Jury Duty (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

My name is Ronald. I'm 29 years old.
[PRODUCER] Why are you here today?
To learn about jury duty, see
what this whole thing's about,
the process, everything in general.
Would you please introduce
yourself to the jury.
He destroyed my career, my
business, and my mental health.
- [LAWYER] Is that accurate?
- What are you doing?
This trial will be my last trial.
There's a substance called bromine.
- Objection.
- [JUDGE ROSEN] Sustained.
Could you just please talk to
him? He knows what happened.
I will arrest every last one of y'all.
It has sativa in it and Dexedrine.
Hey, hey.
I mean, maybe this is
common. I don't know.
But I feel like this
can't be that common
'cause just crazy stuff keeps happening.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[BEEPING]
When they say "jury of your
peers," I think that's accurate.
From the people that I've
seen in the waiting room,
you have everybody from all classes
of people, age groups, everything,
races, ethnicities, you name it.
Everybody's in that
waiting room, I feel like.
You want a Twix?
- No, I'm fine. Thanks.
- No?
Did you just go to the vending machine?
No, I went in the, um,
the little gift shop,
and there was nobody
there, so I just took them.
Nice.
So I am, like, an anarchist of
sorts. Like, I don't believe in rules.
I don't like institutionalized
systems of government.
It's just not my thing.
But then on the other hand,
I'm also kind of a fun girl.
I like your glasses.
- Oh, thank you.
- You look like Christopher Robin.
Uh, my name's Noah. I
just moved here to LA.
I'm from a I'm from
a kinda small town. Um
Everyone in my hometown said
that people in LA were mean,
but people are nice.
People are
kinda really nice.
You just looked cute over
here. I'm sorry. [GIGGLES]
- [NOAH] What?
- You, like, reminded me of someone,
but then I was like, oh, I
actually, like, wanted to, like,
ask you if you wanted, like, a
Chewy Bar or, like, a Big Hunk.
Oh, uh, no, ma'am, no.
Um, I'm all right, but
thank you. That's
That's really big.
[GIGGLES] I thought you would like it.
I just stood up to get some
water at the water fountain,
and somebody just took my seat.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Oh, yeah.
I wear a Water Buffalo canteen backpack.
Um, it sort of is like having
a small water fountain
with me all the time.
[SLURPS]
Although the ultimate objective would be
that one wouldn't need to
wear an apparatus at all,
that it would be, um,
just an auxiliary reservoir
that would be either grafted
onto or inside of the body.
- Yes.
- For hydration.
[SLURPING]
Excuse me. I'm gonna get some water.
- Oh, yeah.
- Again.
[JAMES MARSDEN] Good morning.
Yeah, just go right to the window.
- He'll give you paperwork to fill out.
- Okay. All right.
I'm sorry to bother you, but can
I take a picture with you, please?
What's that?
Can I take a picture with you, please?
- Just one, just one.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
Okay. Um
Oh, no, you don't have to
- Sorry, would you mind taking a picture?
- We could do a selfie.
I wanna get the whole Thank you.
Do you mind? [LAUGHS]
- Sorry about that.
- Okay, here you go.
[CHUCKLES] All right.
Can I kiss you on the
cheek? If not, I can pretend.
- Uh, how about just a
- I'll do it from here.
How about just a little
- How about just an air kiss?
- Okay.
[LAUGHS] All right, we're
gonna get in trouble.
- Let me see.
- Yeah, check 'em for sure.
Thank you so much.
- Very nice to meet you. Yeah.
- Yes, you too. I love you so much.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Oh, shit, dude, that's
where I know you from.
You're in X-Men.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
I've been thinking
that this entire time.
I didn't ask your name. Forgive me.
- Ronald.
- Ronald?
- Yeah.
- James.
- It's a pleasure.
- Nice to meet you.
Yeah, I was trying to pinpoint it.
I was like, "I've seen you somewhere."
Yeah, but I've been
in, like, so much stuff.
It's, like, X-Men and
Hairspray and Enchanted
and Westworld and
stuff like that, but
Notebook.
- Oh, shit, you're in Westworld?
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah, I am.
[PRODUCER] I know him from The Notebook.
He's in The Notebook?
Nuh-uh. What is he in The Notebook?
- The other guy.
- He's the other guy?
The guy she really should
have got together with.
Oh, my God. I haven't
seen that movie in so long.
I didn't even I didn't realize.
Now, look at his socks over here.
It looked like it said "sonic,"
and I'm in that movie Sonic.
I'd like to see if Sonic
Oh, shit, you're in the movie Sonic?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Really? That's the one with
The new one with Jim Carrey, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I heard that was not a good movie.
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- Is it funny?
Or is it supposed to be action?
It's, like, action and funny, like,
you know, a road trip buddy movie.
It was, like, he and I, and
then Jim Carrey plays the
Are you, like, a main role in it?
- Yeah.
- Oh!
Apparently, he's in the new
Sonic movie too. [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, he was talking about that a lot.
- [LAUGHS]
I'm hoping I get released.
I got a big director meeting
at 5:00 I just gotta make.
I haven't got the role yet,
but it's a big, big meeting.
There you go.
I mean, how long does
this normally take?
- Have you done this before?
- I was gonna ask you.
[RONALD CHUCKLES]
What do people usually say
when they're trying to,
like, get out of this?
Like, what's, like, the move? Like
I'm only going off a thing
that I've seen on Family Guy,
and that's probably not
the best thing to use.
Wait, what was it?
Peter pretends to be racist to
get out of jury duty. [CHUCKLES]
That's pretty smart.
- To the right, sir.
- [JAMES] Right.
Thank you. To the right.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Nice.
If we could make this
as quiet as possible
and quickly as possible,
that would be wonderful.
All rise.
Trial court of the State of California
28th District is now in session.
The Honorable Judge
Alan Rosen is presiding.
Sit down, folks.
Respectfully, uh, gentlemen,
if you would take off your hats.
Gentleman in the last row,
if you could remove your hat,
I'd appreciate it. Thank you.
I've been sitting in this
courtroom for 38 years.
And sadly, this trial
will be my last trial.
So for want of better
words, this is my swan song.
And I think with that,
is there any of you, for any
reason, who are unable to sit
for what might be a week
or so for this trial?
You, sir, in the front row.
I have a surgery scheduled
at the end of the week.
Something
from inside my body has gotta come out.
Stop. You're okay. Thank
you. You may be excused.
I have to pick up kids.
Are you the primary caretaker?
Of picking them up
and watching them, yes.
All right, well, then
you're excused. Thank you.
Yeah, madam in the second row.
It's just not my thing
this jury duty stuff.
Madam, I sincerely appreciate
you even coming down today.
And if you're not 100% committed,
we're gonna excuse you too.
Thank you.
"It's not my thing."
I think this is a good time to
break. We'll take an hour recess.
[JAMES SIGHS]
There's a food truck, so
hopefully that'll help you out.
[JAMES SIGHS]
Ladies and gentlemen, if you leave
the property without telling us,
that's a contempt of court.
You don't wanna do
that to yourself, okay?
- Oh, shit.
- [NIKKI] Thank you.
- Won't be doing that, I guess.
- Yeah, watch it.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[JAMES] Just gotta get the
judge to recognize me, you know?
[RONALD] Mm-hmm.
[JAMES] If I do, I
feel like when he says,
you know, "Oh, that's James Marsden,"
he'll let me off. I
mean, they always do.
Oh, for sure. I mean, the judge
seems to be letting everybody go.
Right.
Exactly. Right.
- Can I sit here?
- Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
Thank you. [GIGGLES]
Um, do you, uh
You want half my sandwich?
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I would love that. [GIGGLES]
[JAMES] Oh, shit, there's the judge.
- Is that him?
- I think it is.
I wanna ask him if I can
Your Honor, I have this
meeting with a director.
- It's just a work thing.
- I'm sorry, I can't talk to jurors.
- Wait, did that just work?
- [JAMES] No.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
In addition to the
3.6-liter liquid reservoir,
I've also added a reservoir for solids
which can support up to
28 ounces of solid food,
provided that it's emulsified
into a fine paste first.
[SLURPING]
[JAMES] Yeah, I've been called
for jury duty four times.
Every time, I get dismissed.
But, uh, this judge just
isn't getting it yet.
I gotta create a little scene, maybe.
If he comes back around,
I might just announce I'm
buying everybody lunch.
[RONALD CHUCKLES]
And if you guys can kinda,
like, be like, "Oh, yeah."
Like, give a cheer or something.
I don't know if it's gonna work,
but, I mean, give it a shot.
God, I can't believe this.
[JAMES] Well, yeah. No, no,
no, hey, if I can get off
- Here he comes, here he comes.
- [MAN] Did Chrissy get a vegan taco?
In my own backyard,
this is what they do.
Okay, everyone, I'd love to
take photos with everyone,
I just don't have the time today.
But in lieu of selfies, I'm
buying lunch. Lunch is on me.
- Ooh, James, baby!
- Whoo!
You're welcome. My
pleasure. My pleasure.
Judge, you want something?
Lunch is on me, Your Honor.
Your Honor?
Ally McBeal season five?
Glenn Foy, the new associate?
What would he have
known from my work? God.
That didn't work. I'm
gonna have to do
[FOOD TRUCK WORKER] Hey, do
you wanna give me a credit card?
Uh sure. Yeah.
What if I already paid?
Can I get reimbursed?
I have a receipt.
Whoo-ooh.
- What up? What up? What up?
- How's it going, man?
- Ah, damn it, James, dude.
- Oh, man.
- I owe you an apology, man.
- Why? What for?
I humble myself before you.
I watched Sonic last night, dude.
- You did last night?
- It was fire, bro.
Hey, 54, I don't mind you
talking, but just, you know.
Thank you while we get
everybody checked in.
- [JAMES] Sorry. You got it. You got it.
- Appreciate that.
I thought it was hilarious.
You didn't tell me that Ben
Schwartz was the voice of Sonic.
Oh, yeah. [STAMMERS]
I kind of forget about him sometimes.
I thought he was hilarious.
[RONALD] I have to
apologize to the guy, man.
That's exactly what I have to do.
I told him I heard it was a shit movie.
So [LAUGHS]
- Thank God, yesterday, we got out.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I know we're back, but,
like, I have a meeting with this guy.
Try and think about,
like, the big-time director
that maybe has been somewhat problematic
and hasn't been Me-Tooed yet.
Is his first name Quentin?
Look, I can't say if
you did guess, but
All right, all right.
But if he calls and
says, "You got the part,"
I can't say, "I can't
do it, I'm on jury duty."
Exactly.
We recessed a little early yesterday.
And, uh, I went to my
car to get my lunch,
and apparently someone
had broken into my car.
I cut my hand getting things out,
so forgive me if I'm
not in the best mood.
Nikki, would you please
put six in the box?
This is called voir dire.
And the English translation
of the French voir dire
is "to speak the truth."
You are a member of, um, RBI?
- Yes, ma'am.
- What's RBI?
Reddit Bureau of Investigations.
I mean, yeah, I'm into
true-crime documentaries,
podcasts, all that stuff, you know.
So when I got the summons, I
was like, "Hell yeah, finally."
But, nah, this case is dumb.
It looks like you have a lot of kids.
- Like, a lot of kids.
- [ROSS] I do. I do. Um
I can't be away from my kids
for a long period of time.
[JUDGE ROSEN] How
many kids you got, sir?
I have 36 kids.
What are you, a foster parent?
I'm a teacher, so a lot of those
kids, I feel like they're my own kids.
These are your students?
Yes, they're my students,
but when they're
Sir, this isn't relevant. Sit down.
I have a back injury. A year ago,
there was a car accident
that I came upon.
I pulled a three-year-old girl
out of the car and it rolled.
The paramedics had to
cut me out of the car,
and the jaws of life kind
of pinched me in the back.
C4-C5 was ruptured and I just
can't sit for long periods of time.
I'm sorry. Where were you just pointing?
C4-C5, down here. There's
They're, uh, compacted, I think.
Okay, well, there's one problem.
Your C4-C5 is up by your neck.
How about it's just not for me?
You sit down, sir.
I, actually, I have this trip
with, um, with my girlfriend.
It's our It's our
six-month anniversary.
[DEBRA] A trip?
Yeah. This is the first time that
we've been completely unsupervised.
Our parents aren't there,
so you could kind of see
how that would be, like, a big
Sir, a vacation is not
an excuse. I've heard
It's just that our parents
aren't gonna be around,
so we're really free
to do anything that
- anything we haven't done yet.
- [DEBRA] Right.
[NOAH] You can imagine what
Excuse me. I've heard it all.
And going away with your
girlfriend, that's not gonna suffice.
I'm terribly sorry.
Are there any other reasons,
aside from this trip,
that you feel that you would not be able
to be a good juror for this matter?
[NOAH] Um
I, um
I-I
- Sir.
- I'm I'm
I also am, uh, racist.
Sir, please have a seat.
I'm sorry. You're a racist?
[NOAH] I, uh
No, I'm sorry. I-I'm not.
I'm not racist. I, um
I was told that that would work.
Who told you that?
Um
All right, never mind.
If I put you under oath, you would
attest that you are not a racist?
- Is that correct?
- No, I'm not. I'm not.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- [JUDGE ROSEN] Okay.
Counsel.
- I think I'm gonna let this group go, Your Honor.
- [JUDGE ROSEN] Yeah.
- Please.
- Yes.
Dude, I can't believe he
said that. That was crazy.
- He told him to do it.
- I did not tell him to do it.
- [LAUGHS]
- I never told him to do it.
That was pretty clumsy.
It's been an interesting day.
Did you buy or rent Sonic?
I saw it on Hulu.
That's a bummer.
If you would've bought it,
I would've got a dollar.
It says here that you're
a member of the USTHO.
Um, United States
Transhumanist Organization.
- Trans what?
- Transhumanist Organization.
It's, like, a political advocacy group.
What are you guys advocating for?
Advocating for changing
attitudes around, um
the incorporation of, like,
cybernetics into, um, everyday life.
Lightsaber-netics?
Like, cybernetics.
Like, cybernetics. Thank you.
Juror number 54.
Juror number 81.
Have you ever served on a jury before?
Uh, yes, ma'am.
Was that here in Los Angeles?
No.
[DEBRA] Where was it?
Cannes.
In France?
Yeah, it's the film festival.
[DEBRA] I mean, a civil
or a criminal jury.
[JAMES] Oh, no, no. Sorry. No.
[DEBRA] Okay.
- Thank you very much.
- You got it.
[DEBRA] Appreciate you.
Does anyone here have any
reason why they don't feel
like they would be a
good juror for this case?
Uh
Yes, um, I feel like there's a chance
that I might be an
unwelcome, uh, distraction.
Why is that, sir?
I'm a recognizable public figure.
Respectfully, I don't recognize
you. I'm sorry, who are you?
That's, uh That's
okay. A lot of people do.
My most recent movie is this
movie Sonic the Hedgehog.
And we were just
This gentleman and I were just
chatting about it earlier and yesterday,
and he's a big fan and we
You were talking to this gentleman?
Stand up.
- Do you know who this fella is?
- I do, yeah.
It took me a little bit
to notice him yesterday,
but I recognize him, yes.
What has he done?
He's done X-Men, Sonic. He's
in Hairspray, 27 Dresses.
- Enchanted.
- Uh, Death at a Funeral.
- Um
- [JAMES] Westworld.
Have you seen all those films?
- No.
- [JUDGE ROSEN] Okay.
Do you think that him sitting
would be a distraction?
Not for me, no.
With all due respect, I don't
think you'd be a distraction either.
So why don't you both sit down.
[JAMES SIGHS]
[JUDGE ROSEN] We're gonna
break for 90 minutes.
We will announce jury selection
when you return, so enjoy your lunch.
Come back to courtroom three at 2:35.
- [RONALD] Oh, boy.
- Yes, you ought to.
Dude, bro.
Don't lead with X-Men.
You never do that.
People think of X-Men, they think
of Jackman. They don't think
Whatever. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.
I think I got a little
something anyway, so
This ain't over.
Hey, Shannon. Hey, it's Marsden.
Uh, I need you to do something for me.
Well, the dog shit can wait.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Listen, I need you to
call someone for me.
[CAR ALARM BEEPING]
All right, folks, counsel has met
with me during your lunch hour.
How are you guys coming along?
[DEBRA] We're right there. You got it.
[JUDGE ROSEN] Then this is the list?
- I got it.
- [SHAUN] This is it.
- [JUDGE ROSEN] Okay.
- [DEBRA] Okay.
Okay, folks, as I call your number,
please stand and take
a seat in the jury box.
Number 24.
Number 43.
Number 56.
[NIKKI] Please stand, 56.
Oh, no way!
I was shocked with number 56, the
gentleman who claimed to be racist.
Oh, Noah.
[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 50.
[GIGGLES] Like, he's just,
like, really, like, innocent,
and I feel like I want
to, like, corrupt him.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 73.
Number 54.
[JAMES EXHALES DEEPLY]
Damn, bro, I can't believe
they picked you! That's crazy.
Yeah, man.
[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 17.
Number 14.
Number 11.
[SIGHS]
[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 41.
And number 37.
That will be the people who
are selected as our 12 jurors.
We also name two alternates.
They will sit throughout the trial.
Uh, number 47.
Sir, um, why don't you take
the seat next to that gentleman.
Oof.
[JUDGE ROSEN] And, uh
Number 81.
[BLEEP]
Number 81?
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
Oof.
And with that, Nikki, if you would
swear the jurors and
the alternates in place.
[NIKKI] If you all can please stand
and raise your right hand, please.
You can put your belongings on
the floor however you need to.
Do you understand and agree that
you will well and truly try the case
now pending before this court
and a true verdict render
according only to the
evidence presented to you
and to the instructions of the court?
- [JUROR] I do.
- [JURORS] Yes.
[NIKKI] You are now the jury in the
matter of Hilgrove versus Morris.
Please take your seats.
[JUDGE ROSEN] Be seated, please.
Okay, typically what happens in
- [BANGING]
- What the hell is going on?
[MAN] Marsden!
Mr. Marsden!
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
- [MAN] Excuse me!
James! James!
Yo, how y'all let them
How y'all let them get
through the security?
Counsel.
[NIKKI] That can't happen again, guys.
[RONALD] I saw the paparazzi at,
like, the same time they showed up.
I just happened to be
looking over in that area,
and I saw the bang came from
the camera being pressed up
really quickly against the glass.
So I saw it. So it
definitely did make me jump.
- Nikki, what's going on?
- I'm coming.
Bullshit, yo.
[JUDGE ROSEN] What's going on?
Possibly some coming
from outside of the house.
I don't know how they got
through the other side doors.
[JUDGE ROSEN] How the hell
did the paparazzi get in?
If this hasn't been enough
distraction, I don't know what is.
Mr. Marsden, could you stand up, please?
Sure. [CLEARS THROAT]
These paparazzi, are they here for you?
I believe so.
This is my lot in life,
sir. They follow me.
You can't control them. They show up.
And I've gotten used
to it, to be honest.
Do you think there's a possibility
that these folks will interfere
with the jurors in trying
to get gossip on you?
Yeah, potentially. I mean
Like I said, I can't control them.
This is a problem.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Listen, I understand
why you gotta let me go.
I wish I could stay and
serve. I'll just be on my way.
Don't go anywhere. Don't
go anywhere. Sit down.
[JAMES SIGHS]
[JUDGE ROSEN] I wanna
make one thing clear.
I will not let this case
result in a mistrial.
I will be damned if my 38-year
career ends in a mockery.
Alternate Juror 81, you are
not dismissed from jury duty.
We are going to sequester the jury.
You'll be back here tomorrow
at 10:00 in the morning.
You will bring personal
belongings for at least a week.
I will give you proper instructions
for sequestration in the morning.
- I don't know the definition of the word.
- I googled it. It's "isolated."
- Isolated.
- Separated.
It's gonna be, like, camp, like,
staying with all of these people.
Are we clear, folks?
Are we clear, sir?
Yes, sir.
Tomorrow, more details, 10:00 AM.
Y'all dismissed for today.
Do we have to share rooms?
- Like, with each other?
- You'll find out tomorrow morning.
Oh, I hope not. I snore.
I'm trying to still
figure out stuff myself.
[PRODUCER] Hey, guys, we'd love
to do an interview with all of you.
We're gonna go around the room.
Everyone tell us what you're
feeling right now in one word.
Let's start with Pat.
So, what, how do I feel?
[PRODUCER] Yeah. One word.
Kidnapped.
Happy.
Excited-annoyed.
It's a new experience.
Uh misunderstood.
Understanding.
In mourning for my career.
Adventure.
Fine.
Eager.
Meh.
I just wanna say to everybody
here, I'm not actually racist.
I just wanna make it clear. I was
just really trying to get out
I didn't want to do jury duty.
I can't because I
have schedule conflict.
And that was just something
I kind of said that's
Maybe next time don't say that, though.
- Yeah. I'm so sorry. I just
- Why did you say you're racist?
I don't know, I just thought that's
Just, like, eliminate
that for the next time.
Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.
It's a stupid idea I had. I
don't know why I said that.
[JUDGE ROSEN] This season on Jury Duty.
I have the honor of
representing Ms. Jacqui Hilgrove.
It will be up to you to determine
how much her suffering is worth.
- I'm gonna show them. Oh!
- [JUDGE ROSEN] Oh, my God.
[BLEEP]
[ALL SCREAM]
- Oh, my God!
- This is gonna be awesome.
[JUDGE ROSEN] This is probably
the most unorthodox trial
Oh, shit!
that I've presided over.
There's always something
crazy that comes up.
Oh, my goodness.
Bones with more bones,
and then just the bones,
and then bones with other bones.
"We saw James Marsden's giant shit."
[NIKKI] I will arrest
every last one of y'all.
- Okay, wait, slow down.
- Okay.
[ALL CHEERING]
Oh, no! No!
[RONALD] There have
been so many just weird,
crazy things that have came up.
Who knows what's gonna
happen at this point?
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]