Perry Mason (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

["Jingle Bells"
instrumental music playing]
[sad music playing]
[thunder rumbling]
[man] Now, you two have
done good so far.
So, keep calm,
keep breathing right.
It's almost over.
- What are they saying now?
- [Matthew] Shut up.
You shouldn't talk to your wife
that way. She's been through a lot.
- [Matthew] Listen here!
- No, you listen.
You listen and do exactly
what the fuck I tell you to do
or this ends real bad.
Do you see that desk
behind you?
Put your fancy fucking suitcase
on that desk.
- Not until I see my son.
- [crying]
All right.
They're loading up a car
up above,
your kid's in that car.
Put the case on the desk
and open it up.
- Oh, oh, oh, okay. Hold on.
- [phone clatters]
[case unlocks]
[Matthew] I'm here.
We're gonna give you a look.
You see the kid,
you run down the street.
Get the kid off the car,
don't look back,
and never say a word about it.
[Matthew] He's on the car.
Charlie's on the car.
Do we understand each other?
- Yes, yes.
- [Emily] Please. Please don't hurt him.
Here it comes.
[engine roaring]
[people talking]
[Emily] Charlie!
- [dramatic music playing]
- [phone dings]
[man] Let's go, let's go!
- [bell dinging]
- [crashes]
[engine revving]
- [Emily] Excuse me.
- [Matthew] Move, move.
Excuse me.
[whimpering]
[crying] Oh, Charlie boy. Charlie boy.
[Matthew] Jesus.
[Emily] Oh, you're such a brave boy.
You're not crying.
[crying]
[kissing]
[Emily] Matthew. Matthew.
[Matthew] Yes.
[Emily] What's wrong?
What's wrong with him?
What's wrong with him?
[gasps]
- Charlie!
- [yelling]
Jesus Christ!
[Matthew] Help! Help!
[Matthew] Jesus!
- [crying]
- [Matthew] Help!
[thunder rumbling]
['30s music playing]
[Strickland] Okay, Mason,
here's one for you.
Are you being cheated
out of life's thrills?
Probably.
Love, romance, excitement?
Never heard of them.
Mayhaps you should read Lipstick Girl
by Edna Robb Webster.
- Never heard of her.
- [man burps]
[Strickland] Hey, what do you know?
It begins today.
Forty cents, for two coffees and toast?
How many gallons
do you throw in the truck?
- Six.
- Six gallons?
[Mason] Three days of meals,
another two days of gas.
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
Chapter one.
"The Pappe & Son
Department Store,
the largest mercantile
establishment in Mitchelfield
- was arousing itself noise"
- S.S. Chubby's setting sail.
- Hey. Come on.
- Say goodbye to Edna.
Get out in front of him,
I'll follow from behind.
- Lot of behind to follow.
- Go.
[door chimes]
[door chimes]
- [Mason] You're kidding me.
- [audience laughing]
[Strickland] We get to go to the movies.
[audience laughing]
Hey!
Cut it out now.
[Strickland] Fucking horse
kicking him in the ass,
how do you not
find that hilarious?
I grew up on a farm.
[engine rattling]
Steering's all loose.
- What'd you do to it?
- I didn't do anything.
You know, maybe Chubby's
keeping it clean 'cause he's seen
this milk truck
following him around town.
If you don't have a car, don't complain.
[Strickland] Not my fault,
Ruthie broke the axle.
[Mason] Another complaint.
Just 'cause the guy
has a high-pitched voice,
that's no reason
to rob a guy of his livelihood.
He brought a lot of joy
to a lot of people.
Well, he's not bringing me any.
Three days waiting for him
to stick his dick in something.
Studio signs him to a contract,
they should honor it.
Who cares what he does
with his pants off?
Walt LeBaron cares, that's who.
He's the one
who's paying you.
Morals clause, shmorals clause.
Whole town needs a shot in the dick.
Hey, heading right.
[engine stops]
[Strickland] Hey.
[Velma] Hi, Chubby.
- [Chubby] Well, hello, Red.
- [Velma chuckles]
[Strickland] Oh, wow.
Here we go.
Hey, how about I have a look?
You stay in the truck?
- Sure.
- [car door opens]
[car door closes]
You know, that's your problem.
You get no pleasure out of life.
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
[Velma laughing]
[suspenseful music playing]
[rattling]
[Velma laughing]
[Velma moaning softly]
[door creaks and closes]
[Velma moaning softly]
- [Velma chuckling]
- [Chubby talking softly]
[glass shatters]
[Chubby laughing]
[kissing]
[camera shutter clicks]
[both moaning]
- [Chubby grunts loudly]
- [Velma screams in excitement]
[Velma laughing] Oh, God. Oh, God.
[camera shutter clicks]
[Mason] Pete, start the truck!
- Pete, start the car!
- [Velma screaming]
- [engine turns over]
- [Chubby] Son of a bitch!
[Chubby] I'll get you, you prick!
You sons of bitches!
I'm going to kill you,
you cocksuckers.
[Chubby] Oh, yeah!
[Strickland chuckling] Chubby,
you glorious bastard!
He threw a shoe at me.
I'm your biggest fan!
[pleasant music playing]
[Mason] Evening, Rigoberto.
Can you open the gate?
- [airplane engine roars]
- I can if you say it.
[engine running]
Something about a clown.
[airplane engine roaring]
[speaking Spanish]
Does it have to be in Spanish?
This whole place
used to be Spanish.
[gate creaking open]
[gate creaking closed]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
[creaks]
- [sighs]
- [shuts]
[sighs]
- [cow moos]
- [man speaking Spanish]
[Mason] Shit.
[Mason] What are you doing?
Trying to get yourself killed?
You want some breakfast?
[men speaking Spanish]
[scoffs]
[Mason clicking tongue]
[mooing]
Here, get up, get up.
Good girl. Good girl. Good girl.
[Mason] Eat your hay.
Stay off the runway.
[moos]
Come on.
[moos]
Now, stay.
Not you.
They don't want me
around either.
[flies buzzing]
- [men talking]
- [banging]
[snoring]
I'd have said it was over
when the talkies came.
But clearly,
the man still has a lot
to offer the world.
[Mason] How did you get in here?
"The clown carries you."
He just he just gave you
the password?
Well, I'm a very persuasive lawyer.
- You forget that sometimes.
- Yup. [grunts]
I try and forget a lot of things.
At some point, you got to admit
this isn't working out.
What do you mean?
Let me speak for the dead
and say your parents
didn't want this for you.
[urinating] The farm's still here.
You got pans on their bed.
- What do you want, E.B.?
- [flushes]
[E.B. Jonathan] Herman Baggerly
called me last night.
I called you, you don't answer.
Who's Herman Baggerly?
Major player, boyo.
Lumber, real estate,
one of the fattest
bank accounts in the city.
What's he doing with you, then?
I've helped him in the past.
Certain business matters,
which require discretion
and finesse.
[Mason] Yeah, 20 bucks a billable hour?
Well, a man has to eat.
And I'd say
we both understand that.
And you need me why, E.B.?
Because some friend of his
is in trouble,
the police are involved
and you're good at your job.
3:00 p.m. at my office.
I don't know,
I got a lot going on today.
The Chubby thing,
and I'm due in court.
I'm getting paid to serve
as a material witness.
That Frank Dillon case.
Deep pockets on Baggerly.
- Opportunity for both of us.
- Yeah? Is he looking to buy
a two-cow dairy
in the middle of an airport?
You're really thinking to sell?
[sighs] I haven't seen you in
three months, E.B.
Well, it's been quiet
out there, boyo.
I don't deny it.
But this is a live one.
3:00 p.m., wear your good suit.
This is my good suit.
And there's egg on your tie.
[LeBaron chuckling]
[LeBaron] Oh, boy.
Yeah, that's him all right.
No question
of moral relativity here.
I mean, that's
that's food.
- Pumpkin pie, I'm pretty sure.
- I blame his agent.
I mean, I got nothing
against the guy myself,
you understand, but
I'm not here to judge anyone,
Mr. LeBaron.
I just wanna get paid.
Ah! I will have someone
cut you a check.
- [phone dials]
- Business affairs, please, Mitch.
What did we say, 200? [clicks fingers]
We did say that.
Of course, that was for pictures
of Chubby Carmichael but,
these happen to be pictures
of, Velma Fuller,
or should I call her "Red"?
[man] Business affairs.
Hello? Hello
[LeBaron] Okay.
How much did you have in mind?
Five hundred seems fair.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Fine, make it six,
- that's serious
- You got some fucking nerve.
Nerve and these nasty, nasty pictures
of your up-and-coming starlet.
Okay.
[sighs] I'm gonna have to walk this up
to Mr. Hammersmith.
Be sure to send him my regards.
Mason
you've got an egg stain
on your tie.
[sighs] Yeah, turns out it's mustard.
- [Virgil] How was your Christmas?
- Yeah, it came and went.
My wife's folks came by
on the day.
Her mom brought a fruitcake,
could have been used by the pharaohs.
Kids cried
when I made them eat it.
You got a kid, right?
Yeah, lives with his mom.
Well, you spent Christmas
with him, right?
- No.
- Well, how come?
Are you, lonely or something, Virgil?
[Mason] He went out happy.
Well, if happy's drowning
in panties and a matching bra,
yeah, why not?
He was wearing man clothes
on the outside.
What's with that?
Oh, my next patient.
Kidnapping gone way wrong.
Worst thing you ever seen.
What do you know
what I've seen?
[dragging]
How's this?
I like it better than the suit.
I got a domestic stabbing
with a three piece, if you want.
[Bostwick] Mr. Mason, in what capacity
were you hired by the defense?
I was hired
as a private investigator.
And is that,
these private investigations,
the current means
by which you earn a living?
- You know it is, Fenton.
- [clears throat]
Pardon me.
Yes, Mr. Bostwick.
[Bostwick] Now, am I correct
in asserting
were recently cited for assault?
- Mr. Mason.
- I'm sorry. What?
A complaint for assault.
This is irrelevant, Your Honor.
I'm sure that you resent this line
No, what I resent is Alvin Rutherford
showing up repeatedly
and offering me pennies
on the dollar for a home
my father built
with his own hands.
Tragic, Mr. Mason, but assault?
I threw a cow pie at him.
[chuckling]
That's funny.
However, far less amusing
is the dishonorable end
to your military career.
That has nothing to do
with this trial.
A blue discharge
for conduct unbecoming.
Would you care to elaborate
on that, Mr. Mason?
- Was that a mistake?
- Feel free to jump in, Frank.
Objection.
- Question of relevance.
- You're goddamn right.
[Judge Ross] Sustained.
- Watch the God talk, sir.
- Sorry.
[Bostwick] Nothing further, Your Honor.
[Mason] E.B. send you 'cause he thought
I forgot the way to the office?
[Della] The meeting's changed.
We're going to Pasadena now.
We are?
Fine, we can take my truck.
We could if the plan was to make
the world's worst impression.
Oh, I don't have to plan for that.
That happens naturally.
I'll say, you were just four
words from contempt of court.
Go fuck yourself.
I could have got that in.
Thus demonstrating
your masterful knowledge
- of legal decorum.
- Frank Dillon is sitting there
like a monument to the useless
and the judge is concerned
with my decorum?
Why didn't he hold him in contempt?
Because I sure as hell did.
Letting him dig into me
like that.
A fucking peanut vendor
would have known to object.
- So many windmills, so little time.
- [scoffs]
How are you today, Miss Street?
Peachy.
How are you, Mr. Mason?
[Baggerly] I wasn't expecting
a congregation.
I rely on Miss Street
to keep the facts straight,
Herman.
Do you intend
to take notes, miss?
That's generally what I do.
Unless you object.
And you're a detective,
Mr. Mason?
It's a fancy word
for a busybody, but yes.
We've been working together
since when was it?
Just after the war.
Gave him his first job back
from France,
- isn't that right, Perry?
- [Baggerly] You served overseas?
With lots of other farm boys.
Mr. Mason was in the army,
survived the Battle of the Argonne.
How can we help you, Mr. Baggerly?
It's not me that needs help, Mr. Mason.
Matthew and Emily Dodson,
an unspeakable act
was visited upon them,
they're quite overwhelmed.
[E.B. Jonathan] Consider us
at their service.
Friends of yours?
Members of my church.
Working people without many resources.
[E.B. Jonathan] Well, God has put you
in their path.
Is this a
[Baggerly] Radiant Assembly of God.
Right. On the radio.
Sister Alice.
A woman of wonder-working power.
I won't hesitate to say
that she changed my life.
Do the Dodsons know
you contacted me, Herman?
They're anxiously
awaiting your guidance, Elias.
What about the police?
How's that?
Well, they'll be
on this hammer and tongs.
Why not leave it to them?
[Baggerly sighs]
I'll be frank, Mr. Mason.
I don't trust the Los Angeles
Police Department
to do the job that's needed.
Neither would I.
- [people shouting]
- [police siren]
[Holcomb] So you found this upstairs?
[Matthew] I told you, my wife did.
- I was at work.
- And she called you?
Yeah. Hysterical.
Why'd neither one of you
call the police?
Read the note.
You can read, can't you?
So your wife finds the note,
calls you, what she do next?
[Matthew] How should I know? Ask her.
[Ennis] We'll get to her in a minute.
[Holcomb] You own a grocery store,
much money in that?
What?
Nice house for a grocer.
It can't be cheap to maintain.
- [Matthew] What's that supposed to mean?
- [Holcomb] How long does it take to get
- from the grocery store to here?
- [Matthew] What difference does it make?
- Easy, Matthew.
- How Are you suggesting
I had something to do with it?
- What the hell?
- Just covering all angles, Mr. Dodson.
Where was I? Who saw me?
I didn't kidnap my son.
- I didn't murder my own son.
- [E.B. Jonathan] No one is saying
- you did.
- Well, he is!
He's dancing around,
but that's what he fucking thinks.
[E.B. Jonathan] Maybe this is
a good time for a little break.
Sound okay to you,
Detective Holcomb?
Yeah. Why not?
Get some fresh air.
[Matthew] It's all right. You treated me
like you can't
- you can't just walk
- [E.B. Jonathan] Easy now, Matthew.
Let's have a little drink
of cold water, shall we?
[Matthew] Water. Right, great idea.
That'll fix everything.
[E.B. Jonathan] This is all part
of the process.
[Matthew] Are you kidding?
Look out there, it's a goddamn zoo.
[stairs creaking]
[camera shutter clicks]
[suspenseful music playing]
[clicks]
[clicks]
[reeling]
[clicks]
[children talking in distance]
[lighter clicks]
[Emily] Are you the man that
works with Mr. Jonathan?
Yes, ma'am.
Perry.
I'm Emily Dodson.
Charlie's mother.
Offer you a cigarette, Mrs. Dodson?
If you promise not to tell
my husband.
Wouldn't dream of it.
[lighter clicks]
[exhales]
[Emily] Thank you.
You were in the war,
weren't you?
The way you hold your cigarette.
Hiding the ember in your palm.
I guess I'm still trained not to give
them something to shoot at.
Was your husband over there?
Brother.
I haven't seen him
since we left Missouri.
I really wish they'd let me
clean in here.
All this fingerprint dust
Can't help feeling that it
reflects poorly on me somehow.
Oh, I don't think poorly of you.
God does.
That's why I'm being punished.
Do you have children, Mr. Perry?
It's Mason. Perry is my first name.
I have a son.
What's his name?
Theodore.
Teddy.
How old?
Nine in February.
Charlie likes turtles.
Liked.
What's your boy fond of?
Firetrucks.
I bet.
Nine is a good age for a boy.
[crying]
So
I'm sorry.
[typing]
[Mason] Yeah, fine, he's a hothead,
but he's a little too touchy
if you ask me.
And her?
She was just sitting
downstairs the whole time?
[E.B. Jonathan] She told the detectives
she gave the boy a bath,
put him to bed,
fell asleep by the fire
listening to the radio.
[Della] Actually,
she puts Charlie to bed,
goes downstairs
to clean up the kitchen,
goes back upstairs
to check on him
then goes downstairs
and falls asleep
listening to the radio.
She doesn't twitch an eyelid
while someone creeps into her house
and nabs her kid?
- You think she's a drinker?
- [Della] No. She's a mother.
Feeding, changing,
burping, screaming,
you wouldn't last a minute.
[Mason] Is this something
you know about?
[Della] Call it an educated guess.
All right. You're the kidnapper,
you have to case that house
long enough to know
Matthew's hours
at the grocery store,
the time Emily
gives Charlie the bath,
then puts him down,
then falls asleep herself.
Unless you have someone on the inside.
Oh, so you agree with the police.
You think the Dodsons
had something to do with it.
- I'm not agreeing with anyone.
- I sure hope not.
I've stood with those two.
That's grief, not guilt.
I'm just pointing out that someone knew
they were good for a hundred grand.
How do you figure that from a guy
who sells pickled cucumbers
and aftershaves?
It's queer from both sides.
[Della] And the baby.
Someone stood over Charlie
and stitched those eyes.
Yeah, it's a dark tone,
long, long, deep, dark tone.
Wipe it off, gentles.
We do what we're asked to do.
Well, that's easy for you to say.
Detectives aren't gonna like me
over their shoulder on this.
And I got a license
that could get pulled.
[E.B. Jonathan]
So you don't want the job?
- Did I say that?
- [E.B. Jonathan chuckles]
Bring me a signature and a check.
Cheer up.
Someone might throw a shoe at you.
And you, get your hands
off my liquor and yourself
down to the Angel's Flight
in the morning.
Be my eyes, son.
Time and a half.
- It's New Year's Eve.
- Earn it.
- [banging]
- [Lupe moaning in pleasure]
[creaking]
[Lupe moaning in pleasure]
[objects clattering]
[Lupe gasping]
[Lupe] Very good, papi.
[cow mooing]
I think she's jealous of me.
Did you bring some more of that tequila?
It's called mescal.
And if you want some,
you better get it yourself.
I ain't your fucking help.
[effort grunts]
[Lupe chuckles]
Either take them off
or put them back on, papi.
Make up your mind.
What are you in a rush for?
- I need sleep.
- Sleep here.
I sleep in my own bed.
I'll give you 6,000 for this dump.
Ha, ha! Six thousand
and she won't even sleep here.
It's a fair price.
It's a price.
It's a great fucking price.
You don't even have citrus.
You know I'm working this one.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
It's a big case.
You don't usually do the bigs.
I'm doing this one.
- [sighs] Six thousand five hundred.
- [chuckles]
Enjoy your bed.
I will.
[door closes]
[man] And right there,
in that very window,
sat the boy's parents.
- Watching, hoping, tragically unaware
- [camera shutter clicks]
that their tiny innocent
was already ascending to heaven
in the clutches of this demon.
This instrument of death.
Thank you, ma'am.
Happy New Year, sir.
[woman] Happy New Year!
Horror at Angel's Flight,
baby murdered,
read all about it.
[whistle blows]
[bell dinging]
[clicking]
- [gun cocking]
- [Mason gasps]
[Holcomb] Looking for something?
[Ennis] Close the blinds, Steve.
Maybe I couldn't see him so good
and shot him by accident.
Look, fellas, if I interrupted
some sort of tender moment,
I sincerely apologize.
Guy's a laugh riot.
Take it easy with that thing.
What the hell
are you doing here, Mason?
You gotta know something stinks
around Dodson
or else you wouldn't be here.
Get paid to look into things.
That's what I'm doing.
Hell with this. We got him on a B&E.
Let's run him in, torch his license.
- Get the fuck off me.
- [Holcomb] Settle down.
Ease up, God damn it.
You got something
says Dodson's clean,
you'll be doing him a favor
by letting us know.
[man in car]tiny innocent
was already ascending to heaven.
Right after the Dodsons
found little Charlie dead,
a green phaeton goes
tearing up Hill Street,
clipped the trolley.
[Holcomb] You think
that's our kidnapper?
Where did you get this phaeton shit?
Traffic cop working
the bottom of the flight.
He didn't think anything of it
at the time
because most cops are stupid.
Go check it out.
[door closes]
Your ape almost broke my camera.
My ape would've broke your jaw.
- Here.
- What's that?
For the car thing.
[scoffs] Save it
for a better sketch artist.
Man in hat? That sure narrows it down.
What about the guy on the phone
or the one in the car?
Halfway to Rio is my guess.
Is that why you like Dodson for it?
Got to arrest somebody.
So you tie him up in a bow
and put yourself up for promotion.
- That's tidy.
- Listen to you,
pissing on my five bucks
because some sap thinks
you can play cop?
I already got the entire city
standing on my neck.
So you enjoy the view
while you're up here
with the real police
because I'm gonna nail Dodson.
And when I do,
you're back on the bottom,
feeding off runaways
and cheaters.
[Holcomb] Lock up when you leave.
[door closes]
[man on car] Tragically unaware
their tiny innocent
was already ascending to heaven.
[camera shutter clicks]
Mason here, any messages?
[Diane] Mr. Strickland called, read me
three paragraphs of something
called Lipstick Girl,
I did not write them down.
Anything else?
Just Walt LeBaron.
Hammersmith Pictures requests
the honor of your presence
at his New Year's party.
Two tickets for you at the door,
business to discuss.
All right. Thanks, Irma.
Diane, God damn it.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
We got five minutes
and you owe me four bucks.
You said two.
Two for him, two for me.
That's four.
Happy New Year.
[clicks]
[dragging]
[singing] It makes no difference
If it's sweet
Or hot, hot, hot
Just give that rhythm
Everything you've got
What the fuck am I doing here?
You're getting paid.
[crowd cheering]
[Strickland] Looks like Groucho Marx.
Lovely ladies, kind gentlemen, welcome.
1931 was gangbusters
for Hammersmith Pictures.
1932 is gonna be even better
because the brightest stars
in the sky live right here,
- Mr. Dusty Rogers
- [Strickland] Oh, shit.
hero of the prairies.
[Strickland] Shorter than I thought.
They must use really
small horses in the movies.
[Hammersmith] Ladies, how do you
like the continental
Hey What are you gonna do
with your 300?
I'm gonna get a new pair of shoes.
Maybe some
Are you listening to me?
I say something,
then you say something,
that's how conversation works, Perry.
He's scaring the Jesus
out of me right now.
Mr. Petre Lupu.
[crowd clapping]
I don't think you're getting
into the spirit of the thing.
I saw the kid, Pete.
The thread.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
[Hammersmith] If you should be
happening to be living
- next to Miss America.
- Yeah.
[crowd laughs]
[Hammersmith] I call her the sweetest
piece of strudel I've ever seen.
I'll be back.
But you're gonna
call her Red, Miss Velma Fuller.
[crowd whistling]
Just a little, right there.
I'm sorry, Clara, I can't help myself.
Anyway, listen. Happy New Year
No champagne tonight?
Just the cash, Walt.
Can we do it this year?
go see a Hammersmith Picture.
Thank you all.
Okay, Mason.
Okay. Let's get you paid.
[amusing instrumental music playing]
[Hammersmith] You know
what we have here?
Plenty of nothing?
[Hammersmith] Ten thousand
square foot of it.
Why? Because I'm waiting
on a ten-million-dollar line
of credit from the Irving Trust.
I liked it better when we were bandits
on the lam from the picture
patents company.
Let's see what you got.
With people starving on breadlines.
The negatives?
They're somewhere safe.
Oh, okay.
[sighs]
[Hammersmith] Nice lighter.
Here's the thing
we said 200.
Six hundred is fair,
because I can get that
from the teller, easy.
Let me tell you how I see it.
People are desperate out there,
Mason.
They're starving, scared, hopeless.
And for one little nickel,
what do we give them?
The two hours in the dark,
singing, dancing,
laughter, tears, romance
hope.
And here you come on New Year's Eve
and what you wanna do
is take these poor suffering
people's hope away
- for 400 measly bucks?
- I can be flexible on the price.
It's not about the price.
It's the principle.
So
200 like we agreed
minus
199 for all the bullshit.
You need to think about your actions.
You need to decide
what kind of person
you wanna be.
And the negatives
when you have a chance.
- [Mason grunts]
- [sizzling]
[groans]
[grunts]
[door closes]
[Mason] Fuck.
[amusing instrumental music playing]
[people laughing]
You get it?
Did you get the 600?
- There.
- The fuck is this, a dollar?
- I think I overplayed it.
- No, Christ.
- No, no, no.
- I'm sorry, Pete.
I got a family to feed.
[all cheering]
And fuck you.
[Black Hat] Relax, he'll be here.
He got a hot date, maybe?
[Black Hat] Uh-oh, touched a nerve.
I'm starting to think
he doesn't like us.
Why are you still wearing that hat?
Your picture's
on every front page in town.
It's a fedora.
- One and half million in Los Angeles.
- [sighs]
It looks good on me.
None of this was part of the plan.
So jump off a pier and swim to Tahiti.
I'll take your share.
My share of what? A noose?
[Black Hat] No one's getting strung out.
[fireworks bursting]
I should've run.
The second I saw Charlie
done like that.
His eyes, Jesus.
I should've run.
We all should have.
But we didn't, did we, killer?
[door opens]
Evening, gentlemen. Sorry I'm late.
Bunch of drunk Sambos blocking
up the road singing and dancing.
Spooks were so fucking happy,
I didn't have the heart
to crack any skulls.
[man] Let's get this over with.
[Ennis] No Auld Lang Syne?
Okay.
What the fuck?
[gunshots]
[coughing]
They made the car.
- [gun cocking]
- [bullet casings clatter]
[spurting]
[choking]
[door opens, closes]
Fuck. Fuck.
[dramatic music playing]
[effort grunts]
[fireworks whistling]
[panting]
[door rattling]
[yelling]
[thuds]
[Linda] Mailman said
it's a stamp short,
wants me to pay for it.
I said I'd love to pay for it
except my bum of an ex
hasn't sent me money a month.
Yeah, it's been tight, you know?
I haven't I don't know
why the fuck I am arguing
with you about this,
just put him on the phone.
He's already in bed.
Well, then, wake him up.
I'm his I'm his father.
I get to talk to my son
on New Year's Eve.
That was already last year.
It's New Year's Day.
- Put him on the fucking phone, Lin
- [line disconnects]
[sighs]
[music playing]
How long have you
been standing there?
Long enough to see
you make a jackass of yourself.
She hung up on me.
You never call the ex
on New Year's Eve, papi.
Hello, operator?
Could I get, a long distance call?
City of Salinas, Axminister 7-7181.
What the hell happened to you?
All right. Well,
I was just on that line,
it is it is the number
of a heartless woman,
but there is nothing wrong
with her ears,
so keep it ringing.
You know, my second husband
tracked me down to Caracas, so,
I had to pull
my little.22 on him.
They only shot the pendejo in
Just a little longer, please?
Do you Do you have kids, operator?
Do you have a heart?
No heart.
[hangs up phone]
Listen
I'm flying straight to Oaxaca.
Knocking back some mescal,
chewing on chapulines by sunset
next to someone dumb
and good-looking next to me, so
I thought of you.
Love, romance, excitement? Hmm?
All of All of life's big thrills.
Maybe you can get
cleaned up first.
Everybody's up to something.
Everybody's got an angle,
hiding something.
And everybody is guilty.
[chuckling]
[softly] Fuck.
[smashing]
They don't make these things so good.
[bat clatters]
[sighs]
Poor papi.
[kisses]
There is a black angel out there.
A big, big, black angel
with long fingers.
[door opens, closes]
[sighs] Fuck.
[sighs]
[instrumental music playing]
So you like turtles?
[dramatic music playing]