Masters of Sex s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
If the nightingales could sing like you They'd sing much sweeter than they do For you brought a new kind of love to me If the sandman brought me dreams of you I'd want to sleep my whole life through Has set a new standard in the midwest The highest standard.
So high that even our friends on the coasts are now paying attention.
The man that we're honoring this evening is a visionary in every sense of the word.
I have known him since he was a resident here at Washington.
He was opinionated and hardheaded even then.
His constant innovations to obstetric surgery have earned him dominance in the field.
If there's one thing I hear during the course of my day, it's, "thanks to him, we have a family.
" Ladies and gentlemen, Dr.
William Masters.
I am, uh A man of science.
Which is why I'll let my friend provost Scully supply the words tonight.
Most regrettably, I have to go.
It turns out I'm working this evening.
Bill Masters has yet to devise the baby guaranteed to arrive during business hours.
But mark my words.
He will.
But I do thank you.
I thank you for honoring me here tonight.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
So good.
Ernie, you're a fucking animal.
- Oh, my God.
Ohh.
Oh, my God.
So good.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna come.
Aah! Aah! - Aah! Aah! - Oh, my God.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh.
Good for you.
Arousal states for clients 1 and 6 were instantaneous.
making him the slowest.
The last client how long did he stay in the plateau state? For-fucking-ever.
I have 11 minutes.
Well, you're the expert.
Your napkin actually goes in your lap.
From a man standing in a closet watching people hump all night.
It's work.
- Oh, really? - Which reminds me You might consider keeping a journal.
You could time a lot of this yourself, even if it's counting in your head.
What is the matter with you? Seriously.
I can't be there every night.
Ah! We were getting so close.
Client 8 Uh I have your climax lasted approximately 9 seconds.
I was faking.
You didn't have an orgasm? - You're serious now? - Yes, I'm serious.
You Pretended to have an orgasm? Is that a-a common practice amongst prostitutes? It's a common practice amongst anyone with a twat.
Women fake orgasms almost all of them.
Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately.
But why? W-why would a woman lie about something like that? God almighty.
This is Okay.
I'm gonna be honest with you, but only 'cause I like you and you seem real dedicated about your project, in your penguin suit and all, with the charts and the timer.
But seriously, if you really want to learn about sex, then you're gonna have to get yourself a female partner.
Have you seen her? She's gorgeous.
And they placed her in our department.
Insurance processing.
Right outside the elevators, which makes it very convenient to casually run into her.
Anyway, rumor is the new girl's just now getting divorced.
Ex-husband's a band leader.
She was his singer, so she's probably dying for something stable.
This E.
E.
G.
isn't You're not still going ahead with that, are you? Going ahead and about to enter the second phase.
Support for the project grows every day.
Support from? Scully is gonna present my proposal to the board.
In the meantime, I'm looking for volunteers.
I say this with the greatest respect, bill, even affection, but this study of yours is doomed.
Want to bet? Scully will sooner approve a trip to the moon.
H-How will he even begin to defend this to the board? He won't have to.
Project's gonna be conducted in perfect secrecy.
In a teaching hospital, where no one ever gossips.
Come meet the new girl with me.
Do you not have patients, Dr.
Haas? Because I will gladly reassign yours to Dr.
Evans if you're too busy.
I'll be in my office.
And your secret here is safe with me.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Dr.
Masters.
The interviews you've requested appear to be secretarial candidates.
Now, either we're adding staff to our office, or I'm being replaced.
Would you care to clarify? The job has changed, miss horchow.
Why wouldn't I be right for this new job? Because I have another new study pending, one that requires a secretary not at all Squeamish.
I grew up on a farm.
I've beheaded chickens.
Oh, I can imagine.
But did you ever see one of those chickens fake an orgasm? More importantly, do you know why a woman would fake an orgasm? Because that's one of the questions I hope to answer.
This new job will require taking sexual histories in intimate, explicit detail.
And to be honest, you don't seem the kind of woman that would cotton to such a task.
I'm not sure what kind of woman would.
I'm not sure what kind of woman could hold her head up in church every Sunday knowing she'd spent the entire week talking smut! Science.
Slap on whatever fancy term you like.
I'll schedule the first round of interviews as early as tomorrow.
Thank you, miss On a day Horchow.
Like today We pass the time away Writing love letters In the sand How you laughed when I cried Each time I saw the tide Take our love letters From the sand You made a vow Daddy.
On time tonight.
That alone is cause for celebration.
But somehow Candles usually mean guests.
Mm, not tonight.
Just us two.
You took your temperature? Uh-huh.
That doesn't mean you have to make a soufflé, lib.
Oh, it's romantic.
I-it's chocolate.
Chocolate makes people feel, um Every wave that breaks Quick prayer first, daddy.
Mm? Dear lord Please bring us the baby we already love and adore.
Amen.
Here's my card.
My work extension's on the front.
Home number's on the back my empty home.
Sad home, where no one is waiting for me.
I have two children waiting for me.
Well, maybe Are your kids friendly? 'Cause maybe they'll take pity on me and invite me in.
I do appreciate the ride, Dr.
Haas.
- Ethan.
- Ethan.
And I'll take that to mean you'd like me to shove off.
No, actually, I look forward to knowing you and maybe even becoming friends.
- Friends.
- Yes.
That's all my life can accommodate right now.
I must look like an idiot.
But the truth is All I could think about the entire drive home was kissing you.
Well, friends can kiss.
On your bottom now.
Knees to chest.
We could look in each other's eyes sometimes.
Once you're pregnant.
Until then This is the most effective position.
Daddy.
What do you see when you look at me? Love.
Love? It was like something out of a movie That kind of movie.
First, I get the "just friends" speech.
Next thing I know, she invites me in, and I get a blow job.
Right there on the couch.
Fellatio.
I know what it is.
What it is is incredible! These are the insured patients.
Dr.
Phillips insists that these files be kept separate from the ward patients, who are walk-ins and usually poor.
Dr.
Hunt he wants all his files kept in storage.
I need a directory.
I need to know all the doctors' names, their departments, their titles.
Their quirks, their incomes, their marital status, their availability despite their marital status.
For example, if I wanted to know about Dr.
Haas You would go to obstetrics.
Dr.
Ethan Haas.
First-year fellow.
Ob-gyn.
He's one of the young pups.
And his boss is? Dr.
William Masters.
He's the Alpha dog of coochie medicine.
It was so sexy.
Jesus.
But what does it mean? What does a blow job mean? What are you a girl? Okay, who cares what it means and why she did it? Although I do think it's the rare bird that is both elegant and smart and volunteers that kind of thing.
All I do know for sure is I am going to marry that woman.
Come in.
Code blue in the E.
R.
, Dr.
Masters.
C-section, bleeding out.
Scrub up and assist, Dr.
Haas.
Yes.
I'm right behind you.
I want to show you something your man in action.
She's lost over 4,000CC, bill.
Placenta accreta? Yes, but the hemorrhaging How long has she been on the table? Uh, 98 minutes.
- How many bottles? - Four.
Two more.
500CC.
Another on deck.
- Heart rate? - 140.
- What's the pressure? - 70 over palp.
Which one of you geniuses is her doctor? She's on the negro ward.
You didn't get all the placenta, for starters.
- 12 gauze packs.
- I already used 12.
And a scalpel number 5.
Suture.
I'll deliver these on my break.
Let the messenger boys do that.
Dr.
Masters.
We haven't yet met.
Are you here to interview or on some other business? Can you squeeze me in now? I'm sure it seems unorthodox, going from nightclub singer to secretary, but I-I can assure you I am very capable, organized.
- I'm the hardest worker I know.
- You don't know me.
Well, I assume that comes with the job.
Any medical education? I was an undergrad at drury college.
- Studying? - Music.
So you graduated with a B.
A.
? Actually, marriage interfered before I could graduate.
But I am enrolled in classes now, here at the university.
I'll have my degree by year's end.
- In? - Sciences.
Behavioral science.
Interference.
You didn't want to get married? Are we talking about my husbands again? So there's more than one? Two.
I stopped at two.
So, the first marriage was for interference.
The second was for? Children.
I have a boy and a girl.
Is that unusual? I believe that's average, statistically.
Is it unusual that you didn't marry for love in either marriage? You're surrounded by women.
Perhaps you could best answer that question.
I'm curious as to what you have to say.
Well, good housekeeping quizzes tell you that women marry for love What they think is love.
But I think that women often confuse love with physical attraction.
- Sex.
- Yes.
Women often think that sex and love are the same thing.
But they don't have to be.
They don't even have to go together.
Sex can be perfectly good on its own, whereas love is I don't think I've ever heard a woman express such an opinion.
It's not a theory I trot out at dinner parties.
You're a doctor.
I'm guessing you're not easily flustered.
Did she live? The woman in surgery today? Yes.
And would she have died had you not stepped in? Yes.
Then I envy you.
That's a day well spent.
They're very strict about my break.
Since you brought up the subject of sex Actually, you did.
Why would a woman fake an orgasm? To get a man to climax quickly.
Usually so the woman can get back to whatever it is she'd rather be doing.
I know it's late, but I need to sign up for classes now Get myself in the system, officially registered as a student.
I was thinking my emphasis of study could be nature versus nurture.
I recently read an article on the subject.
I found it very informative.
We don't offer that as a major.
Well, not as a major, necessarily.
But it must fall in the department of behavioral sciences or something.
We don't have a department of behavioral sciences.
Well The article was very interesting.
It made me look at my own children in a whole new light.
My advice? Go home to your children and figure out what you really want.
I want a degree.
In an interesting subject something important.
When I was your age, I thought my children were important.
Do you have a sociology department? Well, then I'd like you to sign me up in the sociology department as an undeclared major.
Now.
I did promise to present this to the board, but that was before I read it.
You do know what's in here? I wrote it specifically to showcase this as a physiological study.
It's smut, bill.
That's how every board member will see it As pornography or prostitution or something equally depraved.
You didn't even show it to them.
Because I live in the real world.
Where there are libraries on how babies are born and not a single study on how babies are made.
We are doctors, for Christ's sakes, and I-I simply want to answer the question What happens to the body during sex? By using live subjects flopping around on beds.
- "Flopping.
" Self-stimulating.
Monitored for the collection of physiological data! Oh, for goodness' sake, bill, why are you doing this? Your practice is the envy of every doctor in this hospital.
My practice is a revolving door of cripples, women disappointed, confused, even tortured by sex.
They're desperate for help.
Do you know what advice I have to offer? "Get a divorce, get used to it, or cheat.
" Let psychiatrists help those women.
It's not medicine! It is medicine, and I am so far out in front of it, I'm the only one who sees it.
I want the truth.
I want to make my name in uncharted territory.
I I want a Nobel prize.
Then this discussion is over.
This study will never be seen as serious science, and you will be labeled a pervert.
You can thank me later for saving you from yourself.
"The Ed Sullivan show.
" You ain't no friend of mine Imagine what my mother would say if she could see this boy.
Ahh.
I need to go out.
Now? Your dinner's in the warmer.
Slide it all in the sink.
I want my Martini shaken by vito tonight.
What happened? You look Uh Scully refuses to present my study.
Which study? It's about how the human body responds to Various physical stimuli.
Don't make me explain this now.
I want a drink, then I want another drink, then Lib? I had a visitor.
But you said your basal temp spiked last night.
That puts you mid-cycle, not starting a new one.
Do we have to discuss But if you don't correctly monitor So t-tired of feeling like a failure at the one thing that we want most.
Two years, and nothing.
Why can't I have a baby? Why why can't I give my husband a child? Lib, hon.
Let's not My wife is coming in next week.
We've decided she'll join my cervical-cap trial.
We've had great success with it, and I'd appreciate it if you help us through the admissions process.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
I can imagine infertility is very stressful.
For Libby, it is, yes.
But not for you? Libby has a reproductive tract incompatible with conception, which is stressful for her.
And it's certainly no secret that infertility is distracting while at the same time being endlessly tedious and annoying.
For her.
Anyway, I've helped so many other couples conceive.
It seems impossible I can't help my own wife.
Yes, it does seem unlikely.
Anyway, my shift ended an hour ago.
Right.
You can go.
But don't get too used to regular hours in this office.
Reproduction is a 'round-the-clock business.
I warned her you're a slave driver.
I don't mind the long hours.
I just need some warning to make arrangements for my children.
Good work today.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, we had a deal.
We had a deal.
But I've never done that before.
Did what I do to you feel good? Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Then you do the same thing to me.
You don't have a penis.
Is that what they taught you in medical school? I'm not finding school very helpful right now.
Confidence, doctor.
That's the key.
- Confidence.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
This is even sexier.
Shut up, Ethan.
- What? - Shut up.
Too much talking? It's good.
- It's great.
- Really? I want more.
More.
You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
Surgery went well.
I can see it the nurses.
They're thinking, "why is she not in the negro ward?" You're not in the negro ward because I moved you here.
This is where you'll get the best care.
That baby was everything.
You'll have another.
They told me I can't.
Mrs.
May, I'm your doctor now.
And when I say I will work day and night until you leave this hospital with a baby in your arms, that's what I will do.
Of course, I didn't admit I have no idea what a cervical cap is.
It's a device Masters invented himself.
It's basically a-a rubber cap that takes dud sperm and places it right against the cervix.
"Dud" sperm? Mm-hmm.
Or in Masters' case, no sperm.
Most of the men in the study have a low sperm count.
Masters' is close to zero.
No.
No.
He told me himself.
His wife is the one with the problem.
Don't take it personally.
I mean, I love bill.
He's taught me so much.
Championed me as a resident.
I owe him everything, really.
- But his ego There is no way the great bill Masters is going to admit he's shooting blanks.
You looked in his file.
It was right there.
Mm.
I hope my lab coat hides the fact I'll be wearing the same clothes two days in a row.
Ethan.
I said that we'd be friends.
And I meant it.
That sounds ominous.
No, it would just be It would be confusing for my kids and awkward for us if you stayed.
So I'm not spending the night.
You're kicking me out.
I can make you coffee for the road.
Coffee.
Uh, no.
Thanks.
It's not like I pressure her into it.
- In fact, she pressures me.
- How traumatic for you.
Scar tissue on the anterior wall.
And it's like The kind of sex you have when you're married.
Or on your honeymoon, I'm guessing.
Or like sex with a prostitute.
Not that I've ever been with a prostitute, but Jesus Christ.
I need your help.
Mrs.
May needs my help.
Mrs.
May wants a baby and, off this, I'd put her chances at 10%.
You might be able to remove the lesions surgically.
Bill, I'm in love with her.
I don't know what to do.
I'd be a terrible cupid.
But you see "Gini" every day.
Maybe you could put in a good word for me.
So we can both look like we're 12? I am crazy about her, but she's killing me.
I mean, what is it she wants? What does the woman you're sleeping with want? The riddle of life itself can't come close to the unfathomable mystery of that question.
We start with the intake forms.
The procedure itself comes later.
Being married to bill can often feel like a spectator sport.
I-I just mean you attract attention whether you want to or not.
The garden in the courtyard is nice.
We can sit there, like two girlfriends, fill out the forms.
No one will be the wiser.
How does that sound? There are magazines, a pillow.
It helps if you put it under your knees.
You've been so kind, Mrs.
Johnson.
Call me Virginia Gini.
I'll tell my husband you're his new secret weapon, Gini.
The doc wanted me to be the last one in tonight.
Right.
Betty Dimello.
I see you've started on the intake forms.
Uh, only the name and address stuff.
The other questions, you can answer.
The other questions are your medical history.
Oh.
How about I talk and you write? Okay.
Let's start with infertility.
Meaning? Meaning, how long have you been trying to get pregnant? Have you ever been pregnant? Do you have a history of miscarriages? I've had three pregnancies taken care of, if you follow.
Two years ago, I had my tubes tied.
Please put miss Dimello in room 5.
Tell Dr.
Haas to meet me in my examining room.
The cap is small, but sometimes fitting it can be uncomfortable.
A sharp pinch, apparently.
Well, you'll tell me when it's over.
I won't be the one fitting it.
It's against hospital protocol to treat a family member.
Since when do you care about protocol? I let you follow the rules so I can break them.
Isn't that the deal? Careful, bill.
Careful about making me the boring one.
You're the tough one, lib.
I think we learned that long ago.
Mrs.
Masters.
This must mean you're doing the honors, Ethan.
Stay for a minute, can't you, daddy? I have a-a patient waiting, but I-I'll check in on you later.
No one can replace your husband.
But I have done this many times, and so far, not a single complaint.
Scoot all the way to the end for me.
Thank you.
Guess I'm your first Guinea pig.
My first Guinea pig was year two of medical school.
Then came rabbits.
But, yes, you're my first human subject on day one of my new study.
I appreciate your coming.
You're paying.
My mother always said I'd end up in the electric chair.
There's a reason the French call it "la petite mort.
" We got everything we need? E.
K.
G.
, E.
E.
G.
Vibrator? You said nothing about a vibrator.
This is why I keep telling you why you need a female partner.
I'm working on it.
Do you at least have any magazines? I do for men.
Okay.
With pictures of women.
- Good.
- Naked.
Even better.
When I have sex, on my own time, I have sex with women.
With Helen, in fact.
Helen is my lover.
So, who's your lover? You must love somebody.
- I'm married.
- That's an answer? That's my personal life, which is of no interest to you or anyone else.
I'll get those magazines.
Miss Dimello is a patient.
I learned long ago not to judge.
But I do like your wife.
And she is down the hall enduring infertility treatments, which is why this all does seem a bit insensitive on your part, if I May be so blunt.
Next time you're blunt, you might also try being right.
I hired you because I need an assistant and because I suspect you might have a gift for the work.
That said, if you're uncomfortable with what I'm doing here, speak now, and I can make other arrangements.
I'm not sure what it is you're doing.
I'm wiring miss Dimello to monitor her pulse, heart rate, and brain waves to illuminate to my patients, and to the general community, what happens to the body during sexual stimulation and orgasm.
The magazines are to help with the stimulation part, because unbeknownst to me, miss Dimello prefers women, which, to be Frank, concerns me because it May, in fact, throw off my data.
Why would it throw off your data? Isn't an orgasm an orgasm? That is one of the many questions I hope to answer.
But as she is my only subject, it really means I have no choice, whatever her orientation.
So are you interested in the job or not? I'm not sure why you chose me.
Instinct.
Even though I don't have a college degree or know anything about biology or anatomy.
I can teach you.
If you picked a female M.
D.
, she'd know all of this already.
A woman doctor would never jeopardize her career on such a risky subject.
You're jeopardizing yours? The study is not approved.
So, yes My career is in Jeopardy.
I'm going ahead anyway.
How can I help? But he must have given you the details.
Well, he did.
But it's confidential.
He said I could only talk about it with women who were willing to volunteer.
Volunteer for for what? The study is about sex Things that we've always suspected but never had proven scientifically.
It's a whole new world that we're opening up.
Groundbreaking.
Very exciting, for women especially.
It will probably be the biggest change to women's lives since the right to vote.
Really? The first two pages and the last one, okay? Okay.
Sure.
Our new volunteer starts tomorrow.
I just feel lucky you could fit me in at all.
Gini told me there is quite a waiting list for volunteers.
Right.
Quite a list.
As to how we'll proceed today, it's important to go over some ground rules.
You don't have to.
Gini already explained them to me.
It's interesting.
When you look at the data, you get a very clear picture of what's happening to the subject physically.
But if you want to answer a question like, "how does an orgasm feel for a woman?" It's not so easy to see it in the numbers.
How does it feel? It's like trying to describe salt to someone who's never tasted salt.
I've tasted salt.
Not the way I've tasted salt.
Go ahead.
How does an orgasm feel for a woman? Fantastic.
First thing we retract is this tissue here.
This is the omentum.
This is the bowel.
Once that's secured we move to what's called the vesicouterine fold.
We know what it's called, bill.
I retract the vesicouterine fold to expose this shiny, grapefruit-sized mass here, which is the uterus.
Number 10 scalpel.
Is that the end of the lesson? Dr.
langham.
Can I help you? No.
No.
I'm fine.
I-I was just, uh Listening to our exam room.
There's some money trading hands about what's going on in there.
- I don't know if you knew that.
- I didn't.
I think maybe a decorator is in there now, moving furniture.
I hope you're not out a lot.
If I can make the camera small enough, it'll allow the viewer to actually witness it in real time.
But can you vary the size of the device? Because this looks big.
And some women can accommodate big much better than others, of course.
Of course.
I thought we put this matter to bed.
This is work I've been doing on my own time.
An extracurricular hobby, like model building or macramé.
Bill, I said no.
I meant no.
What part of that do you not understand? The part that still believes you're a scientist.
All I am asking is that you take off your management hat for five minutes.
Let me show you what any real scientist would kill to see.
We call it "ulysses," after the Kirk Douglas movie with the giant cyclops.
It even assists with stimulation.
I don't like where this is going.
I designed ulysses myself, using cold-light illumination and with a miniature camera lens attached inside.
Who else is doing this? No one.
Who will be doing it in five years? Everyone.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Jane, relax.
Deep breath.
It'll be just like all the other times.
Except the provost of the entire university will be watching me.
No.
He's not watching you.
He's watching science.
Best seat in the house.
Now, the patient controls ulysses herself.
The only thing you have to do is lean in close, like this, so you get the best possible view through the lens.
But not too close, or you'll get poked in the eye.
You're saying watch out for the dildo.
Just think of yourself as sir Edmund Hillary leaving base camp.
Whenever you're ready, J miss.
Thank you.
It's, uh Well, it's a remarkable feat.
Which is why it's time to go public, barton.
Time to submit this proposal to the board.
Damn it.
You promised me.
I did not promise A study where a naked woman mounts a mechanical phallus! What we've done here is revolutionary.
You know it is.
It's not just the technology.
The new data we're collecting dispels years of myths about how a woman's body anticipates sex.
We've already debunked many established theories, plus charted clear-cut stages of sexual response four in all.
We're starting to see that some women are capable of multiple orgasms.
Why does your secretary keep talking to me? I already gave you my answer.
It's not an answer I can accept.
I've made this hospital a fortune.
Our patient base has tripled.
We're ranked second in the country.
Our donors can't write checks fast enough, in large part because of me.
I got us to where we are now.
And this study, this is where we're going.
This is the future.
But if you won't support me in in blazing that trail, then I'll find another hospital that will.
Dangerous game you're playing.
Oh, it's not a game.
I need an answer by the end of today.
He's not gonna call.
Ethan, I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
You're not even dressed yet.
Is this about the nicu benefit? For God's sake, Ethan, go ahead.
Gini can come with Libby and me later.
Libby's had me over twice this week.
I'm sure she'd like time alone.
And I would like a date.
So I can wait another 15 minutes.
Well, we have another hour here at least.
I'll meet you there.
Okay? See you there.
I thought you'd broken that off.
Broken what off? We're friends.
Because our professionalism and standards have to be beyond reproach, Virginia.
You know, this is not research into kidney disease, which might survive some incident of inner-departmental scandal.
This study is the scandal.
So even a hint of impropriety could derail all our work now, everything that's to come.
I understand you're upset about Scully.
I'm not talking about Scully! Now, given that every museum in the world is filled with art created from this basic impulse, the greatest literature The most beautiful music.
The study of sex is the study of the beginning of all life, and science holds the key.
Yet we sit huddled in the dark like prudish cavemen, filled with shame and and Guilt when the truth is, nobody understands sex.
And now nobody will.
It's late.
Let's go.
Masters.
I'm just so happy that you and barton made up.
It wasn't exactly valentines and roses.
But bill can be very persuasive, as you know.
I persuaded her to marry me.
And now I'm persuading her to find some champagne so we can celebrate.
I'll go with you, lib.
It's a good day.
Would you have done it? Leave, I mean? Scully's the one that folded.
I don't have to show my hand.
I've been asking around about langham.
He's married, but he's also had affairs.
Apparently, nurses are his weakness.
Maybe I should talk to him.
You? - Langham's a doctor.
- So are you.
I insinuated my way in with you easily enough.
You're forgetting that I picked you for this job.
If that's what you need to tell yourself.
See if you can get him away from his wife.
I'll find you later.
And then you have to lay there, you know, with your legs up around your ears, everything completely exposed.
It hurts, like cramping, only worse.
They've taken my blood so many times, one of my veins has collapsed.
Lib, all of the pain it will all be worth it.
I promise.
Honestly I think he needs it more than I do.
I mean, not the poking and prodding, of course, but the baby.
Bill appreciates me.
Having a wife grounds him, I think.
But a child? A child could really change him.
Anyway, it annoys him to no end, but I do apologize every day.
Here he is, this brilliant doctor, stuck with a barren wife.
I'll be back in one moment.
You wanted to know what was going on in room 5.
That, um Exceeded my expectations.
I'm flattered, although, honestly, I don't think I could stand there and, you know, wank off while people are watching.
That's not what this is.
The phase we're considering you for is couples.
Coup couples? Dear God.
M-my wife barely lets me see her naked.
We don't mean you and your wife.
I'm in the process of recruiting several new female volunteers.
Which females? We preserve the anonymity of all of our volunteers.
But I already have a secretary, and I've spoken with a nurse and a hospital administrator's wife.
Come on.
Only hookers and insane co-eds would agree to this.
I resent that.
Have you signed on? I am Dr.
Masters' associate.
Otherwise, I would have no reservations about volunteering.
All of our subjects know they're advancing the cause of science.
These are young, good-looking women.
Austin, trust me on this.
I don't know.
This whole thing feels like Christmas or something.
Gini! I need to talk to you.
Hello, Ethan.
We're working here.
Yes, your wife told me.
Your wife, who's been standing by herself at the bar the last 20 minutes.
I'll be back in a moment, gentlemen.
But, yes Merry Christmas to us all.
Ethan, let go of me! You're hurting me! No! Tell me! You can't answer, can you? How many times have we slept together? Just come back inside with me.
It's not that tough a question.
How many times have you let me fuck you? We are not going to have this conversation now.
When is a good time, Virginia? Because I haven't seen you in weeks.
You see me every day.
I haven't seen you alone! You work late every night! You ride home now - with that bow-tied asshole! - Shh! I come over, I get some bullshit excuse.
It's not an excuse.
I'm busy.
The study is expa I don't care about the study! Please.
Don't do this.
Don't not talk to me.
Just tell me.
- What?! - Tell me What? Tell you what? That I don't like being dragged out here in the cold when you're drunk and insulting? Why would I insult you when you're all I think about?! I have been in your bed.
I have been inside you.
Please.
What am I not doing? Or doing too much of? You know, what can I do better? Ethan, please.
You are my friend.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Do not say "friend.
" You are! You are my friend! Friends don't fuck, Virginia.
Lovers do.
People in love with each other, they do.
I care about you, Ethan.
But you don't love me.
You'll make love to me.
You'll let me do anything, everything to you.
It's because I like it, because you like it.
I do it because I love you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
That was never my intention.
That's enough! Fine.
Fine.
Wear the lab coat, Virginia.
Run the study.
Play doctor all you want.
At the end of the day, all you really are is a whore.
Mrs.
May.
Are you all right? I'm going to have a baby.
Another baby.
That is such happy news.
So, so happy.
Oh! Once you two get settled, I will attach the leads.
While we just lay there naked? There's a sheet, if you're feeling shy.
We'll see how it goes.
That's the fun of being first.
Fun! Hi.
Nice to meet you.
I'm, uh Anonymous.
What a coincidence.
I'm anonymous, too.
I'll take your gowns.
Make yourselves comfortable on the bed.
Now, there really are no rules in terms of what you can and can't do.
You simply need to move through all four stages so we can monitor the response.
We start with excitement.
- Moving right along To plateau, which is usually intercourse, but can also be more foreplay.
Then orgasmic That's self-explanatory, I think.
Ending with refractory, the body's physiological reflexes returning back to normal.
All of this comes very naturally, so I wouldn't get too in your head about it.
Too late for that.
Your other head.
And, uh, all the wires? I would advise going slowly.
More fun that way.
Now, whenever you two are ready.
Your cheekbone is bruised.
Watch out for open medicine cabinets.
You can go like like this.
Can I kiss you? Oh! You know, I think we did meet once Dr.
Shaw's birthday party.
Right.
You were the one with clothes on.
I do have one concern About the possibility of sexual transference between us and our patients.
We're going to be watching couples have sex, and those couples know we're watching them.
But the likelihood of us transferring all this libidinous energy onto our patients is high.
Is this something you're struggling with? No, but I could see the beginnings of it already between you and langham.
He was flirting with you - What? - And you responded.
I was trying to make him feel comfortable.
He was sitting there with an erection.
Which is why we need to implement a system, uh, that ensures this kind of transference doesn't occur.
It didn't occur.
So you won't object to devising a-a system that avoids any doctor/patient conflict.
I won't object, but why don't you just come out and say whatever it is you're trying to say? The two of us should undertake the research ourselves.
Have sex with our patients? Bill, that would be transference.
We should undertake the research with each other.
I've considered this carefully, and I-I realized it's the best way to ensure the longevity of the project.
We get the benefit of interpreting the data firsthand, plus, it deflects any inappropriate projection away from our patients.
Keeps it just between us.
Can I take the weekend to think about this? Of course.
All right.
Good night, then.
Good night.
So high that even our friends on the coasts are now paying attention.
The man that we're honoring this evening is a visionary in every sense of the word.
I have known him since he was a resident here at Washington.
He was opinionated and hardheaded even then.
His constant innovations to obstetric surgery have earned him dominance in the field.
If there's one thing I hear during the course of my day, it's, "thanks to him, we have a family.
" Ladies and gentlemen, Dr.
William Masters.
I am, uh A man of science.
Which is why I'll let my friend provost Scully supply the words tonight.
Most regrettably, I have to go.
It turns out I'm working this evening.
Bill Masters has yet to devise the baby guaranteed to arrive during business hours.
But mark my words.
He will.
But I do thank you.
I thank you for honoring me here tonight.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
So good.
Ernie, you're a fucking animal.
- Oh, my God.
Ohh.
Oh, my God.
So good.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna come.
Aah! Aah! - Aah! Aah! - Oh, my God.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh.
Good for you.
Arousal states for clients 1 and 6 were instantaneous.
making him the slowest.
The last client how long did he stay in the plateau state? For-fucking-ever.
I have 11 minutes.
Well, you're the expert.
Your napkin actually goes in your lap.
From a man standing in a closet watching people hump all night.
It's work.
- Oh, really? - Which reminds me You might consider keeping a journal.
You could time a lot of this yourself, even if it's counting in your head.
What is the matter with you? Seriously.
I can't be there every night.
Ah! We were getting so close.
Client 8 Uh I have your climax lasted approximately 9 seconds.
I was faking.
You didn't have an orgasm? - You're serious now? - Yes, I'm serious.
You Pretended to have an orgasm? Is that a-a common practice amongst prostitutes? It's a common practice amongst anyone with a twat.
Women fake orgasms almost all of them.
Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately.
But why? W-why would a woman lie about something like that? God almighty.
This is Okay.
I'm gonna be honest with you, but only 'cause I like you and you seem real dedicated about your project, in your penguin suit and all, with the charts and the timer.
But seriously, if you really want to learn about sex, then you're gonna have to get yourself a female partner.
Have you seen her? She's gorgeous.
And they placed her in our department.
Insurance processing.
Right outside the elevators, which makes it very convenient to casually run into her.
Anyway, rumor is the new girl's just now getting divorced.
Ex-husband's a band leader.
She was his singer, so she's probably dying for something stable.
This E.
E.
G.
isn't You're not still going ahead with that, are you? Going ahead and about to enter the second phase.
Support for the project grows every day.
Support from? Scully is gonna present my proposal to the board.
In the meantime, I'm looking for volunteers.
I say this with the greatest respect, bill, even affection, but this study of yours is doomed.
Want to bet? Scully will sooner approve a trip to the moon.
H-How will he even begin to defend this to the board? He won't have to.
Project's gonna be conducted in perfect secrecy.
In a teaching hospital, where no one ever gossips.
Come meet the new girl with me.
Do you not have patients, Dr.
Haas? Because I will gladly reassign yours to Dr.
Evans if you're too busy.
I'll be in my office.
And your secret here is safe with me.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Dr.
Masters.
The interviews you've requested appear to be secretarial candidates.
Now, either we're adding staff to our office, or I'm being replaced.
Would you care to clarify? The job has changed, miss horchow.
Why wouldn't I be right for this new job? Because I have another new study pending, one that requires a secretary not at all Squeamish.
I grew up on a farm.
I've beheaded chickens.
Oh, I can imagine.
But did you ever see one of those chickens fake an orgasm? More importantly, do you know why a woman would fake an orgasm? Because that's one of the questions I hope to answer.
This new job will require taking sexual histories in intimate, explicit detail.
And to be honest, you don't seem the kind of woman that would cotton to such a task.
I'm not sure what kind of woman would.
I'm not sure what kind of woman could hold her head up in church every Sunday knowing she'd spent the entire week talking smut! Science.
Slap on whatever fancy term you like.
I'll schedule the first round of interviews as early as tomorrow.
Thank you, miss On a day Horchow.
Like today We pass the time away Writing love letters In the sand How you laughed when I cried Each time I saw the tide Take our love letters From the sand You made a vow Daddy.
On time tonight.
That alone is cause for celebration.
But somehow Candles usually mean guests.
Mm, not tonight.
Just us two.
You took your temperature? Uh-huh.
That doesn't mean you have to make a soufflé, lib.
Oh, it's romantic.
I-it's chocolate.
Chocolate makes people feel, um Every wave that breaks Quick prayer first, daddy.
Mm? Dear lord Please bring us the baby we already love and adore.
Amen.
Here's my card.
My work extension's on the front.
Home number's on the back my empty home.
Sad home, where no one is waiting for me.
I have two children waiting for me.
Well, maybe Are your kids friendly? 'Cause maybe they'll take pity on me and invite me in.
I do appreciate the ride, Dr.
Haas.
- Ethan.
- Ethan.
And I'll take that to mean you'd like me to shove off.
No, actually, I look forward to knowing you and maybe even becoming friends.
- Friends.
- Yes.
That's all my life can accommodate right now.
I must look like an idiot.
But the truth is All I could think about the entire drive home was kissing you.
Well, friends can kiss.
On your bottom now.
Knees to chest.
We could look in each other's eyes sometimes.
Once you're pregnant.
Until then This is the most effective position.
Daddy.
What do you see when you look at me? Love.
Love? It was like something out of a movie That kind of movie.
First, I get the "just friends" speech.
Next thing I know, she invites me in, and I get a blow job.
Right there on the couch.
Fellatio.
I know what it is.
What it is is incredible! These are the insured patients.
Dr.
Phillips insists that these files be kept separate from the ward patients, who are walk-ins and usually poor.
Dr.
Hunt he wants all his files kept in storage.
I need a directory.
I need to know all the doctors' names, their departments, their titles.
Their quirks, their incomes, their marital status, their availability despite their marital status.
For example, if I wanted to know about Dr.
Haas You would go to obstetrics.
Dr.
Ethan Haas.
First-year fellow.
Ob-gyn.
He's one of the young pups.
And his boss is? Dr.
William Masters.
He's the Alpha dog of coochie medicine.
It was so sexy.
Jesus.
But what does it mean? What does a blow job mean? What are you a girl? Okay, who cares what it means and why she did it? Although I do think it's the rare bird that is both elegant and smart and volunteers that kind of thing.
All I do know for sure is I am going to marry that woman.
Come in.
Code blue in the E.
R.
, Dr.
Masters.
C-section, bleeding out.
Scrub up and assist, Dr.
Haas.
Yes.
I'm right behind you.
I want to show you something your man in action.
She's lost over 4,000CC, bill.
Placenta accreta? Yes, but the hemorrhaging How long has she been on the table? Uh, 98 minutes.
- How many bottles? - Four.
Two more.
500CC.
Another on deck.
- Heart rate? - 140.
- What's the pressure? - 70 over palp.
Which one of you geniuses is her doctor? She's on the negro ward.
You didn't get all the placenta, for starters.
- 12 gauze packs.
- I already used 12.
And a scalpel number 5.
Suture.
I'll deliver these on my break.
Let the messenger boys do that.
Dr.
Masters.
We haven't yet met.
Are you here to interview or on some other business? Can you squeeze me in now? I'm sure it seems unorthodox, going from nightclub singer to secretary, but I-I can assure you I am very capable, organized.
- I'm the hardest worker I know.
- You don't know me.
Well, I assume that comes with the job.
Any medical education? I was an undergrad at drury college.
- Studying? - Music.
So you graduated with a B.
A.
? Actually, marriage interfered before I could graduate.
But I am enrolled in classes now, here at the university.
I'll have my degree by year's end.
- In? - Sciences.
Behavioral science.
Interference.
You didn't want to get married? Are we talking about my husbands again? So there's more than one? Two.
I stopped at two.
So, the first marriage was for interference.
The second was for? Children.
I have a boy and a girl.
Is that unusual? I believe that's average, statistically.
Is it unusual that you didn't marry for love in either marriage? You're surrounded by women.
Perhaps you could best answer that question.
I'm curious as to what you have to say.
Well, good housekeeping quizzes tell you that women marry for love What they think is love.
But I think that women often confuse love with physical attraction.
- Sex.
- Yes.
Women often think that sex and love are the same thing.
But they don't have to be.
They don't even have to go together.
Sex can be perfectly good on its own, whereas love is I don't think I've ever heard a woman express such an opinion.
It's not a theory I trot out at dinner parties.
You're a doctor.
I'm guessing you're not easily flustered.
Did she live? The woman in surgery today? Yes.
And would she have died had you not stepped in? Yes.
Then I envy you.
That's a day well spent.
They're very strict about my break.
Since you brought up the subject of sex Actually, you did.
Why would a woman fake an orgasm? To get a man to climax quickly.
Usually so the woman can get back to whatever it is she'd rather be doing.
I know it's late, but I need to sign up for classes now Get myself in the system, officially registered as a student.
I was thinking my emphasis of study could be nature versus nurture.
I recently read an article on the subject.
I found it very informative.
We don't offer that as a major.
Well, not as a major, necessarily.
But it must fall in the department of behavioral sciences or something.
We don't have a department of behavioral sciences.
Well The article was very interesting.
It made me look at my own children in a whole new light.
My advice? Go home to your children and figure out what you really want.
I want a degree.
In an interesting subject something important.
When I was your age, I thought my children were important.
Do you have a sociology department? Well, then I'd like you to sign me up in the sociology department as an undeclared major.
Now.
I did promise to present this to the board, but that was before I read it.
You do know what's in here? I wrote it specifically to showcase this as a physiological study.
It's smut, bill.
That's how every board member will see it As pornography or prostitution or something equally depraved.
You didn't even show it to them.
Because I live in the real world.
Where there are libraries on how babies are born and not a single study on how babies are made.
We are doctors, for Christ's sakes, and I-I simply want to answer the question What happens to the body during sex? By using live subjects flopping around on beds.
- "Flopping.
" Self-stimulating.
Monitored for the collection of physiological data! Oh, for goodness' sake, bill, why are you doing this? Your practice is the envy of every doctor in this hospital.
My practice is a revolving door of cripples, women disappointed, confused, even tortured by sex.
They're desperate for help.
Do you know what advice I have to offer? "Get a divorce, get used to it, or cheat.
" Let psychiatrists help those women.
It's not medicine! It is medicine, and I am so far out in front of it, I'm the only one who sees it.
I want the truth.
I want to make my name in uncharted territory.
I I want a Nobel prize.
Then this discussion is over.
This study will never be seen as serious science, and you will be labeled a pervert.
You can thank me later for saving you from yourself.
"The Ed Sullivan show.
" You ain't no friend of mine Imagine what my mother would say if she could see this boy.
Ahh.
I need to go out.
Now? Your dinner's in the warmer.
Slide it all in the sink.
I want my Martini shaken by vito tonight.
What happened? You look Uh Scully refuses to present my study.
Which study? It's about how the human body responds to Various physical stimuli.
Don't make me explain this now.
I want a drink, then I want another drink, then Lib? I had a visitor.
But you said your basal temp spiked last night.
That puts you mid-cycle, not starting a new one.
Do we have to discuss But if you don't correctly monitor So t-tired of feeling like a failure at the one thing that we want most.
Two years, and nothing.
Why can't I have a baby? Why why can't I give my husband a child? Lib, hon.
Let's not My wife is coming in next week.
We've decided she'll join my cervical-cap trial.
We've had great success with it, and I'd appreciate it if you help us through the admissions process.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
I can imagine infertility is very stressful.
For Libby, it is, yes.
But not for you? Libby has a reproductive tract incompatible with conception, which is stressful for her.
And it's certainly no secret that infertility is distracting while at the same time being endlessly tedious and annoying.
For her.
Anyway, I've helped so many other couples conceive.
It seems impossible I can't help my own wife.
Yes, it does seem unlikely.
Anyway, my shift ended an hour ago.
Right.
You can go.
But don't get too used to regular hours in this office.
Reproduction is a 'round-the-clock business.
I warned her you're a slave driver.
I don't mind the long hours.
I just need some warning to make arrangements for my children.
Good work today.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, we had a deal.
We had a deal.
But I've never done that before.
Did what I do to you feel good? Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Then you do the same thing to me.
You don't have a penis.
Is that what they taught you in medical school? I'm not finding school very helpful right now.
Confidence, doctor.
That's the key.
- Confidence.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
This is even sexier.
Shut up, Ethan.
- What? - Shut up.
Too much talking? It's good.
- It's great.
- Really? I want more.
More.
You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
Surgery went well.
I can see it the nurses.
They're thinking, "why is she not in the negro ward?" You're not in the negro ward because I moved you here.
This is where you'll get the best care.
That baby was everything.
You'll have another.
They told me I can't.
Mrs.
May, I'm your doctor now.
And when I say I will work day and night until you leave this hospital with a baby in your arms, that's what I will do.
Of course, I didn't admit I have no idea what a cervical cap is.
It's a device Masters invented himself.
It's basically a-a rubber cap that takes dud sperm and places it right against the cervix.
"Dud" sperm? Mm-hmm.
Or in Masters' case, no sperm.
Most of the men in the study have a low sperm count.
Masters' is close to zero.
No.
No.
He told me himself.
His wife is the one with the problem.
Don't take it personally.
I mean, I love bill.
He's taught me so much.
Championed me as a resident.
I owe him everything, really.
- But his ego There is no way the great bill Masters is going to admit he's shooting blanks.
You looked in his file.
It was right there.
Mm.
I hope my lab coat hides the fact I'll be wearing the same clothes two days in a row.
Ethan.
I said that we'd be friends.
And I meant it.
That sounds ominous.
No, it would just be It would be confusing for my kids and awkward for us if you stayed.
So I'm not spending the night.
You're kicking me out.
I can make you coffee for the road.
Coffee.
Uh, no.
Thanks.
It's not like I pressure her into it.
- In fact, she pressures me.
- How traumatic for you.
Scar tissue on the anterior wall.
And it's like The kind of sex you have when you're married.
Or on your honeymoon, I'm guessing.
Or like sex with a prostitute.
Not that I've ever been with a prostitute, but Jesus Christ.
I need your help.
Mrs.
May needs my help.
Mrs.
May wants a baby and, off this, I'd put her chances at 10%.
You might be able to remove the lesions surgically.
Bill, I'm in love with her.
I don't know what to do.
I'd be a terrible cupid.
But you see "Gini" every day.
Maybe you could put in a good word for me.
So we can both look like we're 12? I am crazy about her, but she's killing me.
I mean, what is it she wants? What does the woman you're sleeping with want? The riddle of life itself can't come close to the unfathomable mystery of that question.
We start with the intake forms.
The procedure itself comes later.
Being married to bill can often feel like a spectator sport.
I-I just mean you attract attention whether you want to or not.
The garden in the courtyard is nice.
We can sit there, like two girlfriends, fill out the forms.
No one will be the wiser.
How does that sound? There are magazines, a pillow.
It helps if you put it under your knees.
You've been so kind, Mrs.
Johnson.
Call me Virginia Gini.
I'll tell my husband you're his new secret weapon, Gini.
The doc wanted me to be the last one in tonight.
Right.
Betty Dimello.
I see you've started on the intake forms.
Uh, only the name and address stuff.
The other questions, you can answer.
The other questions are your medical history.
Oh.
How about I talk and you write? Okay.
Let's start with infertility.
Meaning? Meaning, how long have you been trying to get pregnant? Have you ever been pregnant? Do you have a history of miscarriages? I've had three pregnancies taken care of, if you follow.
Two years ago, I had my tubes tied.
Please put miss Dimello in room 5.
Tell Dr.
Haas to meet me in my examining room.
The cap is small, but sometimes fitting it can be uncomfortable.
A sharp pinch, apparently.
Well, you'll tell me when it's over.
I won't be the one fitting it.
It's against hospital protocol to treat a family member.
Since when do you care about protocol? I let you follow the rules so I can break them.
Isn't that the deal? Careful, bill.
Careful about making me the boring one.
You're the tough one, lib.
I think we learned that long ago.
Mrs.
Masters.
This must mean you're doing the honors, Ethan.
Stay for a minute, can't you, daddy? I have a-a patient waiting, but I-I'll check in on you later.
No one can replace your husband.
But I have done this many times, and so far, not a single complaint.
Scoot all the way to the end for me.
Thank you.
Guess I'm your first Guinea pig.
My first Guinea pig was year two of medical school.
Then came rabbits.
But, yes, you're my first human subject on day one of my new study.
I appreciate your coming.
You're paying.
My mother always said I'd end up in the electric chair.
There's a reason the French call it "la petite mort.
" We got everything we need? E.
K.
G.
, E.
E.
G.
Vibrator? You said nothing about a vibrator.
This is why I keep telling you why you need a female partner.
I'm working on it.
Do you at least have any magazines? I do for men.
Okay.
With pictures of women.
- Good.
- Naked.
Even better.
When I have sex, on my own time, I have sex with women.
With Helen, in fact.
Helen is my lover.
So, who's your lover? You must love somebody.
- I'm married.
- That's an answer? That's my personal life, which is of no interest to you or anyone else.
I'll get those magazines.
Miss Dimello is a patient.
I learned long ago not to judge.
But I do like your wife.
And she is down the hall enduring infertility treatments, which is why this all does seem a bit insensitive on your part, if I May be so blunt.
Next time you're blunt, you might also try being right.
I hired you because I need an assistant and because I suspect you might have a gift for the work.
That said, if you're uncomfortable with what I'm doing here, speak now, and I can make other arrangements.
I'm not sure what it is you're doing.
I'm wiring miss Dimello to monitor her pulse, heart rate, and brain waves to illuminate to my patients, and to the general community, what happens to the body during sexual stimulation and orgasm.
The magazines are to help with the stimulation part, because unbeknownst to me, miss Dimello prefers women, which, to be Frank, concerns me because it May, in fact, throw off my data.
Why would it throw off your data? Isn't an orgasm an orgasm? That is one of the many questions I hope to answer.
But as she is my only subject, it really means I have no choice, whatever her orientation.
So are you interested in the job or not? I'm not sure why you chose me.
Instinct.
Even though I don't have a college degree or know anything about biology or anatomy.
I can teach you.
If you picked a female M.
D.
, she'd know all of this already.
A woman doctor would never jeopardize her career on such a risky subject.
You're jeopardizing yours? The study is not approved.
So, yes My career is in Jeopardy.
I'm going ahead anyway.
How can I help? But he must have given you the details.
Well, he did.
But it's confidential.
He said I could only talk about it with women who were willing to volunteer.
Volunteer for for what? The study is about sex Things that we've always suspected but never had proven scientifically.
It's a whole new world that we're opening up.
Groundbreaking.
Very exciting, for women especially.
It will probably be the biggest change to women's lives since the right to vote.
Really? The first two pages and the last one, okay? Okay.
Sure.
Our new volunteer starts tomorrow.
I just feel lucky you could fit me in at all.
Gini told me there is quite a waiting list for volunteers.
Right.
Quite a list.
As to how we'll proceed today, it's important to go over some ground rules.
You don't have to.
Gini already explained them to me.
It's interesting.
When you look at the data, you get a very clear picture of what's happening to the subject physically.
But if you want to answer a question like, "how does an orgasm feel for a woman?" It's not so easy to see it in the numbers.
How does it feel? It's like trying to describe salt to someone who's never tasted salt.
I've tasted salt.
Not the way I've tasted salt.
Go ahead.
How does an orgasm feel for a woman? Fantastic.
First thing we retract is this tissue here.
This is the omentum.
This is the bowel.
Once that's secured we move to what's called the vesicouterine fold.
We know what it's called, bill.
I retract the vesicouterine fold to expose this shiny, grapefruit-sized mass here, which is the uterus.
Number 10 scalpel.
Is that the end of the lesson? Dr.
langham.
Can I help you? No.
No.
I'm fine.
I-I was just, uh Listening to our exam room.
There's some money trading hands about what's going on in there.
- I don't know if you knew that.
- I didn't.
I think maybe a decorator is in there now, moving furniture.
I hope you're not out a lot.
If I can make the camera small enough, it'll allow the viewer to actually witness it in real time.
But can you vary the size of the device? Because this looks big.
And some women can accommodate big much better than others, of course.
Of course.
I thought we put this matter to bed.
This is work I've been doing on my own time.
An extracurricular hobby, like model building or macramé.
Bill, I said no.
I meant no.
What part of that do you not understand? The part that still believes you're a scientist.
All I am asking is that you take off your management hat for five minutes.
Let me show you what any real scientist would kill to see.
We call it "ulysses," after the Kirk Douglas movie with the giant cyclops.
It even assists with stimulation.
I don't like where this is going.
I designed ulysses myself, using cold-light illumination and with a miniature camera lens attached inside.
Who else is doing this? No one.
Who will be doing it in five years? Everyone.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Jane, relax.
Deep breath.
It'll be just like all the other times.
Except the provost of the entire university will be watching me.
No.
He's not watching you.
He's watching science.
Best seat in the house.
Now, the patient controls ulysses herself.
The only thing you have to do is lean in close, like this, so you get the best possible view through the lens.
But not too close, or you'll get poked in the eye.
You're saying watch out for the dildo.
Just think of yourself as sir Edmund Hillary leaving base camp.
Whenever you're ready, J miss.
Thank you.
It's, uh Well, it's a remarkable feat.
Which is why it's time to go public, barton.
Time to submit this proposal to the board.
Damn it.
You promised me.
I did not promise A study where a naked woman mounts a mechanical phallus! What we've done here is revolutionary.
You know it is.
It's not just the technology.
The new data we're collecting dispels years of myths about how a woman's body anticipates sex.
We've already debunked many established theories, plus charted clear-cut stages of sexual response four in all.
We're starting to see that some women are capable of multiple orgasms.
Why does your secretary keep talking to me? I already gave you my answer.
It's not an answer I can accept.
I've made this hospital a fortune.
Our patient base has tripled.
We're ranked second in the country.
Our donors can't write checks fast enough, in large part because of me.
I got us to where we are now.
And this study, this is where we're going.
This is the future.
But if you won't support me in in blazing that trail, then I'll find another hospital that will.
Dangerous game you're playing.
Oh, it's not a game.
I need an answer by the end of today.
He's not gonna call.
Ethan, I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
You're not even dressed yet.
Is this about the nicu benefit? For God's sake, Ethan, go ahead.
Gini can come with Libby and me later.
Libby's had me over twice this week.
I'm sure she'd like time alone.
And I would like a date.
So I can wait another 15 minutes.
Well, we have another hour here at least.
I'll meet you there.
Okay? See you there.
I thought you'd broken that off.
Broken what off? We're friends.
Because our professionalism and standards have to be beyond reproach, Virginia.
You know, this is not research into kidney disease, which might survive some incident of inner-departmental scandal.
This study is the scandal.
So even a hint of impropriety could derail all our work now, everything that's to come.
I understand you're upset about Scully.
I'm not talking about Scully! Now, given that every museum in the world is filled with art created from this basic impulse, the greatest literature The most beautiful music.
The study of sex is the study of the beginning of all life, and science holds the key.
Yet we sit huddled in the dark like prudish cavemen, filled with shame and and Guilt when the truth is, nobody understands sex.
And now nobody will.
It's late.
Let's go.
Masters.
I'm just so happy that you and barton made up.
It wasn't exactly valentines and roses.
But bill can be very persuasive, as you know.
I persuaded her to marry me.
And now I'm persuading her to find some champagne so we can celebrate.
I'll go with you, lib.
It's a good day.
Would you have done it? Leave, I mean? Scully's the one that folded.
I don't have to show my hand.
I've been asking around about langham.
He's married, but he's also had affairs.
Apparently, nurses are his weakness.
Maybe I should talk to him.
You? - Langham's a doctor.
- So are you.
I insinuated my way in with you easily enough.
You're forgetting that I picked you for this job.
If that's what you need to tell yourself.
See if you can get him away from his wife.
I'll find you later.
And then you have to lay there, you know, with your legs up around your ears, everything completely exposed.
It hurts, like cramping, only worse.
They've taken my blood so many times, one of my veins has collapsed.
Lib, all of the pain it will all be worth it.
I promise.
Honestly I think he needs it more than I do.
I mean, not the poking and prodding, of course, but the baby.
Bill appreciates me.
Having a wife grounds him, I think.
But a child? A child could really change him.
Anyway, it annoys him to no end, but I do apologize every day.
Here he is, this brilliant doctor, stuck with a barren wife.
I'll be back in one moment.
You wanted to know what was going on in room 5.
That, um Exceeded my expectations.
I'm flattered, although, honestly, I don't think I could stand there and, you know, wank off while people are watching.
That's not what this is.
The phase we're considering you for is couples.
Coup couples? Dear God.
M-my wife barely lets me see her naked.
We don't mean you and your wife.
I'm in the process of recruiting several new female volunteers.
Which females? We preserve the anonymity of all of our volunteers.
But I already have a secretary, and I've spoken with a nurse and a hospital administrator's wife.
Come on.
Only hookers and insane co-eds would agree to this.
I resent that.
Have you signed on? I am Dr.
Masters' associate.
Otherwise, I would have no reservations about volunteering.
All of our subjects know they're advancing the cause of science.
These are young, good-looking women.
Austin, trust me on this.
I don't know.
This whole thing feels like Christmas or something.
Gini! I need to talk to you.
Hello, Ethan.
We're working here.
Yes, your wife told me.
Your wife, who's been standing by herself at the bar the last 20 minutes.
I'll be back in a moment, gentlemen.
But, yes Merry Christmas to us all.
Ethan, let go of me! You're hurting me! No! Tell me! You can't answer, can you? How many times have we slept together? Just come back inside with me.
It's not that tough a question.
How many times have you let me fuck you? We are not going to have this conversation now.
When is a good time, Virginia? Because I haven't seen you in weeks.
You see me every day.
I haven't seen you alone! You work late every night! You ride home now - with that bow-tied asshole! - Shh! I come over, I get some bullshit excuse.
It's not an excuse.
I'm busy.
The study is expa I don't care about the study! Please.
Don't do this.
Don't not talk to me.
Just tell me.
- What?! - Tell me What? Tell you what? That I don't like being dragged out here in the cold when you're drunk and insulting? Why would I insult you when you're all I think about?! I have been in your bed.
I have been inside you.
Please.
What am I not doing? Or doing too much of? You know, what can I do better? Ethan, please.
You are my friend.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Do not say "friend.
" You are! You are my friend! Friends don't fuck, Virginia.
Lovers do.
People in love with each other, they do.
I care about you, Ethan.
But you don't love me.
You'll make love to me.
You'll let me do anything, everything to you.
It's because I like it, because you like it.
I do it because I love you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
That was never my intention.
That's enough! Fine.
Fine.
Wear the lab coat, Virginia.
Run the study.
Play doctor all you want.
At the end of the day, all you really are is a whore.
Mrs.
May.
Are you all right? I'm going to have a baby.
Another baby.
That is such happy news.
So, so happy.
Oh! Once you two get settled, I will attach the leads.
While we just lay there naked? There's a sheet, if you're feeling shy.
We'll see how it goes.
That's the fun of being first.
Fun! Hi.
Nice to meet you.
I'm, uh Anonymous.
What a coincidence.
I'm anonymous, too.
I'll take your gowns.
Make yourselves comfortable on the bed.
Now, there really are no rules in terms of what you can and can't do.
You simply need to move through all four stages so we can monitor the response.
We start with excitement.
- Moving right along To plateau, which is usually intercourse, but can also be more foreplay.
Then orgasmic That's self-explanatory, I think.
Ending with refractory, the body's physiological reflexes returning back to normal.
All of this comes very naturally, so I wouldn't get too in your head about it.
Too late for that.
Your other head.
And, uh, all the wires? I would advise going slowly.
More fun that way.
Now, whenever you two are ready.
Your cheekbone is bruised.
Watch out for open medicine cabinets.
You can go like like this.
Can I kiss you? Oh! You know, I think we did meet once Dr.
Shaw's birthday party.
Right.
You were the one with clothes on.
I do have one concern About the possibility of sexual transference between us and our patients.
We're going to be watching couples have sex, and those couples know we're watching them.
But the likelihood of us transferring all this libidinous energy onto our patients is high.
Is this something you're struggling with? No, but I could see the beginnings of it already between you and langham.
He was flirting with you - What? - And you responded.
I was trying to make him feel comfortable.
He was sitting there with an erection.
Which is why we need to implement a system, uh, that ensures this kind of transference doesn't occur.
It didn't occur.
So you won't object to devising a-a system that avoids any doctor/patient conflict.
I won't object, but why don't you just come out and say whatever it is you're trying to say? The two of us should undertake the research ourselves.
Have sex with our patients? Bill, that would be transference.
We should undertake the research with each other.
I've considered this carefully, and I-I realized it's the best way to ensure the longevity of the project.
We get the benefit of interpreting the data firsthand, plus, it deflects any inappropriate projection away from our patients.
Keeps it just between us.
Can I take the weekend to think about this? Of course.
All right.
Good night, then.
Good night.