for a while, hon.
It turned my milk black.
Sounds like that wizard has a couple tricks up his sleeve.
Come on, grab your backpack.
Don't forget your tap shoes, the recital's tonight.
Already wearing 'em.
I'll go practice in the garage until it's time to go.
I'm closing at the salon tonight.
Can you pick up laundry detergent? I have a coupon.
Coupons.
It's like handing the cashier a note that says, "Hello.
I've failed my family.
Could I borrow 50 cents for this jug of soap?" You didn't fail anybody, okay? You got laid off.
And you've applied everywhere.
You're gonna get something.
Come on, you okay? Yeah.
- Yes.
- You got in late last night.
Sorry, I was at the bowling alley.
You've gone every night this week.
Yeah, I've been talking with some of other guys who got laid off.
It's a support group.
Like AA, except everybody's drinking and feels totally fine about it.
Okay, Tom, just tell me what's going on.
Okay.
There's no support group.
Hmm.
I had a hunch.
Archie's been letting me bowl for free.
He's coaching me.
I rolled a 268 last night.
And that was with an open frame.
Great.
Yeah, a 268 would put me on the money list at any PBA tournament.
Okay.
Just saying.
If I had rolled that last night at the Del Taco Open, I would've made more money in one day than two months at the factory.
And we'd be knee-deep in Del Taco.
What are you saying? I'm saying I could make good money in pro tournaments.
I'm saying I'm tired of busting my ass and us barely getting by.
And Sam's right, Magic Squares suck.
My family deserves Lucky Charms and full-price laundry detergent.
Okay.
I've heard you say you want to be a professional bowler, but I thought you always meant it like when you say you wish dogs could talk.
I'm 35, I didn't go to college, and the one job I'm qualified to do just laid me off.
I'm better at bowling than anything I've ever done.
Maybe now's the time to take my shot.
Uh Say something.
Come on, pretend you're a talking dog.
Knock, knock.
Just bringing over a layoff care package.
Tuna casserole and a six-pack.
There's also a gift card in there for Bass Pro Shop.
They're having a big sale this weekend on bear spray.
We don't need bear spray, Helen.
Well, you'd be whistling a different tune when some pot-smoking drifter is breaking in.
What? It won't kill him.
It'll just take him down.
Then you can decide what to do with him later.
Hey, have I come at a bad time? Ooh.
How can I help? - We were just talking about my job situation.
- Uh-huh.
Maybe I don't want to work in a factory anymore, Ma.
What? Four generations of Smallwoods have worked that line.
The factory has been very good to us.
Yeah, until the security guard walked me to my car, cut up my ID and frisked me.
I got to run Sam to school.
Thanks for the casserole.
Yeah.
While I was making it, I realized my furnace filters need changing.
Message received.
I'll swing by later.
We'll talk more tonight.
Okay? I love you.
I love you more! Gonna get that starter fixed.
I'm also gonna fix that glove box.
Hey, play your cards right, this'll be yours someday.
What are you doing? Hiding my tap shoes in my backpack.
Hiding? Why? Because I carried them into school yesterday and there's already two guys calling me "Ma'am" instead of "Sam.
" No, hold on, no, no, don't do that.
Don't be ashamed of what you want to do.
You get one life.
Do what you love.
Did you love working at the factory? You know how, when Mom makes meatloaf, we both say we love it? It was like that.
Check it out.
I bought this for you.
I used my allowance.
A lottery scratcher? How'd you even get this? You got to be 18 to buy one of these.
Not if you go to the guy at the Mini Mart.
The kid in front of me bought a grape-flavored cigar.
Sam, we don't solve our problems with gambling.
But all you need is three horseshoes and you win $50,000.
I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm returning this and getting you your money back.
And stay away from that guy at the Mini Mart.
Grape does not mean a safer cigar.
Hang on, Dad.
I forgot my lunch.
Horseshoe Come on Horseshoe Horse.
That's just mean.
For the last time, keep your elbow in on your release, or I'll sew it to your damn body and you'll have to take a yoga class just to wipe your ass.
I'm sorry, Arch.
My game's off.
I just told Jen this morning I wanted to be a pro bowler.
Yes! Finally! I've been waiting for this for 20 years.
How'd it go? She stared at me, didn't say anything.
As if I had just told her I wanted to be a pro bowler.
Listen, I've been married a few times over the years.
Yeah, I know.
I've worked my way up from ring bearer to best man.
If you get married again, I'm gonna be the bride.
Not if I get there first.
My point is communication is the heartbeat of a marriage.
You got to make Jen understand bowling can give her a life she's never had.
Yeah.
I think that's what she's afraid of.
Oh, hold on, I've been saving something for this moment.
This is gonna happen, Smalls.
A-and you're gonna need a manager.
All right? But we've been friends for a long time, so I won't take 20%.
Let's meet in the middle at 18.
Lew, how is 18 meeting in the middle? See, this is why you need me.
Someone who understands business.
That's me.
I got you, man.
Here you go, champ.
Huh? A pro jersey? "Archie's Lanes.
Home of the Curly Fry.
" - Thanks, Arch.
- Go ahead, try it on.
I hope that thing has pockets.
You can have somewhere to put all the money you're not gonna win.
Carl, why would I need pockets if I'm not gonna win any money? Obviously.
There's no other Don't listen to that fool.
You're gonna wear that thing on ESPN someday.
Yeah.
Oh.
Uh, always make sure the Archie's logo faces the camera.
Guys, I appreciate it, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.
I really don't think it's gonna happen.
Well, I know it's gonna happen.
I've always known.
So lose the negativity, man.
You sound like your mother.
I'm not trying to be negative, I'm trying to be realistic.
You want to be realistic? Fine.
You have the same average as pros on the tour.
A natural gift for breaking to the pocket on every shot.
You were born to bowl.
When you came out of the womb, I bet ten doctors fell down.
Realistic? Please.
I ever tell you the story about when I wanted to open my own alley? - Yeah.
- Yeah, you told everybody that damn story.
Everybody kept telling me that a Black man would never be able to get a business loan.
And guess what.
They were right.
Sons of bitches.
But then my uncle got hit by a garbage truck.
He sued the crap out of the city and here I am.
This is your garbage truck, Tom.
You just have to have the courage to step in front of it.
I don't know why you always want me to do this.
I've seen you change the transmission in a Buick and gut a deer all by yourself.
Well, excuse me for wanting to spend a little quality time with my son.
Hey, come down off that ladder.
I've got some big news and I don't want you to fall.
I pulled a string at the Dayco plant today and I got you an interview for the assembly line.
What? I-I applied there.
The guy said they weren't hiring.
You didn't walk in on him and the sales lady doing the no pants dance a few years back.
You'll get the job.
Oh.
Well, I was all set to say "you're welcome.
" I don't know what the hell to say now.
I appreciate it, Ma.
I I've just been thinking that maybe now's the time to take my shot at the PBA.
Oh, Tommy, you need a guaranteed paycheck.
You really want to put Jenny and Sam at risk so you can bowl? No.
Oh.
Don't get all sideways.
I'm not.
You're right.
If I have a real job offer, I have to take it.
Now, thanks to you, I got one.
- Just trying to be realistic.
- Yeah, we're both always trying to be realistic.
Maybe that's our problem.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about taking a chance every once in a while, Ma, for a better life.
I mean, have you been on one date since Dad died? I-it's been 20 years.
Well, I'm an old woman.
It's a little late to be dusting off home plate.
You're not old.
You have a lot to offer.
What about that neighbor who's always bringing you tomatoes? He's got sideburns and drives a Fiat.
If I want to spend time with a hooligan, I'll visit someone on death row.
See? Another excuse.
Another excuse to not do something.
This is why you're who you are.
And who am I, exactly? Someone who told me to always play it safe.
"Stay in the middle of the herd," you'd say.
"The cows at the front, they're the first to get slaughtered.
" I'm just trying to protect you.
Yeah, I know.
I still am.
I know.
- The way you need to protect your family.
- I know! Which reminds me, there's a can of bear spray hidden in your house.
If someone tries to break in, call me and I'll tell you where it is! - Unbelievable.
- Sweetie, you were amazing.
I don't know much about dance, but I know you won.
It was a recital, not a competition.
Sam, you kicked everybody's ass and I'm proud of you.
All right, my little superstar, get ready for bed, it's a school night.
Hey, Dad, you know how we were talking in the truck this morning? I think this is what I want to do.
What'd you talk about in the truck? Life, dreams, tap dance.
Guy stuff.
Tom, I know you're not thrilled about taking that job at the plant.
Actually, I think I figured something out tonight.
When we got to the recital, I was pissed.
I know.
But I think that lady had the parking space first.
Not that, and no, she didn't.
The turn signal is a contract.
I was pissed about not bowling.
I always thought that's what I was supposed to do in life.
Sitting in that theater, thinking, "This is my last chance, and as soon as I take that new job, it's gone.
" Then my kid takes the stage.
Got my arm around my wife.
And I realize, I'm not a pro bowler.
I'm a dad and a husband.
That's what I am.
I don't have to be anything else.
Tell me I'm wrong.
I wish I could, but I can't.
And that's okay.
You know, everybody thinks the hardest thing to do in bowling is to pick up the 7-10 split.
But it's not.
It's actually the 4-6-7-9-10 split.
It's called the Greek Church.
A handful of guys can pick that up on their best day.
I did it one night.
Then I go to this bar.
See this beautiful girl.
Way out of my league.
Any other night, I wouldn't've had the guts, but that night, I had this "Greek Church" confidence.
So I asked her to dance.
Month later, she's pregnant.
Week after that, married at the courthouse.
Later that night, honeymoon suite at the Super 8.
You knew how to treat a girl.
I had a coupon.
See, the way I see it, bowling isn't what I'm supposed to do with my life, it's what led me to my life.
Hmm.
Where you going? Bedroom.
There's some things we didn't do at the Super 8.
We're doing 'em tonight.
But the only thing we didn't do at Well, I see you finally decided to start keeping your elbow in, now that you're not going pro and it doesn't matter.
Hey, you got to do right by your family, Smalls.
I understand.
Thanks, Lew.
It's a damn waste of talent.
It's like telling Nicki Minaj to wear an overcoat.
Look at this.
Suede Wade is in the tenth frame and he's 20 pins behind what you just bowled in a practice game.
Suede Wade.
God, I hate that dude.
But that's a clean-ass hat.
One of the top ten ranked bowlers in the country, about to win a major with a lower score than what my boy just put up.
Good for him.
He's probably single, no family, miserable.
He's got five kids.
He married a panty model.
Yeah, I heard he drives a Maserati.
How's your truck running, Smallwood? Come on, Carl! Look, I know who I am.
I like who I am, and I'm happy.
It's his last ball.
Don't you want to see if you beat his score? Nope.
Don't care.
We can see your ass in the reflection, Thomas.
Wow, look at Sammy tapping his little heart out.
He is so good.
I know, he's got a real passion for it.
You know what I have a real passion for? That tall, sexy daddy in the back.
- Oh, my God.
- What? You're sleeping with a dad, why can't I? No, Helen just walked in.
Would you mind stabbing me in the heart with your scissors? - Hi! - Hey.
Good to see you.
Hey, hey.
I was about to take lunch Oh.
But I guess I have time for one more.
This is quite a surprise.
- You told me I should drop by.
- I did? The night Tommy brought you home to meet me? That was 12 years ago.
Well, here I am.
- Okay.
- Oh So what are you thinking? Well, I've had the same hairstyle for 30 years.
- I'm not a fan of change.
- I understand.
You stick with what works in life.
There's an argument to be made for that.
You ask the people on the Hindenburghow they feel about taking unnecessary chances.
Got it.
So, um what do we want to do? I already did what I had to do, and Tommy barely spoke to me at the recital.
If you're talking about getting him the job, he's fine.
He knows you only did it because you care.
That's right, I do care.
And I know that you do, too.
He needs to do the right thing for his family.
Tom always does the right thing for his family.
- I just needed to speak my piece.
- Yeah.
I get it.
You're a mom.
- It's your job to keep him safe.
- That's right.
And it's my job to keep him happy.
Oh, what-what about your hair? Oh, I had a guy let me cut in front of him in line at the grocery store today.
Gonna stick with what works.
- Hey, how was your, uh - Sit.
I have two questions.
Question one.
Why is there a can of bear spray duct-taped to the back of our toilet? I'll take care of it.
Great.
Question two.
Why are you taking a job you don't want? What do you mean, "don't want"? I get to drive 1,046 bolts into brake drums every day.
And they let me wear a hairnet.
You're doing it because it's the right thing to do for our family.
Yes, we talked about this.
We did.
And I thought a lot about it.
You should do the right thing for our family.
So here's the plan.
You have a 210 bowling average in your last 36 games of league play.
This qualifies you for PBA membership.
You'll start doing regional tournaments.
The first one is in three months at Cuyahoga Falls.
Horrible town.
Enjoy.
Now, uh, if you don't place in the top third, we get nothing and we lose our entry fee, which is bad.
But if you can win just one regional, it covers all of your bowling expenses till the end of the year.
- Jen - Don't interrupt, babe.
The ultimate goal is, of course, to win a major.
You'll earn exemption so you can enter any PBA event you want and ideally bowl in the PBA Championship.
No, honey, stop.
I'm fine.
I don't need to do this.
Actually, you do.
You're not the only one in this family with a dream.
Your son wants to dance on Broadway.
You need to show him what's possible.
I want to open my own salon.
I'm gonna need you to finish in the top ten at a major to make that happen.
I mapped out driving routes, budgeted motel costs, gas money.
With me picking up extra shifts, we can go for six months.
And after that, we reassess.
Sweetie, I I can't do it.
I thought you'd say that.
So I stopped off at the bowling alley after work to talk to Archie.
He helped me pick this out.
If you're gonna be a pro bowler, you can't keep using that crappy, chipped-up ball you've had for the last ten years.
Oh.
We'll be selling the snow blower to pay for it.
You'll be shoveling this winter, but Archie said you could lose a few pounds.
Guy gives you curly fries for 30 years, calls you fat.
Try the holes, babe.
Already drilled.
No returns.
What if it doesn't work out? But what if it does? Look you and your mom had a tough life.
You lost some important things.
But you married me.
And I say why can't we be the family who wins? Do you know how many wives there are who'd say, "Forget the paying job, just bowl and see what happens"? One.
There is one and you married her.
You won the lottery.
I suggest you cash in your ticket.
What's wrong? I have to shovel this winter.
Why? 'Cause I got my third horseshoe.
Gross.
The craziest part is, it's true.
I got laid off from the assembly line on December 23rd.
I know.
Merry Christmas.
I had a family, an upside-down mortgage, and an '85 Silverado with a coat hanger for an antenna.
But I also had a dream.
See, when life kicks you in the ass, you got to hang in there, because sometimes the worst day of your life ends up being the best thing that could've happened.
- Morning.
- Hey.
What's wrong? This cereal tastes weird.
These aren't Lucky Charms, they're called Magic Squares.
Well, they were magically cheaper and that was lucky for us.
There's no leprechaun, just a creepy wizard.
We're cutting back for a while, hon.
It turned my milk black.
Sounds like that wizard has a couple tricks up his sleeve.
Come on, grab your backpack.
Don't forget your tap shoes, the recital's tonight.
Already wearing 'em.
I'll go practice in the garage until it's time to go.
I'm closing at the salon tonight.
Can you pick up laundry detergent? I have a coupon.
Coupons.
It's like handing the cashier a note that says, "Hello.
I've failed my family.
Could I borrow 50 cents for this jug of soap?" You didn't fail anybody, okay? You got laid off.
And you've applied everywhere.
You're gonna get something.
Come on, you okay? Yeah.
- Yes.
- You got in late last night.
Sorry, I was at the bowling alley.
You've gone every night this week.
Yeah, I've been talking with some of other guys who got laid off.
It's a support group.
Like AA, except everybody's drinking and feels totally fine about it.
Okay, Tom, just tell me what's going on.
Okay.
There's no support group.
Hmm.
I had a hunch.
Archie's been letting me bowl for free.
He's coaching me.
I rolled a 268 last night.
And that was with an open frame.
Great.
Yeah, a 268 would put me on the money list at any PBA tournament.
Okay.
Just saying.
If I had rolled that last night at the Del Taco Open, I would've made more money in one day than two months at the factory.
And we'd be knee-deep in Del Taco.
What are you saying? I'm saying I could make good money in pro tournaments.
I'm saying I'm tired of busting my ass and us barely getting by.
And Sam's right, Magic Squares suck.
My family deserves Lucky Charms and full-price laundry detergent.
Okay.
I've heard you say you want to be a professional bowler, but I thought you always meant it like when you say you wish dogs could talk.
I'm 35, I didn't go to college, and the one job I'm qualified to do just laid me off.
I'm better at bowling than anything I've ever done.
Maybe now's the time to take my shot.
Uh Say something.
Come on, pretend you're a talking dog.
Knock, knock.
Just bringing over a layoff care package.
Tuna casserole and a six-pack.
There's also a gift card in there for Bass Pro Shop.
They're having a big sale this weekend on bear spray.
We don't need bear spray, Helen.
Well, you'd be whistling a different tune when some pot-smoking drifter is breaking in.
What? It won't kill him.
It'll just take him down.
Then you can decide what to do with him later.
Hey, have I come at a bad time? Ooh.
How can I help? - We were just talking about my job situation.
- Uh-huh.
Maybe I don't want to work in a factory anymore, Ma.
What? Four generations of Smallwoods have worked that line.
The factory has been very good to us.
Yeah, until the security guard walked me to my car, cut up my ID and frisked me.
I got to run Sam to school.
Thanks for the casserole.
Yeah.
While I was making it, I realized my furnace filters need changing.
Message received.
I'll swing by later.
We'll talk more tonight.
Okay? I love you.
I love you more! Gonna get that starter fixed.
I'm also gonna fix that glove box.
Hey, play your cards right, this'll be yours someday.
What are you doing? Hiding my tap shoes in my backpack.
Hiding? Why? Because I carried them into school yesterday and there's already two guys calling me "Ma'am" instead of "Sam.
" No, hold on, no, no, don't do that.
Don't be ashamed of what you want to do.
You get one life.
Do what you love.
Did you love working at the factory? You know how, when Mom makes meatloaf, we both say we love it? It was like that.
Check it out.
I bought this for you.
I used my allowance.
A lottery scratcher? How'd you even get this? You got to be 18 to buy one of these.
Not if you go to the guy at the Mini Mart.
The kid in front of me bought a grape-flavored cigar.
Sam, we don't solve our problems with gambling.
But all you need is three horseshoes and you win $50,000.
I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm returning this and getting you your money back.
And stay away from that guy at the Mini Mart.
Grape does not mean a safer cigar.
Hang on, Dad.
I forgot my lunch.
Horseshoe Come on Horseshoe Horse.
That's just mean.
For the last time, keep your elbow in on your release, or I'll sew it to your damn body and you'll have to take a yoga class just to wipe your ass.
I'm sorry, Arch.
My game's off.
I just told Jen this morning I wanted to be a pro bowler.
Yes! Finally! I've been waiting for this for 20 years.
How'd it go? She stared at me, didn't say anything.
As if I had just told her I wanted to be a pro bowler.
Listen, I've been married a few times over the years.
Yeah, I know.
I've worked my way up from ring bearer to best man.
If you get married again, I'm gonna be the bride.
Not if I get there first.
My point is communication is the heartbeat of a marriage.
You got to make Jen understand bowling can give her a life she's never had.
Yeah.
I think that's what she's afraid of.
Oh, hold on, I've been saving something for this moment.
This is gonna happen, Smalls.
A-and you're gonna need a manager.
All right? But we've been friends for a long time, so I won't take 20%.
Let's meet in the middle at 18.
Lew, how is 18 meeting in the middle? See, this is why you need me.
Someone who understands business.
That's me.
I got you, man.
Here you go, champ.
Huh? A pro jersey? "Archie's Lanes.
Home of the Curly Fry.
" - Thanks, Arch.
- Go ahead, try it on.
I hope that thing has pockets.
You can have somewhere to put all the money you're not gonna win.
Carl, why would I need pockets if I'm not gonna win any money? Obviously.
There's no other Don't listen to that fool.
You're gonna wear that thing on ESPN someday.
Yeah.
Oh.
Uh, always make sure the Archie's logo faces the camera.
Guys, I appreciate it, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.
I really don't think it's gonna happen.
Well, I know it's gonna happen.
I've always known.
So lose the negativity, man.
You sound like your mother.
I'm not trying to be negative, I'm trying to be realistic.
You want to be realistic? Fine.
You have the same average as pros on the tour.
A natural gift for breaking to the pocket on every shot.
You were born to bowl.
When you came out of the womb, I bet ten doctors fell down.
Realistic? Please.
I ever tell you the story about when I wanted to open my own alley? - Yeah.
- Yeah, you told everybody that damn story.
Everybody kept telling me that a Black man would never be able to get a business loan.
And guess what.
They were right.
Sons of bitches.
But then my uncle got hit by a garbage truck.
He sued the crap out of the city and here I am.
This is your garbage truck, Tom.
You just have to have the courage to step in front of it.
I don't know why you always want me to do this.
I've seen you change the transmission in a Buick and gut a deer all by yourself.
Well, excuse me for wanting to spend a little quality time with my son.
Hey, come down off that ladder.
I've got some big news and I don't want you to fall.
I pulled a string at the Dayco plant today and I got you an interview for the assembly line.
What? I-I applied there.
The guy said they weren't hiring.
You didn't walk in on him and the sales lady doing the no pants dance a few years back.
You'll get the job.
Oh.
Well, I was all set to say "you're welcome.
" I don't know what the hell to say now.
I appreciate it, Ma.
I I've just been thinking that maybe now's the time to take my shot at the PBA.
Oh, Tommy, you need a guaranteed paycheck.
You really want to put Jenny and Sam at risk so you can bowl? No.
Oh.
Don't get all sideways.
I'm not.
You're right.
If I have a real job offer, I have to take it.
Now, thanks to you, I got one.
- Just trying to be realistic.
- Yeah, we're both always trying to be realistic.
Maybe that's our problem.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about taking a chance every once in a while, Ma, for a better life.
I mean, have you been on one date since Dad died? I-it's been 20 years.
Well, I'm an old woman.
It's a little late to be dusting off home plate.
You're not old.
You have a lot to offer.
What about that neighbor who's always bringing you tomatoes? He's got sideburns and drives a Fiat.
If I want to spend time with a hooligan, I'll visit someone on death row.
See? Another excuse.
Another excuse to not do something.
This is why you're who you are.
And who am I, exactly? Someone who told me to always play it safe.
"Stay in the middle of the herd," you'd say.
"The cows at the front, they're the first to get slaughtered.
" I'm just trying to protect you.
Yeah, I know.
I still am.
I know.
- The way you need to protect your family.
- I know! Which reminds me, there's a can of bear spray hidden in your house.
If someone tries to break in, call me and I'll tell you where it is! - Unbelievable.
- Sweetie, you were amazing.
I don't know much about dance, but I know you won.
It was a recital, not a competition.
Sam, you kicked everybody's ass and I'm proud of you.
All right, my little superstar, get ready for bed, it's a school night.
Hey, Dad, you know how we were talking in the truck this morning? I think this is what I want to do.
What'd you talk about in the truck? Life, dreams, tap dance.
Guy stuff.
Tom, I know you're not thrilled about taking that job at the plant.
Actually, I think I figured something out tonight.
When we got to the recital, I was pissed.
I know.
But I think that lady had the parking space first.
Not that, and no, she didn't.
The turn signal is a contract.
I was pissed about not bowling.
I always thought that's what I was supposed to do in life.
Sitting in that theater, thinking, "This is my last chance, and as soon as I take that new job, it's gone.
" Then my kid takes the stage.
Got my arm around my wife.
And I realize, I'm not a pro bowler.
I'm a dad and a husband.
That's what I am.
I don't have to be anything else.
Tell me I'm wrong.
I wish I could, but I can't.
And that's okay.
You know, everybody thinks the hardest thing to do in bowling is to pick up the 7-10 split.
But it's not.
It's actually the 4-6-7-9-10 split.
It's called the Greek Church.
A handful of guys can pick that up on their best day.
I did it one night.
Then I go to this bar.
See this beautiful girl.
Way out of my league.
Any other night, I wouldn't've had the guts, but that night, I had this "Greek Church" confidence.
So I asked her to dance.
Month later, she's pregnant.
Week after that, married at the courthouse.
Later that night, honeymoon suite at the Super 8.
You knew how to treat a girl.
I had a coupon.
See, the way I see it, bowling isn't what I'm supposed to do with my life, it's what led me to my life.
Hmm.
Where you going? Bedroom.
There's some things we didn't do at the Super 8.
We're doing 'em tonight.
But the only thing we didn't do at Well, I see you finally decided to start keeping your elbow in, now that you're not going pro and it doesn't matter.
Hey, you got to do right by your family, Smalls.
I understand.
Thanks, Lew.
It's a damn waste of talent.
It's like telling Nicki Minaj to wear an overcoat.
Look at this.
Suede Wade is in the tenth frame and he's 20 pins behind what you just bowled in a practice game.
Suede Wade.
God, I hate that dude.
But that's a clean-ass hat.
One of the top ten ranked bowlers in the country, about to win a major with a lower score than what my boy just put up.
Good for him.
He's probably single, no family, miserable.
He's got five kids.
He married a panty model.
Yeah, I heard he drives a Maserati.
How's your truck running, Smallwood? Come on, Carl! Look, I know who I am.
I like who I am, and I'm happy.
It's his last ball.
Don't you want to see if you beat his score? Nope.
Don't care.
We can see your ass in the reflection, Thomas.
Wow, look at Sammy tapping his little heart out.
He is so good.
I know, he's got a real passion for it.
You know what I have a real passion for? That tall, sexy daddy in the back.
- Oh, my God.
- What? You're sleeping with a dad, why can't I? No, Helen just walked in.
Would you mind stabbing me in the heart with your scissors? - Hi! - Hey.
Good to see you.
Hey, hey.
I was about to take lunch Oh.
But I guess I have time for one more.
This is quite a surprise.
- You told me I should drop by.
- I did? The night Tommy brought you home to meet me? That was 12 years ago.
Well, here I am.
- Okay.
- Oh So what are you thinking? Well, I've had the same hairstyle for 30 years.
- I'm not a fan of change.
- I understand.
You stick with what works in life.
There's an argument to be made for that.
You ask the people on the Hindenburghow they feel about taking unnecessary chances.
Got it.
So, um what do we want to do? I already did what I had to do, and Tommy barely spoke to me at the recital.
If you're talking about getting him the job, he's fine.
He knows you only did it because you care.
That's right, I do care.
And I know that you do, too.
He needs to do the right thing for his family.
Tom always does the right thing for his family.
- I just needed to speak my piece.
- Yeah.
I get it.
You're a mom.
- It's your job to keep him safe.
- That's right.
And it's my job to keep him happy.
Oh, what-what about your hair? Oh, I had a guy let me cut in front of him in line at the grocery store today.
Gonna stick with what works.
- Hey, how was your, uh - Sit.
I have two questions.
Question one.
Why is there a can of bear spray duct-taped to the back of our toilet? I'll take care of it.
Great.
Question two.
Why are you taking a job you don't want? What do you mean, "don't want"? I get to drive 1,046 bolts into brake drums every day.
And they let me wear a hairnet.
You're doing it because it's the right thing to do for our family.
Yes, we talked about this.
We did.
And I thought a lot about it.
You should do the right thing for our family.
So here's the plan.
You have a 210 bowling average in your last 36 games of league play.
This qualifies you for PBA membership.
You'll start doing regional tournaments.
The first one is in three months at Cuyahoga Falls.
Horrible town.
Enjoy.
Now, uh, if you don't place in the top third, we get nothing and we lose our entry fee, which is bad.
But if you can win just one regional, it covers all of your bowling expenses till the end of the year.
- Jen - Don't interrupt, babe.
The ultimate goal is, of course, to win a major.
You'll earn exemption so you can enter any PBA event you want and ideally bowl in the PBA Championship.
No, honey, stop.
I'm fine.
I don't need to do this.
Actually, you do.
You're not the only one in this family with a dream.
Your son wants to dance on Broadway.
You need to show him what's possible.
I want to open my own salon.
I'm gonna need you to finish in the top ten at a major to make that happen.
I mapped out driving routes, budgeted motel costs, gas money.
With me picking up extra shifts, we can go for six months.
And after that, we reassess.
Sweetie, I I can't do it.
I thought you'd say that.
So I stopped off at the bowling alley after work to talk to Archie.
He helped me pick this out.
If you're gonna be a pro bowler, you can't keep using that crappy, chipped-up ball you've had for the last ten years.
Oh.
We'll be selling the snow blower to pay for it.
You'll be shoveling this winter, but Archie said you could lose a few pounds.
Guy gives you curly fries for 30 years, calls you fat.
Try the holes, babe.
Already drilled.
No returns.
What if it doesn't work out? But what if it does? Look you and your mom had a tough life.
You lost some important things.
But you married me.
And I say why can't we be the family who wins? Do you know how many wives there are who'd say, "Forget the paying job, just bowl and see what happens"? One.
There is one and you married her.
You won the lottery.
I suggest you cash in your ticket.
What's wrong? I have to shovel this winter.
Why? 'Cause I got my third horseshoe.
Gross.