Meadowlands s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
New house, new life, new us, eh? Welcome to Meadowlands.
Well? What d'you think? Yeah, it's it's nice.
Oh, come on.
It's better than nice, isn't it? It's got a massive kitchen.
Look, Mark, it says that every room is wired for sound.
That's good, isn't it? Happy days? Yeah.
Unforgettable.
Where's my room? - Mark, not me.
- Zoe? What? Come on, mate, let's try and find it, shall we? Hello.
Look at all this, eh? Not bad.
All this is yours, mate, so use it wisely, eh? You've got to admit, the old man always pulls it out the bag.
No, Zoe, wait.
Hiya! I'm Brenda, your neighbour, welcome, welcome.
Meadowlands is a sunny place.
And I love it here because, well I'm a sunny person.
I've been so happy since I got here.
Even though I lost me husband many years ago.
I've still got Jezebel.
Who's Jezebel? Your cat? No.
Jezzy's me daughter.
And she's beautiful and I'm sure you and her, Zoe, are gonna be the best of pals.
But you mustn't grow an inferiority complexion vol-au-vent Jezebel.
In fact you know what, you'll probably get more attention from boys.
Because Jezzy's so beautiful she's, uh totally unattainable, whereas you, Zoe, you're much more, well, tainable, aren't you? - Hi? - Oh, hiya! You must be Danny.
I'm Brenda, your neighbour.
Oh, hi, Brenda, pleased to meet you.
Seeing as you're a neighbour, you can be the 1st person invited to our housewarming.
Sunday, 6 P.
M.
I love parties.
They're just so natural, aren't they? - How did she know our names? - I don't know.
She's obviously the neighbourhood intelligence gatherer, isn't she? And we're having a housewarming? Yeah, sorry about that it was a spontaneous idea.
Morning, fellas.
Sorry, this is a no smoking area.
You should leave.
This will make a great bath.
We can knock down this partition wall, give us a bit more space, eh? Yep.
I suppose.
I was thinking of you know, asking Mark to give me a hand.
Bring him out of himself.
It's not about bringing him out of himself.
He'll be fine.
Look.
We can't have shrinks and doctors getting into our life right now, can we? Mark just needs a bit of time.
That's all.
And we need a bar around here.
Danny and Evelyn Brogan, I'm detective sergeant Wintersgill.
Oh, hi.
And yes.
I would love to come to the housewarming.
Sunday, 6 P.
M, I believe? Who needs the worldwide web when you've got B.
O.
? - Excuse me? - Brenda Ogilvie.
Your neighbor.
Right.
Morning! Who are you? This This is me.
"Jack, open brackets, of all trades, "close brackets, Donnelly.
- "General Handyman.
" - Oh, yeah.
Jack of all trades.
- Hilarious.
- You know, I do all kinds of things.
I do joinery, heating plumbing.
Maybe I prefer D.
I.
Y.
Well, it's not really a D.
I.
Y.
kind of town.
So, what's there to do around here, then? Where's somewhere I can meet people? Find out what makes them tick.
You You don't get to come to them, They come to you, that's how it works around here.
But in the meantime I specialize in tongue and groove.
It's me, Zoe.
My bedside bulb's gone out and I'm all silly and helpless at D.
I.
Y.
I think I need to be serviced by a professional.
What? Now? No, how about you and your id swing past tomorrow afternoon? Two o'clock? You can revive my filament in situ.
- In what? - In my bedroom.
Fix my bedroom light, in my bedroom.
Night, then, Jack of all trades.
Bye, baby.
What are you looking for? A sorry? You've started, so you you finish.
It's a bit like living in the past.
Nothing wrong with living in the past, is there? Yeah, suppose I grew up in a bit of a fiction not fact, eh? It's a good habit to get into.
I only care about you and the kids, you know that.
Nothing else matters.
You know that, don't you? I know.
Eddie.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! How many times, eh? Eddie Foy is dead, we killed him.
No, we didn't kill him, you did.
I loved Eddie Foy.
Marisa! Sean! Come here! Come on! Morning.
Bacon, eh? That's my second favorite smell.
- You want some porridge, Marky? - Sit down.
No, your porridge is shit! Excuse me, new life, would you mind not doing that? - Mind not doing what? - Mystical twin thing.
How about you let him speak for himself for once.
How about he is speaking for himself? What are you reading, Mark? God, someone got out of the wrong side of the sperm sponge this morning.
Just finish your breakfast, you.
Then you can get on the Internet order some food and drink for this party, all right? That is a done deal, Danoid.
She your genes or mine? So I'll see you at the bar about 2 o'clock, yeah? Baby, I've decided I don't wanna help you with the bar this time.
What ya talking about? You always help me with the bar.
I know, but, like you say, all of this is a new start, and I really need some time to myself.
You know, the big swim in the lake me.
Should we, uh go for a coffee, talk about it? Nope, thought I'd do some shopping.
Whereabouts? Nearest decent place, you know.
They've got shops here.
There's a limited supply of retailer outlets.
- That ain't shops.
- You can shop online.
I don't wanna shop online.
- I want to get out of here! - You can't.
Why? We're in the middle of nowhere.
No, we are not in the middle of nowhere, do you understand? There is here and there's out there.
And out there, nothing good can happen.
Do you get me? What are you saying? That we're stuck here all day every day, forever? - It's not forever it's just- - How long? A month? A year? Five years? Just until we're safe, ok? You didn't tell me this before.
- I'm telling you now.
- Bullshit! You're doing it again, you're lying to me.
- I am not lying- - Lying by omission, Danny! It's what you do all the time now, Just like you didn't tell me you were taking money from that fucking maniac Casey - to finance your stupid bar! - Shut up! Could we keep our carbon dioxide emissions down a bit please, folks? I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry, be quiet.
I'm busy.
What's the problem? My wife.
Come in.
Right, if you'd just like to take a seat, Mrs- Brogan.
You told me Evelyn would settle in.
Yeah, well she doesn't really settle, she sort of plunges.
Maybe she needs a job? Well, she she doesn't want a job.
She wants to be a wife and mother? No, she is a wife and mother.
She just wants more time to herself, You know, a big swim in lake me.
A what? I don't know what she wants.
Maybe a new project.
In the motherhood line.
So, how can I, uh- - What seems to be the problem? - It's my son.
Mark? - Yes.
- Oh, your family's medical records.
Fast-tracked from your old G.
P.
Everythipyng's fast-tracked in Meadowlands.
Mark Brogan.
Here.
"Mark Brogan, aged 17.
" That's quite a list of diagnoses.
A.
D.
D.
, O.
D.
D.
, O.
C.
D.
, high functioning autism, post-traumatic stress disorder and- And he hasn't he hasn't spoken for four months.
My husband doesn't know that I'm here about this, ok? He doesn't trust the psychological stuff.
I understand, but- You don't tell a man dying of cancer to pull himself together and get out more, do you? You know, last year for my birthday I was thirty something, And Mark, he- He took me to dinner and then to the opera.
Tosca.
Oh, we sat all night and chatted and- He was only 16 and he organized all of that and I mean, it's not just him not speaking.
I miss him, I really miss my little boy.
And everything's changed since that bloody fire.
Nothing here about a fire.
We all have a past.
I'd be happy to see your son.
Jack of all trades.
So where's this bulb needs fixing? In my bedroom.
Nice.
Let's go price the job.
Take a seat through there, I'll bring it down.
Sure, you're the boss.
I know.
Here you are, Jack.
Today's intellectual hot potato.
All trades, have you got an erection? You didn't tell me that you had a sister.
The little cutie with black gloves? That's my twin brother, you idiot.
And you, you got a stalky! You, upstairs, now.
Now! You stay the fuck away from my daughter Do you understand? Look.
If she is old enough to bleed, then she is old enough to butcher.
What's up with our lovely daughter? We had a falling out, you know what she's like.
I'm staying here with the kids, you know, - If the kids aren't happy- - Well, they are happy.
They will be happy.
I don't understand how they can be, there's a big world out there they're gonna want- Look, give me break, will you? Not everything bad that's happened is my fault.
Really? How about opening a bar you couldn't finance or- I don't remember you moaning when the money was rolling in and you were off on those two grand weekends with your mates.
Remember the vows we took, eh? May 25th, 1988, in that field in Wiltshire.
I asked you to marry me and you said yes.
I thought we were forgetting about the past.
Jack Donnelly.
You know, I don't want to make a big deal out of it but that's my daughter Zoe.
You know, she's only 17.
And she thinks she can handle Jack? But Jack strikes you as mad, bad and dangerous to know? I'll have a quiet word.
If we're a player short for football tonight.
Nothing too serious, just a few middle-aged guys wrestling with their midlife crises.
- Yeah, sure, no problem.
- Yeah? Great.
- Midnight, leisure centre.
- Midnight? It's a Meadowlands thing.
Midnight footie.
- Where are you going? - I'm going to town.
No, you're not, we're going shopping, out of town.
- But dad said- - Never mind what dad said, are you in or out? - Hey, Cassius! Stop! - In.
- Oh, hiya! - Hi, Brenda.
Going shopping, do you want to come? Shopping? Where? Nearest town.
I do all my shopping online.
There's 14 shopping channels on- We could go for cocktails.
No.
I don't like cocktails.
Just end up hating men and crying in the toilets.
Maybe you could bring Jezebel.
Jezebel can't come.
She's in purgatory.
At the leisure centre.
Purgatory.
Comprehensive residential three-day starvation, detox and cleansing regime.
Don't go.
I don't like being on my own.
I mean, I'm just not comfortable being on me own.
All right, Brenda, we'll be back soon.
Come on, darling.
See ya! Nice gloves.
Red's nice.
I like red.
I've got a nice green pair of gloves like that.
Red and green, seldom seen, eh? I'd better go.
Kettle's- So do you think Jezebel really exists? Or is she just a figment of brenda's fervid imagination? What'd you think, hon? - About what? - Everything.
Our new life? I mean, how would you feel if we moved somewhere else, you and your brother? - Move where? - I don't know, abroad? What about dad? Well, yeah.
Ugly, isn't it? I forgot how ugly everything was.
Nicky? Hiya! Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it.
What are you doing here? Sorry, I- I don't know you.
Yes, you do.
We met 3 years ago, at Susie's party.
I don't know a susie.
Susie Ashford? Your best friend.
I'm Kerry, her cousin.
I mean, we were all pissed on cider and we only met the once but it was you that made us go to the other party and then we got lost and your dad, he spent all night looking for you.
Come on, you must remember that, Nicky.
Three years ago, at Susie's party? Susie Ashford? I'm sorry, I don't know you.
You're Nicky Foy.
I'm not Nicky Foy.
My name is Zoe Brogan, ok? So just fuck off.
- Are you all right? - She said that she knew me, she said some story about being with me once and I don't know who she was.
It's all right, darling.
- Can we go back? - You're all right.
Can we just go back to Meadowlands? So are we, uh- we're playing the head-height rule? Don't be daft.
None of this lot have the ball skills.
And are we uh, zonal Marking or man-for-man? Above your head.
That's it.
- Man-for-man, I think.
- Stretch it out.
- You take Jack.
- Come on.
Let's get the sleep out of the legs.
Right.
Come on, lads.
Get around those posts! Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Come on, man! Over here! - Take it! All in! Come on, lads.
Just get the legs working! Great goal, Jack! Watch it! Watch it! To me! To me! To me! - Man on, Danny.
- To the left, to the left! - Mark him! - Nice one, nice one.
- Oh, fucking hell! - Cool it, Jack! He was just too quick for me.
- You ok, Danny? - Referee! - Yeah.
- Sort it out.
Come on.
Sorry about that.
Hey, there! Go on, go on! Yes! Yes! To me! Oh, dear me.
- Get up, Danny.
- Come on, lads, it's a training session! - Go on, go on! - Yes! Come on! Come on.
Through the middle.
Yeah! Come on! Through! - Take it! Take it! - Come on! Come on! Come on, Jack! Man on! To me! To me! To me! Come on, come on, take it! Zoe's a nice girl.
Control yourself.
Game over.
Jack? Shit! He's not moving! Turn him over! Oh, fuck.
What the fuck was that? Just keeping your daughter's purity intact.
You were supposed to be having a quiet word.
What if he brings charges, eh? There won't be any charges.
You're safe here.
You, Donnelly, all of you.
So safe.
Eddie.
Samantha! Shit.
Where's Samantha? I'm sorry, but without an appointment, - I can't actually permit you access - No, look, - to this area.
- I'd like to see Samantha.
If you'd like to schedule an appointment I'd be more than- Okay, first thing tomorrow.
Had a bad day? He knows! He fucking knows! Who's he? And what does he know? Wintersgill, he knows- He knows I'm Eddie Foy.
He's the local cop.
He had to told.
No, no way, that was not the fucking deal.
- If that psycho knows, then- - Forget it, Danny.
You're staying in Meadowlands, it's the safest place on earth.
Why? Why is it so safe, eh? Samantha, my wife is hardly talking to me.
Now, I neay lost my family.
If I do lose them then I'll have nothing else to lose, now do you understand me? You'd better come in.
I give you the truth, you keep your family in line.
Do you understand? Ever noticed that the only books your dad ever reads are manuals? Hey, sweetheart.
You gonna come to the party tonight? - Boring, boring, boring! - Zoe, please.
What is your problem? It's just a line of communication.
You should be thanking me.
For god's sake.
He's never gonna speak to me! Maybe he doesn't want to speak to you.
Mum.
Mark? Come to the party tonight, you might enjoy it.
Please? Please? Please speak to me.
Please, Sean.
Please speak to me.
Please.
Please speak to me.
Please speak to me.
Please speak to me.
Please, Sean.
We need more ice.
That would be my job, eh? Enjoyed your shopping trip? Yes, thank you, Brenda.
What can I get for you, Brenda? You looking for another sausage? No, I was just wondering, you know your son, Mark, um Why does he wear those gloves all the time? He had a cooking accident.
February 3rd last year.
Isn't he coming to the party? Your daughter Jezebel, isn't she coming? No, Mark's not coming, he's uh- He's very adolescent.
Yeah.
I know.
God.
When Jezebel was 15, she was a total nightmare.
Beautiful people are very highly strung, you know? Well, maybe you don't know, not having a beautiful daughter yourself, but- Not that Zoe's not averagely pretty, but you know Jezebel's majorly beautiful.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh, Brenda? What apple? What tree? Excuse me, Brenda.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Uh, I love you.
- Um, I brought meringues.
- I made them myself.
Lots of cream.
David? Oh, yes, This is my uh, my Abigail.
My wife, my wife.
Abigail, this is, this is- - Mrs.
Brogan.
- Evelyn.
It's really nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
David? - Shall we? - Oh, yes.
See you later.
You all right, pops? You know, you stay away from unsuitable boyfriends and you'll make a great politician.
You really know how to work a room.
I get it all from you, dansker.
It's in the genes.
Come here.
I'm happy here, dad, I like being Zoe Brogan.
Thanks.
I'm gonna lose her, you know.
How many times have you said that? Just give her time.
Great party.
Oh by the way, Jack Donnelly sends his apologies, he got a little knock at footie last night.
Groin strain, I believe.
But Jack now understands that no man is an island entire unto itself.
Especially not in this quiet little corner of heaven we call Meadowlands.
The past is not just another country.
It's another planet.
What an enigmatic fool.
Um, listen up, everybody! Listen up, folks! Ok, I think it's about time we gave our new family, The brogans, our special Meadowlands welcome, don't you? - Lori? - Ok, ok.
We all know the moves so you go after me.
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
You think this is funny? I do! I think it's fuckin' hilarious.
I mean, look at them.
All of them, they're just like us.
What? Miserable, paranoid and dysfunctional? They're all on witness protection.
Brenda.
Wintersgill.
Freddie and Lori.
- Doctor York? - Yeah the doc, the cop, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick fucking maker, don't you see? We are off the radar here, babe.
Yeah, nobody even knows the Brogans exist.
Great.
We get to spend god knows how long with a bunch of fucking criminals.
Thanks, Danny.
Hey, what's going on? Listen everybody, everybody, Jezebel's coming! - Jezebel's here! - Jezebel's back? Jezebel's back again Isn't she lovely? Look at her, isn't she just fabulous? Could you get me bags, mum? I'm a little delicate after purgatory.
Of course, Jezzie.
First of all I want you to meet our lovely new neighbours.
This is Danny, this is Evelyn, Zoe, and- Uh, Mark.
You're beautiful.
My name's Mark, mum, Mark Brogan.
One-nil to Meadowlands.
Shall we join them? Let's.
Does this look like a fuckin'n s to you? You go.
Tonight.
And you tell no one what's happening.
Tonight, it's just been magical.
Danny, this is our new neighbor, Mr.
Ormond.
They've found me! They've fuckin' found me! - Ok, just cool it.
- Listen! I recognize him.
Well? What d'you think? Yeah, it's it's nice.
Oh, come on.
It's better than nice, isn't it? It's got a massive kitchen.
Look, Mark, it says that every room is wired for sound.
That's good, isn't it? Happy days? Yeah.
Unforgettable.
Where's my room? - Mark, not me.
- Zoe? What? Come on, mate, let's try and find it, shall we? Hello.
Look at all this, eh? Not bad.
All this is yours, mate, so use it wisely, eh? You've got to admit, the old man always pulls it out the bag.
No, Zoe, wait.
Hiya! I'm Brenda, your neighbour, welcome, welcome.
Meadowlands is a sunny place.
And I love it here because, well I'm a sunny person.
I've been so happy since I got here.
Even though I lost me husband many years ago.
I've still got Jezebel.
Who's Jezebel? Your cat? No.
Jezzy's me daughter.
And she's beautiful and I'm sure you and her, Zoe, are gonna be the best of pals.
But you mustn't grow an inferiority complexion vol-au-vent Jezebel.
In fact you know what, you'll probably get more attention from boys.
Because Jezzy's so beautiful she's, uh totally unattainable, whereas you, Zoe, you're much more, well, tainable, aren't you? - Hi? - Oh, hiya! You must be Danny.
I'm Brenda, your neighbour.
Oh, hi, Brenda, pleased to meet you.
Seeing as you're a neighbour, you can be the 1st person invited to our housewarming.
Sunday, 6 P.
M.
I love parties.
They're just so natural, aren't they? - How did she know our names? - I don't know.
She's obviously the neighbourhood intelligence gatherer, isn't she? And we're having a housewarming? Yeah, sorry about that it was a spontaneous idea.
Morning, fellas.
Sorry, this is a no smoking area.
You should leave.
This will make a great bath.
We can knock down this partition wall, give us a bit more space, eh? Yep.
I suppose.
I was thinking of you know, asking Mark to give me a hand.
Bring him out of himself.
It's not about bringing him out of himself.
He'll be fine.
Look.
We can't have shrinks and doctors getting into our life right now, can we? Mark just needs a bit of time.
That's all.
And we need a bar around here.
Danny and Evelyn Brogan, I'm detective sergeant Wintersgill.
Oh, hi.
And yes.
I would love to come to the housewarming.
Sunday, 6 P.
M, I believe? Who needs the worldwide web when you've got B.
O.
? - Excuse me? - Brenda Ogilvie.
Your neighbor.
Right.
Morning! Who are you? This This is me.
"Jack, open brackets, of all trades, "close brackets, Donnelly.
- "General Handyman.
" - Oh, yeah.
Jack of all trades.
- Hilarious.
- You know, I do all kinds of things.
I do joinery, heating plumbing.
Maybe I prefer D.
I.
Y.
Well, it's not really a D.
I.
Y.
kind of town.
So, what's there to do around here, then? Where's somewhere I can meet people? Find out what makes them tick.
You You don't get to come to them, They come to you, that's how it works around here.
But in the meantime I specialize in tongue and groove.
It's me, Zoe.
My bedside bulb's gone out and I'm all silly and helpless at D.
I.
Y.
I think I need to be serviced by a professional.
What? Now? No, how about you and your id swing past tomorrow afternoon? Two o'clock? You can revive my filament in situ.
- In what? - In my bedroom.
Fix my bedroom light, in my bedroom.
Night, then, Jack of all trades.
Bye, baby.
What are you looking for? A sorry? You've started, so you you finish.
It's a bit like living in the past.
Nothing wrong with living in the past, is there? Yeah, suppose I grew up in a bit of a fiction not fact, eh? It's a good habit to get into.
I only care about you and the kids, you know that.
Nothing else matters.
You know that, don't you? I know.
Eddie.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! How many times, eh? Eddie Foy is dead, we killed him.
No, we didn't kill him, you did.
I loved Eddie Foy.
Marisa! Sean! Come here! Come on! Morning.
Bacon, eh? That's my second favorite smell.
- You want some porridge, Marky? - Sit down.
No, your porridge is shit! Excuse me, new life, would you mind not doing that? - Mind not doing what? - Mystical twin thing.
How about you let him speak for himself for once.
How about he is speaking for himself? What are you reading, Mark? God, someone got out of the wrong side of the sperm sponge this morning.
Just finish your breakfast, you.
Then you can get on the Internet order some food and drink for this party, all right? That is a done deal, Danoid.
She your genes or mine? So I'll see you at the bar about 2 o'clock, yeah? Baby, I've decided I don't wanna help you with the bar this time.
What ya talking about? You always help me with the bar.
I know, but, like you say, all of this is a new start, and I really need some time to myself.
You know, the big swim in the lake me.
Should we, uh go for a coffee, talk about it? Nope, thought I'd do some shopping.
Whereabouts? Nearest decent place, you know.
They've got shops here.
There's a limited supply of retailer outlets.
- That ain't shops.
- You can shop online.
I don't wanna shop online.
- I want to get out of here! - You can't.
Why? We're in the middle of nowhere.
No, we are not in the middle of nowhere, do you understand? There is here and there's out there.
And out there, nothing good can happen.
Do you get me? What are you saying? That we're stuck here all day every day, forever? - It's not forever it's just- - How long? A month? A year? Five years? Just until we're safe, ok? You didn't tell me this before.
- I'm telling you now.
- Bullshit! You're doing it again, you're lying to me.
- I am not lying- - Lying by omission, Danny! It's what you do all the time now, Just like you didn't tell me you were taking money from that fucking maniac Casey - to finance your stupid bar! - Shut up! Could we keep our carbon dioxide emissions down a bit please, folks? I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry, be quiet.
I'm busy.
What's the problem? My wife.
Come in.
Right, if you'd just like to take a seat, Mrs- Brogan.
You told me Evelyn would settle in.
Yeah, well she doesn't really settle, she sort of plunges.
Maybe she needs a job? Well, she she doesn't want a job.
She wants to be a wife and mother? No, she is a wife and mother.
She just wants more time to herself, You know, a big swim in lake me.
A what? I don't know what she wants.
Maybe a new project.
In the motherhood line.
So, how can I, uh- - What seems to be the problem? - It's my son.
Mark? - Yes.
- Oh, your family's medical records.
Fast-tracked from your old G.
P.
Everythipyng's fast-tracked in Meadowlands.
Mark Brogan.
Here.
"Mark Brogan, aged 17.
" That's quite a list of diagnoses.
A.
D.
D.
, O.
D.
D.
, O.
C.
D.
, high functioning autism, post-traumatic stress disorder and- And he hasn't he hasn't spoken for four months.
My husband doesn't know that I'm here about this, ok? He doesn't trust the psychological stuff.
I understand, but- You don't tell a man dying of cancer to pull himself together and get out more, do you? You know, last year for my birthday I was thirty something, And Mark, he- He took me to dinner and then to the opera.
Tosca.
Oh, we sat all night and chatted and- He was only 16 and he organized all of that and I mean, it's not just him not speaking.
I miss him, I really miss my little boy.
And everything's changed since that bloody fire.
Nothing here about a fire.
We all have a past.
I'd be happy to see your son.
Jack of all trades.
So where's this bulb needs fixing? In my bedroom.
Nice.
Let's go price the job.
Take a seat through there, I'll bring it down.
Sure, you're the boss.
I know.
Here you are, Jack.
Today's intellectual hot potato.
All trades, have you got an erection? You didn't tell me that you had a sister.
The little cutie with black gloves? That's my twin brother, you idiot.
And you, you got a stalky! You, upstairs, now.
Now! You stay the fuck away from my daughter Do you understand? Look.
If she is old enough to bleed, then she is old enough to butcher.
What's up with our lovely daughter? We had a falling out, you know what she's like.
I'm staying here with the kids, you know, - If the kids aren't happy- - Well, they are happy.
They will be happy.
I don't understand how they can be, there's a big world out there they're gonna want- Look, give me break, will you? Not everything bad that's happened is my fault.
Really? How about opening a bar you couldn't finance or- I don't remember you moaning when the money was rolling in and you were off on those two grand weekends with your mates.
Remember the vows we took, eh? May 25th, 1988, in that field in Wiltshire.
I asked you to marry me and you said yes.
I thought we were forgetting about the past.
Jack Donnelly.
You know, I don't want to make a big deal out of it but that's my daughter Zoe.
You know, she's only 17.
And she thinks she can handle Jack? But Jack strikes you as mad, bad and dangerous to know? I'll have a quiet word.
If we're a player short for football tonight.
Nothing too serious, just a few middle-aged guys wrestling with their midlife crises.
- Yeah, sure, no problem.
- Yeah? Great.
- Midnight, leisure centre.
- Midnight? It's a Meadowlands thing.
Midnight footie.
- Where are you going? - I'm going to town.
No, you're not, we're going shopping, out of town.
- But dad said- - Never mind what dad said, are you in or out? - Hey, Cassius! Stop! - In.
- Oh, hiya! - Hi, Brenda.
Going shopping, do you want to come? Shopping? Where? Nearest town.
I do all my shopping online.
There's 14 shopping channels on- We could go for cocktails.
No.
I don't like cocktails.
Just end up hating men and crying in the toilets.
Maybe you could bring Jezebel.
Jezebel can't come.
She's in purgatory.
At the leisure centre.
Purgatory.
Comprehensive residential three-day starvation, detox and cleansing regime.
Don't go.
I don't like being on my own.
I mean, I'm just not comfortable being on me own.
All right, Brenda, we'll be back soon.
Come on, darling.
See ya! Nice gloves.
Red's nice.
I like red.
I've got a nice green pair of gloves like that.
Red and green, seldom seen, eh? I'd better go.
Kettle's- So do you think Jezebel really exists? Or is she just a figment of brenda's fervid imagination? What'd you think, hon? - About what? - Everything.
Our new life? I mean, how would you feel if we moved somewhere else, you and your brother? - Move where? - I don't know, abroad? What about dad? Well, yeah.
Ugly, isn't it? I forgot how ugly everything was.
Nicky? Hiya! Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it.
What are you doing here? Sorry, I- I don't know you.
Yes, you do.
We met 3 years ago, at Susie's party.
I don't know a susie.
Susie Ashford? Your best friend.
I'm Kerry, her cousin.
I mean, we were all pissed on cider and we only met the once but it was you that made us go to the other party and then we got lost and your dad, he spent all night looking for you.
Come on, you must remember that, Nicky.
Three years ago, at Susie's party? Susie Ashford? I'm sorry, I don't know you.
You're Nicky Foy.
I'm not Nicky Foy.
My name is Zoe Brogan, ok? So just fuck off.
- Are you all right? - She said that she knew me, she said some story about being with me once and I don't know who she was.
It's all right, darling.
- Can we go back? - You're all right.
Can we just go back to Meadowlands? So are we, uh- we're playing the head-height rule? Don't be daft.
None of this lot have the ball skills.
And are we uh, zonal Marking or man-for-man? Above your head.
That's it.
- Man-for-man, I think.
- Stretch it out.
- You take Jack.
- Come on.
Let's get the sleep out of the legs.
Right.
Come on, lads.
Get around those posts! Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Come on, man! Over here! - Take it! All in! Come on, lads.
Just get the legs working! Great goal, Jack! Watch it! Watch it! To me! To me! To me! - Man on, Danny.
- To the left, to the left! - Mark him! - Nice one, nice one.
- Oh, fucking hell! - Cool it, Jack! He was just too quick for me.
- You ok, Danny? - Referee! - Yeah.
- Sort it out.
Come on.
Sorry about that.
Hey, there! Go on, go on! Yes! Yes! To me! Oh, dear me.
- Get up, Danny.
- Come on, lads, it's a training session! - Go on, go on! - Yes! Come on! Come on.
Through the middle.
Yeah! Come on! Through! - Take it! Take it! - Come on! Come on! Come on, Jack! Man on! To me! To me! To me! Come on, come on, take it! Zoe's a nice girl.
Control yourself.
Game over.
Jack? Shit! He's not moving! Turn him over! Oh, fuck.
What the fuck was that? Just keeping your daughter's purity intact.
You were supposed to be having a quiet word.
What if he brings charges, eh? There won't be any charges.
You're safe here.
You, Donnelly, all of you.
So safe.
Eddie.
Samantha! Shit.
Where's Samantha? I'm sorry, but without an appointment, - I can't actually permit you access - No, look, - to this area.
- I'd like to see Samantha.
If you'd like to schedule an appointment I'd be more than- Okay, first thing tomorrow.
Had a bad day? He knows! He fucking knows! Who's he? And what does he know? Wintersgill, he knows- He knows I'm Eddie Foy.
He's the local cop.
He had to told.
No, no way, that was not the fucking deal.
- If that psycho knows, then- - Forget it, Danny.
You're staying in Meadowlands, it's the safest place on earth.
Why? Why is it so safe, eh? Samantha, my wife is hardly talking to me.
Now, I neay lost my family.
If I do lose them then I'll have nothing else to lose, now do you understand me? You'd better come in.
I give you the truth, you keep your family in line.
Do you understand? Ever noticed that the only books your dad ever reads are manuals? Hey, sweetheart.
You gonna come to the party tonight? - Boring, boring, boring! - Zoe, please.
What is your problem? It's just a line of communication.
You should be thanking me.
For god's sake.
He's never gonna speak to me! Maybe he doesn't want to speak to you.
Mum.
Mark? Come to the party tonight, you might enjoy it.
Please? Please? Please speak to me.
Please, Sean.
Please speak to me.
Please.
Please speak to me.
Please speak to me.
Please speak to me.
Please, Sean.
We need more ice.
That would be my job, eh? Enjoyed your shopping trip? Yes, thank you, Brenda.
What can I get for you, Brenda? You looking for another sausage? No, I was just wondering, you know your son, Mark, um Why does he wear those gloves all the time? He had a cooking accident.
February 3rd last year.
Isn't he coming to the party? Your daughter Jezebel, isn't she coming? No, Mark's not coming, he's uh- He's very adolescent.
Yeah.
I know.
God.
When Jezebel was 15, she was a total nightmare.
Beautiful people are very highly strung, you know? Well, maybe you don't know, not having a beautiful daughter yourself, but- Not that Zoe's not averagely pretty, but you know Jezebel's majorly beautiful.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh, Brenda? What apple? What tree? Excuse me, Brenda.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Uh, I love you.
- Um, I brought meringues.
- I made them myself.
Lots of cream.
David? Oh, yes, This is my uh, my Abigail.
My wife, my wife.
Abigail, this is, this is- - Mrs.
Brogan.
- Evelyn.
It's really nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
David? - Shall we? - Oh, yes.
See you later.
You all right, pops? You know, you stay away from unsuitable boyfriends and you'll make a great politician.
You really know how to work a room.
I get it all from you, dansker.
It's in the genes.
Come here.
I'm happy here, dad, I like being Zoe Brogan.
Thanks.
I'm gonna lose her, you know.
How many times have you said that? Just give her time.
Great party.
Oh by the way, Jack Donnelly sends his apologies, he got a little knock at footie last night.
Groin strain, I believe.
But Jack now understands that no man is an island entire unto itself.
Especially not in this quiet little corner of heaven we call Meadowlands.
The past is not just another country.
It's another planet.
What an enigmatic fool.
Um, listen up, everybody! Listen up, folks! Ok, I think it's about time we gave our new family, The brogans, our special Meadowlands welcome, don't you? - Lori? - Ok, ok.
We all know the moves so you go after me.
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
You think this is funny? I do! I think it's fuckin' hilarious.
I mean, look at them.
All of them, they're just like us.
What? Miserable, paranoid and dysfunctional? They're all on witness protection.
Brenda.
Wintersgill.
Freddie and Lori.
- Doctor York? - Yeah the doc, the cop, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick fucking maker, don't you see? We are off the radar here, babe.
Yeah, nobody even knows the Brogans exist.
Great.
We get to spend god knows how long with a bunch of fucking criminals.
Thanks, Danny.
Hey, what's going on? Listen everybody, everybody, Jezebel's coming! - Jezebel's here! - Jezebel's back? Jezebel's back again Isn't she lovely? Look at her, isn't she just fabulous? Could you get me bags, mum? I'm a little delicate after purgatory.
Of course, Jezzie.
First of all I want you to meet our lovely new neighbours.
This is Danny, this is Evelyn, Zoe, and- Uh, Mark.
You're beautiful.
My name's Mark, mum, Mark Brogan.
One-nil to Meadowlands.
Shall we join them? Let's.
Does this look like a fuckin'n s to you? You go.
Tonight.
And you tell no one what's happening.
Tonight, it's just been magical.
Danny, this is our new neighbor, Mr.
Ormond.
They've found me! They've fuckin' found me! - Ok, just cool it.
- Listen! I recognize him.