Rick and Morty: The Anime (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
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-Yeah,
we make 'em work to the bone
and steal all the profits.
We really are lowlifes, eh?
Let's hurry and get this
over with so we can leave.
-With all due respect,
Commander, remember,
we are not here as invaders.
Galactic law dictates we give
them the time to make a reply.
-But we're gonna wipe 'em
out either way, right?
[ Munching ]
This better not take
too long.
If I miss the event
in my Battle Cats mobile game,
I'll be pissed.
-You're a real scumbag.
♪♪
-Our journey to the next life
is beginning.
♪♪
-There is none
among our people
who will pick up a gun to fight.
-Yes, we forbid those sorts
of ambitions long ago.
-And our society
has flourished
because of that choice.
If this is how it must end,
then I say we quietly accept it.
-Sire,
we are running out of time
to make a reply
to the Federation.
-The end result will be
the same no matter what we say.
Just embrace these last moments
of peace and silence.
[ Laser powering up ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Computers beeping ]
-Early celebration.
Knock 'em dead.
-Gonna kick some ass.
-Okay, fine.
We'll have a serious talk
tomorrow.
-Just make sure
to bring her with you.
-[Gasps]
-We need to clear this up.
-She is just gonna
complicate things.
-Oh, my God, this, again?
-You keep trying
to back your way out of it.
You just don't wanna
make the hard decisions.
-That's not true.
-The newest model
of our neutrino canon
is designed
to quantize entire populations
down to nothing while leaving
everything else untouched.
It makes conquering
planets less messy
and easier than ever before.
-It's also about convenience.
[ Beep ]
-Then tell me why the hell
that stupid skank
-had a key to your room?
-Because I dropped it.
-[ Ship powers down ]
-[ Both ] Huh?
♪♪
-[ Laser powers down ]
-[ All ] Huh?
-[ Ship powers down ]
-[ All ] Huh?
-Oh.
-[ Ship powers down ]
-[Gasps] What the hell?
-[ Alarm sounds ]
-What is this?
-Boo?!
-Oh, no!
-Oh, God. We're under attack!
-Hell, yeah!
Squash these bug bitches!
[ Film reel rolling ]
[ "Love is Entropy" plays
in Japanese ]
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[ Spacecraft engine humming ]
[ Door hisses open ]
-[ Chuckles nervously ]
I could have sworn I called
the plumber, not pest control.
♪♪
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-The legendary terrorist
Rick Sanchez
is now my plaything.
I've got axes, saws,
and a long browsing history
of porn websites.
There is nothing
you can hide from me.
-Jesus, I'm an inventor.
Look, bombs really
aren't my thing, pal.
-I just knew it had something
to do with Rick, Beth.
I mean,
the only thing I'm guilty of
is causing our toilet
to flush constantly,
which hardly compares.
-What the hell's going on?
-Hmm?
There's no way dad will let
himself get caught that easily.
-Well, yeah,
that was just a dummy hologram.
It's got a distraction program,
so no worries.
[ Radar beeping ]
[ Engine powering up ]
♪♪
-That you, Summer?
Those idiots still busy
with my dummy?
-Space Mom is tracking it now.
Everything's going as planned.
Hey, grandpa, what do those
stupid guys even want from you?
-They're trying to get me
on some kind of B.S.
They think I'm holding
an anti-matter bomb.
-And you're not?
-No.
All this thing does
is decrease entropy, you know?
Which makes the flow of time
go backwards.
-What?
-The theory behind it
is simple.
Oh, I guess not
all that different from a bomb.
Both are stupid.
What's Morty up to?
-Making a bunch of noise
in his room like a huge dork.
-[ Grunting ]
♪♪
-He won't stop playing
that VR game you made him,
-grandpa.
-Damn straight.
I made that thing specifically
so he'd get hooked on it.
Except he'll never come back
if he gets in too deep.
♪♪
-[ Whimpering ]
-Somebody doesn't understand
the rules of this game.
-What rules?
Everybody here is an NPC, right?
-Shut up, punk.
Our backstory
is that we're after you
for stealing our money
and stuff.
And guess what? We're supposed
to take it back by force,
-you turd.
-That's a pretty weak backstory.
Look, I don't have your money
or your stuff.
-You won't get to the next
checkpoint like that.
I mean, just look at
what you're wearing, idiot.
-[ Whimpering ]
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
-Oh, geez!
-[ Beam sabers clatter ]
-[ Whimpers ]
-So, whatcha gonna do?
-Hmm?
♪♪
Uhh
-Oh, snap! It's coming!
-Ohhh!
[ Rumbling ]
-[ Creature roaring ]
-[ Glass shattering ]
[ Men shouting ]
-[ Creature roars ]
-[ Men whimper ]
-Run!
♪♪
-[ Shouting ]
[ Whimpering ]
♪♪
[ Whimpering ]
[ Creature roars ]
[ Whimpering ]
♪♪
[ Whimpering continues ]
Oh!
♪♪
[ Swallows hard ]
-It doesn't matter if it's
a virtual simulation or a dream.
Sum Sum.
If there are zero
logical contradictions,
then it becomes reality
to whoever is living it.
-Wow, that's so convenient.
-[ Radar beeping ]
-Believe it or not, reality is
convenient all the time.
[ Devices whirring ]
[ Gulping ]
[ Belches ]
But I always get saddled with
the job of making it make sense.
[ Rewinding ]
♪♪
-So, whatcha gonna do?
-Hmm?
-Uh
-Oh, snap! It's coming!
-Huh? [ Whimpers ]
-[ Rumbling ]
[ Glass shattering ]
[ Morty shouting ]
-Run!
-What the hell are you trying
to get me to do now?
-Wait, what, Grandpa?
-I couldn't hear you.
-It's nothing.
Don't lose sight of me, Summer.
[ Fire crackling ]
-[ Whimpering ]
[ Crackling continues ]
Uh Hmm?
[ Gasps]
-Morty.
-Huh?
♪♪
[ Whimpers ]
♪♪
-I haven't forgotten you
for a second.
-Wh-- Who are you?
Have we met before?
♪♪
-My name is Elle.
I'm a warrior who controls time.
-My -- My name is Morty.
And I'm a warrior, too.
I fight with beam sabers.
Oh.
But I lost them.
-It's so good
to see you again.
♪♪
-[ Whimpers ]
Huh?
[ Fire crackling ]
-Grandpa Rick.
-God damn it!
How long do
I have to put up with this crap?
[ Wind blows ]
[ Creature roars ]
-It's you!
-Sorry, but I'm
not your normal Rick, kid.
-And my Morty's already dead.
-Huh?
-Well, it looks like our
dimensions are intersecting --
-[ Gasps ]
-even in this stupid game.
And the worst part?
All of it is real.
Multiple realities are
progressing at the same time.
It's a doozy.
Never thought
I'd actually see you again.
-Uhh
[ Fire crackling ]
[ Whimpers ]
-[ Grunts ]
-Are you okay?
-Uh
Huh?
[ Stammers ]
Wh-- Wh-- Who are you?
-Frank is my name.
I'm the coward
who turned away from you.
Even though you looked at me
for help.
-Mm, it's all good, dude.
-Please forgive what I did.
You made me want to be better.
-[ Shouting ]
-[ Creature roaring ]
-[ Whimpers ]
-You have lovely eyes.
-Huh?
♪♪
-[ Gulping ]
[ Belches ]
-There are an infinite number
of paths available to us,
but we only get to pick
one life.
It's pretty dumb, huh, Morty?
And the dumbest part
of it all is that we're the ones
who chose it for ourselves.
♪♪
[ Gulps, sighs ]
At least in my case, anyway.
[ Belches, groans ]
♪♪
-[ Groans ]
[ Inhales ]
[ Weakly ] Hell.
♪♪
-So, whatcha gonna do?
-[ Grunting ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Rumbling ]
-Oh, snap! It's coming!
-Huh?
♪♪
[ Men whimpering ]
-Run!
-[ Whimpering ]
-[ Creature roaring ]
[ Shouting ]
Ohhh!
Um, so -- so why -- why would
a girl like you, like me?
-What do you mean?
-Oh -- Oh, man, I-I get it.
This must be grandpa's doing.
-Grandpa? What do you mean?
-Never mind.
Forget I said anything.
-You're saying this is a game
and I don't really exist?
♪♪
-Sick. Is this a-a gift for me?
Oh, th-- thank you.
-[ Giggles ]
It's called
the Nander Dragon's Tear.
[ Waves crashing ]
-There's something special
I want you to have.
-Huh?
Hmm.
♪♪
-It's the Nander Dragon's sweat.
♪♪
-Aren't you gonna take that off?
-Why would I?
This suit gives me all sorts
of power and special abilities.
It lets me feel
like I'm a real man.
-Hmm. It's hard to explain.
I guess I just don't think
it looks good on you.
-The man famous
for his great wealth and honor,
Morty Smith, is now launching
a career into politics.
-Hmm.
Later, I need you to give me
some time alone.
♪♪
[ Whimpers ]
♪♪
-The man
who established an empire
in a single lifetime,
Morty Smith.
Although he had numerous
romances throughout the years,
he never got married even once.
♪♪
-This is something you'll
understand when you get older.
Some people you meet
only once in this life,
but they stay with you
forever,
and your heart
will never let you forget them.
-The final words
that he left behind
remain a complete mystery,
even now.
♪♪
-[ Groans ]
[ Inhales ]
[ Weakly ] Hell.
♪♪
-Just look at yourself, dear!
You need to face reality!
-[ Crying ]
-How are we supposed
to feed our child?
[ Crying continues ]
-[ Groans ]
Uh.
Huh? [ Groans ]
[ Footsteps approaching ]
-Hmm. I finally took off
that suit like you asked.
-[ Whimpering ]
♪♪
-[ Exhales ]
♪♪
-[ Sobbing ]
-[ Grunting ]
♪♪
-Summer, are you still there?
You haven't lost sight of me,
right?
-I can see you clear as day
on the radar, Grandpa.
[ Radar beeping ]
But your position
keeps blinking in and out.
The coordinate axis is warped
and kind of looks like a snake.
-Space time is getting
all flippy
because of that damn gizmo.
I-I don't even know
where I am right now.
Guessing that my location
is staying fixed
because you're monitoring it,
which means I don't have
to worry about getting stuck
in this hellhole as long
as you keep watching, Sum Sum.
-Except it's probably
just a matter of time
before I lose you.
-Yeah, probably.
The portal gun won't work
right now.
Y-Y-You gotta guide me to
wherever the wormhole is.
-Does that mean
you're coming back, Grandpa?
-What?
Also, while you're at it,
I'm gonna need you
to go ahead
and execute protocol 1098.
Bringing Morty back, baby.
-Hell, yeah!
Grandpa, let's do this.
[ Birds chirping ]
-Morty.
-Huh?
♪♪
Huh?
♪♪
-I just knew it.
I knew we'd see
each other again.
-[ Whimpering ]
♪♪
-[ Giggling ]
[ Static, high-pitched ringing ]
-Mission complete.
[ "The Other Side"
by Ayuko Saito plays ]
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-Hmm?
-[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
-[ Groans ]
-Dinner. Bon appétit.
[ Electricity crackling ]