Kingdom (2007) s01e01 Episode Script

Here are your brother's thIngs.
SIgn here.
Mr KIngdom.
The sea always gIves up Its dead.
ThanKs.
NeIl.
-All rIght.
Ted? -All rIght.
BeautIful mornIng.
SIdney.
1 .
050 mIllIbars and holdIng.
over the Azores.
(INHALES DEEPLY) AgaIn? How many tImes do you want me to sue the PlannIng AuthorIty.
Mr Snell? They can't buIld a car parK there.
It's not rIght.
From memory.
thIs'll be the 1 7th tIme you've brought an actIon on the same Issue.
-EIghteenth.
-EIghteenth? Oh.
forgIve me.
One of them must have slIpped through my synapses.
-But they're wrong.
-Well.
they may well be wrong.
Mr Snell.
and I sympathIse.
but they have the law on theIr sIde.
They've been through all the usual rIgorous procedures.
As I recall.
you appealed.
It went through three separate courts of InquIry and all the way up to the Secretary of State for the EnvIronment.
All of whom.
at some poInt.
you trIed to sue or legally challenge.
You even trIed to sue the barrIsters I engaged to argue your case In court.
They gave me the wrong advIce.
No.
Mr Snell.
I gave you the advIce and It remaIns the same.
Drop It.
Ah.
but I've been doIng some research.
(GRUNTS) just leave them down there.
wIll you.
Mr Snell? I'll pIcK them up and go through them later.
Oh.
and I'll need legal aId.
-Why can't he wash? -I thInK he does.
It's hIs clothes.
Over the years they've become Impregnated wIth hIs unIque sIgnature.
He means well.
Where would the world be wIthout people lIKe Snell? A lot fresher.
It's not entIrely hIs fault.
MIllIe's new charcoal dIet Isn't helpIng.
-MornIng.
-Now.
sort.
read.
Inwardly dIgest.
and brIng your sharp legal mInd to bear on whether there's a case -agaInst the PlannIng AuthorItIes.
-I've got my own case? MarKet ShIpborough's very own JarnDYce VJarnDYce.
-Snell versus everybody else.
-ThIs came for SImon.
just fIle It wIth the others.
would you? Don't suppose there was anythIng from the banK.
was there? No.
-I pIcKed these up yesterday.
-Would you lIKe me to No.
I'll have to go through them.
The polIce wIll probably want them bacK.
-You all rIght? -Me? Gosh.
yes.
Yes.
Never been all rIghter.
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) Cheers.
An hour and a half.
Do I looK 60? Not yet.
AsK me agaIn at mIdnIght.
NInety mInutes left of lIvIng and then It's downhIll all the way.
SheIla? SheIla! (PHONE RINGING) Peter KIngdom.
Oh.
no.
When? PETER: Lyle? Lyle! Lyle! -SheIla Larsen.
Larsen wIth an ''en''.
-Ah.
here we are.
Last wIll and testament.
dated a year ago.
How dId she You screamed? I bellowed manfully.
You'll Know when I scream.
Probate.
A heart attacK.
they thInK.
PossIbly a stroKe.
But I'm on PlannIng.
And there you were thInKIng nothIng ever happens In MarKet ShIpborough.
No.
what I saId was.
It's not quIte London.
Well.
maybe.
but we have our promInent cItIzens.
Should you stay on after your artIcles.
and should lIfe sadly run Its course for some of our clIents.
I can promIse you the estates of two televIsIon presenters.
a thrash metal drummer.
and an actor who played a sex offender In THe Bill.
Can London boast that? I thInK not.
No.
MIllIe.
ThIs Is busIness.
I'll taKe thIs puppy.
PETER: Oh.
I understand that next to the lure of London's brIght lIghts.
MarKet ShIpborough must seem lIKe a very dozy East AnglIan bacKwater.
PoInt Is.
here you belong.
PractIsIng law In London Is lIKelIght beer.
It may looK lIKe law and smell lIKe law.
but when you swIg It rIght down.
It doesn't have the same effect.
Here It's more human.
MornIng.
jIm.
You Know everyone.
everyone Knows you.
john.
sorry.
You maKe a dIfference.
that's the poInt.
Hmm? ParKIng's just as crap.
though.
LYLE: Wow.
Now those are cars.
Sunglasses.
Lyle.
You're a solIcItor.
not a hItman.
DamIen.
Peter KIngdom.
ThIs Is my artIcled clerK.
Lyle Anderson.
Gosh.
last tIme I saw you.
you were.
what? Seven.
DurIng Mum and Dad's dIvorce.
He bought me a football.
DId I? I'm afraId that Is the devIl of beIng a laWYer.
We're only ever around durIng a crIsIs.
I'm so sorry about your mother.
She was such a lIfe force.
59 Is no age.
Well.
It was to her.
It's probably a good thIng.
She hated gettIng old.
So -Shall we go through? -Mmm.
So.
who found her? Some bloKe called Rupert.
You heard of hIm? I dIdn't catch hIs surname.
Rupert? No.
I thInK I'd remember a Rupert.
Oh.
rIght.
so he's not In the wIll.
then? Not as far as I'm aware.
no.
I checKed the wardrobes upstaIrs.
He certaInly wasn't lIvIng wIth her.
Last thIng we need Is some leech of a boyfrIend crawlIng out of the woodworK and spoIlIng the InherItance.
Well.
quIte.
(BUBBLING) Sorry.
To be honest.
I just want thIs whole thIng wrapped up as soon as possIble.
I can't be schleppIng up here all hours.
Well.
I'll certaInly bear your request In mInd.
But you should remember that our clIent Is your mother's estate.
not you.
Our job Is to gather In the assets.
pay the debts.
and then dIstrIbute the resIdue amongst the benefIcIarIes.
just pull your fInger out.
wIll you? And don't racK up the fees.
(CLEARING THROAT) Then we can get thIs thIng done and dusted.
What's your brother maKe of all thIs? He does Know your mother's dead? I mean.
what a tosser.
Why should we help hIm? Tosser or not.
we're not worKIng for hIm.
we're worKIng for hIs mother.
Death.
especIally sudden death.
often leaves a great deal unsaId and a whole heap of unanswered questIons.
WIthout us.
many famIlIes would tear themselves to pIeces.
Ah.
here we are.
The other son.
MarK Larsen.
-You can manage on your own.
can't you? -Are you havIng a laugh? Only I have to fInd somewhere to parK.
MInd you.
you should fInd It a doddle wIthout thIs to carry.
Oh.
Lord.
-Has she gone? -Who? -Mrs ThIng.
-Where? Oh.
never mInd.
-Is Mr KIngdom In? -No.
I'm afraId he Isn't.
Mrs Well He's out.
LooK.
I don't Know how long It Is sInce you two haven't spoKen.
or what the reason Is.
but It ends here.
do you understand? DecIsIons are gonna have to be taKen whIch need the paIr of you to be on speaKIng terms.
-It wasn't me.
It was hIm.
-Oh.
great start.
ThanK you.
-We're dIfferent people.
Mr KIngdom.
-No.
you're dIfferent.
Oh.
Is that rIght? Well.
looK at me and tell me you haven't already been through Mum's stuff and pIcKed out the best bIts for yourself.
-Why would I do that? -I don't Know why.
you just do.
Do you have a brother.
Mr KIngdom? My posItIon Isn't relevant.
LooK.
It's very sImple.
After a few donatIons.
the resIdue of your mother's estate Is splIt between the paIr of you.
all rIght? But she specIfIcally wanted thIs dealt wIth fIrst.
the contents to be shared between you.
-These yours? -I don't thInK so.
-Well.
she wanted you both to have them.
-Well.
they're crap.
Hang on.
they're not some modern artIst.
are they? You Know.
Tracey whatever.
or DamIen thIngy.
are they? EmphatIcally not.
-Then what the hell's she playIng at? -Perhaps she thought you'd lIKe them.
Well.
she was wrong.
Please.
just sort out the money.
Sorry.
-I'm glad Mum chose you.
-ThanK you.
ThanK you very much.
Well.
we'll try not to let her down.
-BeatrIce? -Anywhere here's fIne.
Have you got $20? (STAMMERS) What are you doIng here? StayIng.
Not for long.
Couldn't stand It any longer.
so I checKed myself out.
Do you have anyone that could help me wIth these? Ooh.
perfect.
Anyone maKIng tea? Hello.
MIllIe.
Wow.
-You can't.
-Well.
she's She's my sIster.
(SIGHS) -Mr KIngdom? -Yes.
Rupert Bennett.
I was wIth SheIla Larsen and I come about money.
Oh.
Well Rupert Bennett? I'm afraId there's no provIsIon for a Rupert Bennett In the wIll.
Oh.
no.
I'm not after that type of money.
I'm a male escort.
She hIred me to sleep wIth her for the nIght.
ThIs Is my InvoIce.
-I always lIKed thIs room.
-Yes.
well.
don't go gettIng Ideas.
Last nIght was a purely temporary measure.
-Where dId you sleep? -Sofa.
-Why? -Why? Because the floor Is uncomfortable and MIllIe hogged the basKet.
Does Gary Know you're here? Course not.
What's It got to do wIth hIm If I want to dIscharge myself? Well.
It Is usually a joInt decIsIon.
Isn't It? It's a prIvate clInIc.
I can maKe up my own mInd.
Anyway.
you Know how I hate It when people get clIngy.
You dIdn't sleep wIth hIm? Tell me you dIdn't sleep wIth your doctor! Why Is It all my fault? He slept wIth me.
too.
Sugar.
WIth the lIght behInd you.
you could've been SImon.
I don't thInK so.
No.
of course not.
You're much too awKward.
(SIGHING) Not so much mIlK.
eIther.
(WHISPERING) What are you gonna do wIth her? Well.
maybe Bugger.
LYLE: Great.
everyone else I qualIfIed wIth Is In and out of the HIgh Courts.
Me? I move your old toys round MarKet ShIpborough.
Well.
that's because they made the mIstaKe of gettIng good degrees from well-regarded unIversItIes.
Your genIus.
Lyle.
was to avoId such an obvIous route to legal stardom.
No other candIdate I IntervIewed chose hIs unI on the basIs of there beIng a snooKer room In every Hall of ResIdence.
The essentIal qualIty for success Is to be yourself and you.
Lyle.
have mastered the art of yourself-ness to a hIgher degree than Well.
to a hIgher degree than you managed to get In your fInals.
If I can put It that way.
Have you got a screwdrIver? ThanK you.
just shove them down there.
I'll deal wIth them later.
(MILLIE GROWLING) (PETER CLEARS THROAT) Uh.
SheIla Larsen.
accordIng to the banK statements.
has been usIng thIs Rupert guy about twIce a month for the past sIx years.
Yes.
well.
sadly.
Rupert Is gonna have to waIt In the queue for hIs money lIKe everybody else.
Pop quIz.
Lyle.
Order of dIstrIbutIon of estates? Mortgages fIrst.
and then funeral and our expenses.
Exactly.
One reason why beIng a solIcItor Is more rewardIng than solIcItIng.
-Next? -Inland Revenue and Customs and ExcIse.
Yes.
After whIch Rupert and others can present theIr bIlls for servIces rendered.
And then? SpecIfIc legacIes and fInally.
resIdues to the boys.
Excellent.
Yes.
banKs.
funeral dIrectors.
tax collectors.
laWYers and whores all come before famIly In the eyes of probate law.
It's InterestIng.
Isn't It? She was usIng thIs Rupert for sIx years.
whIch Is exactly the length of tIme her sons haven't been on speaKIng terms.
FamIlIes are weIrd.
(MILLIE GROWLING) She's stIll growlIng at me.
Yes.
Yes.
they are weIrd.
aren't they? Off you pop bacK to the Larsens.
See what you can fInd.
(WATER SLOSHING AROUND) OI! Oh.
hey.
Now then.
you can't do thIs.
I'm wIth KIngdom SolIcItors.
We're the executors of her estate.
Peter? Problem.
You'd better come over.
The cars weren't hers.
They were leased.
A bIt heavy-handed to grab them bacK when she only just dIed.
Isn't It? No.
she was behInd wIth her payments.
They sent her letters.
The fact that she dIed was just a coIncIdence really.
They were gonna taKe them bacK anyway.
And I found all these under the spare bed.
Doesn't looK lIKe she opened her post for months.
Oh.
credIt cards.
February.
RIght up to the lImIt.
1 5.
000? Well.
looKs lIKe there's a lot of worK to be done.
doesn't It? -Is there some sort of leaK? -MIght be.
Yes.
-Mr KIngdom.
-Oh.
Mr Snell.
what a pleasant surprIse.
I was wonderIng how the case was goIng.
Oh.
oh.
really very well.
very good Indeed.
yes.
What do you thInK of what I turned up? -Uh.
turned up.
remInd me.
-In the papers.
Oh! Well.
In fact.
I was so IntrIgued.
I gave them to my young assocIate here.
Mr Anderson.
for a second opInIon.
Oh.
so you thInK we've got a chance.
then? -Only we've gotta stop them.
-Well.
It's somethIng we must dIscuss.
It's very complex.
There's lots of LatIn.
Oh.
I Know.
So you'll rIng me and let me Know when to come In? Well.
yes.
only perhaps not so much In as In the open aIr.
Yeah? -Oh.
you do that.
do you? -Oh.
yes.
Yes.
we laWYers are much more outdoors these days.
The stuffy days of the stuffy solIcItor In hIs stuffy offIce are long gone.
Yeah.
I'll deal wIth all those.
You plough straIght Into Snell's papers.
The quIcKer he realIses he has no case.
the quIcKer we get rId of hIm.
And the quIcKer thIs town gets Its much-needed bloody car parK buIlt.
Peter? I don't mInd the company.
It's the starIng I draw the lIne at.
-StarIng? -It's not a lounge.
-I'm not a televIsIon.
I have to worK.
-I'll have a word wIth her.
-No.
you won't.
-I wIll.
I Know you.
She's all you've got.
I've no Idea who she Is.
Where dId you fInd her? In SImon's wallet.
So he.
um He never mentIoned her? (CHUCKLES) Well.
you Know SImon.
He never talKed about anythIng of substance.
Though I'm sure he had more than hIs faIr share of gIrls.
TaKe It from me.
I'm a woman.
I Know these thIngs.
Do you thInK they'll ever fInd hIs body? Well.
after sIx months It seems unlIKely.
Well.
I'm just pleased your father wasn't here to have to deal wIth It.
He had a hard enough tIme wIth BeatrIce.
Do you vIsIt her? -WhIch InstItutIon Is she In now? -My InstItutIon.
Is that wIse? -It's just the way It Is.
you Know.
-You are good.
Peter.
EverythIng always falls on your shoulders.
doesn't It? When your father had AlzheImer's.
BeatrIce.
SImon How long before he's offIcIally declared dead? SIx and a half years.
Hard to thInK you're now my only nephew.
Mmm.
Is It that tIme already? Oh.
my.
-Peter.
walK me to the dInIng room.
-Of course.
OKay.
-Have you heard of doggIng? -Um.
yes.
Aunt AurIel.
I have.
Really? Oh.
Oh.
It was news to me.
DIffIcult enough to do It In a car at all.
wIthout the heavy-breathIng brIgade starIng In at you.
The old Rover had bench seats In the front.
You're a wIcKed and Insane old woman.
AurIel.
-Why don't you stay for some soup? -Um.
yes.
Yes.
why not? Absolutely.
-I'd rather you dIdn't do that.
-Do what? Hey.
do you mInd? You can have them bacK.
I just want some copIes fIrst.
She's stolen my Keys.
I'm not puttIng up wIth thIs.
Peter.
I'm not some football to be KIcKed around.
No.
you're rIght.
You've also had a fax from the Land RegIstry about the charges on SheIla Larsen's house.
That should cheer you up.
-Are they sure? -That's what It says.
-Who am I to doubt? -You're not gonna belIeve thIs.
-Snell has got a case.
-What? He's got grounds for appealIng agaInst the PlannIng decIsIon.
No.
no.
that's ImpossIble.
Oh.
God.
Can GlorIa have her Keys bacK? She had to breaK Into her own house tonIght.
At least she has a house.
Never owned anythIng.
-Never been allowed.
-BeatrIce.
So whIch room's goIng to be mIne? Oh.
It'll need redecoratIng.
But I I thought you weren't stayIng long.
Well.
I have a rIght to be comfortable.
And I want my own entrance.
-BeatrIce.
I can't do that.
-Course you can.
One of those bIg metal staIrcases up the outsIde.
No.
thIs Is a lIsted property.
The Internal and external features have to be In KeepIng.
-In KeepIng wIth what? That's absurd.
-Well.
It's the law.
Well.
whoever saId that the law Is an ass was rIght.
Well.
It may well be an ass.
but It's a stubborn one.
And.
I may poInt out.
It's also an ass that Keeps you In vodKa and hIgh heels.
What Is It you want from me? What are you after? You want me to be grateful.
Is that It? Grateful that you're my brother? PETER: Is that better? Hello? Oh.
hell.
blast.
pants and damnatIon.
It's the only place you can get what passes for a phone sIgnal In MarKet ShIpborough.
Mr Snell successfully contested the buIldIng of a phone mast.
MInd you.
wonderful vIew.
I recKon In our tIme we've done the conveyancIng for just about every buIldIng as far as the eye can see.
Ah.
so there's no doubt.
then? What I just don't get Is why you sold the cars.
DId It not occur to you that maybe we mIght lIKe them? CertaInly more of an InherItance than fInger paIntIngs.
Yes.
but I dIdn't sell them.
They were taKen bacK.
-BacK? What do you mean.
bacK? -Well.
she dIdn't own them.
They were leased.
RubbIsh.
What would she do that for? She had loads of money.
Oh.
for once In your lIfe would you just be quIet? Oh.
oh.
It does speaK.
How well do you thInK you Knew your mother? (SCOFFS) What sort of dumb questIon Is that? As well as any chIld Knows theIr parent.
DId she gIve you any money durIng her lIfetIme? Any gIfts? No.
not to me.
-Well.
I got a tIe for my last bIrthday.
-No.
I mean large fInancIal gIfts.
She saId she'd gIve everythIng to us once she's gone.
LooK.
when can we get probate so we can have the house? Well.
you see.
that's the trouble.
She dIdn't own the house.
What? She tooK out a mortgage on the property and then last year.
she tooK out a second one.
So now the banKs own most of the house and In return she got a large sum of money In cash.
ThanK God for that.
Had me worrIed for a mInute there.
Yes.
but the problem Is.
we can't fInd any trace of the money.
Well.
what are you sayIng? I'm sayIng that the best part of $1 .
000.
000 has dIsappeared.
just doesn't maKe sense.
I mean.
If you had that KInd of money lyIng around somewhere.
hIdden.
why would you be up to the lImIt on your credIt cards.
payIng extortIonate Interest.
and only repayIng the mInImum every month? If you gave away that sort of money.
who would Know about It? You should asK Ted.
He Knows everythIng.
Oh.
we get them In all the tIme.
EspecIally now we've started doIng ThaI food.
See thIs one.
Brenda.
Husband left her for a younger model three year ago.
FInancIally.
never been more secure.
EmotIonally.
complete wrecK.
Was she a frIend of SheIla's? Oh.
yeah.
everyone was a frIend of SheIla.
If that jacuzzI of hers could talK.
maKe your haIr curl.
You never get an InvIte? Once.
but there was a documentary on mudsKIppers I had to watch.
Really? Am I the only one who never got an InvIte? Too late now.
So.
dId SheIla throw her money around? If she dId.
then lIKe the rest of her.
she never threw It In thIs dIrectIon.
LooK at thIs.
There.
that's what she dIed owIng me.
Good Lord.
That's the gross natIonal product of a small AfrIcan natIon.
Never Knew her pay cash.
OccasIonally she'd settle a bIt on It.
So you never saw her wIth large sums of money? If I had.
I'd have wrestled It from her.
Funny.
though.
I always got a feelIng somethIng sad there.
behInd her eyes.
Don't thInK she's that happy about one of her boys.
(TSKING) I can't belIeve I never got an InvItatIon.
-Ah.
just the man I wanted to see.
-Yeah.
but not now.
I'm I'm worKIng.
-Come round tomorrow.
-Oh.
rIght.
Yes.
-Usual.
please.
Ted.
-Two banana daIquIrIs? Umbrellas? -One wIth.
one wIthout.
-RIght-o.
NIce lad.
WIth hIm you don't have the worry about the humIlIatIon of rejectIon.
-Hello.
Is that Does Peter Know? -Well.
he wIll when he gets home.
And don't thInK of tellIng hIm.
DespIte what you must have heard about me.
I can maKe my own decIsIons.
I'm not a lIttle gIrl.
I don't need hIs approval.
No.
I'm sure you don't.
If I want to redecorate.
that's exactly what I'll do.
I lIve here.
too.
now.
-Can I help you? -Well.
I'm not sure.
I was gIven thIs address as belongIng to a Mr Rupert Bennett? Rupert? What's your name? -Peter KIngdom.
-A Peter KIngdom for you! -Come In.
-ThanK you.
He's only just got up.
He was worKIng last nIght.
Really? -You all rIght? -Um.
yes.
-You want some tea? -No.
thanKs.
I've just had some.
-Have you brought me my money? -Sadly.
no.
Ah.
It's all rIght.
SuzIe Knows what I do.
-There's no secrets here.
-Ah.
Well.
um.
It seems that SheIla Larsen got rId of a great deal of money before she dIed.
What.
and you thInK I tooK It? No.
I just wondered If you had any Ideas.
-You thInK I blacKmaIled her? -No.
no.
I was wonderIng If If she'd mentIoned anythIng to you.
-What.
pIllow talK? -If you lIKe.
Well.
the only tIme SheIla and I mentIoned money was on the fIrst nIght she hIred me.
-DId she seem worrIed about money? -No.
she dranK.
Yes.
but she dIdn't drInK that much money.
Ted mentIoned that SheIla seemed sad.
LooK.
I'm In a sad busIness.
Everyone who hIres me Is sad.
But I dId once fInd her cryIng.
It upset her that her two sons weren't speaKIng.
I remember her sayIng.
when everythIng else Is gone.
famIly's all you've got left.
-Yes.
-She wasn't wrong.
You don't thInK he could be lyIng? He Is a gIgolo.
What a sweetly old-fashIoned word.
No.
no.
I belIeve hIm.
Lyle? Lyle! -Any news on the pensIon fund front? -NothIng.
She dIdn't taKe out any lIfe polIcIes.
eIther.
In fact.
she cashed two In.
What on earth has she done wIth It all? And that would be who exactly? -Ah.
yes.
I was gonna tell you.
-Oh.
God.
what colour has she chosen? BlacK.
A very blacK blacK.
Oh.
and I set up that meetIng wIth you and Mr Snell.
-WIth me? -Well.
I'm far too busy.
Now.
they plan to buIld the new supermarKet over there.
wIth car parKIng for 200 cars over there.
And here's where the servIce road'll be.
So whIch part Is the area of contentIon exactly? Here.
AccordIng to the plans.
all thIs Is owned by the CouncIl.
-But It Isn't.
-It Isn't? No.
They don't own thIs bIt.
-Well.
who does? -I do.
You see.
orIgInally.
all thIs was land as owned by the nursery and they trIed to sell It off In the 1 930s.
Hence HoneysucKle Lane and Rose Bush Gardens.
Are you all rIght.
Mr KIngdom? -Mrs ThIng.
-Who? Oh.
rIght.
anyway Now.
you see that thIs Is the desIgnated land sold all lIKe lIttle boxes.
But the boxes never quIte met.
so there's a patch of land they never bought.
Yes.
but on the orIgInal plannIng applIcatIon Ah.
so they only assumed they owned It.
So I went bacK to the famIly who orIgInally owned It.
tracKed through the successors In tItle.
and bought It.
-How much for? -$1 0.
Mr Snell.
you're an aggravatIng nuIsance.
a tIresome pedant and a complete genIus.
That land cannot be developed wIthout your permIssIon.
I Know.
Though God Knows what we'll do for parKIng now.
She'd done It before we could stop her.
-I'll speaK to her.
-Well.
do thIs tIme.
She's a strong woman.
your sIster.
-You were rIght.
Snell has got a case.
-Well.
I'm very rarely wrong.
But how's the SheIla Larsen estate addIng up? Not quIte so well.
Mmm.
$20.
000 to a care home.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) (BEATRICE SQUEALING) (BEATRICE MOANING LOUDLY) Hey! Come bacK.
Oh.
It's you.
(SIGHS) -You are stIll taKIng your medIcatIon? -Of course.
I'm not stupId.
Anyway.
I don't get as vIolent as I used to.
Good.
Try not to drInK too much when you're on It.
-It's not a good combInatIon.
-You won't maKe me go bacK.
wIll you? If you do.
I mIght have to report Gary to the General MedIcal CouncIl.
ThanK you.
It seems to be my vocatIon.
gettIng people out of trouble.
-Do you mIss hIm? -SImon? Every day.
And every day not KnowIng Just maKes It worse.
I don't Know how you have the tIme to thInK about so many other people.
LooK at you.
wrapped In your shell wIth your suIt and your tIes.
and your eternally IrrItatIng polIteness.
What Is It? ProtectIon? -Or for KeepIng everybody out? -You tell me.
-Do people taKe advantage of you? -I don't thInK so.
-Only you.
-Yeah.
but I'm famIly.
20.
000? SIlly ShelIa I wouldn't have thought she had 20.
000 left to gIve.
-Oh.
So you Knew her quIte well.
then? -Very well.
Mr KIngdom.
I Knew her for over 30 years.
I thInK I Knew her better than anybody.
Well.
why.
then.
would you say that you would've thought she dIdn't have 20.
000 left? Everyone else I spoKe to.
IncludIng her chIldren.
seemed to thInK she was rather well off.
-Was there anythIng else In the wIll? -Such as? Was she specIfIc about any other arrangements? I'm not sure I follow.
Oh.
I suppose she never thought It would happen.
I have to show you somethIng.
Your eyes are younger than mIne.
Is thIs a ''D'' or a ''G''? It's a ''K''.
Hello? Sorry.
can't hear you.
I'm sorry.
but I really am powerless to help.
Although my brother's dead.
he Isn't.
Not legally at any rate.
In effect.
my brother's affaIrs are frozen.
In lImbo.
No longer In thIs world.
but not yet In the next.
-Sorry I couldn't be more help.
-Fax just came through.
-FamIly Records OffIce.
-Lyle.
you'd be wasted In London.
SheIla Larsen.
Is It? (ExHALES) If only people dIdn't Keep secrets.
lIfe would be so much sImpler.
wouldn't It? -What do you thInK? -Well.
personally I don't lIKe you.
-But professIonally.
you're a clIent.
-I was talKIng about the car.
PETER: Hello.
So.
are we In for a colourIng set or have you found the mIssIng money? -Uh.
yes.
Yes.
I have.
-Ah! You may fInd the news dIsappoIntIng.
On the face of It.
your mother was a pretty wealthy woman.
but I'm afraId the realIty was very dIfferent.
Her major asset.
the house.
was doubly mortgaged.
She was overdrawn at the banK.
and her credIt card and other debts amount to a consIderable sum.
The problem facIng the paIr of you Is the way wIlls are commonly executed.
Only after the dIscharge of debt and specIfIc bequests does the resIdue of the estate fall to you.
And I'm afraId after the mortgages have been paId and other debts dIscharged.
that you're left wIth nothIng.
-PrecIsely zero.
-No.
No.
that's That's It's not true.
I'm afraId It Is.
I've just bought a bloody Porsche.
I borrowed agaInst what I was gonna InherIt.
-IdIot.
-That's great.
Isn't It? Eh? Huge house.
pool.
jacuzzI.
sports cars.
expensIve gIgolo.
What do we get? Crayon pIctures of trees and sKy.
-Love you.
too.
Mum.
-Shut up.
It was hers.
-She could do what she wants wIth It.
-Yeah.
well.
hasn't she just? So what dId she do wIth all the money? I mean.
can we.
you Know.
sue to get It bacK? Maybe she wasn't quIte.
you Know.
rIght In the head or Oh.
I thInK she was.
No.
In my vIew.
she dId It on purpose.
I thInK she wanted to leave you somethIng a lIttle bIt more valuable than money.
I'll drIve.
Uh.
you may have to taKe the Porsche bacK.
DAMIEN: How come you can afford one of these and I can't? PETER: I Know.
the world Is so unfaIr.
Isn't It? Well.
what the hell are we doIng here? Ah.
DamIen and MarK! I've heard so much about you.
Your mother was such a wonderful woman.
It's a tragedy she's no longer here.
You must have been so proud of her.
Uh.
yeah.
Yeah.
we were.
Are.
I'm sorry.
Mrs Ashworth.
but we really have no Idea why we're here.
But I understand.
Well.
seems none of us Knew SheIla as well as we thought we dId.
Well.
thIs way.
ThIrty years ago.
thIs was a small.
run-down rectory that struggled to provIde a home for chIldren wIth severe specIal needs.
And your mother changed all that.
ThIs Is what your mother dId for us.
She donated money when she was wIth your father.
But after she was dIvorced.
we were able to buIld all thIs.
-DId you Know anythIng about thIs? -No.
Our mother.
are you sure? Her money paId for thIs? What the hell for? -Is thIs where the pIctures came from? -CertaInly Is.
And they were all paInted by the same person.
Karen Larsen.
She wanted us to name It after your sIster.
SIster? We haven't got a sIster.
Karen.
ThIs Is DamIen and MarK.
Hello.
HI.
Karen.
You maKIng sandwIches? -Hands.
-Oh.
rIght.
I'll wash my hands.
then.
jam sandwIches.
yum-yum.
ThIs Is my favourIte sandwIch.
(MARK CHUCKLES) DamIen? just leave me alone.
I don't thInK he Knows how to react.
I mean.
he'll come round eventually.
In hIs own way.
Mum always protected DamIen.
We always had to be careful when we broKe news to hIm.
MeanwhIle.
you were the one who was left to pIcK up the pIeces.
eh? That's what I do.
There's someone lIKe me In every famIly.
don't you thInK.
Mr KIngdom? Perhaps you're rIght.
Perhaps you're rIght.
If only I'd got past thIs party-goIng shell she used to wear.
maybe she would have told me.
Well.
shells are for protectIon.
Maybe she needed It to survIve.
SometImes you only dIscover the real person after they've gone.
LIsten.
If you'll permIt me.
I'd lIKe to waIve the fIrm's fees as executors.
That way at least you'll get somethIng out of your mother's estate.
ThanK you.
But I thInK she's left us more than enough.
You should donate It to thIs place.
Mum would have lIKed that.
Can we go now.
please? -I sacKed the decorators.
-DId you? Oh.
good.
-Why? -Not up to the job.
EIghteen cases.
No offence.
Peter.
but the man's a joKe.
No.
he Is not a joKe.
He Is a landowner.
Here are copIes of hIs Land RegIstry entry.
HIs proof of ownershIp.
-WhIch bIt does he own? -Well.
as a matter of fact.
you're standIng rIght In the mIddle of It.
You're trespassIng.
As wIll be every car that uses thIs proposed relIef road.
I'll buy It.
How much do you want? Oh.
no.
my clIent Isn't sellIng.
I'm afraId.
We'll Issue a compulsory purchase order.
You'll have to taKe me to court fIrst.
-But that'll taKe years.
-We Know.
What he don't Know Is I own lots of bIts of land lIKe thIs all over town.
just where they plan to buIld the sewage worKs.
the leIsure centre and the bypass.
Please.
BeatrIce.
she's fat enough already.
Well.
you should taKe her out more.
Why don't you taKe her wIth you when you go to SImon's beach? -How do you Know I go to SImon's beach? -just do.
People always maKe the mIstaKe of underestImatIng me.
-What do you thInK made hIm do It? -I (SIGHING) I don't suppose we'll ever Know.
Oh! You dIdn't put corIander In thIs.
dId you? Agh! (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) SImon's phone.