Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e01 Episode Script

Guys, I know this mission was real tough but times like this make it all worth it.
Mission accomp What? Okay, here we go.
And that's the s that's not a sword.
Mission a Come on! Why?! The sword was in a couch, not a stone.
Open your mind, boy.
Yeah! Hey, no one does a sword pull and a dragon barrel roll on my watch.
Boone, wheel me.
Flaming arrows.
I'm just gonna borrow this.
Air ball! Just gonna surf on a shield a little bit.
There we go.
Coming through.
Sorry about your face.
Ooh, lava.
Stop the landing and put the magic sword back.
Triple fist bump.
- I miss my face hair.
- It's called a beard.
Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day.
Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie, score a goal I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero Penn Zero Merry Christmas Eve, Sashi.
There's something in this reindeer's eyes I didn't trust.
- So I cut 'em out.
- Uhh? Neat.
- Hi! - What's up? Mom, Dad, Merry Christmas.
We're knee deep in a bloodbath of chaos and fury so we can't come to the MUHU right now.
But if you leave a message after the scream, we'll get right back to you.
That was the scream.
Hey, guys, just thinking about you on Christmas Eve.
Not a big deal, just another day that brings families together Ahem! except ours for the first time ever 'cause you're trapped in the most dangerous world imaginable, which is worse for you than it is for me.
Probably.
It's not a contest.
I just I just wanted to say No.
Oh, no.
No, no! No, no, no! Arghh! Uncle Chuck, Aunt Rose, how's Ta-da! All the wonders of Christmas, lovingly sculpted in three pounds of scrambled pigeon eggs.
- Ohh.
- What's wrong, Penn? - Aren't you egg-cited? - Egg-cited? I know I am.
But I'd be bummed if this were my first Christmas without my parents, who were trapped in a lost dimension Oh, gosh! That's Penn's exact situation! Egg ball fight! You got the Christmas blues? Well, Professor Boone got the antidote.
Okay.
Just hurry, because your hands smell like egg.
Who needs parents when you have skateboard sleds! Most people.
Nice! - Hmm.
Hm-hm-hm.
- What about me? For you, I built a roller-skate ski.
But the design proved flawed in testing.
You see, it all started at the old testing hill.
I initiated take-off procedure.
All was going well until a slight malfunction.
There was a fireball and some unfortunate placement of radioactive waste.
And then the puppy monsters destroyed the city! - You forgot to make her one, didn't you? - Affirmative.
All right, I see what you guys are trying to do, but you don't have to worry about me.
I'm just going to kind of avoid Christmas this year.
Consider Christmas erased with extreme prejudice.
Old man, lose the Santa beard.
All right then.
Ohh.
Phyllis? I need a favor.
You cannot find date to prom? Don't worry.
I will try to find dress.
No! No.
No.
Sorry for yelling.
That is literally my nightmare.
Actually, something's up with my MUHU.
I'm just wondering if maybe you could tinker with it so I could, I don't know, talk to my parents on Christmas.
MUHU is very delicate and mysterious device.
Only very skilled hand may fix.
- I tried.
- Hmm.
You are missing parents at Christmas? - Well Me? No.
- He totally is, Phyllis.
You sure you don't want in on these pocket eggs? You know, let's just get to work, right? At least wherever you zap me, I won't have to think about Christmas.
Uh, oh, boy.
Huh? Wha? Huh?! Nooooo ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Okay.
I want a magnet that attracts cool t-shirts instead of metal.
Also, I want a dog that knows how to fly a jet pack.
Also, I need a dog jet pack.
Are you getting any of this? - Ugh.
Of all the places.
- Penn, you okay? I'll be fine, Sash.
Can we drop it? Ooh, I'm sorry.
- Careful, San - What's that? Okay.
Let's just get this over with.
Sash, check the specs.
All right.
You're filling in for Santa, the elves have gone missing, and there's a major blizzard coming at midnight.
If you don't get the sleigh launched before then Christmas will be canceled.
Christmas canceled?! Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Breathe into the Santa hat, Boone.
Breathe.
There you go, nice and easy.
Okay, I'm gonna pet you now, but not in a weird way.
Watch your backs.
We don't know what we're going to find in here.
Ohhh, tannenbaum! This wasn't some turtledoves blowing off steam.
We are dealing with pros.
Mama.
Mama.
Peppermint.
Hello.
Dumpy? Gassy? Floppy? Snazzy? Those are dwarves, not elves.
Well, they're still small and adorable.
- Don't open that box.
- I'm opening that box.
Don't open that box! I'm opening the box, Boone.
Everyone stop screaming! Sorry.
Oh, please! Don't melt me! - No one's gonna melt you.
- As long as you talk.
I'll tell you everything.
They came in the night, the menace of the North Pole, the sugary shadows, the rogue gingerbread army.
That sounds delicious.
Whoa.
They're packing some heavy artillery.
I want frosting snipers on the roof.
Make sure you have plenty of sprinkles.
Larry, stop that.
People are staring.
I can't help it, I have so many flavors.
Mmm.
Mmm! I'm delicious.
Well, then just quietly eat your arm, okay? Yes, sir! Okay.
We smash through the front door, candy canes a-blazing, and smoke those cookies! Or, I know a secret back entrance.
We rescue the elves and take the gingers by surprise.
Wrong.
Villains always have the back entrance covered.
Maybe for Christmas I'll get you a dictionary, so you can look up what "secret" means.
Maybe I'll get you a waffle iron and stick you in it! - Guys, I uh ohhh - Don't worry.
The elves are the greatest tinkerers in the world.
If we save them first, I am sure they'll have time to fix whatever that thing is.
You know, I think the snowman's plan makes more sense.
We do this right, we fix the MUHU and save Christmas.
Doesn't feel so good, does it? Candy weapons loaded? Check.
Back entrance secured? Check.
Penn Zero and his team sneaking in to defeat me? Check.
Wait.
What did I say? Get them! Run! Take cover, you guys, it's a candy barrage! Wait, wait.
Where's my MUHU? Wait, is that it rolling down there? That's it.
Wait.
What? Wait.
You? Were you looking for this? I see you've met my associate Mr.
Snowman.
It's not just my eyes that are made out of coal.
Uhh! Bad idea.
Leave coal heart in chest.
No cookies and milk this year, Santa.
Christmas is canceled.
I'm a terrible part-time hero.
I trusted a snowman's head over you guys 'cause I wanted to get the MUHU fixed.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Yeah, there's nothing more depressing than a sad Santa.
Except for, like, maybe an Easter bunny who's lost his hop.
Or a tooth fairy with a cavity or a dead leprechaun.
We get it! We know it's been hard, but you got to remember, your parents aren't the only ones who care about you.
Thanks, guys.
I feel a lot better, except for the part about ruining Christmas for all eternity.
That's gonna bother me for a while.
We've got 10 minutes before the blizzard.
We can still get that sleigh in the air.
What do we do about the cage? Penn, if there's one thing I've learned anything from watching Christmas specials, it's that you can do anything if you have enough Christmas spirit, because We may be stuck here in a Christmas cage And gingerbread Rippen's got us trapped backstage But there's Christmas magic in the air And I have the yule-iest yuletide song to share It's working, Boone! Keep singing.
Oh, we're breaking out of here for Christmas This cage has got no sugarplums that dance It doesn't have wi-fi, or even have a toilet It's kind of weird that I'm not wearing pants Yes, we're breaking out of here for Christmas I won't get trapped by cages, bars and walls When I get out, I'll make the bad guys pay I'll fight them, punch them, kick them in the knees You can bet we're breaking out for Christmas It would be easier if I were in better shape, ho ho So kids you'd better nestle up snug in your beds 'Cause Christmas Will be saved When we escape Hmm.
I thought that would've turned out better.
Gingerbread men and woman I stand before you on the edge of victory.
And we celebrate with this lavish feast provided by the good people at Yucky Yeti Caterers, the evilest caterers in the entire Northern hemisphere.
Now that's pretty evil.
We get out of here, I will literally wipe the smiles off their faces.
Wait, just wait.
One minute.
Okay, when I was little, my parents told me that Santa could slide through any chimney, no matter how small.
Hello? I'm Santa.
All we need to do is make a chimney and I can slide right through it, baby.
And ahh Ha! There's our chimney.
Huh.
Santa away! It's not working.
You've looked cooler.
Maybe it only works if you go full Santa.
You know, like putting a toy under a tree from your sack.
It's like my drama teacher says, commit or quit.
Well, ho-ho-ho, through the chimney I go! That hurt so much.
I still can't believe we pulled it off despite Larry, the most loyal, but it has to be said, least evil minion ever.
Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Oooh! My toes are caramel! Don't tell mom, but I'm about to ruin my dinner! Fire fruitcakes at will! Oh ohhhh!!! The elves! Whoa.
Watch out, guys.
There's enough frosting in here to blast you all the way back to Valentine's Day.
How are you going to pull that trigger? - You ate all your fingers.
- Guilty as charged.
They were all different flavors, caramel, chocolate, hazel Oohh! Man, that guy can talk.
Thanks, Santa! We were trapped in there for hours Ooh?! No more speeches.
Sashi, you and those little elves go get the reindeer.
Boone and I, we got the sleigh.
Snowing somewhere? Santa power! Snailed it.
You got to get us to that launch platform.
Reindeer up! And reindeer back down.
I'm just gonna run the rest of the way.
Or maybe fast walk.
Christmas, you are saved! You forgot your cookie.
All aboard.
Not my bowl full of jelly! How about a little bling? Yeah! - Taste my sparkles.
- Ow ow! Ow ow ow ow! My face hair! Ha! Uh-oh.
If I drop this, it will shatter on the ice and you'll never speak to your parents again.
Forget Christmas.
Turn the sleigh around, and I'll give you back your precious MUHU.
No deal.
The world needs Christmas.
Whoa-ho-ho! You and me are never gonna be this delicious again.
It's almost midnight.
Hit it! Heeyah! Oh, yes! You did it! You saved Christmas.
Way to go, PZ.
Sometimes hero must make hard choice.
That is what makes them hero.
Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.
Hey, pal! Glad you finally got through.
- I'll deck your halls! - Merry Christmas, sweetheart! - Jingle bell rock! - Conifer kick! Ho-ho-ho! Ew! When did I eat gingerbread?