Red Rose (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Hark! How the bells ♪
Sweet silver bells ♪
All seem to say
"Throw cares away" ♪
Christmas is here ♪
Bringing good cheer ♪
Bye, Alyssa.
One seems to hear ♪
Words of good cheer ♪
From ev'rywhere ♪
Alyssa, a client called.
You'll have to get the bus
or book a taxi.
I'll be home just after you.
Love Mum.
Alyssa?
Mum?
Alyssa!
Mum?
Mum, come home, come home,
come home
Ding, dong, ding, dong ♪
That is their song ♪
Electra, music off.
Words of good cheer ♪
From ev'rywhere, filling the air ♪
Oh, how they pound ♪
Raising the sound ♪
Joyf'ly they ring ♪
While people sing ♪
Songs of good cheer ♪
Christmas is here. ♪
Electra, off, everything off!
Electra off, everything off!
Alyssa!
Mum?
I'm home!
Electra, lights on!
Electra, lights on!
Alyssa!
Did you get home yet?
Why is it freezing?
So it's the silent treatment, is it?
I wish I had a personal chauffeur
at your age,
but I made do with the bus.
Don't even think about trying
to scare me.
You're well loud.
Bonjour! Oh, Dawn.
Exams are over. We never have to do
French ever again.
How did you find it? Oh, my God,
I had no idea what I was doing.
You know that last question?
Yeah.
I just copied down
all the French off the back of that.
I haven't signed your shirt!
Oi-oi.
Space?
I'm going to sign yours, too.
Just because.
No more dicks, Roch!
No! Bog off!
No! NO!
No! No! No!
Watch out for the sheep shit!
Bonjour! Oh, don't.
I'm so over French.
Je voudrais a vodka, silver plate!
Bien, bien. Summer's going
to be about getting fucked
every single night.
It's going to be sick!
Every night?
I've got three jobs lined up, Roch.
I'm not going to have time
to do every night.
Yeah, and I've got a job
at my mum's tearooms.
What the actual fuck? Since when?
Roch, I told you.
And she said you could get a job
there, too, if you want.
Yeah, well, I've got a job already.
It's called looking after twins.
Oh, yeah.
Look, summer's going to go quick,
and then we'll be in college!
I felt left out!
THEY SQUEAL You little fucker!
Really, Noah, peekaboo at your age?
Why are you and Wren shit at this?
Hiya. Antony, the stealth assassin.
Can't believe you'd do that to us,
Antony.
I am shocked.
I'm shocked and appalled.
And a little bit excited?
Right. Where were we?
Getting inebriated, I believe.
I can't get no sleep ♪
I can't get no sleep ♪
Ooh-ooh-ooh! This way, madame!
Cheers, ma dears!
Much obliged.
Where did you get that? Ciaran.
Reflex check! Oh, do we have to?
Yeah.
Go on, give us some! And go!
Ugh, no. No! What? You've got to
hold it on your tongue like this.
Ha-ha, I win, I win!
Careful with that sherry!
Oh, my God. My aunt drinks that
at Christmas.
Look, I know it's not really
a summer drink,
but it's the only thing
in the booze cupboard
that wouldn't be missed.
Also, looking fit.
You want a taste, Wren?
Ew, no.
There you go!
Oh, my God.
What's he doing here?
Is that Taz? Yeah.
Oh, my God. He's coming over.
I invited him. He's all right.
All right, Taz? All right, Taz?
Greetings, all.
So this is up moors?
Never been? Can't say I'm shocked.
I bet the only thing that shocks you
is a cattle prod.
Um, so I'm guessing
it'll be more of the same
at Becky Fox's this Friday.
You're going to Becky Fox's party?
No, but I thought you lot might be,
so
Nah, I'm not interested.
I've been invited.
You what?!
I got an invite, too.
Yeah, ditto.
Why didn't you say anything?
Well, cos I knew you had
the twins this weekend, so
Well, YOU could get me an invite.
Taz, I'm going to add you
to our group.
Saves copying and pasting.
I've been invited to join
the Dickheads group.
Is that you?!
Yeah. Roch christened us that.
So how did everyone's exams go?
Oh, shut up!
You pick your moment, didn't you?
Don't pull on that thread, Taz.
You know, I think I'm just going
to apply to Love Island instead.
If you're looking for devotion ♪
Talk to me ♪
Come with your heart
in your hand ♪
Hey, Becky.
Because my love is guaranteed ♪
So, baby, if you want me ♪
Becky.
Hey, Wren.
Is it all right if Roche comes
on Friday, too?
It is a ten quid door charge.
And I know that you don't
It's dress to impress.
Great.
Can Taz come, too?
Don't want to leave anyone out.
Erm
Yeah, fine.
Right.
Well, Taz has got me tenner!
Do I? Do I?!
Go on.
It's going to be well good.
Cheers, Roche. Yeah, well done.
Thanks.
Dress to impress?
Yeah, I'll lend you summat.
Yeah, I'm not
a fucking charity case.
I'll borrow summat, Wren.
You got anything short?
I want to show off my thighs.
No-one wants to see those
chicken legs. Shut up.
Rhythm is a dancer ♪
It's a soul's companion ♪
You can feel it everywhere ♪
Lift your hands and voices ♪
Free your mind and join us ♪
You can feel it in the air ♪
Oh-oh, it's a passion ♪
Oh-oh, you can feel it in the air ♪
Oh-oh, it's a passion ♪
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
Rhythm is a dancer ♪
It's a soul's companion ♪
You can feel it everywhere ♪
Lift your hands and voices ♪
Free your mind and join us ♪
You can feel it in the air ♪
Oh-oh, it's a passion ♪
Oh-oh, you can feel it in the air ♪
Oh-oh, it's a passion ♪
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
Rhythm is a dancer ♪
It's a soul's companion ♪
You can feel it everywhere ♪
Woo!
Lift your hands and voices ♪
Free your mind and join us ♪
You can feel it in the air ♪
Oh-oh, it's a passion ♪
Oh-oh, you can feel it in the air ♪
Wanna dance?
I need a piss.
Oi, Wren, come here!
Don't miss this song!
Rhythm, rhythm is a dancer ♪
Rhythm, you can feel it,
you can feel it ♪
Rhythm, rhythm is a dancer. ♪
Don't put it there, you'll ruin it!
No!
You've ruined it! No!
Rochelle, Rochelle, Rochelle,
can you take us into town?
Please can we go into town?
Please, please, please! Whoa!
Morning voices,
please, morning voices.
Please, please, please!
Please, please, please.
Morning, sunshine.
How does it feel
to be free of exams?
Feels like a hangover.
Well, it's done now.
I'm proud of you.
And I know your mum would have been.
Come sit down, please. Eat this.
I don't suppose you managed
to rearrange your schedule.
I'm not being stuck with the twins
all afternoon.
No offence, girls.
I need my own space too, you know.
You can write that down.
Busy, eh? What you got planned?
Stuff.
Dad, do you still hang out
with your mates from school?
Not much. Why?
Everyone's just busy this summer.
And I can't even get a job
cos of the twins.
I'm just missing out.
I've got a potential job lined up.
Can you pick them up from school
at three?
Yeah, sure.
All right.
We're running low on, erm
I'll get some on the way back.
That's a good girl.
You know you can invite your mates
around here?
Yeah, no. Thanks, though.
Oooh! What you get?
You got me one? Yeah.
It was actually from Taz.
Thanks, Taz!
Well done, Taz!
Oh, my God.
You cannot beat a pastie.
It's Jaya Mahajan.
Oh, hiya. Hi, Jaya.
Hey, you guuuuys!
Goonies never say die.
You going to Becky Fox's party?
I am. I got an invite.
Pity's a powerful thing.
Well, I might be with me older mates
in Manchester.
Oh, yeah?
Sure you will, Jaya.
Well, send our best
to your "older mates".
See you later, Jaya.
See you later, Jaya. Bye.
The only mates she's got are pigeons
and homeless people.
Roch, don't be tight.
You're better than that.
IS she better than that, though?
Ooh! Personally,
I wouldn't have that!
Shade from nowhere!
Er, do one, Noah!
Right, that's enough.
Come on, then.
I just saved us
from a half-hour chat about her
"older mates in Manchester".
Maybe she DOES have older mates.
Exactly.
Scum bitch alert.
Can anyone smell scrote?
Oh, wait. It's Wren.
That explains it.
Can we just not?
I'd rather stand with a scrote
than with a slaggy scrubber.
Who are you calling a scrubber?
If anyone's a scrubber, it's Wren.
She's used to being on her knees.
You know what?
Do one, before I kick your head in.
What would we actually do
if they kicked off?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't want to. That's why
you've got to have crazy eyes.
Crazy always wins.
No, it doesn't.
How about - fabulous always wins?
Oh, I want to see that world,
Anthony.
Oi, stop pushing.
Hey, Roche?
Oi, Noah, stop tripping me up.
Roche?
You coming?
Yeah, erm
I forgot, I'm on twin duty, so
I'll see yous later?
See you later. See you later,
Roche. Au revoir. Yeah, whatever.
Oi! Love ya. Message me.
No, you message me.
Huh?
What the fuck's it on about?
So just two carrot cake? Please.
Why are you both looking at me like
creepy weirdos?
Forgive me for being proud
of my little girl starting a job.
What, that you two gave me?
No. Stop grooming her.
You'll get hair on the iced fingers.
Who's "Him"?
Have you had the talk, Rachel?
Yes, we have.
Who's "Him", and when do we meet?
It don't matter. Leave it.
Mum, is it all right if
I leave early tonight, please?
Well, I trust you to be sensible.
And all I will say is,
if "Him" is Noah Mum!
you could do a lot worse.
What? I'm just saying.
Stop being gross, she don't want
to hear her mum talk about that.
Exactly.
She's growing up, her.
Yeah, I've noticed.
Whoa, it's me. It's me. Calm.
Don't creep up on me like that.
I'm sorry.
Just trying to have
trying to have a joke with you.
Stupid. Sorry.
Anyway, how were your exams?
All right.
Well, I hope you're more verbose
in your English exam.
Didn't think I knew that word,
did you? Mm.
We don't have to always meet here,
you know, in this
We could just meet at your house.
It's easy.
You haven't told your mum,
though, have you? No.
It's all right, I don't blame you.
You are going to have to tell her
eventually
if you want to stop meeting
in a graveyard.
Don't push me. I'm not pushing you.
I just, you know
I'll do it in my own time.
Wren
I'm sorry!
Atencion!
I've been invited to the ball
because I am so popular.
I suppose I can get you an invite
and maybe a new dress.
Oi-oi-oi!
After everything I've done for you,
standing up for you,
giving you my kidney,
I suppose you can do one,
you mother bleepingly
bleeping bleep!
Oh, not again.
Don't worry, girls.
We know the drill.
We know the drill.
Bagsie the big candle.
Bitches.
Rose red, rose red,
will these things from out my head.
Rose red, rose red,
will these things from out my head.
Rose red, rose red,
will these things from out my head.
Rochelle! Rochelle!
Rochelle, come down!
Roch, we've got gifts for you!
Two gifts!
Leave a message
if you're not a twat!
Hey, why did you take that?
Because they're both the exact same.
No, they're not.
Yes, they are. I put sugar in it!
Well, that makes me want it more.
So now Hey!
Give it back. We switched.
No, we can't. No!
Stop!
Please, just
Oh, God.
It's amazing.
Silvery!
So silvery!
Can I wear this to school?
Who got you that?
It was a fairy godmother.
Did they leave us anything?
I'm the one who's off to the ball.
Claire, get your grubby hands
off it.
Can WE come?
Yeah, one day.
Beware ♪
Of his promise ♪
Be sure ♪
Of what you say ♪
So he paints a pretty picture ♪
And he tells you
that he needs you ♪
Do they look like
they're a drain on society?
No.
OK.
Hiya!
Hi. Roch!
Oh, you made it!
No! No!
Roch, I hate it when you do that,
it feels gross!
Feel what you've got to feel.
Don't do that, don't do that!
Who's winning? I think Ant has
No, don't you dare.
I don't care
cos I've got new shoes.
They're sick! Yeah, I know.
I'm not being funny,
but how did you afford those?
I inherited them.
That's a weird family heirloom.
And what with the goose-stepping,
you look like a Nazi.
Yeah, but
like a trendy Nazi.
Do they look like they want
to speak to the manager?
Yes.
Is it Anne?
Take a shot.
Are you OK, Roch?
Yeah.
Why wouldn't I be?
that ghoul got away
You cheeky arsehole
Are you pissed off at me
or summat?
Sorry.
Is this about me and Noah?
All right, who's put 50p
Cos I don't even know
what we are yet
but it's not going to affect us,
you know?
What? She likes it.
Well, you have MY blessing.
In fact
Introducing Hollywood's hottest
new couple
Go on. Kiss.
Is this a kissing party?
What is going on?
Just speeding things up.
Well, no-one asked you to.
Fine.
You a pimp now or summat?
I prefer matchmaker.
Well, job's a job.
OK, back to the non-weirdness.
Yummy, yummy, yummy!
Yeah, I spoke too soon.
This is YOUR fault.
He'll earn his keep.
Be careful, though, please.
Look after each other.
What happened to the stream?
I don't know. Climate change.
I could live in the woods.
I hate the woods.
You wouldn't last ten minutes
out here alone.
Why are we doing this?
It's not dark.
Well, fires aren't just for light.
They reveal things.
What, what do they reveal?
What the fuck?
Roch.
What was that on your phone?
Nowt, come on.
Nowt's here.
Are you taking the piss?
Oh
No, you know what
Maybe something sweet will help.
Oh, soz, only one flapjack left.
That's OK.
Rochelle, are you OK?
I can't find the sticker book.
Bali?
Oh, do UK instead.
Then I can come too.
And go London,
see Buckingham Palace.
You know, all that jazz.
The royals haven't held
the same allure for me
since Lady Diana left the scene.
We weren't even born.
Time means nothing for her.
Want to go in t'town when I'm free?
I thought we were.
After Wren's finished work -
she texted us.
I didn't get an invite.
Did she block me?
I knew something like this'd happen.
What you on about?
It don't take a genius to see
you and Wren aren't good.
What's wrong?
Everything's fine.
I'm not so sure.
Speak to her, but not on your phone,
in person.
It's fine. We sorted it.
You think that, but does Wren?
Oh, sort it out.
I know you can.
Come on.
Fucking hell.
How did YOU deal with this shit
every day?
Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me, Roch.
Just saw Ash.
Is there owt you want to say to me
about the other night?
It's a weird way to give
your blessing.
Yeah.
Well, it's weird you've messaged
everyone and not me.
Have you blocked me?
I've not blocked you, Roch.
Well, prove it.
What have I done wrong?
Just, you've been ignoring
I've just showed you that I've not.
So you're not going
to apologise, then?
For what?
Commanding to me to kiss Noah
in front of everyone like a weirdo.
Acting like some kind of influencer.
Oh, you think you are
so fucking great.
God, why is everything
so dramatic with you?
It's pissing me off!
I'd check your rage issues,
if were you, Wren.
Maybe you want to stop
hanging out with your dad.
Don't want to end up like him.
Let's not bring parents into this.
There's plenty I could say.
Roch.
Look. I No, I'm
Fuck.
Um, cherry, banana,
strawberry, sprinkles.
Thanks. Come on, please.
Come on, please.
Is everything all right?
Yeah. It's good to have a break.
Even a small one.
Well, they're no trouble at all.
They, they're great kids.
Wren's been seeing Rick.
Sorry.
I just
I thought you should know.
Thank you.
You're, you're a good friend.
Mm.
I don't want
to wear this. It's shite.
Oi, you, language!
YOU say it all the time.
You heard this, Gloria?
Gloria.
Oh, sorry.
Someone just walked over my grave.
What's wrong?
Your daughter's swearing again.
Language!
Come here, you.
Let me wash that mouth out!
What are you like?
What am I going to do with you?
It's his fault, innit?
"Him", it's Rick.
It's your dad, innit?
And how long's this been going on?
About a month.
Legally, he's not allowed to see
you, I could have him arrested.
Mum, he is actually better now.
Wren, he's never better.
After what he did.
He upset a lot of people, Wren,
a lot of dangerous people.
And I'm reminded to watch my back.
Always one step away from
God, "much better now"?
Mum, look, I'm sorry.
I know, but You don't understand.
Yes, I do.
I do understand cos I hate it
when you say that No, you don't.
Yes, I do!
He ruined our lives.
And just when we get back on track,
you put it all in danger.
You're not to see him again.
Understood?
I've a good mind to have you with me
all summer.
But I won't.
Because that would be petty.
You can still see your mates.
They can come round here,
you're not to leave the house.
Oh, I can't believe Roch.
She did the right thing.
Oh, yeah, she only told you because
she's on the verge of a breakdown.
Rochelle is a concerned friend,
which is more than I can say
for you.
Roch is going through a lot.
She's been through hell.
And we know that
better than anyone else.
And you need to apologise to her.
Send her a message - I don't care
if you don't mean it right now.
When your head's not up your arse,
you will.
And you'll thank me.
Rochelle!
Get out!
Want to go breakfast table?
Yeah. Yeah.
Hiya, love. How can we help?
Yeah.
Uh
Can I get some cereal?
Yeah. Yeah. No problem.
Yeah, I didn't get any with my box.
You all right, love?
I'm fine.
I'm not crying about that.
Mum? And where do you think
you're going?
Look, Rochelle's just sent me
this message.
Please, can I go
to Becky Fox's party?
Cos we're going to sort stuff out.
Fine.
But the only reason I'm letting you
is you're doing a good thing,
and I'm not going to be punitive.
You look great.
I have to go out this evening, OK?
But I'm going to be back
as soon as possible.
I mean, when I was your age,
I used to stay in the house
on my own all the time.
Now, remember, you're not
to let anyone in the house
except me or Dad, OK?
OK. Come here.
Nora, you're in charge of Clare.
Clare, you're in charge of Nora.
Now, be good.
Never have I ever
masturbated at school.
Well, well, well.
Why aren't you shocked at Noah?!
I'm not surprised by THAT.
So go on, dirty knickers.
Who flooded your basement?
Let me guess. Geography.
We're on about me, not you.
What are you playing?
Oh, it's a Never Have I Ever
Oh, yeah, I've heard of it.
Go on, then.
Never have I ever been bored
by an "I have never" response.
That's bloody clever, that.
I'm a Barbie girl
in the Barbie world ♪
Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪
Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪
I'm a Barbie girl ♪
In the Barbie world ♪
Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪
Rochelle.
You look fantastic!
Cheers.
It was a bit weird,
you know,
you didn't invite me at first,
and then you sent me Red Rose.
What's Red Rose?
Help yourself to some drinks.
Music, music, music!
When the truth is found ♪
To be lies ♪
And all the joy ♪
Hey, Wren.
Within you dies ♪
Don't you want,
don't, don't, don't ♪
You want somebody ♪
Don't you want ♪
Don't you want, want ♪
Don't you want somebody to love? ♪
Don't you need somebody to love? ♪
Wouldn't you love
somebody to love? ♪
You better find somebody to love ♪
Don't you want,
don't you want some ♪
Don't you want, don't you want ♪
Don't you want,
don't, don't you want some ♪
Don't you want, don't you want ♪
Don't you want somebody to love? ♪
Wouldn't you love
somebody to love? ♪
You better find somebody to love ♪
Don't you want ♪
Don't you want, want ♪
Don't you want
Don't you want ♪
Roch. Don't worry, love. No.
I'll look after them.
Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪
Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪
Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪
Oooh, oooh ♪
Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪
Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪
Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪
Oooh, oooh ♪
I'm a Barbie girl ♪
In the Barbie world ♪
Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪
You can brush my hair,
undress me everywhere ♪