Kickin' It (2011) s01e01 Episode Script

How are you doing? It's my first day.
- What would you recommend? - Not this stuff.
I don't know what half of it is.
All right, that was almost cool.
- I'm Kim.
- I'm Jack.
I'm new.
Yeah, I can tell.
You still have that new-guy smell.
Um, can I have my apple back? Oh, sorry.
- Well, maybe I'll see you around, Kim.
- Maybe you will.
Hey, new kid.
Uh, what are you doing, Eddie? We save that seat for cheerleaders, Prom queens and supermodels.
Well, I'm Jack.
- So how do you guys all know each other? - We're friends.
We do karate together after school.
We don't just do karate, Milton.
These fists are registered weapons.
In fact, I've already gotten a few calls about joining the Navy seals.
Navy seals? You're afraid of baby seals.
Gah! That's awesome.
That kid from the black dragon dojo just whaled you with Not cool, man.
Not cool.
Aren't you gonna do anything? Wait, I thought you guys knew karate.
Yes, we do.
But they know it better.
It's cool.
I got this.
Why did we learn his name? Now I'm gonna miss him.
Hey, I like your outfits.
You guys cheerleaders? No.
Well, Brian used to be.
So, you got a problem or something? - I didn't come over here to fight, man.
- Rah! Okay, you probably shouldn't have done that.
I know you're with me, but hold it steady we 'bout to lift it off the ground, now are you ready? wave 'em in the sky and let 'em fly high put 'em in the sky and let 'em fly high Get him! baby you and I, together we can really fly high come all hung up, get my feet off the ground we movin' so high the way you do the things you do, you make me go nuts cannot hide I got admit I got a little crush so if you sayin' that we can go, will you just show me the sign? and go, we gettin' ready, I just wanna wave 'em goodbye let's see your smokin' body, worry I won't hold ya Hah! Enjoy your pudding.
high high, ay ay yo, high high catch up eventually, by now the jet is gone it's so far away you need to change time zones this ninja kicks around me, man, how does he do it? no, ask me as a prank, I'll tell you that's how I do it all 'round around around the world, hey! I know you're with me, but hold it steady we 'bout to lift it off the ground, now are you ready? high high high high.
What? That was the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life, And I've been to the ice capades.
All tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we can have a ball, run up the wall this is how we do and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you here we go, let's start the party chop it up like it's karate everybody don't you get all tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we can have a ball, run up the wall this is how we do and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
Hi, I'm Sensei Rudy.
And I run the Bobby Wasabi martial arts academy.
Fun day at the beach ruined by a gang of ninjas? Wipe out! Come on down to the Bobby Wasabi martial arts academy today.
And I'll teach you how to throw a foot-fist fiesta! Now that's what you call marketing, fellas.
What'd you think? We think this is the worst dojo in the Bobby Wasabi chain.
What? Are advancing.
Students.
If you don't win two belts at the next tournament, We're closing you down.
Closing me down? Yah! Oh! Whoo! I love doing that.
- Ha! - Dude, Eddie just got dusted by Marge the lunch lady again.
Guys, what are you doing? They said if we don't win two belts.
At our next tournament, they're shutting us down.
Yo, Rudy, you wanna win some belts? You should get that new kid Jack in here.
He was awesome! At lunch he took out four black dragons all by himself.
I don't care about some slap fight at school.
Martial arts isn't about beating kids up in the lunchroom.
It's about getting better through hard work and discipline.
What? You should be happy it came out the right end.
That new kid Jack is on his skateboard again! I'm in pursuit.
Everyone focus.
Jack! Come here! Jack! Whoa! Watch out! That boy just came right out the wall! Okay, you guys have got to try that.
- Come here, you.
- Gotta go.
Sorry about the wall.
Who was that kid? - Jack.
- Oh! You're in big trouble, Jack.
But if you join my dojo and help me win two belts, I'll tear up this report and you won't have to go to juvie.
- Juvie? - That's jail for kids, fella.
I would join your dojo, but I'm not a karate guy.
I'm a skater.
You took out four black dragons all by yourself.
And did a perfect flying side-kick through my wall.
Okay, the truth is my grandfather was a karate Sensei.
He even trained Bobby Wasabi for all of his movies.
Your grandfather trained Bobby Wasabi, The founder of this dojo and star of such classic movies.
As "samurai beach party," "kung fu cop," - And "nana was a ninja"? - Yep.
You know this dojo was built.
On the principles of the Wasabi code.
We swear by the light of the dragon's eye.
To be loyal and honest and never say die.
Wasabi! - So do we have a deal? - Deal.
kickin' it with you.
- Hey, Jack.
- Hel-lo, Kim! Um, can I talk to you for a minute? Guys, can you give me a sec? Vamoose.
That means go.
I know what "vamoose" means.
Looks like you know something about karate.
A little bit.
So what are you doing at Bobby Wasabi? You should be training at the best dojo in town.
Really? What do you know about karate? Hi-yah! I guess you do know a little something about karate.
This place made me a black belt.
Everything at the black dragon is best of the best.
I heard if Bobby Wasabi doesn't win two belts at the tournament this week, Their doors will finally close.
I've got to get him to join us.
Ah, Jack, I've heard so much about you.
I want you to know that if you join this dojo, You will become like a cobra fast, dangerous.
And quite comfortable sleeping in a basket.
What Sensei is trying to say is if you train here, We'll make you a champion.
Check out this bo staff.
That is 4oz of perfectly-balanced graphite.
It's the same one the astronauts use.
You know, for when they need a bo staff in space.
Yes, very nice.
Excellent.
Whoa, you almost took my head off! So what do you say, Jack? Will you join the black dragons? I'd like to, but I can't.
Jack, come on.
Bobby Wasabi's a joke.
Come on, it's not a joke to me.
I gave my word.
It's the Wasabi code.
"the Wasabi code.
" Zip it, Frank.
- Well, here you go.
- You keep it.
Let it be a reminder that you're always welcome here.
Wow! Thanks! But that was my bo staff.
- My mom gave it to me - And I gave it to her.
That's right.
You heard me.
I'm seeing her! What? Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
Sorry doesn't cut it, Jack.
Wait, where did you get that astronaut bo staff? It was a gift from the black dragons.
- See, we can all use it.
- Ah, no no.
Students from this dojo are forbidden from even entering the black dragon.
What? You can't forbid me from doing anything.
How could you betray me like this? If it wasn't for me, you would have been banned from this mall for two weeks.
Banned from the mall? Wait, you said I was going to juvie.
You know, I say a lot of things.
I'm what they call chatty.
You lied to me.
You broke the the Wasabi code.
What? Kim was right, this place is a joke.
I'm out of here.
Fine, go ahead.
- Who needs him? - We do.
What have I done? Come back! Come back! Come back! - Jack, you're back.
- I'm just here to get my stuff.
- What's going on? - We're closing.
No Jack, no belts, no dojo.
Milton David krupnick.
So this is your french horn lesson, huh? Dad, I'm sorry.
I was taking karate lessons because kids kept beating me up.
For taking french horn lessons.
Let's go, Milton.
You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself.
It's closing anyway.
This is the only place I felt I really belonged.
I'll let my bully know I'm available.
Now my mom's gonna send me back to Mrs.
King's dance academy.
My body was not made to mambo.
Guess I'm a lone wolf again.
And that's how I like it.
Don't think for a second I'm gonna miss any of you meatbags.
See you around, guys.
Milton, hang on.
Why don't you show your dad how you can break a board? Break a board? I can barely cut a well-cooked piece of fish.
Just believe in yourself and do it.
I can't.
When I was born, my parents thought they had given birth to a baby bird.
- I mean that - Do it, krupnick! A-ah! Holy Christmas nuts! - Milton? - That ain't no baby bird right there, huh-uh.
That was unbelievable, Jack.
These guys are your friends.
They didn't break the the Wasabi code.
- I did.
- I broke it too.
You don't walk away from your friends when they need you.
Wasabi? Wasabi.
- Whoo! - Yeah! Hup! - Ah! - Don't you get all tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we can have a ball, run up the wall this is how we do - Whoa! - Whoa! here we go, let's start the party chop it up like it's karate everybody - Oh! - Hup! we can have a ball, run up the wall this is how we do Hup! Wasabi! Ladies and gentlemen, Please welcome the black dragons.
And now our visitors: The Wasabi warriors! Let the competition begin! Okay, guys, Eddie's up first.
Aw, man.
Hey.
Jack, the guy I'm fighting is huge.
Oh, come on, he's not that big.
Wow! What do they feed you, brother? You're going down.
I don't think I can do this.
Even Marge the lunch lady throws me around.
Eddie, look, this is your day to change all of that.
If losing to Marge gets you angry, then use it.
- Come on, man.
- Come on, Eddie! - You got this one.
- Come on, Eddie! Come on, man.
You going down.
Ha ha ha ha! Marge! He did it! We got our first belt! Okay, nunchucks are up next.
Jerry, all you gotta do is Save it, Jack.
I got this.
- All right.
- All right.
Come on, Jerry! Ha! Ha! Not bad.
Check this out.
- Yeah.
- Whoo! - Hey, man, are you okay? - Everything is purple.
Okay, Milton, you're up next.
If you can break more boards than your opponent, we win our second belt.
I'm ready, Rudy.
Would you please take off the oven mitts? By oven mitts do you mean weapon warmers? I love you, Milton! I love you too, dad! Wasabi! Ya ya ya! Whoo! Double it.
Yes! My man's going for the win! Milton! - A-ah! - You go, baby bird! - He's got the belt.
We're saved! I get to keep the dojo! Eat that, black dragons! You don't have Milton krupnick to kick around anymore.
- Ah! Stop! - No no! He's doing a nipple twister! That's illegal.
Milton, you lost the belt.
It was in your hands.
You have any idea what that means? It means I just had the best moment of my life.
That's it.
I have to move back in with my parents.
Rudy, we've still got a chance.
Jack's doing the vertical peg kick.
I was hoping we'd be on the same team, Jack.
But now I'm gonna have to take you down.
You know, I think you have a little crush on me.
Ew, no.
Yeah, I think you do.
He can't win that belt, Frank.
You know what you have to do.
- Hi-cha! - Ah! - Oh no, he didn't! - Ow! Frank, that is so wrong.
You are banished from this dojo.
Banished, I say! - Rudy, I can't get up.
- Yes, you can.
You're the champ.
You gotta get up.
You gotta get up, champ! Rudy, I can't get up because you're kneeling on my leg.
Oh sorry.
My bad.
Okay, scorpion, go kick out that peg.
So we can say goodbye to Bobby Wasabi forever.
I'm not gonna do it.
- I quit.
- What? - You're nothing but a cheater and a big baby.
- Nuh-uh.
Take that back! Take that back! Oh don't don't ugh, really? So are you gonna be able to do this? I don't know.
Your whole dojo's counting on you.
If I do it, will you admit you have a crush on me? I do not have a crush on you! Mm-hmm.
I can't believe he's gonna launch off one foot.
That's one bad mama-jama.
He's not launching off his foot.
He's launching off his hands.
That's only been done once before.
By a man named Bobby Wasabi.
Whoa.
Now my mom's gonna send me back to Mrs.
King's dance academy.
Don't think for a second I'm gonna miss any of you meatbags.
This is the only place I felt I really belonged.
- We got our belts! We got our belts! - Yes.
I hate Bobby Wasabi! Come on, guys, we're going home.
- You know what I'm feeling? - I think we're all feeling it.
Whoo! Wasabi! Okay, guys.
Come on, let's get to work, all right? Kim, what are you doing here? I quit the black dragon.
You guys were all right in the tournament, But the way I see it, you need all the help you can get.
Whoa whoa whoa.
You're gonna just walk in here and assume you're gonna be a part of our dojo? - You have to pass a test.
- Okay.
Ha ha ha ha ha! - What do you think, guys? - She's in.
- Got my vote.
- A+.
Kickin' it with you!