Over The Garden Wall (2014) s01e01 Episode Script
The Old Grist Mill
Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history lies a place that few have seen, a mysterious place called The Unknown, where long-forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.
Antelope, Guggenheim, Albert, Salami, Giggly, Jumpy, Tom, Thomas, Tambourine, Leg Face McCullen, Artichoke, Penguin, Pete, Steve, but I think the very worst name for this frog is Wait.
Wait a second.
Uh, Greg.
Where are we? In the woods.
I mean, what are we doing out here? We're walking home.
Greg, I think we're lost.
We sh we should have left a trail or something.
I can leave a trail of candy from my pants.
No.
Though I am lost, my wounded heart resides back home in pieces, strewn about the graveyard of my lost love, for only Ohh! Do you hear that? Yeah.
Do you think it's some kind of deranged lunatic with an ax, waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims? Greg.
Greg! Greg, you're gonna get us into trouble again.
We should ask him for help.
No, we should not ask him for help.
- But - Shh! - You shush.
- You shush.
- Shh.
- Mmmoooh.
Shoot.
You think we should have asked him for help? Maybe I can help you.
I mean, you guys are lost, right? Ohh! What in the world is going on? Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and No, Greg.
A bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.
Hey, what was that? I mean, I'm just saying you're you're weird like, not normal.
I-I mean oh, my gosh.
Stop talking to it, Wirt.
- "Lt"? - Uh uh What are you doing here?! Explain yourselves! And I'll see you guys later.
Bye.
Calm calm down, mister.
Wh-whatever you do here is your business.
We just want to get home with all of our legs and arms attached.
These woods are no place for children.
Don't you know the beast is afoot here? The beast? W-w-w-we don't know anything about that.
W-we're just two lost kids trying to get home.
Well, welcome to The Unknown, boys.
You're more lost than you realize.
I found this homestead abandoned and repurposed its mill for m-m-my needs.
You and your brother should be safe here while I work.
Candy trail, candy trail, candy trail.
What what is your work, exactly? Everyone has a torch to burn, and this here's mine.
I grind the horrid edelwood trees into oil to keep this lantern lit.
This is my lot in life.
This is my burden.
This guy sounds loony.
Maybe we should make a break for it if we can, but he must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock him out first, except that may turn out really badly, huh? Yeah, bad bad plan.
- Forget it.
Bad plan.
- OK.
What are you boys whispering about? We're talking about running away out of here.
- Shh! Shh! - Shh! Shh! Leave if you wish, But remember, the beast haunts these woods, ever singing his mournful melody in search of lost souls such as yourselves! To help us? No, not to help you.
I have work to do in the mill.
When I am finished, I will do what I can to guide you if you are still here when I return.
Huh.
I guess we could just leave, but I don't know.
- Greg.
- What? Do you think there really is a beast out there, or is is that guy just messing with us? Uh-huh.
I mean, he could have done away with us by now if that was his plan, and he lit that fire.
- That's pretty nice.
- Yeah! I guess it's possible there's a beast since there was a talking bird, but Yeah! I don't know.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm just like a boat upon a winding river, twisting towards an endless black sea Further and further, drifting away from where I want to be, who I want to be.
Oh.
I didn't know that.
Did you know that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it turns into a grape? It's a rock fact! Ugh.
You're not helping at all.
Why don't you go play with your frog or something? Aw, beans! Where is that frog o' mine? Hold on there, second brother o' mine.
I'll be back soon for your plan.
Kitty! Kitty! Now where did that frog named Kitty go? Whoop! I tripped on my own candy trail! Huh? That frog's giving me the runaround.
Kitty! Gross.
Kitty? Hmm.
Is that whoop! Oh, there you are! Wirt? Kitty? You have beautiful eyes.
Yecch.
Greg? Uh What's happening?! Where's your brother?! Uh-uh-uh.
Holy moly.
Hot dog! It's the beast! Stay back, boys! This creature which is known as huh? Ohh.
Greg, why did you do that?! That was your plan, remember? - Knock him out! - No! Bad plan! I told you to forget that plan! Aah! Spank! Spank! Spank! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run! Candy camouflage! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
- Greg! - This is amazing, huh?! Am I supposed to throw something? Oh, yeah! Ha ha! He's eating your candy.
I wonder if he ate my whole candy trail that led to this mill.
Ugh! Greg, you led the beast right to us with your candy! Hey, give me the ax.
You're too little to have it anyway.
Aah! We got to we got to get out of here! Aah! Uh, Greg, give him the rest of your candy! Oops.
- Hey, Wirt, look! - Greg? Wirt, he spit up that turtle, and now he's my new best friend! Ohh! Ohh.
Hey.
Where are you going? Ain't that just the way? The mill is destroyed.
The oil all gone! But but but look.
We we got the beast problem solved.
That dog?! That is not the beast! The beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet! He stalks like the night.
He sings like the four winds.
He is the death of hope.
He steals their children, and he'll ruin You're always messing up, Greg.
Boy, you have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you and your brother's actions! I'm I'm I'm sorry.
Maybe I can fix it? I-I can't fix it.
You must go.
Take your brother north.
Look for a town.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Come on, Greg.
One last thing beware The Unknown! Fear the beast and leave these woods if you can.
It is your burden to bear! Right.
Yeah.
Got it.
And, little one, you look after that frog.
Give him a proper name.
OK.
Wirt, I think I thought of a new name for our frog.
I'm gonna call him Wirt.
That's gonna be really confusing.
No.
I'm gonna call you Kitty.
What? Maybe I'll start calling you Candy Pants.
Whoa! Yeah! Good one, Wirt.
- Thanks.
- I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Wirt.
Antelope, Guggenheim, Albert, Salami, Giggly, Jumpy, Tom, Thomas, Tambourine, Leg Face McCullen, Artichoke, Penguin, Pete, Steve, but I think the very worst name for this frog is Wait.
Wait a second.
Uh, Greg.
Where are we? In the woods.
I mean, what are we doing out here? We're walking home.
Greg, I think we're lost.
We sh we should have left a trail or something.
I can leave a trail of candy from my pants.
No.
Though I am lost, my wounded heart resides back home in pieces, strewn about the graveyard of my lost love, for only Ohh! Do you hear that? Yeah.
Do you think it's some kind of deranged lunatic with an ax, waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims? Greg.
Greg! Greg, you're gonna get us into trouble again.
We should ask him for help.
No, we should not ask him for help.
- But - Shh! - You shush.
- You shush.
- Shh.
- Mmmoooh.
Shoot.
You think we should have asked him for help? Maybe I can help you.
I mean, you guys are lost, right? Ohh! What in the world is going on? Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and No, Greg.
A bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.
Hey, what was that? I mean, I'm just saying you're you're weird like, not normal.
I-I mean oh, my gosh.
Stop talking to it, Wirt.
- "Lt"? - Uh uh What are you doing here?! Explain yourselves! And I'll see you guys later.
Bye.
Calm calm down, mister.
Wh-whatever you do here is your business.
We just want to get home with all of our legs and arms attached.
These woods are no place for children.
Don't you know the beast is afoot here? The beast? W-w-w-we don't know anything about that.
W-we're just two lost kids trying to get home.
Well, welcome to The Unknown, boys.
You're more lost than you realize.
I found this homestead abandoned and repurposed its mill for m-m-my needs.
You and your brother should be safe here while I work.
Candy trail, candy trail, candy trail.
What what is your work, exactly? Everyone has a torch to burn, and this here's mine.
I grind the horrid edelwood trees into oil to keep this lantern lit.
This is my lot in life.
This is my burden.
This guy sounds loony.
Maybe we should make a break for it if we can, but he must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock him out first, except that may turn out really badly, huh? Yeah, bad bad plan.
- Forget it.
Bad plan.
- OK.
What are you boys whispering about? We're talking about running away out of here.
- Shh! Shh! - Shh! Shh! Leave if you wish, But remember, the beast haunts these woods, ever singing his mournful melody in search of lost souls such as yourselves! To help us? No, not to help you.
I have work to do in the mill.
When I am finished, I will do what I can to guide you if you are still here when I return.
Huh.
I guess we could just leave, but I don't know.
- Greg.
- What? Do you think there really is a beast out there, or is is that guy just messing with us? Uh-huh.
I mean, he could have done away with us by now if that was his plan, and he lit that fire.
- That's pretty nice.
- Yeah! I guess it's possible there's a beast since there was a talking bird, but Yeah! I don't know.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm just like a boat upon a winding river, twisting towards an endless black sea Further and further, drifting away from where I want to be, who I want to be.
Oh.
I didn't know that.
Did you know that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it turns into a grape? It's a rock fact! Ugh.
You're not helping at all.
Why don't you go play with your frog or something? Aw, beans! Where is that frog o' mine? Hold on there, second brother o' mine.
I'll be back soon for your plan.
Kitty! Kitty! Now where did that frog named Kitty go? Whoop! I tripped on my own candy trail! Huh? That frog's giving me the runaround.
Kitty! Gross.
Kitty? Hmm.
Is that whoop! Oh, there you are! Wirt? Kitty? You have beautiful eyes.
Yecch.
Greg? Uh What's happening?! Where's your brother?! Uh-uh-uh.
Holy moly.
Hot dog! It's the beast! Stay back, boys! This creature which is known as huh? Ohh.
Greg, why did you do that?! That was your plan, remember? - Knock him out! - No! Bad plan! I told you to forget that plan! Aah! Spank! Spank! Spank! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run! Candy camouflage! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
- Greg! - This is amazing, huh?! Am I supposed to throw something? Oh, yeah! Ha ha! He's eating your candy.
I wonder if he ate my whole candy trail that led to this mill.
Ugh! Greg, you led the beast right to us with your candy! Hey, give me the ax.
You're too little to have it anyway.
Aah! We got to we got to get out of here! Aah! Uh, Greg, give him the rest of your candy! Oops.
- Hey, Wirt, look! - Greg? Wirt, he spit up that turtle, and now he's my new best friend! Ohh! Ohh.
Hey.
Where are you going? Ain't that just the way? The mill is destroyed.
The oil all gone! But but but look.
We we got the beast problem solved.
That dog?! That is not the beast! The beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet! He stalks like the night.
He sings like the four winds.
He is the death of hope.
He steals their children, and he'll ruin You're always messing up, Greg.
Boy, you have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you and your brother's actions! I'm I'm I'm sorry.
Maybe I can fix it? I-I can't fix it.
You must go.
Take your brother north.
Look for a town.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Come on, Greg.
One last thing beware The Unknown! Fear the beast and leave these woods if you can.
It is your burden to bear! Right.
Yeah.
Got it.
And, little one, you look after that frog.
Give him a proper name.
OK.
Wirt, I think I thought of a new name for our frog.
I'm gonna call him Wirt.
That's gonna be really confusing.
No.
I'm gonna call you Kitty.
What? Maybe I'll start calling you Candy Pants.
Whoa! Yeah! Good one, Wirt.
- Thanks.
- I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Wirt.