Modern Love (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

1 Okay.
Oh, gosh.
This was great.
Do you want to kiss me good-bye, here, now? Um, yes.
I-I was gonna walk you to your door.
- Oh.
- 'Cause you live on the corner, right? Yeah, but that's okay.
You don't even have to.
You could just do it here.
Why? What what, is your dad waiting outside - with a shotgun or something? - Oh, kind of.
What? No.
- Uh-huh.
- No.
It's, uh - It's Guzmin.
- Ah.
Yeah, he's from Albania.
- You know, he grew up in a labor camp.
- Right.
- His parents were political activists.
- Oh.
- They were arrested when he was a kid.
- Shit.
You know, I I feel like you're not taking this seriously.
Who the hell is Guzmin? That is Guzmin.
Your doorman? No, he's more than a doorman.
It's-it's very hard to explain.
He's become a Oh, shit.
Oh, my God, no.
- Don't do that, no.
- Why not? - Come on.
- No.
I I wouldn't do that.
Is it important to you what he thinks? No.
Oh, my God, no.
No, I'm an independent woman, and I don't need anyone to help me make up my mind.
Okay.
All right, I better go.
- What? - Yeah.
Here's your taxi.
- Let's go.
- What? Wha I had a really great time tonight.
Um, do you want to do this again? Yes, I - Yeah.
- I mean, I loved talking to you this evening.
I'm free tomorrow night.
- I'll call you.
- Okay.
Um Good night, Guzmin.
Who was this? That was Mark.
I did not like him.
Save it.
He is not for you.
He is a weak man with no self control.
How can you tell that from 30 feet away? You learn a lot about a man through the scope of a sniper rifle.
- He will not be calling you.
- Oh, yeah.
He absolutely will be calling me.
Ever.
He will never be calling you.
God, I looked so good tonight, okay? I was so funny.
I was scintillating.
I wore my fig perfume, which is apparently impossible to resist.
I mean, do you do you want to bet? I cannot bet on a certainty.
It is against my principles.
Good night, Miss Mitchell.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Feeling frisky.
I'm feeling frisky.
Okay.
He will not be calling you.
He will never be calling you.
Fuck you.
Any news from Mark? No.
No, I haven't even checked.
I don't It's not my whole life.
- Have a good day, Miss Mitchell.
- Yep.
You, too.
Damn it, Guzmin.
You're good.
So, you review books for a living, and you live in a building with a doorman? Yes.
The apartment has been in my family for years, so the rent is stuck in the '80s.
Plus I'm a really fast reader.
So how many books can you read in a week? Oh, sometimes I read one a day.
- What? - Yeah.
So does that make you, like, really bright? No.
I just know a lot of facts.
I'm like a Wikipedia page with legs.
Yeah, well, I'm lucky if I read one a year.
Sorry.
Yeah, but you're good-looking.
I can't have both, right? Smart and so good-looking.
- Yeah, okay.
- It's not a fairy tale.
Thank you for seeing me home.
You're very welcome.
Oh, I like that.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
So, is this a "your place or mine" moment? What's up? You know what? Mine.
Yeah? Yeah.
What the hell? Ah.
- Good evening, Guzmin.
- Miss Mitchell.
Good evening.
Good night.
Ted.
Ted? Ted? Damn it! Gugmin.
Morning.
- How's it going? - Morning.
Another day, another dollar? You're back.
With bread and croissants? You beautiful British bastard.
Morning, darling.
Just popped out to get us some breakfast.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Of course.
Yeah, come on up.
"Good morning, my darling.
Morning " - Didn't you get in, my darling? - I don't like him.
- What? - Teddy.
- You met him for 30 seconds.
- Even that was too long.
Okay, well, he's perfectly nice.
All right, it's probably a cultural thing.
You're way too hard on people.
Guzmin, you have to stop failing everyone - that I bring home, okay? - He is empty-headed.
You are a very bright woman with a PhD.
I'm only thinking of your interests.
Please give him a chance, all right? He is very polite, and he is, he is sexy and he is accomplished and he is in the apartment.
- Croissants? - Have I been ever wrong? Okay, this is getting weird.
He's right here.
- Who are you speaking to? - No one.
Bye.
- Hi, Ted.
Good morning.
- Hi.
- Was that, uh, Gugmin? - Guzmin.
- Yeah, that security guard.
- The doorman.
Right.
He seems like such a nice chap.
We had a right laugh downstairs.
You know, he's just super friendly.
Oh, yeah? You had a right laugh? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
- Good evening, Miss Mitchell.
- Hi, Guzmin.
How are you? No complaints.
What did you read today? - Tell me an interesting fact.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Um, do you know where the term "flash in the pan" comes from? Gold prospectors.
Seeing a flash of fool's gold in the sieve or a musket flash that doesn't shoot a bullet.
- Am I right? - Yeah.
That's-that's exactly it.
Yeah, you're right.
I didn't know that.
You look different.
Did you change your hair? No.
How different? Something has changed about you.
Oh, well, uh, yeah, maybe I'm a bit sad.
Why a bit sad? Isn't Mr.
Ted gracing us tonight? No.
Actually, we broke up.
I am so sorry.
He was a flash in the pan.
Right.
Yeah.
Your instincts are very spot-on, Guzmin.
It's sort of uncanny.
Where I'm from, you learn to read a man.
Well, if you could bottle that up and sell it to young American women, you wouldn't have to be a doorman anymore.
I'm very happy with being a doorman.
I did not I'm sorr I didn't mean it like - I'm so sorry.
- Okay.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Miss Mitchell? - Can I get you anything? - No.
Thanks.
I just, um, got a headache, and ran out of aspirin, so I'm just running across the street.
I have Advil, somewhere.
It's a migraine.
Yes.
So I need something for an upset stomach, too.
Gaviscon? Be back in a sec.
Eeny, meeny, miny, mo money than you, bitch My M.
O.
is I just don't give a shit Wow.
Now I'm drippin' in jewels 65.
50.
Do you want a bag? Was livin' in the P's, now I'm drippin' in jewels Faker than your boobs, bitch Faker than your boobs, bitch, whoo! Bitch, dumber than your stupid ass looks Faker than your boobs, bitch Good luck.
Good night.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
It'll pass.
I can't bring a baby into the world with a man that I don't love or trust.
You know, a baby needs two parents.
A baby needs a mom and a dad.
What conservative nonsense this is? No, I don't mean it like that, obviously, I I just mean, like, the way that I was brought up, you know? With two parents.
Oh, my God, my parents.
Oh, my God, what are they gonna say about this? Their little girl comes to the city and then, within a year, is pregnant, and not even with a man she intends on staying with.
You know, they were so excited about him.
They thought he was like Hugh Grant, and now he's like Hugh Grant.
Who cares what your parents say? Or the way they did things? There's a clinic four blocks away.
You know, I could this can go away.
Sure.
No one is going to judge you.
Do what you wish.
But don't do it because you're scared.
You must own your actions in life.
I can't do this on my own.
A village brings up a child.
And New York is a very great village.
Now get some good sleep.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day that's never been touched.
You have made such a big thing out of protecting me from all these bad men, and now it's like you're encouraging me to live life alone.
But you're no longer alone.
- Hi, hi, hi.
- Hi.
- Sorry I'm late.
- No, that's that's fine.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Um, thank you for, um, meeting me.
Oh, I'm from England.
It's the center of urbanity.
We can totally still meet up.
- You look great.
- Oh, thank you.
What are you having? Uh a baby.
Is that one of those new hipster mocktails? God.
I think I'll just stick with an iced tea.
Yeah, you should probably have something a little stronger.
Hey, can I get you something to drink? - Have alcohol.
- Just a minute.
Okay.
So when, um uh the uh I Uh You okay? Just take a deep breath.
You can have as much or as little as you want to do with this.
Um, there is no obligation.
Either way, I I will respect your decision, but, uh, I have decided that I want to have this baby.
But I I would love for you to be around.
And, um but, yeah.
Your life can just keep going on being the same as it was before.
Okay, great.
Okay.
Do you want to come up with some names together? Uh or you do that.
Either way.
Miss Mitchell.
What the hell do you think you're doing? Oh, my God, Guzmin, that's the first time I've heard you really angry, I think.
Cycling around this crazy city in your condition.
Oh, come on, I'm wearing a helmet.
Is your son wearing a helmet? That little child, only the size of a small fish is he wearing a helmet? Speaking of small fish check that out.
You're the first person to see these.
You're having quadruplets? What? No, that's the same baby.
- It's a joke.
- Oh, yeah.
So that is the spine.
And then that's the head.
It's like the whole universe in there.
Are you okay? Fine.
I've just never seen this type of pictures before.
Here.
I have four of them.
All right, I'll see you.
Yes.
- No, no, no, no.
- Okay.
- No! - Okay.
Okay.
Hi, hon.
Daddy joining us tonight? My dad? No.
Why? - No, I mean the baby's daddy.
- Oh.
Right.
I forgot there's a baby.
Um, no.
My water broke early, and, uh, I texted him, but he's out of town.
Understood.
We're not a couple, you know.
Oh, he's a great guy, he's a good guy, but, um, we're not, you know, um I don't know why I'm telling you this.
I have no idea, but I hear you.
And, to be honest, uh, we kind of prefer it this way, because we have a lot of fainters.
Baby's heart is good.
A little early to the party, but no stopping him or her now.
I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna get an epidural, but I can decide later, right? Like, if it gets really bad.
"If"? Keep going! Keep going, Maggie.
Come on now.
Come on, you got to keep pushing.
Good, good.
Oh, oh, oh, very good! Ah.
You want to feel your baby's head? - I don't know.
Do I? - Yeah, yeah, come on.
That's your baby.
Oh, my God! Jesus Christ! Okay, all right.
Let's get ready to go again.
- I can't do it.
No.
- Come on.
No, no, no, I'm too tired.
I can't do it.
- I can't do it.
I'm too exhausted.
No.
- One more big push.
And got to give it everything you got, okay? No, I can't do it.
I can't do it.
'Cause your baby's heart rate, it's a little fast right now, and we need you to work with us, and we need to get your baby out.
One more.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Come on.
Come on.
That's it, come on.
Everything you got.
Here we go.
One more big push.
Good.
A-ha, ah, ah, ah.
Well done, Maggie.
- Oh.
- Oh! Oh, my God.
Oh.
Beautiful.
- Good job.
- Thank you.
Do you want to hold her? I will.
- Guzmin.
- Mm-hmm? She's not nitroglycerin.
I don't want to wake her.
Oh, shush, New York.
Shut up.
I'll get it.
Hello, little baby girl.
Ooh.
Bravo, bravo, bravo.
- Do you drink milk? - No.
- No? - Moms don't like baby milk.
- They don't? - Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
I hope I'm not too late.
- Thank you so much for watching her, Guzmin.
- Oh, no! Oh, I'm so sorry.
That meeting came up from out of nowhere.
- Hi! Hi, baby bear.
- It was not a problem.
- Oh, my gosh.
- She was a pleasure to watch.
- What are you doing? - I'm at my house.
You're at your house? What did you guys do while I was gone? We went to a big room where there was all the animals full of stuffing, and then Guzmin's lunch.
The American Museum of Natural History.
I had not been.
It was fun.
- We have to go upstairs now, okay? - I can hold this.
- Thank you so much.
- Always.
Okay, all right.
Let's go.
We're going.
We're going.
We're thank you.
- Okay, say, "Bye!" - Bye! Bye! Good night! - Bye-bye, Sarah.
- Good-bye! Don't go see the dinosaurs again without me.
I will not.
I promise.
Oh, no.
Not again.
Oh.
Very funny.
Yeah.
Ha, ha.
No.
No.
I just can't sleep.
You want an Ambien? No, thank you.
I'm just excited.
I got a job offer.
The editor of a literary supplement of a magazine.
Fantastic, Miss Mitchell.
It's about time people started to see your talents.
But it's in L.
A.
Okay.
I don't know if I want to bring her up in L.
A.
- She's a New Yorker.
- She will be fine.
She won't be able to walk to school, and it's it's smoggy there and it's it's phony.
When are you leaving? Uh, we're just making plans now, seeing if it's possible.
Everything is possible.
She'll miss the city.
And this building.
And you.
No complaints, Maggie.
Excuse me.
Just be yourself.
Relaxed.
But don't try to be funny.
You're not very funny.
- What is - He is funny.
- Well - What is this about? Just be cool.
But not L.
A.
cool, not frosty cool.
Just be your lovely self.
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
Hi.
Look at you.
- I can't believe it.
- It's so good to see you.
So good to see you.
I want you to meet someone.
Ah.
Hey, man.
Oh, so, uh This is Daniel.
This is Guzmin.
My old friend.
Pleased to meet you, uh I hear I have to pass some sort of test? - You passed it.
- Cool.
- What did I do? - Nothing.
I saw it in her eyes, the moment I saw her.
Guzmin.
I was never looking at the man, Maggie.
I was looking at your eyes.
- Well, that was easy.
- Don't blow it.
Hello, little monkey.
Come here.
Look at you.
Look at you, look at you, my little monkey.
Look at you.
I can't believe she's eight.
I can't believe she's here.
So how was your airplane flight? Good? Yeah, it was, uh What do you most want to do today?