Political Animals s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
What a day for American politics.
Former first lady, governor of Illinois and candidate for president of the United States Elaine Barrish Hammond, just minutes from addressing the packed ballroom at The Radcliffe Hotel in Chicago.
There's not much you can say about the governor that hasn't been said.
She's been called everything from a feminist liberal icon to an opportunistic closet conservative.
Cold and ambitious to warm, charming, and unfairly maligned.
But no matter your opinion you have to admire what she's accomplished.
Democrat or Republican, man or woman watching the room, it is impossible not to feel a sense of history today.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
That's the sound of the Hammond family now entering the ballroom.
First is Douglas Hammond with his girlfriend Anne.
Douglas taking a leadership role in his mother's campaign.
Some say he has quite a future of his own in politics.
And, of course, directly behind them is Thomas referred to as T.
J.
In Hammond circles.
Everyone kept waiting for his homosexuality to be an issue but nope, it never was.
The governor's mother is now entering the room always a fixture in a Hammond campaign dating back to both of Bud Hammond's successful runs for the presidency.
If you can't hear anything that's because Bud Hammond just entered the room.
Man, they love this guy.
Former president Hammond got himself into a bit of trouble in the last six months calling directly into question Garcetti's competency for the job.
[ANNIE LENNOX'S "SHINING LIGHT" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
The governor's theme song, signaling her entrance.
This kind of enthusiasm is usually reserved for her husband but it's not his name they're shouting now.
ALL [CHANTING.]
: Elaine, Elaine, Elaine.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, please.
Earlier today, I called Senator Garcetti to congratulate him on a tough and hard-fought primary but a primary worthy of the people of this party and of this great nation.
Although we were not successful in securing the nomination this campaign has had so many victories.
I wanna take a moment to say something to the young women and little girls, who joined our cause.
Please don't be discouraged by my loss.
As sure as I stand here and because I stand here one day, one of you will be the president of the United States of America.
And that is a day this woman plans on living to see.
[ALL CHEERING.]
MAN 1: Great speech.
WOMAN: Thank you, Elaine.
We love you.
MAN 2: Mr.
President.
BUD: Yes.
Mr.
President, can you sign my pin? Oh, you betcha.
Keep walking, Bud.
Uh, excuse me.
- Why can't you run again, Mr.
President? - Would if I could, honey.
Would if I could.
There have been some serious screwups that have happened in this party's history.
But none as historic as this horse shit.
I need a drink.
Just get me two fingers with a little Diet Coke.
- I have to watch my figure.
- Come on, you're a hottie, Grandma.
Oh, you homos love me.
It's the rich, straight guys I'm worried about.
What retard with half a brain thinks that Italian shit show is gonna win? Florida, gone, Texas, sayonara.
Arnie wants to make sure you're good sitting with the majors.
If this party thinks we're lifting one finger to help that douche get elected, they got another thing coming.
- Enough, Bud.
BUD: Don't feel bad, babe.
Garcetti had the press corps eating off his nut sack.
Even in my prime, he'd have been a challenge.
- I'd have licked him for sure but - I said, be quiet.
Can we have the room, please? Now? It's okay, Sam.
I wanted to assassinate him, I would have done it years ago.
In his sleep.
I should have campaigned more.
I spent so much time in North Carolina, you'd think I was running for governor.
You know, I know, given your epic levels of narcissism that it's impossible for you to fathom this loss has nothing to do with you but imagine for a moment it doesn't.
The country loves you.
They will always love you.
- It's me they have mixed feelings about.
- Oh, now, sugar Don't give me that crap about how the people would love me if they knew me.
It's been 20 years, okay? They know me.
I hate campaigning.
It's an Olympic sport in hypocrisy.
Fat smokers droning on and on about their shitty medical coverage.
Smiling when babies with runny noses are shoved in my face.
And most of all, I hate lying.
I hate lying and telling people things are gonna get better when they never will.
You believe the lie and that is why you have won, heh, every election you've ever been in.
- That's why Garcetti is going to win too.
- Bullshit.
That man is going to be president.
And if you don't get in line, you are going to be iced out.
I left office with an 84 percent approval rating, right? I am the most popular Democrat since Kennedy had his brains splattered across the Dallas concrete.
Baby, I am the meat in the Big Mac of this party, right? The white creamy center of its Oreo freaking cookie.
And that greasy Michael Corleone knockoff needs me to win this son of a bitch, plain and simple.
You bastard.
It's the hardest moment of my professional life and you can't even pretend to make this easier for me.
You're asking me to eat shit.
Now, I held the highest office in the land an office only 41 men before me ever held.
I don't eat shit, I serve it.
I'm going back to Springfield tonight.
You can use the room at the Four Seasons.
We'll still have the campaign jet but it's better if you hitch a ride with Carslen or one of the other donors.
My office will work it out with yours.
And no need to worry about the state chairs I will take care of that this week.
Oh.
And Bud? I want a divorce.
SUSAN: So that was it.
After 32 years of marriage you asked for a divorce the night you conceded the nomination.
It's not news that journalists have accused me of divorcing my husband for political gain.
Heh, they usually don't work for the nation's leading paper, Miss Berg.
When he was president, you stayed.
You left when you lost your shot.
Politics had something to do with it.
You won a Pulitzer in your 20s for covering his affairs, did you not? - I did.
- I'm curious.
What is it like launching your career by stepping on the throat of someone else's marriage? His adultery was a story, I covered it.
- No Pulitzers to speak of since, though? - No.
You went to work for the Garcetti campaign after your loss developing a rapport with the president, then Candidate Garcetti.
Hello, Atlanta! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Looking good.
How would you like to meet the next president of the United States? You know, I'm sure if you ask nicely we can get the senator here to show us some of the dance moves he's been sporting lately.
Only if you join me, Elaine.
[THE STAPLE SINGERS' "I'LL TAKE YOU THERE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
Any truth to the rumor you turned down veep and asked for State? I'm on record as saying I did not wanna be secretary of state.
- But you said yes.
- I'm old-fashioned that way.
When the president asks you to serve, you serve.
I'd like to express my gratitude to the Russian foreign minister for this exquisite Chuvashian scarf.
[BOTH SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN.]
Our goal this week is to prepare for the tripartite energy summit with the Chinese government.
There is much our three countries have in common.
And, heh, I have no doubt that it will prove enlightening for all of us.
Did you enjoy the ass grab, Viktor? Good.
Because the next time you touch me I'm gonna rip off your tiny, shriveled balls and serve them to you in a cold borscht soup.
[IN RUSSIAN.]
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN.]
By most polls, if you ran today, you'd win in a landslide defeating the last four presidents, including your ex-husband.
Madam Secretary, you have to agree the former president has struggled since your divorce.
Recently, he's been romantically linked to TV star Eva Flores.
A union that hasn't helped his descent into political ignominy.
I'm telling you, Eliot, I need to release another book.
In all due respect, Mr.
President, the timing just isn't right for you now.
I just wouldn't wannajeopardize your quote.
It's the best one a former president's ever gotten for a, uh, memoir.
Well, maybe I'll write it anyway, you know? There's a story to be told here the mainstream media is ignoring.
President Goombah Shit-Face says he wants to be different than me then he goes and hires half my administration, including my ex-wife.
Who should be renamed secretary of save-his-greasy-dago-ass.
- Can I get another Johnnie Walker? MAN: Yes, Mr.
President.
Now, who is that gorgeous piece of tail at the bar keeps looking over here? Looks familiar.
Eva Flores.
She's on that show where the doctors bang each other.
- Hawaii Medical.
- Excellent program.
Now that is one gifted woman.
Those breasts are insured by the network.
Heh, get out of here.
How does that work? If something happens to her, she gets hit by a car or a piano falls on her boobs or something, they're covered.
Why don't you see if she'll come over? [SIGHS.]
Hawaii, how are you? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, you're so funny, Mr.
President.
Call me Bud, darling.
Well, that's gonna be strange but I'll try.
You're pretty sexy, Bud.
See, not so hard.
I'd say it is.
So the rumors are true.
Tom.
Bring the car around.
[EVA MOANING.]
Oh, yeah! Oh, yes, Mr.
President! Yes, Mr.
President! I haven't watched her show but I hear she's talented.
- Have you seen him since the divorce? - Bud? No? - So tonight's the first time? ELAINE: Hmm.
- Any residual feelings there? - Lf there were, I wouldn't tell you.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
What are you really after, Miss Berg? Follow the secretary of state the week of her son's engagement party.
- Observing how - Spare me the bullshit.
We're off the record.
My office informed me that we were given a choice.
Either I let you cover me the week of Douglas' engagement or you were gonna run a piece about my other son Thomas' difficulties with sobriety.
An empty threat, except you managed to obtain a sealed document regarding one night last December.
- I did.
- You're a newspaper.
That's news.
And yet you traded it for a week with me.
Which brings me to my original question.
What are you really after? Like any good reporter, Madam Secretary, I want the truth.
Why did you ask your ex-husband for a divorce that night? Was he too much baggage for you to recreate yourself in the face of such a setback? Or did you think your career was over so you no longer had to tolerate his rampant infidelity? Were you surprised at the public's reaction to the split? The president was suddenly despised for the same repugnant sexual behavior the country used to find roguish and cute? That you were suddenly beloved after having been viewed for so long as a cold and calculating political animal.
And, lastly, do you regret staying with him for so long? Was it worth it if you didn't get the grand prize the gold, glittering tiara of the presidency? How did it go? Remember what my mother called her.
- A bitch with a, heh, capital C.
- She undersold it.
I should know, being a card-carrying member of the club myself.
Madam Secretary, Bolivian embassy's office on the line.
They have been holding for 20 minutes.
Also, Undersecretary Bradford and Secretary Rivera's office are also on hold.
They say it's important.
Tell Rivera's office to hold, the rest I'll call back.
Put that away.
Away.
You certain there's no way I can get out of the remainder of this? You cool with the world finding out about T.
J or what he might do once the world finds out? When the Times gets ahold of the story, do we give them whatever they want? Susan Berg despises you.
She's wanted a sit down since you sequestered her from Bud's White House.
Well, she finally figured out how to get one.
[SHIVERS.]
- No one else of merit is gonna chase this.
DOUGLAS: They're not.
- See you later? - Yeah.
- Thomas is coming tonight, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, he wants to talk with you and Dad about the, uh, nightclub.
The nightclub? Oh, Christ.
- I already told him you won't do it.
- I won't.
Hey, are you even sure you want Dad there tonight? If I'm finally gonna be in the same room with Anne's parents and your father and his actress girlfriend I would rather not on the night of the engagement party.
The secretary dropped off.
He's gonna meet you at the White House now.
- You're being called in.
- What did they screw up this time? SUSAN: I forgot what a flaming bitch on wheels that woman is.
Whatever feud exists, she started.
One comment about her epitomizing the death of feminism they banned me from the White House for six years.
I couldn't even go to the Easter Egg Roll.
I love the Easter Egg roll.
Go.
Uh, hey, just remember you have the secretary's salon tonight.
So you might wanna go home and, uh, change before that.
What's wrong? I wear one outfit a day.
I'm not Beyoncé.
Yeah.
No, it's fine.
It's just, uh, it's not incredibly salon-y, I guess.
How many political salons have you been to? - Zero.
- Yeah, none.
Yeah.
Here you go.
Goodbye.
[SUSAN SIGHS.]
[GEORGIA LAUGHS.]
I can't blow out my own candle.
Blow out the candle.
- Blow it out.
- Blow out the candle.
Somebody blow something quick.
Hey, we're celebrating.
My blog had over 1,000,000 unique users this month, so I made cupcakes.
That's great, Georgia.
If you ever wanted to contribute it would be a complete honor.
- I'd love to.
I could share my favorite dating tips or, uh, revealing beauty secrets.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I should get back to work.
I'm filing my story on what Eva Flores might wear to the engagement party.
Better hurry before Woodward files it first.
You're going to the secretary's salon tonight, right? Yes, I am.
I'm sure it's pretty casual.
She is the journalistic equivalent of a weather girl.
- Claws in.
She looks up to you.
- No, I don't trust her.
If Eve Harrington were an actual person, she would look like Georgia she would bake cupcakes, and she would have a blog.
And her little crush on you is growing irritating.
Don't worry.
I got a crush on somebody else.
We're at work.
Babe, we live together.
Everybody knows.
Well, you're a guy and my boss.
If we kiss at the office, you get high fives.
I get glares from people who think that whore is sleeping with our editor.
[SUSAN SIGHS THEN SCOFFS.]
I'm sorry.
It's this Barrish interview.
It's got me in a mood.
She brought up the Pulitzer.
If the world only knew how insecure you actually are.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Alex Davies.
Uh, Gary, slow down.
All right, just hang on a second.
Let me get a pen.
All right, talk to me.
Something happened in Iran.
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC.]
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop! Hey, stop! [ALL SHOUTING.]
SAMSON: At approximately 0930 this morning, Iran Standard Time the Iranian Ministry of Intelligence apprehended three American journalists.
Military moved them to a facility where they were interrogated till they signed a confession to spying on behalf of America.
Hakam's administration has released the names of the journalists all three of whom are of Iranian-American descent and made a statement promising a swift trial within the next 48 hours.
Well, someone has to ask it.
Are they actually spies? No, they're innocent.
But with the signed admission and a sham trial, they'll be convicted.
Hakam is promising the death penalty unless President Garcetti negotiates for their release himself and in person.
You're kidding.
He wants the president of the United States to fly to Iran and beg for their release? [ELAINE CHUCKLES.]
What is he smoking? How long have you known about this? Well, I for one am just finding out.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Vice President, we've only known for a few hours ourselves.
We were trying to handle this internally.
You were trying to handle a diplomatic crisis with a hostile regime in a combustible region internally? We figured you had your son's party this week.
We don't wanna bother you.
That is so thoughtful.
But seeing as how I am the nation's leading diplomat I should probably be involved when there's a hostage crisis.
This is not a hostage crisis.
They are wrongfully detained prisoners.
Innocent civilians being held against their will.
- The American people aren't idiots.
- I don't think they're idiots.
You ran my campaign, Barry.
I know what you think of them.
GARCETTl: Elaine, you're right.
You should have been notified, both you and Fred.
I understand, Mr.
President.
If there's anything you need, I stand at the ready.
Not presently, Fred, thank you.
Why would he do this? I mean, he knows you're not gonna capitulate.
That's what we're trying to figure out.
With the expedited trial, we don't have much time.
I'd like to try some other contacts and call the journalists' families.
I'm assuming no one has done that? Right.
Figures.
Actually, there is one other thing.
We've prepared a statement for you to read.
Hey, that's bullshit.
We release our own statements.
- You are not your mother.
You cannot - Douglas.
Ahem, listen, Elaine, don't say anything you don't wanna say.
We got the budget review, and I'm in a standoff with the House Republicans on this EPA deal.
If you can keep the press calm on this one I'd appreciate it.
That's all.
DOUGLAS: I mean, could they be more incompetent? If the people really knew how this government ran there would be one big collective upchuck which FEMA would have to clean up.
BREWER: Shouldn't start the press conference with that.
Where are we with contacts? Line is cut with Syria.
They don't know anything.
Every time there is a fire I want the names of every foreign ambassador who's currently in the U.
S.
Let's just forget it, forget the press conference.
We'll draw a line in the sand with Harris and the White House You could have gotten fired for that behavior in front of the president.
He's not just a boss, he's not your floor manager at Chili's he is the president of United States.
Whether or not this administration is trading on my popularity is not what matters now.
All that matters now are the three, scared, innocent people sitting in ajail cell in Tehran wondering what their country is doing to help them.
- Are we clear? - Yes.
Hakam may be an evil bastard but he's not crazy.
He's on good terms with the supreme leader, elections aren't for two years.
Why pick a fight with us now? It doesn't make sense.
It's the Middle East.
It's the diplomatic equivalent of instructions from Ikea.
Heh, none of it makes any sense.
Go home, get ready for tonight.
Make sure you still have a fiancée to have a party with this weekend.
Go on.
He has your sense of loyalty.
He hates how they treat you and this department.
He hates losing.
That's not me, that's his father.
Sophia, what do you have for me? "This is a reprehensible act by an authoritarian state.
These journalists" Have been wrongfully detained and are innocent of all charges.
The president is doing everything to handle the matter swiftly and to get the journalists released to the Swiss Embassy our de facto embassy in Iran.
The situation in Iran adds to an already busy week for the secretary of state.
Her son Douglas'engagement is the must-attend event in D.
C.
This weekend.
Former president Bud Hammond and girlfriend, actress Eva Flores arrived in D.
C.
Today, where the star of the hit show Hawaii Medical If I had a rack like hers, I might still be getting laid.
You know, People magazine says the show actually has them insured.
ELAINE: Hello, Mother.
- Hi, dear.
- Hey, Mama.
- Oh, you're getting too skinny.
[T.
J.
CHUCKLES.]
Hey, boys.
Hey, Jack.
- Teddy.
Bobby.
MARGARET: You're not gonna see Bud dressed like that, I hope? First of all, I'm divorced.
Secondly, I was involved in a diplomatic crisis all day.
I didn't have time for a costume change.
Are you two really drinking already? T.
J.
Started it.
He said that you can't make margaritas with Jack Daniels.
- Turns out you can.
It's good.
- Of course.
Hey, I saw the attendee list.
Why is that bitch Susan Berg coming? Because that bitch is covering me this week.
Do me the favor of not talking to her.
If you must, try not saying things like, the country didn't elect me because they didn't want to sleep with me.
- It's true.
Hey, so I met the investors today.
I'd be one of the lead partners in D.
C.
I already told you, I am not giving you $100,000 to invest in a nightclub.
It's a restaurant and a nightclub.
And I don't need a 100.
I need 50.
I can get the other 50 from Dad.
What's this? [T.
J.
SIGHS.]
T.
J: Well, I rummaged through your spare closet found something you'd look killer in.
You wouldn't give yourself the time.
I can't fit into this.
You will.
I didn't get all the gay genes but I got the style one.
When did I wear this? The state dinner for the Saudi royals when I was 15.
It was right after Dad's first affair leaked to the press.
You bought it because it's important to look your best when you feel your worst.
Thomas Susan Berg has the story.
She knows about last December.
She agreed not to run it if we let her cover me.
- So we stopped her, but - It's okay.
No, it's okay.
Occupational hazard, right? It comes with being a Hammond.
They only love us when they're not busy hating us.
Listen, about the nightclub.
Talk to your father.
If he's in, I'm in.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Lf.
- That is awesome.
Wait till you see the business plan.
It's 50 pages.
It's got pictures, blueprints.
It Hey, do you want me to help you with your hair? Oh, no.
I got it sweetie.
[PEOPLE CHUCKLE.]
BUD: The guy said, "Well, actually, I prefer the pancake.
" [ALL CHUCKLE.]
Beatrice, you get any younger we're gonna have to make you a flower girl at the wedding.
Beatrice, Larry.
So good to see you.
Exciting week.
Hello, lovebirds.
You look so beautiful.
Darling.
Bud.
Sugar.
- Oh, heh, goodness.
EVA: Ahem.
Uh, Elaine, this is Eva.
Elaine Barrish.
I'm a fan of your work.
Thank you, Madam Secretary.
I'm a fan of your work too.
- And I love your dress.
- Thank you.
It's an old one.
Saudi state dinner, October '97.
Yes.
Good times.
- Shall we? - Yeah.
So glad you could join us, Miss Berg.
Thanks for the invite, Madam Secretary.
- You changed.
- You did too.
Please.
[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS AND PEOPLE CHATTERING.]
I know who you are, honey.
Don't waste your time.
They never let me talk on the record anyway.
I'm either too drunk or too honest, heh, or, God forbid, both.
We're off the record.
Tonight is just for color.
Oh, just for color.
Well, tell me, do you have a boyfriend? - Um, yes, I do.
- Is that right? I always thought you were a lesbian.
Hmm? But you sure know how to throw yourself together, unlike my daughter.
But then she has strength of character, and you're just a rotten little thing who makes a living saying really smart and really nasty things about people.
But you've got a boyfriend.
How about that.
You must give one hell of a hummer, lady.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Miss Berg, I've read a few of your pieces on the president.
Now, what was it you called him, the fashion? - Fashionista in chief.
BUD: Fashionista in chief.
You know, I liked the line, "He was elected a man of the people but he's just a man of the Prada.
" [ALL LAUGH.]
EVA: Oh, they always dress us in Prada on the show and I always complain because my character, Nurse Anna Alvarez she could never afford that in real life.
It's just so not realistic.
And all the screwing your characters do, how realistic is that? [ALL LAUGH.]
BEATRICE: More wine, please? [SPEAKING IN JAPANESE.]
LARRY: I'm sorry, Mr.
Ambassador.
My Japanese isn't too great.
- I ask, have you been to Japan recently? - Oh, not since the '80s.
My parents were born here.
As was I.
We're thinking of going to Japan for our honeymoon, Mr.
Ambassador.
- We were? - You know, it's on the list.
Why did you pick the zoo for your engagement party? Our family has always been big supporters of the National.
Ever since we first moved to D.
C.
I used to take the boys there all the time.
They loved the elephants.
And this event is helping to fund a new enclosure.
I think it was my mom that loved the elephants.
[ALL LAUGH.]
You know, working with Anne on the engagement party has been a delight.
The sheer number of guests and the size of the venue could overwhelm anyone but she has been a dream.
You know, it's funny.
She was so messy when she was little.
Mom.
Haven't seen that Anne.
We've only seen the perfect Anne, right? Douglas, Anne told me you're thinking of having the wedding near us in Del Mar.
Yeah, yeah.
We were talking about that.
Really? Del Mar? - You didn't mention that.
- It's one idea we've been tossing around.
But we're pretty partial to it, seeing how it's where I grew up.
[GLASS CLINKS.]
I just wanna say a few words to the two lovebirds.
[BUD CLEARS THROAT.]
Now, ever since Dougie was a little shit running around the North Carolina governor's mansion if I was gonna pick one of my boys to end up the homosexual I'd have picked Dougie.
The boy was gay as a spring dress.
Clothes had to be perfect, the hair had to be perfect.
- This is awesome.
- Move it along, Dad.
And typical Dougie, he went and found himself the perfect wife-to-be.
Anne, you're a treasure.
Welcome to the family.
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers.
I couldn't be more proud of you, son.
Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second? Yeah, sure.
Excuse us, we're just gonna It's the same guys that did Soho House.
I mean, it's Look.
Take a look at these numbers.
We're talking 3000 square feet of prime real estate.
In this market, we're getting it for a steal.
Here's the view of the Capitol Dome from the patio.
That's why we're calling it The Dome.
Killer name, right? No.
No, heh? Dad, well, you need to think about it or I'm not doing it, neither is your mama.
- She already said yes.
Tell him.
- I said, if your father committed.
- You're a goddamn liar.
- Now don't talk to your mother like that.
Giving an addict money is like buying a blind man a gorgeous hooker.
- It's stupid.
- I've been going to NA meetings.
- And drinking.
You're wasted right now.
- My problem was never alcohol.
Your problem was looking for an excuse.
- Three boarding schools, two colleges - Bud.
Why don't you play the piano anymore? People don't become concert pianists at 30, Dad.
- It doesn't happen.
- It's what you love.
I can speak to someone in Georgetown or GW.
I can get you ajob on the staff.
I'm not gonna be some lame-ass piano teacher.
You guys just want me to have a boring life.
After that stunt you pulled last December boring might do you some good.
Is that what it was to you, a stunt? [CHUCKLES.]
- I hate this family.
DOUGLAS: All right, all right, all right.
How am I ever supposed to do anything important if nobody ever helps me? [CLEARS THROAT.]
He worked on that for three months.
You could have at least heard him out.
Your mother was never gonna say yes to that bullshit idea.
She brought me here to be the bad guy.
Same reason she keeps you around.
You know, I've enjoyed the last year.
Yeah, without Mom or the White House to hide behind people finally see you for what you really are, a big joke.
Nice to see you haven't lost your touch with them.
You got a blind spot for T.
J.
Always did.
ELAINE: He didn't choose our life and he doesn't have the strength to withstand it.
He's a ticking bomb just like your daddy was.
BUD: You can't help him.
He has to wanna help himself.
Isn't that what this was? I tell you how good you look tonight? Save your compliments for your girlfriend.
- I miss you, sugar.
You miss me? - No.
- I don't believe you.
- I don't care.
I'm not a perfect man, baby.
You always knew that.
I was 22 when I fell in love with you.
I had no idea what kind of person you were.
Come on, it was fun.
Helping the state, the nation.
Now, and the problems we faced, we faced together, like a family.
It's not my fault it's over, Bud.
Your guinea boyfriend, he's roasting you on this Iran thing.
You know, the White House can't reach a comp Bullshit.
Hakam is a detestable son of a bitch who'd prefer if Israel were a memory.
Thinks the Saudis are greedy and wanna keep the Middle East in the dark ages.
But he wouldn't poke America in the eye unless he knows he's got a deal and a handshake.
I'm sure you're trying to figure out why he's killing those journalists but the question you should be asking is, why the expedited trial? Why's he moving so fast? Because that only benefits one guy.
You're looking for the shot.
Garcetti already has the ball and he's just running the clock out.
- Why would the president do that? - Why do we do anything? Why ruin the best thing that ever happened to me? Because people are stupid and weak.
My advice is stay out of this.
If I'm right, you're making an enemy of your boss.
You know I can't do that.
All anybody ever talks about is your ambition.
They never talk about your heart.
You know, I don't know why they don't see it because it's all I ever saw.
That and, uh, you were the foxiest piece of ass I ever laid eyes on.
You still are.
[RAGTIME MUSIC PLAYING ON PIANO.]
[ALL APPLAUDING.]
MARGARET: Well, that was wonderful.
This next one's for, uh, my bro and his sweet-ass fiancée.
Love you guys.
[PLAYING SOFT MUSIC.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hey, man, you never sent a face pic, so - Oh, damn, heh, you're - Let's pretend I'm not.
Okay, this is gonna sound kind of weird but I gotta tell you.
You wanted to sleep with me since I was a teen in the White House.
- Yeah.
- Lf you shut up, now's your big chance.
First, she hijacked the engagement party and now she's just hijacking the wedding.
[MOANING.]
Oh, God.
There has to be a rule against discussing my mother while I'm inside of you.
It is your fault.
We weren't finished with the conversation and you wanted to start having sex.
[PANTING.]
- She didn't hijack the engagement.
- Mm? - No.
- Yeah.
We wanted 60 people at a club and we're having 300 people at the zoo because your mother likes elephants.
There's gonna be helicopters and metal detectors and paparazzi posing as busboys.
Yes, there is a tsunami of bullshit that comes with being in my family.
Heh.
But don't you love me more than you hate all that? Mm-hm.
Yeah? [PHONE BUZZING.]
And that's your mom.
- I know.
- Get it.
Ask her why the Japanese ambassador was at dinner.
Tell her it's racist.
- Hello? - Porchov.
He's coming to the engagement party.
He's in New York early.
- The Russian foreign minister? ELAINE: Yes.
We need to be in New York tomorrow.
Don't let him know we're coming.
- Mom, that's in, like, six hours.
- I know, sweetheart.
Get cracking.
Um ANNE: You have to run? - I have to go.
ANNE: You have to go where? DOUGLAS: It can wait.
Also a great day for Bud Hammond and his girlfriend Eva Flores.
They arrived today in D.
C.
For his son's engagement party.
Well, Eva's, uh, breasts arrived last night, so [ALL LAUGHING ON TV.]
The former president introduced his ex-wife to his girlfriend, uh, this evening.
He's hoping they don't kill each other.
He's hoping there'll be a three-way.
But he'll settle for them not killing each other.
[SIGHS.]
SUSAN: If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was still in love with him.
The way she dressed up, kept avoiding his gaze.
Honestly, it was like she was a nervous school girl around him.
They were married for over 30 years.
Is it surprising she has feelings for him? Well, it's not surprising, it's just sad.
I mean, when Elaine Barrish graduated law school she gave the valedictorian address and got a standing ovation for 10 minutes.
I mean, 10 minutes.
Can you imagine that? What happened to that girl? How did she sit out the next 20 years catering to a man who repeatedly cheated on her? You never told me, you know, how you snagged the interview.
I'm not asking as your boss, I'm asking as your boyfriend.
How'd you get it? T.
J.
Hammond tried to kill himself.
I have a contact at GW Hospital.
Last December, they rushed T.
J.
To the ER under a pseudonym for carbon monoxide poisoning.
They swept the police report under the rug, but not the medical ones.
You told the secretary's office you had the story? I wasn't gonna write it.
But they didn't know that.
- I feel creepy even telling you about it.
- Why didn't you tell me? It's not news.
Or if it is, it's not news the Globe should be printing.
- No, just threatening to print.
- There's a difference.
And you just asked me to tell you as my boyfriend, which I did.
But no one else can know.
Okay? All right, fine.
But if you got your hands on a medical file, somebody else will.
You should have said something.
Next time I hear news that's disgusting and exploitative, you'll be first to know.
Good night.
Oh, thank you.
I assume this trip is concerning the journalists? I would never write anything that would interfere with whatever high-level talks are happening.
You finally decided to acquire some journalistic ethics.
How nice for you.
You still have the same breakfast.
Steel-cut oats and blueberries.
You wouldn't remember but I was in your pool during your husband's first run for the presidency.
Before they put me on the D.
C.
Desk, heh.
I remember.
You were just out of school, you had a sister at Amherst and your mother was a former physician.
Yes.
I know I wrote some tough things about you in the past.
It may surprise you, Miss Berg but I've actually never read your columns.
If I read half of what people wrote about me I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.
I did read your book.
About the impending fourth wave of feminism.
Not bad.
No one read my book.
Well, maybe it was the title.
When Bitches Rule.
I was trying to reclaim the word.
It might have impacted your sales.
After all, never call a bitch a bitch.
Us bitches hate that.
[SUSAN CHUCKLES.]
Um this just came in.
It's not good.
Here.
The Iranian court has found the journalists guilty.
President Hakam has set their execution for 24 hours from now.
How do you do it? Even people like me, who have criticized you, do admire your resolve.
My usual answer is that I share the ethos with most Americans.
If you work hard and give it everything you got tomorrow will be better than today.
And the truth? Most of life is hell.
It's filled with failure and loss.
People disappoint you, dreams don't work out hearts get broken, innocent journalists die.
And the best moments of life when everything comes together, are few and fleeting.
But you'll never get to the next great moment if you don't keep going.
So that's what I do, I keep going.
Ooh, I'm out.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Viktor, what are you gonna take off next? ELAINE: Tell him the U.
S.
Secretary of state is here and I need to see him.
Viktor, you goon, I know you're in there.
It's Elaine.
I need to talk to you.
I'm serious.
Madam Secretary, translator not here.
Can't speak.
See you at engagement.
You went to Cornell undergrad so quit with the whole you don't understand me crap.
Right now, I need your help.
It's important.
What the hell is it, Elaine? I need help in getting in touch with the Iranian ambassador to the U.
N.
- I cannot get involved.
- I'm not asking you to get involved.
I am asking you to get me in a room with Ambassador Jobrani who is in this city and won't return my calls.
- Lf my prime minister - It's not your prime minister you should be worried about, Viktor, it's your wife.
You think I don't know who's in there? [WOMEN GIGGLING.]
I'm doing it, not because you threaten because you got balls.
And I respect balls.
- And a great ass.
- Thank you.
Mr.
Foreign Minister, I came as Mr.
Ambassador, I didn't know you were coming.
I was just having tea with my buddy Viktor here.
You know, you've been impossible to reach.
Cell phone issues? - We cannot be talking, Madam Secretary.
- We are, Amir.
Thank you, Viktor.
You owe me.
There is nothing you can do, Madam Secretary.
The wheels of this are in motion.
When those Americans are dead, then there's nothing I can do.
Now, you and I go back, Amir.
I know you're a good man.
I also know you worked for Hakam in the private sector and you're close.
You either know why this is happening or you have a pretty good idea why.
Either way, I need to know what you know.
Hakam is sick.
Pancreatic cancer.
Before he dies, he wants to begin negotiations to freeze Iran's nuclear program entirely.
He can't forge a treaty of meaning without support of the conservatives so he takes an aggressive action.
Either he kills some American spies or you agree to negotiate for their release on Iranian soil.
Both are clear wins that get him to the table.
My recommendation, Mr.
President, is that either you or an emissary from this administration meet with Hakam in Oman and release the hostages there.
You're not gonna do that, are you? Because you already knew what he was up to and you're letting it happen.
You crossed some serious lines today.
First, the rogue mission to New York.
- Now you accuse the president of this? - You were a lousy campaign manager.
You're a rotten chief of staff.
And you're an even worse liar.
I'd like a moment alone with the president.
Give us a minute.
Yes, we knew.
Harris, Samson, a few others.
- We knew but we didn't agree to it.
- I'm supposed to believe you? After you've used my office to quiet the press.
I'm sorry about that.
You don't have to believe me but it's the truth.
Hakam floated the idea to us through one of his contacts.
We floated back a hard no.
Two weeks later, he's doing it anyway.
If you knew this was a negotiation, why not meet a few demands and save the lives of those American journalists? When we ran against each other, you said I was an idiot for suggesting we sit down with Iran.
I would look foolish doing the same thing.
- And I lost.
- Be glad you did.
I was a dog chasing a car and I caught a bus.
The economy's in free fall.
I can't pass legislation through Congress.
I go on TVto communicate a vision and America collectively turns me off to watch drunk housewives and singing competitions.
- I have been here before.
I have stood in this office when Bud faced darker hours than these and I'm telling you, now is not the time to be discouraged.
- Now is the time to lead.
- I'm not your ex-husband, Elaine.
The goal is a nuclear treaty with Iran.
This isn't how I wanted to get it.
I tried to stop it.
But I'm gonna take it.
Now you, uh, go focus on your son's party.
There's nothing more you can do here.
"It's not enough to have the courage of your convictions.
You have to have the courage of others' too.
" These were your words during our last debate.
The voters believed you.
I believed you.
Some days, sir, it would be nice to be working for the man who beat me.
The only thing I hate worse than being wrong is your father being right about it.
- It's out.
- How long? - Ten minutes.
Oh, my God.
ELAINE: "According to files obtained exclusively by journalist Georgia Gibbons the Washington Globe has just learned that Thomas James Hammond son of former president Donald Hammond and Secretary of State Elaine Barrish was taken to George Washington Hospital last December after an apparent suicide attempt.
" Oh, my God.
Tommy.
Tommy.
Tommy, no.
[ELAINE CRYING AND T.
J.
COUGHS.]
"Thomas was admitted to the emergency room at 11:15 p.
m.
, on December 22nd, under the pseudonym of Aaron Reed and treated immediately for high levels of carbon monoxide poisoning.
" Help me, please! "The report is the latest unfortunate event in the troubled life of the former first son.
" - Where is your brother? - Been trying him.
Find him now.
Yeah.
Our time together is done.
Get out.
I can assure you, I had nothing to do with this.
I don't care.
Get out.
I wasn't aware there was anyone at my paper looking into it.
I'm as upset as you are.
You couldn't possibly be as upset as I am.
Was it your child you found barely alive? Was it? No.
It seems the story missed a few details, but what do you care? To you people, my son has always been another drug-addicted cautionary tale responsible for all of his own misfortunes.
But he was the first openly gay child of a president.
You will never know the vitriol, the evil, he suffered when he came out against his will, as a boy in the White House.
And yet you trade on his pain and suffering to coerce me into this interview.
Where is that in the story, huh? Where in there does it say what kind of person you are? The only good news I've gotten all week is I don't have to share the same space with you anymore.
Now get the hell out! [CLEARS THROAT.]
Hi.
It's me.
I need to see you.
Right away.
The Washington Globe reports exclusively tonight that T.
J.
Hammond son of Secretary of State Elaine Barrish and former president Bud Hammond was admitted to Washington General Hospital on December 22, 2011 after a failed suicide attempt.
- Damn.
- Medical records obtained by the Globe - This sucks, yo.
- You better now? - Much.
Give me the usual.
WOMAN [ON TV.]
: - By carbon monoxide poisoning fueling assumptions that this was indeed a suicide attempt.
He was admitted under the alias of Aaron Reed.
Your mom? Your mom is hot.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
You gotta give me her autograph.
I need a picture of her in one of them bad-ass Chanel suits.
I want her to put: "To Omar, my finest black sweet meat.
Love, Elaine.
" Ha, ha.
Yeah.
I mean, she don't gotta put "love.
" She can just put "XO.
" [PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, it's my bro.
He keeps calling.
I gotta get this.
- Hey.
- Yeah.
Hey, there you are.
I've been trying to get ahold of you.
Did you, um Did you see it yet? Yeah.
It's all bullshit.
Don't worry about it, heh.
DOUGLAS: Hey, where are you now? - I'm with my sponsor.
Worry about your party, bro.
I'm all good.
I swear.
I love you.
ELAINE [OVER PHONE.]
: Did you reach him? Uh, yeah.
I just talked to him.
He, uh, he says he's with his sponsor.
I know, he's lying.
I'm supposed to pick up my tux with Anne.
I'm gonna track him down.
I will call you back when I'm with him.
Where are you? I'm following a lead.
- [OVER PHONE.]
And Douglas? - Yeah? You are a good brother and a good son.
I'll call you.
Thanks for coming.
I'm having one of the worst days of my life and you're still the one person who can make me feel like everything's gonna be okay.
Even when it's not.
Come here, sugar.
WOMAN 1: Congrats, Georgia.
We're so happy for you.
[CHUCKLING.]
WOMAN 2: Amazing story.
Oh, hey, Susan.
I'm sure you're pretty upset over the whole Hammond suicide story.
- I'm really sorry - Hmm.
if it stepped on your Barrish piece.
But I had a source come forward and I just I had to run with it.
Of all the industries, looking the way you do porn, reality hosting, you chose journalism.
Why? You don't care about its history.
You have no regard for what we do or who's come before you.
Like you have no regard for the life on the other end of that piece.
You're not mad I ran that story you're just mad it cost you one.
Bitch.
You're gonna regret you ever posted this.
Oh, and, uh, Georgia never call a bitch a bitch.
Us bitches hate that.
Your boyfriend knew about it.
He had to approve it before I could post it.
I warned you this could happen.
It could get out.
But then you come to me and you tell me.
Why? - So you could tell me to stop it? - Oh, yeah.
That is exactly the kind of conflict of interest I cannot have in my life.
What are we, a newspaper or a gossip site? We're a dying institution.
People are gonna talk about newspapers the way we talk about rotary phones.
Did you give Georgia the story? No.
You asked me not to tell anyone.
Are you sleeping with her? [CHUCKLES.]
That Okay.
You are paranoid.
Is this what hanging out with Elaine Barrish does to you? Are you sleeping with her? I'm not gonna answer that question.
You just did.
[CHATTERING.]
- Yeah.
- Look, I screwed up.
I know.
I screwed up.
We have been together for two years.
I had to beg you to move in with me.
Friends ask if we're getting married, you say no without looking at me.
You say, "I don't believe in it and Alex failed at it twice.
That's why I picked him.
" Name one time that you've spent as much energy on something for us as you have on this Barrish piece.
Even now, I can't tell if you're more upset I slept with Georgia or that I gave her the story.
For a second I thought I was gonna get the "I'm sorry I hurt you" speech.
Let's be clear, I am definitely more upset that you stuck your dick in another woman than I am about the story.
You know that I'm sorry.
You don't make it easy.
You don't make it easy to love you.
It's not supposed to be easy, you asshole.
Easy is Georgia.
Easy is where you can spend the night while I'm moving out.
[BUD AND ELAINE CHUCKLING.]
I think we broke a couple of mattress springs.
- Oh, that was for sure top 10.
- Oh, not even close.
Unlike you, I'm out of practice.
How's T.
J.
Doing? I tried calling him but he won't take my calls.
Dougie's looking for him.
I don't know, Bud.
We can't just make him go to rehab.
We tried that twice.
And we can't give him money for another failed venture.
I don't know what to do.
I must be the highest ranking co-dependent in the country.
It was so much simpler when they were boys just you know, yelling at us about the Secret Service detail.
How come they weren't allowed to drive on the road like regular 16-year-olds.
- Yeah.
It was simpler.
Man, we had some good times.
Some fun times.
I'd like to propose to the president that he send you to Iran as a last-ditch effort to negotiate for these journalists.
Hakam may not go for it but it's worth a try.
I thought you'd never ask.
- Ha, ha.
What? - Well, I figured you'd come to me.
It's not like President Sinatra was lifting a GD finger.
Besides, I know Hakam, I know the players on the ground.
And the Iranian people love me.
They call me President Khoob.
That means "the good president.
" Is that what this was about? The "I missed you, sugar" and "You're still the foxiest piece of ass" it was just bullshit? - I meant every word of it.
I always do.
No.
You just wanted me to get Garcetti to send you to Iran so you could get back in the game? And I fell for it? I am the best person to get those journalists and you know it.
Shit.
I mean, you weren't pissed I wanted you to ask me, you were pissed I thought of it first.
I wasn't playing you.
You were playing me.
Did we sleep together because of politics? Sure.
But it was also about love.
It's always about both with us, baby.
That's our story.
Now, we were made for each other.
Now, we were made to fight for this country together and we're not done fighting, not by a long shot.
- You are crazy.
- I love you, sugar.
And if you think for a second I'm giving up on us then you don't know me and you never did.
We are done.
Do you hear me? Done! Asshole.
That's my girl.
[SIGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, God.
Excuse me.
Um [CLEARS THROAT.]
ALICE [OVER PHONE.]
: Hello, Madam Secretary.
Oh, did Douglas call? ALICE: No.
But I have a list of others, including Susan Berg who's tried you several times.
- Oh.
Get her back.
I'll hold.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you for seeing me.
I, uh I wanted to apologize.
I found out the story was my fault.
I inadvertently leaked it, heh.
I told my editor, who I'm sleeping with.
He told the other woman he's also sleeping with.
A fellow journalist.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Genuinely.
- I thought you'd appreciate the irony.
- May be the meanest thing you've said.
Oh, you haven't read my columns.
They were mean.
I may have read a few of your columns.
For years, I wrote about you being an affront to women because you stayed with your husband.
Like most, I believed it was because of your political ambitions.
Then, when I went to pack tonight it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I stayed because I loved him.
I know.
So why'd you finally leave? Because after 30 years, in that moment exhausted from the campaign, I finally had the strength to.
I never answer the question because there is no article no book that can explain the complexities of a single marriage.
I'm gonna give you a headline that should supplant the whirlwind currently surrounding my son.
We'll be postponing the engagement a few days.
Bud is going to Iran.
- The president is sending him? - The president hasn't agreed but he will.
I'm meeting him in an hour and I'm giving him a choice.
Either he sends my ex-husband or he accepts my resignation.
Now you've just heard that from a very high-level source at State.
- I wanna be on that plane.
- Oh, Miss Berg.
If it goes awry, it'll be background for my piece on you.
But if the current secretary of state sends her ex-husband to rescue a bunch of hostages in Iran and it works I want that story.
I need that story.
We'll be in touch.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS.]
Beautiful creatures, aren't they? Majestic, fearsome but still gentle.
They move slower than most animals but they travel just as far.
But that isn't what I love most about them.
They're a matriarchal society.
And when the males reach their mating age the females kick them the hell out of the herd.
[SUSAN CHUCKLES.]
Russ, it's me.
Okay, write this down exactly as I say it.
Sources at the State Department are confirming that Secretary of State Elaine Barrish will recommend to President Garcetti - Can you keep a secret, Clark? - That's my job, Madam Secretary.
I'm gonna run for president again.
And this time, I'm gonna win.
[ENGINE REVS.]
[English - US - SDH.]
Former first lady, governor of Illinois and candidate for president of the United States Elaine Barrish Hammond, just minutes from addressing the packed ballroom at The Radcliffe Hotel in Chicago.
There's not much you can say about the governor that hasn't been said.
She's been called everything from a feminist liberal icon to an opportunistic closet conservative.
Cold and ambitious to warm, charming, and unfairly maligned.
But no matter your opinion you have to admire what she's accomplished.
Democrat or Republican, man or woman watching the room, it is impossible not to feel a sense of history today.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
That's the sound of the Hammond family now entering the ballroom.
First is Douglas Hammond with his girlfriend Anne.
Douglas taking a leadership role in his mother's campaign.
Some say he has quite a future of his own in politics.
And, of course, directly behind them is Thomas referred to as T.
J.
In Hammond circles.
Everyone kept waiting for his homosexuality to be an issue but nope, it never was.
The governor's mother is now entering the room always a fixture in a Hammond campaign dating back to both of Bud Hammond's successful runs for the presidency.
If you can't hear anything that's because Bud Hammond just entered the room.
Man, they love this guy.
Former president Hammond got himself into a bit of trouble in the last six months calling directly into question Garcetti's competency for the job.
[ANNIE LENNOX'S "SHINING LIGHT" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
The governor's theme song, signaling her entrance.
This kind of enthusiasm is usually reserved for her husband but it's not his name they're shouting now.
ALL [CHANTING.]
: Elaine, Elaine, Elaine.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, please.
Earlier today, I called Senator Garcetti to congratulate him on a tough and hard-fought primary but a primary worthy of the people of this party and of this great nation.
Although we were not successful in securing the nomination this campaign has had so many victories.
I wanna take a moment to say something to the young women and little girls, who joined our cause.
Please don't be discouraged by my loss.
As sure as I stand here and because I stand here one day, one of you will be the president of the United States of America.
And that is a day this woman plans on living to see.
[ALL CHEERING.]
MAN 1: Great speech.
WOMAN: Thank you, Elaine.
We love you.
MAN 2: Mr.
President.
BUD: Yes.
Mr.
President, can you sign my pin? Oh, you betcha.
Keep walking, Bud.
Uh, excuse me.
- Why can't you run again, Mr.
President? - Would if I could, honey.
Would if I could.
There have been some serious screwups that have happened in this party's history.
But none as historic as this horse shit.
I need a drink.
Just get me two fingers with a little Diet Coke.
- I have to watch my figure.
- Come on, you're a hottie, Grandma.
Oh, you homos love me.
It's the rich, straight guys I'm worried about.
What retard with half a brain thinks that Italian shit show is gonna win? Florida, gone, Texas, sayonara.
Arnie wants to make sure you're good sitting with the majors.
If this party thinks we're lifting one finger to help that douche get elected, they got another thing coming.
- Enough, Bud.
BUD: Don't feel bad, babe.
Garcetti had the press corps eating off his nut sack.
Even in my prime, he'd have been a challenge.
- I'd have licked him for sure but - I said, be quiet.
Can we have the room, please? Now? It's okay, Sam.
I wanted to assassinate him, I would have done it years ago.
In his sleep.
I should have campaigned more.
I spent so much time in North Carolina, you'd think I was running for governor.
You know, I know, given your epic levels of narcissism that it's impossible for you to fathom this loss has nothing to do with you but imagine for a moment it doesn't.
The country loves you.
They will always love you.
- It's me they have mixed feelings about.
- Oh, now, sugar Don't give me that crap about how the people would love me if they knew me.
It's been 20 years, okay? They know me.
I hate campaigning.
It's an Olympic sport in hypocrisy.
Fat smokers droning on and on about their shitty medical coverage.
Smiling when babies with runny noses are shoved in my face.
And most of all, I hate lying.
I hate lying and telling people things are gonna get better when they never will.
You believe the lie and that is why you have won, heh, every election you've ever been in.
- That's why Garcetti is going to win too.
- Bullshit.
That man is going to be president.
And if you don't get in line, you are going to be iced out.
I left office with an 84 percent approval rating, right? I am the most popular Democrat since Kennedy had his brains splattered across the Dallas concrete.
Baby, I am the meat in the Big Mac of this party, right? The white creamy center of its Oreo freaking cookie.
And that greasy Michael Corleone knockoff needs me to win this son of a bitch, plain and simple.
You bastard.
It's the hardest moment of my professional life and you can't even pretend to make this easier for me.
You're asking me to eat shit.
Now, I held the highest office in the land an office only 41 men before me ever held.
I don't eat shit, I serve it.
I'm going back to Springfield tonight.
You can use the room at the Four Seasons.
We'll still have the campaign jet but it's better if you hitch a ride with Carslen or one of the other donors.
My office will work it out with yours.
And no need to worry about the state chairs I will take care of that this week.
Oh.
And Bud? I want a divorce.
SUSAN: So that was it.
After 32 years of marriage you asked for a divorce the night you conceded the nomination.
It's not news that journalists have accused me of divorcing my husband for political gain.
Heh, they usually don't work for the nation's leading paper, Miss Berg.
When he was president, you stayed.
You left when you lost your shot.
Politics had something to do with it.
You won a Pulitzer in your 20s for covering his affairs, did you not? - I did.
- I'm curious.
What is it like launching your career by stepping on the throat of someone else's marriage? His adultery was a story, I covered it.
- No Pulitzers to speak of since, though? - No.
You went to work for the Garcetti campaign after your loss developing a rapport with the president, then Candidate Garcetti.
Hello, Atlanta! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Looking good.
How would you like to meet the next president of the United States? You know, I'm sure if you ask nicely we can get the senator here to show us some of the dance moves he's been sporting lately.
Only if you join me, Elaine.
[THE STAPLE SINGERS' "I'LL TAKE YOU THERE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
Any truth to the rumor you turned down veep and asked for State? I'm on record as saying I did not wanna be secretary of state.
- But you said yes.
- I'm old-fashioned that way.
When the president asks you to serve, you serve.
I'd like to express my gratitude to the Russian foreign minister for this exquisite Chuvashian scarf.
[BOTH SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN.]
Our goal this week is to prepare for the tripartite energy summit with the Chinese government.
There is much our three countries have in common.
And, heh, I have no doubt that it will prove enlightening for all of us.
Did you enjoy the ass grab, Viktor? Good.
Because the next time you touch me I'm gonna rip off your tiny, shriveled balls and serve them to you in a cold borscht soup.
[IN RUSSIAN.]
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN.]
By most polls, if you ran today, you'd win in a landslide defeating the last four presidents, including your ex-husband.
Madam Secretary, you have to agree the former president has struggled since your divorce.
Recently, he's been romantically linked to TV star Eva Flores.
A union that hasn't helped his descent into political ignominy.
I'm telling you, Eliot, I need to release another book.
In all due respect, Mr.
President, the timing just isn't right for you now.
I just wouldn't wannajeopardize your quote.
It's the best one a former president's ever gotten for a, uh, memoir.
Well, maybe I'll write it anyway, you know? There's a story to be told here the mainstream media is ignoring.
President Goombah Shit-Face says he wants to be different than me then he goes and hires half my administration, including my ex-wife.
Who should be renamed secretary of save-his-greasy-dago-ass.
- Can I get another Johnnie Walker? MAN: Yes, Mr.
President.
Now, who is that gorgeous piece of tail at the bar keeps looking over here? Looks familiar.
Eva Flores.
She's on that show where the doctors bang each other.
- Hawaii Medical.
- Excellent program.
Now that is one gifted woman.
Those breasts are insured by the network.
Heh, get out of here.
How does that work? If something happens to her, she gets hit by a car or a piano falls on her boobs or something, they're covered.
Why don't you see if she'll come over? [SIGHS.]
Hawaii, how are you? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, you're so funny, Mr.
President.
Call me Bud, darling.
Well, that's gonna be strange but I'll try.
You're pretty sexy, Bud.
See, not so hard.
I'd say it is.
So the rumors are true.
Tom.
Bring the car around.
[EVA MOANING.]
Oh, yeah! Oh, yes, Mr.
President! Yes, Mr.
President! I haven't watched her show but I hear she's talented.
- Have you seen him since the divorce? - Bud? No? - So tonight's the first time? ELAINE: Hmm.
- Any residual feelings there? - Lf there were, I wouldn't tell you.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
What are you really after, Miss Berg? Follow the secretary of state the week of her son's engagement party.
- Observing how - Spare me the bullshit.
We're off the record.
My office informed me that we were given a choice.
Either I let you cover me the week of Douglas' engagement or you were gonna run a piece about my other son Thomas' difficulties with sobriety.
An empty threat, except you managed to obtain a sealed document regarding one night last December.
- I did.
- You're a newspaper.
That's news.
And yet you traded it for a week with me.
Which brings me to my original question.
What are you really after? Like any good reporter, Madam Secretary, I want the truth.
Why did you ask your ex-husband for a divorce that night? Was he too much baggage for you to recreate yourself in the face of such a setback? Or did you think your career was over so you no longer had to tolerate his rampant infidelity? Were you surprised at the public's reaction to the split? The president was suddenly despised for the same repugnant sexual behavior the country used to find roguish and cute? That you were suddenly beloved after having been viewed for so long as a cold and calculating political animal.
And, lastly, do you regret staying with him for so long? Was it worth it if you didn't get the grand prize the gold, glittering tiara of the presidency? How did it go? Remember what my mother called her.
- A bitch with a, heh, capital C.
- She undersold it.
I should know, being a card-carrying member of the club myself.
Madam Secretary, Bolivian embassy's office on the line.
They have been holding for 20 minutes.
Also, Undersecretary Bradford and Secretary Rivera's office are also on hold.
They say it's important.
Tell Rivera's office to hold, the rest I'll call back.
Put that away.
Away.
You certain there's no way I can get out of the remainder of this? You cool with the world finding out about T.
J or what he might do once the world finds out? When the Times gets ahold of the story, do we give them whatever they want? Susan Berg despises you.
She's wanted a sit down since you sequestered her from Bud's White House.
Well, she finally figured out how to get one.
[SHIVERS.]
- No one else of merit is gonna chase this.
DOUGLAS: They're not.
- See you later? - Yeah.
- Thomas is coming tonight, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, he wants to talk with you and Dad about the, uh, nightclub.
The nightclub? Oh, Christ.
- I already told him you won't do it.
- I won't.
Hey, are you even sure you want Dad there tonight? If I'm finally gonna be in the same room with Anne's parents and your father and his actress girlfriend I would rather not on the night of the engagement party.
The secretary dropped off.
He's gonna meet you at the White House now.
- You're being called in.
- What did they screw up this time? SUSAN: I forgot what a flaming bitch on wheels that woman is.
Whatever feud exists, she started.
One comment about her epitomizing the death of feminism they banned me from the White House for six years.
I couldn't even go to the Easter Egg Roll.
I love the Easter Egg roll.
Go.
Uh, hey, just remember you have the secretary's salon tonight.
So you might wanna go home and, uh, change before that.
What's wrong? I wear one outfit a day.
I'm not Beyoncé.
Yeah.
No, it's fine.
It's just, uh, it's not incredibly salon-y, I guess.
How many political salons have you been to? - Zero.
- Yeah, none.
Yeah.
Here you go.
Goodbye.
[SUSAN SIGHS.]
[GEORGIA LAUGHS.]
I can't blow out my own candle.
Blow out the candle.
- Blow it out.
- Blow out the candle.
Somebody blow something quick.
Hey, we're celebrating.
My blog had over 1,000,000 unique users this month, so I made cupcakes.
That's great, Georgia.
If you ever wanted to contribute it would be a complete honor.
- I'd love to.
I could share my favorite dating tips or, uh, revealing beauty secrets.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I should get back to work.
I'm filing my story on what Eva Flores might wear to the engagement party.
Better hurry before Woodward files it first.
You're going to the secretary's salon tonight, right? Yes, I am.
I'm sure it's pretty casual.
She is the journalistic equivalent of a weather girl.
- Claws in.
She looks up to you.
- No, I don't trust her.
If Eve Harrington were an actual person, she would look like Georgia she would bake cupcakes, and she would have a blog.
And her little crush on you is growing irritating.
Don't worry.
I got a crush on somebody else.
We're at work.
Babe, we live together.
Everybody knows.
Well, you're a guy and my boss.
If we kiss at the office, you get high fives.
I get glares from people who think that whore is sleeping with our editor.
[SUSAN SIGHS THEN SCOFFS.]
I'm sorry.
It's this Barrish interview.
It's got me in a mood.
She brought up the Pulitzer.
If the world only knew how insecure you actually are.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Alex Davies.
Uh, Gary, slow down.
All right, just hang on a second.
Let me get a pen.
All right, talk to me.
Something happened in Iran.
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC.]
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop! Hey, stop! [ALL SHOUTING.]
SAMSON: At approximately 0930 this morning, Iran Standard Time the Iranian Ministry of Intelligence apprehended three American journalists.
Military moved them to a facility where they were interrogated till they signed a confession to spying on behalf of America.
Hakam's administration has released the names of the journalists all three of whom are of Iranian-American descent and made a statement promising a swift trial within the next 48 hours.
Well, someone has to ask it.
Are they actually spies? No, they're innocent.
But with the signed admission and a sham trial, they'll be convicted.
Hakam is promising the death penalty unless President Garcetti negotiates for their release himself and in person.
You're kidding.
He wants the president of the United States to fly to Iran and beg for their release? [ELAINE CHUCKLES.]
What is he smoking? How long have you known about this? Well, I for one am just finding out.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Vice President, we've only known for a few hours ourselves.
We were trying to handle this internally.
You were trying to handle a diplomatic crisis with a hostile regime in a combustible region internally? We figured you had your son's party this week.
We don't wanna bother you.
That is so thoughtful.
But seeing as how I am the nation's leading diplomat I should probably be involved when there's a hostage crisis.
This is not a hostage crisis.
They are wrongfully detained prisoners.
Innocent civilians being held against their will.
- The American people aren't idiots.
- I don't think they're idiots.
You ran my campaign, Barry.
I know what you think of them.
GARCETTl: Elaine, you're right.
You should have been notified, both you and Fred.
I understand, Mr.
President.
If there's anything you need, I stand at the ready.
Not presently, Fred, thank you.
Why would he do this? I mean, he knows you're not gonna capitulate.
That's what we're trying to figure out.
With the expedited trial, we don't have much time.
I'd like to try some other contacts and call the journalists' families.
I'm assuming no one has done that? Right.
Figures.
Actually, there is one other thing.
We've prepared a statement for you to read.
Hey, that's bullshit.
We release our own statements.
- You are not your mother.
You cannot - Douglas.
Ahem, listen, Elaine, don't say anything you don't wanna say.
We got the budget review, and I'm in a standoff with the House Republicans on this EPA deal.
If you can keep the press calm on this one I'd appreciate it.
That's all.
DOUGLAS: I mean, could they be more incompetent? If the people really knew how this government ran there would be one big collective upchuck which FEMA would have to clean up.
BREWER: Shouldn't start the press conference with that.
Where are we with contacts? Line is cut with Syria.
They don't know anything.
Every time there is a fire I want the names of every foreign ambassador who's currently in the U.
S.
Let's just forget it, forget the press conference.
We'll draw a line in the sand with Harris and the White House You could have gotten fired for that behavior in front of the president.
He's not just a boss, he's not your floor manager at Chili's he is the president of United States.
Whether or not this administration is trading on my popularity is not what matters now.
All that matters now are the three, scared, innocent people sitting in ajail cell in Tehran wondering what their country is doing to help them.
- Are we clear? - Yes.
Hakam may be an evil bastard but he's not crazy.
He's on good terms with the supreme leader, elections aren't for two years.
Why pick a fight with us now? It doesn't make sense.
It's the Middle East.
It's the diplomatic equivalent of instructions from Ikea.
Heh, none of it makes any sense.
Go home, get ready for tonight.
Make sure you still have a fiancée to have a party with this weekend.
Go on.
He has your sense of loyalty.
He hates how they treat you and this department.
He hates losing.
That's not me, that's his father.
Sophia, what do you have for me? "This is a reprehensible act by an authoritarian state.
These journalists" Have been wrongfully detained and are innocent of all charges.
The president is doing everything to handle the matter swiftly and to get the journalists released to the Swiss Embassy our de facto embassy in Iran.
The situation in Iran adds to an already busy week for the secretary of state.
Her son Douglas'engagement is the must-attend event in D.
C.
This weekend.
Former president Bud Hammond and girlfriend, actress Eva Flores arrived in D.
C.
Today, where the star of the hit show Hawaii Medical If I had a rack like hers, I might still be getting laid.
You know, People magazine says the show actually has them insured.
ELAINE: Hello, Mother.
- Hi, dear.
- Hey, Mama.
- Oh, you're getting too skinny.
[T.
J.
CHUCKLES.]
Hey, boys.
Hey, Jack.
- Teddy.
Bobby.
MARGARET: You're not gonna see Bud dressed like that, I hope? First of all, I'm divorced.
Secondly, I was involved in a diplomatic crisis all day.
I didn't have time for a costume change.
Are you two really drinking already? T.
J.
Started it.
He said that you can't make margaritas with Jack Daniels.
- Turns out you can.
It's good.
- Of course.
Hey, I saw the attendee list.
Why is that bitch Susan Berg coming? Because that bitch is covering me this week.
Do me the favor of not talking to her.
If you must, try not saying things like, the country didn't elect me because they didn't want to sleep with me.
- It's true.
Hey, so I met the investors today.
I'd be one of the lead partners in D.
C.
I already told you, I am not giving you $100,000 to invest in a nightclub.
It's a restaurant and a nightclub.
And I don't need a 100.
I need 50.
I can get the other 50 from Dad.
What's this? [T.
J.
SIGHS.]
T.
J: Well, I rummaged through your spare closet found something you'd look killer in.
You wouldn't give yourself the time.
I can't fit into this.
You will.
I didn't get all the gay genes but I got the style one.
When did I wear this? The state dinner for the Saudi royals when I was 15.
It was right after Dad's first affair leaked to the press.
You bought it because it's important to look your best when you feel your worst.
Thomas Susan Berg has the story.
She knows about last December.
She agreed not to run it if we let her cover me.
- So we stopped her, but - It's okay.
No, it's okay.
Occupational hazard, right? It comes with being a Hammond.
They only love us when they're not busy hating us.
Listen, about the nightclub.
Talk to your father.
If he's in, I'm in.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Lf.
- That is awesome.
Wait till you see the business plan.
It's 50 pages.
It's got pictures, blueprints.
It Hey, do you want me to help you with your hair? Oh, no.
I got it sweetie.
[PEOPLE CHUCKLE.]
BUD: The guy said, "Well, actually, I prefer the pancake.
" [ALL CHUCKLE.]
Beatrice, you get any younger we're gonna have to make you a flower girl at the wedding.
Beatrice, Larry.
So good to see you.
Exciting week.
Hello, lovebirds.
You look so beautiful.
Darling.
Bud.
Sugar.
- Oh, heh, goodness.
EVA: Ahem.
Uh, Elaine, this is Eva.
Elaine Barrish.
I'm a fan of your work.
Thank you, Madam Secretary.
I'm a fan of your work too.
- And I love your dress.
- Thank you.
It's an old one.
Saudi state dinner, October '97.
Yes.
Good times.
- Shall we? - Yeah.
So glad you could join us, Miss Berg.
Thanks for the invite, Madam Secretary.
- You changed.
- You did too.
Please.
[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS AND PEOPLE CHATTERING.]
I know who you are, honey.
Don't waste your time.
They never let me talk on the record anyway.
I'm either too drunk or too honest, heh, or, God forbid, both.
We're off the record.
Tonight is just for color.
Oh, just for color.
Well, tell me, do you have a boyfriend? - Um, yes, I do.
- Is that right? I always thought you were a lesbian.
Hmm? But you sure know how to throw yourself together, unlike my daughter.
But then she has strength of character, and you're just a rotten little thing who makes a living saying really smart and really nasty things about people.
But you've got a boyfriend.
How about that.
You must give one hell of a hummer, lady.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Miss Berg, I've read a few of your pieces on the president.
Now, what was it you called him, the fashion? - Fashionista in chief.
BUD: Fashionista in chief.
You know, I liked the line, "He was elected a man of the people but he's just a man of the Prada.
" [ALL LAUGH.]
EVA: Oh, they always dress us in Prada on the show and I always complain because my character, Nurse Anna Alvarez she could never afford that in real life.
It's just so not realistic.
And all the screwing your characters do, how realistic is that? [ALL LAUGH.]
BEATRICE: More wine, please? [SPEAKING IN JAPANESE.]
LARRY: I'm sorry, Mr.
Ambassador.
My Japanese isn't too great.
- I ask, have you been to Japan recently? - Oh, not since the '80s.
My parents were born here.
As was I.
We're thinking of going to Japan for our honeymoon, Mr.
Ambassador.
- We were? - You know, it's on the list.
Why did you pick the zoo for your engagement party? Our family has always been big supporters of the National.
Ever since we first moved to D.
C.
I used to take the boys there all the time.
They loved the elephants.
And this event is helping to fund a new enclosure.
I think it was my mom that loved the elephants.
[ALL LAUGH.]
You know, working with Anne on the engagement party has been a delight.
The sheer number of guests and the size of the venue could overwhelm anyone but she has been a dream.
You know, it's funny.
She was so messy when she was little.
Mom.
Haven't seen that Anne.
We've only seen the perfect Anne, right? Douglas, Anne told me you're thinking of having the wedding near us in Del Mar.
Yeah, yeah.
We were talking about that.
Really? Del Mar? - You didn't mention that.
- It's one idea we've been tossing around.
But we're pretty partial to it, seeing how it's where I grew up.
[GLASS CLINKS.]
I just wanna say a few words to the two lovebirds.
[BUD CLEARS THROAT.]
Now, ever since Dougie was a little shit running around the North Carolina governor's mansion if I was gonna pick one of my boys to end up the homosexual I'd have picked Dougie.
The boy was gay as a spring dress.
Clothes had to be perfect, the hair had to be perfect.
- This is awesome.
- Move it along, Dad.
And typical Dougie, he went and found himself the perfect wife-to-be.
Anne, you're a treasure.
Welcome to the family.
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers.
I couldn't be more proud of you, son.
Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second? Yeah, sure.
Excuse us, we're just gonna It's the same guys that did Soho House.
I mean, it's Look.
Take a look at these numbers.
We're talking 3000 square feet of prime real estate.
In this market, we're getting it for a steal.
Here's the view of the Capitol Dome from the patio.
That's why we're calling it The Dome.
Killer name, right? No.
No, heh? Dad, well, you need to think about it or I'm not doing it, neither is your mama.
- She already said yes.
Tell him.
- I said, if your father committed.
- You're a goddamn liar.
- Now don't talk to your mother like that.
Giving an addict money is like buying a blind man a gorgeous hooker.
- It's stupid.
- I've been going to NA meetings.
- And drinking.
You're wasted right now.
- My problem was never alcohol.
Your problem was looking for an excuse.
- Three boarding schools, two colleges - Bud.
Why don't you play the piano anymore? People don't become concert pianists at 30, Dad.
- It doesn't happen.
- It's what you love.
I can speak to someone in Georgetown or GW.
I can get you ajob on the staff.
I'm not gonna be some lame-ass piano teacher.
You guys just want me to have a boring life.
After that stunt you pulled last December boring might do you some good.
Is that what it was to you, a stunt? [CHUCKLES.]
- I hate this family.
DOUGLAS: All right, all right, all right.
How am I ever supposed to do anything important if nobody ever helps me? [CLEARS THROAT.]
He worked on that for three months.
You could have at least heard him out.
Your mother was never gonna say yes to that bullshit idea.
She brought me here to be the bad guy.
Same reason she keeps you around.
You know, I've enjoyed the last year.
Yeah, without Mom or the White House to hide behind people finally see you for what you really are, a big joke.
Nice to see you haven't lost your touch with them.
You got a blind spot for T.
J.
Always did.
ELAINE: He didn't choose our life and he doesn't have the strength to withstand it.
He's a ticking bomb just like your daddy was.
BUD: You can't help him.
He has to wanna help himself.
Isn't that what this was? I tell you how good you look tonight? Save your compliments for your girlfriend.
- I miss you, sugar.
You miss me? - No.
- I don't believe you.
- I don't care.
I'm not a perfect man, baby.
You always knew that.
I was 22 when I fell in love with you.
I had no idea what kind of person you were.
Come on, it was fun.
Helping the state, the nation.
Now, and the problems we faced, we faced together, like a family.
It's not my fault it's over, Bud.
Your guinea boyfriend, he's roasting you on this Iran thing.
You know, the White House can't reach a comp Bullshit.
Hakam is a detestable son of a bitch who'd prefer if Israel were a memory.
Thinks the Saudis are greedy and wanna keep the Middle East in the dark ages.
But he wouldn't poke America in the eye unless he knows he's got a deal and a handshake.
I'm sure you're trying to figure out why he's killing those journalists but the question you should be asking is, why the expedited trial? Why's he moving so fast? Because that only benefits one guy.
You're looking for the shot.
Garcetti already has the ball and he's just running the clock out.
- Why would the president do that? - Why do we do anything? Why ruin the best thing that ever happened to me? Because people are stupid and weak.
My advice is stay out of this.
If I'm right, you're making an enemy of your boss.
You know I can't do that.
All anybody ever talks about is your ambition.
They never talk about your heart.
You know, I don't know why they don't see it because it's all I ever saw.
That and, uh, you were the foxiest piece of ass I ever laid eyes on.
You still are.
[RAGTIME MUSIC PLAYING ON PIANO.]
[ALL APPLAUDING.]
MARGARET: Well, that was wonderful.
This next one's for, uh, my bro and his sweet-ass fiancée.
Love you guys.
[PLAYING SOFT MUSIC.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hey, man, you never sent a face pic, so - Oh, damn, heh, you're - Let's pretend I'm not.
Okay, this is gonna sound kind of weird but I gotta tell you.
You wanted to sleep with me since I was a teen in the White House.
- Yeah.
- Lf you shut up, now's your big chance.
First, she hijacked the engagement party and now she's just hijacking the wedding.
[MOANING.]
Oh, God.
There has to be a rule against discussing my mother while I'm inside of you.
It is your fault.
We weren't finished with the conversation and you wanted to start having sex.
[PANTING.]
- She didn't hijack the engagement.
- Mm? - No.
- Yeah.
We wanted 60 people at a club and we're having 300 people at the zoo because your mother likes elephants.
There's gonna be helicopters and metal detectors and paparazzi posing as busboys.
Yes, there is a tsunami of bullshit that comes with being in my family.
Heh.
But don't you love me more than you hate all that? Mm-hm.
Yeah? [PHONE BUZZING.]
And that's your mom.
- I know.
- Get it.
Ask her why the Japanese ambassador was at dinner.
Tell her it's racist.
- Hello? - Porchov.
He's coming to the engagement party.
He's in New York early.
- The Russian foreign minister? ELAINE: Yes.
We need to be in New York tomorrow.
Don't let him know we're coming.
- Mom, that's in, like, six hours.
- I know, sweetheart.
Get cracking.
Um ANNE: You have to run? - I have to go.
ANNE: You have to go where? DOUGLAS: It can wait.
Also a great day for Bud Hammond and his girlfriend Eva Flores.
They arrived today in D.
C.
For his son's engagement party.
Well, Eva's, uh, breasts arrived last night, so [ALL LAUGHING ON TV.]
The former president introduced his ex-wife to his girlfriend, uh, this evening.
He's hoping they don't kill each other.
He's hoping there'll be a three-way.
But he'll settle for them not killing each other.
[SIGHS.]
SUSAN: If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was still in love with him.
The way she dressed up, kept avoiding his gaze.
Honestly, it was like she was a nervous school girl around him.
They were married for over 30 years.
Is it surprising she has feelings for him? Well, it's not surprising, it's just sad.
I mean, when Elaine Barrish graduated law school she gave the valedictorian address and got a standing ovation for 10 minutes.
I mean, 10 minutes.
Can you imagine that? What happened to that girl? How did she sit out the next 20 years catering to a man who repeatedly cheated on her? You never told me, you know, how you snagged the interview.
I'm not asking as your boss, I'm asking as your boyfriend.
How'd you get it? T.
J.
Hammond tried to kill himself.
I have a contact at GW Hospital.
Last December, they rushed T.
J.
To the ER under a pseudonym for carbon monoxide poisoning.
They swept the police report under the rug, but not the medical ones.
You told the secretary's office you had the story? I wasn't gonna write it.
But they didn't know that.
- I feel creepy even telling you about it.
- Why didn't you tell me? It's not news.
Or if it is, it's not news the Globe should be printing.
- No, just threatening to print.
- There's a difference.
And you just asked me to tell you as my boyfriend, which I did.
But no one else can know.
Okay? All right, fine.
But if you got your hands on a medical file, somebody else will.
You should have said something.
Next time I hear news that's disgusting and exploitative, you'll be first to know.
Good night.
Oh, thank you.
I assume this trip is concerning the journalists? I would never write anything that would interfere with whatever high-level talks are happening.
You finally decided to acquire some journalistic ethics.
How nice for you.
You still have the same breakfast.
Steel-cut oats and blueberries.
You wouldn't remember but I was in your pool during your husband's first run for the presidency.
Before they put me on the D.
C.
Desk, heh.
I remember.
You were just out of school, you had a sister at Amherst and your mother was a former physician.
Yes.
I know I wrote some tough things about you in the past.
It may surprise you, Miss Berg but I've actually never read your columns.
If I read half of what people wrote about me I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.
I did read your book.
About the impending fourth wave of feminism.
Not bad.
No one read my book.
Well, maybe it was the title.
When Bitches Rule.
I was trying to reclaim the word.
It might have impacted your sales.
After all, never call a bitch a bitch.
Us bitches hate that.
[SUSAN CHUCKLES.]
Um this just came in.
It's not good.
Here.
The Iranian court has found the journalists guilty.
President Hakam has set their execution for 24 hours from now.
How do you do it? Even people like me, who have criticized you, do admire your resolve.
My usual answer is that I share the ethos with most Americans.
If you work hard and give it everything you got tomorrow will be better than today.
And the truth? Most of life is hell.
It's filled with failure and loss.
People disappoint you, dreams don't work out hearts get broken, innocent journalists die.
And the best moments of life when everything comes together, are few and fleeting.
But you'll never get to the next great moment if you don't keep going.
So that's what I do, I keep going.
Ooh, I'm out.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Viktor, what are you gonna take off next? ELAINE: Tell him the U.
S.
Secretary of state is here and I need to see him.
Viktor, you goon, I know you're in there.
It's Elaine.
I need to talk to you.
I'm serious.
Madam Secretary, translator not here.
Can't speak.
See you at engagement.
You went to Cornell undergrad so quit with the whole you don't understand me crap.
Right now, I need your help.
It's important.
What the hell is it, Elaine? I need help in getting in touch with the Iranian ambassador to the U.
N.
- I cannot get involved.
- I'm not asking you to get involved.
I am asking you to get me in a room with Ambassador Jobrani who is in this city and won't return my calls.
- Lf my prime minister - It's not your prime minister you should be worried about, Viktor, it's your wife.
You think I don't know who's in there? [WOMEN GIGGLING.]
I'm doing it, not because you threaten because you got balls.
And I respect balls.
- And a great ass.
- Thank you.
Mr.
Foreign Minister, I came as Mr.
Ambassador, I didn't know you were coming.
I was just having tea with my buddy Viktor here.
You know, you've been impossible to reach.
Cell phone issues? - We cannot be talking, Madam Secretary.
- We are, Amir.
Thank you, Viktor.
You owe me.
There is nothing you can do, Madam Secretary.
The wheels of this are in motion.
When those Americans are dead, then there's nothing I can do.
Now, you and I go back, Amir.
I know you're a good man.
I also know you worked for Hakam in the private sector and you're close.
You either know why this is happening or you have a pretty good idea why.
Either way, I need to know what you know.
Hakam is sick.
Pancreatic cancer.
Before he dies, he wants to begin negotiations to freeze Iran's nuclear program entirely.
He can't forge a treaty of meaning without support of the conservatives so he takes an aggressive action.
Either he kills some American spies or you agree to negotiate for their release on Iranian soil.
Both are clear wins that get him to the table.
My recommendation, Mr.
President, is that either you or an emissary from this administration meet with Hakam in Oman and release the hostages there.
You're not gonna do that, are you? Because you already knew what he was up to and you're letting it happen.
You crossed some serious lines today.
First, the rogue mission to New York.
- Now you accuse the president of this? - You were a lousy campaign manager.
You're a rotten chief of staff.
And you're an even worse liar.
I'd like a moment alone with the president.
Give us a minute.
Yes, we knew.
Harris, Samson, a few others.
- We knew but we didn't agree to it.
- I'm supposed to believe you? After you've used my office to quiet the press.
I'm sorry about that.
You don't have to believe me but it's the truth.
Hakam floated the idea to us through one of his contacts.
We floated back a hard no.
Two weeks later, he's doing it anyway.
If you knew this was a negotiation, why not meet a few demands and save the lives of those American journalists? When we ran against each other, you said I was an idiot for suggesting we sit down with Iran.
I would look foolish doing the same thing.
- And I lost.
- Be glad you did.
I was a dog chasing a car and I caught a bus.
The economy's in free fall.
I can't pass legislation through Congress.
I go on TVto communicate a vision and America collectively turns me off to watch drunk housewives and singing competitions.
- I have been here before.
I have stood in this office when Bud faced darker hours than these and I'm telling you, now is not the time to be discouraged.
- Now is the time to lead.
- I'm not your ex-husband, Elaine.
The goal is a nuclear treaty with Iran.
This isn't how I wanted to get it.
I tried to stop it.
But I'm gonna take it.
Now you, uh, go focus on your son's party.
There's nothing more you can do here.
"It's not enough to have the courage of your convictions.
You have to have the courage of others' too.
" These were your words during our last debate.
The voters believed you.
I believed you.
Some days, sir, it would be nice to be working for the man who beat me.
The only thing I hate worse than being wrong is your father being right about it.
- It's out.
- How long? - Ten minutes.
Oh, my God.
ELAINE: "According to files obtained exclusively by journalist Georgia Gibbons the Washington Globe has just learned that Thomas James Hammond son of former president Donald Hammond and Secretary of State Elaine Barrish was taken to George Washington Hospital last December after an apparent suicide attempt.
" Oh, my God.
Tommy.
Tommy.
Tommy, no.
[ELAINE CRYING AND T.
J.
COUGHS.]
"Thomas was admitted to the emergency room at 11:15 p.
m.
, on December 22nd, under the pseudonym of Aaron Reed and treated immediately for high levels of carbon monoxide poisoning.
" Help me, please! "The report is the latest unfortunate event in the troubled life of the former first son.
" - Where is your brother? - Been trying him.
Find him now.
Yeah.
Our time together is done.
Get out.
I can assure you, I had nothing to do with this.
I don't care.
Get out.
I wasn't aware there was anyone at my paper looking into it.
I'm as upset as you are.
You couldn't possibly be as upset as I am.
Was it your child you found barely alive? Was it? No.
It seems the story missed a few details, but what do you care? To you people, my son has always been another drug-addicted cautionary tale responsible for all of his own misfortunes.
But he was the first openly gay child of a president.
You will never know the vitriol, the evil, he suffered when he came out against his will, as a boy in the White House.
And yet you trade on his pain and suffering to coerce me into this interview.
Where is that in the story, huh? Where in there does it say what kind of person you are? The only good news I've gotten all week is I don't have to share the same space with you anymore.
Now get the hell out! [CLEARS THROAT.]
Hi.
It's me.
I need to see you.
Right away.
The Washington Globe reports exclusively tonight that T.
J.
Hammond son of Secretary of State Elaine Barrish and former president Bud Hammond was admitted to Washington General Hospital on December 22, 2011 after a failed suicide attempt.
- Damn.
- Medical records obtained by the Globe - This sucks, yo.
- You better now? - Much.
Give me the usual.
WOMAN [ON TV.]
: - By carbon monoxide poisoning fueling assumptions that this was indeed a suicide attempt.
He was admitted under the alias of Aaron Reed.
Your mom? Your mom is hot.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
You gotta give me her autograph.
I need a picture of her in one of them bad-ass Chanel suits.
I want her to put: "To Omar, my finest black sweet meat.
Love, Elaine.
" Ha, ha.
Yeah.
I mean, she don't gotta put "love.
" She can just put "XO.
" [PHONE RINGING.]
Oh, it's my bro.
He keeps calling.
I gotta get this.
- Hey.
- Yeah.
Hey, there you are.
I've been trying to get ahold of you.
Did you, um Did you see it yet? Yeah.
It's all bullshit.
Don't worry about it, heh.
DOUGLAS: Hey, where are you now? - I'm with my sponsor.
Worry about your party, bro.
I'm all good.
I swear.
I love you.
ELAINE [OVER PHONE.]
: Did you reach him? Uh, yeah.
I just talked to him.
He, uh, he says he's with his sponsor.
I know, he's lying.
I'm supposed to pick up my tux with Anne.
I'm gonna track him down.
I will call you back when I'm with him.
Where are you? I'm following a lead.
- [OVER PHONE.]
And Douglas? - Yeah? You are a good brother and a good son.
I'll call you.
Thanks for coming.
I'm having one of the worst days of my life and you're still the one person who can make me feel like everything's gonna be okay.
Even when it's not.
Come here, sugar.
WOMAN 1: Congrats, Georgia.
We're so happy for you.
[CHUCKLING.]
WOMAN 2: Amazing story.
Oh, hey, Susan.
I'm sure you're pretty upset over the whole Hammond suicide story.
- I'm really sorry - Hmm.
if it stepped on your Barrish piece.
But I had a source come forward and I just I had to run with it.
Of all the industries, looking the way you do porn, reality hosting, you chose journalism.
Why? You don't care about its history.
You have no regard for what we do or who's come before you.
Like you have no regard for the life on the other end of that piece.
You're not mad I ran that story you're just mad it cost you one.
Bitch.
You're gonna regret you ever posted this.
Oh, and, uh, Georgia never call a bitch a bitch.
Us bitches hate that.
Your boyfriend knew about it.
He had to approve it before I could post it.
I warned you this could happen.
It could get out.
But then you come to me and you tell me.
Why? - So you could tell me to stop it? - Oh, yeah.
That is exactly the kind of conflict of interest I cannot have in my life.
What are we, a newspaper or a gossip site? We're a dying institution.
People are gonna talk about newspapers the way we talk about rotary phones.
Did you give Georgia the story? No.
You asked me not to tell anyone.
Are you sleeping with her? [CHUCKLES.]
That Okay.
You are paranoid.
Is this what hanging out with Elaine Barrish does to you? Are you sleeping with her? I'm not gonna answer that question.
You just did.
[CHATTERING.]
- Yeah.
- Look, I screwed up.
I know.
I screwed up.
We have been together for two years.
I had to beg you to move in with me.
Friends ask if we're getting married, you say no without looking at me.
You say, "I don't believe in it and Alex failed at it twice.
That's why I picked him.
" Name one time that you've spent as much energy on something for us as you have on this Barrish piece.
Even now, I can't tell if you're more upset I slept with Georgia or that I gave her the story.
For a second I thought I was gonna get the "I'm sorry I hurt you" speech.
Let's be clear, I am definitely more upset that you stuck your dick in another woman than I am about the story.
You know that I'm sorry.
You don't make it easy.
You don't make it easy to love you.
It's not supposed to be easy, you asshole.
Easy is Georgia.
Easy is where you can spend the night while I'm moving out.
[BUD AND ELAINE CHUCKLING.]
I think we broke a couple of mattress springs.
- Oh, that was for sure top 10.
- Oh, not even close.
Unlike you, I'm out of practice.
How's T.
J.
Doing? I tried calling him but he won't take my calls.
Dougie's looking for him.
I don't know, Bud.
We can't just make him go to rehab.
We tried that twice.
And we can't give him money for another failed venture.
I don't know what to do.
I must be the highest ranking co-dependent in the country.
It was so much simpler when they were boys just you know, yelling at us about the Secret Service detail.
How come they weren't allowed to drive on the road like regular 16-year-olds.
- Yeah.
It was simpler.
Man, we had some good times.
Some fun times.
I'd like to propose to the president that he send you to Iran as a last-ditch effort to negotiate for these journalists.
Hakam may not go for it but it's worth a try.
I thought you'd never ask.
- Ha, ha.
What? - Well, I figured you'd come to me.
It's not like President Sinatra was lifting a GD finger.
Besides, I know Hakam, I know the players on the ground.
And the Iranian people love me.
They call me President Khoob.
That means "the good president.
" Is that what this was about? The "I missed you, sugar" and "You're still the foxiest piece of ass" it was just bullshit? - I meant every word of it.
I always do.
No.
You just wanted me to get Garcetti to send you to Iran so you could get back in the game? And I fell for it? I am the best person to get those journalists and you know it.
Shit.
I mean, you weren't pissed I wanted you to ask me, you were pissed I thought of it first.
I wasn't playing you.
You were playing me.
Did we sleep together because of politics? Sure.
But it was also about love.
It's always about both with us, baby.
That's our story.
Now, we were made for each other.
Now, we were made to fight for this country together and we're not done fighting, not by a long shot.
- You are crazy.
- I love you, sugar.
And if you think for a second I'm giving up on us then you don't know me and you never did.
We are done.
Do you hear me? Done! Asshole.
That's my girl.
[SIGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, God.
Excuse me.
Um [CLEARS THROAT.]
ALICE [OVER PHONE.]
: Hello, Madam Secretary.
Oh, did Douglas call? ALICE: No.
But I have a list of others, including Susan Berg who's tried you several times.
- Oh.
Get her back.
I'll hold.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you for seeing me.
I, uh I wanted to apologize.
I found out the story was my fault.
I inadvertently leaked it, heh.
I told my editor, who I'm sleeping with.
He told the other woman he's also sleeping with.
A fellow journalist.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Genuinely.
- I thought you'd appreciate the irony.
- May be the meanest thing you've said.
Oh, you haven't read my columns.
They were mean.
I may have read a few of your columns.
For years, I wrote about you being an affront to women because you stayed with your husband.
Like most, I believed it was because of your political ambitions.
Then, when I went to pack tonight it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I stayed because I loved him.
I know.
So why'd you finally leave? Because after 30 years, in that moment exhausted from the campaign, I finally had the strength to.
I never answer the question because there is no article no book that can explain the complexities of a single marriage.
I'm gonna give you a headline that should supplant the whirlwind currently surrounding my son.
We'll be postponing the engagement a few days.
Bud is going to Iran.
- The president is sending him? - The president hasn't agreed but he will.
I'm meeting him in an hour and I'm giving him a choice.
Either he sends my ex-husband or he accepts my resignation.
Now you've just heard that from a very high-level source at State.
- I wanna be on that plane.
- Oh, Miss Berg.
If it goes awry, it'll be background for my piece on you.
But if the current secretary of state sends her ex-husband to rescue a bunch of hostages in Iran and it works I want that story.
I need that story.
We'll be in touch.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS.]
Beautiful creatures, aren't they? Majestic, fearsome but still gentle.
They move slower than most animals but they travel just as far.
But that isn't what I love most about them.
They're a matriarchal society.
And when the males reach their mating age the females kick them the hell out of the herd.
[SUSAN CHUCKLES.]
Russ, it's me.
Okay, write this down exactly as I say it.
Sources at the State Department are confirming that Secretary of State Elaine Barrish will recommend to President Garcetti - Can you keep a secret, Clark? - That's my job, Madam Secretary.
I'm gonna run for president again.
And this time, I'm gonna win.
[ENGINE REVS.]
[English - US - SDH.]