Powerless (2017) s01e01 Episode Script

1 [train whistle blowing.]
[upbeat music.]
Just moved here for a new job.
Really excited.
How long have you lived in Charm City? Long enough to know it sucks.
I don't know.
I like it.
A little bigger than where I grew up, - but not that different.
- [evil laughter.]
- [crashing.]
- Except for that.
Citizens of Charm City, Feel the fire of Jack-O-Lantern.
[epic music.]
Are you guys seeing this? - [phone beeps.]
- Siri, push my meeting an hour.
[evil laughter.]
[evil laughter.]
[brakes screeching.]
[dings.]
- I know what you're thinking.
Yet another superhero battle.
[light music.]
Well, my name's Emily Locke and I grew up in what's known as a fly-over state.
Superheroes never stopped there.
They just flew over it.
I didn't have any powers, so I did what everybody else in my town did: finish school and got a soul-crushing job.
I felt unfulfilled.
Until one day, my dad reminded me that you don't need superpowers to accomplish great things.
What you do, in your own quiet way, can change people's lives for the better.
Right then and there, I decided to make a change: I got a job at a company that helps regular people like us feel safer in a world where this kind of stuff happens.
And now I might not even make it to my first day.
- [dings.]
- [epic music.]
Oh, my God, you're Crimson Fox.
[crashing.]
[car alarm chirps.]
Wow.
You don't see that every day.
Actually, you do.
You see it every day.
I'm still gonna take a photo.
[camera shutter clicks.]
[heroic music.]
[light music.]
male narrator: In a world where superheroes and villains battle above us each day, Wayne Security brings you products that give the power back to the powerless.
[maniacal laughter.]
narrator: Like our revolutionary Joker anti-venom.
Whoo.
[upbeat music.]
[elevator dings.]
- Emily Locke? - I'm sorry I'm late.
You'll never believe what happened to me.
My train literally went off the rails and the I'm gonna cut you off here because I'm assuming you lived.
Mr.
Wayne is waiting for you.
I just wanted to thank you again for this opportunity, Mr.
Wayne.
Please, call me Van.
Now, my cousin Bruce, he likes to be called Mr.
Wayne.
I call him B-Dubs.
We're very close.
And I just told him about you.
You talked to Bruce Wayne about me? No, I texted him.
He's hard to reach.
But look at his reply.
"Stop using my HBO GO password.
" No, that [chuckles.]
What a joker.
That's classic B-Dubs.
Look at the one right before it.
"Sounds good.
" Bruce Wayne thinks you "sounds good.
" Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.
Business at Wayne Security is down, and I am looking to you, as our new Director of R&D.
To come up with a big idea, all right? Something that I can show to Bruce, and he'll be like, "What?" And I'll be like, "Yeah.
" This is everything I have ever wanted.
I promise I will not let you down.
I know you won't.
There were more experienced candidates, but you stood out.
You are a people person.
Every one of your references said you're a great motivator and you actually care about the, uh uh the - People? - Yep! I do, that's why I wanted to work here.
- I want to help people.
- Love that.
As long as it's help plus kicking ass.
Because you need to whip this team into shape.
They're very talented, but they're just missing a you to motivate them.
I'm more of a big picture guy.
Look at this picture.
This picture's huge.
You know, I am no stranger to adversity.
My dad owned a flower shop, and when it was struggling, I I'm dying to hear the end of that story, but Ooh, look, it's my assistant's, uh, motioning to me.
What is it? Jackie, did you need something? - No.
- What do you want from me? Nothing.
[mouthing words.]
You are the worst.
[playful music.]
Uh, you said there's a phone call for me? [sighs.]
Bruce Wayne is on the phone for you.
Bruce Wayne? My cuz-bro.
Oh, no.
[chuckles.]
Come on.
Time to meet your team.
[upbeat music.]
I can't believe I'm actually working for Bruce Wayne.
Dot dot dot's cousin.
[quirky music.]
Teddy, this is Emily Locke, your new boss.
Nice to meet you.
What do you do here? I disrupt.
I alter the structure of expectations, make people see things in new ways.
For example, what do you think this is? - A desk? - But what if it wasn't? What if it was the opposite of a desk? I'm sorry, I'm still not exactly sure what you do.
I'm the Chief Design Officer.
But what if you weren't? Wait, are you firing me? Is she firing me? No, no.
I was just making a joke.
Good one.
Good one.
[exhales deeply.]
All right, come on.
Let me show you around.
This is the lab.
That's our 3-D printer.
Don't touch it.
That's liquid nitrogen.
Don't touch it.
That's Wendy, our lead software engineer.
Let me guess, don't touch her? Why would you touch her? Hey, guys.
Watch this.
That's Ron.
He's head of engineering and chief of childlike wonder.
Batter up! [all chuckle.]
That's amazing.
What is it? It's called the Wear Bag.
It protects against collateral damage from superhero battles.
We're talking about projectiles, falling debris, direct blows.
[chuckles.]
[groans.]
It's only good for one use.
I know.
That's for taking my muffin, Steve.
- Oh.
- That is an amazing product.
Right? LexCorp makes it.
We're trying to figure out how it works so we can make a cheap knock-off.
Welcome to Wayne Security.
Let's be better.
That's a permanent marker.
Well, good, because that's how I want us to be thinking.
Permanently.
Look, Wayne Security has stopped innovating.
Our follow up to last year's Joker Venom Antidote is the exact same thing in a slightly darker purple.
Mm, it's not slightly darker.
Okay, one is amethyst and one's sangria.
You don't get it.
She doesn't get it.
She's not getting it.
No, I get that they're different.
I just don't think anyone cares - about the color.
- [all react.]
Ooh, kitty's got claws.
Guys, we need to be innovating.
We need to push ourselves.
We can't just copy what LexCorp does.
Oh.
We need to Let's be better.
And do you know how we'll do that? Uh, let me guess.
By thinking outside the box? [chuckles.]
I want us to forget the box ever existed.
Ron, what are you working on? Literally the box.
Ron, I did not know that.
This morning, my train was blown off the track, which apparently happens every day around here.
Let's come up with something that solves things like that.
That's a brilliant idea.
Let me just summon a wizard.
Shazam! Ah, nothing.
Have you ever even made a product? Well, n no.
[all groaning.]
No, but I was sixth in my class at Wharton.
- Ron, is that a product? - Not a product.
No, I was President of the Young Leaders Group.
- Ron, surely that's a product.
- Ooh, guess again, Teddy.
Well, guess what? This company needs a big idea that you haven't delivered.
So I suggest you take my lead on this because I know what I'm doing.
Okay, Van hired me for a reason.
[laughter.]
Yeah, because the other people didn't work out.
- What other people? - You're the fifth new boss we've had this year.
And I refuse to let myself get attached.
I'm not getting hurt again.
But we'll do whatever you want until number six comes along.
Just to be clear, I'm not gonna do whatever you want, so [humming, strumming guitar.]
You fired four people before you got to me? Technically, they weren't fired.
One was crushed by rubble before he started.
I like to think of that as God firing him.
Don't you think you should have told me that in the interview? You want the real scoop? You want to pop the hood on this van and see what's inside? Yes.
Fine.
I was supposed to be promoted to the Gotham office last year.
But then Bob Lackey from WayneBev pulled the idea for Wayne Light Lime out of his ass and he took my spot! The only reason you're here is to come up with a big idea to get me out of this God-forsaken taint of a city.
And I will.
It just might take a little time.
I'm sure Wayne Light Lime didn't happen overnight.
The man left a lime in a beer, literally overnight.
Get me to Gotham, or somebody else will.
[dramatic music.]
If he thinks I'm scared, I'm not.
I'm going to get the team to come up with a big idea.
Yeah, they seem to love you.
[groans.]
Okay.
Maybe I came on a little strong.
To get the best out of people, you need to get to know them on a personal level.
Yeah, that line is underlined three times in your business book.
You left it in the kitchen.
- We need to bond as a unit.
- Mm, that line was circled.
A boss can't be afraid to look human.
That line was starred.
Is a star more or less than a circle? Stop going through my book.
A star is greater that a circle, but less than a heart.
Wayne Security? [growling.]
Citizens of Charm City, this is Jack-O-Lantern with a personal message for Crimson Fox.
You can run Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.
Bruce Wayne is on the phone for you.
Jackie, if you are lying to me, I'll put rocks in your pockets and I will throw you in the ocean.
You are gonna make a great father one day.
It's really Bruce.
Oh, my God.
How do I look? Like you don't understand how phones work.
[exhales deeply.]
B-Dubs, baby! You keeping Gotham warm for me? Yes! I can hold.
Hey, guys, wait up.
- [beeping.]
- What's that sound? It's a device I built that warns you when someone you don't like is approaching.
I call it the "Emily Alert.
" Well, that's very impressive.
And mean.
Look, I get it, you guys have had lots of bosses, but it's my job to make sure we deliver, and I'm trying to help us do that.
Look, we know you're trying, but you don't need to give us pep talks.
We've come up with hundreds of big ideas, and every one of them gets shot down by corporate - because they're too expensive.
- Or too dangerous.
Or you need a piece of the sun to power it, and that's impossible to get.
We're done getting our hopes up so they can get crushed.
Well, I'm not giving up.
I believe in this team.
And I'm not going anywhere.
Everyone, come out here.
I have some terrible news.
We've all been fired.
- Wait, what? - Wait, wait, wait.
By "we" you mean Emily, right? I did.
But also everyone else.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, I can't lose this job.
I take care of my sick grandma.
All: Aww.
- And I like nice things.
- [all groaning.]
I should have went before Ron.
Wait, why are they shutting us down? Bruce says we're obsolete.
Gone are the days of a man in a bandit mask stealing a ruby from a museum.
Now it's all just super villains trying to destroy the Earth and superheroes fighting one another for vaguely defined reasons.
Our products are powerless to stop that.
So he just gave up on us? I thought we were here to change the world.
[chuckles.]
Who told you that? It's the company motto.
Oh, that.
No, that came with the office.
This used to be a diaper company.
[solemn music.]
[sighs.]
There's gotta be something we can do.
[slurping.]
[quirky music.]
Why are you drinking champagne? Oh, because I'm so sad.
[chuckles.]
I'm sorry, I didn't want to say anything in front of the others, but I'm being absorbed into the Gotham office.
If I knew I could fail up, I would have done it years ago.
So, everyone loses their job, and you get exactly what you want? I don't know why I was so stressed about finding that big idea.
The big idea is, I'm a Wayne.
And a Wayne will always come out on top.
You know, I feel like I could commit vehicular manslaughter and I would get away with just a slap on the wrist.
Now, I haven't done that, but now I feel like I could.
How long do we have until it becomes official? [upbeat music.]
- Guys, I've got good news.
- [beeping.]
Damn, I've got to boost the radius on my Emily Alert.
So, I just spoke to Van, and we're not going to lose our jobs.
Wait, what? Guys, Emily said we're not losing our jobs! [all cheering.]
Technically, we haven't been shut down yet.
- There is still hope.
- Oh, never mind.
She was just trying to inspire us.
We're still fired.
[all groaning.]
Bruce Wayne wrote, "Winners are just losers that don't accept defeat.
" If we came op with a game-changing product, Bruce would have to reconsider.
Ooh, me, me, me, me, me, me! I mean, unless you guys want to go first.
I'm totally cool about it.
- All you.
- No, I don't want to do it.
Okay, now, we all know that the number one cause of workplace accidents is Superman crashing through office windows mid-fight.
That's a simple fact.
But now this glass is made of Kryptonite.
So if he flies close to it, his powers will weaken, and he'll safely bounce off.
Nice, and how does it work when the people inside need help from Superman? I had not taken that scenario into account.
[glass shattering.]
It's also not very strong against normal things.
Okay, I am not demoralized.
I'm just going to take a five real quick.
Hey, wait.
You haven't heard my idea yet.
So, you know how everyone wants to have sex with robots, right? - Go on.
- I'm listening.
"Problems are just opportunities dressed in work clothes.
" You're aware this means nothing, right? I give up.
I took this job to make a difference, and I didn't even get a chance.
Oh, honey, no one makes a difference.
I used to be just like you.
I think we're pretty different.
Oh, yeah? This me my first day of work here.
Oh, no.
I have that shirt.
Sorry, honey.
Welcome to the real world.
[zapping.]
We should probably go inside soon because there's an evil pumpkin flying around.
Citizens of Charm City, kiss your precious organic juice bar good-bye! [people shouting.]
"You don't need to have superpowers to accomplish great things.
Love, Dad.
" He gave this to me when I was little.
- I always keep it with me.
- That's so sweet.
And now you're smelling it like a creepy person.
Oh.
My dad ran a flower shop.
Everything he touched smelled like flowers.
I used to know when he was around before I even saw him.
I feel like I let him down.
- [evil laughter.]
- [zapping.]
I wish we knew that guy was around before we saw him.
Yeah, it would save a lot of lives.
[distant shouting, crashing.]
Oh, my God.
Maybe there's a way.
Guys, I have an idea.
Good, 'cause Wendy's sex robot is not market ready.
Guys, just hear me out.
Now, remember how I said I wanted us to invent something that would stop things like that train attack? Right, and then we laughed at you.
[laughter.]
Wendy, what if you could boost your Emily Alert - to have a wider radius? - It's maxed out.
You have to be in visual range.
But what if it worked on scent? We could totally rig it to use chemoreceptors.
And what if we used it to track super villains, and what if And what if who cares, because we're all fired? Look, I know you've all been beaten down in this job.
And you feel like what we do doesn't matter.
But I truly believe we can change lives, and I know deep down you still care.
[soft music.]
Can I pick the color? It's 7:00 a.
m.
What am I doing here? Van, this device we've created has just alerted me that Jack-O-Lantern is in the area, giving us enough time to get to safety.
It uses advanced chemoreceptors to pick up on Jack-O-Lantern's unique smell profile.
We call it the "Jack-O-Lert.
" It is sleek, stylish, and available in sangria.
I see.
I'm having a hard time figuring why you'd think I would care.
I already picked out a penthouse in Gotham City.
Well, the way I see it, if you don't take this to Bruce, maybe I will, and maybe I'll be the one sipping Wayne Light Lime in my Gotham office.
Okay, I take your point.
But none of this matters because your Jack-O-Lert detects jack squat.
[explosion.]
Citizens of Charm City, prepare to feel my powerful balls of fire! [explosions and screaming.]
Fine.
I'll take it to Bruce.
[suspenseful music.]
[elevator dings.]
Everybody, I have some terrible news.
I'm not gonna get to go to Gotham.
Tell them the other news.
I got a parking ticket.
We're not fired.
[all cheering.]
Wayne Security is staying open.
Yeah, Bruce loved the Jack-O-Lert.
He's putting it in beta, wherever that is.
So great.
Did he mention the color? - No.
- Damn it.
But he did say because I did such a good job inspiring all of you, he wants me to stay here to continue inspiring you.
I guess with great power comes living in a taint.
Emily [rousing music.]
I blame you.
I blame you.
[all cheering.]
You guys did it.
You should be really proud of yourselves.
We couldn't have done it without you.
No.
We got you a little something.
It's a bus pass.
It's a much safer alternative to the train.
A little Charm City insider tip.
You guys, thank you.
I didn't chip in.
I would not expect that.
To the R&D team.
- To Emily.
- All: To Emily.
This just in: Gotham City police report the Joker has been apprehended.
Batman used a new device that tracked him by his smell.
And now for a correction What a crazy coincidence.
Batman came up with his own Jack-O-Lert.
In midnight black.
Subtle.
Powerful.
Slimming.
I wish we worked for Batman.
I feel like he'd really get us.
Well, maybe someday we will.