Li'l Quinquin (2014) s01e01 Episode Script
La bet'humaine
Hey Quinquin!
Don't you go spilling it now!
I ain't gonna spill it!
Fuck!
You're such a pain, ma!
Li'l Quinquin?
Li'l Quinquin?
I knew you'd be here.
Your ma's gonna give you hell.
Your sister's gonna be on TV?
She's rehearsing.
She might not get chosen.
Look!
In my outside pocket
firecrackers
I bought the whole brick
Cool, huh?
Wait, I'll show you something.
Come on.
You ain't scared of him?
Want it up your butt?
Stop it, Li'l Quinquin.
OK, calm down.
Let's go.
Fly, mouse.
Hop on!
You on?
Yes.
Take that, sons of bitches!
The house blew up.
Goddamn ragheads!
Leave that.
Look, a chopper!
Holy shit!
Get on, quick!
You on?
Let's go!
Let's race it!
Hurry up! Quick!
Come on!
Faster!
I can't go any faster.
I'd like to see you try!
It's over there!
Come on!
We're almost there!
It's over there.
Holy shit, it's awesome!
Hey, the police!
Let's go round back.
We'll see better!
What did I tell you, Capt'n?
That animal
didn't get here by itself.
There's no access.
The only openings
are too small for it.
It's human blood
in the cow, Capt'n.
Say again?
Human blood in the animal?
It's human blood in the cow, Capt'n.
Are you positive?
What's going on here?
"The Human Beast"!
It's Zola, Capt'n.
We're not here to philosophize,
Carpentier.
Even so
It's incredible.
What's going on over there?
No use hiding, I see you.
Clear out of there!
Clear out!
County Sheriff. Clear out.
Get rid of those kids!
You fuckin' kidding me?
My clothes!
- Sorry, Capt'n.
- Well, yeah.
Watch it!
You better learn how to get down.
You were near the edge.
It was unreal!
How'd they get that cow in there?
Maybe the cow was out partying
and drank too much.
How'd it fly? Maybe it has wings?
You're a damn fool, Carpentier!
Get me an autopsy on that cow.
Then we'll go see the farmer.
What are those kids doing,
Carpentier?
Dunno, Capt'n.
They've got no business there!
Raisin' hell, there!
Let's roll!
What the hell is this?
Fun's over the Traffic Code!
Keep right, I said!
I'll notify your parents!
The Traffic Code
for crying out loud!
What's the big idea?
Carpentier, can't you
slow down while I'm shouting?
Fuckin' kidding me?
That was low!
What the hell was that?
Why didn't you stop
so I could yell at those kids?
Stop, when I say stop.
Sorry, Capt'n.
Next time, watch it!
Well, nobody home.
I don't understand, Capt'n.
Legs sore?
Yep.
What the?
Are you insane?
What's going on there?
I wonder myself.
- Shoot like that often?
- Yes.
What's going on?
- Mr. Lebleu?
- Yes, that's me.
Hello, County Sheriff.
Captain Van der Weyden,
from Boulogne-sur-Mer. Rogier.
Rudy Carpentier.
We found one of your animals.
A kid must've opened the gate.
I doubt it. It was dead.
- Dead?
- In a bunker.
So it wasn't just the gate.
We need you to identify it.
Not like it's a person.
We have to be sure
it's one of yours.
Alright?
Let's roll, Carpentier.
Goodbye, Mr. Lebleu!
That was so cool!
Last stop, everybody off!
My love.
My love.
Shit, what is it this time?
Haul ass and pick it up!
First day of vacation
and nothing's changed.
Look at it.
The handle bars
are all messed up!
Shit!
Right, girl?
You just getting home now?
Lay off me, ma!
I always get yelled at here.
Vacation ain't just
for sitting around!
What else is it for?
Come
Give it.
Give it here.
Fuck.
Give it!
What the hell's going on!
You bust everyone's chops!
Get over here!
Now, I said!
Get over here!
Get over here!
Goddamn kids today!
Whatcha doing with those bikes?
Huh, kid?
Go ahead and laugh in my face.
It's dangerous,
weaving all over the road.
Come here, County Sheriff.
What's the Traffic Code?
Don't you know?
Whatcha learn in school?
You live around here?
Well that's nice,
you live in the country.
I would've loved to live
in the country as a kid.
Don't cry!
The Sheriff"s Department
is here to serve and protect
We're not don't cry.
We're here to um
to protect people
And stay safe yourself.
Stay off the street.
Don't cry, it's OK.
There are rules.
It was my dream,
living in the country.
The animals and all that.
I would've liked that, too.
We're watching you. Be careful.
Ready, Carpentier?
What'd those assholes want?
I dunno, some bullshit.
Was it bullshit,
or did you screw up?
- I didn't screw up!
- Come on.
Always making trouble!
Come inside.
Let's go!
Keep going!
Quinquin, stand at the gate.
Eve!
Let's go! Keep moving!
Shame on you, Quinquin.
Do you realize?
A firecracker in the house.
Go help pappy and nanny
set the table,
because I think
it's gonna be a mess.
Throw the glass!
Look at pappy go!
Sounds like the fireworks
we heard earlier.
What did we hear?
And you laugh?
I can see it's summer vacation.
Pappy, what'd you do?
What's going on in here? Quinquin!
Impossible, a kid like that!
What was all that racket?
It's pappy and nanny, raising hell.
Doing what?
- They tease you?
- Nah!
Can I get some money
for fries, please?
What! Alright, in my jacket.
Give it.
Hey, stop that.
- You OK, Li'l Quinquin?
- Yeah.
Of course it is.
Look what time you're eating.
I'm hungry.
Did you see the time?
You are Li'l Quinquin, ain't you?
Well?
Good?
Great.
You sure are hungry.
See that?
Those tourists just whizz right by.
They could at least buy your fries.
Hey, Jordan!
Be careful!
Don't fight! Jordan!
Knock it off!
Kick his ass, Li'l Quinquin!
Knock it off!
Fuck you, Kevin!
It's over, stop!
You're too old for that!
Relax.
What about the bike?
- Keep it.
- Sure!
Real nice.
Shut your face!
You got your ass kicked!
You disgraced yourself!
We'll throw firecrackers at them!
Fuck, it burns!
What's wrong with your hand?
I burned myself
with the fucking firecracker.
He can't even throw.
Shut your face!
Stop laughing!
Captain?
Captain. Lieutenant.
Sorry, I was delayed
due to car trouble.
At 10:30, I got the cow.
At 11:30, I cut her open.
What else?
I opened the whole cow.
I removed the entrails,
the liver, and all that.
I found several fingers,
an index, a thumb
and a foot.
Holy shit.
Incredible.
An entire human body,
chopped into pieces
and stuffed in this cow's ass!
I can't say what time
because my wife called
So I can't say
OK, let's roll.
We're at the heart of evil,
Carpentier.
It's "The Human Beast," Capt'n.
I've never seen such an atrocity.
Me neither.
It's a female, age 45.
Caucasian. Headless.
- Headless?
- No head either!
No head.
The head's missing.
I'm just the veterinarian.
We'll call the lab.
You're free to go.
Carpentier, give Boulogne a call
The Crime Lab
Find me that head.
Alright, Capt'n.
Hello, Boulogne?
Lieutenant Carpentier, here.
Yes, we'll need a team.
Here
That's right, for a
A pick-up.
We've got one body, female.
Headless.
So I need the head basically.
So a team, on the double.
How long?
10 minutes, Capt'n.
Good, we'll wait.
OK, let's do it. See you then.
I need the head.
I need the head, Carpentier!
Mr. Lebleu in a State of Shock
Mrs. Lebleu's Head Located
Funeral This Morning
Lemme get a drag.
Right after I take one.
Here.
Thanks.
Give it here.
Wait, one more.
Let's go.
Dear friends
My friends
The Lebleu family
The Lebleu family
For her whole family,
which has brought us here today.
Hail Mary,
full of grace
The Lord with thee
Blessed art
thou inside all women
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for you sinners
and for our death.
Amen.
Quinquin.
Blessed are you,
God of all creation.
You who offers this wine,
fruit of the vine,
and work of human hands.
Blessed be God forever
Over here! Quinquin.
Get down
Let us pray
and for her husband.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, answer our prayers.
Sir?
Sorry, sir? That lady in the coffin,
did you put her back together?
You and your pals
are a bunch of little jerks.
You've got no business
in the cemetery.
You think that's funny?
Little jerks!
Scram, you've got no business here.
Goddamnit!
Little jerks! Clear out!
Stupid kids.
They're young.
It's normal to ask stupid questions.
But to be that stupid?
No, I've seen better.
Because, that
They're as stupid as it gets!
That said
I do wonder what they did
about the body.
I dunno
Maybe the murderer's one of them.
Whaddya think, Carpentier?
Maybe Capt'n, but
My condolences, Mr. Lebleu.
My condolences.
How awful! How awful!
Heart of evil, Father.
We're at the heart of evil.
That's for sure.
Yes it is.
It's inconceivable.
Children are our only hope.
Children!
Hope, my ass!
That little jerk's mocking me!
And the other kids, them too.
Let's roll, Carpentier.
What?
A cow carcass at Chicken Pass?
Let's roll, Carpentier!
County Sheriff!
Pull over, County Sheriff!
Don't you go spilling it now!
I ain't gonna spill it!
Fuck!
You're such a pain, ma!
Li'l Quinquin?
Li'l Quinquin?
I knew you'd be here.
Your ma's gonna give you hell.
Your sister's gonna be on TV?
She's rehearsing.
She might not get chosen.
Look!
In my outside pocket
firecrackers
I bought the whole brick
Cool, huh?
Wait, I'll show you something.
Come on.
You ain't scared of him?
Want it up your butt?
Stop it, Li'l Quinquin.
OK, calm down.
Let's go.
Fly, mouse.
Hop on!
You on?
Yes.
Take that, sons of bitches!
The house blew up.
Goddamn ragheads!
Leave that.
Look, a chopper!
Holy shit!
Get on, quick!
You on?
Let's go!
Let's race it!
Hurry up! Quick!
Come on!
Faster!
I can't go any faster.
I'd like to see you try!
It's over there!
Come on!
We're almost there!
It's over there.
Holy shit, it's awesome!
Hey, the police!
Let's go round back.
We'll see better!
What did I tell you, Capt'n?
That animal
didn't get here by itself.
There's no access.
The only openings
are too small for it.
It's human blood
in the cow, Capt'n.
Say again?
Human blood in the animal?
It's human blood in the cow, Capt'n.
Are you positive?
What's going on here?
"The Human Beast"!
It's Zola, Capt'n.
We're not here to philosophize,
Carpentier.
Even so
It's incredible.
What's going on over there?
No use hiding, I see you.
Clear out of there!
Clear out!
County Sheriff. Clear out.
Get rid of those kids!
You fuckin' kidding me?
My clothes!
- Sorry, Capt'n.
- Well, yeah.
Watch it!
You better learn how to get down.
You were near the edge.
It was unreal!
How'd they get that cow in there?
Maybe the cow was out partying
and drank too much.
How'd it fly? Maybe it has wings?
You're a damn fool, Carpentier!
Get me an autopsy on that cow.
Then we'll go see the farmer.
What are those kids doing,
Carpentier?
Dunno, Capt'n.
They've got no business there!
Raisin' hell, there!
Let's roll!
What the hell is this?
Fun's over the Traffic Code!
Keep right, I said!
I'll notify your parents!
The Traffic Code
for crying out loud!
What's the big idea?
Carpentier, can't you
slow down while I'm shouting?
Fuckin' kidding me?
That was low!
What the hell was that?
Why didn't you stop
so I could yell at those kids?
Stop, when I say stop.
Sorry, Capt'n.
Next time, watch it!
Well, nobody home.
I don't understand, Capt'n.
Legs sore?
Yep.
What the?
Are you insane?
What's going on there?
I wonder myself.
- Shoot like that often?
- Yes.
What's going on?
- Mr. Lebleu?
- Yes, that's me.
Hello, County Sheriff.
Captain Van der Weyden,
from Boulogne-sur-Mer. Rogier.
Rudy Carpentier.
We found one of your animals.
A kid must've opened the gate.
I doubt it. It was dead.
- Dead?
- In a bunker.
So it wasn't just the gate.
We need you to identify it.
Not like it's a person.
We have to be sure
it's one of yours.
Alright?
Let's roll, Carpentier.
Goodbye, Mr. Lebleu!
That was so cool!
Last stop, everybody off!
My love.
My love.
Shit, what is it this time?
Haul ass and pick it up!
First day of vacation
and nothing's changed.
Look at it.
The handle bars
are all messed up!
Shit!
Right, girl?
You just getting home now?
Lay off me, ma!
I always get yelled at here.
Vacation ain't just
for sitting around!
What else is it for?
Come
Give it.
Give it here.
Fuck.
Give it!
What the hell's going on!
You bust everyone's chops!
Get over here!
Now, I said!
Get over here!
Get over here!
Goddamn kids today!
Whatcha doing with those bikes?
Huh, kid?
Go ahead and laugh in my face.
It's dangerous,
weaving all over the road.
Come here, County Sheriff.
What's the Traffic Code?
Don't you know?
Whatcha learn in school?
You live around here?
Well that's nice,
you live in the country.
I would've loved to live
in the country as a kid.
Don't cry!
The Sheriff"s Department
is here to serve and protect
We're not don't cry.
We're here to um
to protect people
And stay safe yourself.
Stay off the street.
Don't cry, it's OK.
There are rules.
It was my dream,
living in the country.
The animals and all that.
I would've liked that, too.
We're watching you. Be careful.
Ready, Carpentier?
What'd those assholes want?
I dunno, some bullshit.
Was it bullshit,
or did you screw up?
- I didn't screw up!
- Come on.
Always making trouble!
Come inside.
Let's go!
Keep going!
Quinquin, stand at the gate.
Eve!
Let's go! Keep moving!
Shame on you, Quinquin.
Do you realize?
A firecracker in the house.
Go help pappy and nanny
set the table,
because I think
it's gonna be a mess.
Throw the glass!
Look at pappy go!
Sounds like the fireworks
we heard earlier.
What did we hear?
And you laugh?
I can see it's summer vacation.
Pappy, what'd you do?
What's going on in here? Quinquin!
Impossible, a kid like that!
What was all that racket?
It's pappy and nanny, raising hell.
Doing what?
- They tease you?
- Nah!
Can I get some money
for fries, please?
What! Alright, in my jacket.
Give it.
Hey, stop that.
- You OK, Li'l Quinquin?
- Yeah.
Of course it is.
Look what time you're eating.
I'm hungry.
Did you see the time?
You are Li'l Quinquin, ain't you?
Well?
Good?
Great.
You sure are hungry.
See that?
Those tourists just whizz right by.
They could at least buy your fries.
Hey, Jordan!
Be careful!
Don't fight! Jordan!
Knock it off!
Kick his ass, Li'l Quinquin!
Knock it off!
Fuck you, Kevin!
It's over, stop!
You're too old for that!
Relax.
What about the bike?
- Keep it.
- Sure!
Real nice.
Shut your face!
You got your ass kicked!
You disgraced yourself!
We'll throw firecrackers at them!
Fuck, it burns!
What's wrong with your hand?
I burned myself
with the fucking firecracker.
He can't even throw.
Shut your face!
Stop laughing!
Captain?
Captain. Lieutenant.
Sorry, I was delayed
due to car trouble.
At 10:30, I got the cow.
At 11:30, I cut her open.
What else?
I opened the whole cow.
I removed the entrails,
the liver, and all that.
I found several fingers,
an index, a thumb
and a foot.
Holy shit.
Incredible.
An entire human body,
chopped into pieces
and stuffed in this cow's ass!
I can't say what time
because my wife called
So I can't say
OK, let's roll.
We're at the heart of evil,
Carpentier.
It's "The Human Beast," Capt'n.
I've never seen such an atrocity.
Me neither.
It's a female, age 45.
Caucasian. Headless.
- Headless?
- No head either!
No head.
The head's missing.
I'm just the veterinarian.
We'll call the lab.
You're free to go.
Carpentier, give Boulogne a call
The Crime Lab
Find me that head.
Alright, Capt'n.
Hello, Boulogne?
Lieutenant Carpentier, here.
Yes, we'll need a team.
Here
That's right, for a
A pick-up.
We've got one body, female.
Headless.
So I need the head basically.
So a team, on the double.
How long?
10 minutes, Capt'n.
Good, we'll wait.
OK, let's do it. See you then.
I need the head.
I need the head, Carpentier!
Mr. Lebleu in a State of Shock
Mrs. Lebleu's Head Located
Funeral This Morning
Lemme get a drag.
Right after I take one.
Here.
Thanks.
Give it here.
Wait, one more.
Let's go.
Dear friends
My friends
The Lebleu family
The Lebleu family
For her whole family,
which has brought us here today.
Hail Mary,
full of grace
The Lord with thee
Blessed art
thou inside all women
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for you sinners
and for our death.
Amen.
Quinquin.
Blessed are you,
God of all creation.
You who offers this wine,
fruit of the vine,
and work of human hands.
Blessed be God forever
Over here! Quinquin.
Get down
Let us pray
and for her husband.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, answer our prayers.
Sir?
Sorry, sir? That lady in the coffin,
did you put her back together?
You and your pals
are a bunch of little jerks.
You've got no business
in the cemetery.
You think that's funny?
Little jerks!
Scram, you've got no business here.
Goddamnit!
Little jerks! Clear out!
Stupid kids.
They're young.
It's normal to ask stupid questions.
But to be that stupid?
No, I've seen better.
Because, that
They're as stupid as it gets!
That said
I do wonder what they did
about the body.
I dunno
Maybe the murderer's one of them.
Whaddya think, Carpentier?
Maybe Capt'n, but
My condolences, Mr. Lebleu.
My condolences.
How awful! How awful!
Heart of evil, Father.
We're at the heart of evil.
That's for sure.
Yes it is.
It's inconceivable.
Children are our only hope.
Children!
Hope, my ass!
That little jerk's mocking me!
And the other kids, them too.
Let's roll, Carpentier.
What?
A cow carcass at Chicken Pass?
Let's roll, Carpentier!
County Sheriff!
Pull over, County Sheriff!