Rhoda (1974) s01e01 Episode Script

- MY NAME IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FEL RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER LIKING THAT LIKED ME BACK WAS FOOD.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD, AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
[DOOR BUZZER.]
- WHO IS IT? - UH, THIS IS CARLTON.
YOU KNOW, YOUR DOORMAN? - YES, I RECOGNIZE YOUR SLUR.
- THERE'S A LADY DOWN HERE, SAYS SHE'S YOUR SISTER, BUT YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HER.
- DON'T REMIND ME.
SEND HER UP.
- OK, BUT I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE.
- RHODA? - YEAH? - RHODA, I'M OVER HERE.
- OH, THERE YOU ARE! [BOTH TALKING AT ONCE.]
- NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - NO, IT'S NOT HEAVY.
- OH, BRENDA.
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
WHAT A--OH, IT'S A GREAT PLACE.
OH, HEY, WHY DID YOU DO ALL THIS? YOU MADE A SIGN.
BALLOONS, EVERYTHING.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE REALLY HERE.
- I KNOW.
I KNOW.
- GOD, YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS.
- HA HA HA.
SO, TELL ME EVERYTHING.
I WANT TO HEAR IT ALL.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE? - OH, YOU KNOW, THE SAME THINGS.
MOTHER PROBLEM, WEIGH PROBLEM, DATE PROBLEM.
- THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB PROBLEM.
- HEY! THAT'S RIGHT.
I GOT PROMOTED AT THE BANK.
NOW, I'M A TELLER.
- HEY, THERE YA GO.
THAT'S TERRIFIC, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
- AND THE BEST THING ABOU BEING A BANK TELLER IS THA YOUR LEGS DON'T SHOW.
- BRENDA, WHY DO I GE THIS FEELING I'M LOOKING IN AN OLD MIRROR? OH.
TAKE IT FROM ONE WHO WEN THROUGH IT AND SURVIVED.
THINGS ARE GONNA GET BETTER.
- YEAH? - OH, I PROMISE.
- SO, SO TELL ME.
WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE? - OH, LET'S SEE.
WHERE TO START? UMNOTHING.
- YEAH, I WOULDN'T MIND DOING NOTHING IF I LOOKED AS THIN AS YOU DOING IT.
- THANKS, BUT THIS DOES NOT COME EASY.
I MEAN, BRENDA, ONE BITE OF A SARA LEE ANYTHING, I INFLATE LIKE A RUBBER RAFT.
- SARA LEE.
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THEIR FROZEN CHEESECAKE? - AN OLD FRIEND.
- HEY, COME ON, I'LL SHOW YA AROUND THE REST OF MY PLACE.
IT'LL TAKE OUR MINDS OFF FOOD.
THIS IS MY KITCHEN.
- OH, HA HA.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- WHO IS IT? - IT'S ONLY ME.
- JUST A MINUTE.
ARE YOU READY FOR MOM? - YEAH, SURE.
I MEAN, IT SHOULD BE INTERESTING.
I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED MA AND JET LAG AT THE SAME TIME.
- OK, HERE WE GO.
- RHODA.
AH.
- HOW YA DOING? - AH.
SO, HOW COME YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BRA? - MA, I'M 33 YEARS OLD.
- ALL THE MORE REASON.
IF YOU WERE YOU 10, YOU WOULDN'T NEED ONE.
BRENDA, I'M VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, BUT THERE'S A DRUNK SLEEPING IN YOUR LOBBY.
YOU OUGHT TO TELL THE DOORMAN.
- THAT IS THE DOORMAN.
- WELL, ANYWAY, IT'S NICE TO BE WITH MY TWO GIRLS, RHODA FAY AND BRENDA FAY.
- THAT'S NICE.
YOU KNOW, MA? I ALWAYS WONDERED, IF YOU LIKED THE NAME FAY SO MUCH, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUS NAME ONE OF US FAY? - I DIDN'T LIKE IT THAT MUCH.
LISTEN, I KNOW YOU HAVE A LO OF THINGS TO DO, SO YOU CAN SEE THE FAMILY AT YOUR CONVENIENCE.
- WELL - 6:30 TOMORROW.
- MA, GEE, TOMORROW-- [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
- LISTEN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER NOW.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT.
JUST LET ME KNOW IN ENOUGH TIME TO CANCEL THE CATERERS.
- RHODA, RHODA, IT'S SOME GUY FOR YOU.
- YEAH? WHO KNOWS I'M HERE? HELLO? YES, IT IS.
WHO'S THIS? STEPHEN? I KNOW A LOT STEPHENS.
STEPHEN WHO? STEPHEN SCHLOSSBERG? I KNOW A LOT OF STEPHEN SCHLOSSBERGS.
THIS GIVES YOU SOME IDEA OF THE KIND OF LIFE I'VE HAD.
STEPHEN, WHERE DID YOU GET MY NUMBER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL? I'M SORRY, STEPHEN, I CANNOT GO OUT WITH YOU.
NO.
NO, I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE 6'2".
UM, STEPHEN, I CAN'T GO OU WITH YOU UNLESS YOU TELL ME EXACTLY WHO IT WAS THA GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER.
- YOU'LL LIKE HIM.
HE'S GOT LONG HAIR.
AND THIS TIME, DON'T BE SO CHOOSY.
IF I WAS AS CHOOSY AS YOU, YOU'D ONLY BE 3 YEARS OLD NOW.
HELLO, STEPHEN? LISTEN, IF YOU'D LIKE TO STAY OUT 'TIL 1 OR 2 SHOWING MY DAUGHTER A GOOD TIME, IT'S OK.
YEAH, WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING INTO THE OFFICE A LITTLE LATE.
NO, I'M SURE MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T DOCK YOU.
HE'LL BE HERE AT 7:30.
- MM-HMM.
YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T GO TO ACAPULCO ON MY VACATION.
BY COMING HERE, I SAVED YOU STEPHEN SCHLOSSBERG'S AIR FARE.
- THAT'S AMAZING.
DO YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING ON MAKEUP FOR AN HOUR AND YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE ANY MAKEUP ON? - YEAH, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
IT'S A NATURAL LOOK.
THE MORE YOU PUT ON, THE MORE NATURAL YOU LOOK.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO STOP? - WELL, WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE ALICE COOPER, YOU WENT TOO FAR.
THERE.
I FEEL I OUGHT TO SIGN THIS OR SOMETHING.
SO, BREN, YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE OK TONIGHT? - SURE, I BABYSI EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT.
- YEAH? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE A DATE? - SO FAR, THA PROBLEM HASN'T COME UP.
- OH, BRENDA, COME ON.
BELIEVE ME, IT'S ALL GONNA WORK OUT.
NOW, LISTEN, TELL ME, WHERE ARE YOU BABYSITTING TONIGHT? MAYBE STEPHEN AND I CAN GIVE YOU A LIFT.
- I DON'T NEED IT.
THE FATHER BRINGS THE KID OVER HERE.
- OH.
- AND WHAT 'TIL YOU MEET HIM.
- REALLY SEXY.
- YEAH? - HE'S THE KIND OF GUY--YOU KNOW, UNDER HIS SUIT, THERE'S THIS GREAT CHEST WITH A MEDALLION ON IT.
I'VE BEEN TELLING HIM A LOT ABOUT YOU.
I THINK HE'D GO OUT WITH YOU.
- THANKS A LOT FOR THE OFFER.
I APPRECIATE IT, BREN, BUT I DRAW THE LINE.
MARRIED GUYS WITH MEDALLIONS.
DOUBLE LINE FOR MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.
- HEY, HE'S DIVORCED.
- NO LINE.
- I THINK YOU'LL LIKE HIM.
HE'S REALLY NICE.
GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, GENTLE, SENSITIVE.
- YEAH? WHAT DOES HE DO? - HE DEMOLISHES BUILDINGS.
HE OWNS A WRECKING COMPANY.
- GOOD FOR HIM.
I GUESS HE LOOKS AT NEW YORK AS ONE BIG JOB.
THANKS A LOT, KID, BU I ALREADY HAVE A DATE.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- OH.
AT LEAST SCHLOSSBERG IS PUNCTUAL.
- STEVE? - NAH.
THIS IS DONNIE.
HE'S FOR ME.
HEY, DON.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- OH.
STEVE.
- NO.
- OH.
- HEY, DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME.
NOW, YOU'VE GOT TO FACE UP TO THIS, DONNIE.
YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD TO NEED A BABYSITTER.
- I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.
- NOW, LOOK.
I'M GOING OUT TONIGHT, AND I WANT TO HAVE A GREAT TIME.
NOW, IF I'M WORRIED ABOU WHAT YOU'RE DOING EVERY SINGLE MINUTE, I WON'T BE HAVING A GREAT TIME, WILL I? YOU UNDERSTAND? - I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.
- OH.
TALK TO HIM, WILL YA? - HEY, DONNIE, THA "SESAME STREET.
" IT'S A REALLY GREA SHOW, ISN'T IT? - HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK DOWN TO HIM.
- WHADDAYA THINK OF "MEET THE PRESS," DON? I GOTTA TELL YA SOMETHING.
YOU NEED A BABYSITTER, AND YOU GOT NO CHOICE.
- THAT'S THE WAY TO TALK TO HIM.
HELLO, LINDA? YEAH, LISTEN, I'M ON MY WAY OVER THERE NOW, AND WE'RE LATE, SO WHY DON'T YOU MEE ME DOWN IN THE STREET? THAT'S SILLY.
WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU DOWN IN THE STREET? UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.
OK, I'LL MEET YOU IN THE LOBBY.
THE LOBBY, TOO? - ISN'T HE, UH-- - YES, BRENDA, HE IS.
THAT IS AN EXCITING MAN.
THAT'S A VERY EXCITING MAN THERE ON THE PHONE.
I WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM.
- YOU WANT ME TO FIX YOU UP? - BRENDA, LIST--IF I WANTED TO GO OUT WITH HIM, I WOULD JUST ASK HIM MYSELF.
- WOW.
- GOOD CHOICE OF WORD.
- OK, OK.
HELLO.
- HI.
I'M, UH, BRENDA'S SISTER, RHODA.
JUST VISITING HERE.
I'M FROM MINNEAPOLIS.
- OH, YEAH, I COULD TELL FROM YOUR ACCENT.
- HA HA.
YOU'VE GO A GOOD EAR, THERE.
I MEAN, MOST PEOPLE THINK I'M FROM SAINT PAUL.
AHH.
YOU WANNA GO OUT SOMETIME? - UH, SURE.
- WOW.
- UH, THE KNICKS ARE BACK IN TOWN TOMORROW.
YOU WANNA GO? - TOMORROW? - YEAH.
- UH, SURE, YEAH.
TOMORROW IS PERFECT.
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TOMORROW.
TELL MA TO CANCEL THE CATERERS.
- GREAT.
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7.
- GOOD.
- OK, DONNIE, I'LL SEE YA LATER.
AND LISTEN, IF YOU HAVE TO GO, UH, BE SURE YOU LIF UP THE SEAT.
- THANK YOU.
- UH, HEY, UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? - JOE.
- OK.
- WOW.
YOU ARE FANTASTIC.
I AM REALLY GONNA LEARN A LOT FROM YOU.
- BRENDA, I MEAN, I, RHODA MORGENSTERN, JUST ASKED THIS TERRIFIC GUY OUT, AND, UH, HE SAID "SURE.
" OH, I THANK YOU, "MS.
MAGAZINE.
" I NEVER COULD HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.
WHOO! - JOE, I HAD THE GREATEST TIME.
- WELL, ME, TOO.
I MEAN, I HAVEN' FELT THIS WAY-- - YEAH.
ME, TOO.
- ME, TOO.
- I MEAN, I GUESS WE JUST SORT OF-- - WE SURE DID.
- YEAH.
- AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN, UM-- - I KNOW.
- LOOK.
SINCE YOU ASKED ME OUT FIRST, I WANTED TO ASK YOU THIS BEFORE YOU BEAT ME TO IT.
- YEAH? - HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA BE IN TOWN? - 12 MORE DAYS, WHICH GIVES US A LOT OF TIME TO SEE EACH OTHER, IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO OUT WITH ME.
- YOU DID IT AGAIN.
YOU BEAT ME TO IT.
HA HA HA.
- SORRY.
- OK, I'LL CALL YA TOMORROW AND WE'LL SET IT UP.
ALL RIGHT? - GREAT, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- I FORGOT MY KID.
- HELLO, ROY? YEAH, THIS IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
YEAH, ROY, THE REASON I'M NOT AT WORK THIS MORNING IS BECAUSE I'M STILL IN NEW YORK.
I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE COLD.
YEAH, AND I'M ALL STOPPED UP.
NOW, THE DOCTOR SAID IF I FLY, WITH THE CHANGE IN CABIN PRESSURE, SOMETHING VERY EMBARRASSING COULD HAPPEN.
THAT'S RIGHT, ROY.
[SNIFF.]
NEVER TOO SICK TO MAKE A JOKE.
BYE-BYE.
YEAH.
OH, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN.
BUT I DON'T REALLY MEAN IT, BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT MYSELF ANOTHER WEEK IN NEW YORK.
- HEY! - HA HA HA.
I KNOW, WAIT 'TIL I TELL JOE, BRENDA.
- OH, THAT'S GREAT.
- HEY, LISTEN, HOW DID I SOUND? WAS I NASAL ENOUGH? - ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU SOUNDED SO REAL I THINK I'M CATCHING IT.
- IT WAS THE ROBE, KID.
REALLY.
I COULD NEVER HAVE SOUNDED THAT SICK WITHOUT THE FEEL OF FLANNEL.
[DOOR BUZZER.]
- YEAH? - UH, YEAH, THIS IS CARLTON, YOUR DOORMAN.
I'VE GOT A SHORT, RED-HEADED WOMAN DOWN HERE, SAYS SHE'S YOUR MOTHER.
SH--SHOULD I SEND HER UP? - IT'S MA.
WHADDAYA THINK? - SEND HER UP.
IT'LL BE NICE TO SEE HER.
- SURE, NICE FOR YOU.
YOU'RE GOING OUT.
I GUESS YA BETTER SEND HER UP.
- I CAN'T FIND HER.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- NEVER MIND.
SHE FOUND US.
- OH, RHODA, I'M SO GLAD I CAUGH YOU BEFORE YOU LEF FOR THE AIRPORT.
YOU SOUNDED SO SAD ON THE PHONE LAST NIGHT.
I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE SOMETHING WRONG.
YOU'RE NOT USUALLY THAT SAD WHEN YOU SAY GOOD-BYE TO ME.
- OH, MA.
WELL, I'M NOT SAD ANYMORE, BECAUSE I'M STAYING ANOTHER WEEK IN NEW YORK.
- OH, GOOD.
- YEAH.
- WELL, MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER AGAIN, THEN.
TWICE WOULD BE NICE.
- GOOD, MA.
SURE WE'LL DO IT.
- WHEN? - OH, MA, LET'S JUST LEAVE I LOOSE, HUH? I MEAN, WE'LL SET I UP LATER, I PROMISE.
I'M KINDA LATE RIGHT NOW.
I'M SORT OF IN A HURRY.
THERE'S SOMEONE I GOTTA SEE.
BYE.
- AH.
IT'S NICE HAVING HER HERE.
WHO IS SHE SEEING? - A FRIEND.
- NOT THAT GUY WITH THE FUNNY NAME, IS IT? - JOE? - YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.
IT'S NOT GOOD FOR HER TO SEE THE SAME MAN NIGHT AFTER NIGH AFTER NIGHT.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU AND DAD? - IT'S NOT GOOD.
SHE SHOULD BE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.
- OH, MA.
YOU COMPLAIN WHEN SHE'S SEEING ONE GUY, YOU COMPLAIN WHEN SHE'S SEEING A LOT OF GUYS, YOU COMPLAIN WHEN SHE'S NO SEEING ANY GUYS.
THERE'S JUST NO PLEASING YOU.
- WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE THIS? - LIKE WHAT? - LIKE WE WEREEQUAL? YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME THE WAY YOU USED TO.
IT'S THESE TWO WEEKS WITH RHODA BEING HERE THAT'S DOING IT, ISN'T IT? - OH, MA.
- I LEFT THE BRONX AT DAWN TO COME DOWN AND PAY A VISIT.
HAVING TO GET PAS THE DERELICTS IN THE SUBWAY, IN THE STREETS--NOT TO MENTION YOUR DOORMAN.
- MA? IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY ANYMORE JUS BECAUSE YOU CAME OVER HERE.
NO MORE.
- ALL RIGHT.
WHAT IF I SAID "I'M LEAVING NOW, BECAUSE I HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT I LOVED AND SACRIFICED FOR ALL MY LIFE, WHO DOESN' WANT TO SEE HER MOTHER?" - THAT WOULD DO IT.
- HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? - HIYA.
I'M HERE.
HOW ABOUT THAT? - OH! BUT WHY? I MEAN, WHY AREN' YOU IN MINNEAPOLIS? I SAID GOOD-BYE TO YOU LAST NIGHT.
- BOY, DID YOU EVER.
SO, THIS MORNING, I CALLED IN SICK.
- WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER? - OH, UH, UH THIS IS, UH, RHODA.
THE NICE LADY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.
THIS IS NOLAN ARTHUR, MY PARTNER.
- OH.
- HE TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW.
- NICE TO MEET YA.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHO TO THANK.
- SO, UH, HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA STAY? - OH, ANOTHER WEEK, JOE.
WE COULD BE TOGETHER ALL WEEK.
ISN'T THAT GREAT? - WELL, NOT REALLY.
I'M GOING OUT OF TOWN TONIGHT ON A JOB.
- AW, WELL, THEN I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- NO, I'M GONNA BE OUT OF TOWN UNTIL FRIDAY.
- FRIDAY? NOW, WAIT.
THAT ONLY GIVES US NIGH BEFORE I HAVE TO LEAVE.
- I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT'S WORK.
- BUT I GOT OUT OF MY WORK TO BE WITH YOU.
SEE, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WISHED I WASN'T LEAVING, AND NOW I'M NOT LEAVING.
SO, UH, COULDN'T YOU TAKE OFF A COUPLE OF DAYS? I MEAN, CALL YOUR BOSS.
TELL HIM YOUR SICK.
- WHO AM I GONNA CALL? ME? COME ON, I CAN'T DO THAT.
I'VE GOT RESPONSIBILITIES.
- OH, BOY.
HMM.
I RISKED MY JOB FOR A FRIDAY.
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
- HEY, I'M SORRY, RHODA, BUT I'M NO GONNA LET YOU MANIPULATE ME INTO FEELING GUILTY ABOUT WORKING JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING POSSESSIVE.
- HOLY SMOKE.
MANIPULATE, GUILTY AND POSSESSIVE, ALL IN THE SAME SENTENCE? IT'S A GRAND SLAM.
FORGET FRIDAY.
- HEY! - YEAH, I SUDDENLY GOT HOMESICK, HERE.
- WHERE ARE YA GOING? - NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.
- HEY, COME ON! - NICE MANIPULATING YOU.
- HEY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? - SO, THAT'S IT.
THE END OF AN ALMOS PERFECT VACATION.
- YOU KNOW, I REALLY FEEL BAD ABOUT YOU LEAVING.
- I KNOW, I CAN TELL.
WHAT ARE YOU EATING? - I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S HOW DEPRESSED I AM.
- WHAT IS IT? - SOME KIND OF PIE.
- OH, BRENDA, LISTEN.
WE GOTTA FACE IT.
I MEAN, THIS TRIP WAS BOUND TO COME TO AN END SOONER OR LATER.
- I KNOW, BUT WHAT ABOU JOE AND YOU, AND YOU AND ME? RHODA, YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME.
- OH, BRENDA.
- I DON'T WANNA GET YOU UPSET.
- I'M NOT UPSET.
YOU GOT ANOTHER FORK FOR THAT? HMM.
YOU KNOW WHAT? - WHAT? - THIS IS BEEF POT PIE.
- A LA MODE.
- I KNOW.
BRENDA, LISTEN.
WE COULD BOTH SIT HERE AND EA UNTIL WE'RE A COUPLE OF SUMO WRESTLERS, OK? THAT'S NOT GONNA ACCOMPLISH A THING.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- THAT'S MA TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT.
- OK.
OK.
OK.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A LONG FIGHT.
I'LL JUST MAKE THIS SHORT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?! - THAT'S IT, HUH? - I'M PARKED IN A TOW-AWAY ZONE.
- WELL, I'LL MAKE IT SHORT, TOO, BECAUSE I'M CATCHING A PLANE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? - I CAN SEE YOU GUYS WAN TO CHAT, SO I'LL JUST LEAVE.
I CAN HEAR YOU, BUT I PROMISE I WON'T LISTEN.
- JOE, THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
- WHAT ISN'T GONNA WORK? - I DON'T KNOW, US.
- WHY NOT? - I DON'T KNOW.
- WHY? - I DON'T KNOW.
- OH, I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
NOW, LOOK, I DROVE HERE ACROSS TOWN.
I WENT THROUGH RED LIGHTS.
I ALMOST SIDESWIPED A BUS, JUST TO TELL YOU, "I REALLY DON'T KNOW YOU YET, BUT IF YOU LEAVE TOWN, I DON'T KNOW, I'M GONNA GO CRAZY.
" - WOW.
- OK, JOE, I'M GONNA TELL YA WHERE I'M AT.
AT YOUR OFFICE TODAY, I WAS REALLY HURT.
WHEN YOU SAID YOU COULDN' SEE ME, I FIGURED IT WAS BECAUSE YOU DIDN' WANT TO SEE ME.
WELL, I'M TIRED OF BEING HURT.
I REALLY DON' LIKE BEING HURT.
- HEY.
- AND, SO-- - IF YOU DIDN'T NEED ME, YOU WOULDN'T BE HURT.
IF I DIDN'T NEED YOU, I WOULDN'T BE HURT.
SO, IN A FUNNY WAY, I'M KINDA GLAD WE'RE HURTING EACH OTHER.
- THAT'S CRAZY.
I MEAN, THAT SCARES ME WHEN I HEAR THAT, JOE, BECAUSE, I CARE ABOUT YOU MORE THAN ANY OTHER MAN I HAVE EVER CARED ABOUT IN MY LIFE, AND I'M AFRAID.
I'M NOT GETTING ENOUGH OF THAT BACK.
- OK, OK, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME OF THAT BACK.
YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE? A MINUTE AGO, I LOOKED OU THAT WINDOW AND I SAW THEM TOWING AWAY MY CAR AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
THAT'S HOW MUCH I CARE.
- WOW.
- RHODA.
STAY.
PLEASE.
DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE STAYING, OR ARE YOUR ARMS TIRED? - BOTH.
- HA HA HA.
- YOU LIKE ME, HUH? OK, JOE.
- NOW THAT WE'RE STRAIGHT I MEAN, WE ARE STRAIGHT, AREN'T WE? - YEAH, WE'RE STRAIGHT.
- OK, I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
- YEAH? - I LIED ABOUT THEM TOWING AWAY MY CAR.
- NO, YA DIDN'T.