NewsRadio (1995) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
Good morning, I'm-- Name, date, time in, destination.
Print legibly, no cursive, signature at the "X".
Thank you.
WNYX news radio, huh? I'm the new news director.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Is there anything else I can do for you? Oh, you see, it's 8:57.
so I'm going to wait another 35 seconds before heading up so I can arrive Uh-huh.
That's a nice jacket.
It's just a uniform.
It comes with the job.
Ah, you don't say? Let's see, 33, 34 I'm going to head on up now.
WNYX.
That's on the 15th floor, right? that's the business office.
You probably want the broadcast offices, don't you? Uh, yes, yes.
That's at the Criterion building, 58th and Madison.
Three blocks up and and six blocks over.
Oh, my God.
The time? Welcome to New York! [.]
This is WNYX news radio.
Serving Manhattan, the outer boroughs, and the entire Tri-State area.
Joining us at 6:00 Excuse me.
I'm looking for the station owner's office.
Down the hall to the right.
Thanks.
Any time, but he's not in there right now.
Oh, uh do you know where he is? Mr.
James? Yes? Oh, Mr.
James, I'm so sorry I'm late.
Were you late? I didn't notice.
Walk all the way from Wisconsin, huh? I'm kidding.
Come on, Dave.
So, Dave, what are your goals here at WNYX? Well, I just want to be the best damn news director I can be.
Good, good.
That kind of strong language don't fly with me, but, uh, you got your own style, I guess.
I'm sorry.
You know, Dave, I considered what, 30, Most of them had more experience than you, but you want to know what made you so special to me? Oh, what's that, sir? [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
What? Huh? Well, make it fast.
I'm in the middle of telling a guy why he's so special to me.
No, no.
It's work related.
Yeah.
Okay.
Afternoon, Ed.
Hi, Jimmy.
I'm sorry I'm late, but the traffic on the freeway was so bad-- Oh, hi.
I'm Ed Harlow.
Hi.
I'm Dave Nelson.
Oh, yeah, the new guy, right.
Yeah, yeah.
So tell me what do you do here, Ed? I'm your news director.
You know, run the station, pick the stories, do the hiring, firing, what have you.
Come on back, Dave.
Uh.
Ed? I think Mr.
uh-- I think Mr.
James, uh, wanted to, uh see me in here.
No, no, I'm at the station right now.
Yeah.
No.
Then I got to go to the factory, then I got to go to the building site.
Huh? No, that's just for fun.
I like to watch the big trucks.
Yeah.
I got to go.
Um, Mr.
James, I just met Ed Harlow, the news director.
Oh, yeah, Ed.
You mean the former news director.
Oh, so he's staying on to train me, is that it? Dave, I haven't exactly told Ed he's being cut loose yet.
Oh, uh Well, I can come back tomorrow, or if he needs two weeks' notice, that's fine-- Two weeks? No.
I'd rather have you do it today.
Rather have me do what today? Fire Ed.
You want me to fire Ed? Well, it is in your contract-- hiring, firing, what have you.
Come on, I want you to meet the gang.
I Pick it up.
Mr.
James.
Mr.
James.
Oh, Dave, there you are.
This is Lisa.
How long are the pandas going to be here for? How many visitors have already seen the pandas? [SNAPPING FINGERS.]
Uh-huh.
All right.
All right.
Let me just ask you this-- do the pandas make any kind of noise or anything that might be interesting on the radio? All right, thank you.
Thank you.
I didn't actually need you to do it for me.
What are you going to be doing here? I'm the new g-guy.
I--I'm the new--new guy.
MR.
JAMES: 10 points! What? Are you kidding me? You pulling my chain? Sir, is there something wrong? I own a lot of Euro Disney.
Sir, do they know that I'm the new news director? Nope.
I thought I'd give you the pleasure of telling them.
Well, sir, I think I really have to tell Ed before I tell the rest of the staff.
That's just--I mean, that's just common courtesy.
Whatever floats your boat.
Matthew.
No, Dave.
No.
This is Matthew.
This is Dave Nelson.
Hi, Dave.
Hi.
What is it you're going to be doing here? Uh, sports.
New sports guy.
What? Hey, I'm just trying to keep your little secret till, uh till you give Ed the news.
Have you told him yet by the way? Well, I haven't really had the chance to-- Rick! This is Dave.
Hey, Dave.
What is it you're going to be doing for us, Dave? Sports.
I'm the new sports guy.
Dave, I've got to run.
I've got to get to the sporting goods store.
What are you buying, sir? The store.
Actually, the whole chain.
Today's my day to load up on the freebies.
Can I set you up with anything? Tube socks? Golf balls, what have you? Sir, I think that we really to talk about this.
Why? You think it's a bad investment? No, sir.
I wanted to talk about the Ed situation.
Thank you.
Now, sir, before I jump into this Ed thing, I just want--Hi, Ed.
Ed.
Dave.
Dave, Ed.
New--new sports guy.
I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about.
I've got to go.
Sports, huh? Going to ballgames and getting paid for it.
Doesn't hardly seem like work, does it? I'd kill for your job.
Hey, why don't we trade then, huh? Ha-ha-ha! Ah-ah-ah--ow! Ha ha! God.
Are you okay? Beth? It's my back-- it seizes up on me two, three, four times a week.
Oh, that's terrible.
That's just terrible.
Is there-- Is there anything I can-- Have you ever thought about maybe taking time off? No, no.
This--this job is the only thing that keeps my mind off the pain.
Beth! I called Dr.
Shelton and he can give you an adjustment if you can get over there right now.
Dave, I have to run, but let's talk about this later.
Ed, I was actually kind of hoping we can get this all squared away right now.
Why? Is it bad news? Well, that would depend on how you look at it, Ed.
Bad news is terrible for his back.
We try to keep it to a minimum.
Thank God this job gives me full medical coverage.
BILL:Has asked the U.
N.
Security council to set an October deadline for a complete troop withdrawal.
WNYX news time 9:28.
Catherine? Dave, would you like to see the production booth? Uh, sure, that'd be great.
Well, well, well.
Hello, young lovers.
Shut up, Rick.
Uh Oh.
So, uh, that Ed guy, he's quite an interesting fellow.
Well, between you and me, Ed is on his way out.
Oh, come on, so you know? God.
I'm so relieved, because it'd be great if I could have-- Oh, I'm sorry.
It would be great to have someone-- The cure for the common cold could be no further away than your kitchen cupboard.
Dr.
Jeffrey Chin has been dispensing herbal remedies from his office on Mott Street since 1953.
MAN: Chinese medicine has been around for thousands of years.
Okay, what were you saying? Oh.
How do you think I should handle this? Oh, just do your job well, and you'll be fine, because when Ed goes, Jimmy's going to make me news director.
Uh-huh.
Is this something that Jimmy has told you? No, but, uh, nobody else around here has been putting in and weekends for three years.
And Jimmy notices, believe me.
Lisa Miller, WNYX news radio in Chinatown.
Um Excuse me.
Uh, Lisa.
Lisa, have you ever heard the expression that the journey is its own reward? That's very profound, Dave You know, for a sports guy.
Ed.
Ed? Ed? Down here.
Oh, God, Ed.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Sometimes the pain makes me a little nauseous.
What's on your mind? How long have you been here at WNYX, Ed? Four years.
Four years, four good years from all that I've heard, Ed.
Ed, I just heard you gave Catherine the Al Gore interview, and I have some thoughts on that which I'd like to share with you.
Bill, uh, have you, uh, met Dave? New sports guy, right? Great, I love sports and I hear you're the best, buddy.
Oh yeah.
Where did you hear that? Iheard your audition tape.
Good stuff.
Good pipes.
Clean delivery.
I didn't send in a tape.
You're from Canada, eh? Wisconsin actually.
Wisconsin, cool.
The badger state.
The nation's dairy land.
Great country "out dair.
" Not so fast, Ed.
Don't you think I should do the Al Gore interview? Because phone interviews keep me alert, and if I'm not alert, I might just start reading the news very slowly like this I will see what I can do.
Thanks, buddy.
I know you'll make the right decision.
I love cheese.
Ciao.
That was completely disrespectful, wasn't it? I am the news director.
He can't talk to me like that.
Ed? Catherine wanted me to tell you-- her words, not mine-- that you have 5 seconds to drag your fat ass into the booth and make the right decision on the Al Gore interview.
Coffee, Dave? Oh, yes, please.
Great.
It's over by the booth.
Thank you.
Ed, um All right, that does it.
I quit.
I'm sorry.
What, Ed? I said I quit.
I am not gonna put up with this lunacy anymore.
I've had it with Bill.
I've had it with Catherine.
Uh-huh.
I've had it with the whole Bill-Catherine thing.
I don't need any Bills or any Catherines in my life.
I'll pick this up over the weekend.
I got it.
Ed, I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear you feel this way, but, obviously, there's no point in me trying to talk you out of a decision you've put so much thought into.
You got that right.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, all I can do is tell you how sorry I am.
You tell Jimmy he can find some other idiot to run this station.
I'll pass that along to him, Ed.
Yes! Hi.
Dave, can you believe this? They get $250 bucks for one of these things.
Doesn't even include the strings.
Look.
See? No strings.
Mr.
James, the Ed Harlow situation, it has been confronted and resolved.
Wow.
That was fast.
Boy, you are a cold-blooded son of a gun, Dave.
But, God bless you.
I didn't think you were the firing type.
Actually, Ed quit, but that saves you two weeks' severance pay.
Ed quit? No, I didn't want Ed to quit.
I wanted you to fire him.
Well, that's really sort of a moot point now, isn't it, sir? Get the box, will you, Dave? Dave, Ed quits three times a week.
Hell, sometimes he comes in on Sundays just to quit a few times without any distractions.
Well, I did not know that.
Well, looks like you got a walking, talking moot point to deal with, doesn't it? Pick it up.
Ed, can we talk for a minute? Not now.
I'm busy.
Look, Ed, it's really only going to-- Ed, Ed, Ed.
What? What did you think about my New-Yorker-of-the-week segment idea? It won't work.
But you know what, though-- I was reading an article in Broadcasting Monthly that said a station in Los Angeles just started doing it.
What do people in Los Angeles care about the New Yorker of the week? Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
In Los Angeles, they call it the Los-Angelino-of-the-week, see? But that's funny, though.
Listen, um Broadcasting Monthly said that if-- Oh, Matthew, uh I don't read Broadcasting Monthly.
Only idiots read Broadcasting Monthly, okay? But thank you for your input.
Yeah.
Oh, Matthew, it's all right.
I read Broadcasting Monthly too.
I just don't know why he has to talk to me that way.
Um, Matthew Matthew, things are going to change.
You just have to give it some time.
I've given it enough time.
Things won't change.
Please.
Matthew, you can't tell anyone about this right now, but, uh, I'm actually the new news director.
What? Yeah, I'm going to be firing Ed.
Are you serious? Finally.
Oh, this is great.
This is-- Thank you, David.
Thank you.
That's all right, but we'll have to keep this to ourselves for the time being.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks, Matthew.
CATHERINE:highs reaching the upper 40s.
Tonight, temperatures will dip into the low teens Ed? Ed, can we talk, please? Ed, thanks.
I'm sorry.
I got excited.
I had to tell someone.
Matthew.
Tell everyone what? Dave here's the new news director.
Oh, but don't tell anybody, though.
What? I'm sorry, Lisa.
I really wanted to tell you about this earlier.
Wait a minute.
What's going on here? Lisa, did you think that you were going to be the next news director? What are you talking about? Are you gonna cry right here or, uh, you gonna save it up for the cab ride home? Shut up, Rick.
Come on.
This is obviously very humiliating for her right now.
Her dream just died.
Well, actually, Jimmy offered this job to Lisa, but she turned it down.
That's right, isn't it, Lisa? Yes.
That's right.
I'm very happy where I am.
I'm not at a point in my career where it's worth it to me to fire someone so I can take their job.
Hey, Dave, I guess officially, I work for you now, so would you like me to fire Ed? No, no, no, Beth but thank you very much for, uh, for your, uh, let's just call it moxie.
Fire him as soon as he walks out that door.
Excuse me? Fire him right here, right now, in front of everyone.
Trust me.
It will help you down the line.
You're not exactly establishing yourself as an authority figure with the staff.
She's right, you know.
Please.
Thank you.
It's like, you know how they say when it's your first day in prison you should act crazy and beat someone with a chair so nobody will mess with you? I've never actually heard that before, Beth.
Will this chair do, or do you want a lighter one to beat him with? Ed, can I talk to you in your office for just a minute, please? No, no.
You've got to do the sports update.
We do the sports at 11 after the hour.
You've got 30 seconds.
We'll talk later.
Go.
Go, go.
We'll talk after this, all right, okay? What kind of cue do you want? Visual? Roll-in? Audio precue? Countdown? Whatever you normally do will be fine.
I don't know if you've worked with one of these we call it a microphone.
Thanks, Bill.
You know, I did do a little bit of this in college.
Then you won't be needing my help.
Just let me know when I'm on, all right? All right.
"New York, 108, Philadelphia, 96.
" Philadelphia, Philadelphia.
Philadelphia.
Is that right for level? That fine? Philadelphia, okay.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
Just let me know when I'm on, Bill.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
The Philadelphia 76 ers played a game of basketball today, and here's Bill McNeal to tell you all about it.
The Knicks made it a pair at Madison Square last night as Charles Oakley led the boys in white and blue to a 108-96 embarrassment of the Orlando Magic in the second of a five-game series.
What the hell was that? Ed, uh, I'm sorry.
I'm not really much of a sports guy.
Oh, really? Ed, can we talk about this in your office, please? No, we can talk about it right here.
I don't know why Jimmy hired you, but get the hell out of here.
You're fired.
Huh? Ed I think if you go into your office, I can explain.
This ought to be good.
ALL: Oh, it will be.
Ed, do you know the meaning of the word "irony"? Oh, come on.
Poor Ed.
What are you talking about? You wanted Ed out of here as much as anybody.
Lisa, it is still a very sad thing when a member of the family has to be terminated.
Ed will need a moment to digest this.
I was sure you're gonna be in there for at least an hour.
Oh, no, no, no.
I just spelled out the facts for Ed.
And I gave him a brief memo that sort of outlined the factors that led to this decision, and I believe that that is a perfectly reasonable response considering the circumstances.
Dave, if you have a moment, I have a few thoughts I'd like to share with you.
Oh, yes, the Al Gore thing.
Catherine, you'll be doing the Al Gore interview, okay? Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, Bill.
Your thoughts? W-w-why? Why? Because I'm the boss, Bill.
That's why.
That's why, Bill.
And I will not be manipulated.
I will not be contradicted, and I will not be intimidated.
Well.
I didn't realize you were a man of such strong conviction, of such deeply felt moral tenacity, of such remarkable centeredness.
All right, Bill.
I'm not going to be sucked up to either.
Well, you've eliminated all my options.
All that's left is backstabbing.
Matthew, can I borrow your chair for a second? Okay, okay, okay.
Ed, look.
I know this isn't going to mean much, but if you need a reference, I'm more than happy to help.
Oh, thanks, but I'm fine.
In fact, I'm great.
That's good, Ed.
Because I'm going to go across the street now to WXYP.
Do you know who runs WXYP? No.
How could you? It has to do with news radio.
My old college buddy, Tom Novachek.
And Tom Novachek has told me I have a standing offer to be his news director any time I want.
So, uh, gosh so long, suckers.
That's great, Ed.
I think that's great for Ed.
I think we should all be happy for Ed.
I mean, that goes to show you, even the darkest cloud is going to have a silver-- Dave, WXYP went out of business three months ago.
I told Ed to read Broadcasting Monthly.
What are you guys talking about? WXYP.
You know, that place never really recovered once Tom Novachek passed away.
Dave, you wanted to talk to me? Oh, yeah.
Oh, I see you bought that sporting goods store.
No, I decided to buy a hockey team instead.
What's on your mind? Well, uh, two things, sir.
Good! First, I want you to promise me that when my time is up here, you will tell me yourself and not have my replacement fire me.
What's the second thing? Well, I wanted to let you know that I understand now that what you put me through today was a test.
Could be.
Or it could be I'm just making it all up as I go along.
Well, which is it? You'll never know.
But either way, you work for me now, so see you tomorrow, Dave.
Good night.
Good night, Lisa.
Oh, Lisa.
Um, for what it's worth, I just wanted to tell you I think you'd make a great news director.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
You're welcome.
And who knows? Maybe some day I'll get my chance at the job.
I'm sure you will.
Yeah.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but within three months, four, tops.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
You're welcome.
What? You've got, like, an eyelash.
No, you're not-- Here? Where? M-m-may I? There we go.
Thank you.
Listen, I, um, I want to thank you for covering for me out there today.
Gosh.
That? Please.
Forget about that.
I already have.
Well you don't really need to-- See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Hi.
I'm looking for Dave Nelson.
Oh, I'm Dave Nelson.
Oh, hi.
I'm Jeff Adams, the new guy? W-w-w-what kind of new guy? Uh, the new sports guy.
Sports? Are you okay? I'm fine.
Yeah, yeah.
So, Jeff, what do you think of the big game tonight? Knicks/Orlando? Well, Shaquille's scoring in the low 30s, but the Knicks are 28-8 at home.
I take the Knicks by 12.
Great to have you aboard, Jeff.
Print legibly, no cursive, signature at the "X".
Thank you.
WNYX news radio, huh? I'm the new news director.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Is there anything else I can do for you? Oh, you see, it's 8:57.
so I'm going to wait another 35 seconds before heading up so I can arrive Uh-huh.
That's a nice jacket.
It's just a uniform.
It comes with the job.
Ah, you don't say? Let's see, 33, 34 I'm going to head on up now.
WNYX.
That's on the 15th floor, right? that's the business office.
You probably want the broadcast offices, don't you? Uh, yes, yes.
That's at the Criterion building, 58th and Madison.
Three blocks up and and six blocks over.
Oh, my God.
The time? Welcome to New York! [.]
This is WNYX news radio.
Serving Manhattan, the outer boroughs, and the entire Tri-State area.
Joining us at 6:00 Excuse me.
I'm looking for the station owner's office.
Down the hall to the right.
Thanks.
Any time, but he's not in there right now.
Oh, uh do you know where he is? Mr.
James? Yes? Oh, Mr.
James, I'm so sorry I'm late.
Were you late? I didn't notice.
Walk all the way from Wisconsin, huh? I'm kidding.
Come on, Dave.
So, Dave, what are your goals here at WNYX? Well, I just want to be the best damn news director I can be.
Good, good.
That kind of strong language don't fly with me, but, uh, you got your own style, I guess.
I'm sorry.
You know, Dave, I considered what, 30, Most of them had more experience than you, but you want to know what made you so special to me? Oh, what's that, sir? [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
What? Huh? Well, make it fast.
I'm in the middle of telling a guy why he's so special to me.
No, no.
It's work related.
Yeah.
Okay.
Afternoon, Ed.
Hi, Jimmy.
I'm sorry I'm late, but the traffic on the freeway was so bad-- Oh, hi.
I'm Ed Harlow.
Hi.
I'm Dave Nelson.
Oh, yeah, the new guy, right.
Yeah, yeah.
So tell me what do you do here, Ed? I'm your news director.
You know, run the station, pick the stories, do the hiring, firing, what have you.
Come on back, Dave.
Uh.
Ed? I think Mr.
uh-- I think Mr.
James, uh, wanted to, uh see me in here.
No, no, I'm at the station right now.
Yeah.
No.
Then I got to go to the factory, then I got to go to the building site.
Huh? No, that's just for fun.
I like to watch the big trucks.
Yeah.
I got to go.
Um, Mr.
James, I just met Ed Harlow, the news director.
Oh, yeah, Ed.
You mean the former news director.
Oh, so he's staying on to train me, is that it? Dave, I haven't exactly told Ed he's being cut loose yet.
Oh, uh Well, I can come back tomorrow, or if he needs two weeks' notice, that's fine-- Two weeks? No.
I'd rather have you do it today.
Rather have me do what today? Fire Ed.
You want me to fire Ed? Well, it is in your contract-- hiring, firing, what have you.
Come on, I want you to meet the gang.
I Pick it up.
Mr.
James.
Mr.
James.
Oh, Dave, there you are.
This is Lisa.
How long are the pandas going to be here for? How many visitors have already seen the pandas? [SNAPPING FINGERS.]
Uh-huh.
All right.
All right.
Let me just ask you this-- do the pandas make any kind of noise or anything that might be interesting on the radio? All right, thank you.
Thank you.
I didn't actually need you to do it for me.
What are you going to be doing here? I'm the new g-guy.
I--I'm the new--new guy.
MR.
JAMES: 10 points! What? Are you kidding me? You pulling my chain? Sir, is there something wrong? I own a lot of Euro Disney.
Sir, do they know that I'm the new news director? Nope.
I thought I'd give you the pleasure of telling them.
Well, sir, I think I really have to tell Ed before I tell the rest of the staff.
That's just--I mean, that's just common courtesy.
Whatever floats your boat.
Matthew.
No, Dave.
No.
This is Matthew.
This is Dave Nelson.
Hi, Dave.
Hi.
What is it you're going to be doing here? Uh, sports.
New sports guy.
What? Hey, I'm just trying to keep your little secret till, uh till you give Ed the news.
Have you told him yet by the way? Well, I haven't really had the chance to-- Rick! This is Dave.
Hey, Dave.
What is it you're going to be doing for us, Dave? Sports.
I'm the new sports guy.
Dave, I've got to run.
I've got to get to the sporting goods store.
What are you buying, sir? The store.
Actually, the whole chain.
Today's my day to load up on the freebies.
Can I set you up with anything? Tube socks? Golf balls, what have you? Sir, I think that we really to talk about this.
Why? You think it's a bad investment? No, sir.
I wanted to talk about the Ed situation.
Thank you.
Now, sir, before I jump into this Ed thing, I just want--Hi, Ed.
Ed.
Dave.
Dave, Ed.
New--new sports guy.
I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about.
I've got to go.
Sports, huh? Going to ballgames and getting paid for it.
Doesn't hardly seem like work, does it? I'd kill for your job.
Hey, why don't we trade then, huh? Ha-ha-ha! Ah-ah-ah--ow! Ha ha! God.
Are you okay? Beth? It's my back-- it seizes up on me two, three, four times a week.
Oh, that's terrible.
That's just terrible.
Is there-- Is there anything I can-- Have you ever thought about maybe taking time off? No, no.
This--this job is the only thing that keeps my mind off the pain.
Beth! I called Dr.
Shelton and he can give you an adjustment if you can get over there right now.
Dave, I have to run, but let's talk about this later.
Ed, I was actually kind of hoping we can get this all squared away right now.
Why? Is it bad news? Well, that would depend on how you look at it, Ed.
Bad news is terrible for his back.
We try to keep it to a minimum.
Thank God this job gives me full medical coverage.
BILL:Has asked the U.
N.
Security council to set an October deadline for a complete troop withdrawal.
WNYX news time 9:28.
Catherine? Dave, would you like to see the production booth? Uh, sure, that'd be great.
Well, well, well.
Hello, young lovers.
Shut up, Rick.
Uh Oh.
So, uh, that Ed guy, he's quite an interesting fellow.
Well, between you and me, Ed is on his way out.
Oh, come on, so you know? God.
I'm so relieved, because it'd be great if I could have-- Oh, I'm sorry.
It would be great to have someone-- The cure for the common cold could be no further away than your kitchen cupboard.
Dr.
Jeffrey Chin has been dispensing herbal remedies from his office on Mott Street since 1953.
MAN: Chinese medicine has been around for thousands of years.
Okay, what were you saying? Oh.
How do you think I should handle this? Oh, just do your job well, and you'll be fine, because when Ed goes, Jimmy's going to make me news director.
Uh-huh.
Is this something that Jimmy has told you? No, but, uh, nobody else around here has been putting in and weekends for three years.
And Jimmy notices, believe me.
Lisa Miller, WNYX news radio in Chinatown.
Um Excuse me.
Uh, Lisa.
Lisa, have you ever heard the expression that the journey is its own reward? That's very profound, Dave You know, for a sports guy.
Ed.
Ed? Ed? Down here.
Oh, God, Ed.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Sometimes the pain makes me a little nauseous.
What's on your mind? How long have you been here at WNYX, Ed? Four years.
Four years, four good years from all that I've heard, Ed.
Ed, I just heard you gave Catherine the Al Gore interview, and I have some thoughts on that which I'd like to share with you.
Bill, uh, have you, uh, met Dave? New sports guy, right? Great, I love sports and I hear you're the best, buddy.
Oh yeah.
Where did you hear that? Iheard your audition tape.
Good stuff.
Good pipes.
Clean delivery.
I didn't send in a tape.
You're from Canada, eh? Wisconsin actually.
Wisconsin, cool.
The badger state.
The nation's dairy land.
Great country "out dair.
" Not so fast, Ed.
Don't you think I should do the Al Gore interview? Because phone interviews keep me alert, and if I'm not alert, I might just start reading the news very slowly like this I will see what I can do.
Thanks, buddy.
I know you'll make the right decision.
I love cheese.
Ciao.
That was completely disrespectful, wasn't it? I am the news director.
He can't talk to me like that.
Ed? Catherine wanted me to tell you-- her words, not mine-- that you have 5 seconds to drag your fat ass into the booth and make the right decision on the Al Gore interview.
Coffee, Dave? Oh, yes, please.
Great.
It's over by the booth.
Thank you.
Ed, um All right, that does it.
I quit.
I'm sorry.
What, Ed? I said I quit.
I am not gonna put up with this lunacy anymore.
I've had it with Bill.
I've had it with Catherine.
Uh-huh.
I've had it with the whole Bill-Catherine thing.
I don't need any Bills or any Catherines in my life.
I'll pick this up over the weekend.
I got it.
Ed, I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear you feel this way, but, obviously, there's no point in me trying to talk you out of a decision you've put so much thought into.
You got that right.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, all I can do is tell you how sorry I am.
You tell Jimmy he can find some other idiot to run this station.
I'll pass that along to him, Ed.
Yes! Hi.
Dave, can you believe this? They get $250 bucks for one of these things.
Doesn't even include the strings.
Look.
See? No strings.
Mr.
James, the Ed Harlow situation, it has been confronted and resolved.
Wow.
That was fast.
Boy, you are a cold-blooded son of a gun, Dave.
But, God bless you.
I didn't think you were the firing type.
Actually, Ed quit, but that saves you two weeks' severance pay.
Ed quit? No, I didn't want Ed to quit.
I wanted you to fire him.
Well, that's really sort of a moot point now, isn't it, sir? Get the box, will you, Dave? Dave, Ed quits three times a week.
Hell, sometimes he comes in on Sundays just to quit a few times without any distractions.
Well, I did not know that.
Well, looks like you got a walking, talking moot point to deal with, doesn't it? Pick it up.
Ed, can we talk for a minute? Not now.
I'm busy.
Look, Ed, it's really only going to-- Ed, Ed, Ed.
What? What did you think about my New-Yorker-of-the-week segment idea? It won't work.
But you know what, though-- I was reading an article in Broadcasting Monthly that said a station in Los Angeles just started doing it.
What do people in Los Angeles care about the New Yorker of the week? Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
In Los Angeles, they call it the Los-Angelino-of-the-week, see? But that's funny, though.
Listen, um Broadcasting Monthly said that if-- Oh, Matthew, uh I don't read Broadcasting Monthly.
Only idiots read Broadcasting Monthly, okay? But thank you for your input.
Yeah.
Oh, Matthew, it's all right.
I read Broadcasting Monthly too.
I just don't know why he has to talk to me that way.
Um, Matthew Matthew, things are going to change.
You just have to give it some time.
I've given it enough time.
Things won't change.
Please.
Matthew, you can't tell anyone about this right now, but, uh, I'm actually the new news director.
What? Yeah, I'm going to be firing Ed.
Are you serious? Finally.
Oh, this is great.
This is-- Thank you, David.
Thank you.
That's all right, but we'll have to keep this to ourselves for the time being.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks, Matthew.
CATHERINE:highs reaching the upper 40s.
Tonight, temperatures will dip into the low teens Ed? Ed, can we talk, please? Ed, thanks.
I'm sorry.
I got excited.
I had to tell someone.
Matthew.
Tell everyone what? Dave here's the new news director.
Oh, but don't tell anybody, though.
What? I'm sorry, Lisa.
I really wanted to tell you about this earlier.
Wait a minute.
What's going on here? Lisa, did you think that you were going to be the next news director? What are you talking about? Are you gonna cry right here or, uh, you gonna save it up for the cab ride home? Shut up, Rick.
Come on.
This is obviously very humiliating for her right now.
Her dream just died.
Well, actually, Jimmy offered this job to Lisa, but she turned it down.
That's right, isn't it, Lisa? Yes.
That's right.
I'm very happy where I am.
I'm not at a point in my career where it's worth it to me to fire someone so I can take their job.
Hey, Dave, I guess officially, I work for you now, so would you like me to fire Ed? No, no, no, Beth but thank you very much for, uh, for your, uh, let's just call it moxie.
Fire him as soon as he walks out that door.
Excuse me? Fire him right here, right now, in front of everyone.
Trust me.
It will help you down the line.
You're not exactly establishing yourself as an authority figure with the staff.
She's right, you know.
Please.
Thank you.
It's like, you know how they say when it's your first day in prison you should act crazy and beat someone with a chair so nobody will mess with you? I've never actually heard that before, Beth.
Will this chair do, or do you want a lighter one to beat him with? Ed, can I talk to you in your office for just a minute, please? No, no.
You've got to do the sports update.
We do the sports at 11 after the hour.
You've got 30 seconds.
We'll talk later.
Go.
Go, go.
We'll talk after this, all right, okay? What kind of cue do you want? Visual? Roll-in? Audio precue? Countdown? Whatever you normally do will be fine.
I don't know if you've worked with one of these we call it a microphone.
Thanks, Bill.
You know, I did do a little bit of this in college.
Then you won't be needing my help.
Just let me know when I'm on, all right? All right.
"New York, 108, Philadelphia, 96.
" Philadelphia, Philadelphia.
Philadelphia.
Is that right for level? That fine? Philadelphia, okay.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
Just let me know when I'm on, Bill.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
The Philadelphia 76ers.
The Philadelphia 76 ers played a game of basketball today, and here's Bill McNeal to tell you all about it.
The Knicks made it a pair at Madison Square last night as Charles Oakley led the boys in white and blue to a 108-96 embarrassment of the Orlando Magic in the second of a five-game series.
What the hell was that? Ed, uh, I'm sorry.
I'm not really much of a sports guy.
Oh, really? Ed, can we talk about this in your office, please? No, we can talk about it right here.
I don't know why Jimmy hired you, but get the hell out of here.
You're fired.
Huh? Ed I think if you go into your office, I can explain.
This ought to be good.
ALL: Oh, it will be.
Ed, do you know the meaning of the word "irony"? Oh, come on.
Poor Ed.
What are you talking about? You wanted Ed out of here as much as anybody.
Lisa, it is still a very sad thing when a member of the family has to be terminated.
Ed will need a moment to digest this.
I was sure you're gonna be in there for at least an hour.
Oh, no, no, no.
I just spelled out the facts for Ed.
And I gave him a brief memo that sort of outlined the factors that led to this decision, and I believe that that is a perfectly reasonable response considering the circumstances.
Dave, if you have a moment, I have a few thoughts I'd like to share with you.
Oh, yes, the Al Gore thing.
Catherine, you'll be doing the Al Gore interview, okay? Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, Bill.
Your thoughts? W-w-why? Why? Because I'm the boss, Bill.
That's why.
That's why, Bill.
And I will not be manipulated.
I will not be contradicted, and I will not be intimidated.
Well.
I didn't realize you were a man of such strong conviction, of such deeply felt moral tenacity, of such remarkable centeredness.
All right, Bill.
I'm not going to be sucked up to either.
Well, you've eliminated all my options.
All that's left is backstabbing.
Matthew, can I borrow your chair for a second? Okay, okay, okay.
Ed, look.
I know this isn't going to mean much, but if you need a reference, I'm more than happy to help.
Oh, thanks, but I'm fine.
In fact, I'm great.
That's good, Ed.
Because I'm going to go across the street now to WXYP.
Do you know who runs WXYP? No.
How could you? It has to do with news radio.
My old college buddy, Tom Novachek.
And Tom Novachek has told me I have a standing offer to be his news director any time I want.
So, uh, gosh so long, suckers.
That's great, Ed.
I think that's great for Ed.
I think we should all be happy for Ed.
I mean, that goes to show you, even the darkest cloud is going to have a silver-- Dave, WXYP went out of business three months ago.
I told Ed to read Broadcasting Monthly.
What are you guys talking about? WXYP.
You know, that place never really recovered once Tom Novachek passed away.
Dave, you wanted to talk to me? Oh, yeah.
Oh, I see you bought that sporting goods store.
No, I decided to buy a hockey team instead.
What's on your mind? Well, uh, two things, sir.
Good! First, I want you to promise me that when my time is up here, you will tell me yourself and not have my replacement fire me.
What's the second thing? Well, I wanted to let you know that I understand now that what you put me through today was a test.
Could be.
Or it could be I'm just making it all up as I go along.
Well, which is it? You'll never know.
But either way, you work for me now, so see you tomorrow, Dave.
Good night.
Good night, Lisa.
Oh, Lisa.
Um, for what it's worth, I just wanted to tell you I think you'd make a great news director.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
You're welcome.
And who knows? Maybe some day I'll get my chance at the job.
I'm sure you will.
Yeah.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but within three months, four, tops.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
You're welcome.
What? You've got, like, an eyelash.
No, you're not-- Here? Where? M-m-may I? There we go.
Thank you.
Listen, I, um, I want to thank you for covering for me out there today.
Gosh.
That? Please.
Forget about that.
I already have.
Well you don't really need to-- See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Hi.
I'm looking for Dave Nelson.
Oh, I'm Dave Nelson.
Oh, hi.
I'm Jeff Adams, the new guy? W-w-w-what kind of new guy? Uh, the new sports guy.
Sports? Are you okay? I'm fine.
Yeah, yeah.
So, Jeff, what do you think of the big game tonight? Knicks/Orlando? Well, Shaquille's scoring in the low 30s, but the Knicks are 28-8 at home.
I take the Knicks by 12.
Great to have you aboard, Jeff.