Love, Lies & Records (2017) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
1 This programme contains some strong language.
Love, Lies & Records 1x01 Rob? Rob, is that you? DOOR RATTLES DOOR RATTLES SHE WHISPERS: Hi, is that the police? Yeah, erm, a man's just tried to get into my house and now he's heading round towards the garage.
Yeah, it's just that I'm at home alone with my two kids.
My husband's at a college reunion Sorry, it's just I'm in a bit of a panic.
It's Kate Dickenson.
It's 38 Springbank Road, and, please, can you get here as quickly as you can? And what makes you think he's an intruder? Because I've just heard him trying the door handle of my house.
He is in my garden right now, trespassing on my property! SHE GASPS He's coming out of the garage and he's heading towards the house again.
Do you know what? Forget it, I've just found my husband's gun.
I'll deal with it myself.
Who is it, Mum? I don't know, just go back to bed! Mum? Both of you, go back to bed! GROANING Kate, it's me! GROANING SIRENS BLARE For God's sake! What the hell do you think you are doing? You've broken me bloody hand! Yeah, well, you were lucky it wasn't your head! Mrs Dickenson, where's the gun? I decided not to use it.
Actually, I just said that to get you here.
You do know it's against the law to give wrong information? Yeah, as it happens, this is my stepson, Liam.
Hiya.
Dad's back.
I couldn't find the key, it wasn't where Dad said it was.
Well, he could've been a mass murderer.
What's going on? Your son decided to break into our house.
The keys weren't on top of the tyres.
I thought he was an intruder and I called the police.
It's my fault, I told him not to wake you - because you had a big day tomorrow.
- Well, no, this morning! Can I ask, have you got a licence for your gun, sir? What gun? I don't have a gun.
For God's sake, I'm in the force.
I'm a DS over at Westfield.
And what the hell's all this about a gun? Yeah, I can I can explain that.
I don't think any of them are broken, you wouldn't be able to move them.
I think they're probably just badly bruised.
Go on.
So what did your mother say when you told her you were staying with me? Nothing.
You didn't tell her, did you? She won't be bothered.
She told me to piss off and never come back.
Liam! She said she never wanted to see me again.
You know what she's like, she says things she doesn't mean.
And she gave up a lot so you could go to uni.
You can't just walk out because your girlfriend's fallen out with you.
- You can't just throw it away.
- I'm not throwing anything away.
Well, if she loves you, she'll still be there for you when you finish at Bristol.
I don't give a shit about my degree.
I'm not going back.
Right, that's enough, we'll talk about it tomorrow.
You get some sleep.
I'll text Gill and let her know he's all right and pull the bed out in Tom's room for him.
There's a spare duvet in Lucy's wardrobe, I'll go and get it.
Kate .
.
I'm sorry I frightened you.
I'm sorry I whacked your hand.
MOBILE BEEPS MOBILE BEEPS Can we have a dog? How many times do I have to tell you? It wouldn't be fair on the dog, there's no-one to look after it.
Liam could look after him now he's living here.
We don't know how long Liam's staying.
Can Mia sleep over tonight? No, because Liam has got the spare duvet.
- Have you get any more coffee beans? - Next week.
I haven't been shopping, just use instant.
I hate instant.
It's not fair, you don't let me have anything! I can't even be a vegetarian! Did you take my trainers back? Er, no, I haven't had time.
I'll do it at the weekend.
- We've got sports this afternoon.
- Well, use your old ones.
They're too small.
I got blisters last time I wore them.
You told me you were a size nine, so that's what I got you.
No, I didn't, I said my last pair were a nine.
You never listen! What? SHE EXHALES If you'd said we needed coffee beans, I could've picked some up.
I can't do everything.
I'm sick of trying to be bloody Superwoman.
Typical - there is no Superwoman.
It's Wonder Woman! I don't care who it is.
Stop it! Hey, do you know Lucy's passcode for her phone? - How would I know? - You know mine.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be able to read all my e-mails and texts.
Was the lovely Anne-Marie there last night? - Yeah, what's wrong with that? - Did you do lots of catching up? Can I just say, I do not read your e-mails She could use Tom's sleeping bag.
Lucy, no! Not tonight.
Look, we've got a lot on at the moment.
And for the record, I did not stop you becoming a vegetarian, - I just said - You don't care about what I think.
I've got stomach-ache.
Lucy, is there someone at school asking you to do something you don't want to do? No.
That's a really weird thing to say.
I know sometimes I'm really busy, but I don't want you to think that you can't tell me things, because you can.
I know that.
- I'm serious.
- She just trying to skive off.
I never say horrible things about you, so why do you have to say horrible things about me? - I hate all my family.
- Great, whatever.
Don't forget my trainers! And if you know what's good for you, you will get out of this car right now! For God's sake, Mum, chill out! MUSIC: Our Day Will Come by Amy Winehouse Yeah, yeah, it's the The ones with a funny webbing thing on the side.
Yeah, that's it, size ten.
SHE MOUTHS: Sorry.
Congratulations! Thank you! Well, if you could just pop them to one side for me.
Kate Dickenson.
Thank you.
Late night? Yeah, didn't get to sleep till after two.
Oh, yeah? - Rob was at a college reunion.
- You should've rung me.
I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.
How's Olivia? Oh, better since we've given up on the IVF.
Hopefully we can get back to enjoying sex again.
Oh, good to know, good to know.
The meeting's at 11, Pat's coming in to hold the fort, so just make sure you're there.
Meeting's at 11.
Right! Morning.
Morning, Talia.
Oh, I hear you did a birth registration yesterday.
Well done.
Thank you.
It was a bit scary, but I think I did all right.
Ah, you'll get used to it.
Would you mind taking these? Thank you.
Erm, it's a birth.
Right.
Morning.
Thank you.
Morning.
Sorry to keep you.
So who've we got here then? This Harry Lester Armitage.
Well, hello, Harry Lester Armitage! Aren't you a little bobby-dazzler?! - How old is he? - Oh, he were born two days ago.
So he's brand-new.
Oh, that's lovely.
Congratulations.
I take it you are his dad? I am, yeah.
I'm Simon Armitage.
Right, well, shall we head over? Look, I'll take all of this, don't worry.
Thank you, cheers.
Just take a seat.
So, where was he born? At St Thomas' Hospice.
His mum Jenny's in there.
I'm sorry to hear that.
That's why she's not here.
We unfortunately found out she'd got cervical cancer when she was three months pregnant.
I wanted her to think about a termination so she could get started on the treatment straight away, but she wouldn't.
I mean, you know, we were both really happy when we found out.
Well, she started with these pains and we just thought it was the baby growing at first and then she had her scan.
SHE EXHALES That must've been a big shock.
It was a bloody big shock, all right.
Right, well, shall we get started, then? Yeah.
So, are you and Jenny married? No, no, we could never afford it, there were all these things we had to buy.
But when the midwife put Harry in her arms she She said she'd wished we'd got married now, wishes we were a proper little family.
And it about bloody killed me because I'd have found the money from somewhere, you know, I would, but it's too late now.
How sick is she? Last time the doctor said it could be any time and, to be honest, they weren't even sure if she was going to last till the baby was born.
Erm Just excuse me for a minute.
I will be back.
Yeah, no problem.
Morning, Anna.
Oh, I might need you to do an RGL with me this afternoon.
What have you got on? - Oh, just the citizenship - Oh, shit, I forgot about that.
The lord and lady mayoress are coming in Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll sort something else out.
You all right? - I've just had a run-in with Judy.
- Oh.
She doesn't like what I'm wearing, she thinks it's inappropriate.
You look great, she's just a bit old school, that's all.
Maybe lose the Docs, though, if I were you.
- What size are you? - I'm a four.
I've got a spare pair of courts in my shoe locker.
What's she going to be like when they make her super? Well, we don't know if she's got it yet.
Of course she has, that's what this meeting's about.
I bet she'll make us wear a bloody uniform.
So then you just click "enter".
That should magically That's it, good.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I need the strongroom keys and they're not on the rack.
What do you want them for? I think I'm going to have to do an RGL this afternoon and I need to do a manual birth registration when I'm there.
Hang on a minute, just slow down and explain what's happening, please.
A new father's just come in to register the birth of his son and his partner's dying wish is to be married.
Right, OK.
Well, we can try and fit her in tomorrow.
Yeah, well, we don't know if she's got a tomorrow.
We've got the citizenship this afternoon.
Yeah, I know, but you and Anna could do that together.
Do we have a doctor's letter or? She's in St Thomas' Hospice, I think that speaks for itself.
We can just tell the GRO we've got it and get all the necessaries when we're there.
I don't think we can get a general licence that quickly.
Well, we've done it before, several times.
So, are you going to ring, or shall I? And do you know where the keys are? It's going to cause complete mayhem.
Talia, the keys are in the top drawer of my desk.
They should be on the rack.
People were forgetting to sign for them and at the end of the day, we are responsible for those certificates.
There's going to be a few changes around here after today.
- Hello, can I help you? - Hello, yes, it's Judy Fellows here, acting superintendent from the Greater Leeds office.
Kate! Kate! Hey, listen, I've got a really weird notice - interpreter Well, the lot.
And, well, I've got a gut feeling about it, but I just can't call it.
I'd appreciate a second opinion.
All right, well, I'm just dealing with an RGL just now - and then I'll be straight through.
- All right, thanks.
Right.
I'm back.
Sorry about that.
So, I'm just looking to see if we can do anything this afternoon.
Er, do what? Sorry.
We'll come to the hospice and register Harry's birth so that Jenny can be there and .
.
if it's possible, would you like us to marry you? Oh, my God! That would be amazing.
Can you do that? Well, I'll give it a damn good try.
- She is conscious, right? - Yeah, yeah.
Erm, I mean she drifts in and out sometimes when they give her morphine, but Right, well, if you just write your phone number down there and I'll keep you posted.
You're going to need proof of identity, like a passport or a birth certificate, proof of address, a gas or electric bill.
Yeah, well, I mean, we've got plenty of them.
Wow.
- There's me number.
- I'll be in touch.
You literally don't know what this means to me.
Well, to us.
I mean Thank you.
Thank you so much.
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER Can I just say, if you all speak at the same time, I can't understand a word you're saying.
So just slow it down, one at a time, then I'll be able Sorry, I was just waiting to see if we could get the licence.
So, what's going on here, then? Right, this is Kate, everyone, she's our senior registrar.
SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE This is Amir, Kristina, they've come to give their notice of intention to marry.
Kristina doesn't speak English so this lady Dominica.
I'm here to interpret and explain everything.
OK.
This is Amir's cousin.
Ramin.
Hi.
Right.
I've got here Amir's Iranian passport, his student visa Mm-hm.
.
.
utility bill and Kristina's ID, and that's as far as we've got.
OK.
Right.
So, what are you studying, Amir? Business, but it's only part time.
I see.
So, is it a good course? I think so, yes.
Is it a degree or a diploma? A degree.
Diploma.
Well, which is it? Degree.
Sorry, sometimes I get confused with the language.
And how did you meet the lovely Kristina? My cousin introduced me to her.
She worked for him in his restaurant.
And did you like working in the restaurant, Kristina? SHE SPEAKS SLOVENIAN Yes.
She liked it very much, but now, as you see, she is pregnant and the smell of food makes her feel sick.
Thank you for that.
If you could just interpret exactly what she says to me and what I say back to her without adding anything? Of course.
So, does Kristina speak any English? Hardly any.
None.
Or Iranian? Just a few words.
So, do you speak Slovenian? I can say "I love you".
Well go on, then.
Uh, ljubim te.
Did Kristina understand or actually hear any of that? Yes.
Yeah.
Er, OK, you you do know that you only have a few weeks left on your student visa, Amir? Yes, but I knew we were going to marry, so You thought you wouldn't bother because Kristina being Slovenian entitles you to a residency permit as a family member, yes? Yes.
Ah, right.
And you're currently both living at 17 Copperfield Road? Yes.
Da.
Oh, she understood that? She knows the address.
Right.
SHE CLEARS HER THROA I've just got one question.
If neither of you speak each other's language, how do you communicate? Oh, we speak the language of love.
Oh.
See? Aw, that's lovely.
That's nice.
Also, sometimes, we use the translator on our phones.
OK, well, there's a few more things that we need to check out before we register your formal intention to marry.
Is this because we're Iranian? No, it's because we need to make absolutely sure that Amir and Kristina are marrying for the right reasons.
Well, who are you to make those decisions? I'm a senior registrar and it's my job to make those decisions.
I'll organise a home visit, and then you're going to have to make another appointment.
Why is that? My cousin and Kristina want to marry before the baby is born.
We also have to abide by the rules of the 2014 Immigration Act, but we will push things along as fast as we can.
OK? Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming in.
DOMINICA AND KRISTINE SPEAK IN SLOVENIAN SIGHS Sorry.
I just could not call that one.
She didn't really look like a pregnant bride-to-be, did she? And I'm not convinced that she couldn't at least speak some English.
Yeah.
So, I think I might have an RGL this afternoon.
Do you think you could do it with me? Can't, I've got a birth, two notices and a civil partnership later.
Oh, bugger.
Yep.
Oh, can you really do it? That would be amazing.
I just need to let her mam and dad know and, er, you know, get a suit and er, the things that you asked me for.
Uh-huh.
OK.
Well, will two o'clock be OK? Perfect.
SHE EXHALES .
.
long time since I've been to a citizenship.
Sorry, I was just sorting out a hospice birth registration and marriage for this afternoon.
No problem.
Take a seat.
Well, you're probably all thinking, "What the hell is the PO doing here? "He doesn't usually grace us with his presence!" LAUGHTER But Well, I'm sure you all know that Pat's retired, and we've been searching for her replacement.
Judy has been doing a sterling job filling in as Superintendent while we've been searching.
That in mind, we decided to promote from within, and combine the jobs of service manager and superintendent registrar.
WHISPERS: Judy's going to be service manager as well? And I'm very pleased to be able to tell you that Kate is stepping into Pat's shoes, as well as taking on the responsibilities of service manager.
Oh, that's brilliant! Speech! If you'd like to say a few words, Kate? Er Thank you, Matthew! Um I know I'm a bit of a risky choice for this, so thank you very much for having faith in me.
I just hope that I can live up to your expectations.
I have a fantastic team of registrars and celebrants around this table to help modernise the service, so Well, if it all goes pear-shaped, it's going to be me that's fucked it up.
LAUGHTER And can I just say, as well, on behalf of the rest of the staff, massive congratulations to Kate, I think you've picked the right person.
And not to upstage Kate Er As we're all gathered here, um VOICE SHAKING: .
.
I'd just like to, er, take a moment Um Well, I know this might come as a bit of a shock to you all, but, erm .
.
as of next week .
.
I will be coming to work dressed as a woman.
QUIET LAUGHTER THROAT CLEARS LAUGHTER DIES Are you serious? SHE APPLAUDS Well, I think she's, er an interesting choice.
I mean, she's got her own way of going about things.
- That's not necessarily a bad thing.
- No, no.
I'm not saying it is.
But, er Now, of course, she's got James to deal with.
I mean, how are the public going to react? Well, I'm sure Kate will find No bride is going to want to be married by a man dressed in women's clothes but I'm pretty sure the same's going to go for people Oh, Talia, could you man the registration desk for a couple of hours this afternoon while they're doing the citizenship? - By myself? - She can't do it on her own.
Well, she's been here a month, she's got to start sometime.
Well, that's the rota completely out of the window.
I've got a couple in registration and they, erm .
.
they want to call their baby daughter Chlamydia.
It's got the same spelling and everything and I don't really know what to say to them.
LAUGHING: It's all right, I'll go.
James? Yeah.
That was a really brave thing you did in there, took a lot of guts.
I've been shittin' meself all morning.
Why didn't you come and talk to me? I just needed to work things through, you know, and make sure I were doing the right thing.
I've been seeing a counsellor for the past two years.
Are Sarah and the boys all right? Erm Not really, no.
Erm, I'll talk to you later.
I better go deal with Chlamydia's mum and dad.
- Yeah, I'll catch you later.
- All right.
Judy, could I have a quick word? Can we do it later? I've got to prepare for the citizenship.
That's all sorted.
It won't take a minute, shall we go to your office? Not really my office any more, is it? I'll, erm, move all my stuff out of here later.
You don't need to.
I mean, we can hot desk or I can work from that side and you could stay where you are.
I think I'd feel happier in my own space.
I'll clear my desk after work.
OK, well, whatever Look, I know you feel as if you've been passed over for this job I have and this has all come as a bit of a shock.
You knew, didn't you? I found out two days ago.
I hope it's not going to affect the way we work together, and I don't want this to undermine you and make you feel like you're not valued, because you are, and I'm really going to need your help if I'm going to pull this off.
I will do the very best I can, like I always have.
Thank you.
That it? Yeah, for now.
I wonder if they'd have given you the job if they knew you and Rick had sex in the strongroom.
What the hell are you talking about? You were caught on CCTV.
Well, if you're talking about the Christmas party It's a sackable offence.
I was a bit tipsy, we both were, and it wasn't sex.
It certainly looks like sex to me.
It was out of office hours.
In a highly confidential and sensitive area and you're both council employees.
Why wait till now to tell me? Tell you the truth, I forgot about it and then it just occurred to me when Matthew said you got the Super's job.
You liar.
Think what you want.
- What do you think she's going to do? - I have no idea, But I had this overwhelming desire to punch her in the fucking face.
Why was she looking through the CCTV footage anyway? I have no idea.
Do you think it'll still be on there? Yeah.
Yeah, I do, it could be on there for anything up to a year or more.
We've got to get in there and delete it.
What if she's made a copy? No, she won't have, she can't even work the photocopier.
It all makes sense now why she's been locking the strongroom keys in her drawer.
What a bitch.
It was out of office hours and that's what happens at work dos when you're pissed and it's Christmas and you've fancied someone for ages.
I didn't know that you'd fancied me for Come on, of course you did.
- Hi, I'm Kate, I'm the registrar.
- We're here to To marry my daughter and Simon, thank you so much.
Sorry, I didn't realise you were Her mum and, er, this is Jenny's dad.
Hello.
Phil.
Pleased to meet you.
And this is Rick, he's our deputy registrar.
Hiya.
Hi, thanks.
So, where are they? Jenny's just getting ready.
Her sister and one of the nurses are helping.
Fran's a bit upset cos Jenny won't take her medication.
Sorry.
She says she wants to remember and experience everything.
But she's in pain.
I know, love, but we can't force her to take it.
We've got to respect her wishes.
Yes, I know, I just can't bear to see her Well, we'll get on with it.
We'll do the wedding first and then we'll register little Harry.
Oh, that's great, that what she was hoping.
Oh.
The room looks gorgeous.
I can't believe you've done this so quickly.
Everyone's been running round, not me and the staff have been great as well.
Shall we get started, then? Right.
I'll go and get her.
Everything OK? Sound.
So, should I, erm, should I start the music now? Yeah.
Why not? MUSIC: Somewhere from West Side Story She played Maria in West Side Story when she was at college.
Oh! That's lovely.
Oh, and who are you? Elsa.
From Frozen.
Of course you are! You look beautiful.
This is Daisy, This is Jenny's niece.
Do you want to come and sit down over here with me? Do you want me to take him? Do you mind? There we go.
HARRY CRIES Time to learn, time to care Someday Somewhere We'll find a new way of living We'll find a way of forgiving.
Do you want to get her a seat? No, I'll just hold it, I don't want to sit down.
Well, it's with a mixture of emotions that we're gathered here today to witness the marriage of Simon Armitage and Jenny Brown.
Pleasure that this marriage will bring comfort to you both and to your families, and sadness that it'll only be for a short time.
I've only met Simon fleetingly, but I can see, without a shadow of a doubt, Jenny, that he is in love with you.
And I love him.
And I think it's plain for, for everyone to see that you have made the, well, the ultimate sacrifice by refusing to have treatment so that the baby from your union together lived.
So, er, if there is anyone here that knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage they should declare it now.
I, I'm just going to cut to the chase, because I'm aware that Jenny's standing and she's in pain.
So, I'd like you to repeat after me.
I call upon these persons here present.
I call upon these persons here present.
To witness that I, Jenny Brown.
To witness that I, Jenny Brown.
Do take thee, Simon Armitage, to be my lawful wedded husband.
Do take thee, Simon Armitage, to be my lawful wedded husband.
Today we welcome new citizens from China, Burma, Iran and Nigeria.
Now, no-one can really explain what it is to be British.
Some might say it's the love of hers truly.
Others might say it's freedom of speech or grumbling about the weather.
LAUGHTER So, I'd like to extend my hearty congratulations and welcome you all .
.
into our Great British family.
APPLAUSE Thank you, Lord Mayor and now to the official bit.
I'm not very good with words.
I get all tongue tied and that, but .
.
I guess I just wanted to say .
.
that I'm going to cherish every minute that we have left together.
You've given me two of the most precious things on this earth .
.
and that's your love and our little lad.
And I promise you HE SIGHS I promise you that I'm going to look after him.
I will.
I'm sorry, I can't really say any more.
Would you like to say anything, Jenny? Just that I'm so lucky I found you, cos you have made me so happy.
I just I wish we had more time together, but the time we've had has been beautiful and I'm so thankful I got to marry you.
RICK CLEARS THROA Giving of the wedding rings.
And now we come to the giving of the wedding rings.
You all right? I'd forgotten what a lovely service it is.
I know.
It always brings a lump to my throat.
Excuse me, will you take a photo of me and my - husband with the Lord Mayor? - Yeah, of course, yeah.
Thanks.
Come on, David Bailey, make it quick, I'm dying for a cuppa.
HE LAUGHS Hello, twice in one day.
Yes, today is also a special day for me.
Smile.
That's right.
Now you can take it.
SHUTTERS CLICK TWICE There you go.
Thank you very much.
Er, I took a couple.
Ah.
Fantastic.
So, when do you think my cousin will have his home visit? Well, I'm, er, I'm not sure, it's not down to us.
It's immigration that deals with that.
Will they let us know before they visit? Er, I think they do, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't swear to it, though.
Is your wife all right? Yeah, she's fine.
I've been a senior registrar now for 16 years and before that I was a deputy registrar for five and a half years, and before that I was a celebrant.
And you've been a credit to the service, Judy.
Thank you, but sometimes it doesn't feel like that.
You know, this is the second time I've been overlooked.
And I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like the right person had got the job, like Pat.
But I honestly believe Kate's not got the discipline to be a superintendent.
I won't keep you much longer, I know your time's precious.
It's all right.
I just need to know the full name of the baby's mother at the time of the birth.
I'm Jenny Armitage now I'm married.
I want the same name as Harry and Simon on the birth certificate.
Right.
Technically that's not accurate, she would've been Brown when the baby was born.
I want us all to have the same name.
Please.
Well, I'm not going to let a technicality get in the way of someone's dying wish.
Armitage it is.
Thank you.
And thank you for letting us be part of your beautiful wedding.
I think we can manage the rest between us.
Yeah, thank you.
We maybe should be getting her back to her room now, yeah? Yeah, OK.
PHONE RINGS Oh, I'm so sorry.
I thought I'd turned it off.
What's the matter? The schools rung, Lucy's ill.
Can you pick her up? Well, I'm in the middle of something Rob, can you not do it? No, I can't.
There's been a girl's body found in the canal.
We've only just started processing the scene.
Well, I'm at St Thomas Hospice, I'm doing a wedding and a birth registration.
Wh-what about Liam, can he not make himself useful? He doesn't know where the school is.
Well, tell him.
I'm busy, Rob.
I can't just leave.
CALL ENDS Maybe when you've only got a little time left, everything just falls into place and you absolutely know what it is you want in life.
Yeah, it seems like that.
They both knew what they wanted.
Nothing else mattered.
Maybe we're stressing about this CCTV thing, it's not that important in the scheme of things.
Well, if she's got footage of us in there, then she could get us both sacked.
We're intelligent people.
We'll get another job.
I don't want another job.
I love my job, especially now.
I could make real changes And what the hell would I tell Rob? "It wasn't me.
" It's not funny, Rick.
It could be more than our careers on the line.
I know it's not funny, it's not come to that yet.
You know using Jenny's married name on the birth certificate was wrong.
Yeah, I know.
Who's going to find out? Who gives a shit anyway? It mattered to her and that's what was important to me.
Rules are there to be broken, Rick.
If you say so, bring it on.
I'm all for that.
CAR STARTS Look, do you want to come back another time, cos like I say, once I register him, there's not really much we can do? Oh.
Kate! Everything all right? Yeah.
Me boyfriend's not turned up to register our baby boy.
- His phone's switched off.
- Well, does it have to be today? They've got another eight days.
Why don't you come back another time if you want his name to be on the birth certificate? He said he wanted to be.
He said that he loved him and he wanted to be a proper dad.
Well, I'd give him another chance, then, if I were you.
Thanks.
Aww, look.
Bye.
Bye.
Do you know, that's the second time she's been in.
Poor lass.
Listen.
I went to the Citizenship tea and cakes this afternoon.
Yes You'll never guess who was there? No idea.
It could be a long job, James.
Well, you know him that we saw this morning - his cousin, Ramin? Yeah.
Yeah, he was there with his English wife.
That's weird.
That's what I thought.
It could be the same set-up.
He married Marcia Benson three years ago.
He's 28, down as a restaurateur.
Was it straightforward or did it go through immigration? Well, it doesn't say.
I can look back at the file? Yeah, go on.
Strongroom keys are still not on the rack.
I think it's best if they're kept somewhere safe.
Well, they're safe and accessible on the rack where they belong, so can you put them back, please? Now.
Hello! I've brought you two feast number sixes to say thank you.
- Something for everyone.
- Wow.
Aww, you shouldn't have.
Can I just remind you, we're not supposed to accept gifts.
So then Ramin asks if immigration'll let him know when they're coming because his cousin sometimes works.
I thought you said he hadn't got a work visa? But it's not the Iranians that are bothering me.
It's Kristina, the young Slovenian girl.
Don't think she looks like a bride-to-be, like someone who'd found the love of her life.
She looked frightened to me.
Anyway, Ramin then got so flustered, him and his wife left in a hurry and he forgot his ID.
It's in the office.
It's Number 21.
Who's she? The next bride-to-be.
Stop it.
It's a nice house.
Must have some money.
DOORBELL RINGS KATE KNOCKS Oh, hi, er, Superintendent Kate Dickenson.
Registrar James McKenzie.
We met this afternoon.
- It's Marcia, isn't it? - Yeah, that's it.
How can I help you? Er Well, we were looking for your husband.
What for? Could we come in for a minute? I've just got some friends round at the minute.
Erm, has Ramin done something wrong? No, no, not at all.
Er Is everything all right? Oh! Oh! I didn't expect to see you here.
Why not? We're looking for Ramin.
Oh, as far as I know he's with Amir and some of his friends.
Celebrating getting his citizenship.
You're a busy bee.
You were interpreting for the bride this morning.
Yes, that's right.
I interpret for lots of Slovenian, Romanian and Russian brides-to-be.
Not that it's any of your business.
Who's the woman in the other room? That's a friend of mine, Lara, from Slovenia.
Do you have a problem with that? No, I was just This is clearly harassment and I know some very important people on the council Ah, so do we.
Where's Kristina? I have no idea.
With Amir, getting ready for her wedding, I should think.
Listen, I'm her interpreter, not her keeper, OK? Why are you being so defensive? I was just asking.
We are only here to return Ramin's driving licence, which he forgot to pick up after his citizenship.
Oh, thank you.
Our pleasure.
There's going to be other men looking to marry for a visa, that's for sure.
We've got to keep an open mind.
We could be wrong.
We're not.
And why is she not out celebrating with them? Maybe it's a cultural thing.
She came to the do.
Yeah, there is that.
She wasn't wearing a wedding ring, though.
You don't wear yours.
Well, I'm not married.
Really? God, you kept that quiet.
Well, it's not the sort of thing you shout about when you're a registrar, is it? I was going to marry Tom's dad.
We were engaged and everything .
.
but then he ran off with my sister when Tom was 18 months, so, that was that.
Nearly killed me.
So I left Carlisle and came down here and then I met Rob.
And it put you off getting married, did it? Well, he was still technically married.
I mean, they were separated but they were still living in the same house.
Yeah.
To be honest, I don't think I was really ready to commit.
So, tell me, is it going to be the full make-up and stilettos next week, then? No way.
I thought maybe a skirt and a blouse, jacket over the top Nice.
Do you reckon? Besides, I can't find any size 11 stilettos.
You can get them.
Yeah? Yes, I have seen them online.
Oh, just do me a favour, don't come to work in them, whatever you do.
HE LAUGHS I suppose I should've never got married and had kids.
Why not? I think deep down I always knew.
That's the problem.
I just I just kept thinking it'd go away after we got married, and then after me and Sarah had the boys, but it didn't.
TYRES SCREECH HORN BLARES Bloody hell! What the hell do you think you're doing, you stupid idiot! That idiot was in the road! Oh, my God! Simon?! HORN BEEPS Jeez, will you shut up?! Are you OK? Jenny died.
Oh Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Come on, let's get Let's get off the road.
HORN BEEPS Oh, shut up! I just closed my eyes.
I drifted off because I'd been I'd been awake all night.
When I opened 'em, she was gone.
Her whole life's ended.
Why? Maybe she thought everything was OK and it was the right time for her to go.
I still had things I wanted to say to her.
I love her.
I wanted to be with her, I wanted to hold her when she went.
Maybe it was the right time for Jenny.
Hmm? I pressed the emergency bell and they ran in and they tried to save her, they tried to bring her back.
I know.
Right, I'm going to get the pair of you in the car.
OK? Come on.
Shit.
God.
Life's short.
Yeah.
So no point buggering about if you think something's wrong.
Sarah says I've got to tell the boys tonight.
I really don't know where I'm going to start.
Just be truthful with them.
They might take it better than you think.
Yeah.
Listen, er I'm going to drop you off at home and I just need to nip back to the office.
Yeah.
Evening.
Evening.
LOCK BEEPS SHE SNIFFS AND EXHALES DOOR OPENS Don't worry, I've saved it onto a USB stick.
What the hell are you doing here at this time? Moving my stuff out of the Super's office.
Bit graphic, isn't it? What have I ever done to offend you? You've taken my job.
You been out celebrating? No, I I had to go back to work.
We had an RGL this afternoon and, er I thought they'd all be buying you a drink.
So how did it go? How did they take you getting Super? Yeah, they were all fine, except for Judy.
Yeah, but you expected that, right? Can't believe I ever felt sorry for that woman.
Did you get my trainers? Yes, they're in the boot of the car.
Don't say I never do anything for you.
How are you feeling? Still got a headache.
- Emily Johnson thinks Liam's fit.
- Where is he? He's meeting up with his girlfriend.
They're going to "talk".
Can you take your uniform off, please, Lucy? You're going to drop your dinner all down the front of it.
- Go and put your jammies on.
- I'm watching this.
Oh, come on, please, can you just do what you're told? I thought you were supposed to be ill.
MESSAGE ALERT TONE How about you? Did you find out who the girl in the canal was? Not yet.
We're still trying to get an ID on her.
- What are you doing? - Trying to get into Lucy's phone.
Well, her code's not her birthday.
- She'll go mental if she catches you.
- We need to monitor what's going on because she's got dodgy things popping up on her phone.
What kind of dodgy things? I don't know because I can't get into her phone.
They're grey.
Yeah, well, they were the only colour they had in your size.
I wanted black.
Oh Do you know what? I've I've had enough.
I won't wear 'em.
You ungrateful brat.
Give us 'em here.
SHE SIGHS I can't do it.
It's impossible.
I'll take his trainers back tomorrow and talk to Lucy about her phone.
It's not just that, it's everything.
You're always like this when you've done an RGL.
Come here.
She was only 27.
She'd given birth to a baby boy two days earlier.
And they'd always meant to get married, but they could never afford it.
Anyway .
.
she died this evening.
I'm sorry, love.
And she's never going to see her baby boy grow up.
Maybe knowing she had him will've brought her some comfort.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
There's other stuff too, at work.
Anything you want to share? No.
I can't.
I I want to, but I I can't.
It's just It's immigration stuff, another sham marriage.
Right.
Do you know, I started thinking today .
.
I might like to get married.
You always said Yes, I know, I know what I always said.
But I really got it today .
.
just seeing those two young people so desperate to commit to each other.
Marriage means something, Rob, and it's real and it's not just for a visa.
Yeah.
If anything ever happened to either of us, Rob, I would just want us to be married.
I mean, we don't need to if you don't want to 'Course I want to marry you, you daft bat.
Shall we tell the kids? Why not? Right, I'll go and round 'em up.
Be down in a minute.
Lucy! Tom! What do you want? Me and your mam've got something to tell you! PHONE CHIMES FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS Kate? James is here.
James? He's in a bit of a state.
What's the matter with him? I couldn't do it.
I couldn't tell 'em.
So Sarah, she asked me to leave.
I hope you don't mind.
Not at all.
I just I had nowhere else to go.
You can stay with us until you sort something out.
I'm so sorry.
It's OK.
Hey Hey, come on, it's OK.
I always thought you were married.
There's hope for me yet, then.
You've got a skirt on.
Yeah, I'm on a journey.
Do you need help? Yeah.
Where did you get the ring? A girl at school.
I'm going to send him a copy of the tape and we'll see if he still thinks you're such a golden girl then.
Love, Lies & Records 1x01 Rob? Rob, is that you? DOOR RATTLES DOOR RATTLES SHE WHISPERS: Hi, is that the police? Yeah, erm, a man's just tried to get into my house and now he's heading round towards the garage.
Yeah, it's just that I'm at home alone with my two kids.
My husband's at a college reunion Sorry, it's just I'm in a bit of a panic.
It's Kate Dickenson.
It's 38 Springbank Road, and, please, can you get here as quickly as you can? And what makes you think he's an intruder? Because I've just heard him trying the door handle of my house.
He is in my garden right now, trespassing on my property! SHE GASPS He's coming out of the garage and he's heading towards the house again.
Do you know what? Forget it, I've just found my husband's gun.
I'll deal with it myself.
Who is it, Mum? I don't know, just go back to bed! Mum? Both of you, go back to bed! GROANING Kate, it's me! GROANING SIRENS BLARE For God's sake! What the hell do you think you are doing? You've broken me bloody hand! Yeah, well, you were lucky it wasn't your head! Mrs Dickenson, where's the gun? I decided not to use it.
Actually, I just said that to get you here.
You do know it's against the law to give wrong information? Yeah, as it happens, this is my stepson, Liam.
Hiya.
Dad's back.
I couldn't find the key, it wasn't where Dad said it was.
Well, he could've been a mass murderer.
What's going on? Your son decided to break into our house.
The keys weren't on top of the tyres.
I thought he was an intruder and I called the police.
It's my fault, I told him not to wake you - because you had a big day tomorrow.
- Well, no, this morning! Can I ask, have you got a licence for your gun, sir? What gun? I don't have a gun.
For God's sake, I'm in the force.
I'm a DS over at Westfield.
And what the hell's all this about a gun? Yeah, I can I can explain that.
I don't think any of them are broken, you wouldn't be able to move them.
I think they're probably just badly bruised.
Go on.
So what did your mother say when you told her you were staying with me? Nothing.
You didn't tell her, did you? She won't be bothered.
She told me to piss off and never come back.
Liam! She said she never wanted to see me again.
You know what she's like, she says things she doesn't mean.
And she gave up a lot so you could go to uni.
You can't just walk out because your girlfriend's fallen out with you.
- You can't just throw it away.
- I'm not throwing anything away.
Well, if she loves you, she'll still be there for you when you finish at Bristol.
I don't give a shit about my degree.
I'm not going back.
Right, that's enough, we'll talk about it tomorrow.
You get some sleep.
I'll text Gill and let her know he's all right and pull the bed out in Tom's room for him.
There's a spare duvet in Lucy's wardrobe, I'll go and get it.
Kate .
.
I'm sorry I frightened you.
I'm sorry I whacked your hand.
MOBILE BEEPS MOBILE BEEPS Can we have a dog? How many times do I have to tell you? It wouldn't be fair on the dog, there's no-one to look after it.
Liam could look after him now he's living here.
We don't know how long Liam's staying.
Can Mia sleep over tonight? No, because Liam has got the spare duvet.
- Have you get any more coffee beans? - Next week.
I haven't been shopping, just use instant.
I hate instant.
It's not fair, you don't let me have anything! I can't even be a vegetarian! Did you take my trainers back? Er, no, I haven't had time.
I'll do it at the weekend.
- We've got sports this afternoon.
- Well, use your old ones.
They're too small.
I got blisters last time I wore them.
You told me you were a size nine, so that's what I got you.
No, I didn't, I said my last pair were a nine.
You never listen! What? SHE EXHALES If you'd said we needed coffee beans, I could've picked some up.
I can't do everything.
I'm sick of trying to be bloody Superwoman.
Typical - there is no Superwoman.
It's Wonder Woman! I don't care who it is.
Stop it! Hey, do you know Lucy's passcode for her phone? - How would I know? - You know mine.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be able to read all my e-mails and texts.
Was the lovely Anne-Marie there last night? - Yeah, what's wrong with that? - Did you do lots of catching up? Can I just say, I do not read your e-mails She could use Tom's sleeping bag.
Lucy, no! Not tonight.
Look, we've got a lot on at the moment.
And for the record, I did not stop you becoming a vegetarian, - I just said - You don't care about what I think.
I've got stomach-ache.
Lucy, is there someone at school asking you to do something you don't want to do? No.
That's a really weird thing to say.
I know sometimes I'm really busy, but I don't want you to think that you can't tell me things, because you can.
I know that.
- I'm serious.
- She just trying to skive off.
I never say horrible things about you, so why do you have to say horrible things about me? - I hate all my family.
- Great, whatever.
Don't forget my trainers! And if you know what's good for you, you will get out of this car right now! For God's sake, Mum, chill out! MUSIC: Our Day Will Come by Amy Winehouse Yeah, yeah, it's the The ones with a funny webbing thing on the side.
Yeah, that's it, size ten.
SHE MOUTHS: Sorry.
Congratulations! Thank you! Well, if you could just pop them to one side for me.
Kate Dickenson.
Thank you.
Late night? Yeah, didn't get to sleep till after two.
Oh, yeah? - Rob was at a college reunion.
- You should've rung me.
I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.
How's Olivia? Oh, better since we've given up on the IVF.
Hopefully we can get back to enjoying sex again.
Oh, good to know, good to know.
The meeting's at 11, Pat's coming in to hold the fort, so just make sure you're there.
Meeting's at 11.
Right! Morning.
Morning, Talia.
Oh, I hear you did a birth registration yesterday.
Well done.
Thank you.
It was a bit scary, but I think I did all right.
Ah, you'll get used to it.
Would you mind taking these? Thank you.
Erm, it's a birth.
Right.
Morning.
Thank you.
Morning.
Sorry to keep you.
So who've we got here then? This Harry Lester Armitage.
Well, hello, Harry Lester Armitage! Aren't you a little bobby-dazzler?! - How old is he? - Oh, he were born two days ago.
So he's brand-new.
Oh, that's lovely.
Congratulations.
I take it you are his dad? I am, yeah.
I'm Simon Armitage.
Right, well, shall we head over? Look, I'll take all of this, don't worry.
Thank you, cheers.
Just take a seat.
So, where was he born? At St Thomas' Hospice.
His mum Jenny's in there.
I'm sorry to hear that.
That's why she's not here.
We unfortunately found out she'd got cervical cancer when she was three months pregnant.
I wanted her to think about a termination so she could get started on the treatment straight away, but she wouldn't.
I mean, you know, we were both really happy when we found out.
Well, she started with these pains and we just thought it was the baby growing at first and then she had her scan.
SHE EXHALES That must've been a big shock.
It was a bloody big shock, all right.
Right, well, shall we get started, then? Yeah.
So, are you and Jenny married? No, no, we could never afford it, there were all these things we had to buy.
But when the midwife put Harry in her arms she She said she'd wished we'd got married now, wishes we were a proper little family.
And it about bloody killed me because I'd have found the money from somewhere, you know, I would, but it's too late now.
How sick is she? Last time the doctor said it could be any time and, to be honest, they weren't even sure if she was going to last till the baby was born.
Erm Just excuse me for a minute.
I will be back.
Yeah, no problem.
Morning, Anna.
Oh, I might need you to do an RGL with me this afternoon.
What have you got on? - Oh, just the citizenship - Oh, shit, I forgot about that.
The lord and lady mayoress are coming in Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll sort something else out.
You all right? - I've just had a run-in with Judy.
- Oh.
She doesn't like what I'm wearing, she thinks it's inappropriate.
You look great, she's just a bit old school, that's all.
Maybe lose the Docs, though, if I were you.
- What size are you? - I'm a four.
I've got a spare pair of courts in my shoe locker.
What's she going to be like when they make her super? Well, we don't know if she's got it yet.
Of course she has, that's what this meeting's about.
I bet she'll make us wear a bloody uniform.
So then you just click "enter".
That should magically That's it, good.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I need the strongroom keys and they're not on the rack.
What do you want them for? I think I'm going to have to do an RGL this afternoon and I need to do a manual birth registration when I'm there.
Hang on a minute, just slow down and explain what's happening, please.
A new father's just come in to register the birth of his son and his partner's dying wish is to be married.
Right, OK.
Well, we can try and fit her in tomorrow.
Yeah, well, we don't know if she's got a tomorrow.
We've got the citizenship this afternoon.
Yeah, I know, but you and Anna could do that together.
Do we have a doctor's letter or? She's in St Thomas' Hospice, I think that speaks for itself.
We can just tell the GRO we've got it and get all the necessaries when we're there.
I don't think we can get a general licence that quickly.
Well, we've done it before, several times.
So, are you going to ring, or shall I? And do you know where the keys are? It's going to cause complete mayhem.
Talia, the keys are in the top drawer of my desk.
They should be on the rack.
People were forgetting to sign for them and at the end of the day, we are responsible for those certificates.
There's going to be a few changes around here after today.
- Hello, can I help you? - Hello, yes, it's Judy Fellows here, acting superintendent from the Greater Leeds office.
Kate! Kate! Hey, listen, I've got a really weird notice - interpreter Well, the lot.
And, well, I've got a gut feeling about it, but I just can't call it.
I'd appreciate a second opinion.
All right, well, I'm just dealing with an RGL just now - and then I'll be straight through.
- All right, thanks.
Right.
I'm back.
Sorry about that.
So, I'm just looking to see if we can do anything this afternoon.
Er, do what? Sorry.
We'll come to the hospice and register Harry's birth so that Jenny can be there and .
.
if it's possible, would you like us to marry you? Oh, my God! That would be amazing.
Can you do that? Well, I'll give it a damn good try.
- She is conscious, right? - Yeah, yeah.
Erm, I mean she drifts in and out sometimes when they give her morphine, but Right, well, if you just write your phone number down there and I'll keep you posted.
You're going to need proof of identity, like a passport or a birth certificate, proof of address, a gas or electric bill.
Yeah, well, I mean, we've got plenty of them.
Wow.
- There's me number.
- I'll be in touch.
You literally don't know what this means to me.
Well, to us.
I mean Thank you.
Thank you so much.
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER Can I just say, if you all speak at the same time, I can't understand a word you're saying.
So just slow it down, one at a time, then I'll be able Sorry, I was just waiting to see if we could get the licence.
So, what's going on here, then? Right, this is Kate, everyone, she's our senior registrar.
SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE This is Amir, Kristina, they've come to give their notice of intention to marry.
Kristina doesn't speak English so this lady Dominica.
I'm here to interpret and explain everything.
OK.
This is Amir's cousin.
Ramin.
Hi.
Right.
I've got here Amir's Iranian passport, his student visa Mm-hm.
.
.
utility bill and Kristina's ID, and that's as far as we've got.
OK.
Right.
So, what are you studying, Amir? Business, but it's only part time.
I see.
So, is it a good course? I think so, yes.
Is it a degree or a diploma? A degree.
Diploma.
Well, which is it? Degree.
Sorry, sometimes I get confused with the language.
And how did you meet the lovely Kristina? My cousin introduced me to her.
She worked for him in his restaurant.
And did you like working in the restaurant, Kristina? SHE SPEAKS SLOVENIAN Yes.
She liked it very much, but now, as you see, she is pregnant and the smell of food makes her feel sick.
Thank you for that.
If you could just interpret exactly what she says to me and what I say back to her without adding anything? Of course.
So, does Kristina speak any English? Hardly any.
None.
Or Iranian? Just a few words.
So, do you speak Slovenian? I can say "I love you".
Well go on, then.
Uh, ljubim te.
Did Kristina understand or actually hear any of that? Yes.
Yeah.
Er, OK, you you do know that you only have a few weeks left on your student visa, Amir? Yes, but I knew we were going to marry, so You thought you wouldn't bother because Kristina being Slovenian entitles you to a residency permit as a family member, yes? Yes.
Ah, right.
And you're currently both living at 17 Copperfield Road? Yes.
Da.
Oh, she understood that? She knows the address.
Right.
SHE CLEARS HER THROA I've just got one question.
If neither of you speak each other's language, how do you communicate? Oh, we speak the language of love.
Oh.
See? Aw, that's lovely.
That's nice.
Also, sometimes, we use the translator on our phones.
OK, well, there's a few more things that we need to check out before we register your formal intention to marry.
Is this because we're Iranian? No, it's because we need to make absolutely sure that Amir and Kristina are marrying for the right reasons.
Well, who are you to make those decisions? I'm a senior registrar and it's my job to make those decisions.
I'll organise a home visit, and then you're going to have to make another appointment.
Why is that? My cousin and Kristina want to marry before the baby is born.
We also have to abide by the rules of the 2014 Immigration Act, but we will push things along as fast as we can.
OK? Thank you very much for your time.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming in.
DOMINICA AND KRISTINE SPEAK IN SLOVENIAN SIGHS Sorry.
I just could not call that one.
She didn't really look like a pregnant bride-to-be, did she? And I'm not convinced that she couldn't at least speak some English.
Yeah.
So, I think I might have an RGL this afternoon.
Do you think you could do it with me? Can't, I've got a birth, two notices and a civil partnership later.
Oh, bugger.
Yep.
Oh, can you really do it? That would be amazing.
I just need to let her mam and dad know and, er, you know, get a suit and er, the things that you asked me for.
Uh-huh.
OK.
Well, will two o'clock be OK? Perfect.
SHE EXHALES .
.
long time since I've been to a citizenship.
Sorry, I was just sorting out a hospice birth registration and marriage for this afternoon.
No problem.
Take a seat.
Well, you're probably all thinking, "What the hell is the PO doing here? "He doesn't usually grace us with his presence!" LAUGHTER But Well, I'm sure you all know that Pat's retired, and we've been searching for her replacement.
Judy has been doing a sterling job filling in as Superintendent while we've been searching.
That in mind, we decided to promote from within, and combine the jobs of service manager and superintendent registrar.
WHISPERS: Judy's going to be service manager as well? And I'm very pleased to be able to tell you that Kate is stepping into Pat's shoes, as well as taking on the responsibilities of service manager.
Oh, that's brilliant! Speech! If you'd like to say a few words, Kate? Er Thank you, Matthew! Um I know I'm a bit of a risky choice for this, so thank you very much for having faith in me.
I just hope that I can live up to your expectations.
I have a fantastic team of registrars and celebrants around this table to help modernise the service, so Well, if it all goes pear-shaped, it's going to be me that's fucked it up.
LAUGHTER And can I just say, as well, on behalf of the rest of the staff, massive congratulations to Kate, I think you've picked the right person.
And not to upstage Kate Er As we're all gathered here, um VOICE SHAKING: .
.
I'd just like to, er, take a moment Um Well, I know this might come as a bit of a shock to you all, but, erm .
.
as of next week .
.
I will be coming to work dressed as a woman.
QUIET LAUGHTER THROAT CLEARS LAUGHTER DIES Are you serious? SHE APPLAUDS Well, I think she's, er an interesting choice.
I mean, she's got her own way of going about things.
- That's not necessarily a bad thing.
- No, no.
I'm not saying it is.
But, er Now, of course, she's got James to deal with.
I mean, how are the public going to react? Well, I'm sure Kate will find No bride is going to want to be married by a man dressed in women's clothes but I'm pretty sure the same's going to go for people Oh, Talia, could you man the registration desk for a couple of hours this afternoon while they're doing the citizenship? - By myself? - She can't do it on her own.
Well, she's been here a month, she's got to start sometime.
Well, that's the rota completely out of the window.
I've got a couple in registration and they, erm .
.
they want to call their baby daughter Chlamydia.
It's got the same spelling and everything and I don't really know what to say to them.
LAUGHING: It's all right, I'll go.
James? Yeah.
That was a really brave thing you did in there, took a lot of guts.
I've been shittin' meself all morning.
Why didn't you come and talk to me? I just needed to work things through, you know, and make sure I were doing the right thing.
I've been seeing a counsellor for the past two years.
Are Sarah and the boys all right? Erm Not really, no.
Erm, I'll talk to you later.
I better go deal with Chlamydia's mum and dad.
- Yeah, I'll catch you later.
- All right.
Judy, could I have a quick word? Can we do it later? I've got to prepare for the citizenship.
That's all sorted.
It won't take a minute, shall we go to your office? Not really my office any more, is it? I'll, erm, move all my stuff out of here later.
You don't need to.
I mean, we can hot desk or I can work from that side and you could stay where you are.
I think I'd feel happier in my own space.
I'll clear my desk after work.
OK, well, whatever Look, I know you feel as if you've been passed over for this job I have and this has all come as a bit of a shock.
You knew, didn't you? I found out two days ago.
I hope it's not going to affect the way we work together, and I don't want this to undermine you and make you feel like you're not valued, because you are, and I'm really going to need your help if I'm going to pull this off.
I will do the very best I can, like I always have.
Thank you.
That it? Yeah, for now.
I wonder if they'd have given you the job if they knew you and Rick had sex in the strongroom.
What the hell are you talking about? You were caught on CCTV.
Well, if you're talking about the Christmas party It's a sackable offence.
I was a bit tipsy, we both were, and it wasn't sex.
It certainly looks like sex to me.
It was out of office hours.
In a highly confidential and sensitive area and you're both council employees.
Why wait till now to tell me? Tell you the truth, I forgot about it and then it just occurred to me when Matthew said you got the Super's job.
You liar.
Think what you want.
- What do you think she's going to do? - I have no idea, But I had this overwhelming desire to punch her in the fucking face.
Why was she looking through the CCTV footage anyway? I have no idea.
Do you think it'll still be on there? Yeah.
Yeah, I do, it could be on there for anything up to a year or more.
We've got to get in there and delete it.
What if she's made a copy? No, she won't have, she can't even work the photocopier.
It all makes sense now why she's been locking the strongroom keys in her drawer.
What a bitch.
It was out of office hours and that's what happens at work dos when you're pissed and it's Christmas and you've fancied someone for ages.
I didn't know that you'd fancied me for Come on, of course you did.
- Hi, I'm Kate, I'm the registrar.
- We're here to To marry my daughter and Simon, thank you so much.
Sorry, I didn't realise you were Her mum and, er, this is Jenny's dad.
Hello.
Phil.
Pleased to meet you.
And this is Rick, he's our deputy registrar.
Hiya.
Hi, thanks.
So, where are they? Jenny's just getting ready.
Her sister and one of the nurses are helping.
Fran's a bit upset cos Jenny won't take her medication.
Sorry.
She says she wants to remember and experience everything.
But she's in pain.
I know, love, but we can't force her to take it.
We've got to respect her wishes.
Yes, I know, I just can't bear to see her Well, we'll get on with it.
We'll do the wedding first and then we'll register little Harry.
Oh, that's great, that what she was hoping.
Oh.
The room looks gorgeous.
I can't believe you've done this so quickly.
Everyone's been running round, not me and the staff have been great as well.
Shall we get started, then? Right.
I'll go and get her.
Everything OK? Sound.
So, should I, erm, should I start the music now? Yeah.
Why not? MUSIC: Somewhere from West Side Story She played Maria in West Side Story when she was at college.
Oh! That's lovely.
Oh, and who are you? Elsa.
From Frozen.
Of course you are! You look beautiful.
This is Daisy, This is Jenny's niece.
Do you want to come and sit down over here with me? Do you want me to take him? Do you mind? There we go.
HARRY CRIES Time to learn, time to care Someday Somewhere We'll find a new way of living We'll find a way of forgiving.
Do you want to get her a seat? No, I'll just hold it, I don't want to sit down.
Well, it's with a mixture of emotions that we're gathered here today to witness the marriage of Simon Armitage and Jenny Brown.
Pleasure that this marriage will bring comfort to you both and to your families, and sadness that it'll only be for a short time.
I've only met Simon fleetingly, but I can see, without a shadow of a doubt, Jenny, that he is in love with you.
And I love him.
And I think it's plain for, for everyone to see that you have made the, well, the ultimate sacrifice by refusing to have treatment so that the baby from your union together lived.
So, er, if there is anyone here that knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage they should declare it now.
I, I'm just going to cut to the chase, because I'm aware that Jenny's standing and she's in pain.
So, I'd like you to repeat after me.
I call upon these persons here present.
I call upon these persons here present.
To witness that I, Jenny Brown.
To witness that I, Jenny Brown.
Do take thee, Simon Armitage, to be my lawful wedded husband.
Do take thee, Simon Armitage, to be my lawful wedded husband.
Today we welcome new citizens from China, Burma, Iran and Nigeria.
Now, no-one can really explain what it is to be British.
Some might say it's the love of hers truly.
Others might say it's freedom of speech or grumbling about the weather.
LAUGHTER So, I'd like to extend my hearty congratulations and welcome you all .
.
into our Great British family.
APPLAUSE Thank you, Lord Mayor and now to the official bit.
I'm not very good with words.
I get all tongue tied and that, but .
.
I guess I just wanted to say .
.
that I'm going to cherish every minute that we have left together.
You've given me two of the most precious things on this earth .
.
and that's your love and our little lad.
And I promise you HE SIGHS I promise you that I'm going to look after him.
I will.
I'm sorry, I can't really say any more.
Would you like to say anything, Jenny? Just that I'm so lucky I found you, cos you have made me so happy.
I just I wish we had more time together, but the time we've had has been beautiful and I'm so thankful I got to marry you.
RICK CLEARS THROA Giving of the wedding rings.
And now we come to the giving of the wedding rings.
You all right? I'd forgotten what a lovely service it is.
I know.
It always brings a lump to my throat.
Excuse me, will you take a photo of me and my - husband with the Lord Mayor? - Yeah, of course, yeah.
Thanks.
Come on, David Bailey, make it quick, I'm dying for a cuppa.
HE LAUGHS Hello, twice in one day.
Yes, today is also a special day for me.
Smile.
That's right.
Now you can take it.
SHUTTERS CLICK TWICE There you go.
Thank you very much.
Er, I took a couple.
Ah.
Fantastic.
So, when do you think my cousin will have his home visit? Well, I'm, er, I'm not sure, it's not down to us.
It's immigration that deals with that.
Will they let us know before they visit? Er, I think they do, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't swear to it, though.
Is your wife all right? Yeah, she's fine.
I've been a senior registrar now for 16 years and before that I was a deputy registrar for five and a half years, and before that I was a celebrant.
And you've been a credit to the service, Judy.
Thank you, but sometimes it doesn't feel like that.
You know, this is the second time I've been overlooked.
And I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like the right person had got the job, like Pat.
But I honestly believe Kate's not got the discipline to be a superintendent.
I won't keep you much longer, I know your time's precious.
It's all right.
I just need to know the full name of the baby's mother at the time of the birth.
I'm Jenny Armitage now I'm married.
I want the same name as Harry and Simon on the birth certificate.
Right.
Technically that's not accurate, she would've been Brown when the baby was born.
I want us all to have the same name.
Please.
Well, I'm not going to let a technicality get in the way of someone's dying wish.
Armitage it is.
Thank you.
And thank you for letting us be part of your beautiful wedding.
I think we can manage the rest between us.
Yeah, thank you.
We maybe should be getting her back to her room now, yeah? Yeah, OK.
PHONE RINGS Oh, I'm so sorry.
I thought I'd turned it off.
What's the matter? The schools rung, Lucy's ill.
Can you pick her up? Well, I'm in the middle of something Rob, can you not do it? No, I can't.
There's been a girl's body found in the canal.
We've only just started processing the scene.
Well, I'm at St Thomas Hospice, I'm doing a wedding and a birth registration.
Wh-what about Liam, can he not make himself useful? He doesn't know where the school is.
Well, tell him.
I'm busy, Rob.
I can't just leave.
CALL ENDS Maybe when you've only got a little time left, everything just falls into place and you absolutely know what it is you want in life.
Yeah, it seems like that.
They both knew what they wanted.
Nothing else mattered.
Maybe we're stressing about this CCTV thing, it's not that important in the scheme of things.
Well, if she's got footage of us in there, then she could get us both sacked.
We're intelligent people.
We'll get another job.
I don't want another job.
I love my job, especially now.
I could make real changes And what the hell would I tell Rob? "It wasn't me.
" It's not funny, Rick.
It could be more than our careers on the line.
I know it's not funny, it's not come to that yet.
You know using Jenny's married name on the birth certificate was wrong.
Yeah, I know.
Who's going to find out? Who gives a shit anyway? It mattered to her and that's what was important to me.
Rules are there to be broken, Rick.
If you say so, bring it on.
I'm all for that.
CAR STARTS Look, do you want to come back another time, cos like I say, once I register him, there's not really much we can do? Oh.
Kate! Everything all right? Yeah.
Me boyfriend's not turned up to register our baby boy.
- His phone's switched off.
- Well, does it have to be today? They've got another eight days.
Why don't you come back another time if you want his name to be on the birth certificate? He said he wanted to be.
He said that he loved him and he wanted to be a proper dad.
Well, I'd give him another chance, then, if I were you.
Thanks.
Aww, look.
Bye.
Bye.
Do you know, that's the second time she's been in.
Poor lass.
Listen.
I went to the Citizenship tea and cakes this afternoon.
Yes You'll never guess who was there? No idea.
It could be a long job, James.
Well, you know him that we saw this morning - his cousin, Ramin? Yeah.
Yeah, he was there with his English wife.
That's weird.
That's what I thought.
It could be the same set-up.
He married Marcia Benson three years ago.
He's 28, down as a restaurateur.
Was it straightforward or did it go through immigration? Well, it doesn't say.
I can look back at the file? Yeah, go on.
Strongroom keys are still not on the rack.
I think it's best if they're kept somewhere safe.
Well, they're safe and accessible on the rack where they belong, so can you put them back, please? Now.
Hello! I've brought you two feast number sixes to say thank you.
- Something for everyone.
- Wow.
Aww, you shouldn't have.
Can I just remind you, we're not supposed to accept gifts.
So then Ramin asks if immigration'll let him know when they're coming because his cousin sometimes works.
I thought you said he hadn't got a work visa? But it's not the Iranians that are bothering me.
It's Kristina, the young Slovenian girl.
Don't think she looks like a bride-to-be, like someone who'd found the love of her life.
She looked frightened to me.
Anyway, Ramin then got so flustered, him and his wife left in a hurry and he forgot his ID.
It's in the office.
It's Number 21.
Who's she? The next bride-to-be.
Stop it.
It's a nice house.
Must have some money.
DOORBELL RINGS KATE KNOCKS Oh, hi, er, Superintendent Kate Dickenson.
Registrar James McKenzie.
We met this afternoon.
- It's Marcia, isn't it? - Yeah, that's it.
How can I help you? Er Well, we were looking for your husband.
What for? Could we come in for a minute? I've just got some friends round at the minute.
Erm, has Ramin done something wrong? No, no, not at all.
Er Is everything all right? Oh! Oh! I didn't expect to see you here.
Why not? We're looking for Ramin.
Oh, as far as I know he's with Amir and some of his friends.
Celebrating getting his citizenship.
You're a busy bee.
You were interpreting for the bride this morning.
Yes, that's right.
I interpret for lots of Slovenian, Romanian and Russian brides-to-be.
Not that it's any of your business.
Who's the woman in the other room? That's a friend of mine, Lara, from Slovenia.
Do you have a problem with that? No, I was just This is clearly harassment and I know some very important people on the council Ah, so do we.
Where's Kristina? I have no idea.
With Amir, getting ready for her wedding, I should think.
Listen, I'm her interpreter, not her keeper, OK? Why are you being so defensive? I was just asking.
We are only here to return Ramin's driving licence, which he forgot to pick up after his citizenship.
Oh, thank you.
Our pleasure.
There's going to be other men looking to marry for a visa, that's for sure.
We've got to keep an open mind.
We could be wrong.
We're not.
And why is she not out celebrating with them? Maybe it's a cultural thing.
She came to the do.
Yeah, there is that.
She wasn't wearing a wedding ring, though.
You don't wear yours.
Well, I'm not married.
Really? God, you kept that quiet.
Well, it's not the sort of thing you shout about when you're a registrar, is it? I was going to marry Tom's dad.
We were engaged and everything .
.
but then he ran off with my sister when Tom was 18 months, so, that was that.
Nearly killed me.
So I left Carlisle and came down here and then I met Rob.
And it put you off getting married, did it? Well, he was still technically married.
I mean, they were separated but they were still living in the same house.
Yeah.
To be honest, I don't think I was really ready to commit.
So, tell me, is it going to be the full make-up and stilettos next week, then? No way.
I thought maybe a skirt and a blouse, jacket over the top Nice.
Do you reckon? Besides, I can't find any size 11 stilettos.
You can get them.
Yeah? Yes, I have seen them online.
Oh, just do me a favour, don't come to work in them, whatever you do.
HE LAUGHS I suppose I should've never got married and had kids.
Why not? I think deep down I always knew.
That's the problem.
I just I just kept thinking it'd go away after we got married, and then after me and Sarah had the boys, but it didn't.
TYRES SCREECH HORN BLARES Bloody hell! What the hell do you think you're doing, you stupid idiot! That idiot was in the road! Oh, my God! Simon?! HORN BEEPS Jeez, will you shut up?! Are you OK? Jenny died.
Oh Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Come on, let's get Let's get off the road.
HORN BEEPS Oh, shut up! I just closed my eyes.
I drifted off because I'd been I'd been awake all night.
When I opened 'em, she was gone.
Her whole life's ended.
Why? Maybe she thought everything was OK and it was the right time for her to go.
I still had things I wanted to say to her.
I love her.
I wanted to be with her, I wanted to hold her when she went.
Maybe it was the right time for Jenny.
Hmm? I pressed the emergency bell and they ran in and they tried to save her, they tried to bring her back.
I know.
Right, I'm going to get the pair of you in the car.
OK? Come on.
Shit.
God.
Life's short.
Yeah.
So no point buggering about if you think something's wrong.
Sarah says I've got to tell the boys tonight.
I really don't know where I'm going to start.
Just be truthful with them.
They might take it better than you think.
Yeah.
Listen, er I'm going to drop you off at home and I just need to nip back to the office.
Yeah.
Evening.
Evening.
LOCK BEEPS SHE SNIFFS AND EXHALES DOOR OPENS Don't worry, I've saved it onto a USB stick.
What the hell are you doing here at this time? Moving my stuff out of the Super's office.
Bit graphic, isn't it? What have I ever done to offend you? You've taken my job.
You been out celebrating? No, I I had to go back to work.
We had an RGL this afternoon and, er I thought they'd all be buying you a drink.
So how did it go? How did they take you getting Super? Yeah, they were all fine, except for Judy.
Yeah, but you expected that, right? Can't believe I ever felt sorry for that woman.
Did you get my trainers? Yes, they're in the boot of the car.
Don't say I never do anything for you.
How are you feeling? Still got a headache.
- Emily Johnson thinks Liam's fit.
- Where is he? He's meeting up with his girlfriend.
They're going to "talk".
Can you take your uniform off, please, Lucy? You're going to drop your dinner all down the front of it.
- Go and put your jammies on.
- I'm watching this.
Oh, come on, please, can you just do what you're told? I thought you were supposed to be ill.
MESSAGE ALERT TONE How about you? Did you find out who the girl in the canal was? Not yet.
We're still trying to get an ID on her.
- What are you doing? - Trying to get into Lucy's phone.
Well, her code's not her birthday.
- She'll go mental if she catches you.
- We need to monitor what's going on because she's got dodgy things popping up on her phone.
What kind of dodgy things? I don't know because I can't get into her phone.
They're grey.
Yeah, well, they were the only colour they had in your size.
I wanted black.
Oh Do you know what? I've I've had enough.
I won't wear 'em.
You ungrateful brat.
Give us 'em here.
SHE SIGHS I can't do it.
It's impossible.
I'll take his trainers back tomorrow and talk to Lucy about her phone.
It's not just that, it's everything.
You're always like this when you've done an RGL.
Come here.
She was only 27.
She'd given birth to a baby boy two days earlier.
And they'd always meant to get married, but they could never afford it.
Anyway .
.
she died this evening.
I'm sorry, love.
And she's never going to see her baby boy grow up.
Maybe knowing she had him will've brought her some comfort.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
There's other stuff too, at work.
Anything you want to share? No.
I can't.
I I want to, but I I can't.
It's just It's immigration stuff, another sham marriage.
Right.
Do you know, I started thinking today .
.
I might like to get married.
You always said Yes, I know, I know what I always said.
But I really got it today .
.
just seeing those two young people so desperate to commit to each other.
Marriage means something, Rob, and it's real and it's not just for a visa.
Yeah.
If anything ever happened to either of us, Rob, I would just want us to be married.
I mean, we don't need to if you don't want to 'Course I want to marry you, you daft bat.
Shall we tell the kids? Why not? Right, I'll go and round 'em up.
Be down in a minute.
Lucy! Tom! What do you want? Me and your mam've got something to tell you! PHONE CHIMES FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS Kate? James is here.
James? He's in a bit of a state.
What's the matter with him? I couldn't do it.
I couldn't tell 'em.
So Sarah, she asked me to leave.
I hope you don't mind.
Not at all.
I just I had nowhere else to go.
You can stay with us until you sort something out.
I'm so sorry.
It's OK.
Hey Hey, come on, it's OK.
I always thought you were married.
There's hope for me yet, then.
You've got a skirt on.
Yeah, I'm on a journey.
Do you need help? Yeah.
Where did you get the ring? A girl at school.
I'm going to send him a copy of the tape and we'll see if he still thinks you're such a golden girl then.