M.I. High (2007) s01e01 Episode Script

Yes Good, good That's it Now destroy! The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.
The old-school spies have had their day and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.
Hidden in a place no villain would think to look Welcome to MI High.
But of course cell division is not the only means by which organisms replicate themselves.
Now consider, for example, the varied reproductive cycle of the sea cucumber, Holothuria scabra.
Now write that down.
Yes Neanderthal man can make things fly.
Him very clever! Now, cloning is the ability to form exact copies of Forget sea cucumbers.
The aliens are already here, cloning humans.
They've got an army of super-beings ready to take over the Earth.
So, what do you think of the new hair? - Cute.
- Yeah, and like totally individualistic.
- Thanks! Now, cloning has been in the news a lot recently On this diagram you will see that sea cucumber relies on the formation of tiny platonic larvae which drifts along on the ocean current.
Uh, miss I've got my community liaison session.
That's very thoughtful of you, Blane.
Yeah, there's this OAP on my estate that I help out sometimes.
Well, that is marvellous.
They do so enjoy the company of younger people.
Right, off you go.
Daisy, are you all right? Sorry, miss can I be excused too? I've just got this awful migraine.
Of course, of course, you poor thing! Go see the nurse.
Now, um sea cucumber.
Oh, it's not you as well, is it, Rose? I, um, need the toilet.
I thought you at least would be interested in the reproductive cycle of sea cucumbers.
I am.
I'll be right back.
Right Too slow, too slow! And none out of ten for the exit strategy, Rose.
That's the third time in a row you've used the toilet routine.
- I'll try harder next time, Lenny.
- Mm Maybe if we had a real mission, instead of training all the time You have got a real mission.
This is what we've been preparing for.
Wicked! MI9's concerns are growing about the Prime Minister.
At a recent summit, he pronounced a new desire to make Britain great again.
Take a look at this.
I envisage a new Europe one in which Britain and Britain alone shall rule.
The PM has suddenly gone from peace-maker to war-monger.
MI9 are afraid he may be about to invade Europe, launching us into World War III.
But why would he do that? That's what we want you to find out.
I've pulled a few strings, and the PM will be visiting St.
Hope's later today.
And he's coming to present the annual Brave Kids' awards for kids who've done something, um especially brave or kind.
Now, the ceremony is being held here because one of our pupils has, um, won the top prize.
Who me? A brave kid? Quick Let's go, quick, quick! Congratulations on your work, Guinea Pig.
General Flopsie and I are impressed, aren't we, Flopsie? But the Super-Criminal Underworld League sponsored your research and now you must help us.
Grand Master, relax.
My scientific trials are complete.
The world is about to see what what we are capable of.
Your mission is to investigate the Prime Minister.
Daisy, you'll go undercover as a reporter for the United Schools Gazette.
Find out why he's behaving so aggressively.
We need a suspect profile, personal history, family background.
Plus we'll need blood and DNA samples.
DNA? Deoxyribonucleic acid life's building block.
Yeah.
Try and keep up, Blane.
How are you going to undercover with such a big mouth? At least I'm not just hired muscle.
You mean martial arts expert, which beats being an expert at make-up.
My mate Stewart would be worth ten of you.
Look, guys, who knows why MI9 chose us, but we're in this together.
It's our first mission, we can't afford to mess up.
Have confidence, Rose.
You were all selected for your unique qualities.
Scientific genius, social chameleon, martial arts expert.
Ah, I remember my first mission.
Brighton Beach, crack of dawn, rubber dingy, me, Chuckers and Ginger, done up to the nines with camouflage Gadgets any? Oh, yes, um, sorry.
Now this note pad conceals a DNA-analyser.
And this a lipstick laser.
It can cut a hole in metal at ten metres.
Lipstick I don't think so.
Come on, Blane, pucker up Kung Fu master have no need of flashy gadget.
Daisy, you might want to keep the lid on that.
Now, it's vital you memorise the details of the reporter legend we've created for you.
Your name is Charlotte Graham.
Remember, any deviation from the facts will compromise the mission, and could put you in deadly danger.
Hi.
This is Charlotte Graham reporting.
Pleasure to meet you, Prime Minister.
My hair? Oh, it's just something casual.
So what's my role in all this? I got top marks in target practice last week.
You'll be covering Daisy.
Just hide in plain sight, and act as counter surveillance.
Um it's another word for back-up, as in you'll be back-up for me.
Great.
So they get to save the world, and all I do is watch? It needs to go higher, Bicknall, higher up.
That's it, just lean, you lean forward.
Can you believe people are copying us already? Didn't you copy your hairstyle from that actress on telly? And, um, who are you again? She just doesn't get fashion, does she? Yeah, or how totally important it is.
If you say so.
But why worry about something that only lasts for a moment? Loser.
Radio Club be there, this lunchtime.
- Sorry, Stewart, I can't.
- I told you about the aliens cloning an army - I think I've intercepted their signals.
- I can't make it.
But this is huge.
I thought we were mates? - We are.
- So what's gotten into you these days? - You've got more secrets than the CIA.
- I don't know what you mean.
Look, we've been mates since we were six.
I can tell when you're lying.
Stu, there's something you should know.
Na na na hobbit loves at nine o'clock.
But it's ten past eleven - But you swear not to tell anyone? - On the Klingon code of conduct.
- Ow! - Telling tales? Butt out, bimbo.
This is a great day for St Hope's, a visit from the Prime Minister.
Let's hope it all goes to plan.
It will.
We've excluded the worst trouble-makers.
Well, a few hundred of them anyway.
Good, good.
Um, what about the staff? Oh, I've told some of them to stay away too.
- The depressed-looking ones.
- Right, good idea.
- Were you really going to tell Stewart about our mission? - No way.
- Daisy doesn't know what she's talking about.
- This is serious.
If our identities are exposed, MI9 will close us down.
- That's Daisy! - Good, isn't she? The Prime Minister, he's here.
Welcome to St.
Hope's, Prime Minister, I'm Kenneth Flatley, Head Teacher.
This is Charlotte Graham, a reporter from the United Schools Gazette.
Thank you for granting me an interview, Prime Minister.
Can we get this ceremony under way a.
s.
a.
p? - I've an announcement to make afterwards.
- An announcement? - Yes.
Troops are mobilised and ready to strike across Europe.
They only await my final instruction.
Rose, this is getting serious.
The PM's going to launch an attack on Europe.
You in position, Blane? There's zero happening this end.
It's Dullsville.
- Don't let her out of your sight.
- Yeah, yeah - counter surveillance.
I can do my job.
Flatley, send for me in my dressing room when I'm needed.
Subject on the move.
I'm going to try for an interview.
And some DNA.
I've never heard signals like this before.
It's definitely an alien language.
Whatever it is, it's inside the school! Sorry, love, this area's off limits.
Charlotte Graham.
I have an interview with the PM.
Boss's orders.
Oh, Prime Minister! Oh! Ow! Wow! Masaki five-finger freeze works a treat.
Hello? Prime Minister? Rose, I'm with the PM.
He seems to be asleep.
Great.
Get me those samples.
And where would I find DNA, exactly? Any piece of skin or fingernail would do.
How about dandruff? He's got plenty of that.
Perfect.
Gross.
Britain's PM needs to learn to rinse after he shampoos.
Transmitting the results now.
OK, Prime Minister.
Let's see what makes you tick.
Activate.
Daisy, it's the PM You have to get out of there.
Um I I'm Charlotte Millar Charlotte Graham Charlotte Millar-Graham.
Daisy Daisy! You're very persistent.
We journos always get our man! So, how do you feel about meeting Britain's bravest kids? Are you brave, Ms Millar-Graham? I I think so.
Then let's stop wasting both our time.
DNA analysis, one of your special interests? Science is always popular with our readers.
'Losing subject' must be under L.
Blane? - Not now.
- It's Daisy.
- What's she done? Broken a fingernail? No, she's in trouble, as you'd know if you'd been doing your job.
Meet back at HQ.
Uh, no running, please, Blane.
Just try and stop me.
You won't believe this! Prime Minister, they've started the ceremony.
Who are you? Interview your way out of this.
Listen! I'm picking up alien signals from inside the school! It'll be that taxi company again.
Remember? We thought they were Martians.
No, not this time.
The signal centred on Westminster, and moved east until it got to here.
- Westminster? As in Houses of Parliament Westminster? - Yeah, and it's transmitting from somewhere close.
- I need to borrow this.
- Radio Club adjourned ten minutes ago.
- It's no big deal, OK? I'll explain later.
- Look after it.
Are you sure you don't want me to come? Nice one, Lenny.
See? Smoking really is bad for you.
And well done runner-up Giles, for saving a rambler from a flock of crazed sheep, using only a stunt kite and an electric kettle prod.
I should have walked this.
Yes.
What is it they're saying he did? Carried his gran's shopping home for a week? Huh - looks more likely to have sold his gran.
Mummy says the results were a fix.
Daisy, thank goodness you're safe! No thanks to Mr Surveillance! I'm here now, aren't I? Can we sort this out later? The Prime Minister is a cyber clone.
A what? Cyber clone, half man, half machine.
DNA tests confirmed it.
But I can't work out how he's being operated.
It could be software, or voice-activation, - or radio waves.
- That would explain this.
- Stewart's been picking up weird signals.
- This is great! If we can follow this back to its source, we can find out who's controlling the Prime Minister.
It's using phase shift p's k31 mode on 31.
25 kilohertz band.
Is that good? It means it's nearby.
I'll go.
But what about the robo-clone Prime Minister thing? He's going to declare war any minute now.
- Leave him to me.
- Back-up Boy Wonder? I don't think so.
I messed up and was wrong about you pulling off the report thing.
But trust me, I can do this.
OK, fine.
We'll both go.
But you better not mess up this time.
And I'm sure you'll all agree that this has been a very special day for St.
Hope's.
I personally would like to say thank you Oh, I don't believe this! I wanted to stand out from the crowd.
Focus, Daisy! You cannot stop us now.
My next announcement will be a declaration of war.
Not on my watch! Hah! What happened, Charlotte? - Um, just a faulty fire alarm.
- Oh, right.
- Um, yeah.
Aargh! Aah! We'll soon get things back to normal.
Aaargh! But, while we're waiting, I suggest we find out more about the fascinating man standing next to me.
So, where exactly did the Flatley story begin? Eh? Well, um Stupid boy! My cyber clone has the strength of ten men.
Even worse than I thought.
This is a science laboratory, and you are trespassing.
This isn't science, it's playing God.
People aren't cans of beans to be run off on some production line.
That's where you're wrong.
Destroy! Let him go.
Seize her! - Professor Sally Morrow? - You know of me? Any scientist worth their sodium chloride knows of you, and your discredited experiments.
If you were a scientist, then you would be on the side of progress.
This isn't progress, it's madness! Look at you.
Something bothering you, rodent-features? Could it be that guinea pigs are very susceptible to high frequency sound waves? You wouldn't dare! Having caravanning as a hobby helped you switch off from such a pressured job? Yes, that and breeding tropical fish Um, guys, I could do with some back-up here.
Something weird is going on.
I'm going to get my radio back.
Those alien clones have got to be somewhere close.
Hold on, Blane, while I try and work this thing out.
Not so handy now! Rose, hurry up! Hey.
What's going on? I was just helping fix the fire alarm.
That's no fire alarm, it's the alien task force.
I need my radio back, quick.
It's back in your locker, but it's still picking up some amazing stuff.
I knew it they've landed! They've landed! - Are you coming? - I'll catch up with you.
Fresh water fish, which Oh, um, the Prime Minister's back.
- Has Rose got control of him yet? - I don't know, I lost radio contact.
Taking out the TV cameras will blow our cover, - but it might be the only way.
- No, we have to give Rose a chance.
OK, so how does this thing work? OK, now how does this thing work? Concentrate now.
- Whatever I think the PM says.
- the PM says.
Uh, no, what I meant to say was Listen up in science classes, and be .
.
respectful to people who are good at it.
Um, now, I said I was going to make an important announcement, and here it is.
I'm here today to talk of peace.
Whatever our differences with the rest of Europe, we can work it out.
People have just got to chill out.
Britain can be great again, by listening to others, and doing the right thing.
Oh, and, um, science is cool.
Oh, and, um, science is cool.
Hello? Hello? Oh dear Is anybody there? Prime Minister! Don't worry, you're safe now.
Do you know where the gentlemen's toilet is? I I've been in here rather a long time.
Well at least he's 'armless now.
The Guinea Pig's plan had 'SKUL' stamped all over it.
Yes.
The Grand Master will use any disaffected party to try and cause chaos.
The Guinea Pig's been arrested, and we sealed her lab for investigation.
And Britain's back on a peaceful path.
People have just got to chill out.
Oh, and, um, science is cool.
Where's the Guinea Pig? Why isn't Britain at war? Oh, never trust a guinea pig.
You were right all along, Flopsie.
Poor Prime Minister! It's no fun having clones of yourself everywhere.
You're lucky, no-one ever copies you.
You just do your own thing.
I guess that's my style.
Yeah, but we really should do something about those shoes.
I really thought I'd put it back in your locker.
I must have dropped it during the fire drill.
Poor Blane, he and Stewart were always so close.
Well, he's got us now.
You'll work it out.
Not bad for a first mission.
Taken out an impostor PM, and Britain's none the wiser.
We're not even going to be famous! Just as well, cos we've got double science in five minutes!