Obliterated (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Are Are you Are you
Are you ready? ♪
[electronic music playing]
[crowd cheering]
Hey, birthday girl! Happy 21st!
[all whooping]
Have fun tonight, ladies.
Just remember to make good
choices.
[Chad] Hey, bottle chick!
Be a sweetheart and grab
another round of these bad boys?
Get it yourself. I only serve VIP.
Ignore her. You guys are very important.
Oh! Beach ball!
[muffled electronic music continues]
- Hurry up. Hurry up!
- I am hurrying.
[beeping]
[Ava] There you go.
- [Maya] Ava, we might have a problem.
- What is it?
My sensors are picking up something.
Got a countdown and heat signature.
Coming from under the pool.
What? How much time?
- Eighty-three seconds and counting.
- That doesn't make sense.
I've got eyes on the target.
Blowing himself up is not his MO.
I don't know.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
MOs change. This guy's a wild card.
Yeah, well so are you.
The hell were you doing
talking to me earlier?
Playing a Vegas douchebag,
like we talked about.
- The role you were born to play.
- [exclaims]
Sixty seconds.
Ready to engage.
Whoo-hoo!
Gomez, look alive.
[Angela] Copy that.
Target is in the crosshairs.
I can outfit his head with a new hole
on your command. Just say the word.
McKnight, you do not say the word.
Koslov is no martyr.
Killing him does nothing
to stop the threat.
Under a minute means there's no time
to find and deactivate the nuke.
For all we know,
his phone is the detonator.
I have a clean shot.
I can take out his muscle.
No collateral damage.
Except flushing months of work
down the drain.
Do not take that shot.
- That's an order.
- I give my team orders.
And I give you orders.
How the fuck do you not get that by now?
[music plays in slow-motion]
- Twenty seconds.
- [Chad] Come on, Winters.
We're supposed to stop the bad guy,
not sit here while he blows up Vegas.
He's not blowing up Vegas.
At least not until he's miles away.
- How can you be sure?
- It's my job to be sure.
- Ten seconds.
- Am I going hot or not?
Do not take that shot.
He's a businessman. Not a suicide bomber.
Five, four, three
- Wait!
- [firecrackers exploding]
[crowd cheering]
[Maya] The signal's tied to the DJ booth.
They must have rigged pyro for the show.
You don't say.
Told you.
Sorry, team.
Tech's a little oversensitive.
Don't sweat it, Tech Chick.
We all make mistakes.
God didn't when he made those abs.
This team can't afford to make mistakes.
Tighten up.
Yes, ma'am. Roger that. Sorry.
I'm going in.
You got out of the water. Warm and cozy.
There she is. The jewel of Las Vegas.
[in Russian]
My edges are too soft to be a jewel.
[chuckles] Your Russian is flawless.
Where are you from?
Kalamazoo, Michigan. [chuckles]
[in Russian] My aunt's from
the Zamoskvorechye district, in Moscow.
That explains how your beauty
stands out here.
If you wanna get away,
I'm leaving on my jet tonight.
[in English] Where'd we be going?
Well, that would take the mystery away.
Let's just say you'll be
better off with me than staying here.
Why do you say that?
Something tells me that tonight
the city's going to be dead.
Here, give me your number.
I'll call you when I'm ready to leave.
Don't tell. I could get fired.
Your secret is safe with me.
[in Russian] Hey, boss
Our guests have arrived
and are ready to eat.
They are waiting for you.
[in Russian] Let them wait,
it's only appetizers.
I'll be on time for the main course.
You guys are no fun.
[chuckles softly]
[in English] I must go.
I'll see you tonight.
Definitely.
Georgie!
This is it. Koslov's meeting the buyers.
Gomez, rendezvous out front.
Full tactical pursuit.
No. He feels our surveillance
we'll lose him.
Ivan may be wild, but he's not reckless.
- So, we sit here and do nothing?
- I didn't say we do nothing.
Get the vulture.
Hi!
[in English] Whole gang is here, huh?
Apologies for my delay.
Wanted to do the last dance with Las Vegas
before the party is over.
Huh? A thing of beauty, isn't it?
- Five kilotons of destructive power.
- [device clicking]
Enough to level the city,
and also compact enough
to fit in the trunk of your car.
Mobile, undetectable.
All you have to do
is set the timer and fly away.
And in a few hours, the city goes
poof.
In a mushroom cloud.
[device beeps]
It's the real deal.
[cell phone chimes]
- [man] The security's in your account.
- Wonderful. Let's celebrate!
And remember our arrangement.
Do not press the button until our plane
is 20,000 feet up in the air.
We'll wait till your flight attendant
has served drinks.
No, she prefers "stewardess."
Pleasure doing business with you.
[alarm blaring]
This is the United States Military.
Everyone put your hands on your heads.
[in Russian] Bitch!
[indistinct chatter]
Guess we're doing it the hard way.
Vulture's going hot.
[man grunts]
Canister deployed.
It's all yours, McKnight.
Limit your fire.
Winters wants these fuckers alive.
[in Russian] Kill them all, bitch!
[yelling]
[grunts]
Change of plans! Take 'em all down!
Get down.
- Heads or tails?
- Heads.
Phew.
[man grunts]
[groans]
- Nice work.
- Yeah.
[grunts]
Oh, fuck.
[grunts]
- [grunts]
- [screams]
Motherfucker.
[gun fires]
[guns firing]
Take him.
- I'm out. Toss me a mag.
- What? No thank you?
[Trunk over comms] East wing clear.
Check the back room.
- [guns firing]
- [groans]
[Chad] Winters.
[Ava] It's Koslov. He has the nuke.
Fuck.
[indistinct chatter in Russian]
Gomez. Little help?
- No shot. Hang tight a minute.
- We don't have a minute.
It's a figure of speech.
Three, two, one, bedtime.
[man groans]
[Angela] All clear.
You got that right.
[Ava] He's in one of these rooms.
[Chad] Clear!
[screams]
[Chad] What the fuck?
[whimpers]
- Please don't kill me.
- We're the US Government.
- You're okay.
- Looks like someone had a party.
None of that's mine.
I've just been hooking up with this guy.
I don't know if he's a drug dealer.
I don't do that shit. Like, usually.
Relax. We're gonna get you someplace safe.
You just sit tight.
Wait. You're leaving me here?
[shushes]
[strained grunting]
[Chad] He must be in here.
We have him cornered.
- He could have an army in there.
- Bring 'em on.
Wait.
This is a vault room.
The door's made of reinforced steel.
You'll break your leg.
[beeping]
Lerner. We have a secure door.
Electronic lock. Can you open it remotely?
You bet. Hang on.
Just finding the right frequency.
- Find it faster.
- Yes, ma'am. That should do it.
- [door unlocks]
- You're the tits, Tech Chick.
I'm the tits.
Back away from the bomb. It's over.
Mmm. My little Jewel of Las Vegas.
Well, this is where you are wrong.
[beeping rapidly]
I've activated the weapon.
You didn't come this far
to go down with the ship.
No, I didn't.
But if there is no ship,
what's the point of treading water?
He's not bluffing.
Your bomb tech as good as they say he is?
Best in the business.
He better be.
[grunts]
[Chad] Two more!
Get me Hagerty.
All right.
Let's see this bitch.
[beeping]
[chuckles]
[Hagerty] Looks like we got a little time.
- [beeping continues]
- [exhales]
[exhales deeply] This puppy's hot.
- Detectable C-4. PETN fuse.
- [liquid bubbling]
This thing's a beaut.
Anybody else getting a half chub?
[chuckles]
- What's he doing?
- He's looking for a perfect song.
All bomb guys are weirdos,
but trust me, he's an artist.
Just let him do his thing.
Will you find a song already?
Just relax, sweetheart.
Okay, the whole key to this is just
to forget that there's a clock at all.
So? There's no clock.
There is no
["Feeling Good" by Michael Bublé playing]
Birds flying high ♪
[imperceptible]
You know how I feel ♪
Sun in the sky ♪
You know how I feel ♪
Breeze driftin' on by ♪
You know how I feel ♪
It's a new dawn ♪
It's a new day ♪
It's a new life ♪
- For me ♪
- For me ♪
- And I'm feeling good ♪
- And I'm feeling good ♪
- I'm feeling good ♪
- I'm feeling good ♪
- [electrical zapping]
- [powers down]
[both sighing]
Who has one thumb
and just saved Las Vegas?
This guy!
That motherfucker!
- Yeah!
- Yes!
Yes!
- Fuck yeah! Yeah!
- [yells excitedly]
[chanting] USA! USA! USA!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
[screaming excitedly]
[Hagerty] Yes, baby!
- Great work.
- [Maya] Thank you.
[Chad] Look at this motherfucker. Goddamn.
Oh, man. Koslov's in custody.
Bomb deactivated. Crisis averted.
This town should throw us
a goddamn ticker-tape parade.
[women squealing]
That was quick.
Ladies, you wanna meet a real American
hero?
What the hell?
A DJ? You gotta be kidding me.
We just saved the world
and this candy ass gets all the love?
- [Trunk] Candy ass.
- That's the world we live in, yo.
Had we streamed our take down on TikTok,
we'd be trending.
No one's ever gonna know what we did.
Because until all this is declassified,
today never happened.
So, what now?
Mission's over.
We go back to the hotel, pack up.
I ship off to Langley, you to Fort Meade,
everyone else to their respective bases.
We disband and await word
of our next assignments.
No. Whoa! Wait, wait, wait.
Fuck that.
We spent months
hunting this son of a bitch.
We finally nabbed the nuke,
we fuck up his whole program,
and we're supposed to just
quietly go our own separate ways?
We're in Las Vegas,
the party capital of the world.
And if the world knew
what we did here today,
they'd want us to party
like the rock stars we are.
Fuck! They'd demand it.
- Fuckin' A, they would.
- Fuck yeah.
2200 hours.
Details TBD, but hear me when I say this.
I am going to empty every cent
that's left in our operational war chest.
Because tonight
we're gonna show this town
how to celebrate real American heroes.
- Fuck yeah! Yeah!
- Hell yeah!
- Let's do it!
- [Angela] Yeah!
Everyone's invited.
- Ready to get fucked up?
- Ready to get fucked
up.
What do you say, Winters?
Send your regrets now or ghost us later?
I'll get back to you.
Copy. We won't hold our breath.
[all cheering]
[shower running]
[man] Ava Winters.
- Will you be my wife?
- [Ava] I can't believe this is happening.
[cell phone ringing]
Good evening, sir.
Good is an understatement.
I'd call it a pretty damn
fantastic evening.
When you work in our field,
the stakes are always high, but today
that was historic.
Would have preferred things neater.
The buyer wasn't on our radar.
He's this Swedish blockchain entrepreneur,
who thought he could skyrocket his crypto
by destroying a massive amount
of American currency.
Guy sees one Bond film
and thinks he can be the next Max Zorin.
I'll be on a flight in the morning.
I want to discuss something.
- Winters, no.
- You haven't even heard the brief, sir.
This mission went longer
than you or I could have predicted.
You never had a chance to grieve.
- I'm fine, sir.
- You're taking some time.
The world will still have plenty of trash
to take out when you return.
He would've been proud of you.
I know.
Did you get the President's gift?
Yes. Thank you. It's very generous, sir.
Pop it open.
You're officially on vacation. Enjoy it.
Tonight, I'm gon' be rocking it
Dropping it ♪
Shake my ass, no stopping it ♪
[indistinct chattering and cheering]
I look hot in it ♪
Rocking it, dropping it ♪
Shake my ass, no stopping it ♪
I look hot in it, hot in it
I look hot in it ♪
[Chad] Yes, Trunky!
You got my end of mission gift! Fits good!
Like a glove! Thanks, chief.
Almost forgot. I got something
for you, too. I hope it fits.
Gracias, this is
What is this?
Mmm. You crack it like a chem light.
Glows in the dark, can't miss any action.
- Beat you to death with it.
- Watch the face.
That is not what it's used for.
I seen some films showing its proper use.
I'll send you the link.
But now for your real gifts.
Fucking drugs. Purest MDMA in the city.
Knight, I already got gummies in me.
Shouldn't add Molly to the mix.
Molly's a good girl.
She doesn't wanna fuck with gummies.
She just makes 'em dance
like no one's watching.
Fuck it, I'm in.
- [Angela] You are.
- Yes.
- [waiter] Here ya go.
- Here we go.
- Gracias. Great.
- Uno mas.
To bad guys and bad bitches.
Beware when the three of us
are on the prowl, you're going down.
Yo, someone's going down. That's for sure.
- Boom.
- [glass clinks]
- [exhales]
- [chortles] Ooh! Yeah.
[woman whooping]
Yo, Mac, there's something
I've been meaning to talk to you about.
Kind of personal.
Alpha Sierra Sierra, twelve o'clock,
pillow princess in the crosshairs.
Oh! Bachelorette party. Nice.
[Angela] Tiara's mine.
[Trunk] The bride?
Groom won't appreciate that too much.
[Angela] It's like in the field.
Target's in your sights,
forget their personal lives,
or lose your nerve.
Goddamn you're cold-blooded.
She's all yours.
All right, so there's two,
four, six, seven.
- Yeah. Trunk and I'll divvy up the rest.
- Agreed. Engage targets, y'all.
Let's do it. Hey, you in?
We'll talk about that thing later?
Yeah. Let's have some fun. Let's do it.
[Paul] Honey, death lurks around
every street corner.
No, I'm not being overdramatic.
Prom night is the most dangerous night
for teenage drinking and driving.
Make sure Jen has a limo,
a driver without a record,
and to be home before midnight.
Honey. That's not fair.
You know I wanted to be there.
This mission was important.
What? No, of course, I'm not saying
our daughter's not important. What the
Hey, Paul's wife, Chad McKnight here.
I just want to say your husband
was a real hero today.
He did some crazy shit.
Why don't we cut the guy some slack,
let him have some fun, huh?
Maybe a couple of lap dances.
Handy at most.
Hello?
She hung up. Fuck, dude.
- Thanks a lot.
- She'll forgive you.
- Stop stressing, have a drink.
- I don't drink.
- Maybe that's your problem.
- Right.
Gotta loosen the fuck up.
Great! Now I'm drenched.
Me too.
[people cheering]
Sorry.
[door lock buzzes]
Heard you liked to live large, Koslov.
- I made sure to give you our best suite.
- Charming.
Do you happen to know the time?
Time no longer exists for you.
You'll never see the light of day again.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
[chuckles]
[dance music playing]
[all cheering]
I must be starting to trip balls
because I see Winters.
[Trunk] Nope, I see her too.
Well, well, well.
Looks like the lone wolf's
come to join the pack. Bud Heavy?
How the hell did you pull this together
on a few hours' notice?
My inexhaustible resourcefulness.
That and Uncle Sam's dime
buys you a lot of Vegas goodwill.
- [animal grunts]
- Have you met Joey?
- Oh, my God.
- I rented him from the Tiger King.
Not the one in jail.
I'm not an asshole. The new one.
He said not to spook him though,
these things run like the wind. Don't ya?
- You're a fucking idiot.
- [Chad] My teachers used to say that.
- Is Hagerty doing cocaine?
- Fuck, no. It's Adderall and ketamine.
With a horse tranq garnish
and a whipp-ed chaser.
Don't you guys get tested?
You know how easy it is to get clean piss?
This is America.
In that case,
keep clean pissing your career away.
Come on, Winters.
You didn't come here to be the fun police.
Hey, take a cue from Tech Chick.
Tech Chick came here to party, right?
Yeah. Party time.
Her name isn't Tech Chick.
Her name is Maya Lerner.
She's been on our team for six months.
Oh, I'm fine with Tech Chick.
Or anything you want to call me.
See? Tech Chick gets it! Love you!
Fuck him. G.I. Jerk-Off wouldn't know
his ass from a hole in the ground
on this mission if it weren't for us.
- Lerner, I need your help with something.
- Yes, ma'am.
I brought my laptop.
"Don't leave home without it."
Forget work.
I need you to help me polish this off.
You want to drink? With me?
- Come on. It's our turn to party.
- Okay.
- [dance music continues]
- [all cheering]
Fuck it!
You want to melt
those pretty minds of yours?
Psilocybe azurescens,
otherwise known
as flying saucer mushrooms.
Infused with military-grade
lysergic acid diethylamide.
Yeah, you won't be needing this tonight.
What the hell. It's a party, right?
A little pineapple, mixed with guacamole.
- Wow!
- [whooping triumphantly]
- Are you feeling it?
- Oh, I'm feeling it. You feeling it?
Oh, I'm definitely feeling it.
[howls]
[mechanical whirring]
Measuring U-235 isotope.
That's odd.
This can't be right. We need to take this
to the top. Where's Hagerty?
[music playing]
That is dope.
[cell phone vibrating]
Whoa! [laughs]
Yunga! What's going on, kid?
Ladies, I want you to meet my bestie
in the whole wide world.
This is Captain Paul Yung, USAF,
which stands for "U Silly As Fuck."
Get off your phone
and come join the party.
Hey. There's going to be
some water sports here.
You want to get in on this?
You know I'm married.
And that's why I'm asking you, Paul.
You need this so goddamn bad.
But suit yourself. Okay?
Now go try that guacamole over there.
It's the goddamn bomb.
[kisses]
[laughs boisterously]
You're a fucking genius.
You're the youngest recruit
the NSA's ever had.
Yeah. And I spend most of my time
in a dark van decrypting code.
And then I go out in the real world
and I'm clueless.
- We're all fucking clueless.
- [giggles]
But then, I look at you
and I see the ultimate badass.
- Stop!
- You're smart. You're sexy.
You don't shit from anyone.
You're a fucking boss.
How did you find that confidence?
At some point, I guess I realized
if you want things to be a certain way,
you can't depend on fate or luck.
Just gotta step up.
Make it happen yourself.
[Chad] Let's do this.
[cheering and whooping]
- Grease him up!
- Ah! All biceps, no brains.
I've got enough brains.
Oh! Part the sea!
Come on, we're fun.
- [Chad] Back it up!
- [growls]
Oh! That is good.
- [Chad] Ready, big boy?
- Yeah!
Get a couple drinks in him,
sooner or later, someone greases up Trunk.
No one's taken him down
inside of a minute.
[both grunts]
[grunts]
McKnight might be
the cockiest son of a bitch I've ever met,
that's why the ladies love him.
[crowd exclaims]
- What kinda ladies is McKnight into?
- He'll fuck anything with a pulse.
If we're talking end game,
Ali Larter from Varsity Blues.
That's his dream girl.
[Chad] All right, bring it up.
[cheering]
USA!
[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!
Hey. You do realize
you're both USA, right?
Winters, that was a feat
of Vin Diesel-ian proportions.
Okay? Do not act like you're unimpressed.
You embarrassed yourself for
a full minute, then got lucky.
[crowd booing]
[laughs]
- You can do it faster?
- That's not what I said.
But obviously, I can.
[all cheering]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
- He's all yours.
- Oh, thank you.
- [man] Let's see it.
- Hey.
- Can I borrow this?
- Of course.
- You're so pretty.
- Stop.
You sure you want to do this?
It'll get that nice dress all dirty.
Let me worry about the dry cleaning bill.
You focus on staying upright.
[all exclaiming]
Talk that shit, boss.
Yo, watch yourself, Trunk.
That's intelligence coming at you now.
What?
[grunts]
Holy shit, that's gotta be a new record!
[all cheering]
USA?
[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!
I'm good, yeah, I'm feelin' all right ♪
Baby, I'ma have
The best fuckin' night of my life ♪
And wherever it takes me
I'm down for the ride ♪
Baby, don't you know I'm good?
Yeah, I'm feelin' all right ♪
[on answering machine] Hey, it's Jen.
Don't leave a message.
- [beeps]
- Jen, I hope you get this message.
My calls are going to voicemail
after only a couple rings.
I just want to say,
I want you to have fun at prom.
Don't let your friends pressure you
into doing anything I wouldn't do.
Okay, sweetheart? [grunts]
Ali Larter, Varsity Blues.
[indistinct chatter]
Oh!
[women moaning, giggling]
[sighs, exhales]
[man groaning in pleasure]
Oh, shit.
Need some help
getting that grease off, big boy?
Back off. He's mine.
- Oh, what the
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, fuck!
- Oh, fuck!
- Shit. I'm sorry.
- Get the fuck out!
- I didn't see anything.
- Get the fuck out!
Shit.
You wanted to talk about this?
- Get the fuck out!
- Fine! I'm out. I'm out! I'm out!
Holy shit.
[cell phone ringing]
Hey. Thank God.
No, it's perfect timing. Believe me.
Let me just find some place quiet.
This doesn't add up.
We know that Koslov
had enough uranium to blow the city.
Now the lab is saying the bomb we seized
only has hints of it?
- Where's the rest?
- Sir!
We just got a message.
It's not good.
Gather the joint chiefs.
Situation room, five minutes.
Get in touch with Winters.
We need her now more than ever.
[Ava] Fuck waking up tomorrow!
Like they say en français
- [all cheering]
- [in English] Let's get fucked up tonight!
It's all good. S'all good. S'all good.
Because you know what?
I'm gonna call room service
and have 'em bring us up some more.
Don't go anywhere.
We gotta exchange numbers. Be right back.
[all whooping]
Great to hear your voice, too.
I miss you too.
[muffled music playing]
I'm sorry I left you alone again.
I know that's never easy.
[chuckling] I love you too.
I can't wait to see you, Mom.
Oh, shit.
You should have seen it.
We killed more Russians
than the Wolverines did in Red Dawn.
Obviously, the original.
I told you about Gomez's top-secret rifle,
that can blow a guy's head off from five
[clears throat]
You know what, Mom?
Let's catch up tomorrow. Me too. Bye.
[call disconnects]
Don't worry. She won't say anything.
Relax. I'm not gonna rat.
Never figured you for a mama's boy.
When your dad takes off when you're six,
it's kind of what happens.
- Not a bad view.
- For 60K a night? Fucking better be.
- You realize it's taxpayer money.
- Schematics.
Come on.
If not for us, all of this would be gone.
Even you have to admit it,
we deserve a little fun.
- Fun?
- Yeah.
Right.
All I can think about are these people
having fun without a care in the world.
- If they knew what we knew.
- They'd be shitting themselves.
[both laugh]
That's why they can never know.
It's fucked up when you think about it.
Gotta be a little fucked up
to do this, right?
Yeah. That's what we signed up for.
Somebody's got to answer the call.
Never letting our guard down.
Always on duty.
Not tonight.
No.
Not tonight.
This ain't a misdemeanor
Bitch, this is a felony, uh ♪
I read between the lines
Not buying what you're selling me ♪
- Are we
- Shut up.
- Fuck.
- I'll do it.
Headed straight to my floor seats ♪
I'm the gift that keeps on giving
You don't know what it cost me ♪
[both breathing heavily]
Oh, shit. Looks like you're going commando
in more ways than one.
- I like to let it breathe.
- Oh, fuck.
[both moaning]
[objects clattering]
Here.
[both moaning]
[both grunting softly]
Oh, shit. These are regular size.
I'm used to Magnum XL's.
I'm drunk. Not blind. Put it on.
[Ava moans in pleasure]
- [grunts]
- Okay.
Let's not forget who's in command.
[grunts softly]
[both grunting]
- You know I don't take orders well.
- Maybe I should be more forceful.
[both grunting]
[grunting and moaning]
[breathing heavily]
This is amazing.
You're so fucking amazing. I love you.
I loved you since the first moment
I saw you.
[awkwardly] Okay
- What's wrong?
- Nothing. Just keep going.
- Do you not feel
- Just keep going.
[both grunting]
- I can't.
- Me neither.
- Look, sorry if I
- Don't be sorry.
I thought that since the mission was over,
we'd never see each other again.
Now we definitely won't.
[door lock clicks]
Hey, cowboy. I think I've got a cure
for your Varsity Blues.
- What the fuck?
- Lerner!
- Tech Chick.
- What are you doing?
The two of you? What the hell?
- Just take it easy.
- Take it easy?
You've been saying he's nothing
but a meat bag with small dick energy.
You said what?
Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot.
- [Ava] Oh!
- Jesus Christ.
Oh, fuck. This was a big mistake.
You can say that again.
Says the guy who dropped the L word.
I meant I love that ass.
I'm an ass man. Everyone knows that.
And it's the ecstasy talking.
I said "I love you"
to so many people tonight.
I said it to the fucking camel.
- I'm out of here.
- Lerner, wait.
You know, I actually looked up to you,
but you're full of shit.
That's why you work undercover,
because you're so good at lying.
Bitch.
- [door closes]
- Wow.
Look at Tech Chick
letting it all hang out. A for effort.
- [cell phone chimes]
- Oh, where's my phone?
[exhaling] What is this?
[beeps]
[distorted male voice]
To those who have Ivan Koslov,
as you have probably now realized,
the bomb you deactivated was a fake.
We still have
the five kiloton nuclear device,
and we will detonate it
unless you release Mr. Koslov.
Any attempt to evacuate the city
will result in immediate detonation.
You have until 9:00 a.m.
If you do not comply,
the city will be obliterated.
[cell phone chimes]
- What's that? Some other booty call?
- Fuck!
[dance music playing]
Hey, hey. You seen McKnight?
He's in the master bedroom
with his dick hanging out. He's all yours.
What did he tell you?
The bomb was fake? We got the nuke, right?
I don't know.
If it's a hoax,
Langdon wouldn't passed it on.
- Shit. This is bad.
- Yeah.
You had to go and throw
this fucking party.
We thought the mission was over.
[Ava grunts]
- God.
- Jesus.
- Someone can't handle their liquor.
- Go fuck yourself.
We have a call with Langdon
in five minutes.
We need to clear this place out.
[people cheering]
It's a goddamn shame
we got to break this up.
[both moaning]
- Excuse me.
- Hey, where you going, baby girl?
Excuse me, everyone. There's been
an emergency, so we all have to
Party to the break of dawn!
[all cheering loudly]
No.
[music stops]
Party's over! Get the fuck out!
- You got to go.
- [Chad] All right, let's go.
[Ava] Go! You gotta go.
Yeah, right now. Go.
Hey, you gotta go!
- [woman] Sarah, what are you doing?
- What?
You're getting married.
Billy's gonna be pissed. Let's go!
But I wanna stay!
I'm good. Thank you. Get out of here.
Let's go. Keep moving. Keep moving.
I'm just as sad as you.
- All right. Thank you.
- Got you.
You had so much fun.
What the fuck, Winters? Pussy block much?
SOCOM received a bomb threat.
If we don't release Ivan Koslov,
Las Vegas will be destroyed
by a five kilo-bomb device.
- Kilo-bomb? That sounds bad.
- That's not what I meant.
"Kilo" means 1,000.
So they're saying 5,000 bombs?
- I call bullshit.
- Koslov's people have a nuke.
- This is why I don't drink.
- Oh! Good for you, Paul.
We should all be so fucking boring. Fuck.
[cell phone beeps]
Shit. Langdon wants to Zoom.
Fuck. Look at this place.
- The bedroom.
- Come on.
Smells like somebody
got their fuck on in here.
- Nobody got their fuck on in here.
- Somebody fornicated in here.
She couldn't have been that good.
Dude didn't finish.
Probably some limp-dick
with erectile dysfunction.
[cell phone ringing]
Oh, shit.
Much better.
Paul.
[blows air, clears throat]
Good. You're all there.
We've been analyzing the message.
It was sent from within Clark County.
No doubt from a Koslov associate.
What's the threat crebidility?
Credibility.
The lab report on the bomb you retrieved
showed only traces of isotopic uranium.
Just enough to be detected,
but not enough for an explosion.
Highly sophisticated copy.
That means someone working for Koslov
still has the mother lode.
The lab has been trying to get in touch
with your EOD. Is he there with you?
- Hagerty's here.
- Good.
We're gonna need his magic
if this turns out to be as bad as we
Wait. What is that?
[camel grunts]
Sorry, someone moved a camel. Statue.
Look, Winters, I know tonight
was supposed to be a celebration.
But as we all know, in our line of work,
we're always on call.
I assume your team celebrated responsibly,
and nobody took things too far.
No, sir, we all celerated
Celebrated responsibly.
I just want to know,
is your team ready to get back into this?
- [softly] Fuck. No.
- [Angela] Mmm.
Sir
Ready as a dog in heat, sir.
That's what I like to hear.
Ball's in your court.
You have a little over seven hours.
Find that nuke.
[chimes]
"Ready as a dog in heat?"
Our blood alcohol's through the roof.
You shitheads took drugs.
We gotta stand down.
We do that, who they gonna
replace us with? The fucking FBI?
Fucking FBI sucks.
If they could handle this shit,
they'd be handling it.
- I hate to admit. She has a point.
- [Chad] Even Paul agrees.
Now I don't care
how fucked up we are, Winters.
We're still the best in the game.
Now, let's fucking finish this.
- Okay. We're back on.
- [Angela] Let's do this shit.
What do we know?
Koslov sold a fake bomb. But why?
Because he's a lying commie
son of a bitch.
For the last time,
Koslov is not a communist.
He only cares about money, he Wait.
[in Russian] Our guests have arrived
and are ready to eat.
They are waiting for you.
I love you.
[in Russian]
Let them wait, it's only appetizers.
I'll be on time for the main course.
The fake was the appetizer.
Real nuke, the main course.
- What do you mean?
- Think about it.
Koslov could trick the crypto guys
into buying a fake
but only if he had a higher offer.
A second buyer?
It's like selling a bag of oregano
to a teenager
while saving the real deal
for someone more savvy.
- Oh!
- Saw an opportunity to get paid twice.
Okay, where's Lerner?
She needs to pull up the operation files.
- She took off about 20 minutes ago.
- Took off where?
[slurping]
I'm having a ball ♪
I'm running the show ♪
How I got stuck ♪
Where's my special cheeseburger?
I already told you.
We don't serve food here.
Then what the fuck you call this?
I want my special cheeseburger!
Medium rare, plus extra mayo.
I'm not supposed to say this,
but you've had a little too much to drink.
You've had a little too much to drink.
Just give her the goddamn burger. Okay?
Customer's always right.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
At least one person
in this whole city has my back.
Anytime, girl.
Let me guess, boy trouble?
My boss fucked my crush.
Damn.
I even put on the whipped cream
and everything.
You think that's bad?
My man was supposed to take me to go see
J.Lo at Resorts World. Ghosted me.
The real question is
what are we going to do about it?
What do you mean?
[scoffs] I mean we are two,
hot single women in Vegas.
One of us smells like
a goddamn ice cream sundae. [chuckles]
People ought to be lined up.
It's time we do things our way.
Hey, you want to take a ride with me?
- Huh?
- [cell phone ringing]
Fuck yeah. Ride or die.
[laughs heartily]
Let's do it! You got little titties too.
You can shake 'em.
- You've reached Maya Lerner
- Damn it.
Someone give me a laptop.
I'll access the files myself.
Yo, mira
- Your lab partner left her shit.
- [Ava] Ah!
- About what happened earlier
- Nothing happened.
[Ava] Once I access this database,
we'll be able to look at everything
and I'll be able to pare down Koslov
[retches]
- Oh shit!
- Oh! Fucking gross, Winters.
- The fuck did you eat?
- I don't think I ate.
There's chunks of food in there.
Is that quesadilla?
There was quesadillas?
No one told me there was quesadillas.
There were no quesadillas.
Uh Anybody have a mint?
I could go for some quesadillas.
Oh, shit, that may have been drugs.
Fuck the computer.
You want to get that bomb back?
Drag Koslov out of his cell
and beat it out of him.
Koslov is old-school. His father was KGB.
He's not gonna give it up easy.
He was prepared for this,
knew what would happen if we captured him,
he knows what happens next.
So we're all going to need to sober up
real fucking quick.
[beeping]
If the nuke is still out there,
and one of Koslov's men has it,
we're back to square one.
[man in Russian] The weapon is ready.
The countdown has begun.
Have you made contact?
I have the NSA op.
What's taking so long?
Get in here, girl! [giggles]
She doesn't suspect a thing.
[in Russian] Excellent.
Ooh! I hope there's champs in there,
because we getting fucked
- Up!
- Up!
[both laughing]
I already knew. Whoo!
All right, we all need to clear our minds,
forget anything that happened tonight,
and get back on our A-game. ASAP.
Everyone.
- [Hagerty] Ladies and gentlemen.
- Oh, God.
- Shit!
- Fuck, Hagerty.
Nope.
- Hagerty has left the building.
- Uh, no.
- [all exclaim]
- [Trunk] Shit!
- Hagerty?
- Oh, my God.
- Let's go! We got commies to interrogate!
- Let's go! Come on.
- [Chad] Oh, shit!
- [Trunk] Fuck.
[Chad] Go!
Everyone strap in!
- Are you sure you're okay to fly?
- Yep, I've got nothing in my system.
Other than an entire bowl
of chips and guac.
Thank God one of us is sober.
["Your Touch" by The Black Keys playing]
Hey, and I want ♪
And you got ♪
So much ♪
Crazy for ♪
Your touch ♪
Your touch ♪
Your touch ♪
Your touch ♪
And I'll be good ♪
Like I should ♪
Waiting and such ♪
Misery I need ♪
Your touch ♪
Your touch ♪
Your touch ♪
Your touch ♪
[song ends]