Life Unexpected (2010) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
wake up, it's monday.
It's cate and ryan on k-1000 moring madness It is 6:23, and if you are just waking up.
screw you Ryan and I, we have been up since 5:00.
Yeah, and as usual, arguing since 6:00.
If you're just tuning in to Morning Madness, Cate and I are in the middle of a rousing game of "Sex, Marry, Kill.
" I just did the Jessicas- sex Biel, marry Alba, and definitely kill Simpson.
Oh, um, you forgot Jessica Rabbit and Baby Jessica.
See, now, Cate is telling me that sh-she doesn't want to play because doesn't believe in marriage.
Screw marriage.
I like the sex and kill part better.
Wow.
Somewhere in Portland, Cate's boyfriend just breathed a huge sigh of relief.
There is no boyfriend.
We-- we're just hanging out.
God.
What happened? Nothing.
What'd he do to freak you out this time, huh? Did he give you a compliment? Did he want to meet the parents? What, what happened? Oh, he called me Oh, God, "The one.
" Oh, my God.
Okay, well, I hope you gave it to this guy.
I mean, I hope you did something crazy or even slightly violent like, like hurl a remote at his forehead.
I'm never telling you anything.
Good.
Ever Great.
again.
I love that.
Look, Cate, all right, it's called talk radio, okay? You get paid to spill your guts Stuey! Cate, I'm just, uh He did it again.
Your son seriously puts the "ew" in Stuey.
I swear to God, Lux, the state's not paying me enough to deal with this.
And you would think with your last name actually being Foster, you'd be somewhat equipped to be a foster parent.
Don't worry, in two days, you won't have to be.
And what's that supposed to mean? It means I'm turning 16.
I'm getting emancipated, and I'm getting the hell out of here.
Well, don't make promises you can't keep.
Oh Trace, you got to do this now? Oh, I can't go running in just one shoe.
Help me look for it.
Aah, I worked till 4:00.
No, working is teaching Western Civ to hormonal teenagers.
You drunk dialed me from your job.
Well, that's a perk of the career path, baby.
I don't think that opening up a bar and living above it was what your dad had in mind when he gave you the building.
Well, my dad said to do what I love, and I love to drink for free.
But you sleep until noon every day, you play video games.
Don't you ever want to grow up? I will.
After noon.
Uh-oh.
Hey, give me that.
Look what I found.
Good morning.
And we have got Linda on the line.
Hi, Linda, you there? Yeah, I'm calling 'cause I agree with Ryan.
I really want to meet someone and settle down and have a mlion babies.
It jt ses impossible.
Yeah, well, yoknow what's impossible is having a million babies.
Hey, Cate, you ever, uh, you ever wonder why you're 32 years old and don't have a maternal bone in your body? I mean, where's the biological clock? Where is that desire to make more than ramen noodles and dry toast? I learned it really early on, the only person you can depend on in this world is yourself.
I mean, if you expect anything else, you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Okay, well, on that uplifting note, that's our show for today, people.
I'm Ryan Thomas, alongside my clinically insane but moderately loveable cohost Cate Cassidy.
Clinically insane? Moderately lovable, okay.
Why is it on every single talk show across America, the guy is always the calm and stable voice of reason and the woman is the, you know, bitter, unlucky in love, crazy sidekick? You know, it's- it's kind of who you are.
Plus you threw a remote my head last night.
No, "threw" is very strong.
I tossed it.
It was more like a hurl.
You know, I thought you were going to catch it.
I didn't think you were going to throw it.
Could you be any louder? Seriously.
Calorie counting's not quiet.
Thank you very much.
So, um, uh I'll text you.
Ooh.
Okay.
Yeah, there was a bachelorette party last night, and Jamie was supposed to be working.
Instead he ends up with the maid of honor.
What's up with the beer guy? He's, like, three hours early.
Jamie, what am I paying you for? This place is trashed.
So was I.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, uh, uh, I need to get a signature from someone.
Okay.
Probably not you.
You know what? We have all the Thin Mints we need, but thank you.
Is that the Bud guy? It's a Girl Scout.
Samoas-- give me two boxes.
Get Trefoils.
Love those.
Actually, I'm I'm looking for Nathaniel "Ba-zile.
" "Baze-zile.
" Yeah, that's me.
No, wait.
You're Nathaniel Bazile? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
You live in a bar.
No, I live above a bar.
What can I, um? You want to take my cookie order or what? No.
I I'm not a Girl Scout.
I'm kind of comprised of half your gene pool.
Huh? I'm your daughter.
That's Wait, you're my what? Your daughter.
Dude, it is not a Girl Scout.
It's a girl.
Okay, one more time for the cheap seats.
You and someone had a kid.
You gave up that kid.
I am that kid.
And now I'm applying for emancipation.
Okay, from, from the people who adopted you? From foster care.
Dude, keep up.
Okay, so I was putting together the paperwork for my hearing, and it turns out that no one ever signed a permanent release of rights.
Here.
And my caseworker was going to take forever to get it signed, so when I saw your name and address on the top of the file, I just kind of Okay, basically, until you sign that piece of paper, you're still legally my dad.
Hey! Oh, Nate, oh, my God, I got to pee so badly.
Also, uh, we're having dinner at my parents' tonight.
It's potluck, so we need to figure out what to bring.
Mommy? Okay, okay, you got to get out of here.
We'll talk about this later.
Let go of ! Listen, Nate, Baze, whatever you go by-- I don't want to be here as much as you don't want to have me here, but my emancipation hearing is the day after tomorrow.
If I don't get these signatures, both signatures, then I'm going to have to spend another two years being bounced around crappy foster care.
With Scope-drinking moms, and creepy dads who try to hit on me, which, to be blunt, blows.
So if you could just sign this.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Oh, here.
And rifle through the memory banks of teenage girls you impregnated.
That'd be great.
Okay.
Great.
Um, hey, Cate Cassidy, that's your mom.
Cate with a "C, " okay? Are you good? Are we good? Are you cool? Wait, Cate Cassidy? That's my mom? Yes.
What, f r-from high school? Yes.
Who's Cate Cassidy? Cate Cassidy-- the one on the radio from K-100? Class of '94 Cate Cassidy? Yeah.
Cate Cassidy was pregnant in high school? Yes.
Wait, your names are Nate and Cate? Yeah.
Cate Cassidy never would have slept with you.
She was number one in the class.
She had a perfect 4.
0.
You seem to know a lot about this girl.
She despised you.
You're gross.
She hated you.
Did you roofie her? No, I didn't roofie her.
Wh-Wh-Who roofies people? She wasn't even your type.
If she was anyone's type Aw, who, Math? Was she your type? Because you were 300 pounds in high school.
Your type was anyone who you didn't accidentally eat for lunch.
Who is Cate Cassidy? Hahey.
Why are you hiding a teenager behind your back? Um You are not giving your yearbook to Goodwill.
I'm thinking my clothes are multiplying at night, but I think I've got everything now.
I-I got a good one here.
"Sex, Marry, Kill, " circa 1993.
Okay.
Mr.
Naracci from Sex Ed Okay.
The president of the chess club or this guy here that you have completely defaced.
This Nathaniel Oh, Ryan, no.
Ryan, seriously.
Give it to me! Goodwill does not want your yearbook.
I know you're trying to block me, but I Thank you.
Okay, go.
Oh, my God, is that a bowl cut? It's not a bowl cut.
It's a bowl cut.
No, it isn't.
I asked for Mary Stuart Masterson.
The woman just heard Dorothy Hamill.
Sure.
It's a bowl cut.
It's not a bowl cut.
Oh, this.
Cate All right, Ryan, what are you doing? Come on, seriously, what are you doing? Will you marry me? Ryan! Ow! What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?! You don't do that.
You don't just sneak up on somebody and propose to them while they're holding a ski.
Oh, yeah, well, you know, I tried to do it last night, remember? The one? Candlelight dinner? A gigantic remote hurtling towards my forehead.
This is going well.
Tracey, this is Lux.
Lux, right.
Gee, I knew that.
I'm sorry.
Like a Band-Aid, just rip it off.
Go.
Okay, it was high school.
It was 15 years ago.
It was a one-night thing.
And I didn't even know she had the kid.
And I always assumed that this girl Cate-- you know, like, took care of it.
"Took care of it"? That's an ugly choice of words.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
This is your? Yeah.
My daughter.
Look, you two are clearly having a moment, and if you could just give me Cate's number, and, uh, then I will, uh, get out of your obviously thinning hair.
Please? Whoa.
My hair's not my hair's not thinning, is it? Just a little.
No.
Nate, focus! What? What? Tracey, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call Cate out of the blue and say I'm with the daughter that I never knew she had? Sure.
It's an idea.
Yeah.
We've been together for two years! We haven't even lived together yet.
You don't really know me.
Oh, yeah.
I don't floss.
And I wear these these, like, little footy pajamas and a mouth guard at night when you're not around.
Did you know that? Actually, you know what? I do know that, Cate.
You know, I-I know you hate toes.
You hate toes! You do.
The word "moist.
" Buying ingredients.
And that you never get your hopes up so that you never get disappointed.
And I get it.
And I love you.
I love how you hum when you chew.
I love that you think it's weird that Kansas and Colorado touch.
I-I love that you're the only adult I know that still eats Cookie Crisps for breakfast.
The only thing I don't know is what happened to you to make you this screwed up! And this is not the speech I had prepared.
Wow, that was the sweetest thing that anybody has ever yelled at me before.
All right, go ahead, do it, you can propose.
Forget it.
Oh, Ryan! Ryan, but you said you wanted to propose.
I'm not doing it.
I already did.
No! But I think you should try it again.
No, it's done.
That's it.
I'm not doing it again.
Cate! Please just try it once.
Please? All right.
I'm ready.
One last time.
Cate? Yes? Will you marry me? Yes, I will.
Just give me the finger.
: Okay.
Mm.
ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi.
It's Cate.
Leave me a message.
Hi, Cate.
Um, it's, uh, it's Nate Bazile from Westmonte, and I need you to call me back when you can Hello? Uh, hi.
Cate? Cate it's Nate Bazile, and, um we kind of, uh, did it that time, and I need t Hello? Hello? Hey, she hung up.
Who was that? It was a wrong number.
She's obviously not gonna call you back.
So y-you're just gonna give up? No, I'm not giving up, I'm just, you know, I'm chilling out.
I think better that way.
Tell that to your fas t-diminishing brain cells.
What are you I'm just chillin' out.
I think better that way.
Yeah, I know.
If you want to chill, you do what normal teenagers do, okay? You text your friends, you post inappropriate pictures of yourself on MySpace, go watch YouTube.
I don't want to watch YouTube.
I hate YouTube.
See, this is exactly why I want to get emancipated.
That way, I'll never have to rely on incompetent grownups for anything ever again.
But have you seen the one with that lion? Christian? It makes me cry every time.
BAZE: Ugh! Dude! Man up.
You got to stop with this lion.
Two Australians purchased a lion cub from Harrod's Department Store.
They raised the cub like a puppy, and eventually it got so big, they set it free in Africa.
They came back a year later, and it recognized them.
Dude, what is wrong with you? How did he recognize them after all that time? That's ridiculous.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's watch "Dramatic Look" again.
With the gopher? Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's a hamster.
"Panda Sneeze.
" Have you seen that one? So good.
I thought you hated YouTube.
Maybe "hate" was a little strong.
What? Do you think we look alike? I mean, I see a resemblance in the eyes, the nose.
Mm? No? Mm-mm.
No? Me, neither.
If these Australians can find their lion, we can find our Cate.
Okay, it's, uh, high school nicknames, people.
Hosette.
Oh, right, right.
Cosette, yeah.
Sorry about that.
Uh, thanks for calling in, and try and stay out of those janitor's classes, will you? Uh, we have got Lux on the line.
Uh, Lux, areou there? What was your high school nickname? Lux? Hello.
You there? Cate? Cate? Wow, all right.
So you've gone through some some changes.
Uh, it's Baze, from high school.
I actuallyeally need to talk to you right now.
High school?! Wait a minute! You went to high school with Cate? Okay, maybe he can shed some light on your teen years.
No, Ryan, there will be no shedding of light.
Oh, there's gonna be plenty of shedding of light.
Wait-wait, so, Baze, Baze, Baze, when, uh, when's the last time you saw her-- smoking cloves behind the Dumpster? Was she campaigning against the patriarchy that is senior prom? What? Ryan! Let's not talk about high school, okay? Everybody knows that I hated high school What are you talking about? Who hates high school, Cate? What'd you have, like, a pizza face or something? No! Like, an unrequited love affair with a driver's ed teacher? Brian, will you Brian, stop! Or were you one of those girls that got knocked up on prom night? D Did you get knocked up on prom night? more like we are Oh, Baze Okay, Cate, I really need to talk to you outside in the parking lot.
What?! What is the matter with you? Okay, calm down.
Calm down? Is that how you get someone to calm down-- by calling them and humiliating them in public? I called you last night; you hung up on me.
Oh, my God, you haven't changed a bit.
Except your hairline.
Why does everybody keep talking about my hair? What? What is so important that you couldn't wait until after I was off the air? Kate, meet Lux our daughter.
Hi.
can't believe you here How did you find me? I mean, I'm so glad that you did, I just the last time I saw you, you were just so tiny, and now n-now you're so big, I no, I mean You're not big big.
You're proportional big.
Are you okay? Are you good? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
You know, uh, proportional.
And you have blonde hair.
She has something for you to sign.
What? Oh.
Uh, yeah.
I-I I need signature I can't get emancipated without this.
I'm sorry, what? Emancipated from what? Your parents? From the foster care syste m- she's never been adopted.
It's a long and pretty boring story, so if you'll just, uh, sign right there.
Okay.
Thanks.
Thank you.
That's it? Do you, um do you need anything? No, that should pretty much do it.
I just got to get this to Social Services.
I can take you.
Don't you have a radio show you got to finish? Yeah, I do.
But, oh, um, Ryan's in there, so I can take you if I can do that.
Well, I can, too, if Well, if you're sure you can? I can.
All right, then.
You wouldn't mind.
No, no, of course not, you know? I've got stuff I got to do.
Okay.
Well thanks.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Hey, we never got around to watching "Panda Sneeze," so you know where I live if you want to stop by anytime.
: Okay.
Bye.
A-Are you sure you're not gonna get in trouble for leaving the show? No, it's fine.
It's actually perfect.
Yeah, it's gonna make it a lot harder for Ryan to ask for the ring back this way, so Wait, Ryan? That's who you're dating? You guys are getting married? I-I love you guys! Red light.
Red light! So, um you listen to the show? Yeah.
Yeah.
Every morning.
Well, except for when I lived in Salem-- I didn't get the station.
It's literally the reason I asked for a new placement- well, that and my foster parents were, like, dealing drugs.
Prescription.
I'm sorry, I'm just still a little bit confused.
The social worker said that she was gonna have no problem placing you, that there were these waiting lists.
Well, I I don't know if you knew this, but I was born with this heart thing.
A hole.
I had to have a bunch of surgeries.
A baby on the operating table isn't exactly a selling point to prospective parents.
I was fine, but after everything, I was almost three, and most people, they want a baby.
I mean, not everyone, obviously.
No, obviously.
Look, I just want to be clear.
I just want to be clear.
It wasn't that, it wasn't that I didn't want a baby.
It's just that, I was your age.
You know, I should really get this to my caseworker before school.
But wouldn't you rather hold out and wait to see if somebody's gonna adopt you, if there was a chance of that? No one's gonna take me unless I have a government check attached.
No one wanted three-year-olds.
How many people do you think want teenagers? No, you're right, I probably don't know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
It's it's just that at 15, I thought I knew everything, also.
Almost 16.
There's probably a lot of things that you haven't considered, like do you know where you're gonna go to school or even live? Have-- I mean, how are you gonna make any money? No offense, but I haven't had a mom in 15 years.
I don't need one now.
MAN : Welcome to the K-100 Singles Booze Cruise.
With your hosts Cate Cassidy and Ryan Thomas from Morning Madness.
Sorry I'm late.
Hey, where you been? Um, I had to get Dramamine.
I hate boats.
No, I-I mean all day.
Have you been getting my messages? Uh, oh, yeah, I did, I did.
I was just avoiding you.
Okay.
Uh, excuse us, please.
Hmm, what are you doing? We need to talk.
Hey, let's not talk.
Let's just not do that.
Let's just banter for a little while.
What do you think? Cate, come on.
Hey, how are you? Please, I know, I should've mentioned the whole "pregnant class president" chapter of my life before the "not flossing" part, but, you know.
It's like I said, there's a lot about me you don't know.
In the past 36 hours, Mm-hmm.
you have violently attacked me with the remote, okay, you have mocked my marriage proposal, and then you had a kid that you never even mentioned just turn up out of nowhere.
If this makes you, you know, not want to marry me, that's okay.
I didn't say I didn't want to marry you, okay? I just want you to be honest with me.
I mean, is that too much to ask? You want me to be honest? This is who I am.
This is it.
I mean, you can ask anybody in that line, and they can tell you that I am your bitter unluck y-in-love sidekick that, you know, got knocked up at 16.
I don't trust people.
I don't want to commit.
This is why I didn't want you to give this to me in the first place.
Here.
Right.
Because this is what you do.
You push people away.
Me, your daughter.
You know, if you want to end this, Cate, that is your choice, okay? If you would rather yell at some guy from high school for being unaccountable, then look yourself in the mirror.
I can't fix it with her! I can't make it right.
She walked away from me.
I don't know what you want me to do.
I don't know, Cate.
I don't know.
But you probably should've done a little more than whatever it is you just did.
I see you turn 16 tomorrow.
Yes, and I'll be old enough to get emancipated, I can get my GED, get a job.
And is this your caseworker here? I am, Your Honor.
I've only been with Lux a few months.
She tends to change hands often.
What are you doing here? Well, I see that- seven different foster homes.
Well, that' s-that's not really my fault.
And whose is it? Surely you're not saying it's the seven different families who tried to take you in.
No.
I mean, I wanted a good home.
The state of Oregon just hasn't provided me with one.
So you have no permanent place of residence as of today? Well, as soon as my petition is granted, there's a studio not far from my school.
You're going to afford an apartment? what income? I have $3,000 in the bank.
Well, who's going to cosign your rental agreement? The whole point of getting emancipated is that I won't need it cosigned.
No landlord is going to rent to a minor I'll cosign, Your Honor.
I can do it.
Ah, come on.
You gave her a ride, let me sign the thing.
JUDGE: I'm sorry, who are you people? Uh, they're, um my birth parents.
Yeah, Lux and I, we go way back, Your Honor.
To when, yesterday? Hey, we bonded.
Oh.
Let me see that file, please.
Over what? Hmm? A panda sneezing? You want to bond, try being attached by an umbilical cord.
You know, like she remembers any of that.
Uh, no, 'cause if she did, she'd remember what a jerk you were.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Forgive me that I had some dreams and some goals that I wanted to accomplish.
What goals? To, what, own a loser bar with some stupid name? Did you Google me? Sir.
You own your own business, is that correct? Yes, Your Honor.
And you're a radio talk jockey? No criminal record, each in possession of a working vehicle.
I'm sorry, wh-what is going on? Okay.
I'm going to be very straight with you.
I am not granting you emancipation.
You have no income.
You have no permanent residence.
You filed a fee waiver in order to cover your court costs.
Now, Catherine Cassidy and Nathaniel Bazile are still legally your parents.
Uh, actually they're not.
I-I had that paper signed.
Those signatures were neither witnessed nor notarized.
So, unless anye here has an objection, I'm releasing you back into their temporary joint custody.
This cas is dismissed.
Well, that was the opposite of getting emancipated.
You know, thiss your fault.
My fault? Yeah, if you hadn't jped up, if you just let me signhe thing.
Do you reallywant to go there? Because if you had if you just let me just used a condom thing.
that had been in your wallet for two years, then That's not the point, that's not the poi.
The point is that, um, we need to figure out what it is we're gonna do.
Like the living situation, for example.
Okay, look, it took me two months to convince the guys to get a new Ikea futon; I think a 15-year old robablgonna take little more arm-twisting.
Almost 16.
You're unbelievable.
Ah, excuse us.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, which one of us has beening to help Lux from the beginning? Yeah, you have been so helpful! Like that time you denied we slept togetr.
That was so awesome.
Whoa! You're pretty indignant for someone a kid out there.
Why would I? You wouldn't even admit thathe existed.
My God, Cate.
What did you want me to do, propose, marry you? Because the last time I saw you, you didn't exactly want a kid either! Yes, I did not want a lot of things when I was 16.
Okay? I didn't want to take calculus, I didn't want to wear a retainer, and I did not want to have a thing for some-some meathead quarterback that Me, meathead quarterback? Because the back of my mom's minivan, I always thought th was some kind of fluke.
Yes, it was a uke.
I was just, um, a sucker, you know, for wood paneling and multiple cup hders.
Yeah? Well, then why are you so upset Because this is what you do.
Well, then why u upset me.
so upset God, it was high school! Get over it! I am, and I'm still in it.
He let you dn.
Like you've never let anyone down before? I mean, did you ever even consir keeping me? No.
Seriousl I'm going back to fosterare.
You can't be parents.
You both need parents.
Wait, Lux, wait Lux! No, just let me go, okay? You did it once, ithouldn't be that hard to do it again.
What aree gonna do? Okay.
You mean, bes keep stalking her caseworker to get a phone number? I don't know.
But you got to stop blaming yourself, you know.
It was pretty much a joint effort.
I told her that I never even thought about keeping her.
God, I should've lied.
Well, you know, ther was other stuff.
It wasn't just that.
It could've be all of the fighting and the blaming and finding out her mother got deflowered in the back of a Caravan.
Wait, deflowered? Wait a minute.
Your first time was after the winter formal? It, uh, it was technically during.
'Cause if I remember correctly, your date got medevacked away pretty quickly.
Well, yeah, stomach pumping's a big turnoff, so Well Yeah.
Sookay.
How did we end up in the back of my mom's minivan? You lured me in.
With Zima.
And the Spin Doctors.
See, I thought it was my mad skills and my rocking tape deck.
Oh, yourkills.
Really? Didn't evemake it through " Two Princes.
" Touch¨¦.
Hey, listen, Cate.
I'm sorry.
Oh, come on, it's fine.
That song, it's, like, five minutesong.
So No, no.
Not for that.
I mean, I should be.
But, um back then Back then, I was in over my head.
And I was afraid that I was gonna mess up my life.
We can't all bl and as talented and as beautiful as you are.
You knowsome of us peak ihigh school.
She has your eyes.
Lux.
I always really liked your eyes.
My shoes! I want to take my shoes off! But just be careful.
My dress is really expensive.
Yeah, where's the zipper? From the back.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Tell me this didn't happen.
Oh, it happened.
Twice.
Wait.
You're on the pill, right? Really? Yeah.
Okay, well, whatever did happen, it was it was a fluke.
Just like the minivan.
Yeah, yeah, exactly like the minivan.
What is the big deal? You got a boyfriend? No, I don't got a boyfriend.
I had a fianc¨¦e.
Well, I have a girlfriend.
At least I did.
She won't return my calls, so We're kind of in the same boat.
Yeah, our boats could not be any farther apart, okay? Ryan and I? We broke up.
We broke up.
We are not together.
I'm not a cheater.
I am not you.
This? This never happened! You're not really a morning person, are you? Cate? Oh, my God.
You're here.
What are you doing here? Don't you people learn? Have you been out here all night? I'm, I'm waiting for Baze to wake up.
Guess I should've waited until after the hearing to tell my foster mom to suck it.
Is it really that bad? Worse.
But, uh, hey, you know, thanks for coming to the hearing.
That was nice till it all went horrifically wrong.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through any of this.
It's not your fault.
Yeah, it is.
Look, I know that I should have been there for you.
I mean, now I know that nobody else was.
No, Cate.
You don't realize.
You were there.
On the radio.
When everything else in my life kept changing, I could I could cot on you.
Every day.
You know, people are just They're so scared to just tell the truth.
Instead, it's like, "Don't worry, it'll all work out.
" "You'll have a family someday.
" But you? You just put it all out there.
You say the truth.
All right, so can I do that? I mean, can I tell you the truth without you getting mad or doing the whole, you know, snarky, sarcastic thing that runs in our family? Okay.
Don't worry.
It's going to work out.
You are going to have a family someday.
You don't know that.
Yeah, I do.
Wow.
You look overdressed.
All right.
Okay.
So, you're right.
I am a mess.
Look, I don't know what I need.
I don't know if it's you know, professional help or or horse tranquilizer.
Maybe it's a frontal lobotomy.
Cate No, Ryan.
Ryan, please, I just Okay, look.
I don't want to push people away anymore.
I don't want to sabotage and screw this up.
I just want to act like an adult.
Somebody that is actually worthy of you.
And Lux.
I'm going to do it, Ryan.
I'm going to take care of her.
And I'm really hoping that you are going to help me.
What exactly are you proposing? ANNOUNCER : And now, live from beautiful downtown Portland, your hosts Marry me.
You guys! You're on! Hi.
Good morning, Portland.
How are we doing? Um, it is, uh, 6:00 a.
m.
on Thursday morning.
I'm Cate Cassidy here with my illustrious cohost Ryan Thomas.
Thanks, Juno.
Who'd better never call me that again.
Oh, my bad, Jamie Lynn.
I bet you think you're pretty funny, don't you? Yes.
Yeah, well, FYI, you're not.
Cate.
Yes.
You know, this is this is it.
This This is home.
Yeah.
Surprise! I mean, there's just no way we can forget your birthday, so Come on.
It's just No one's ever really remembered.
Happy birthday, Lux.
I'm sorry.
Cate wanted me to invite some of your friends, but I don't know who they are yet, so I had to invite my own; I hope that's not too lame.
It's amazing.
Thank you.
Cake.
Hey.
Hi! Hey! Hi.
Hi.
Hey.
All right.
Um, everyone, this is This is Ryan, my fianc¨¦.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Oh, and congratulations.
That's so cool.
You guys are getting married.
Wow, you guys are getting married? That's that's cool.
Congratulations.
Hey.
You got to make a wish.
Come on! We got some stuff we got to do here.
Ah.
Here you go.
Check it out.
It's Christian the Lion.
Get 'em all.
Get 'em all.
You got to get that last one, or it won't come true.
I think it already has.
It's cate and ryan on k-1000 moring madness It is 6:23, and if you are just waking up.
screw you Ryan and I, we have been up since 5:00.
Yeah, and as usual, arguing since 6:00.
If you're just tuning in to Morning Madness, Cate and I are in the middle of a rousing game of "Sex, Marry, Kill.
" I just did the Jessicas- sex Biel, marry Alba, and definitely kill Simpson.
Oh, um, you forgot Jessica Rabbit and Baby Jessica.
See, now, Cate is telling me that sh-she doesn't want to play because doesn't believe in marriage.
Screw marriage.
I like the sex and kill part better.
Wow.
Somewhere in Portland, Cate's boyfriend just breathed a huge sigh of relief.
There is no boyfriend.
We-- we're just hanging out.
God.
What happened? Nothing.
What'd he do to freak you out this time, huh? Did he give you a compliment? Did he want to meet the parents? What, what happened? Oh, he called me Oh, God, "The one.
" Oh, my God.
Okay, well, I hope you gave it to this guy.
I mean, I hope you did something crazy or even slightly violent like, like hurl a remote at his forehead.
I'm never telling you anything.
Good.
Ever Great.
again.
I love that.
Look, Cate, all right, it's called talk radio, okay? You get paid to spill your guts Stuey! Cate, I'm just, uh He did it again.
Your son seriously puts the "ew" in Stuey.
I swear to God, Lux, the state's not paying me enough to deal with this.
And you would think with your last name actually being Foster, you'd be somewhat equipped to be a foster parent.
Don't worry, in two days, you won't have to be.
And what's that supposed to mean? It means I'm turning 16.
I'm getting emancipated, and I'm getting the hell out of here.
Well, don't make promises you can't keep.
Oh Trace, you got to do this now? Oh, I can't go running in just one shoe.
Help me look for it.
Aah, I worked till 4:00.
No, working is teaching Western Civ to hormonal teenagers.
You drunk dialed me from your job.
Well, that's a perk of the career path, baby.
I don't think that opening up a bar and living above it was what your dad had in mind when he gave you the building.
Well, my dad said to do what I love, and I love to drink for free.
But you sleep until noon every day, you play video games.
Don't you ever want to grow up? I will.
After noon.
Uh-oh.
Hey, give me that.
Look what I found.
Good morning.
And we have got Linda on the line.
Hi, Linda, you there? Yeah, I'm calling 'cause I agree with Ryan.
I really want to meet someone and settle down and have a mlion babies.
It jt ses impossible.
Yeah, well, yoknow what's impossible is having a million babies.
Hey, Cate, you ever, uh, you ever wonder why you're 32 years old and don't have a maternal bone in your body? I mean, where's the biological clock? Where is that desire to make more than ramen noodles and dry toast? I learned it really early on, the only person you can depend on in this world is yourself.
I mean, if you expect anything else, you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Okay, well, on that uplifting note, that's our show for today, people.
I'm Ryan Thomas, alongside my clinically insane but moderately loveable cohost Cate Cassidy.
Clinically insane? Moderately lovable, okay.
Why is it on every single talk show across America, the guy is always the calm and stable voice of reason and the woman is the, you know, bitter, unlucky in love, crazy sidekick? You know, it's- it's kind of who you are.
Plus you threw a remote my head last night.
No, "threw" is very strong.
I tossed it.
It was more like a hurl.
You know, I thought you were going to catch it.
I didn't think you were going to throw it.
Could you be any louder? Seriously.
Calorie counting's not quiet.
Thank you very much.
So, um, uh I'll text you.
Ooh.
Okay.
Yeah, there was a bachelorette party last night, and Jamie was supposed to be working.
Instead he ends up with the maid of honor.
What's up with the beer guy? He's, like, three hours early.
Jamie, what am I paying you for? This place is trashed.
So was I.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, uh, uh, I need to get a signature from someone.
Okay.
Probably not you.
You know what? We have all the Thin Mints we need, but thank you.
Is that the Bud guy? It's a Girl Scout.
Samoas-- give me two boxes.
Get Trefoils.
Love those.
Actually, I'm I'm looking for Nathaniel "Ba-zile.
" "Baze-zile.
" Yeah, that's me.
No, wait.
You're Nathaniel Bazile? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
You live in a bar.
No, I live above a bar.
What can I, um? You want to take my cookie order or what? No.
I I'm not a Girl Scout.
I'm kind of comprised of half your gene pool.
Huh? I'm your daughter.
That's Wait, you're my what? Your daughter.
Dude, it is not a Girl Scout.
It's a girl.
Okay, one more time for the cheap seats.
You and someone had a kid.
You gave up that kid.
I am that kid.
And now I'm applying for emancipation.
Okay, from, from the people who adopted you? From foster care.
Dude, keep up.
Okay, so I was putting together the paperwork for my hearing, and it turns out that no one ever signed a permanent release of rights.
Here.
And my caseworker was going to take forever to get it signed, so when I saw your name and address on the top of the file, I just kind of Okay, basically, until you sign that piece of paper, you're still legally my dad.
Hey! Oh, Nate, oh, my God, I got to pee so badly.
Also, uh, we're having dinner at my parents' tonight.
It's potluck, so we need to figure out what to bring.
Mommy? Okay, okay, you got to get out of here.
We'll talk about this later.
Let go of ! Listen, Nate, Baze, whatever you go by-- I don't want to be here as much as you don't want to have me here, but my emancipation hearing is the day after tomorrow.
If I don't get these signatures, both signatures, then I'm going to have to spend another two years being bounced around crappy foster care.
With Scope-drinking moms, and creepy dads who try to hit on me, which, to be blunt, blows.
So if you could just sign this.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Oh, here.
And rifle through the memory banks of teenage girls you impregnated.
That'd be great.
Okay.
Great.
Um, hey, Cate Cassidy, that's your mom.
Cate with a "C, " okay? Are you good? Are we good? Are you cool? Wait, Cate Cassidy? That's my mom? Yes.
What, f r-from high school? Yes.
Who's Cate Cassidy? Cate Cassidy-- the one on the radio from K-100? Class of '94 Cate Cassidy? Yeah.
Cate Cassidy was pregnant in high school? Yes.
Wait, your names are Nate and Cate? Yeah.
Cate Cassidy never would have slept with you.
She was number one in the class.
She had a perfect 4.
0.
You seem to know a lot about this girl.
She despised you.
You're gross.
She hated you.
Did you roofie her? No, I didn't roofie her.
Wh-Wh-Who roofies people? She wasn't even your type.
If she was anyone's type Aw, who, Math? Was she your type? Because you were 300 pounds in high school.
Your type was anyone who you didn't accidentally eat for lunch.
Who is Cate Cassidy? Hahey.
Why are you hiding a teenager behind your back? Um You are not giving your yearbook to Goodwill.
I'm thinking my clothes are multiplying at night, but I think I've got everything now.
I-I got a good one here.
"Sex, Marry, Kill, " circa 1993.
Okay.
Mr.
Naracci from Sex Ed Okay.
The president of the chess club or this guy here that you have completely defaced.
This Nathaniel Oh, Ryan, no.
Ryan, seriously.
Give it to me! Goodwill does not want your yearbook.
I know you're trying to block me, but I Thank you.
Okay, go.
Oh, my God, is that a bowl cut? It's not a bowl cut.
It's a bowl cut.
No, it isn't.
I asked for Mary Stuart Masterson.
The woman just heard Dorothy Hamill.
Sure.
It's a bowl cut.
It's not a bowl cut.
Oh, this.
Cate All right, Ryan, what are you doing? Come on, seriously, what are you doing? Will you marry me? Ryan! Ow! What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?! You don't do that.
You don't just sneak up on somebody and propose to them while they're holding a ski.
Oh, yeah, well, you know, I tried to do it last night, remember? The one? Candlelight dinner? A gigantic remote hurtling towards my forehead.
This is going well.
Tracey, this is Lux.
Lux, right.
Gee, I knew that.
I'm sorry.
Like a Band-Aid, just rip it off.
Go.
Okay, it was high school.
It was 15 years ago.
It was a one-night thing.
And I didn't even know she had the kid.
And I always assumed that this girl Cate-- you know, like, took care of it.
"Took care of it"? That's an ugly choice of words.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
This is your? Yeah.
My daughter.
Look, you two are clearly having a moment, and if you could just give me Cate's number, and, uh, then I will, uh, get out of your obviously thinning hair.
Please? Whoa.
My hair's not my hair's not thinning, is it? Just a little.
No.
Nate, focus! What? What? Tracey, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call Cate out of the blue and say I'm with the daughter that I never knew she had? Sure.
It's an idea.
Yeah.
We've been together for two years! We haven't even lived together yet.
You don't really know me.
Oh, yeah.
I don't floss.
And I wear these these, like, little footy pajamas and a mouth guard at night when you're not around.
Did you know that? Actually, you know what? I do know that, Cate.
You know, I-I know you hate toes.
You hate toes! You do.
The word "moist.
" Buying ingredients.
And that you never get your hopes up so that you never get disappointed.
And I get it.
And I love you.
I love how you hum when you chew.
I love that you think it's weird that Kansas and Colorado touch.
I-I love that you're the only adult I know that still eats Cookie Crisps for breakfast.
The only thing I don't know is what happened to you to make you this screwed up! And this is not the speech I had prepared.
Wow, that was the sweetest thing that anybody has ever yelled at me before.
All right, go ahead, do it, you can propose.
Forget it.
Oh, Ryan! Ryan, but you said you wanted to propose.
I'm not doing it.
I already did.
No! But I think you should try it again.
No, it's done.
That's it.
I'm not doing it again.
Cate! Please just try it once.
Please? All right.
I'm ready.
One last time.
Cate? Yes? Will you marry me? Yes, I will.
Just give me the finger.
: Okay.
Mm.
ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi.
It's Cate.
Leave me a message.
Hi, Cate.
Um, it's, uh, it's Nate Bazile from Westmonte, and I need you to call me back when you can Hello? Uh, hi.
Cate? Cate it's Nate Bazile, and, um we kind of, uh, did it that time, and I need t Hello? Hello? Hey, she hung up.
Who was that? It was a wrong number.
She's obviously not gonna call you back.
So y-you're just gonna give up? No, I'm not giving up, I'm just, you know, I'm chilling out.
I think better that way.
Tell that to your fas t-diminishing brain cells.
What are you I'm just chillin' out.
I think better that way.
Yeah, I know.
If you want to chill, you do what normal teenagers do, okay? You text your friends, you post inappropriate pictures of yourself on MySpace, go watch YouTube.
I don't want to watch YouTube.
I hate YouTube.
See, this is exactly why I want to get emancipated.
That way, I'll never have to rely on incompetent grownups for anything ever again.
But have you seen the one with that lion? Christian? It makes me cry every time.
BAZE: Ugh! Dude! Man up.
You got to stop with this lion.
Two Australians purchased a lion cub from Harrod's Department Store.
They raised the cub like a puppy, and eventually it got so big, they set it free in Africa.
They came back a year later, and it recognized them.
Dude, what is wrong with you? How did he recognize them after all that time? That's ridiculous.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's watch "Dramatic Look" again.
With the gopher? Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's a hamster.
"Panda Sneeze.
" Have you seen that one? So good.
I thought you hated YouTube.
Maybe "hate" was a little strong.
What? Do you think we look alike? I mean, I see a resemblance in the eyes, the nose.
Mm? No? Mm-mm.
No? Me, neither.
If these Australians can find their lion, we can find our Cate.
Okay, it's, uh, high school nicknames, people.
Hosette.
Oh, right, right.
Cosette, yeah.
Sorry about that.
Uh, thanks for calling in, and try and stay out of those janitor's classes, will you? Uh, we have got Lux on the line.
Uh, Lux, areou there? What was your high school nickname? Lux? Hello.
You there? Cate? Cate? Wow, all right.
So you've gone through some some changes.
Uh, it's Baze, from high school.
I actuallyeally need to talk to you right now.
High school?! Wait a minute! You went to high school with Cate? Okay, maybe he can shed some light on your teen years.
No, Ryan, there will be no shedding of light.
Oh, there's gonna be plenty of shedding of light.
Wait-wait, so, Baze, Baze, Baze, when, uh, when's the last time you saw her-- smoking cloves behind the Dumpster? Was she campaigning against the patriarchy that is senior prom? What? Ryan! Let's not talk about high school, okay? Everybody knows that I hated high school What are you talking about? Who hates high school, Cate? What'd you have, like, a pizza face or something? No! Like, an unrequited love affair with a driver's ed teacher? Brian, will you Brian, stop! Or were you one of those girls that got knocked up on prom night? D Did you get knocked up on prom night? more like we are Oh, Baze Okay, Cate, I really need to talk to you outside in the parking lot.
What?! What is the matter with you? Okay, calm down.
Calm down? Is that how you get someone to calm down-- by calling them and humiliating them in public? I called you last night; you hung up on me.
Oh, my God, you haven't changed a bit.
Except your hairline.
Why does everybody keep talking about my hair? What? What is so important that you couldn't wait until after I was off the air? Kate, meet Lux our daughter.
Hi.
can't believe you here How did you find me? I mean, I'm so glad that you did, I just the last time I saw you, you were just so tiny, and now n-now you're so big, I no, I mean You're not big big.
You're proportional big.
Are you okay? Are you good? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
You know, uh, proportional.
And you have blonde hair.
She has something for you to sign.
What? Oh.
Uh, yeah.
I-I I need signature I can't get emancipated without this.
I'm sorry, what? Emancipated from what? Your parents? From the foster care syste m- she's never been adopted.
It's a long and pretty boring story, so if you'll just, uh, sign right there.
Okay.
Thanks.
Thank you.
That's it? Do you, um do you need anything? No, that should pretty much do it.
I just got to get this to Social Services.
I can take you.
Don't you have a radio show you got to finish? Yeah, I do.
But, oh, um, Ryan's in there, so I can take you if I can do that.
Well, I can, too, if Well, if you're sure you can? I can.
All right, then.
You wouldn't mind.
No, no, of course not, you know? I've got stuff I got to do.
Okay.
Well thanks.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Hey, we never got around to watching "Panda Sneeze," so you know where I live if you want to stop by anytime.
: Okay.
Bye.
A-Are you sure you're not gonna get in trouble for leaving the show? No, it's fine.
It's actually perfect.
Yeah, it's gonna make it a lot harder for Ryan to ask for the ring back this way, so Wait, Ryan? That's who you're dating? You guys are getting married? I-I love you guys! Red light.
Red light! So, um you listen to the show? Yeah.
Yeah.
Every morning.
Well, except for when I lived in Salem-- I didn't get the station.
It's literally the reason I asked for a new placement- well, that and my foster parents were, like, dealing drugs.
Prescription.
I'm sorry, I'm just still a little bit confused.
The social worker said that she was gonna have no problem placing you, that there were these waiting lists.
Well, I I don't know if you knew this, but I was born with this heart thing.
A hole.
I had to have a bunch of surgeries.
A baby on the operating table isn't exactly a selling point to prospective parents.
I was fine, but after everything, I was almost three, and most people, they want a baby.
I mean, not everyone, obviously.
No, obviously.
Look, I just want to be clear.
I just want to be clear.
It wasn't that, it wasn't that I didn't want a baby.
It's just that, I was your age.
You know, I should really get this to my caseworker before school.
But wouldn't you rather hold out and wait to see if somebody's gonna adopt you, if there was a chance of that? No one's gonna take me unless I have a government check attached.
No one wanted three-year-olds.
How many people do you think want teenagers? No, you're right, I probably don't know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
It's it's just that at 15, I thought I knew everything, also.
Almost 16.
There's probably a lot of things that you haven't considered, like do you know where you're gonna go to school or even live? Have-- I mean, how are you gonna make any money? No offense, but I haven't had a mom in 15 years.
I don't need one now.
MAN : Welcome to the K-100 Singles Booze Cruise.
With your hosts Cate Cassidy and Ryan Thomas from Morning Madness.
Sorry I'm late.
Hey, where you been? Um, I had to get Dramamine.
I hate boats.
No, I-I mean all day.
Have you been getting my messages? Uh, oh, yeah, I did, I did.
I was just avoiding you.
Okay.
Uh, excuse us, please.
Hmm, what are you doing? We need to talk.
Hey, let's not talk.
Let's just not do that.
Let's just banter for a little while.
What do you think? Cate, come on.
Hey, how are you? Please, I know, I should've mentioned the whole "pregnant class president" chapter of my life before the "not flossing" part, but, you know.
It's like I said, there's a lot about me you don't know.
In the past 36 hours, Mm-hmm.
you have violently attacked me with the remote, okay, you have mocked my marriage proposal, and then you had a kid that you never even mentioned just turn up out of nowhere.
If this makes you, you know, not want to marry me, that's okay.
I didn't say I didn't want to marry you, okay? I just want you to be honest with me.
I mean, is that too much to ask? You want me to be honest? This is who I am.
This is it.
I mean, you can ask anybody in that line, and they can tell you that I am your bitter unluck y-in-love sidekick that, you know, got knocked up at 16.
I don't trust people.
I don't want to commit.
This is why I didn't want you to give this to me in the first place.
Here.
Right.
Because this is what you do.
You push people away.
Me, your daughter.
You know, if you want to end this, Cate, that is your choice, okay? If you would rather yell at some guy from high school for being unaccountable, then look yourself in the mirror.
I can't fix it with her! I can't make it right.
She walked away from me.
I don't know what you want me to do.
I don't know, Cate.
I don't know.
But you probably should've done a little more than whatever it is you just did.
I see you turn 16 tomorrow.
Yes, and I'll be old enough to get emancipated, I can get my GED, get a job.
And is this your caseworker here? I am, Your Honor.
I've only been with Lux a few months.
She tends to change hands often.
What are you doing here? Well, I see that- seven different foster homes.
Well, that' s-that's not really my fault.
And whose is it? Surely you're not saying it's the seven different families who tried to take you in.
No.
I mean, I wanted a good home.
The state of Oregon just hasn't provided me with one.
So you have no permanent place of residence as of today? Well, as soon as my petition is granted, there's a studio not far from my school.
You're going to afford an apartment? what income? I have $3,000 in the bank.
Well, who's going to cosign your rental agreement? The whole point of getting emancipated is that I won't need it cosigned.
No landlord is going to rent to a minor I'll cosign, Your Honor.
I can do it.
Ah, come on.
You gave her a ride, let me sign the thing.
JUDGE: I'm sorry, who are you people? Uh, they're, um my birth parents.
Yeah, Lux and I, we go way back, Your Honor.
To when, yesterday? Hey, we bonded.
Oh.
Let me see that file, please.
Over what? Hmm? A panda sneezing? You want to bond, try being attached by an umbilical cord.
You know, like she remembers any of that.
Uh, no, 'cause if she did, she'd remember what a jerk you were.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Forgive me that I had some dreams and some goals that I wanted to accomplish.
What goals? To, what, own a loser bar with some stupid name? Did you Google me? Sir.
You own your own business, is that correct? Yes, Your Honor.
And you're a radio talk jockey? No criminal record, each in possession of a working vehicle.
I'm sorry, wh-what is going on? Okay.
I'm going to be very straight with you.
I am not granting you emancipation.
You have no income.
You have no permanent residence.
You filed a fee waiver in order to cover your court costs.
Now, Catherine Cassidy and Nathaniel Bazile are still legally your parents.
Uh, actually they're not.
I-I had that paper signed.
Those signatures were neither witnessed nor notarized.
So, unless anye here has an objection, I'm releasing you back into their temporary joint custody.
This cas is dismissed.
Well, that was the opposite of getting emancipated.
You know, thiss your fault.
My fault? Yeah, if you hadn't jped up, if you just let me signhe thing.
Do you reallywant to go there? Because if you had if you just let me just used a condom thing.
that had been in your wallet for two years, then That's not the point, that's not the poi.
The point is that, um, we need to figure out what it is we're gonna do.
Like the living situation, for example.
Okay, look, it took me two months to convince the guys to get a new Ikea futon; I think a 15-year old robablgonna take little more arm-twisting.
Almost 16.
You're unbelievable.
Ah, excuse us.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, which one of us has beening to help Lux from the beginning? Yeah, you have been so helpful! Like that time you denied we slept togetr.
That was so awesome.
Whoa! You're pretty indignant for someone a kid out there.
Why would I? You wouldn't even admit thathe existed.
My God, Cate.
What did you want me to do, propose, marry you? Because the last time I saw you, you didn't exactly want a kid either! Yes, I did not want a lot of things when I was 16.
Okay? I didn't want to take calculus, I didn't want to wear a retainer, and I did not want to have a thing for some-some meathead quarterback that Me, meathead quarterback? Because the back of my mom's minivan, I always thought th was some kind of fluke.
Yes, it was a uke.
I was just, um, a sucker, you know, for wood paneling and multiple cup hders.
Yeah? Well, then why are you so upset Because this is what you do.
Well, then why u upset me.
so upset God, it was high school! Get over it! I am, and I'm still in it.
He let you dn.
Like you've never let anyone down before? I mean, did you ever even consir keeping me? No.
Seriousl I'm going back to fosterare.
You can't be parents.
You both need parents.
Wait, Lux, wait Lux! No, just let me go, okay? You did it once, ithouldn't be that hard to do it again.
What aree gonna do? Okay.
You mean, bes keep stalking her caseworker to get a phone number? I don't know.
But you got to stop blaming yourself, you know.
It was pretty much a joint effort.
I told her that I never even thought about keeping her.
God, I should've lied.
Well, you know, ther was other stuff.
It wasn't just that.
It could've be all of the fighting and the blaming and finding out her mother got deflowered in the back of a Caravan.
Wait, deflowered? Wait a minute.
Your first time was after the winter formal? It, uh, it was technically during.
'Cause if I remember correctly, your date got medevacked away pretty quickly.
Well, yeah, stomach pumping's a big turnoff, so Well Yeah.
Sookay.
How did we end up in the back of my mom's minivan? You lured me in.
With Zima.
And the Spin Doctors.
See, I thought it was my mad skills and my rocking tape deck.
Oh, yourkills.
Really? Didn't evemake it through " Two Princes.
" Touch¨¦.
Hey, listen, Cate.
I'm sorry.
Oh, come on, it's fine.
That song, it's, like, five minutesong.
So No, no.
Not for that.
I mean, I should be.
But, um back then Back then, I was in over my head.
And I was afraid that I was gonna mess up my life.
We can't all bl and as talented and as beautiful as you are.
You knowsome of us peak ihigh school.
She has your eyes.
Lux.
I always really liked your eyes.
My shoes! I want to take my shoes off! But just be careful.
My dress is really expensive.
Yeah, where's the zipper? From the back.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Tell me this didn't happen.
Oh, it happened.
Twice.
Wait.
You're on the pill, right? Really? Yeah.
Okay, well, whatever did happen, it was it was a fluke.
Just like the minivan.
Yeah, yeah, exactly like the minivan.
What is the big deal? You got a boyfriend? No, I don't got a boyfriend.
I had a fianc¨¦e.
Well, I have a girlfriend.
At least I did.
She won't return my calls, so We're kind of in the same boat.
Yeah, our boats could not be any farther apart, okay? Ryan and I? We broke up.
We broke up.
We are not together.
I'm not a cheater.
I am not you.
This? This never happened! You're not really a morning person, are you? Cate? Oh, my God.
You're here.
What are you doing here? Don't you people learn? Have you been out here all night? I'm, I'm waiting for Baze to wake up.
Guess I should've waited until after the hearing to tell my foster mom to suck it.
Is it really that bad? Worse.
But, uh, hey, you know, thanks for coming to the hearing.
That was nice till it all went horrifically wrong.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through any of this.
It's not your fault.
Yeah, it is.
Look, I know that I should have been there for you.
I mean, now I know that nobody else was.
No, Cate.
You don't realize.
You were there.
On the radio.
When everything else in my life kept changing, I could I could cot on you.
Every day.
You know, people are just They're so scared to just tell the truth.
Instead, it's like, "Don't worry, it'll all work out.
" "You'll have a family someday.
" But you? You just put it all out there.
You say the truth.
All right, so can I do that? I mean, can I tell you the truth without you getting mad or doing the whole, you know, snarky, sarcastic thing that runs in our family? Okay.
Don't worry.
It's going to work out.
You are going to have a family someday.
You don't know that.
Yeah, I do.
Wow.
You look overdressed.
All right.
Okay.
So, you're right.
I am a mess.
Look, I don't know what I need.
I don't know if it's you know, professional help or or horse tranquilizer.
Maybe it's a frontal lobotomy.
Cate No, Ryan.
Ryan, please, I just Okay, look.
I don't want to push people away anymore.
I don't want to sabotage and screw this up.
I just want to act like an adult.
Somebody that is actually worthy of you.
And Lux.
I'm going to do it, Ryan.
I'm going to take care of her.
And I'm really hoping that you are going to help me.
What exactly are you proposing? ANNOUNCER : And now, live from beautiful downtown Portland, your hosts Marry me.
You guys! You're on! Hi.
Good morning, Portland.
How are we doing? Um, it is, uh, 6:00 a.
m.
on Thursday morning.
I'm Cate Cassidy here with my illustrious cohost Ryan Thomas.
Thanks, Juno.
Who'd better never call me that again.
Oh, my bad, Jamie Lynn.
I bet you think you're pretty funny, don't you? Yes.
Yeah, well, FYI, you're not.
Cate.
Yes.
You know, this is this is it.
This This is home.
Yeah.
Surprise! I mean, there's just no way we can forget your birthday, so Come on.
It's just No one's ever really remembered.
Happy birthday, Lux.
I'm sorry.
Cate wanted me to invite some of your friends, but I don't know who they are yet, so I had to invite my own; I hope that's not too lame.
It's amazing.
Thank you.
Cake.
Hey.
Hi! Hey! Hi.
Hi.
Hey.
All right.
Um, everyone, this is This is Ryan, my fianc¨¦.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Oh, and congratulations.
That's so cool.
You guys are getting married.
Wow, you guys are getting married? That's that's cool.
Congratulations.
Hey.
You got to make a wish.
Come on! We got some stuff we got to do here.
Ah.
Here you go.
Check it out.
It's Christian the Lion.
Get 'em all.
Get 'em all.
You got to get that last one, or it won't come true.
I think it already has.