Psych Webisodes (2006) s01e01 Episode Script
Golden Phantom
Psych Webisode
"Calling Lassie"
Detective Carlton Lassiter.
Good afternoon.
My name is Jim Stoneman.
And I'm working on behalf of the
american wicca furniture manufacturers
of america.
- The american wicca counsel?
- That's correct.
We are lobbyinger of lobbying
for the interests
of wicca furniture manufacturers
across the nation.
I'm sorry. Did you say the word "wicca"?
Yes, I did.
It's more of the cane really,
also we do work
for the rattan industry as well.
The american wicca and rattan counsel
- was literally to long on their own
- Yeah, I'm not interested.
Time?
23 seconds.
Wait for it
Beat that, buddy.
No problem.
You typed it?
All right.
It's Detective Carlton Lassiter.
Good afternoon, sir, ma'am.
I'm happy to inform you
that you're a finalist
- in our annual cruise
- But I didn't sign up for a
And as part of this marvelous getaway
your name is also being entered
our grand prize jar
featuring cash surprises
with more than 4,000 Dollars.
Listen, sport. I don't know
how you get this number
but you called the police department.
No, wait. There ist more.
As an early bird finalist
we save you a seat
in our anual celebrity black tie gala,
featuring the incomparable
Donald Wells.
- Don Wells?
- TV's Ginger from Gilligan's Island.
You will also be picked up in a
Time?
31 seconds.
- I'll have you know, Don Wells was married
- Whatever.
You'll have to come up with some genius stuff
to beat that, buddy.
- Really? Am I really?
- Yeah.
Hello, I
Son of a bitch.
- Hello?
- Lassie.
Spencer.
What the hell are you doing?
Hey, buddy. I just wanted to tell you that Gus
and I hanging out here in the chief's office,
prank calling you for our own amusement.
Yeah, those last two calls were us,
just thought you might wanna know.
Spencer.
Let me just start by asking
if you are even remotely able to conceive
of just how busy this place is right now.
I've got phones ringing off the hook,
I've got people bringing me evidence,
I've got fingerprints I got to look out,
and then I got you
calling me
to
go and
make fun of me.
Who knew that a simple half truth
could be so effective.
Time?
What do you want to do now?
- Church chicken.
- You know that's right.
Sync and Script by glumpf
for SubCentral
"Calling Lassie"
Detective Carlton Lassiter.
Good afternoon.
My name is Jim Stoneman.
And I'm working on behalf of the
american wicca furniture manufacturers
of america.
- The american wicca counsel?
- That's correct.
We are lobbyinger of lobbying
for the interests
of wicca furniture manufacturers
across the nation.
I'm sorry. Did you say the word "wicca"?
Yes, I did.
It's more of the cane really,
also we do work
for the rattan industry as well.
The american wicca and rattan counsel
- was literally to long on their own
- Yeah, I'm not interested.
Time?
23 seconds.
Wait for it
Beat that, buddy.
No problem.
You typed it?
All right.
It's Detective Carlton Lassiter.
Good afternoon, sir, ma'am.
I'm happy to inform you
that you're a finalist
- in our annual cruise
- But I didn't sign up for a
And as part of this marvelous getaway
your name is also being entered
our grand prize jar
featuring cash surprises
with more than 4,000 Dollars.
Listen, sport. I don't know
how you get this number
but you called the police department.
No, wait. There ist more.
As an early bird finalist
we save you a seat
in our anual celebrity black tie gala,
featuring the incomparable
Donald Wells.
- Don Wells?
- TV's Ginger from Gilligan's Island.
You will also be picked up in a
Time?
31 seconds.
- I'll have you know, Don Wells was married
- Whatever.
You'll have to come up with some genius stuff
to beat that, buddy.
- Really? Am I really?
- Yeah.
Hello, I
Son of a bitch.
- Hello?
- Lassie.
Spencer.
What the hell are you doing?
Hey, buddy. I just wanted to tell you that Gus
and I hanging out here in the chief's office,
prank calling you for our own amusement.
Yeah, those last two calls were us,
just thought you might wanna know.
Spencer.
Let me just start by asking
if you are even remotely able to conceive
of just how busy this place is right now.
I've got phones ringing off the hook,
I've got people bringing me evidence,
I've got fingerprints I got to look out,
and then I got you
calling me
to
go and
make fun of me.
Who knew that a simple half truth
could be so effective.
Time?
What do you want to do now?
- Church chicken.
- You know that's right.
Sync and Script by glumpf
for SubCentral