Jing: King of Bandits (2002) s01e01 Episode Script

It's just another boring night I can't stand to sit here and wait for another boring day to be born I'll take tomorrow by storm Flying quickly through the air in my winged shoes Shout it loud, I'll wake you from your dreams Shout it loud, with the magic only I can control Shout it loud, that's right, shout it loud Now, while the morning sun warms the town Let's take off in the clear daybreak Together, we'll escape I I I I have absolutely nothing to do with this story.
Farewell! There it is! The Capital of Thieves! The Capital of Thieves I wonder which one of them could be the Bandit King? What's a kid doing coming here? I don't care who the Bandit King is, he'll never get his hands on my Double Mermaids! I won't ever allow anyone to waltz in and disturb my great city! Take it away you thief! This is the city of refuge for all us thieves! This truly is the Capital of Thieves, isn't it? Seems like we'll find nothing but scoundrels and bad types here, Jing.
You mean bad as in stupid, right, Kir? What the hell's this?! They say the Bandit King sent in a warning notice.
Bandit King?! Bandit King doesn't mean he's king of a real country.
It supposedly just means that he's the best bandit ever.
He's the legendary bandit they say could steal the very stars out of the sky if he wanted to.
I bet Cognac is really sweatin' it.
Wow, this truly is a guy's town, isn't it? You could almost suffocate on the foul, manly stench that exudes from this place.
C'mon Jing, let's go to another town that has more women! There's a girl.
Geez! Jing! Haven't you heard that women, like wine, just get better with age? You know I prefer the young ones, Jing! Hey kid, you just lost all your treasure there.
Thief! Everyone here is a thief.
He's gone beyond your reach now.
Oh, I can reach him.
I've got this guy on my side.
See? What the hell?! You want a piece of me, kid? Oh here you go, I was just borrowing these.
I could care less about those jewels, but no one touches this one.
Not too bad, kid.
It's that old maid from before! You should watch your mouth around a young lady like myself.
Is this your first time here? Have you been here long? You could say that.
Do you know anything about the Double Mermaids? It's supposed to be a jewel as huge as this jackass.
What'd you call me?! You haven't seen the last of me! Know it? It's the ultimate goal in this world of thieves.
Everyone comes to this town with the hope of someday getting their grubby hands on it.
So all of these animals are after the mermaids too? Look above you It's at the top of this tower?! This is where Cognac, the mayor, keeps all of his secret treasure.
It's tight as a drum.
No one will ever get in.
But still everyone is here to try and get the Double Mermaids.
Cognac captures everyone who tries to break in to his tower, and in return takes their treasure as his own.
Cognac just keeps getting richer and richer by collecting all the money of his victims.
In addition to that, he makes everyone who lives here pay him taxes.
It has been like that here under Cognac for a long time.
Seems like that evil Cognac's got quite a system going.
He's really milking everyone dry.
He may be a bad guy, but he's sure got a lot of dough.
So is that good or bad for us? I must warn you of the dangers of entering the tower.
Attempting to infiltrate the tower means almost certain death.
Cognac has set countless traps to ensure that all are captured.
You must not underestimate its strength.
Certain death? I guess he needs all that to protect his Double Mermaids.
Are there really two of them? There are two of them, but Cognac is only in possession of one.
But it is his most prized possession.
You must learn more if you really mean to attempt this feat.
If you go to the bar called Dragon Pow, you will find an old, veteran bandit by the name of Vodka.
He has all the information you need.
Thank you, we'll see you around.
What are you doing telling that old hag that we'd see her again? I just got the feeling that we're going to meet again sometime soon.
Here we are, the Dragon Pow.
Don't sleep naked like that or you'll catch a cold.
I really like the atmosphere in this place.
Let me go show you how it's done.
I feel like indulging myself tonight.
Don't go overboard, Kir.
Are you Vodka? Who the hell wants to know? You were quite easy to spot.
You stick out among these other jokers as one who has been an easy target for Cognac for a long time.
You little brat! Do you have any idea who you're talking to?! Hey kid, I wouldn't upset him if I were you! Don't you know that Master Vodka is one of the greatest thieves ever! Check it out! My magnificent collection! I know something that will astound you! There is no other like it in the whole world, I hide it in here for safekeeping.
You mean this? Oh, I thought it was a cavity, so I took the liberty of removing it! When did he snatch it?! I never saw him move! Oh, you two are even more beautiful than the Double Mermaids.
Oh stop it, you're too kind.
That reminds me, I have a present here for you two.
Let us buy you a few more drinks.
You little brat! You snatched my precious treasure! If this is that important to you, allow me to ask you about an even more spectacular treasure.
He swallowed it.
Master?! Settle down, you don't have to thank me.
That's it punk! Say goodbye! Time to go to work, Kir.
Kir Royale! Hey, Jing! You have the worst timing ever! I was just about to get some! Have your hiccoughs stopped yet? Not yet! Boy You don't have to speak another word.
I know what you are after! From this day forward I will be your mentor! Sorry for the wait.
Another failed attempt What idiots.
Hey, kid, you going to try your luck too? No, he's not quite ready yet.
Oh, yeah? I used to be a bandit as well.
So good luck.
What an idiot! Let's hurry up, snatch the Double Mermaids and get out of here! I'd rather be chasing after real women than those who are half fish! Hey, it's you! We meet again.
What's that? It looks like one of those valuable birds that rarely lay eggs.
She's the newest addition to Cognac's collection.
I feel sorry for her.
Have you heard? There is a rumor going around that the Double Mermaids have an even more valuable treasure sleeping inside of them.
Do you know what he meant by that? He was a little vague, wasn't he? All right, the plans are set.
We're going to make a balloon that we can ride to the top of the tower.
You don't have to do that.
We can just ride her up to the top.
That thing? She's got wings, but she can't fly! She used to be able to fly, but then her body got fat and her wings shrunk.
Even if she was set free, she wouldn't even be able to fly back to her own nest! A bird that can't fly shouldn't be called a bird at all.
All right! Let's go! It was such a ingenious idea of mine to have you guys use your clothes to make the balloon.
I guess being broke has affected their sense of reason.
No kidding.
Shut up you brat! We'll bring you back a souvenir, so have some drinks lined up for us when we return! Okay?! With this thing the mermaid is as good as mine! I really hate the way human males look naked.
All right, almost there I have to give you guys credit.
Your idea is pretty original, but not quite good enough.
Just as I thought.
You guys went overweight on the balloon.
You got a better idea?! I don't know, I'll tell you after I'm up there.
Shut up! I can't take it, none of us are making money as thieves anymore.
That's just how it is in our profession.
Jing? An egg! I can't believe it, she finally laid one.
We must hurry and deliver it to Lord Cognac.
Oh, shut up! Cognac is always separating children from their mothers.
All right, we've got to think of a new strategy! That's not necessary.
What?! I'm going to take this bird to the top.
What?! I already told you, that thing can't fly! Jing! What are you talking about? It's not going to happen.
I'm a bird.
Take it from me, she isn't flying! Hey, girl, why are you so sad? Is it because you're never allowed to hatch your own eggs? As we speak, that guy in there is eating your eggs sunny-side-up.
Or maybe he's boiling them? What are you I can hear them sizzling in the pan right now! There you go, girl.
The only way you can get them back is to grow your wings.
If you don't save your children, no one else will.
Show everyone that you can do it! Let's go, lady.
Are you taking her as your date?! I can't believe it! I can't believe she's really flying.
All right, what poor sucker do we have up next? Hey, I thought she couldn't fly.
It didn't make a scratch! That little brat finally made it up there.
I guess they haven't had a chance to boil it up yet.
The Double Mermaids The Double Mermaids, are they really the famous crystallized creatures from the stories of old? Oh, my precious breathtaking beauty I see you have grown to love my treasure as I have.
I can't believe you made it up here, and for that I will commend you.
But I have heard that I should be expecting the Bandit King.
I have no time to waste with a little boy like you.
Kir Royale! Oh, fair maiden, it is I who has saved you from this prison.
Get away, you old hag! I'm the one who's going to get to hug her! Mother! Cidre! So "double" means mother and daughter? So that's what that old lady really looks like?! Thank you! You have returned to me my only treasure.
Mother! I guess this was what Postino was talking about.
Why? She always used to cry, but her tears never turned into jewels! Tears of sadness Tears of joy They're far from the same.
It can't be! You?! You're the Bandit King?! It just never seems to stop Always blowing through everything in its way The remnants of the hidden voice in the wind To whom will I give the sadness that I cradle in these arms? I cry as I hold it deep inside my heart You need not be burdened with my sadness too Thousands of songs have come before this one and vanished in the wind But I still sleep, dreaming of the day when we can once again meet Next Jing Next Jing All right, the Jing Girl for the next episode is a crazy cop! Next Jing She's a tough little girl who won't let anyone get away from her! Next Jing I don't think I could live with myself if I ever let her down.
Next Jing Next time, "The Ghost Ship of Blue Hawaii" Next Jing Please watch! The Ghost Ship of Blue Hawaii Please watch! The Ghost Ship of Blue Hawaii Why would they watch it after that?! The Ghost Ship of Blue Hawaii Not one word you've said has made any sense at all! The Ghost Ship of Blue Hawaii