Melrose Place (2009) s01e01 Episode Script

Melrose Place 2009 Pilot Episode! - Don't even think about it.
- Of course not, baby.
So here's the thing.
Your client has gone from Inside the Actors Studio To outside of Coco de Ville Doing blow with somebody else's boyfriend.
We're agents, not baby-sitters.
She needs a new publicist.
- She needs me.
- Ella, Sydney's in trouble.
She keeps text-bombing me.
- I got to go.
- Got to lose that leash, dude.
- It's not like that.
I'll call you later.
- Hello! - Excuse me.
You're my ride.
- Here, cab it.
Who wants another shot? Come on, guys, where's my lobster? People are hungry.
- I need a lobster.
- Right here, Chef.
Right here.
- Stanley, pick up! - Auggie? Auggie?! - Not a good time, bro.
- Come back to the penthouse with me.
She seemed totally trashed.
- I can't.
Marcello's here tonight.
- You're the only one Who knows how to deal with her when she's like this.
Look, you get there and she's really in trouble, I'll find a way to get out of here.
Carol, I promise you, you're gonna be back On the dance floor in no time.
Thank you, Doctor.
What do we got? Got a female, resuscitated with fluid and oxygen.
Clearly ischemic changes on the 12 lead.
I'm sending her down to the cath lab now.
Well done, Yung.
I got it from here.
Hello? - Lauren, hey, where are you? - Where else? Is everything okay? Can you stop by the penthouse when you get off? I think she's in pretty bad shape.
Oh, I-I can't.
I'm working the graveyard shift at the pharmacy after this, But listen to me, David.
If you can't wake her up, or if her eyes don't dilate, Don't waste time calling me, okay? You got to call 911.
Syd? Syd? You came.
I thought I was going to have to be peeling you off the floor.
You're fine.
Not really.
Look, I know this is the last place you want to be right now, but I didn't know who else to call.
Something's happened.
I've done something really, really bad.
What else is new? I'm out of here.
David, please don't go.
After all your lies? - What do you expect? - I'm sorry.
I wish you'd known me when I first moved here.
We were like a family.
And I know it sounds stupid, but I thought if I came back, I could start over with a new family, And now everyone's abandoned me.
If you think you're going to make me Feel sorry for you, it's not going to happen.
I know you're angry.
And you have every right to be.
But, David, what we had togetherthat was real.
Syd, I have a life right now that doesn't include you, so So why are you here? Your feelings were just as real as mine.
You told me things you've never told anyone else before.
Things that could probably get you into a bit of trouble.
Are you threatening me? What do you want? Please, David.
Just stay.
No, that's okay.
It's okay.
Leave it on.
I'm getting up.
What's the occasion? You going to come downtown And help teach the Pledge of Allegiance to my first-graders? Or more likely, is the latest Halo going on sale? Oh, I wish.
No.
I have to finish editing the Huey Wedding today, Or Bridezilla's going to invade Tokyo, After she squashes me first.
And then I have to do this birthday shoot in Malibuski.
- Any plans this evening? - Uh, yeah.
Absolutely.
You know what tonight is.
What's on the agenda? Um, what else? It's the director's cut of Reservoir Dogs at the New Beverly.
It's a brand-new print.
You know how much I hate Tarantino.
No one said you had to go.
No green clovers? Oh, my God, there's not one green clover in here.
That happened yesterday, too.
You've been my boyfriend for how many years now? What? Is this a trick question? The answer is five, as of today.
Look, I don't expect you to remember arbitrary dates Like anniversaries, but last year, didn't you swear On the Lord of the Rings you'd never forget? Right.
That's a fair question.
And I'm going to answer it for you right now.
After much quiet contemplation, you know what I've realized? Every day is our anniversary.
Jonah, are you seriously cruising the movie channels In the middle of this conversation? This TV is totally fragged.
Happy five years, Riley Richmond.
Oh, yeah, one more thing.
Riley? Will you marry me? Oh, my God.
Sydney.
- Melrose Place - I should have come back with David.
Maybe I could have saved her.
You can't blame yourself, Auggie.
Hey, what did the police say? She was stabbed in the doorway, There was a struggle down the stairs, And she collapsed in the pool.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe that girl had to be the one to find her.
Poor thing.
She's lived here, what, 30 seconds? I mean, I know Sydney could sometimes Rub people the wrong way, but to think Someone could actually stick a knife in her.
Yeah, well, Karma sucks.
You stab enough people in the back, And eventually, you get a knife in your own.
Ella, she was just zipped into a body bag.
How about showing a shred of respect? Auggie shouldn't be alone.
I'm going to spend today with him, all right? - Yeah.
- Um, hello? The Gary Sarling party? The job that I got you? Ella, our landlord was murdered.
I'm sure the powers that be will understand.
Okay, look, Riley, we're not dealing with A room full of first graders here.
This is Hollywood.
And today your boyfriend has the opportunity To hand over his film to a three-time Oscar-winning producer.
Wait.
At his daughter's 18th birthday party? Isn't that a little tacky? It's how things get done.
And don't worry about Auggie, okay? He's been through a lot worse.
Trust me.
Violet, right? Hey, I'm Auggie.
I live over here in one.
Um, listen, I'm sorry You had to go through all this.
I've never seen a dead body before.
Did you know her pretty well? Yeah.
Yeah.
I, uh I met her four years ago at a church St.
Patrick's Day.
You must be pretty religious.
It was a meeting in the basement.
AA.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
She, um she busted me for not wearing green.
She was also the one who convinced me I could be a real chef.
I'm sorry.
Auggie, where's David? We know you entered her apartment Six hours before she was found dead.
I gather you were intimate with the victim? Look, I'm not saying a word until I get a lawyer.
Smart.
Seasoned vet.
Possession of cocaine, couple of assaults.
You drove a golf club into your roommate's jaw? Guess boarding school can get to you, huh? Douche bags get to me.
Me, too.
Must be nice having hotshot lawyers Get you off every time.
Daddy's got money, huh? Wish I had a pops like that.
I'm not sure you do.
Look, I didn't kill her, okay? I didn't even touch her.
Looks like you're free to go.
But don't go far.
Hey, O.
J.
Look, Ella, I knew you could pull strings But LAPD? That's huge.
What did you tell them? You couldn't have killed Sydney because you were at my place.
At 5:30 in the morning? Everybody's going to think that we hooked up.
Oh, so, it gives them something to Tweet about.
- What are you doing? -Hey! You're getting out of here, aren't you? Let's go.
You have the most beautiful eyes.
I bet you had the boys running circles around you.
I only had eyes for his father.
Am I not the luckiest mom in the world? My son flew all the way From Manhattan the minute he heard about me.
Well, I was cravian burrito from El Cholo anyway.
Um, in the two seconds that the cardiologist flew past, He mentioned it was just a minor heart attack? That's exactly right.
We'll run another stress test today, And you'll meet with a nutritionist, but Your echocardiogram looks pretty close to perfect.
See, you can go back to New York and finish your big deal.
I'm fine.
Mom, until you're out of the hospital,I'm not going anywhere.
Well, if your test come back normal We may in fact have to kick you out tomorrow.
Oh, that's great.
Excuse me.
Hey, Dad.
You were? When? Dad, why didn't you tell me? Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
The whole country is being laid off.
Okay, well, I'll I'll just have to cover tuition myself, then.
I-I know it's a lot of money, But I'll figure something out, Dad.
Dad, it's not your fault.
Dad Dad, stop.
Come on, it Okay.
Okay, I love you, too.
Seeing her in the pool like that How could that have happened? I know.
It's weird just, like, going about our day right now.
I don't have a choice.
Mr.
Hammock's covering my class until after recess, And that's less than 30 minutes.
You got me gas, right? Oh, my God, I was about to! I totally bricked.
I'm sorry.
No, it's my fault.
I should know not to ask you - a favor on your weekly comics run.
- Do you want this? - No, I got one.
- I'm so sorry.
Next time, I swear I'll make it up to you.
I'm talking windows washed, tire pressure checked.
I'm even going to throw in one Of those little pine tree air freshener things That goes in your rearview mirror.
Vanilla-- that's your favorite, right? Riley? What's the deal? Are you trying to build suspense here, Or are you going for mystery? What? I asked you a pretty monumental question this morning.
You're just kind of leaving me hanging here In sort of a big way.
I know, I'm sorry.
With everything that's happened this morning What's going on, Riley? Nothing.
It's just You've been able to mull this over for who knows how long Pretty much since, like, the day that I met you.
Then, how about giving me one day? It's not supposed to be a homework assignment.
You know it's a yes or no question.
Yeah, a big yes or no question.
Look, can we talk about this When I'm not halfway out the door? Oh, sure, yeah.
By all means, yeah, we can talk About this whenever you have time.
Whenever is convenient for you.
Okay.
So, would you like to tell me what really happened last night? I I went to Syd's to make sure she was okay.
We hit a bottle, I passed out, And when I came to, she was gone.
I'm going to miss her, El.
Well, that makes one of us.
Oh, and FYI, in order to back up Your airtight alibi, I had to tell everybody in the building The same thing I told the police.
El, you could get seriously busted.
Why are you doing this? David, you may be highly volatile And utterly irresponsible, But you, my friend, you're not a killer.
You never could've done this in a million years.
So you lied to the cops -Out of the goodness of your heart.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, you know what I think? I think that maybe I'm your alibi.
Yeah, right.
I'm a neat freak, remember? If I would've done it, I wouldn't have been so sloppy.
Geez, Sydney, Break and enter much? How could you, Ella? Isn't that what I should be saying, Considering you're sitting on my couch, drinking my vodka? Why did you tell David? He never needed to know.
David is my friend.
You were sleeping with his father.
What was I supposed to do? I thought I was your friend.
You were like a sister to me, Ella.
Who got you this apartment, Your first job? If it wasn't for me, you would still be wearing Juicy sweat suits With French tips and a bad dye job.
So, what, that makes me your indentured servant For the rest of my life? No.
I just never expected you to do that to me.
You have until the end of the month.
I want you out.
You're evicting me? You can't do that.
Actually, I can do a lot worse.
Just ask the people who used to live here.
Oh, what? Am I supposed to be scared of you? Probably.
Because when I'm through with you, You are going to leave L.
A.
the same way That you arrived-- A pathetic wannabe.
- El? El? - Yes? You having second thoughts? No, not at all.
- You called your dad? - Hell, no.
Get in the car.
Now.
Whatever you told the cops, That woman's a pathological liar.
Who's the liar, Dad? Were you ever planning On telling me you used to live in my building? It's a part of my life I choose to forget.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Helping Syd fake her death 11 years ago.
I wouldn't want to remember that, either.
I'm not the person I was back then.
You haven't changed.
You just cheated on your wife.
Hey, you know, I admit, I kind of freaked out When I found out that Syd came after me to get back at you, But when she told me how much better I was, It kind of made it all worth it.
I know it hasn't been easy for you.
When your mother died, your entire life changed Don't talk about my mother.
- I took you in.
- 'Cause I'm your son.
Oh, yeah, you spent 13 years denying I ever existed.
Don't even start with that.
Look at you.
Patek watch, the Prada.
You're getting your money somewhere.
You selling drugs again? Did your phone ring with me asking you for anything? No, so leave me the hell alone.
And why don't you go call your lawyer? 'Cause they're coming after you next.
All right, that's enough.
Get out.
Fine, I'm done.
Please tell me that reporter did not beat me here.
You think the dead landlord's a good enough excuse? Uh, maybe if you phrased it a little more delicately.
Anyway, since when is some debutante beach party A newsworthy event? Gary promised his daughter some ink in Us Weekly, And I am here to make that happen.
You bring your movie? Yeah, uh, look, El, I was thinking It might be a better strategy to have you hand him my film.
I mean, Sarling's your client.
Uh, yeah, exactly.
I'm his publicist.
He doesn't give a crap about what I think.
You're the artist, Jonah.
Own it.
Come on, people say no to me on, like, an hourly basis.
No one ever says no to you.
It's against the laws of physics.
Okay, Jonah, stop.
Listen to me.
You are a hugely talented filmmaker, And I'm not just saying that Because I'm your publicist, manager and agent.
You actually have A point of view, a take, something to actually say.
I don't know.
You're also The most charming human being I know.
Seriously.
All you have to do is just be yourself, And I promise you He won't be able to resist.
I asked Riley to marry me this morning.
Paging Dr.
Yung.
I'm sorry, bad time? No, not at all.
How's your mom? Ready to be released, thanks to you.
I mean, you could teach a class on bedside manner To most of the doctors around here.
I'm sure that'd go over real well.
Hey, can I, uh, take you to dinner tonight? You know, to thank you for everything.
Um, that that's completely unnecessary.
I'm just doing my job.
But you need to eat.
And something tells me a night away from cafeteria cuisine Might do you some good.
Um If I told you it was my mom's idea, would that mean anything? So, Ruby, you're finally legal now And you know what that means.
It's time to party! Cute, huh? Well, get used to looking 'Cause that's all you're going to be doing from here on out.
I thought you'd be happy for us.
Jonah You're 25 years old, A split-second away from being discovered.
Why even contemplate tying yourself down When you could have any girl that you want? I don't want any other girl.
I want Riley.
Ooh, I want her.
Travis, here.
Now, see, I don't get you, El.
That guy at Coal And then that couple at the farmer's market.
Don't you just want to meet someone And settle down and fall in love? You can love someone without declaring yourself Exclusive for the rest of your life.
I love love.
I just hate monogamy.
So Was Riley bawling like a newborn when she said yes? Well I-I mean, She didn't actually say yes yet.
What? She just needs some-some time to kind of ruminate.
Like 24 hours.
No big.
I don't know, Jonah.
If after five years, Riley even has a millisecond of doubt about you Says a lot, don't you think? You-you're busy.
No, no, it's fine.
What's going on? The police are still outside.
Have you heard anything more? Nothing.
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
I just, um It's I talked to my father today, And, um, he lost his job a while ago And he didn't want to tell me.
H-He missed a couple tuition payments, So now the university is telling me That I have to pay in full by the end of the semester Or they're going to kick me out.
Oh, honey.
If you need a loan, I'm sure we can all scrape something together.
Thank you.
That-that's sweet.
I mean, even Ella's being an awesome roommate And covering rent this month, But tuition there's-there's no way.
No way.
I worked so hard to get here, you know, Riley.
All my life, all I wanted was to be a doctor.
You are going to be a doctor, Lauren.
Apparently not in this lifetime.
And how's this for timing? A guy at the hospital asked me out to dinner tonight.
- Really? - Yeah.
You know what though? After everything that's happened today, I don't even feel like I want to go.
You have to go.
You haven't been out in forever, And making out with Auggie doesn't count.
Besides, I can see it in your eyes, you like this guy.
Yeah, he's cute.
But it doesn't matter.
I have one outfit And I have no heels to wear with it.
That's why God created neighbors with the same shoe size.
Come on, let's go raid my closet.
Riley Is this what I think it is? Oh, my God! Why didn't you say anything?! Well nothing's really official.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
I have to get back to the office.
Oh, Reservoir Dogs is at the New Beverly tonight.
There's Sarling.
- Come here.
- What? This is your shot.
No.
- I'll do it later.
- Go get him now.
Excuse me.
Mr.
Sarling? Ah, you want to shoot me, huh? Let me get a toothpick.
Oh, no.
I, uh, I just wanted to introduce myself.
I'm Jonah Miller.
I'm a filmmaker.
Not just a videographer, though.
I.
.
I make real films.
Oh, well, good for you.
What have you got there, EX-3? - Yeah, this thing is sick.
- I know.
You can shoot 60 frames per second.
Swap this out for the film lenses It's - Right.
- It's just my dream camera.
Yeah, I love it.
Anyway, uh, it just so happens I have a copy of my short film, Living In Reverse, on me, And, uh, I was wondering if I could leave it with you, If it's not too much trouble.
You're kidding me, right? No.
Not really.
I hire you to document my little girl's birthday party, And you're pimping your student film? It actually won the San Juan Puerto Rico Short Film Festival.
Stupid.
I know it's crazy.
I mean, you'd think after going out for five years I'd say yes before he even finished proposing, but I don't know.
Suddenly, I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff.
Riley, you guys are the most perfect couple I know.
I love him more than anything.
He makes every second of life so fun, So romantic.
The guy has a box of Legos in the closet - that he still plays with.
- He's an artist.
He needs inspiration.
He watches Saturday morning cartoons Before going off to play laser tag with David.
I just thought if I waited long enough, Eventually he'd, you know, become a grown-up.
I mean, how's he supposed to take care of a family If sometimes it feels like He can't even take care of himself? Bro, what the hell happened, man? Your dad come down and bail you out? Ella told the police I was with her all night.
- Yeah, well, you weren't.
- I know.
Guess she's a better friend than I thought.
David, what went down after you got there? I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know? I blacked out.
I You know how I get.
Aug, what if I did it? What? I was so pissed at her.
Yeah, but you would never hurt her.
Why not? I've hurt plenty of other people.
Look, man, I want answers, too.
I want someone to pay for what they did to her.
You didn't do this.
Okay? You're not a murderer.
Well, at least I have my health.
That guy's movies blow anyway.
I say let's eat his food and drink his liquor.
Excuse me, videographer.
I need you to get a shot of all the presents in the pool house.
Carmen arranged them in the number 18.
She is so creative.
Okay, Mrs.
Sarling.
Now this is filmmaking.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hey, honey.
Our son is so excited you're putting him to bed tonight.
Yeah, I'm just a mile away.
Tell Noah I'm going to read him Goodnight Moon When I get home.
I love you.
I love you, too.
What are you doing here? I want to let you know that David and I are through.
It's over.
It was a stupid thing to do.
I-I was lashing out, Trying to make you jealous.
I'm sorry.
I'm not thinking clearly.
Chalk it up to mixing pain medications.
It's been 11 years since your accident, Syd.
You need help.
I need you.
- No.
I'm a happily married man.
You knew that.
If you were happy, you wouldn't have called me.
You definitely wouldn't have been sleeping with me.
It was a mistake.
I was wrong.
And I'm sorry.
It was a terrible thing to do to you.
Michl.
I care about you too much to see you in a bad marriage.
If you're not going to talk to your wife, someone else has to.
I was always trying to make my father happy.
He'd take me to the football games, And I was bored out of my mind, but I pretended I loved it.
To this day, when he's around, I wear a Bengals sweatshirt.
I'm sorry, alcohol makes me ramble.
No, I love to hear you ramble.
Most of what I hear all day Are people trying to get something from me.
The Lauren Yung story, it's fascinating.
How about how about dessert back at my hotel? It's no pressure, it's just that they heard I was in the market for properties, So they-they upgraded me into this suite at is sweet.
Look, Toby, I really like you.
But I feel like we barely know each her.
And I'm.
.
I'm not a first date kind of girl.
I'm not normally a first date kind of guy, But a second date isn't in the cards.
I fly home tomorrow afternoon.
You'll be back to see your mom, right? No, I'm.
.
I'm moving Mom back to New York.
- I have kind of a radical idea here.
- How radical? Well, I couldn't help but get a peek at that fax today.
I-I know that school isn't cheap.
I also know that as far as first dates go, This one is pretty great.
So, um, what if I made a donation To the tuition fund of a future superstar doctor.
- $5,000? - What? What are you talking about? Ok, I-I know it sounds crazy, But if you think about it, we both win.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I'm at the Doheny, room 747, Like the plane.
Just think about it.
What's the rush? The lady said we could have some Pink berry.
I'll buy u a Popsicle on the way home, all right? Just hurry up.
Hey, buddy.
I thought before you left, I'd give you a few career tips.
Hey, do you mind? There's dessert inside.
Whatever you want.
Sure, thanks.
I love your movies.
Thanks.
So Where's the video? Uh, look, Mr.
Sarling, I promise, - You have nothing to worry about.
- Great, then give it to me.
It's just not that simple.
See, 'cause it's on the same video card As your wife's birthday toast And then Ruby blowing out the candles, so if I give this to you, Then that's not going to be on the DVD.
- And then your wife's going to freak out.
- Damn it.
No, Mr.
Sarling, I swear, As soon as I'm done editing, This is going to be deleted into the digital ether.
Your short film.
I'll buy it right now.
Ten grand.
- Wha - Okay.
Twenty.
You-you haven't seen my film.
Fine.
Fine.
Twenty-five.
Come on, right now, We close it, that is the end of it.
Gary.
What are you doing out here? I'm coming, hon.
And I'll hire you to write the feature, okay? $100,000 against three.
Gary! Gary, Ruby's about to leave with her friends.
We have to give her her present.
Now.
Call me.
- Come on.
Remember to use that Lady Gaga song.
Wow, look at you.
I've never seen you out of those doctor clothes.
II love those heels.
Yeah, they'rethey're not mine.
Is everything all right? I said something stupid, didn't I? No.
No.
No, you didn't.
II'm just Are you okay? No.
No, I'm not.
Came home and I found my landlord brutally murdered, And then I find out that I can't afford medical school.
And to cap off the evening, I think I just had the most disturbing Dating experience of my life.
Oh, God.
My mom told me to always carry pepper spray in Los Angeles.
It's nothing like that.
Well, then what is it? I went out to this fancy dinner with this guy, Toby.
He's funny, successful Incredibly handsome.
That doesn't sound disturbing.
That sounds like my wish come true.
Mine, too.
Until the part where he offered to pay me $5,000 To have sex with him.
No way.
Is that not completely creepy? And the joke is: if he'd been a little patient, He probably could have talked me into it without paying a dime.
$5,000.
I mean, that's a lot of money.
Yeah, but I'mI'm not a prostitute.
Yeah, I know, totally.
It's just you ended up not getting the guy or the money.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Oh, my God.
Here I am trying to give you some stupid advice.
It's fine.
It's justit's just something I'd never do.
Me neither.
You and me, we're good girls.
It's just not as fun.
It's better.
Good night, Violet.
Night.
There are six messages on our voice mail From some agent,Marc Korman at Endeavor.
Gary Sarling wants to buy "Living In Reverse", The agent thinks you're about to blow up, And he wants to sign you immediately.
Yeah, I'm sure he does.
Wait, Jonah, I don't get it.
Isn't this what you've always wanted? You know, I don't know, Riley.
As of this morning, I wanted a lot of things.
Nothing's really working out the way I pictured it, though.
See, Gary Sarling He hasn't even seen my film.
He just wants to buy it so he can shut me up.
- Shut you up? - Yeah.
I was fortunate enough to walk in on the movie mogul Making out with his daughter's best friend.
Oh, Jonah.
Yeah, so he offered me $100,000 To write a screenplay based on my film.
What are you going to do? Well, I called him on the way home To tell him that I would do it.
Seriously? You really did that? Yeah, I did.
I did do that, Riley, for you.
So you could see that I'm more than Just some guy who's more worried about getting His graphic novels than putting gas in the car.
So you'd see that I am really serious About making films and aboutabout my career, And most importantly, about you.
It's gonna sound ridiculous, But I thought that if I said yes to Gary Sarling, Then you would say yes to me.
I just couldn't do it.
That's not the way I want to start my career, And it's really, really not the way That I want to end up with you.
So, if I got to do A thousand more Bar Mitzvahs before I'm discovered, Thenso be it.
That's great.
So, I screwed upagain? No.
I did.
For hesitating even one second before I said yes.
You are a grown-up An adorable grown-up, Who I want to grow very old with.
I do, Jonah Miller.
I do, I do.
Sydney was complicated, to say the least.
I'm sure we all witnessed her difficult side, But I was lucky enough to witness the good.
Because when no one else was there for me, Sydney was.
That's why I'd like to make a toast to Sydney.
A woman who was never boring, A person whoI will never forget.
I'll miss you, Sydney.
To Sydney.
I too would like to make a toast.
Um, every time I passed Sydney, She'd always say the same thing to me.
She'd say "When are you gonna get off your butt And slap a diamond on that girl's finger?" So, it's with much irony That on the day she died, My life actually begins.
We're getting married, guys.
- What? - Yeah.
El.
Hey, since everybody thinks we already did it anyway, What do you say we make it a reality? - Ooh, tempting.
- Mmm.
But let's not confuse fact with fiction.
Hey, Auggie.
You okay? - I've seen better days.
- Me, too.
You maybe want to get to go grab some coffee? I think that cafe around the corner's open late.
You know, II think I'm just gonna crash.
Rain check?