Konosuba: God's Blessing on This Wonderful World! (2016) s01e01 Episode Script

1
There we go.
Normally, I shut myself at home,
but today, I remarkably
made up my mind to go out.
This is because I want to
buy the first-run limited edition
of a popular online game
that goes on sale today.
Even though it was a five-hour trip,
I'm glad I finally got it.
Exclusive to specific stores?
They are really playing dirty.
This sunlight is my worst enemy
after three straight all-nighters.
Time to go home and play.
A girl from my high school?
Look out!
That truck is
Why would I choose now, of all times,
to do something so out of my character?
Satou Kazuma.
Welcome to the afterlife world.
I'm sorry, but you passed away
moments ago.
Your life was a short one,
but you are, in fact, dead.
Just one question
What about the girl
I pushed out of harm's way?
She's alive.
Thank goodness.
That means my death wasn't in vain.
Well, she wouldn't have got hurt,
if you hadn't pushed her out of the way.
That tractor was going to stop
before it hit her.
What? Wait a second.
What is it?
A tractor?
Yes, it was a tractor.
Then what happened?
Did I die by getting
plowed over by a tractor?
No, you died of shock.
You mistakenly thought
a truck ran over you.
I died of shock?
I've been doing this job for a long time,
but you're the first human to
ever die in such a bizarre way.
What's her deal?
What's the deal with this girl
I've never met before?
You were so terrified
that you even wet yourself.
You passed out and were taken
to a nearby hospital.
The doctors and nurses laughed at you
when you had a heart attack
Stop! I don't want to hear it!
I don't want to hear it!
I don't want to hear it!
Your family rushed to the hospital,
and even now they're laughing
at the cause of your death.
Stop! Stop!
Well then
I've vented enough stress for now.
You little
My name is Aqua.
I'm a goddess who guides humans
who die young to the afterlife.
You have two choices:
you can start from zero with a new life,
or you can go to Heaven
and carry on like an old man.
To tell you the truth,
Heaven isn't a dream place
you all imagine it to be.
There's no TV, manga or any game.
You don't even have a physical body,
so you can't do anything sexual, either.
There's nothing to do there
but to bask in the sun for all eternity.
What?
You wouldn't want to go to
a boring place like Heaven, would you?
Right
Actually, starting over from zero
isn't very fun, either.
On that note,
I've got a great offer for you.
You like games, don't you?
This world,
which has long enjoyed peace,
is being threatened
by the Devil King's army!
The livelihood of its citizens
is being trampled by monsters.
Everyone's in fear of the Devil King's
army's merciless slaughter!
Slaughter!
Since it's that sort of world,
everyone refuses to be reborn,
so the population is declining.
I see.
So we decided,
"Why not send people who died
in other worlds there with
their bodies and memories intact?"
There's no point sending me there
if I'm going to be killed, right?
That's why I'm doing you a big favor.
I'm granting you the right to
bring anything you choose with you.
It could be a powerful weapon
or a tremendous talent.
You'll be able to redo your life
with all of your original memories.
To top it off, you can bring one thing
of your choosing!
And the people of the parallel world
will earn someone
battle-ready to help them.
Not a bad deal, right?
Can I ask you something?
Will I be able to speak their language?
That won't be an issue.
Gods like us will provide you with help.
We'll overload your brain
so you can learn it instantly.
As a side effect, you might go
"poof" if you're unlucky, though.
What's left to do now is to
choose an ability or piece of equipment.
You just mentioned
something really serious.
What do you mean, "poof"?
-I never said that.
-Yes, you did.
Now, choose!
I'll grant you one power
that is second to none!
This is my intuition talking as a gamer,
but all of the abilities and equipment
here are totally awesome!
If I'm going to a world where magic exists,
I have to try magic out!
Hey, hurry up.
No matter what you pick,
it's all the same.
No one's expecting much
from an otaku anyway.
I'm not an otaku!
I died outside my house,
so I'm not a shut-in!
None of that matters. Just hurry up.
I still have lots of deceased humans
to guide, you know.
You
So egotistic just because
she's a little cute
Hurry up and decide, right?
I'll do just that, then.
Pick one thing to bring into
this parallel world, right?
That's right.
Okay, I pick you.
All right, stand still and
don't leave the magic circle.
Wait, what did you just say?
We have heard your request.
I shall take over your job
from now on, Aqua.
Kazuma's wish complies with
regulations and has been accepted.
Hey, what is all this?
What? You've got to be kidding me.
No, no, no!
Wait a minute.
This is not right!
Taking a goddess with you
is against the rules!
It's illegal! It is illegal!
Wait! Wait!
Please have a safe trip, Aqua.
Should you successfully
defeat the Devil King,
I will send someone to pick you up.
I may have the ability to heal
since I'm a goddess,
but I have no fighting skills at all!
There's no way
I can defeat the Devil King!
Hey, wait!
How does it feel to get dragged away
with the guy you ill-treated?
You've been designated as
the one thing I'll be bringing along,
so if you're a goddess,
use your godly power
or whatever to make my life
as easy as possible!
No!
I don't want to go to a parallel world
with a man like this!
Brave hero, I pray that
of many prospective heroes,
you will be the one
to defeat the Devil King.
If you do so, we shall grant
any wish you desire
as a gift from the gods.
Really?
That's my line!
Now, go forth on your journey!
No!
AXEL - THE TOWN OF BEGINNING ADVENTURES
It's a parallel world.
Hey, this really is a parallel world!
Wait, I'm really going to be using magic
and going on adventures
in this world from now on?
Goodbye, shut-in life! Hello, new world!
I can really start anew in this world!
Hey, shut up.
What if everyone thinks
my partner is a crazy woman?
Before I forget, isn't there something
you're supposed to give me?
Look at what I'm wearing.
I'm in a tracksuit.
Here I am in a fantasy world,
but all I have is a single tracksuit.
Isn't there a starter pack I should?
What the heck? Stop! Stop it!
I get it, okay? I'm sorry!
If you hate it that much,
then you can go home.
I'll work out the rest on my own.
What are you talking about?!
I'm in trouble because I can't go back!
What do I do? Huh? What am I going to do?
What am I supposed to do now?
Hey, calm down, goddess.
Now we should find the guilds first.
Going places to gather information
is what you do in RPGs.
You're supposed to be
some game otaku shut-in.
Why are you so reliable?
All right! Let's go, goddess.
Hey, wait.
You can call me "goddess" if you like,
but you can also call me Aqua,
so we don't cause a commotion.
I get it.
If you're a goddess, do you know
where we can find an adventurer's guild?
I'm a goddess.
There's no way I'd know about
every little lowly place like that.
Useless girl.
Thanks for buying.
Thank you. Up we go.
ADVENTURER'S GUILD
Looks like this is the place.
Scary!
Welcome! If you're dining in,
please take any open seat.
If you need job guidance,
head over to that counter inside.
Thank you.
Hey!
I haven't seen you here before.
What's with that weird clothes?
Oh, we've come a long way here,
and we just got into town.
I want to become an adventurer
to fight the Devil King's army too.
Is that right, you reckless kid?
Welcome to the gate to hell!
If you're looking for
the guild admission desk, it's over there.
Hey.
How can you make up a story
like that on the spot?
Listen, Aqua.
We must register with a guild by today
and find a place to stay at night.
Got it. I don't know
anything about games,
but I guess that's how it works
in worlds like this, right?
Exactly. All right, let's go.
Oh, wait.
You seem like a capable guy.
Why were you a shut-in otaku
with no friends or even a girlfriend?
Why did you seclude yourself every day?
Stop telling me that, girl.
Okay? Stop it immediately.
Hello. What can I do for you today?
Um, we'd like to become adventurers.
I see.
In that case, you'll need to
pay the registration fee.
Sure, sure.
What? Registration fee?
Do you have any money?
You dragged me here without any warning.
Of course I don't.
This girl is so useless.
Are you ready to order?
Um, I'm still thinking about it.
Please take your time.
Hey, what should we do?
We've already hit a roadblock.
Normally, we'll get a minimal
amount of equipment
and enough money
to cover basic living expenses, at least.
This is totally inhospitable.
Your reliability disappeared like that.
Well, I guess it was inevitable.
You really are a shut-in.
Don't call me that.
Fine. I guess it's my turn now.
Let me show you what a goddess can do!
You there, priest!
State your denomination!
I'm Aqua.
An object of worship for the Religious
Order of Axis: the goddess Aqua!
If you're one of my followers,
it'd be a huge help
if you could lend me some money!
I'm in the Eris Sect, though.
Oh, you are? I'm sorry.
Oh, young lady,
are you with the Axis Sect?
The relationship of the goddesses Aqua
and Eris is like
that of superior and subordinate.
This must be fate.
I overheard earlier
you couldn't cover the fee, right?
Here you go.
Please consider it
as Eris's divine blessing.
Still, no matter how devout
a believer you are,
you mustn't call yourself a goddess.
Uh, yes. I'm sorry.
Thank you very much.
He didn't even believe that I'm a goddess.
By the way, Eris is a goddess
ranked beneath me.
A believer of my subordinate
took pity on me
and even lent me money.
We've brought the registration fee.
It seems she doesn't want to
make eye contact with us.
Well then, let me explain.
Each adventurer
has his or her own occupation.
This is your registration card.
It keeps track of how many
monsters you've vanquished.
As your level increases,
you'll earn points
that you can use to learn skills,
so please work hard to raise your level.
One at a time,
place your hands over this crystal.
Like this?
With this, you will each learn
your current status,
so please choose your desired occupation
based on your status.
Here it comes!
Now my tremendous abilities
will be made apparent,
and there'll be
an uproar throughout the guild!
Yes, thank you very much.
Satou Kazuma, is it?
Let me see.
Average across the board,
with the exception of
decently high intelligence.
Oh, and your luck is extraordinarily high.
Of course, luck isn't
essential for an adventurer.
With this much luck,
I'd recommend you to become
a merchant or something similar.
Hey,
she's disapproving my adventurer's
lifestyle right off the bat.
What's going on?
Make my primary
occupation adventurer, please.
Well, you can always change occupation
when you level up!
You're right!
The weakest occupation, huh?
Aside from your intelligence
being below average
and your luck being the lowest,
all of your statuses are
drastically above average!
What? Does that mean I'm really amazing?
Amazing is an understatement!
The mage class which requires
intelligence, is out of the question.
Other than that, you can be
anything you want!
A crusader, sword master, arch priest
nearly any advanced class
right from the start!
I see. It's a shame there's
no occupation like goddess,
but in my case, maybe I'll be
an arch priest who heals her allies.
An arch priest!
An almighty class that commands
all recovery and support magic,
and even boasts enough strength
to stand at the front line!
Without further ado, welcome to
the Adventurer's Guild, Aqua.
All of our staff will be
looking forward to your future exploits.
Starting off as an arch priest
is incredible!
Someone might actually be able to beat
the Devil King, you reckless girl!
So there's no event like this for me?
It's the adventurer's life for us
starting today, Kazuma!
I thought you absolutely hated all this.
Did I?
Well, everything thus far
has been character creation.
Now our adventure is
finally about to begin!
Wait, this isn't right!
What isn't?
No, wait a second!
What's wrong? Did you forget
to use the bathroom before bed?
It's dark. Want me to go with you?
No! That's not it!
Keep it down!
We're sorry!
We didn't come here to be laborers.
Oh, that's right!
I need you to defeat the Devil King,
or I'll never be able to go home!
Her intelligence is lower than a human's.
All of the monsters near town
have been exterminated.
With no monsters,
no one will send us requests.
I didn't want to learn
such a harsh reality.
Thanks for your business!
What is it?
It's nothing.
Hey,
I was just thinking
let's run away from here
and do a kill quest.
We're only at level one,
so we don't have full set of equipment.
No worries.
As long as I'm with you,
it'll be over in a flash!
You can count on me!
I feel very uneasy about this.
Who do you think I am?
That's right.
You're a goddess, after all.
Yes! Just leave it to me.
And so our adventure began,
for real this time.
(KONOSUBA:
God's Blessing on This Wonderful World!)
(Episode 1: This Self Proclaimed Goddess
and Reincarnation in Another World!)
(Episode 2: An Explosion for This Chuunibyo!)