Lost Boys & Fairies (2024) s01e01 Episode Script
We're All Just Children
So, boys, tell me,
why do you want to adopt?
Well, we've been talking about it
for a while now,
haven't we, Gabe?
And we're really solid.
Been together, eight years now,
so it feels like the natural
next step, doesn't it?
I'm sensing you're
a little bit nervous, Gabriel.
I'm not nervous.
Good, just answer honestly,
and we'll all get along fine.
- Are you married?
- Uh, no, no.
Not that it's a problem.
Gabriel thinks it's heteronormative.
He thinks it's what straight couples do
when they've run outta things to say.
Will you take
paternity leave then, or?
Uh, we're gonna split it.
So I'm gonna take nine
months, and Gabe is gonna take one.
Three.
I thought
you were just taking the one.
No, three.
And we want a girl,
don't we, And?
- Why's that?
- Boys are nothing but trouble.
I was told we could be specific.
But you're halving
your chances there.
I mean, I'd encourage you
to keep your options open.
We'd really like a girl,
though, wouldn't we, And?
- Now, what do you do, Andy?
- Oh, I'm an accountant.
Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Well, it's certainly
not as exciting as Gabe.
Yes, I hear you're a drag queen.
- I'm not a drag queen.
- What are you then?
He's wonderful.
People come from miles to see him.
Oh, you should hear him sing
at Neverland.
Done.
Do you mind if I have a quick look
the house?
I just wanna check you're not
serial killers or something.
What?
Why did you invite her
to Neverland?
She might be into muff.
I wouldn't like to say.
We've only just met.
First rule of parenting,
watch what you say.
You never know who's listening.
You probably think I'll miss you
But I won't
You probably think I
hide my hurt inside
But I don't
So many people come and go
I find it best
To let them go
As soon as they're gone
Remembering's only
there to make you sad
They say it hurts your insides
When you miss the things you've had
Well, I don't cry 'cause
I've no love inside of me
I'm footloose
No memories to tie me down, I'm free
But sometimes I wonder
What happened to those with
whom I shared adventures
Those pirates
And lost boys and fairies
And sometimes those wonderings
They give me the strangest of feelings
Fleeting moments in my mind
Of those once upon a times long ago
Oh, where
Did all the lost boys go
Somewhere I'll never know
Those pirates
And lost boys and fairies
Where are we
You may need stair gates,
depending on their age,
top and bottom.
Is that you?
Oh, I see what you mean.
You're a work of art.
This one's got better tits
than I have.
I'm a social worker, boys,
not a priest.
Oh, wow.
It's where the magic happens.
Then put a lock on it,
or your magic'll soon
be covered in snot.
And you'll need a lock here.
And here.
And that'll have to go, won't it?
And what about your health?
Your finances?
Your childhood?
My childhood?
Yes, the way you were parented
can have a significant impact
on the parent
you're likely to become.
Oh, but I'll do things
very differently.
That's what they all say!
Look, children can push buttons
you never even knew you had.
But I had a very happy childhood.
Mum and Dad moved to be closer
to Cardiff just after I was born.
Tell me about your parents.
Dad was a physics teacher.
Mum worked at a nursery.
- Welsh language schools?
- Uh, yes.
Mum was loving.
Nurturing.
Well, there was a lot
of capel, chapel.
Dad is a deacon.
His dad was a minister, so.
My mum helped out with
She died when I was little,
a brain haemorrhage.
Oh, Gabriel,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's fine.
It was a long time ago.
Well, it must've been incredibly
traumatic for you as a child.
No, no, oh, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
I don't remember much
about it now, to be honest.
Will you raise your child
to speak Welsh as well?
No.
It wouldn't be fair on Andy,
would it?
Why not? I'm thinking
of having lessons, actually.
But don't you think it's like therapy
but without the actual therapy?
I'm not the one
who has a problem with it.
The way she looks at you with
those Judgey McJudge-Judge eyes.
I mean, does it need
to be so intrusive?
Why does she need
to know everything?
Any asshole can shoot
their load and make a baby.
Exactly, hence the need
for adoption.
And why, she has to make sure
we're not gonna, you know,
further damage
an already traumatised child.
What do you take me for?
I know what you're like.
You overshare.
Plus she told us not to lie,
and you hate lying, so.
Yes, but I'm not lying, am I?
Just being frugal with the truth.
Aren't you finding it intense?
Honestly, Jackie, it's true
that apart from wanting to get
as far away from my dad as possible,
I swear the only reason
she chose Cardiff
was because she was hoping she'd
make friends with Shirley Bassey!
Uh, we didn't have a lot, but,
I didn't want for love.
So now I wanna be able
to pass that on to someone,
help them thrive,
make a difference.
Did your mum ever befriend Shirley?
Yeah, she tried.
Nearly got arrested.
Yeah, yeah,
it is quite intense, isn't it?
So tell me about your hobbies
when you were little.
Children who need to be taught
to respect traditional moral values
I liked reading.
inalienable right to be gay.
All of those children are being cheated
of a sound start in life.
And dressing up,
loved dressing up.
Come on now, boy.
To make sure it's all done
in the best possible gay.
Gabriel?
Gabriel.
Pretty good, I'd say.
It was just him and me, so.
When voices in the darkness
The music was my happy place.
And whispers on night's breezes
And how does your dad
feel about the adoption?
Is he excited?
We haven't actually told him yet.
We wanted to tell him face to face.
I'm sure he'll be delighted, yeah.
Hmm, so next session we'll move on
to when did you have your first inkling
that you might be gay?
Well, there's never
one moment, Jackie.
More a series of moments.
Crack your door.
Did you struggle with it?
From my impure thoughts,
and handsome boys
No, not really.
How about your dad?
He struggled with it a bit,
I guess.
But no one's out in the Bible,
are they?
Being a teenager's horrific, isn't it?
It's just a confusing time.
I mean, I didn't know if I wanted
to kill the boys who picked on me
or fuck them instead.
I got, sorry, forgot
where I was for a moment.
Were you bullied, Gabriel?
God, no, nothing like that.
I was never bullied.
Just the usual stuff.
Bender!
I mean, I'm actually grateful for it.
Made me who I am today.
Being an outsider
gave me an advantage
because all that time
I threw into music.
I loved the attention.
And your dad
must've been so proud.
I think so.
He's not much of a talker.
Would you like to teach your child
to play the piano?
- I don't play now.
- Don't you?
I left music college at the end
of the first year, so.
Left.
Yeah, I just found it
a bit constraining, you know?
I lost a few years to temping.
Until Berwyn opened Neverland,
and I decided
to come back to Cardiff.
Andy.
Would you, would you mind
if I kissed you?
I'm sorry, I, I shouldn't
have said anything.
No, no, it's fine.
No one's ever asked
my permission before.
I often say that
that kiss saved my life.
Not that it needed saving.
Can I ask you personally, Gabriel,
why you want to adopt?
Honestly?
Yeah, yeah, no, much better to be
completely honest in the long run.
Okay.
I wanna adopt because,
because,
because I see all these young people
having fun like I used to,
and I can't do it anymore,
because I'm utterly bored
with the mundanity of life,
the cycle of work
and countless late nights,
because all the men my age in the park
seem to have children now,
because I love Andy so much,
and I know it'll make him happy.
But more than that,
I want to adopt
because I think
it'll make me a much kinder,
tolerant, patient person.
I'll become less angry and bitter,
and I'll have no choice
but to grow up
and care for someone
other than myself,
and so I'll finally
have to remove my head
out of my damaged, promiscuous,
yet still perfectly agreeable asshole.
You didn't say that.
Well, of course I didn't.
I honestly think Andy and I have
a lot we can offer as parents.
Okay.
Risk of special needs
Won't accept.
Harsh!
We both work!
So? Shouldn't we at least
be open to it?
Every case is different.
We wouldn't have the capacity,
and you know it.
Jackie said dealing with the trauma
will be hard enough.
All right, all right.
Down syndrome.
Wouldn't accept.
This is horrible!
Zip it, Saint Andrew.
But what would Mother Teresa do?
Nothing! She's dead.
Pregnant people get scanned
for anomalies all the time.
Okay, well, what about
AIDS or HIV then?
At first,
only gays and IV drug users
were being killed by AIDS,
but in three years,
nearly 2,000 of us will be dead.
Wouldn't accept.
- Are you kidding me?
- It'll complicate things!
- It's not complicated.
- It's still a complication, though.
- Try saying that to Berwyn.
- I'm sure Berwyn would agree.
Like fuck I agree, you cunt.
It's completely manageable.
And I'm exceptionally healthy,
thank you very much!
Well, it's great to know you're open
to discussing most things,
though I would like to chat
through your resistance
to meeting the birth parents.
Uh, I was open to it.
Well, they're hardly gonna be civil
if their kids have been taken off them.
Don't assume anything, Gabe.
Just keep an open mind.
See, you'd be able
to give your child
a fuller picture
of birth mum or dad,
and most adopters find it
a really positive experience.
And we all deserve
a second chance, don't we?
Why don't I say that
you're open to it for now.
Okay.
I've got a few questions
about your support network.
And in terms of family,
you've only put Andy's mum
down so far.
Won't she do?
Especially 'cause I sometimes think
she prefers Gabe to me.
Gabe's just wonderful, isn't he?
He's brought so much colour
to Andy's life, and so sensible.
You know, he had to grow up fast.
But Gabe, he brings all the sparkle.
Did he tell you studied
at a Royal College?
Not just any old college,
a royal one.
Not that he met Charles
or anything,
but always nice to know
he approves.
But it would help your case
to put your dad down, too.
Otherwise, they may wonder
why you didn't.
I'm phoning with some
good news, actually.
Why are you speaking English?
Andy's here with me, but hang on.
I can put you on loudspeaker.
No, no, no, don't do that.
And get on with it, Gabriel.
I'm on my way to choir practice.
We're going to adopt.
What do you mean 'adopt'?
Adopt.
A child.
We're gonna be parents.
Dad.
- Have you thought about this?
But of course we thought
about this.
I was hoping you'd be pleased.
I just don't think
it's a good idea, Gabriel.
We just need to educate him,
you know, to hold his hand.
Gabe had loads of nature/nurture
anxieties at the beginning, too.
No, I didn't.
You kept talking about "The Omen."
Fears are perfectly normal.
We run workshops for relatives
which are really effective
at putting people's minds at rest.
There's some amazing books
out there, too.
Sorry, but it's gonna take a lot more
than a book and a workshop.
You just need to talk to him again.
It'll be fine!
men deserve to be parents.
Has he actually said that?
He doesn't need to!
I honestly don't think
it's the gay thing.
It's the adoption thing.
I mean perhaps, Gabriel,
you're projecting your anxieties
onto your father because that's
what you grew up believing.
Nonsense! I don't believe that.
It's Dad, not me.
Of course I deserve
to have children.
In fact, I deserve them far more
than he ever did
because mine aren't gonna grow up
half as screwed up as I did
because I will make
damn sure they know
whoever they are
and whatever they become
that they have absolutely
nothing to be ashamed of.
Okay.
Gabriel, there's something
you are not telling me.
Only gays were affected
by AIDS.
A local authority shall not promote
the teaching in any maintained school.
Have an inalienable right
to be gay.
Gabe, is there anything
I should know?
What the hell did you go
and tell her all of that for?
The last time was years ago.
We dealt with it!
You sorted it out.
You know what
your boundaries are, right?
You, you never get drunk.
You never touch
white wine or Prosecco.
There's no problem anymore.
Exactly, so it doesn't matter
that I told her, does it?
Grow up, Gabriel.
Of course it matters!
The only reason kids
get adopted nowadays
is because their parents are
too fucked to look after them.
So why on earth should social
services trust us with one
when you used to get
just as fucked as up as well.
Sorry.
You're right, aren't you?
What's the difference?
But you came through it
in the end.
Only because you could afford
to pay for my therapy.
Hardly seems fair, does it?
Do you even want to adopt?
Of course I want to adopt.
'Course I do.
I've gone and fucked
everything up again, haven't I?
Not necessarily.
I talked to my manager,
and we both agree
the fact that you've been honest
goes in your favour.
I mean, I actually think that people
who've conquered their addictions
can make excellent adopters
because they know what it is
to live through trauma.
Look, I don't want us
to get ahead of ourselves,
'cause it will depend on panel
and depend
on the child's social worker,
and not everyone's gonna
necessarily think the way I do.
But it's, so,
it's, it's not game over?
I wouldn't carry on if I didn't think
I could get you both through this.
I spoke to your therapist
Most gay men his generation
are still dealing with the
effects of decades of shame.
But Gabriel's developed
several strategies
to manage his compulsions,
and in my professional view,
I think he'd make an excellent parent.
He never even gets drunk anymore.
Two's the magic number.
Oh, you and me both, love.
Look, I have no doubt
you've got so much
you can offer a child, Gabe,
both of you.
So I think we should
just proceed as normal,
if that's what you want.
Try stopping me.
Sorry, he's such a poof.
Oh, god, I'm late for court.
Don't worry,
I shall see myself out,
and I'll give you a ring
in the week.
There's, an activity day
I think you should go to.
An activity what?
Activity day, where you get to meet
children waiting to be adopted.
Well, like kiddie speed dating.
Gabe, please don't let the other
social workers hear you call it that.
But we haven't been approved yet.
It'll be after approval,
and I know you'll be sensible,
and you won't be seduced
by superficial factors.
Superficial factors?
How cute they are.
But do they know
that's why they're there?
The older ones will.
God, that's awful, isn't it?
I wasn't sure about it myself at first,
but they've placed over
a thousand children through them, so.
At least consider it.
I'll phone you.
Speak to your dad!
And I know you don't think
it's a good idea,
but our social worker says
that it could really help.
For goodness sake, Gabriel!
The way you're behaving,
I thought you were gonna tell me
that you had cancer or something.
Please, Dad.
What do you take me for?
I'm hardly gonna say no, am I?
It's nice to be asked, actually.
Thank you, Emrys.
Parenting isn't easy, you know.
I know that.
And you could end up
with anything.
Thing?
Oh, you, you know what I mean.
Will they speak Welsh?
Would that make them more
acceptable to you if they did?
Don't be ridiculous, Gabriel.
Well, there's obviously
a problem.
What, Dad?
I just think a child needs a mother,
that's all.
No, Emrys.
Look, I know how tough it
must've been for you without Non,
but a child doesn't need a mother.
A child needs love.
We're gonna be parents.
I feel like a dick.
You look great.
All the kids love Superman.
Supergirl, actually, Jackie.
Was that heteronormative of me?
Ignore him. He's always a twat
when he's nervous.
What's wrong with them?
Sizing up the competition,
aren't they?
I imagine
we pose a veritable threat.
Shit!
Scundered!
- Come on, we're late!
- I don't think we are.
What?
But it's cheating.
The theme's superheroes.
Prince Charming's not a superhero.
Fairy Godmother's not a superhero.
- They should be disqualified.
- It's not a competition.
Of course
it's a fucking competition.
Hello, everybody.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
Now, I'm sure you're all feeling
a mixture of excitement and nerves,
maybe a little anxious,
and that's okay.
Why the hell are we so horny
at moment?
Because our bodies think
we want to procreate?
Now in these brochures,
you'll find all the children's details.
Of course, you'll have
your own matching criteria,
and we know that people tend
to zone in on their favourites.
But do try and circulate.
Rule yourselves in rather than out.
Today is about seeing if you have
an emotional connection with anyone.
So I'll give you all some time
to look through them.
Ready?
Pick me! Pick me!
Pick me! Pick me!
Pick me! Pick me!
Okay, everybody, it's almost 10:30.
I'm sure you're all really keen
to get going.
Please come on through.
Uh, let's just wait a moment.
Take our time,
not feel the the pressure.
Try and talk to them all.
What do you think
of this one, though?
She had me at dress-up.
It is wrong that I wanna take
her magic wand
and shove it up her ass.
Star end first?
There's plenty of time, boys.
Go on, get out there. Mingle.
Hi, I am Andy.
What's your name?
My name's Ezmie!
Would you like to sit down?
Of course we would.
Hi, Ezmie.
I'm Gabriel, Andy's partner.
Gabriel, like the angel.
I was Mary.
Were you now?
I bet you were a lovely Mary.
I was, wasn't I, Paula?
You were, sweetheart.
And what are you making there,
Ezmie?
Dinosaur poo.
Excellent!
Andy loves nothing more than
making dinosaur poo as well,
don't you, Andy?
Oh, yeah.
In fact, many people don't know this,
but Andy's actually the second-best
dinosaur poo maker in the whole world.
Who's first-best then?
Well, you, Ezmie, of course.
Uh, where did all that come from?
- What?
- You were lush!
I mean, the way you just,
like, oh, I freaked out.
God, this is much harder
than I thought.
I know.
But you were amazing with her.
You made it look so easy.
Well, there was no pressure,
was there?
What do you mean?
Because I knew there was no way
that we would ever take her on.
- Hello. Can I sit here then?
- Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that's a pretty dress.
- Don't mind if we join you, do you?
- No.
Look, this matches.
Do you like pink?
- It's my favourite colour.
- Yeah, me too!
- Excuse me, Hazel?
- Yeah.
Hi, yes, I was wondering
if I might have a quick chat
with you and your partner.
Husband.
Husband, of course.
Come on. Come on!
So Tamsin, I hear you like "Annie."
I can't believe
we're being upstaged
by a bargain-basement
fairy godmother
and a closet case
of a husband.
When did we become
the beige ones?
We're supposed
to be quiet in here.
She can't even apply mascara properly.
She looks like a massive twat.
Be kind. You don't know
what she's been through.
Stop being so bloody nice
all the time, would you?
It is annoying.
Shush, no.
Don't. We'll have a semi now.
Come on, let's do
one more round.
It's like being back at school
and no one wants to play with us.
- That's how I feel, too.
- Oh, shit!
Hi.
How long have you been there?
Since lunchtime.
You two swear a lot.
Uh, well, we didn't think
anyone else was in here.
I like spying on people.
Are you gays?
Sorry?
'Cause Claire told me
they might be gays here,
but I've never met
a real one before.
Ta da!
Claire, is she your foster carer?
Is, is she around anywhere?
When you kissed,
it sounded like you were
slurping a giant ice lolly.
Yuck, it was disgusting.
I had to put my fingers
in my ears.
Do you have any lollies?
Uh, no.
- Sweets?
- No.
You're not trying very hard,
'cause some of the others have sweets.
You need to bring sweets
if you want us to like you.
Fairy Godmother has sweets.
But she's a massive twat.
- What are we doing?
- Following him.
- Why?
- I don't, I don't know.
In case he says anything
and we need to explain ourselves?
Doesn't stalking a child
feel a bit pedo-y?
No.
- Wait, does it?
- A bit.
I can't believe he heard us!
I can't believe he heard me say
I had a semi!
What if he says he heard me say
I had a semi
and they don't approve us
'cause I said I had a semi
and he heard me say it?
Well, Gabriel, that was
kind of extraordinary.
Stop it. I'm serious.
I think we just broke
all the rules in the brochure.
No more than Fairy Godmother
child-catcher.
We didn't bribe him, did we?
But we made out in front of him
and called one of the other
adopters a fucking twat.
Who's a fucking twat?
Jackie, I think we've done
a boo-boo.
We didn't know he was there!
It's the first rule of parenting!
We know, we know.
Shouldn't we apologise
or something?
No, don't worry.
Seriously, I know his
social worker, Llinos.
Plus his foster carer, Claire,
is a hoot.
It'll be fine.
To be honest, that boy's heard
helluva lot worse.
Did you see his profile?
We said between one and six.
He's too old.
Well, he's only just turned seven.
Yeah, going on 40.
Well, you would too
if you'd been through what he has.
Anyway, I will speak
to his family finder,
and we'll get him to introduce you
to Llinos and Claire.
Well, I thought we
didn't need to apologise.
Well, you don't.
I just think you should chat
with them about Jake.
But he's a boy.
I know, but keep an open mind,
because it sounds to me like
you've made a connection.
Right, before I start,
which one of you is the mum,
and which one of you is the dad?
Sorry?
Gotcha!
Look at their faces, Llinos.
Don't worry, boys.
My daughter's a lesbian,
and when I had
my first gay adopters,
she kept telling me off
for trying to work out
which one was the mum
and which one was the dad.
But then I realised, one was both,
and the other one was lazy.
So I hear you're interested
in my Jakey.
- Yes.
So what can I tell you about Jake?
He's my biggest achievement,
that's what he is.
And you've been doing this
for 30 years,
so that's saying something.
How many is it now?
Think it's around 400 and counting.
- Sorry, 400 what?
- Children.
Shit!
Jake was right,
you do have potty mouths.
- Sorry.
- I'm teasing.
Anyway, some people thought
he was unadoptable
when he first came to me,
didn't they Llin?
Said he was feral.
Can you imagine that,
calling a child feral?
He wasn't feral.
He was terrified,
especially of men.
Wouldn't come near Malcolm,
that's my husband,
first couple of weeks.
So then Malcs started taking him
on the school run.
Jake could just about manage that,
five minutes in the car with him,
belted in the back
where he didn't have
to look him in the eye.
But then, by the end of term,
Malcs had him singing along to
Where do you go to, my lovely
No way! That's the song Gabe
performed the night we met.
Well, there's a sign
if ever I heard one!
Huh, voice of an angel, Jake has.
Mind you, he can be
a right devil too sometimes,
but nothing you can't handle.
It's all bravado.
He was under the sofa, wasn't he?
Yeah, that'd be right.
He likes to hide in small spaces.
That way he can be sure
no one else is in there with him.
But what that boy needs
more than anything else
is patience, cuddles, and love.
God, I'm gonna miss his cuddles.
Gonna break my heart
when he leaves.
I'd adopt him myself,
but I've got six already.
Six!
Three of my own,
three adopted.
And anyway, two dads
will be bloody fantastic for him.
As long as you can keep
your hands off each other.
Oh, we really are very sorry
about all that.
Don't be.
Don't ever apologise
for showing a child
what real love looks like.
You want a minute, boys?
Please.
That's so funny! That's so funny.
We're all just children, aren't we?
Couldn't we at least take a look
at his CAR/B form?
He's seven and a boy,
and it's complex.
We can't just keep moving
the goalposts.
I don't see what the problem is.
- I don't want a boy!
If it's just about feeling,
why do we bother going
through the assessment?
Come on, sweetheart.
Maybe we should have a look.
Just a look.
I know, I know.
Just a look.
"Jake is an inquisitive, bright child
with a vivid imagination."
Out came their very own baby.
"He's deeply affectionate
but can be extremely hypervigilant,
and his behaviour can sometimes
be difficult to manage.
However, this is much improved
during placement,
and Jake is responding well
to praise and firm boundaries."
You're safe, hun.
You're safe, you're safe.
"He's come a long way
since he first arrived.
He has a good relationship
with both foster carers,
demonstrating an ability
to form a strong attachment.
- What are you doing? Oh, my god!
- You did it!
- Go away!
- Get up!
Though he still has issues with trust
due to his early years' experiences.
Let me see him!
No, no, no!
- No, don't take Jakey!
- Where's he going to?
- Jakey, I'm sorry!
- Jake! Jake!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Jake.
Let me see him!
Let me see him!
- Is violence hereditary?
- No.
I don't think so.
Because what if he ends up
hurting us?
What if his dad turns up one day
and kills us?
That's highly unlikely though,
isn't it?
Well, still, there's no way
I'd meet them.
They're monsters.
I don't know, And.
He's so far removed
what we originally specified.
- He's a boy. I don't like boys.
- But you're gay!
So I know
what they're capable of!
We shouldn't be seduced
just because we've met him.
We just need to think
about the cold, hard facts.
But he isn't a cold,
hard fact anymore, is he?
I knew this would happen.
I knew
that you would get attached.
He's got some really intense
needs, And.
Look, I know. I know.
What would you do, Billy?
Do it, do it.
Do it!
Wrong gender, though.
Billy was actually a girl.
No, really?
They only found out
after she died.
Well, that's the thing.
There's always been a place
for everyone in Victoria Park,
no matter what their gender.
What?
You're such a twat.
Just think about it.
You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there's diamonds
and pearls in your hair
Yes, there are
You live in a fancy apartment
Off the Boulevard St. Michel
Where you keep your
Rollings Stones records
And a friend of Sacha
Distel, yes, you do
But where do you go to, my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside
your head, yes, I do
I remember the back streets of Naples
Two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their
earthly-born tags, they tried
So look into my face,
What?
Let's do it.
But I know you still bear the scar
deep inside, yes, you do
I know where you go to, my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
'Cause I can look inside your head
End of episode 1
why do you want to adopt?
Well, we've been talking about it
for a while now,
haven't we, Gabe?
And we're really solid.
Been together, eight years now,
so it feels like the natural
next step, doesn't it?
I'm sensing you're
a little bit nervous, Gabriel.
I'm not nervous.
Good, just answer honestly,
and we'll all get along fine.
- Are you married?
- Uh, no, no.
Not that it's a problem.
Gabriel thinks it's heteronormative.
He thinks it's what straight couples do
when they've run outta things to say.
Will you take
paternity leave then, or?
Uh, we're gonna split it.
So I'm gonna take nine
months, and Gabe is gonna take one.
Three.
I thought
you were just taking the one.
No, three.
And we want a girl,
don't we, And?
- Why's that?
- Boys are nothing but trouble.
I was told we could be specific.
But you're halving
your chances there.
I mean, I'd encourage you
to keep your options open.
We'd really like a girl,
though, wouldn't we, And?
- Now, what do you do, Andy?
- Oh, I'm an accountant.
Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Well, it's certainly
not as exciting as Gabe.
Yes, I hear you're a drag queen.
- I'm not a drag queen.
- What are you then?
He's wonderful.
People come from miles to see him.
Oh, you should hear him sing
at Neverland.
Done.
Do you mind if I have a quick look
the house?
I just wanna check you're not
serial killers or something.
What?
Why did you invite her
to Neverland?
She might be into muff.
I wouldn't like to say.
We've only just met.
First rule of parenting,
watch what you say.
You never know who's listening.
You probably think I'll miss you
But I won't
You probably think I
hide my hurt inside
But I don't
So many people come and go
I find it best
To let them go
As soon as they're gone
Remembering's only
there to make you sad
They say it hurts your insides
When you miss the things you've had
Well, I don't cry 'cause
I've no love inside of me
I'm footloose
No memories to tie me down, I'm free
But sometimes I wonder
What happened to those with
whom I shared adventures
Those pirates
And lost boys and fairies
And sometimes those wonderings
They give me the strangest of feelings
Fleeting moments in my mind
Of those once upon a times long ago
Oh, where
Did all the lost boys go
Somewhere I'll never know
Those pirates
And lost boys and fairies
Where are we
You may need stair gates,
depending on their age,
top and bottom.
Is that you?
Oh, I see what you mean.
You're a work of art.
This one's got better tits
than I have.
I'm a social worker, boys,
not a priest.
Oh, wow.
It's where the magic happens.
Then put a lock on it,
or your magic'll soon
be covered in snot.
And you'll need a lock here.
And here.
And that'll have to go, won't it?
And what about your health?
Your finances?
Your childhood?
My childhood?
Yes, the way you were parented
can have a significant impact
on the parent
you're likely to become.
Oh, but I'll do things
very differently.
That's what they all say!
Look, children can push buttons
you never even knew you had.
But I had a very happy childhood.
Mum and Dad moved to be closer
to Cardiff just after I was born.
Tell me about your parents.
Dad was a physics teacher.
Mum worked at a nursery.
- Welsh language schools?
- Uh, yes.
Mum was loving.
Nurturing.
Well, there was a lot
of capel, chapel.
Dad is a deacon.
His dad was a minister, so.
My mum helped out with
She died when I was little,
a brain haemorrhage.
Oh, Gabriel,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's fine.
It was a long time ago.
Well, it must've been incredibly
traumatic for you as a child.
No, no, oh, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
I don't remember much
about it now, to be honest.
Will you raise your child
to speak Welsh as well?
No.
It wouldn't be fair on Andy,
would it?
Why not? I'm thinking
of having lessons, actually.
But don't you think it's like therapy
but without the actual therapy?
I'm not the one
who has a problem with it.
The way she looks at you with
those Judgey McJudge-Judge eyes.
I mean, does it need
to be so intrusive?
Why does she need
to know everything?
Any asshole can shoot
their load and make a baby.
Exactly, hence the need
for adoption.
And why, she has to make sure
we're not gonna, you know,
further damage
an already traumatised child.
What do you take me for?
I know what you're like.
You overshare.
Plus she told us not to lie,
and you hate lying, so.
Yes, but I'm not lying, am I?
Just being frugal with the truth.
Aren't you finding it intense?
Honestly, Jackie, it's true
that apart from wanting to get
as far away from my dad as possible,
I swear the only reason
she chose Cardiff
was because she was hoping she'd
make friends with Shirley Bassey!
Uh, we didn't have a lot, but,
I didn't want for love.
So now I wanna be able
to pass that on to someone,
help them thrive,
make a difference.
Did your mum ever befriend Shirley?
Yeah, she tried.
Nearly got arrested.
Yeah, yeah,
it is quite intense, isn't it?
So tell me about your hobbies
when you were little.
Children who need to be taught
to respect traditional moral values
I liked reading.
inalienable right to be gay.
All of those children are being cheated
of a sound start in life.
And dressing up,
loved dressing up.
Come on now, boy.
To make sure it's all done
in the best possible gay.
Gabriel?
Gabriel.
Pretty good, I'd say.
It was just him and me, so.
When voices in the darkness
The music was my happy place.
And whispers on night's breezes
And how does your dad
feel about the adoption?
Is he excited?
We haven't actually told him yet.
We wanted to tell him face to face.
I'm sure he'll be delighted, yeah.
Hmm, so next session we'll move on
to when did you have your first inkling
that you might be gay?
Well, there's never
one moment, Jackie.
More a series of moments.
Crack your door.
Did you struggle with it?
From my impure thoughts,
and handsome boys
No, not really.
How about your dad?
He struggled with it a bit,
I guess.
But no one's out in the Bible,
are they?
Being a teenager's horrific, isn't it?
It's just a confusing time.
I mean, I didn't know if I wanted
to kill the boys who picked on me
or fuck them instead.
I got, sorry, forgot
where I was for a moment.
Were you bullied, Gabriel?
God, no, nothing like that.
I was never bullied.
Just the usual stuff.
Bender!
I mean, I'm actually grateful for it.
Made me who I am today.
Being an outsider
gave me an advantage
because all that time
I threw into music.
I loved the attention.
And your dad
must've been so proud.
I think so.
He's not much of a talker.
Would you like to teach your child
to play the piano?
- I don't play now.
- Don't you?
I left music college at the end
of the first year, so.
Left.
Yeah, I just found it
a bit constraining, you know?
I lost a few years to temping.
Until Berwyn opened Neverland,
and I decided
to come back to Cardiff.
Andy.
Would you, would you mind
if I kissed you?
I'm sorry, I, I shouldn't
have said anything.
No, no, it's fine.
No one's ever asked
my permission before.
I often say that
that kiss saved my life.
Not that it needed saving.
Can I ask you personally, Gabriel,
why you want to adopt?
Honestly?
Yeah, yeah, no, much better to be
completely honest in the long run.
Okay.
I wanna adopt because,
because,
because I see all these young people
having fun like I used to,
and I can't do it anymore,
because I'm utterly bored
with the mundanity of life,
the cycle of work
and countless late nights,
because all the men my age in the park
seem to have children now,
because I love Andy so much,
and I know it'll make him happy.
But more than that,
I want to adopt
because I think
it'll make me a much kinder,
tolerant, patient person.
I'll become less angry and bitter,
and I'll have no choice
but to grow up
and care for someone
other than myself,
and so I'll finally
have to remove my head
out of my damaged, promiscuous,
yet still perfectly agreeable asshole.
You didn't say that.
Well, of course I didn't.
I honestly think Andy and I have
a lot we can offer as parents.
Okay.
Risk of special needs
Won't accept.
Harsh!
We both work!
So? Shouldn't we at least
be open to it?
Every case is different.
We wouldn't have the capacity,
and you know it.
Jackie said dealing with the trauma
will be hard enough.
All right, all right.
Down syndrome.
Wouldn't accept.
This is horrible!
Zip it, Saint Andrew.
But what would Mother Teresa do?
Nothing! She's dead.
Pregnant people get scanned
for anomalies all the time.
Okay, well, what about
AIDS or HIV then?
At first,
only gays and IV drug users
were being killed by AIDS,
but in three years,
nearly 2,000 of us will be dead.
Wouldn't accept.
- Are you kidding me?
- It'll complicate things!
- It's not complicated.
- It's still a complication, though.
- Try saying that to Berwyn.
- I'm sure Berwyn would agree.
Like fuck I agree, you cunt.
It's completely manageable.
And I'm exceptionally healthy,
thank you very much!
Well, it's great to know you're open
to discussing most things,
though I would like to chat
through your resistance
to meeting the birth parents.
Uh, I was open to it.
Well, they're hardly gonna be civil
if their kids have been taken off them.
Don't assume anything, Gabe.
Just keep an open mind.
See, you'd be able
to give your child
a fuller picture
of birth mum or dad,
and most adopters find it
a really positive experience.
And we all deserve
a second chance, don't we?
Why don't I say that
you're open to it for now.
Okay.
I've got a few questions
about your support network.
And in terms of family,
you've only put Andy's mum
down so far.
Won't she do?
Especially 'cause I sometimes think
she prefers Gabe to me.
Gabe's just wonderful, isn't he?
He's brought so much colour
to Andy's life, and so sensible.
You know, he had to grow up fast.
But Gabe, he brings all the sparkle.
Did he tell you studied
at a Royal College?
Not just any old college,
a royal one.
Not that he met Charles
or anything,
but always nice to know
he approves.
But it would help your case
to put your dad down, too.
Otherwise, they may wonder
why you didn't.
I'm phoning with some
good news, actually.
Why are you speaking English?
Andy's here with me, but hang on.
I can put you on loudspeaker.
No, no, no, don't do that.
And get on with it, Gabriel.
I'm on my way to choir practice.
We're going to adopt.
What do you mean 'adopt'?
Adopt.
A child.
We're gonna be parents.
Dad.
- Have you thought about this?
But of course we thought
about this.
I was hoping you'd be pleased.
I just don't think
it's a good idea, Gabriel.
We just need to educate him,
you know, to hold his hand.
Gabe had loads of nature/nurture
anxieties at the beginning, too.
No, I didn't.
You kept talking about "The Omen."
Fears are perfectly normal.
We run workshops for relatives
which are really effective
at putting people's minds at rest.
There's some amazing books
out there, too.
Sorry, but it's gonna take a lot more
than a book and a workshop.
You just need to talk to him again.
It'll be fine!
men deserve to be parents.
Has he actually said that?
He doesn't need to!
I honestly don't think
it's the gay thing.
It's the adoption thing.
I mean perhaps, Gabriel,
you're projecting your anxieties
onto your father because that's
what you grew up believing.
Nonsense! I don't believe that.
It's Dad, not me.
Of course I deserve
to have children.
In fact, I deserve them far more
than he ever did
because mine aren't gonna grow up
half as screwed up as I did
because I will make
damn sure they know
whoever they are
and whatever they become
that they have absolutely
nothing to be ashamed of.
Okay.
Gabriel, there's something
you are not telling me.
Only gays were affected
by AIDS.
A local authority shall not promote
the teaching in any maintained school.
Have an inalienable right
to be gay.
Gabe, is there anything
I should know?
What the hell did you go
and tell her all of that for?
The last time was years ago.
We dealt with it!
You sorted it out.
You know what
your boundaries are, right?
You, you never get drunk.
You never touch
white wine or Prosecco.
There's no problem anymore.
Exactly, so it doesn't matter
that I told her, does it?
Grow up, Gabriel.
Of course it matters!
The only reason kids
get adopted nowadays
is because their parents are
too fucked to look after them.
So why on earth should social
services trust us with one
when you used to get
just as fucked as up as well.
Sorry.
You're right, aren't you?
What's the difference?
But you came through it
in the end.
Only because you could afford
to pay for my therapy.
Hardly seems fair, does it?
Do you even want to adopt?
Of course I want to adopt.
'Course I do.
I've gone and fucked
everything up again, haven't I?
Not necessarily.
I talked to my manager,
and we both agree
the fact that you've been honest
goes in your favour.
I mean, I actually think that people
who've conquered their addictions
can make excellent adopters
because they know what it is
to live through trauma.
Look, I don't want us
to get ahead of ourselves,
'cause it will depend on panel
and depend
on the child's social worker,
and not everyone's gonna
necessarily think the way I do.
But it's, so,
it's, it's not game over?
I wouldn't carry on if I didn't think
I could get you both through this.
I spoke to your therapist
Most gay men his generation
are still dealing with the
effects of decades of shame.
But Gabriel's developed
several strategies
to manage his compulsions,
and in my professional view,
I think he'd make an excellent parent.
He never even gets drunk anymore.
Two's the magic number.
Oh, you and me both, love.
Look, I have no doubt
you've got so much
you can offer a child, Gabe,
both of you.
So I think we should
just proceed as normal,
if that's what you want.
Try stopping me.
Sorry, he's such a poof.
Oh, god, I'm late for court.
Don't worry,
I shall see myself out,
and I'll give you a ring
in the week.
There's, an activity day
I think you should go to.
An activity what?
Activity day, where you get to meet
children waiting to be adopted.
Well, like kiddie speed dating.
Gabe, please don't let the other
social workers hear you call it that.
But we haven't been approved yet.
It'll be after approval,
and I know you'll be sensible,
and you won't be seduced
by superficial factors.
Superficial factors?
How cute they are.
But do they know
that's why they're there?
The older ones will.
God, that's awful, isn't it?
I wasn't sure about it myself at first,
but they've placed over
a thousand children through them, so.
At least consider it.
I'll phone you.
Speak to your dad!
And I know you don't think
it's a good idea,
but our social worker says
that it could really help.
For goodness sake, Gabriel!
The way you're behaving,
I thought you were gonna tell me
that you had cancer or something.
Please, Dad.
What do you take me for?
I'm hardly gonna say no, am I?
It's nice to be asked, actually.
Thank you, Emrys.
Parenting isn't easy, you know.
I know that.
And you could end up
with anything.
Thing?
Oh, you, you know what I mean.
Will they speak Welsh?
Would that make them more
acceptable to you if they did?
Don't be ridiculous, Gabriel.
Well, there's obviously
a problem.
What, Dad?
I just think a child needs a mother,
that's all.
No, Emrys.
Look, I know how tough it
must've been for you without Non,
but a child doesn't need a mother.
A child needs love.
We're gonna be parents.
I feel like a dick.
You look great.
All the kids love Superman.
Supergirl, actually, Jackie.
Was that heteronormative of me?
Ignore him. He's always a twat
when he's nervous.
What's wrong with them?
Sizing up the competition,
aren't they?
I imagine
we pose a veritable threat.
Shit!
Scundered!
- Come on, we're late!
- I don't think we are.
What?
But it's cheating.
The theme's superheroes.
Prince Charming's not a superhero.
Fairy Godmother's not a superhero.
- They should be disqualified.
- It's not a competition.
Of course
it's a fucking competition.
Hello, everybody.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
Now, I'm sure you're all feeling
a mixture of excitement and nerves,
maybe a little anxious,
and that's okay.
Why the hell are we so horny
at moment?
Because our bodies think
we want to procreate?
Now in these brochures,
you'll find all the children's details.
Of course, you'll have
your own matching criteria,
and we know that people tend
to zone in on their favourites.
But do try and circulate.
Rule yourselves in rather than out.
Today is about seeing if you have
an emotional connection with anyone.
So I'll give you all some time
to look through them.
Ready?
Pick me! Pick me!
Pick me! Pick me!
Pick me! Pick me!
Okay, everybody, it's almost 10:30.
I'm sure you're all really keen
to get going.
Please come on through.
Uh, let's just wait a moment.
Take our time,
not feel the the pressure.
Try and talk to them all.
What do you think
of this one, though?
She had me at dress-up.
It is wrong that I wanna take
her magic wand
and shove it up her ass.
Star end first?
There's plenty of time, boys.
Go on, get out there. Mingle.
Hi, I am Andy.
What's your name?
My name's Ezmie!
Would you like to sit down?
Of course we would.
Hi, Ezmie.
I'm Gabriel, Andy's partner.
Gabriel, like the angel.
I was Mary.
Were you now?
I bet you were a lovely Mary.
I was, wasn't I, Paula?
You were, sweetheart.
And what are you making there,
Ezmie?
Dinosaur poo.
Excellent!
Andy loves nothing more than
making dinosaur poo as well,
don't you, Andy?
Oh, yeah.
In fact, many people don't know this,
but Andy's actually the second-best
dinosaur poo maker in the whole world.
Who's first-best then?
Well, you, Ezmie, of course.
Uh, where did all that come from?
- What?
- You were lush!
I mean, the way you just,
like, oh, I freaked out.
God, this is much harder
than I thought.
I know.
But you were amazing with her.
You made it look so easy.
Well, there was no pressure,
was there?
What do you mean?
Because I knew there was no way
that we would ever take her on.
- Hello. Can I sit here then?
- Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that's a pretty dress.
- Don't mind if we join you, do you?
- No.
Look, this matches.
Do you like pink?
- It's my favourite colour.
- Yeah, me too!
- Excuse me, Hazel?
- Yeah.
Hi, yes, I was wondering
if I might have a quick chat
with you and your partner.
Husband.
Husband, of course.
Come on. Come on!
So Tamsin, I hear you like "Annie."
I can't believe
we're being upstaged
by a bargain-basement
fairy godmother
and a closet case
of a husband.
When did we become
the beige ones?
We're supposed
to be quiet in here.
She can't even apply mascara properly.
She looks like a massive twat.
Be kind. You don't know
what she's been through.
Stop being so bloody nice
all the time, would you?
It is annoying.
Shush, no.
Don't. We'll have a semi now.
Come on, let's do
one more round.
It's like being back at school
and no one wants to play with us.
- That's how I feel, too.
- Oh, shit!
Hi.
How long have you been there?
Since lunchtime.
You two swear a lot.
Uh, well, we didn't think
anyone else was in here.
I like spying on people.
Are you gays?
Sorry?
'Cause Claire told me
they might be gays here,
but I've never met
a real one before.
Ta da!
Claire, is she your foster carer?
Is, is she around anywhere?
When you kissed,
it sounded like you were
slurping a giant ice lolly.
Yuck, it was disgusting.
I had to put my fingers
in my ears.
Do you have any lollies?
Uh, no.
- Sweets?
- No.
You're not trying very hard,
'cause some of the others have sweets.
You need to bring sweets
if you want us to like you.
Fairy Godmother has sweets.
But she's a massive twat.
- What are we doing?
- Following him.
- Why?
- I don't, I don't know.
In case he says anything
and we need to explain ourselves?
Doesn't stalking a child
feel a bit pedo-y?
No.
- Wait, does it?
- A bit.
I can't believe he heard us!
I can't believe he heard me say
I had a semi!
What if he says he heard me say
I had a semi
and they don't approve us
'cause I said I had a semi
and he heard me say it?
Well, Gabriel, that was
kind of extraordinary.
Stop it. I'm serious.
I think we just broke
all the rules in the brochure.
No more than Fairy Godmother
child-catcher.
We didn't bribe him, did we?
But we made out in front of him
and called one of the other
adopters a fucking twat.
Who's a fucking twat?
Jackie, I think we've done
a boo-boo.
We didn't know he was there!
It's the first rule of parenting!
We know, we know.
Shouldn't we apologise
or something?
No, don't worry.
Seriously, I know his
social worker, Llinos.
Plus his foster carer, Claire,
is a hoot.
It'll be fine.
To be honest, that boy's heard
helluva lot worse.
Did you see his profile?
We said between one and six.
He's too old.
Well, he's only just turned seven.
Yeah, going on 40.
Well, you would too
if you'd been through what he has.
Anyway, I will speak
to his family finder,
and we'll get him to introduce you
to Llinos and Claire.
Well, I thought we
didn't need to apologise.
Well, you don't.
I just think you should chat
with them about Jake.
But he's a boy.
I know, but keep an open mind,
because it sounds to me like
you've made a connection.
Right, before I start,
which one of you is the mum,
and which one of you is the dad?
Sorry?
Gotcha!
Look at their faces, Llinos.
Don't worry, boys.
My daughter's a lesbian,
and when I had
my first gay adopters,
she kept telling me off
for trying to work out
which one was the mum
and which one was the dad.
But then I realised, one was both,
and the other one was lazy.
So I hear you're interested
in my Jakey.
- Yes.
So what can I tell you about Jake?
He's my biggest achievement,
that's what he is.
And you've been doing this
for 30 years,
so that's saying something.
How many is it now?
Think it's around 400 and counting.
- Sorry, 400 what?
- Children.
Shit!
Jake was right,
you do have potty mouths.
- Sorry.
- I'm teasing.
Anyway, some people thought
he was unadoptable
when he first came to me,
didn't they Llin?
Said he was feral.
Can you imagine that,
calling a child feral?
He wasn't feral.
He was terrified,
especially of men.
Wouldn't come near Malcolm,
that's my husband,
first couple of weeks.
So then Malcs started taking him
on the school run.
Jake could just about manage that,
five minutes in the car with him,
belted in the back
where he didn't have
to look him in the eye.
But then, by the end of term,
Malcs had him singing along to
Where do you go to, my lovely
No way! That's the song Gabe
performed the night we met.
Well, there's a sign
if ever I heard one!
Huh, voice of an angel, Jake has.
Mind you, he can be
a right devil too sometimes,
but nothing you can't handle.
It's all bravado.
He was under the sofa, wasn't he?
Yeah, that'd be right.
He likes to hide in small spaces.
That way he can be sure
no one else is in there with him.
But what that boy needs
more than anything else
is patience, cuddles, and love.
God, I'm gonna miss his cuddles.
Gonna break my heart
when he leaves.
I'd adopt him myself,
but I've got six already.
Six!
Three of my own,
three adopted.
And anyway, two dads
will be bloody fantastic for him.
As long as you can keep
your hands off each other.
Oh, we really are very sorry
about all that.
Don't be.
Don't ever apologise
for showing a child
what real love looks like.
You want a minute, boys?
Please.
That's so funny! That's so funny.
We're all just children, aren't we?
Couldn't we at least take a look
at his CAR/B form?
He's seven and a boy,
and it's complex.
We can't just keep moving
the goalposts.
I don't see what the problem is.
- I don't want a boy!
If it's just about feeling,
why do we bother going
through the assessment?
Come on, sweetheart.
Maybe we should have a look.
Just a look.
I know, I know.
Just a look.
"Jake is an inquisitive, bright child
with a vivid imagination."
Out came their very own baby.
"He's deeply affectionate
but can be extremely hypervigilant,
and his behaviour can sometimes
be difficult to manage.
However, this is much improved
during placement,
and Jake is responding well
to praise and firm boundaries."
You're safe, hun.
You're safe, you're safe.
"He's come a long way
since he first arrived.
He has a good relationship
with both foster carers,
demonstrating an ability
to form a strong attachment.
- What are you doing? Oh, my god!
- You did it!
- Go away!
- Get up!
Though he still has issues with trust
due to his early years' experiences.
Let me see him!
No, no, no!
- No, don't take Jakey!
- Where's he going to?
- Jakey, I'm sorry!
- Jake! Jake!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Jake.
Let me see him!
Let me see him!
- Is violence hereditary?
- No.
I don't think so.
Because what if he ends up
hurting us?
What if his dad turns up one day
and kills us?
That's highly unlikely though,
isn't it?
Well, still, there's no way
I'd meet them.
They're monsters.
I don't know, And.
He's so far removed
what we originally specified.
- He's a boy. I don't like boys.
- But you're gay!
So I know
what they're capable of!
We shouldn't be seduced
just because we've met him.
We just need to think
about the cold, hard facts.
But he isn't a cold,
hard fact anymore, is he?
I knew this would happen.
I knew
that you would get attached.
He's got some really intense
needs, And.
Look, I know. I know.
What would you do, Billy?
Do it, do it.
Do it!
Wrong gender, though.
Billy was actually a girl.
No, really?
They only found out
after she died.
Well, that's the thing.
There's always been a place
for everyone in Victoria Park,
no matter what their gender.
What?
You're such a twat.
Just think about it.
You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there's diamonds
and pearls in your hair
Yes, there are
You live in a fancy apartment
Off the Boulevard St. Michel
Where you keep your
Rollings Stones records
And a friend of Sacha
Distel, yes, you do
But where do you go to, my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside
your head, yes, I do
I remember the back streets of Naples
Two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition
To shake off their
earthly-born tags, they tried
So look into my face,
What?
Let's do it.
But I know you still bear the scar
deep inside, yes, you do
I know where you go to, my lovely
When you're alone in your bed
I know the thoughts that surround you
'Cause I can look inside your head
End of episode 1