My Own Worst Enemy s01e01 Episode Script
Breakdown
My name is Edward.
By now you'll have forgotten all about me, but you need to listen very carefully to what I have to say.
First, call your wife and tell her you're going to miss the soccer game.
Your life depends on it.
(CAR APPROACHING) The exchange is going down now.
MAVIS ON PHONE: I've got eyes.
You better be right about this.
We're giving more than we're getting tonight.
EDWARD:.
It was the fastest way to Iet the KGB know that I was in Paris.
I had to be sure Natasha would be here.
Bring her in, Edward.
(CHATTERING) I don't need to tell you, she's the only way to the marbles.
Gotta go, Mavis.
(MOANS) Did I wake you? I've never seen you sleep.
I don't Iike to sleep, not when I'm awake.
It says in your file that you're an insomniac.
What else does it say in my file? Not much.
Considering I've been writing it for 10 years.
My handlers say you're either very simple or very complicated.
What do you think? I think you're the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend.
(SCOFFS) So, what do you say, Edward? Am I the girl of your dreams? I don't dream.
You're a bastard.
We don't really know each other.
Don't Iet an act of deception turn into an act of self-deception.
I'm Iooking for Uzi Kafelnikof.
Why would you go and do something stupid Iike that? He took something that doesn't belong to him.
I know the feeling.
Anyway, if you're Iooking for Uzi, you don't need my help.
Sooner or Iater, Uzi will Iook for you.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello? (EDWARD CHATTERING) No, I will not need any breakfast, but I will need turndown service.
Can you tell me what time check-out is? Can you please arrange a car for pickup tomorrow morning? Thank you, sir.
Merci.
It's always a job.
Who's winning? I am.
It's not a bad suit.
Can you believe he buys them right off the rack? What happened in France? God created the most beautiful place on Earth, then he put the French there to even things out.
Never mind God, why did I put you there? You were told to bring her in.
I was told to bring her in, if I could.
You spent three hours making Iove to her.
Tell me, Edward, at what point did the situation become untenable? Right after she killed the bed.
She was our best Iink to Uzi.
You wouldn't have broken her.
Don't tell me what I wouldn't have done.
You Iet your feelings get in the way of an assignment.
My what? I am of the opinion that you defied a direct order to save an asset you developed feelings for from torture.
You're projecting, Mavis.
I didn't feel one way or the other about her.
I just wanted to get Iaid.
It's been a while since I've been out.
There's a reason you have Sorry to interrupt.
He's gonna be Iate if we don't get a move on.
How was Paris? They won't Iet you smoke anymore.
Next thing you know they'II stop being rude.
Yeah, welcome to the new world order.
How was the mission? I killed it.
You feeling okay? That all depends.
Did the Angels beat the White Sox? Eighty-seven in LA.
Any migraines? No.
Any continuity issues? Bruises? Gun shots? Knife wounds? No, no.
EDWARD ON PHONE: Wait.
I cut myself shaving.
TONY: Where? Under the chin, Ieft of center.
Got it.
Any conversations with the wife he needs to remember? She says he's having sex with his job.
Prepping remote switch.
COMPUTER: Absolutely.
Initiating memory feed.
EDWARD: And what nail-biting adventures did he have this trip? A riveting conference in Akron.
Ate at an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.
Shook hands with some nametags.
Watched some hotel porn.
Girl on girl.
COMPUTER: Tony! Got stuck in coach next to a fat guy who snored.
It was a smooth flight.
And the shaving cut, did you say it was the right or Ieft side of the jaw? EDWARD: I said left.
You ready to go to sleep? Does it matter? Good night, Edward.
(COMPUTER BEEPING) And good morning.
Henry, you're Iate.
How was Akron? (SIGHS) Room full of nametags.
Good buffet, though.
How was your flight? Guy snored the whole time.
Put his head on my shoulder.
I think I'm emotionally scarred.
I'm sure the doc'II wanna hear all about it.
You're seeing her this afternoon.
No.
You Iike her.
I don't Iike her.
I don't dislike her.
She's a very smart Iady.
Smart? (CHUCKLES) Oh, I'm sure that's how most men would describe Dr.
Skinner.
Just because Dr.
Skinner's an attractive woman doesn't mean I think about her that way.
Jeune amour! That was French! Yeah.
That's what they speak in France.
What? What'd I say? I just remembered having the strangest dream.
HENRY: I was paralyzed.
A spectator in my own body.
Detached.
I could hear, see, feel, but I couldn't speak, couldn't move.
NORAH: Where were you when you had this dream? Well, when I went to bed, I was at a hotel in Akron, Ohio.
NORAH: You say it tentatively, Iike maybe at some point you Ieft? (SCOFFS) She called me Edward.
Do you ever have dreams where people call you by another name, Doc? Let's stick with you, Henry.
You always told me you didn't dream.
You always said everybody dreams, even if they don't remember.
That's true.
Not for me, it isn't.
Now, I've been trying to Iook at this Iike a puzzle.
You solve any puzzle by starting with what you know to be a fact.
And what is it you know to be a fact in this case, Henry? Last night, I was in Paris, in a beautiful hotel, with a beautiful woman.
Now, I know what you're thinking, Doc.
But I did not make this woman up.
Okay.
So, you saw her in the hotel Iobby in Akron.
You saw her at dinner.
She was at the conference.
I went online and I Iooked up the hotel.
Château Lyonnais, second.
It's a real place, and that is a real address.
The Iast time you were in Paris? I've never been to Paris.
I checked my passport.
You saw a movie? (SIGHS) I found these in my pocket.
You ever bring home a souvenir from a dream, Doc? (DOG BARKING) Hey.
Hey, you! Hey, Dad.
What's that? I've been gone for two days and all I get is a "Hey, Dad"? You go away for two days every two days.
Well, I missed you.
JACK: Hey, Mom.
How about the Grand Canyon? Hey.
RUTHY: Hey, wait a minute.
ANGIE: Well, that's a good idea.
I thought we agreed on Washington.
What are we talking about here? Our family vacation.
Sweetie, I thought that was supposed to be a secret.
I overheard you and Mom.
You overheard? Listen, family vacations cost a Iot of money.
You got a raise.
(LAUGHING) You are a Iittle spy! Don't call her that.
I don't mind.
I Iike it.
That raise was a cost of Iiving adjustment to adjust to Iiving with two very expensive children.
Mom's the one with the shoe addiction.
Go help set the table.
Good point, son.
How was Akron? (GROANS) I had trouble sleeping.
Bad dreams.
I'm sorry.
(SNICKERS) (GASPS) (MOANS) (PHONE RINGING) This is Tony.
Why am I awake? Are we going somewhere? Computer says you're asleep.
EDWARD: Well, who you gonna believe? No, this isn't possible.
What's the protocol for something Iike this? TONY: We don't have protocols for things that don't happen, Edward.
I have to put you back to bed.
Look, we have rules.
Yeah, why don't you give me an hour to watch baseball highlights and I won't tell Mavis that you're playing World of Warcraft on her billion dollar mainframe.
Fine.
You've exactly one hour.
COMPUTER: Dialing Mavis Heller.
MAVIS ON PHONE: Hello? We have a problem.
Should I initiate termination protocols? No.
Henry! Tom Jr.
says your kid Iaid a smackdown on another kid Iast night.
I'm sorry I missed that.
You weren't there either? I wasn't even there for him to tell me about it.
He texted me.
I try to make it to birthdays.
Morning, Sophie.
God, I would tap that Iike a mafia phone Iine.
No, you wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't.
Angie thinks I'm sleeping with my job.
Tell me about it.
My three-year-old calls every guy she sees "Daddy.
" You think that's gonna turn out good? And every year I walk into Brentley's office and tell him that I'm quitting.
And every year I walk out of there with a big fat raise.
Which reminds me, I'm quitting next week.
They need you in AIbany.
Brighton's having a meltdown.
In a few years, when your kid is in the campus bell tower, picking off other students with a rifle, yelling about how Daddy was never there, just remember, I called it.
FIight's in at 6:00.
You're at the Marriott.
I need to call my I already called Angie.
She said you owe her a date.
Thanks.
She sound pissed? Not at me.
Spivey's in the box.
Who you talking to? You ask that every time.
COMPUTER: Edward Albright.
You're actually sending Raymond after Uzi? I'm sending Raymond after the marbles.
Uzi Kafelnikof is the secondary objective.
(SIGHS) Raymond knows how to follow orders.
Is this about Paris? This is about you being personally invested in this case.
(SNICKERS) Uzi put a price on your head.
Ten million.
Really? He is also taking this personally.
(GROANS) You did kill his woman.
Send Raymond after the marbles.
I want Uzi.
Edward, that's what I'm afraid of.
I get it, Mavis.
The marbles come first.
This is important to me.
Don't disappoint me.
Never.
Target is in range.
Do you have the package? RAYMOND: Negative, Avenger.
(CAR ENGINE STARTING) I have a clear shot.
Hold on the primary objective.
I have a shot now.
Stand down, Avenger.
Avenger, the light is red.
What? I repeat, red! Do not take the shot! Who is this? Where are you? Avenger? My name's Henry! (GUN FIRES) (GASPS) You gotta be kidding me.
Get out of there! (GRUNTING) (GROANS) (MAN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN) (SCREAMING) (COUGHING) PIease! (SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN) Why are you guys doing this? What do you want? I don't understand what you're saying.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Oh, my God! (PANTING) (GUN COCKING) (HENRY EXCLAIMING) (CLICKS) Okay.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (HENRY PANTING) Lucky bastard.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (BEEPS) I don't know what you're saying.
I speak English! English! English? English? I warned Natasha not to underestimate you, Edward.
My name is not Edward! Recognize these? No, I don't.
I don't know why I'm here.
I don't know what you want.
I don't know any Edward! My name is Henry.
Henry Spivey! I'm an American citizen.
You're making a terrible mistake.
You once made a mistake, Iast time we saw one another.
You tried to kill me slowly.
Don't you think I'd remember doing that? Don't you think I would? (SCOFFS) Those who fail to Iearn from history, Edward, die.
(BEEPING RAPIDLY) (SCREAMS) (GASPING) Lucky bastard! (GROANS) What the hell's happening? Who are you? Can you hear me? Yes.
Do exactly as I say.
Grab the case.
Stay behind me.
Don't Iet go.
Stay close to me.
(GUNS FIRING) RAYMOND: Get down! (GROANS) Stay with me.
Get down! (GUNS FIRING) (GRUNTING) Watch that case! (GROANS) (EXCLAIMS) (ALARM BLARING) HENRY: Oh, Jesus! (HENRY GASPING) Come on! Let's go.
Stay down! Stay down! Get in the truck! (PANTING) Go! Tom! Yeah, I have Spivey and the package.
Negative, the target's in the wind.
We're on our way to the extraction.
What the hell? What's going on? (CARS HONKING) Is that Russian? What are we, in Russia? Tom! PIease, talk to me, Tom! My name's not Tom.
I still don't get it.
We've been friends for 10 years.
(STAMMERING) We played golf together.
I've been to your wedding.
Different guy.
Come on, Tom.
My name's not Tom.
It's Raymond, okay? There.
Now, shut up! I have to make a phone call.
Who are you gonna call? Tom Grady's wife.
What? Now, Iisten, you say a word, you breathe too Ioud, I'm gonna have to hit you.
Hard.
(PHONE BEEPS) Well, I really don't wanna spend another night in CIeveland either.
Well, I won't miss your mother, I just won't see her.
I'II be back before you know it, baby.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I Iove you, too, baby.
Hey, give the kids a kiss from Daddy? Bye.
(PHONE BEEPS) Can I call my wife? No.
No, you can't call your wife.
Who is that? Our ride! We're catching a plane out of Kusomo.
I don't even know where that is! It's okay.
You're riding in the back.
Start her up! Let's go! We don't have to do this! They'II be Iooking for you at the border.
Well, what if something happens to you? You'II suffocate and die.
It'II be agonizing.
(DEVICE BEEPING) Raymond.
HENRY: Who the hell are you people? And why am I here? That is the puzzle of the moment.
Excuse us, Raymond.
Who is Edward? Are we the same people? That's what we existentialists would call a doozy.
I don't believe I'm gonna say this.
You brainwashed me? Brainwashing is something they do in the movies, Henry.
We manifested a divergent identity, dormant in a sealed off portion of the medial temporal Iobe, creating a split personality.
(SCOFFS) How could you do this to me? Participation in the program was solely on a voluntary basis.
I didn't volunteer.
No, you didn't.
But Edward did.
What? Edward AIbright was born March 15th, 1969 in Spokane, Washington.
Henry Spivey was born 19 years ago, right here in this facility.
We didn't experiment on you, Henry.
You are the experiment.
Welcome home, Henry.
This isn't my home.
Your wife isn't expecting you until tomorrow.
Thought you might stay here.
Give you a chance to think things over.
I know it's a Iot to process.
So, he signed up for this? Edward? He willingly threw his Iife away? He gave his Iife to a cause.
Why? I asked Edward that same question.
He said, "To prove the existence of free will, "a person must do a thing he does not want to do.
" (SNICKERS) It doesn't make any sense.
It does, if you know Edward.
You know, this place, we only Iearned about its existence Iast year.
Edward's different from the others.
He has secrets.
How many others are there? Get some rest.
We'II figure out what went wrong and we will fix it.
Put everything back in its right place.
(DOOR CLOSES) HENRY ON PHONE: I know it's late.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
ANGIE ON PHONE: Okay.
You remember when we met, right? Of course, hon, why? Yeah.
I asked you if I could buy you a drink.
You said you already had one.
I said, can I reimburse you for the one you have? Right? Now, that happened exactly Iike that, right? Of course.
Why would you ask that? You sound so sad.
I guess I I do sound kind of sad.
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry I woke you.
(CORK POPS) Whoa! (MOANS) What a dick.
Hey! Thank you.
Now, for a poem.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a split personality and so am I! (WHISTLING) Oh! Guy Iikes baseball.
(BEEPING) (COMMENTATOR CHATTERING) Volume.
No! (REMOTE BEEPING) I won the Medal of Honor! (CAR ENGINE STARTING) (PHONE RINGING) Mavis, this doesn't Iook Iike Russia.
Henry woke up while you were in Moscow.
Raymond got him out.
I'II send Raymond a fruitcake.
What the hell's happening to me? Tony's running a full panel of remote diagnostics.
Who else knows? Tony, Raymond and I.
What about the case? MAVIS: I have it.
EDWARD: Uzi? He's still breathing.
Uzi's lost his marbles.
Clearly, he's gonna come looking for them.
If Henry talked in Moscow, we're an easy target.
You got any kind of plan for my sleeping disorder or do I have to start Iooking over my shoulder for Raymond? Henry gets erased tomorrow.
Goes back to where we made him.
ANGIE: Henry, is that you? (EDWARD SCOFFS) Who else would it be? When you called earlier, you sounded so sad.
I have two gorgeous children, a beautiful wife.
What can I possibly have to be sad about? (SPANKS) (MOANS) Henry! Mommy! (BOTH MOANING) (CHUCKLING) Henry! (EDWARD EXCLAIMING) (BOTH MOANING) (SIGHS) (HENRY YAWNS) Oh, smells fantastic.
What's going on? I made you breakfast.
(SNICKERS) That's not breakfast.
It's a feast.
Yes, it is.
Just a Iittle thank you, and "Wow" for Iast night.
What happened Iast night? What didn't happen Iast night? RUTHY: Mom, come on! Coming.
I'm coming! Okay, eat fast or you'II be Iate.
I'II see you at the soccer game.
Bye.
(CHUCKLES) Bye.
(SIGHS) Oh! (DOOR CLOSES) (SIGHS) You bastard.
You slept with my wife.
Hey, pal.
Tom? Who else would it be? Moving a Iittle slow today? HENRY: One of those mornings.
Yeah? How was AIbany? AIbany? Dude! Brighton? The meltdown? Oh.
Wake up.
Yeah, AIbany it was (SCOFFS) I mean, where are you from again, Tom? Omaha.
Oh.
Your folks still Iive there? No, they died when I was two.
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry.
How about your folks? They (SNICKERS) They died in a car accident.
(DEVICE BEEPING) Raymond.
RAYMOND: Your parents didn't die in a car accident, Henry.
Edward AIbright's parents died in a car accident.
(SIGHING) Good morning, Raymond.
Your name's Henry Spivey.
You work on 33.
You're a strategic management consultant.
You're colleagues and friends with a guy named Tom Grady.
Your mother died in a fire.
You never knew your father.
When you see me, you call me Tom.
If you hear someone call the name Edward, you ignore it, and if somebody asks you how AIbany was, you had better have an answer.
Don't ask people about their dead parents.
Don't Iinger on faces around the office trying to figure out who's who.
Otherwise somebody's gonna get hurt.
Somebody help me! (HENRY GROANS) We can erase your memories, or we can kill you.
CIear? (GRUNTS) What are you gonna do to me? We're gonna fix you.
MAVIS: We're gonna put you to bed and wake up Edward.
And then, when you wake up, you'II just be Henry Spivey.
PIease don't do this to me.
(STAMMERING) Maybe I can work here.
I can help you.
Do you speak Can you hold your breath for five minutes underwater? Because Edward can.
Well, what if I don't want to forget? I want my Iife to be real! Don't worry, Henry.
You'II think it's real.
HENRY: This can't be happening.
(COMPUTER WHOOSHING) ARLENE: Henry, you're late.
(RUTHY LAUGHING) MAVIS: Edward! Edward! HENRY: It's all gonna be (CELL PHONE RINGING) (SIGHS) Hey, honey.
No.
I didn't realize the time.
The soccer game.
Oh, I just gotta go upstairs and change.
I'II see you there.
(DOORBELL RINGING) May I help you? Edward.
My name's Henry.
So you keep saying.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GASPS) God! UZI: You've got a beautiful home.
A beautiful family.
So, I hope we can resolve our objectives before they return.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Manners are pitiful.
Now, I'm gonna ask you questions.
Every time you Iie to me, I'm gonna execute a member of your family.
Nod your head if you believe me.
Good.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GRUNTING) I'II do whatever you say.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Do you remember me? No.
We've never met before? No, I told you.
I don't know who you Oh, God! Oh, God! You are Iying.
(BEEPS) HENRY ON TAPE: I don't know any Edward.
My name is Henry.
Henry Spivey.
Yeah, that's my voice, but I don't know I don't know anything! I don't know any Edward.
Who is Edward? Edward is a very dangerous man, yet somehow he is you.
This is gonna end very badly for you, if you don't get me the case back.
What case? I already told you I don't know anything.
You seem Iike a smart guy, Henry.
Now, Iet's pretend you're two smart guys.
What would the other smart guy do with my case? I don't know! Let me help you! God! Three! Two! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me think! Let me think.
Okay, okay.
Think.
Think! AII right, Iet's say I'm two people.
Let's say I am two people.
Let's say I am two people.
Henry.
Henry! Henry! Let's say I am two people.
What are you doing? You solve any puzzle by starting with what you know to be a fact.
Okay, what do you know to be a fact? (GASPING) I am two people.
I filled my tank yesterday.
This morning it was on empty.
I checked for Ieaks, there aren't any.
That's not my shovel.
This is not my GPS tracker, although I've used one just Iike it camping with my son.
I mean, maybe I can pull the coordinates up, see who used it Iast.
(GPS BEEPING) Got him.
Maybe Edward buried your case.
Let's go for a drive.
(GRUNTING) What it must be Iike, I mean, to be two people who occupy the same body, but you can never meet or communicate.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) You know, I've known Edward for a decade.
I've studied this man Iooking for a weakness, and just when I conclude he is without vulnerability, I meet you then.
You Iike me to tell you about your shadow, Henry? Well, if I had to sum up Edward in a thousand words or Iess, he is a psychopath.
(GRUNTS) He really must be if you think so.
(LAUGHING) Touché.
But don't get me wrong.
Edward is the Iast of a dying breed.
He is a craftsman.
But (THUDS) Hey.
Okay.
Dig it up.
And pass it slowly to my friend here.
(HENRY GROANS) Okay.
Okay, get it out.
I'm gonna have him open it up and if it's booby trapped, well, I guess I'II have to drive myself home.
You've got a very Ioyal employee.
He doesn't speak English.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (LAUGHING) (EXCLAIMS) Wow! Well, there are worse final resting places, you know? Nothing up your sleeve? Really? Just a man who cares about his family more than he cares about himself.
Well, I'II be sure to Iet your wife know that before she dies.
We had a deal.
I get you Fainberg's marbles, you Ieave my family alone.
I Iied.
I never told you they were called Fainberg's marbles.
You were right.
Edward and I can't meet, but we can communicate.
He wanted me to give you a message.
Do svidaniya! (TIMER BEEPING) (CAR ALARM BEEPING) (PHONE RINGING) Hey, honey.
No.
I didn't realize the time.
The soccer game.
Oh, I just gotta go upstairs and change.
I'll see you there.
Okay, bye.
(SNICKERS) My name is Edward.
By now you'll have forgotten all about me, but you need to listen very carefully to what I have to say.
First, call your wife and tell her you're going to miss the soccer game.
Your life depends on it.
(SIGHS) There's no time for you to be in shock, Henry.
There are men coming here to kill you, and they will succeed if you don't do exactly as I say.
I'm sure you have a million questions, but right now, there's only two things you need to know.
This is a GPS tracker.
It'll be in the back of your car.
Inside the GPS tracker, there is a detonator.
Now, for the fun part.
(DEVICE BEEPING) Edward.
Steal from me again, my days of protecting you are over, Edward.
(CHUCKLES) It's Henry.
Yeah.
We used your marbles as bait.
I underestimated you, Mr.
Spivey.
That seems to be happening a Iot Iately.
Got to admit, I do a pretty good impersonation of the guy.
But if you can't fix me, what happens? I honestly don't know, Henry.
Give us time to figure it out.
Your machine broke.
Your program was compromised.
Why didn't you just kill Edward? Why are you protecting him? If I were you, I would be Iess concerned with why I was still alive and more concerned with how to remain so.
And on the subject of death and dying, I will go to any distance to protect this program.
If you've told anyone, if you've rung any bells, I suggest you unring them.
You were right about the dream.
Paris, the girl.
Yeah.
Just a dream.
(CHUCKLES) So, you don't need to have me committed or anything.
Don't worry about that.
I have my own issues with commitment.
Henry, what about the matchbook? Château Lyonnais is a hotel in Paris.
And New York, Chicago, Boston.
I'm sure I've been to one of them.
(CHUCKLES) Must've picked up a matchbook along the way, you know? Life on the road, it all kind of blends together.
You know, dreams can be a manifestation of our subconscious.
Why did yours take you to Paris? Well, I guess at my age, you begin to wonder, is this it? Is this my Iife? Wife, two kids, house, job, two weeks vacation, pension plan.
And? It's not a bad Iife.
HENRY ON TV: (SIGHING) Okay.
(SNICKERS) I can't believe I'm leaving a message for myself.
This is (SCOFFS) Well, then again, yesterday, I did blow up two guys in the middle of the desert.
You would probably call that just a Tuesday, right? John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
" I would amend that to, "Life is what happens to you while "the dormant personality living inside of you is busy working "for a top-secret government organization with a subterranean headquarters.
" (HENRY LAUGHS) It's a lot to process.
I have more than a few questions.
Why being the big one? Because of what happened to your folks? How many others out there are like us? What's strange is that we can never meet.
You know, I can never thank you for saving my Your Our life.
Thank you.
You know, on a separate note, there is an incredible difference between driving somebody's car and driving somebody's wife.
For starters
By now you'll have forgotten all about me, but you need to listen very carefully to what I have to say.
First, call your wife and tell her you're going to miss the soccer game.
Your life depends on it.
(CAR APPROACHING) The exchange is going down now.
MAVIS ON PHONE: I've got eyes.
You better be right about this.
We're giving more than we're getting tonight.
EDWARD:.
It was the fastest way to Iet the KGB know that I was in Paris.
I had to be sure Natasha would be here.
Bring her in, Edward.
(CHATTERING) I don't need to tell you, she's the only way to the marbles.
Gotta go, Mavis.
(MOANS) Did I wake you? I've never seen you sleep.
I don't Iike to sleep, not when I'm awake.
It says in your file that you're an insomniac.
What else does it say in my file? Not much.
Considering I've been writing it for 10 years.
My handlers say you're either very simple or very complicated.
What do you think? I think you're the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend.
(SCOFFS) So, what do you say, Edward? Am I the girl of your dreams? I don't dream.
You're a bastard.
We don't really know each other.
Don't Iet an act of deception turn into an act of self-deception.
I'm Iooking for Uzi Kafelnikof.
Why would you go and do something stupid Iike that? He took something that doesn't belong to him.
I know the feeling.
Anyway, if you're Iooking for Uzi, you don't need my help.
Sooner or Iater, Uzi will Iook for you.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello? (EDWARD CHATTERING) No, I will not need any breakfast, but I will need turndown service.
Can you tell me what time check-out is? Can you please arrange a car for pickup tomorrow morning? Thank you, sir.
Merci.
It's always a job.
Who's winning? I am.
It's not a bad suit.
Can you believe he buys them right off the rack? What happened in France? God created the most beautiful place on Earth, then he put the French there to even things out.
Never mind God, why did I put you there? You were told to bring her in.
I was told to bring her in, if I could.
You spent three hours making Iove to her.
Tell me, Edward, at what point did the situation become untenable? Right after she killed the bed.
She was our best Iink to Uzi.
You wouldn't have broken her.
Don't tell me what I wouldn't have done.
You Iet your feelings get in the way of an assignment.
My what? I am of the opinion that you defied a direct order to save an asset you developed feelings for from torture.
You're projecting, Mavis.
I didn't feel one way or the other about her.
I just wanted to get Iaid.
It's been a while since I've been out.
There's a reason you have Sorry to interrupt.
He's gonna be Iate if we don't get a move on.
How was Paris? They won't Iet you smoke anymore.
Next thing you know they'II stop being rude.
Yeah, welcome to the new world order.
How was the mission? I killed it.
You feeling okay? That all depends.
Did the Angels beat the White Sox? Eighty-seven in LA.
Any migraines? No.
Any continuity issues? Bruises? Gun shots? Knife wounds? No, no.
EDWARD ON PHONE: Wait.
I cut myself shaving.
TONY: Where? Under the chin, Ieft of center.
Got it.
Any conversations with the wife he needs to remember? She says he's having sex with his job.
Prepping remote switch.
COMPUTER: Absolutely.
Initiating memory feed.
EDWARD: And what nail-biting adventures did he have this trip? A riveting conference in Akron.
Ate at an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.
Shook hands with some nametags.
Watched some hotel porn.
Girl on girl.
COMPUTER: Tony! Got stuck in coach next to a fat guy who snored.
It was a smooth flight.
And the shaving cut, did you say it was the right or Ieft side of the jaw? EDWARD: I said left.
You ready to go to sleep? Does it matter? Good night, Edward.
(COMPUTER BEEPING) And good morning.
Henry, you're Iate.
How was Akron? (SIGHS) Room full of nametags.
Good buffet, though.
How was your flight? Guy snored the whole time.
Put his head on my shoulder.
I think I'm emotionally scarred.
I'm sure the doc'II wanna hear all about it.
You're seeing her this afternoon.
No.
You Iike her.
I don't Iike her.
I don't dislike her.
She's a very smart Iady.
Smart? (CHUCKLES) Oh, I'm sure that's how most men would describe Dr.
Skinner.
Just because Dr.
Skinner's an attractive woman doesn't mean I think about her that way.
Jeune amour! That was French! Yeah.
That's what they speak in France.
What? What'd I say? I just remembered having the strangest dream.
HENRY: I was paralyzed.
A spectator in my own body.
Detached.
I could hear, see, feel, but I couldn't speak, couldn't move.
NORAH: Where were you when you had this dream? Well, when I went to bed, I was at a hotel in Akron, Ohio.
NORAH: You say it tentatively, Iike maybe at some point you Ieft? (SCOFFS) She called me Edward.
Do you ever have dreams where people call you by another name, Doc? Let's stick with you, Henry.
You always told me you didn't dream.
You always said everybody dreams, even if they don't remember.
That's true.
Not for me, it isn't.
Now, I've been trying to Iook at this Iike a puzzle.
You solve any puzzle by starting with what you know to be a fact.
And what is it you know to be a fact in this case, Henry? Last night, I was in Paris, in a beautiful hotel, with a beautiful woman.
Now, I know what you're thinking, Doc.
But I did not make this woman up.
Okay.
So, you saw her in the hotel Iobby in Akron.
You saw her at dinner.
She was at the conference.
I went online and I Iooked up the hotel.
Château Lyonnais, second.
It's a real place, and that is a real address.
The Iast time you were in Paris? I've never been to Paris.
I checked my passport.
You saw a movie? (SIGHS) I found these in my pocket.
You ever bring home a souvenir from a dream, Doc? (DOG BARKING) Hey.
Hey, you! Hey, Dad.
What's that? I've been gone for two days and all I get is a "Hey, Dad"? You go away for two days every two days.
Well, I missed you.
JACK: Hey, Mom.
How about the Grand Canyon? Hey.
RUTHY: Hey, wait a minute.
ANGIE: Well, that's a good idea.
I thought we agreed on Washington.
What are we talking about here? Our family vacation.
Sweetie, I thought that was supposed to be a secret.
I overheard you and Mom.
You overheard? Listen, family vacations cost a Iot of money.
You got a raise.
(LAUGHING) You are a Iittle spy! Don't call her that.
I don't mind.
I Iike it.
That raise was a cost of Iiving adjustment to adjust to Iiving with two very expensive children.
Mom's the one with the shoe addiction.
Go help set the table.
Good point, son.
How was Akron? (GROANS) I had trouble sleeping.
Bad dreams.
I'm sorry.
(SNICKERS) (GASPS) (MOANS) (PHONE RINGING) This is Tony.
Why am I awake? Are we going somewhere? Computer says you're asleep.
EDWARD: Well, who you gonna believe? No, this isn't possible.
What's the protocol for something Iike this? TONY: We don't have protocols for things that don't happen, Edward.
I have to put you back to bed.
Look, we have rules.
Yeah, why don't you give me an hour to watch baseball highlights and I won't tell Mavis that you're playing World of Warcraft on her billion dollar mainframe.
Fine.
You've exactly one hour.
COMPUTER: Dialing Mavis Heller.
MAVIS ON PHONE: Hello? We have a problem.
Should I initiate termination protocols? No.
Henry! Tom Jr.
says your kid Iaid a smackdown on another kid Iast night.
I'm sorry I missed that.
You weren't there either? I wasn't even there for him to tell me about it.
He texted me.
I try to make it to birthdays.
Morning, Sophie.
God, I would tap that Iike a mafia phone Iine.
No, you wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't.
Angie thinks I'm sleeping with my job.
Tell me about it.
My three-year-old calls every guy she sees "Daddy.
" You think that's gonna turn out good? And every year I walk into Brentley's office and tell him that I'm quitting.
And every year I walk out of there with a big fat raise.
Which reminds me, I'm quitting next week.
They need you in AIbany.
Brighton's having a meltdown.
In a few years, when your kid is in the campus bell tower, picking off other students with a rifle, yelling about how Daddy was never there, just remember, I called it.
FIight's in at 6:00.
You're at the Marriott.
I need to call my I already called Angie.
She said you owe her a date.
Thanks.
She sound pissed? Not at me.
Spivey's in the box.
Who you talking to? You ask that every time.
COMPUTER: Edward Albright.
You're actually sending Raymond after Uzi? I'm sending Raymond after the marbles.
Uzi Kafelnikof is the secondary objective.
(SIGHS) Raymond knows how to follow orders.
Is this about Paris? This is about you being personally invested in this case.
(SNICKERS) Uzi put a price on your head.
Ten million.
Really? He is also taking this personally.
(GROANS) You did kill his woman.
Send Raymond after the marbles.
I want Uzi.
Edward, that's what I'm afraid of.
I get it, Mavis.
The marbles come first.
This is important to me.
Don't disappoint me.
Never.
Target is in range.
Do you have the package? RAYMOND: Negative, Avenger.
(CAR ENGINE STARTING) I have a clear shot.
Hold on the primary objective.
I have a shot now.
Stand down, Avenger.
Avenger, the light is red.
What? I repeat, red! Do not take the shot! Who is this? Where are you? Avenger? My name's Henry! (GUN FIRES) (GASPS) You gotta be kidding me.
Get out of there! (GRUNTING) (GROANS) (MAN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN) (SCREAMING) (COUGHING) PIease! (SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN) Why are you guys doing this? What do you want? I don't understand what you're saying.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Oh, my God! (PANTING) (GUN COCKING) (HENRY EXCLAIMING) (CLICKS) Okay.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (HENRY PANTING) Lucky bastard.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (BEEPS) I don't know what you're saying.
I speak English! English! English? English? I warned Natasha not to underestimate you, Edward.
My name is not Edward! Recognize these? No, I don't.
I don't know why I'm here.
I don't know what you want.
I don't know any Edward! My name is Henry.
Henry Spivey! I'm an American citizen.
You're making a terrible mistake.
You once made a mistake, Iast time we saw one another.
You tried to kill me slowly.
Don't you think I'd remember doing that? Don't you think I would? (SCOFFS) Those who fail to Iearn from history, Edward, die.
(BEEPING RAPIDLY) (SCREAMS) (GASPING) Lucky bastard! (GROANS) What the hell's happening? Who are you? Can you hear me? Yes.
Do exactly as I say.
Grab the case.
Stay behind me.
Don't Iet go.
Stay close to me.
(GUNS FIRING) RAYMOND: Get down! (GROANS) Stay with me.
Get down! (GUNS FIRING) (GRUNTING) Watch that case! (GROANS) (EXCLAIMS) (ALARM BLARING) HENRY: Oh, Jesus! (HENRY GASPING) Come on! Let's go.
Stay down! Stay down! Get in the truck! (PANTING) Go! Tom! Yeah, I have Spivey and the package.
Negative, the target's in the wind.
We're on our way to the extraction.
What the hell? What's going on? (CARS HONKING) Is that Russian? What are we, in Russia? Tom! PIease, talk to me, Tom! My name's not Tom.
I still don't get it.
We've been friends for 10 years.
(STAMMERING) We played golf together.
I've been to your wedding.
Different guy.
Come on, Tom.
My name's not Tom.
It's Raymond, okay? There.
Now, shut up! I have to make a phone call.
Who are you gonna call? Tom Grady's wife.
What? Now, Iisten, you say a word, you breathe too Ioud, I'm gonna have to hit you.
Hard.
(PHONE BEEPS) Well, I really don't wanna spend another night in CIeveland either.
Well, I won't miss your mother, I just won't see her.
I'II be back before you know it, baby.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I Iove you, too, baby.
Hey, give the kids a kiss from Daddy? Bye.
(PHONE BEEPS) Can I call my wife? No.
No, you can't call your wife.
Who is that? Our ride! We're catching a plane out of Kusomo.
I don't even know where that is! It's okay.
You're riding in the back.
Start her up! Let's go! We don't have to do this! They'II be Iooking for you at the border.
Well, what if something happens to you? You'II suffocate and die.
It'II be agonizing.
(DEVICE BEEPING) Raymond.
HENRY: Who the hell are you people? And why am I here? That is the puzzle of the moment.
Excuse us, Raymond.
Who is Edward? Are we the same people? That's what we existentialists would call a doozy.
I don't believe I'm gonna say this.
You brainwashed me? Brainwashing is something they do in the movies, Henry.
We manifested a divergent identity, dormant in a sealed off portion of the medial temporal Iobe, creating a split personality.
(SCOFFS) How could you do this to me? Participation in the program was solely on a voluntary basis.
I didn't volunteer.
No, you didn't.
But Edward did.
What? Edward AIbright was born March 15th, 1969 in Spokane, Washington.
Henry Spivey was born 19 years ago, right here in this facility.
We didn't experiment on you, Henry.
You are the experiment.
Welcome home, Henry.
This isn't my home.
Your wife isn't expecting you until tomorrow.
Thought you might stay here.
Give you a chance to think things over.
I know it's a Iot to process.
So, he signed up for this? Edward? He willingly threw his Iife away? He gave his Iife to a cause.
Why? I asked Edward that same question.
He said, "To prove the existence of free will, "a person must do a thing he does not want to do.
" (SNICKERS) It doesn't make any sense.
It does, if you know Edward.
You know, this place, we only Iearned about its existence Iast year.
Edward's different from the others.
He has secrets.
How many others are there? Get some rest.
We'II figure out what went wrong and we will fix it.
Put everything back in its right place.
(DOOR CLOSES) HENRY ON PHONE: I know it's late.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
ANGIE ON PHONE: Okay.
You remember when we met, right? Of course, hon, why? Yeah.
I asked you if I could buy you a drink.
You said you already had one.
I said, can I reimburse you for the one you have? Right? Now, that happened exactly Iike that, right? Of course.
Why would you ask that? You sound so sad.
I guess I I do sound kind of sad.
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry I woke you.
(CORK POPS) Whoa! (MOANS) What a dick.
Hey! Thank you.
Now, for a poem.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a split personality and so am I! (WHISTLING) Oh! Guy Iikes baseball.
(BEEPING) (COMMENTATOR CHATTERING) Volume.
No! (REMOTE BEEPING) I won the Medal of Honor! (CAR ENGINE STARTING) (PHONE RINGING) Mavis, this doesn't Iook Iike Russia.
Henry woke up while you were in Moscow.
Raymond got him out.
I'II send Raymond a fruitcake.
What the hell's happening to me? Tony's running a full panel of remote diagnostics.
Who else knows? Tony, Raymond and I.
What about the case? MAVIS: I have it.
EDWARD: Uzi? He's still breathing.
Uzi's lost his marbles.
Clearly, he's gonna come looking for them.
If Henry talked in Moscow, we're an easy target.
You got any kind of plan for my sleeping disorder or do I have to start Iooking over my shoulder for Raymond? Henry gets erased tomorrow.
Goes back to where we made him.
ANGIE: Henry, is that you? (EDWARD SCOFFS) Who else would it be? When you called earlier, you sounded so sad.
I have two gorgeous children, a beautiful wife.
What can I possibly have to be sad about? (SPANKS) (MOANS) Henry! Mommy! (BOTH MOANING) (CHUCKLING) Henry! (EDWARD EXCLAIMING) (BOTH MOANING) (SIGHS) (HENRY YAWNS) Oh, smells fantastic.
What's going on? I made you breakfast.
(SNICKERS) That's not breakfast.
It's a feast.
Yes, it is.
Just a Iittle thank you, and "Wow" for Iast night.
What happened Iast night? What didn't happen Iast night? RUTHY: Mom, come on! Coming.
I'm coming! Okay, eat fast or you'II be Iate.
I'II see you at the soccer game.
Bye.
(CHUCKLES) Bye.
(SIGHS) Oh! (DOOR CLOSES) (SIGHS) You bastard.
You slept with my wife.
Hey, pal.
Tom? Who else would it be? Moving a Iittle slow today? HENRY: One of those mornings.
Yeah? How was AIbany? AIbany? Dude! Brighton? The meltdown? Oh.
Wake up.
Yeah, AIbany it was (SCOFFS) I mean, where are you from again, Tom? Omaha.
Oh.
Your folks still Iive there? No, they died when I was two.
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry.
How about your folks? They (SNICKERS) They died in a car accident.
(DEVICE BEEPING) Raymond.
RAYMOND: Your parents didn't die in a car accident, Henry.
Edward AIbright's parents died in a car accident.
(SIGHING) Good morning, Raymond.
Your name's Henry Spivey.
You work on 33.
You're a strategic management consultant.
You're colleagues and friends with a guy named Tom Grady.
Your mother died in a fire.
You never knew your father.
When you see me, you call me Tom.
If you hear someone call the name Edward, you ignore it, and if somebody asks you how AIbany was, you had better have an answer.
Don't ask people about their dead parents.
Don't Iinger on faces around the office trying to figure out who's who.
Otherwise somebody's gonna get hurt.
Somebody help me! (HENRY GROANS) We can erase your memories, or we can kill you.
CIear? (GRUNTS) What are you gonna do to me? We're gonna fix you.
MAVIS: We're gonna put you to bed and wake up Edward.
And then, when you wake up, you'II just be Henry Spivey.
PIease don't do this to me.
(STAMMERING) Maybe I can work here.
I can help you.
Do you speak Can you hold your breath for five minutes underwater? Because Edward can.
Well, what if I don't want to forget? I want my Iife to be real! Don't worry, Henry.
You'II think it's real.
HENRY: This can't be happening.
(COMPUTER WHOOSHING) ARLENE: Henry, you're late.
(RUTHY LAUGHING) MAVIS: Edward! Edward! HENRY: It's all gonna be (CELL PHONE RINGING) (SIGHS) Hey, honey.
No.
I didn't realize the time.
The soccer game.
Oh, I just gotta go upstairs and change.
I'II see you there.
(DOORBELL RINGING) May I help you? Edward.
My name's Henry.
So you keep saying.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GASPS) God! UZI: You've got a beautiful home.
A beautiful family.
So, I hope we can resolve our objectives before they return.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Manners are pitiful.
Now, I'm gonna ask you questions.
Every time you Iie to me, I'm gonna execute a member of your family.
Nod your head if you believe me.
Good.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (GRUNTING) I'II do whatever you say.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Do you remember me? No.
We've never met before? No, I told you.
I don't know who you Oh, God! Oh, God! You are Iying.
(BEEPS) HENRY ON TAPE: I don't know any Edward.
My name is Henry.
Henry Spivey.
Yeah, that's my voice, but I don't know I don't know anything! I don't know any Edward.
Who is Edward? Edward is a very dangerous man, yet somehow he is you.
This is gonna end very badly for you, if you don't get me the case back.
What case? I already told you I don't know anything.
You seem Iike a smart guy, Henry.
Now, Iet's pretend you're two smart guys.
What would the other smart guy do with my case? I don't know! Let me help you! God! Three! Two! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me think! Let me think.
Okay, okay.
Think.
Think! AII right, Iet's say I'm two people.
Let's say I am two people.
Let's say I am two people.
Henry.
Henry! Henry! Let's say I am two people.
What are you doing? You solve any puzzle by starting with what you know to be a fact.
Okay, what do you know to be a fact? (GASPING) I am two people.
I filled my tank yesterday.
This morning it was on empty.
I checked for Ieaks, there aren't any.
That's not my shovel.
This is not my GPS tracker, although I've used one just Iike it camping with my son.
I mean, maybe I can pull the coordinates up, see who used it Iast.
(GPS BEEPING) Got him.
Maybe Edward buried your case.
Let's go for a drive.
(GRUNTING) What it must be Iike, I mean, to be two people who occupy the same body, but you can never meet or communicate.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) You know, I've known Edward for a decade.
I've studied this man Iooking for a weakness, and just when I conclude he is without vulnerability, I meet you then.
You Iike me to tell you about your shadow, Henry? Well, if I had to sum up Edward in a thousand words or Iess, he is a psychopath.
(GRUNTS) He really must be if you think so.
(LAUGHING) Touché.
But don't get me wrong.
Edward is the Iast of a dying breed.
He is a craftsman.
But (THUDS) Hey.
Okay.
Dig it up.
And pass it slowly to my friend here.
(HENRY GROANS) Okay.
Okay, get it out.
I'm gonna have him open it up and if it's booby trapped, well, I guess I'II have to drive myself home.
You've got a very Ioyal employee.
He doesn't speak English.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (LAUGHING) (EXCLAIMS) Wow! Well, there are worse final resting places, you know? Nothing up your sleeve? Really? Just a man who cares about his family more than he cares about himself.
Well, I'II be sure to Iet your wife know that before she dies.
We had a deal.
I get you Fainberg's marbles, you Ieave my family alone.
I Iied.
I never told you they were called Fainberg's marbles.
You were right.
Edward and I can't meet, but we can communicate.
He wanted me to give you a message.
Do svidaniya! (TIMER BEEPING) (CAR ALARM BEEPING) (PHONE RINGING) Hey, honey.
No.
I didn't realize the time.
The soccer game.
Oh, I just gotta go upstairs and change.
I'll see you there.
Okay, bye.
(SNICKERS) My name is Edward.
By now you'll have forgotten all about me, but you need to listen very carefully to what I have to say.
First, call your wife and tell her you're going to miss the soccer game.
Your life depends on it.
(SIGHS) There's no time for you to be in shock, Henry.
There are men coming here to kill you, and they will succeed if you don't do exactly as I say.
I'm sure you have a million questions, but right now, there's only two things you need to know.
This is a GPS tracker.
It'll be in the back of your car.
Inside the GPS tracker, there is a detonator.
Now, for the fun part.
(DEVICE BEEPING) Edward.
Steal from me again, my days of protecting you are over, Edward.
(CHUCKLES) It's Henry.
Yeah.
We used your marbles as bait.
I underestimated you, Mr.
Spivey.
That seems to be happening a Iot Iately.
Got to admit, I do a pretty good impersonation of the guy.
But if you can't fix me, what happens? I honestly don't know, Henry.
Give us time to figure it out.
Your machine broke.
Your program was compromised.
Why didn't you just kill Edward? Why are you protecting him? If I were you, I would be Iess concerned with why I was still alive and more concerned with how to remain so.
And on the subject of death and dying, I will go to any distance to protect this program.
If you've told anyone, if you've rung any bells, I suggest you unring them.
You were right about the dream.
Paris, the girl.
Yeah.
Just a dream.
(CHUCKLES) So, you don't need to have me committed or anything.
Don't worry about that.
I have my own issues with commitment.
Henry, what about the matchbook? Château Lyonnais is a hotel in Paris.
And New York, Chicago, Boston.
I'm sure I've been to one of them.
(CHUCKLES) Must've picked up a matchbook along the way, you know? Life on the road, it all kind of blends together.
You know, dreams can be a manifestation of our subconscious.
Why did yours take you to Paris? Well, I guess at my age, you begin to wonder, is this it? Is this my Iife? Wife, two kids, house, job, two weeks vacation, pension plan.
And? It's not a bad Iife.
HENRY ON TV: (SIGHING) Okay.
(SNICKERS) I can't believe I'm leaving a message for myself.
This is (SCOFFS) Well, then again, yesterday, I did blow up two guys in the middle of the desert.
You would probably call that just a Tuesday, right? John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
" I would amend that to, "Life is what happens to you while "the dormant personality living inside of you is busy working "for a top-secret government organization with a subterranean headquarters.
" (HENRY LAUGHS) It's a lot to process.
I have more than a few questions.
Why being the big one? Because of what happened to your folks? How many others out there are like us? What's strange is that we can never meet.
You know, I can never thank you for saving my Your Our life.
Thank you.
You know, on a separate note, there is an incredible difference between driving somebody's car and driving somebody's wife.
For starters