LOL: Last One Laughing Germany (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

1
If you enjoy laughing, this is for you.
Because you're allowed to.
You are watching.
But our friends here can't.
They can't laugh for the next 6 hours.
The last one standing wins.
This is our arena.
We have everything we need.
A kitchen, a fridge, some nice seats,
soft and cozy for chilling.
And behind us,
there is a stage to perform on.
In there, our ten performers
are free to do whatever they want.
They just can't do one thing,
laugh or giggle.
Even smirking is dangerous.
Whoever can't hold back
will sadly have to leave.
Through this door.
This is my mission control.
Bully's surveillance central.
From here,
I can see and control everything,
intervene if necessary. Check it out.
With these, nothing escapes me.
Not even the smallest chuckle.
We have installed more than 40 cameras.
Cameras behind mirrors, behind windows,
in every corner, in the fridge.
There's one inside a camera.
We'll probably lose a few.
They know that,
so I'm really excited
to see what will happen.
So I'm ready. Let's get started.
Teddy is our brave first candidate.
Hello, my name is Teddy.
Do you want to know my hobbies?
My education?
Sometimes you laugh to be polite.
You just go
Even though it is not funny,
I got rid of that. That is gone.
He's entering the locker room.
He can leave all his props there.
But we also left some other props there,
so they can help themselves
to those if they like.
Six hours of sitting there
having no fun at all.
Hello. I'm Anke Engelke.
My laugh muscles surgically removed.
And
I should have had my breasts done, too.
-Hello.
-Hello?
Hello.
-Can I still laugh?
-I think we can laugh.
They're still allowed to laugh now.
-I'm a little scared of you.
-Of me? Why?
Because you're a talented bitch.
A talented little bitch
I was scared of Teddy.
I planned to avoid him.
-Do you know who's coming?
-No, I don't.
-Hi, Teddy and Anke.
-Hello.
I don't want to No, I do.
Aren't the three of us enough?
It's even two too many for my liking.
It'll be awful.
-Oh, no.
-He brought costumes.
-Mr. Kavanian.
-Geek.
Good evening.
Rick Kavanian.
I'll laugh after an hour and 46 minutes.
That's precision
at the microphone, friends.
My name is Carolin Kebekus.
I hope not to see certain faces.
No!
Torsten Sträter
is the opponent I fear most.
I said that Torsten Sträter
would be the end of me.
But I also said I'd be his.
I already started laughing
when you entered.
Let's kill him first.
Who is this? It's Wigald.
Wigald brought his ball pit.
I'm afraid of laughter.
Is there a medical term for that?
-Welcome.
-If you're here, I'm finished.
No, man, relax.
Laughophobia sounds sort of half-baked.
Good evening.
Good day. My name is Max Giermann.
I have the great honor
of taking part in LOL today.
Is this the right place?
Yes.
I'm praying Max Giermann
won't dress up as Kinski.
I will take a whip
and I'll smack you in the face with it.
Hello!
What's up?
Any questions?
-Are we still allowed to laugh?
-Yes.
I have no competitors
unless there are
only Kurt Krömer in the room.
I'm Barbara Schöneberger,
and I'm very excited.
She's starting.
She's already done.
Give her 30 seconds.
Just one room.
-Hello!
-Oh, no!
Oh, God. I'm so excited.
I am not the right person for this show.
Barbara laughs at everything.
She laughs while talking.
My first victim is Barbara.
What's up, what's down?
Mirco Nontschew is a bad guy.
I'm going home.
Let's all just go.
I have no filter, and I'm savage.
I'm going for it. I'm super motivated.
I'm so motivated. I'm so motivated.
I'm so motivated.
I'm actually very motivated.
It's getting a bit crazy.
It feels like Christmas.
I'm so excited.
When you're not allowed to laugh,
everything is funny.
This is a really great group.
Great.
I'm so scared!
Fantastic group, really.
I'm really impressed.
I think it's time. I'm going in.
Hello.
Bully!
Welcome to the top tier.
You know why you're here.
For six hours, you'll have to try
to make the others laugh
while keeping a straight face.
Define "straight face."
-Yes, please.
-Define "laugh."
I would define it as
Attention!
-No!
-Yes!
-That's laughing?
-No.
I really thought,
"Let's not be too critical."
"Surely you can laugh sometimes."
But that is not the case.
And laughing without moving my lips?
-How would that be?
-Show us.
Let me put it this way.
That's laughing!
-It's a sound.
-It's psycho-laughter.
Bully said it's okay. So it's okay.
I would let that pass as self-defense.
Because it is so hard,
you get two lives.
You'll have two lives.
So if you're caught
showing the slightest smile
or any sign of laughter,
you'll have to buzz yourself out.
It goes like this.
If it happens a second time,
I'm sorry, you're out of the game.
You know that no one is allowed to laugh.
Still, it's every comedian's nightmare
that nobody laughs at your jokes.
I have a control room over there
with two buzzers, a green and a red one.
When I press the green one,
you'll hear this.
When you hear that,
you're not allowed to laugh anymore.
From that moment on Finito.
The second buzzer is red.
When I press it, this will happen.
That must be good news!
That means something good.
It means I caught someone laughing.
Can we laugh during time-out?
Yes, you can then.
-Let off steam.
-Laugh and laugh.
Also very important,
when you think your moment has come,
just in case one of you
has something prepared,
you can bang the gong over here.
That means everybody else has to shut up,
pay attention to you
and suck it up.
It's a bit like in the animal kingdom.
Everyone tries to grab the weakest animal.
There is the lynx.
Or the tiger.
It creeps up on its prey,
and then Cuckoo!
The question to all of you is
Why are you doing this to yourselves?
You are fighting for 50,000 euros
for a charity of your choice.
And you are fighting for this trophy.
There.
This is Mr. Wunder
from the canton of Bern,
original ball boy from 1954.
And who will be the one
bringing home this trophy
and 50,000 euros in the end,
we'll find out in six hours.
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.
I'll watch from over there.
Good luck.
-See you later.
-See you.
Probably in two minutes.
No laughing.
I want to be a warrior.
I want to be an unfunny warrior.
With a poker face.
I wonder if I can do that.
What happens next is really exciting.
Because they all feel
like they're at school now
or in church,
where you're not supposed to laugh.
So I think those first seconds
after the buzzer goes off
will be decisive.
I hope the show
won't be over in 10 seconds.
When I play a game,
ask anyone who ever played with me,
I want to win.
Am I laughing?
Okay, guys, have fun.
We're starting. Hold on.
Three, two, one
Just look at Kurt.
Kurt watches and analyzes.
Kurt thinks,
"I've survived the first 30 seconds."
Who wants to count these things with me?
-Yes.
-Shall we?
Are they real?
Not you. I'd rather do it with Carolin.
I'll take care of the basil.
-Some taste like shit.
-Never had those.
The first minutes were marked
by a deep discomfort
that we all tried to hide.
This actually isn't
a disposable coffee maker.
It can make several cups.
It's started.
They were all scared
of Mirco Nontschew's sounds.
All you did was try not to make
eye contact with anyone.
Kurt, sorry to sneak up on you.
Are you privately a vegetarian?
Listen, I'm waiting
for a very important call.
-So I
-No worries.
-Give me five minutes.
-Five minutes?
Glances were our toughest adversaries.
Teddy is the first one in the locker room.
Let's see. Teddy is going for it.
Okay. Teddy has hair now.
I have to attack straight away.
I mustn't listen.
I have to dive right in
like there is no tomorrow.
I need to dive right in,
dive to survive.
-What will we do now?
-What will we do now?
-You want some food?
-You want some food?
What is he doing? Oh, God.
-What's going on here?
-What's going on here?
-Can you shut up?
-Can you shut up?
Everyone is looking the other way.
-Come here, they won't hurt you.
-Come here, they won't hurt you.
-They won't hurt you.
-They won't hurt you.
I can manage not to laugh for a minute
if I'm sure it'll be over after that.
It got worse by the minute.
The effect it has on you
is not to be underestimated.
-Hey!
-Hey!
-Hey!
-Hey!
This hamster and Teddy together
That was our downfall.
-That was quick.
-Oh, no.
-Do you
-Who the fuck?
-Exactly.
-Was it me? No.
-You?
-Who?
-Who?
-Subconsciously.
Well, listen.
We'll have to take a look.
When you hear
and the lights turn red,
you feel like you've been caught stealing.
-Teddy!
-Watch it!
Are you nuts?
What were you doing there?
I hid behind the damn sofa for it.
How can you laugh at yourself?
-Teddy
-Of course.
Teddy thought he could hide.
I'll repeat, we have more than 40 cameras.
Teddy, what the hell
was so funny that you had to
hide behind the couch
all by yourself?
What was so funny?
I'd like to know.
He found himself too funny.
I just found it so absurd
to hide behind
I just gave away a life like that.
That's one life, Teddy.
Ouch.
The strategy I started out with
stopped working after six minutes.
So I went into survival mode.
Right.
Okay, we'll continue.
They're well under way.
Okay, pals, hold on tight.
Isn't it nice here?
I don't want anyone to clap
when I do any kind of performance.
Look, Anke and Wigald are in trouble.
I was really shocked how hard it was
to focus on that one task, not to laugh.
I hope the audience can see
how much inner suffering
and torment this causes.
Interestingly, I thought
Mirco would be my problem.
But Teddy was my big problem.
-Is there a problem?
-Is there a problem?
-I have no idea.
-I have no idea.
-You better shut up.
-Shut up.
-Let me tell you one thing.
-One thing.
Do not interrupt me
when I tell you to shut up.
Do not interrupt me when I tell you to
-I told you to shut up!
-Shut up!
Let go of me!
-Let go of me!
-Let go of me!
Let go of me, you critter!
I noticed that Carolin
had wet eyes the whole time.
And I thought,
she might not start laughing,
but she'll start crying.
-Are you a broken soul?
-Are you a broken
-Soul.
-Soul.
Okay, yes.
Oh, God.
Guys, guys, I'm wetting myself.
I'm losing it.
I don't know
Barbara, you have a premonition?
-No.
-No?
-Shall we look?
-It wasn't me.
-It wasn't you?
-No.
We'll make sure. Maybe I'm wrong.
I felt like I was on the verge of
having an orgasm the whole time,
thinking, "It's happening."
I wish I could have stalled it.
But in that respect, I am result-oriented.
Ciao, Babsi, see you soon.
Barbara was no surprise,
but that's what I like about her.
She has a great sense of humor
and she can't hide it.
Keep your mood up and a straight face.
Isn't it nice here?
The hardest thing is when
the unexpected happens.
Please listen now.
A hamster and a flute, for example.
Shit.
I don't know who laughed.
Stop it, man!
-Any idea who it was?
-No!
-No idea.
-Let's have a look!
Yeah, let's see.
I'm so excited. I'm curious
to see who it was. I didn't notice.
It was a smile.
There was no need for video evidence.
Facts were clear. Krömer could be heard
laughing across town.
And I thought, "Fuck."
"You can't let that happen again."
Compose yourselves, friends.
You have to watch, makes it hard.
I tried to look away,
but you have to look.
I tried to imagine the hamster was real
and that it was animal abuse.
Sometimes I looked
at the clock for support.
On the one hand, you think,
"Oh, God, I have made it this far.
Thank God,"
but, "There's still so much time. Oh, no."
Max, we haven't heard from you yet.
-You're quiet.
-Focused.
The problem is
-Stress, right?
-Yes, stress.
And I sense some kind of expectation.
So, of course, I'm aware
that you probably expect me
to do impressions.
-No!
-No!
We all love you!
No way!
You're not entirely wrong because
Don't do anything. Sit down, relax.
We don't expect anything.
Take Torsten, for example.
If I had to imitate Torsten,
I might start out
Okay. I think he's about
to imitate Torsten.
This'll be great. That's very shrewd.
-You don't have a beanie.
-In this weather I brought one, of course.
I would put on the beanie
It would be regrettable for all of us.
I think I have to keep challenging myself,
keep using the things I brought
in order to stay on the ball.
Then, of course, I wonder
how you sound
when you sound like Torsten Sträter.
He has the advantage of having
50 people with him as a secret weapon.
If you don't laugh at one,
he'll do another.
That's very dangerous.
Not easy, I think to myself.
But now it's too late
because everyone is staring at me.
Even the coffee maker is going haywire,
and everyone expects me to deliver.
Chewing on something is a good idea.
"Fuck."
I curse quietly to myself,
"Fuck, fuck. fuck."
But then I remember, or rather, I notice,
it is in the commas.
The plural is coming.
-Thank you.
-My pleasure.
For Torsten, that much I know,
adores his commas.
Perhaps, I think to myself,
it might suffice
to use as many commas as possible
in a single sentence,
built for this purpose only,
which I'd needlessly fill
with redundant clauses
lacking even
the slightest relevance to my story,
stretching it seemingly endlessly
in a manner almost painful to the listener
so that, in the end, they'll
neither remember how the sentence began
nor why it was read out
in the first place.
But is that really enough
to spoof the great Sträter?
I don't know.
But I can't face that pressure.
I feel very honored, thank you.
I'm touched.
I was touched by his performance.
I had to fight back the tears.
Max Giermann parodied me.
What is left for me to achieve?
I'll be right back.
Guys Oh, God.
Mirco. Oh, God.
Everyone fears Mirco. Watch.
He's different. I have no idea why.
He does things that make you go,
like, "What's going on?"
-It's about to get hard.
-Fuck.
I've met three geniuses in my life.
One of them is Mirco.
One, two three, stretch
I'm afraid of Mirco because
I find everything he does funny.
I'm cutting onions.
You always need onions.
Fuck.
A short break, please.
Don't look.
-All right.
-Mirco, please.
Every time you heard the gong
you got scared
because you knew
someone had prepared something.
Please, no.
He can make me crack up
because what he does is unpredictable.
He's an alien.
He speaks a different language.
Hi, folks! Listen.
We're going to sing a song.
We're singing the song Meat Salad.
And I won't do it alone.
We'll do it together today.
Good God, Father in Heaven.
Listen. We're singing. One group
Just a moment. Please don't interrupt.
Today we're singing
a brilliant song everybody knows.
A song by Katharina
Magdalena Wallensteiner.
I won't last 10 minutes.
It goes like this.
You put together a few things,
put the melody over here,
fiddle around here, then you'll see
The only thing that matters
is that all of us together
Rick is done for. I know that expression.
There are these knee-jerk moments
that make you laugh.
Mirco hits that damned
knee-jerk moment with me all the time.
meat salad
One moment, please.
It'll only take a sec.
We can't do without it.
I have an urge to laugh
that I can't suppress.
So I started pulling silly faces
to distract myself.
Right! And now
I just say
Off we go!
God, poor Anke.
-Now the children!
-"Now the children!"
All together now.
-I'm happy.
-So are we.
Thank you.
Nobody laughed,
and they just stared at me.
I have to say I was worried,
about to explode.
Look, these are joke items.
You have to be on your toes.
Touch anything, something funny happens.
Max has turned inward.
He's trying
to block everything, observing,
probably waiting for his moment.
Whose side are you on?
Carolin, come try this.
It's tasteless.
Everyone knows that about tofu.
I think it's time to become more radical.
Of course I brought
several secret weapons.
I brought the atomic bomb of comedy.
Once I set it off, everyone will be out.
I think, on this show,
you need to be ready to fail badly.
-Terrific, isn't it?
-This is great stuff.
We have to abandon our routines.
We have to surprise.
We're good, weren't we?
That was a very good idea.
Now he has to say it tastes like fart.
Sometimes you have to leave
your comfort zone as a comedian.
I'm eating.
The python is flipping out.
Now, brothers, I bid ye good night
The Lord in the high heavens keeps watch
We're in hell.
We're all getting ill.
What is this?