Rosemary and Thyme (2003) s01e01 Episode Script
And No Birds Sing
(HORN TOOTS) Come on, come on.
(TOOTS HORN AGAIN) Didn't you hear my horn? The station, wasn't it? Madam? The station.
I can't go on like this, Alicia.
I can't.
You're better than you were six months ago.
Don't do this, Alicia.
You know I'm not better.
Look at me.
Look.
My lungs are never clear.
I will not go on being a burden to you.
Don't say that.
You're not a burden to me, or anyone else.
I love you, Daniel.
We're going to fight this thing together and we'll win.
We will.
What do you say, Sam? Am I better? I'm not a doctor.
But you're never at a loss for an opinion.
I came here to talk to you about this university nonsense.
Nothing to talk about.
We could build another three branches with that amount of money.
We're expanding too fast already.
And I want to leave something behind.
You're not going anywhere.
Oh, so suddenly you ARE a doctor! Stop it, both of you.
(ENGINE FALTERS) We're going to be late.
Oh, Daniel won't mind.
Punctuality was never his strong point.
I can't say I remember him.
Oh, I haven't seen him for yonks.
He was one of our mature students.
He managed a decent 2:2.
One sees these Kellaway garden centres of his everywhere.
She gets the pinion stuck.
(ENGINE ROARS TO LIFE) She's a good old wagon.
You'll be pleased to hear, your chest sounds clearer.
But the eczema hasn't responded as well as I'd hoped.
Are you using the cream regularly? She keeps me an inch thick in the stuff.
Keep it up, Alicia.
Do you need any more? We always need more.
While you're at it, you could write me up some more Digoxin.
Not overdoing it, are you? No, of course not.
Alicia.
Only it's dodgy stuff, that digitalis.
Oh, listen to her.
What? When she's in top gear at 3,000-3,500 revs she gets that lovely, satisfied, ummm! Yes, very gratifying.
I've been thinking I thought that was forbidden for college principals! About us.
We were pretty good together, weren't we? Were we? Yes.
Are you kidding? We were hell on wheels.
Nonsense.
We had some good times together.
Well, I can't think of any.
Well, be that as it may, why don't we give it another go? Because the go went, Julian.
After eight months with you, I decided I would never again get romantically entangled with a man who pronounces both his Rs in February.
What a beautiful place.
Yes? We'd like to see Mr Kellaway, please.
What for? And who are you? That wasn't the question.
That's all right, Mrs Potts.
They was ringing the bell.
I'll take care of it.
I'm Alicia Kellaway.
You must be Professor Marchant and Rosemary Rosemary Boxer.
Do come in.
I'd much rather you didn't see me like this.
Oh, don't be silly.
You're an old mate.
Anyway, you asked us to come.
Pass me that blue folder, Sam.
I'd best be off.
Bye, Dan.
Thanks for coming, Bob.
Can you see yourself out? I should think so by now.
I'll go out the back way, if that's OK.
'Course.
(See you later.
) It's all in here.
Professor Marchant deals with all the grown-up stuff.
"A proposal for the endowment of the Kellaway Chair of Plant Genetics at the University of Malmesbury.
" Have your legal people look at it, draw up whatever documents are necessary and I'll sign it.
Tea.
Put it on the table, Mrs Potts.
Herbal tea for Mr Trent.
No caffeine for him.
Thanks, Mrs Potts.
I can't tell you how grateful we are.
You mentioned in one of your letters that you rather surprisingly had a horticultural problem.
Has it been remedied yet? Nothing wrong with the gardens as far as I can see they are exquisite.
It made Rosemary's day, seeing what one of her old students can do.
I can't take any credit for that.
The gardens were completely redone by the previous owner a Malaysian, with a big electronics company.
Must have spent a fortune.
So what's the problem? Something to do with the trees? Yes.
In the avenue they're losing their bark, like me.
Hello, it's Laura.
Yes.
Yes, well, you'd better come on in.
Sam will be back soon, he just He's left me.
Oh.
For some 23-year-old tart.
Thank you very much for volunteering my services.
No, fine, I know we can depend on you.
And who is going to do my lecture in the morning, may I ask? Don't worry, I'll ask young Frank Peterson to do it.
This is important for the college.
Yes, I know, I realise that.
Well, that doesn't look good.
What is it? I'm not quite sure yet.
It's very interesting.
I wonder if any of these have been affected.
(HORN TOOTS) That'll be my taxi.
You just get this sorted out, eh? Good old Rosemary.
Well, how long have I got? As long as it takes.
I'll be in touch.
Thanks a bunch.
Well, this is a nice surprise.
(SOBS) Sam! What am I going to do? What am I going to do, Sam? Well, I I suppose you knew about this.
Only what Vickie's just told me.
Come on, you were our best friend.
Look, sit down, Laura, sit down.
Tell me what happened.
Nick's left me.
Another woman? You did know? I didn't.
Nick's the last person I'd expect to do this.
That's what makes it worse he spends 27 years pretending to be a decent human being then he turns out to be just like the rest of you.
Good evening.
I called about a room for Mrs Thyme.
Oh, yes, that's fine.
If you just sign here, I'll have your bags taken up.
If you want dinner, we stop serving at nine.
(BLEEPING) Time for a pill.
What's that for? Er to keep the old pump going.
Right see you in the morning then.
I'll be here at half-past eight.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thanks.
(SOBS) (CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC) Come on.
Oh, sorry.
No, fine.
(CLOCK CHIMES) Oh, hello.
Billie? Billie, it's Rosemary.
I'm stuck here for a couple of days.
Could you bung some clean clothes and some knickers in a bag and bring them to me? Do you know where my house keys are? Oh, great.
And I need you to go to the lab and get a small microscope, my copy of Exotic Dendrology and my laptop.
Yes, fine.
Where am I? I'm at The White Hart in Dowminster.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
Cheers, Billie.
Bye.
Do you want to try again? I don't know what to do.
A friend was supposed to pick me up at 8:30.
No sign of him, now there's no reply.
Was that the chap you were with last night? Yes, yeah.
Sam Trent.
Ah.
Oh, you know him? No, not really.
I met him yesterday.
Does he live near here? Only a couple of miles away it's a village called Devenish.
Oh, I go past there.
Come on, I'll give you a lift.
Oh, thank you.
23 years old! 23, blonde and thin as a bloody rail.
Where did he meet her? Work.
He's a policeman, did you say? DCI.
He was a detective constable when we got married, I was a WPC.
He made me give all that up, of course.
Well, maybe he'll come back when she's bored with him.
Back? I wouldn't have him back if he crawled on hands and knees over broken glass! Attagirl.
Sorry.
Are you married? No, no, no.
On the brink a couple of times, but the good ones got away.
Stop.
Stop, stop, stop! Oh, my God.
That's Sam's car.
What happened? Hit by a truck as he crossed last night.
Oh, my God.
What about the driver? Truck driver said he come straight across the junction about 40 didn't have a chance.
I knew as soon as I saw the number.
Always remember registration numbers force of habit.
Oh, my God.
Vickie? Vickie, oh, I'm so sorry! He was only going to be gone for 20 minutes.
I didn't say goodbye even.
(VACUUM CLEANER) Mrs Potts, can you do that later? I've got the bedrooms to do after this.
Later, Mrs Potts.
Hi.
Hi.
They're not questioning it at all.
Questioning what? Vickie and Mrs Kellaway both agree about Sam's driving he wouldn't have been that careless.
And he had a heart condition.
They both accept that he drove across that road without looking.
What are you saying? That he had a heart attack before the crash? Yes, quite possibly.
Would it make any difference? He took a pill before he left the hotel what if someone had been tampering with them? Why should they? I don't know.
There's something dodgy about the doctor and Mrs Kellaway anyway.
What makes you say that? Oh, body language.
A bit too friendly.
What exactly are you doing here? I'm a plant pathologist and there's something wrong with the trees and Mr Kellaway asked me to have a look at them.
They won't thrive if you don't strive.
That's what my dad used to say.
He was a farmer.
Oh, it's beautiful here, isn't it? So you're a gardener? I love gardening.
So do I, but I'm more on the academic side more a bookworm than an earthworm.
It's funny, I don't miss my house at all, but I really miss my garden.
Oh, wow.
Whoo, bloody hell, look at that! Heracleum mantegazzianum.
Giant Hogweed to us commoners.
It's poisonous, isn't it? Don't even touch it.
Did you see the housekeeper there? Mrs Potts? Yes.
Why? I'm sure I've seen her before.
I can't think where.
But as soon as I saw her face, a word popped into my mind Withersedge.
Withersedge? Is that a name? I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
The sedge is withered from the lake.
And no birds sing.
What's that? Keats.
La Belle Dame Sans Merci.
Rosemary! Billie.
You needn't have waited.
Not that it's not nice to see you.
I thought I'd better.
I've got you some clothes.
Ah, yes, great.
This is Laura.
Hi.
And this is Billie Halliday.
I wanted to talk to you personally This letter came for you this morning from Professor Marchant.
I thought you might want to see it.
Three other members of the faculty have had them.
This is a joke, right? I don't think so, no.
He's given me the bloody sack.
And all the others.
Who others? Deirdre Fellowes, Tom Bishop, Fergus Cooke.
He's given us all the sack? I'm so sorry, Rosemary, I He was only here with me yesterday.
Saying he could depend on me the shifty, treacherous, double-dealing vile little bastard! I've just finished 18 years at Malmesbury.
Only senior lecturer in Applied Horticulture PhD.
I got too big so they had to cut me down.
(MAN CRIES OUT) Alicia! Alicia! Winterbourne Manor, Devenish.
Dr Whittaker.
As quick as you can.
Thank you.
What's happened? I've called an ambulance.
Dan! Don't touch him.
Did he fall? He must have.
What are you doing here anyway? Dan rang me about 20 minutes ago.
He sounded desperate.
I heard a shout as I was getting out of the car.
I found him like this.
When did you see him last? Not since lunchtime.
Well, he must've fallen, mustn't he? From his room.
Look, go and get a blanket.
we've got to keep him warm.
Thank you so much, Professor Hashim.
The diseased trees are a mystery to me.
Yes, you've been a great help.
Thank you.
My regards to Madame Hashim.
Thank you, right.
Yes, bye.
Bye.
(SIGHS) Er, sorry.
Where was I? The ambulance came.
Yes, the ambulance came and they took him away.
Was he dead? No no, I don't think so.
The ambulance men put a drip in his arm.
Unless it was formaldehyde and they wanted to keep him looking nice.
Do you think his wife, or the doctor might have pushed him off the balcony? I don't know.
I couldn't hear properly I was behind a bush.
But they seemed genuinely upset.
I don't know what to think.
What were you doing behind a bush? Hiding.
You didn't say anything? How could I? I couldn't explain what I was doing there, eavesdropping.
And there's another thing.
That housekeeper And she had a knife? Well, it looked like a knife.
Bloody hell! What do you think was in the sack? That's what I was wondering.
She was being very furtive.
She looks bonkers anyway.
I think it's just the hat.
I wish I could remember where I'd seen her before.
Nick's mother wears hats like that.
Not Nick again! No, no, I'm fine.
Bastard! He probably didn't tell her he was married they don't, you know.
Then it's too late.
23 years of age! Laura, please.
Well, it's so unfair.
I didn't ask to get old.
Well, everyone gets old.
We'll get old, she'll get old.
Not if I have anything to do with it.
Oh, I hate hospitals.
I just want to see how Daniel is.
I can't ask at the house no-one knows that I saw anything.
Suppose his wife is here.
That's a point.
Well, I'll just have to say No, YOU'LL just have to say you heard somewhere.
Thanks very much, very convincing.
What's going on? It's his wife, Alicia.
And the doctor.
No cause for alarm, sir.
Just a routine inspection.
"Dr Harvey to X-Ray, please.
Dr Harvey to X-Ray.
" Oh, he's not going to tell us much.
At least he's still alive.
Poor dear.
That's the dermatitis I told you about.
Is that the same as eczema? Doesn't look like any eczema I've ever seen.
It's horrible.
Actually, his skin looks better.
It was all blistered yesterday.
Come on.
Maybe I don't know, they've got better medication here.
First one partner, then the other.
I wonder who inherits the business.
The partners' wives, presumably.
Alicia Kellaway and your Vickie Trent.
What are you suggesting? Maybe they didn't want the money to go to your university.
I've known far less as a motive.
Wait a minute, whose is ? He's here! Who's here? Bloody nerve! (DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY) I want to see Professor Marchant.
I daresay you do.
Julian! Rosemary? How dare you?! I heard there had been an accident.
You toad! You've had my letter.
You vermin.
You cheap, grizzly, low-rent, dismal little crumb bum! Whoo-hoo! What was sensational.
What weight do you normally fight at? I've never hit anyone before.
Well, you've got a natural talent for it.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
How did I ever fancy him? That's what I don't understand.
You need cheering up.
I need calming down, not cheering up.
Well, this'll do it.
To hell with men! Hm.
Haven't you ever met a good one? No.
Either they're all over you or they're all over somebody else.
Some of them are lovely.
Oh, well.
No.
No more work.
You're on R&R.
No, I'm just looking up that word on the Internet Withersedge.
Oh, right.
There are thousands of sites.
The Royal Borough of Withersedge.
It's a place! There's a site here called They Got Away With It.
What's that? Oh, try it.
Jack the Ripper, Adelaide Bartlett, Madeleine Smith It's people that got away with murder.
Oh, here it is The Wicked Witch of Withersedge! That's right, of course Delia Kettle.
That's right, it's Delia Kettle.
There's a picture of her here.
It looks like her she's even wearing one of her hats.
That's right.
I'd just joined the force.
It was all over the papers.
The trial was in the autumn.
"Mrs Delia Kettle seen at her house in Withersedge shortly after her release.
" Ah-ha, she got off.
She had married a retired wholesale butcher from Norwich.
He died suddenly, apparently of a heart attack, but there was a lot of talk locally.
She was already called the Witch of Withersedge.
Why? She grew a lot of herbs or something, I don't know.
Anyway, she'd been married before and he had died in suspicious circumstances.
That's right, there was a child from the first marriage.
Now Mr Kettle's insurance company refused to pay up, saying they weren't satisfied, so she took them to court and the police got interested.
Was she accused of poisoning him? Yes, but they didn't have much of a case unfortunately.
At least she's got a sense of humour.
Why? Mrs Kettle, Mrs Potts.
Potts, yes.
But how can she be involved in Daniel's fall from the balcony? I saw her in the garden just before.
I still think she found a way of killing Sam.
That was an accident as far as we know.
Hang on.
The phone's dead.
My computer's plugged in! Why is she doing it? What's her motive? Maybe she doesn't need a motive, maybe she's just a natural born killer.
Yes, could I speak to Sgt Thyme, please? Your husband? No, it's not my husband.
It's my eldest, Matthew.
He's at the Met.
Sgt Thyme.
Hello, Matt.
How are you? Hello, Mum.
I'm fine.
Are you all right? Fine, yeah No, I'm fine.
You've got to feel sorry for any girl to get mixed up with a man like your father.
Listen, Matthew, there's something I want you to do for me.
Anything at all, Mum.
I want you to look up Mrs Kettle, 1972.
A Mrs Kettle? Yes.
Mrs Delia Kettle.
She poisoned her husband but she got away with it.
I want you to find out what happened to her.
I can't do that, Mum, I'm Mum, I've got Oh, Mum! All right, all right.
Yes, I will.
OK.
Goodbye, Mum.
Haven't you got a mother? Right, I'm good at digging.
Keeps my mind off things.
Well, almost.
Where do you want me? You'll only need a trowel.
I don't have a spare one.
There's a barn round the side.
Maybe there'll be some spare tools in there.
Do you know, I keep thinking we ought to warn Mrs Kellaway.
I assume she didn't knowingly employ the Wicked Witch Of Withersedge.
How can we warn her? What if SHE pushed Daniel off the balcony? We'll just have to wait for Matthew to ring back.
At least we're ideally placed if anything should happen.
Right.
Oh, what's this? Hydrocortisone cream.
Industrial size.
You use that in gardening? No.
Maybe Daniel uses it for his eczema.
What's it doing it in the barn then? I've never seen anyone dry foxgloves before.
It's just a cream.
Look at this.
What? I've got you now, haven't I? What are you doing in here? We thought it was going to rain.
Poking about ain't allowed.
This is private, this is.
Private property.
Yes, terribly sorry.
Clear off out of it, both of you! I nearly fainted when I saw her standing there with that knife.
She had a knife when you saw her the other day, didn't she? "Poking about ain't allowed.
" "Private property, this is!" Still haven't got you a trowel.
Have you nothing in the Land Rover? Oh, my hand, it's so itchy.
What's that? I don't know.
Oh, yes, I do.
It's where I put the cream on.
Where are we going? Where are we going? I want to show you something.
Look, someone's been cutting stalks from the base.
Oh, the hogweed.
Did you know it was illegal to propagate this? No.
Because if you put the sap on your skin, it blisters and burns.
Like this? Like this.
When I first saw it, I thought somebody was making a half-hearted attempt to remove it.
But did you notice, there were some crushed Hogweed stalks on the floor of the barn? That's right.
So someone has been adding the juice of the hogweed BOTH: to the cortisone cream! It's not just anyone, it's got to be that awful housekeeper.
That's why the more they put on Daniel, the worse he got and why he's in hospital, he's getting better cos no-one's spreading this on him! No, wait, if I am correct, it's not just the juice, it's something called phytophototoxic.
Phytophoto ? Phytophototoxic.
It reacts with the sunlight on the skin.
As far as I know, Daniel never goes out.
It's not going to kill him though, nobody ever died of dermatitis.
No, but it could get infected, then he could get septicaemia and that could kill him.
Hm.
It's no good, I've got to tell Alicia.
If that old witch suspects that we're onto her, God knows what she might do.
Yes, to us! Yes.
You'd better go and find Dr Whittaker.
Tell him everything and show him your arm.
He can't ignore that.
How am I going to get there? Take the wagon.
Drive that thing? You'll love it! No, you can't go back in that house on your own.
She won't do anything to me if Alicia's there.
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
(GEARS GRIND) Oh, bloody hell! (GEARS CONTINUE TO GRIND) Hello? Alicia? Mrs Kellaway? It's really quite nasty.
Could you hold onto that, please? Don't you think Mrs Potts' behaviour is suspicious? Eccentric perhaps.
But I'm sorry, there's no conceivable motive.
It doesn't make any sense.
Poisoners are weird, they don't always need a motive.
They just enjoy being clever, you know.
Dropping a pill in someone's drink and standing by looking innocent, waiting for them to die.
No.
No, I'm sorry.
(Sunlight).
Yes! (FOOTSTEPS) Oh, it's you! I thought you were Mrs Potts.
What are you doing up here? I I was looking for you.
I came to warn you.
Do you mind if I sit down? I feel quite weak.
What did you want to warn me about? Your housekeeper, Mrs Potts.
Really? Do go on.
I'm so sorry, doctor.
You must think we're a pair of hysterical women.
It's quite understandable.
You're in a highly-charged emotional state anyway, then you see an elderly woman who you think looks Ah, Mrs Thyme.
Call for you.
Excuse me.
Hello? Hello, Mum.
It's Matthew.
I looked into that Mrs Kettle for you.
The police in Norfolk kept an eye on her for a time they knew she was guilty, never mind what the jury said.
Then a few years later, her daughter started getting into trouble a couple of assaults on teachers, one of them quite nasty.
Anyway, Mrs Kettle sold up and moved away that was 25 years ago.
They've heard nothing from her since.
Ah, well, thanks, Matt.
It was probably a false alarm anyway.
Alicia skipped her probation, so if you do come across them Yes, yeah, I'll turn her in.
What did you say? I said if you do come across them what? What did you say? Alicia.
Alicia Kettle.
Mum? Mum? Oh, my God.
Alicia is her daughter! This is very disturbing, Rosemary.
I'll say it is.
I think we'll have to confront Mrs Potts with what you've told me.
We? Now? Better to get it out in the open.
(PRESSES BUZZER) Don't you think? Yes I suppose so.
They're at Winterbourne Manor.
Yes, she might be.
OK, thank you.
They're sending a patrol car as soon as they can.
This is probably exactly what Alicia and her mother wanted.
They weren't going to kill Daniel, oh, no.
That's too risky.
Not with a mum with two dodgy widowhoods behind her.
They were going to drive him into killing himself.
You know what? What? That's probably the only reason she was sleeping with you.
Alicia is my patient, nothing more.
Come on! If she wasn't sleeping with you, she was leading you on.
I'm sorry She wanted to make sure that the main medical witness at the inquest was in no position to make waves.
I mean, it is incredible this, isn't it? Oh, it is, it really is.
Ah, here she comes.
What do you want? This lady's been making all sorts of accusations Mummy.
(MOUTHS) Mummy? Has she now? Has she now? That bit you hadn't worked out.
I knew she'd be trouble.
Deal with her, Mummy.
There's nowhere you can go to, you know.
Go on, Mummy, get her, Mummy! (SCREAMS) HE-EEEELLP! HE-EEELP! AHHH! (POLICE SIRENS) Alicia Their problem was that Sam would have still been in charge of the business, even after they'd finished off Daniel.
So Mrs Potts was dosing him up at every opportunity with herb tea, made from foxglove leaves.
Along with the digitalis-based drug that Dr Whittaker was giving him, it probably would have doubled the dose.
It gave him a heart attack while he was driving.
I'm not surprised no-one could work it out.
I had to go all the way to the University of Kuala Lumpur's Department of Forestry.
Apparently it's a fungus only found in the rain forest.
How did it get here? As you said, the garden was remodelled by a Malaysian family, so they must have imported a few exotics from their own country and somehow the fungus came with them.
So what's the verdict? Well, you're going to lose three trees, and the rest, including the laburnum, will have to be sprayed once a month for six months.
It's a big job because of their size.
But it'll be worth it.
Oh, yes.
And I think I'll keep the hogweed a useful reminder.
Daniel, I'm so sorry.
How could I have been such a fool? I'll never trust anyone again.
She was so affectionate.
So loving.
I know.
Thank God for trees, eh? Yes, thank God for trees! Well, we'll call by a couple of weeks, see how you're getting on? I should be up and about by then.
Well, I suppose this is what they call freedom.
Me without a job and you without a husband.
You know when Daniel said, "Thank God for trees?" Mm.
I really felt something, I mean trees are not like human beings, are they? I'm really pissed off with human beings.
You're just pissed off with Nick.
Do you know something? You haven't mentioned him for at least half an hour.
That's good, isn't it? (LAUGHS)
(TOOTS HORN AGAIN) Didn't you hear my horn? The station, wasn't it? Madam? The station.
I can't go on like this, Alicia.
I can't.
You're better than you were six months ago.
Don't do this, Alicia.
You know I'm not better.
Look at me.
Look.
My lungs are never clear.
I will not go on being a burden to you.
Don't say that.
You're not a burden to me, or anyone else.
I love you, Daniel.
We're going to fight this thing together and we'll win.
We will.
What do you say, Sam? Am I better? I'm not a doctor.
But you're never at a loss for an opinion.
I came here to talk to you about this university nonsense.
Nothing to talk about.
We could build another three branches with that amount of money.
We're expanding too fast already.
And I want to leave something behind.
You're not going anywhere.
Oh, so suddenly you ARE a doctor! Stop it, both of you.
(ENGINE FALTERS) We're going to be late.
Oh, Daniel won't mind.
Punctuality was never his strong point.
I can't say I remember him.
Oh, I haven't seen him for yonks.
He was one of our mature students.
He managed a decent 2:2.
One sees these Kellaway garden centres of his everywhere.
She gets the pinion stuck.
(ENGINE ROARS TO LIFE) She's a good old wagon.
You'll be pleased to hear, your chest sounds clearer.
But the eczema hasn't responded as well as I'd hoped.
Are you using the cream regularly? She keeps me an inch thick in the stuff.
Keep it up, Alicia.
Do you need any more? We always need more.
While you're at it, you could write me up some more Digoxin.
Not overdoing it, are you? No, of course not.
Alicia.
Only it's dodgy stuff, that digitalis.
Oh, listen to her.
What? When she's in top gear at 3,000-3,500 revs she gets that lovely, satisfied, ummm! Yes, very gratifying.
I've been thinking I thought that was forbidden for college principals! About us.
We were pretty good together, weren't we? Were we? Yes.
Are you kidding? We were hell on wheels.
Nonsense.
We had some good times together.
Well, I can't think of any.
Well, be that as it may, why don't we give it another go? Because the go went, Julian.
After eight months with you, I decided I would never again get romantically entangled with a man who pronounces both his Rs in February.
What a beautiful place.
Yes? We'd like to see Mr Kellaway, please.
What for? And who are you? That wasn't the question.
That's all right, Mrs Potts.
They was ringing the bell.
I'll take care of it.
I'm Alicia Kellaway.
You must be Professor Marchant and Rosemary Rosemary Boxer.
Do come in.
I'd much rather you didn't see me like this.
Oh, don't be silly.
You're an old mate.
Anyway, you asked us to come.
Pass me that blue folder, Sam.
I'd best be off.
Bye, Dan.
Thanks for coming, Bob.
Can you see yourself out? I should think so by now.
I'll go out the back way, if that's OK.
'Course.
(See you later.
) It's all in here.
Professor Marchant deals with all the grown-up stuff.
"A proposal for the endowment of the Kellaway Chair of Plant Genetics at the University of Malmesbury.
" Have your legal people look at it, draw up whatever documents are necessary and I'll sign it.
Tea.
Put it on the table, Mrs Potts.
Herbal tea for Mr Trent.
No caffeine for him.
Thanks, Mrs Potts.
I can't tell you how grateful we are.
You mentioned in one of your letters that you rather surprisingly had a horticultural problem.
Has it been remedied yet? Nothing wrong with the gardens as far as I can see they are exquisite.
It made Rosemary's day, seeing what one of her old students can do.
I can't take any credit for that.
The gardens were completely redone by the previous owner a Malaysian, with a big electronics company.
Must have spent a fortune.
So what's the problem? Something to do with the trees? Yes.
In the avenue they're losing their bark, like me.
Hello, it's Laura.
Yes.
Yes, well, you'd better come on in.
Sam will be back soon, he just He's left me.
Oh.
For some 23-year-old tart.
Thank you very much for volunteering my services.
No, fine, I know we can depend on you.
And who is going to do my lecture in the morning, may I ask? Don't worry, I'll ask young Frank Peterson to do it.
This is important for the college.
Yes, I know, I realise that.
Well, that doesn't look good.
What is it? I'm not quite sure yet.
It's very interesting.
I wonder if any of these have been affected.
(HORN TOOTS) That'll be my taxi.
You just get this sorted out, eh? Good old Rosemary.
Well, how long have I got? As long as it takes.
I'll be in touch.
Thanks a bunch.
Well, this is a nice surprise.
(SOBS) Sam! What am I going to do? What am I going to do, Sam? Well, I I suppose you knew about this.
Only what Vickie's just told me.
Come on, you were our best friend.
Look, sit down, Laura, sit down.
Tell me what happened.
Nick's left me.
Another woman? You did know? I didn't.
Nick's the last person I'd expect to do this.
That's what makes it worse he spends 27 years pretending to be a decent human being then he turns out to be just like the rest of you.
Good evening.
I called about a room for Mrs Thyme.
Oh, yes, that's fine.
If you just sign here, I'll have your bags taken up.
If you want dinner, we stop serving at nine.
(BLEEPING) Time for a pill.
What's that for? Er to keep the old pump going.
Right see you in the morning then.
I'll be here at half-past eight.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thanks.
(SOBS) (CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC) Come on.
Oh, sorry.
No, fine.
(CLOCK CHIMES) Oh, hello.
Billie? Billie, it's Rosemary.
I'm stuck here for a couple of days.
Could you bung some clean clothes and some knickers in a bag and bring them to me? Do you know where my house keys are? Oh, great.
And I need you to go to the lab and get a small microscope, my copy of Exotic Dendrology and my laptop.
Yes, fine.
Where am I? I'm at The White Hart in Dowminster.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
Cheers, Billie.
Bye.
Do you want to try again? I don't know what to do.
A friend was supposed to pick me up at 8:30.
No sign of him, now there's no reply.
Was that the chap you were with last night? Yes, yeah.
Sam Trent.
Ah.
Oh, you know him? No, not really.
I met him yesterday.
Does he live near here? Only a couple of miles away it's a village called Devenish.
Oh, I go past there.
Come on, I'll give you a lift.
Oh, thank you.
23 years old! 23, blonde and thin as a bloody rail.
Where did he meet her? Work.
He's a policeman, did you say? DCI.
He was a detective constable when we got married, I was a WPC.
He made me give all that up, of course.
Well, maybe he'll come back when she's bored with him.
Back? I wouldn't have him back if he crawled on hands and knees over broken glass! Attagirl.
Sorry.
Are you married? No, no, no.
On the brink a couple of times, but the good ones got away.
Stop.
Stop, stop, stop! Oh, my God.
That's Sam's car.
What happened? Hit by a truck as he crossed last night.
Oh, my God.
What about the driver? Truck driver said he come straight across the junction about 40 didn't have a chance.
I knew as soon as I saw the number.
Always remember registration numbers force of habit.
Oh, my God.
Vickie? Vickie, oh, I'm so sorry! He was only going to be gone for 20 minutes.
I didn't say goodbye even.
(VACUUM CLEANER) Mrs Potts, can you do that later? I've got the bedrooms to do after this.
Later, Mrs Potts.
Hi.
Hi.
They're not questioning it at all.
Questioning what? Vickie and Mrs Kellaway both agree about Sam's driving he wouldn't have been that careless.
And he had a heart condition.
They both accept that he drove across that road without looking.
What are you saying? That he had a heart attack before the crash? Yes, quite possibly.
Would it make any difference? He took a pill before he left the hotel what if someone had been tampering with them? Why should they? I don't know.
There's something dodgy about the doctor and Mrs Kellaway anyway.
What makes you say that? Oh, body language.
A bit too friendly.
What exactly are you doing here? I'm a plant pathologist and there's something wrong with the trees and Mr Kellaway asked me to have a look at them.
They won't thrive if you don't strive.
That's what my dad used to say.
He was a farmer.
Oh, it's beautiful here, isn't it? So you're a gardener? I love gardening.
So do I, but I'm more on the academic side more a bookworm than an earthworm.
It's funny, I don't miss my house at all, but I really miss my garden.
Oh, wow.
Whoo, bloody hell, look at that! Heracleum mantegazzianum.
Giant Hogweed to us commoners.
It's poisonous, isn't it? Don't even touch it.
Did you see the housekeeper there? Mrs Potts? Yes.
Why? I'm sure I've seen her before.
I can't think where.
But as soon as I saw her face, a word popped into my mind Withersedge.
Withersedge? Is that a name? I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
The sedge is withered from the lake.
And no birds sing.
What's that? Keats.
La Belle Dame Sans Merci.
Rosemary! Billie.
You needn't have waited.
Not that it's not nice to see you.
I thought I'd better.
I've got you some clothes.
Ah, yes, great.
This is Laura.
Hi.
And this is Billie Halliday.
I wanted to talk to you personally This letter came for you this morning from Professor Marchant.
I thought you might want to see it.
Three other members of the faculty have had them.
This is a joke, right? I don't think so, no.
He's given me the bloody sack.
And all the others.
Who others? Deirdre Fellowes, Tom Bishop, Fergus Cooke.
He's given us all the sack? I'm so sorry, Rosemary, I He was only here with me yesterday.
Saying he could depend on me the shifty, treacherous, double-dealing vile little bastard! I've just finished 18 years at Malmesbury.
Only senior lecturer in Applied Horticulture PhD.
I got too big so they had to cut me down.
(MAN CRIES OUT) Alicia! Alicia! Winterbourne Manor, Devenish.
Dr Whittaker.
As quick as you can.
Thank you.
What's happened? I've called an ambulance.
Dan! Don't touch him.
Did he fall? He must have.
What are you doing here anyway? Dan rang me about 20 minutes ago.
He sounded desperate.
I heard a shout as I was getting out of the car.
I found him like this.
When did you see him last? Not since lunchtime.
Well, he must've fallen, mustn't he? From his room.
Look, go and get a blanket.
we've got to keep him warm.
Thank you so much, Professor Hashim.
The diseased trees are a mystery to me.
Yes, you've been a great help.
Thank you.
My regards to Madame Hashim.
Thank you, right.
Yes, bye.
Bye.
(SIGHS) Er, sorry.
Where was I? The ambulance came.
Yes, the ambulance came and they took him away.
Was he dead? No no, I don't think so.
The ambulance men put a drip in his arm.
Unless it was formaldehyde and they wanted to keep him looking nice.
Do you think his wife, or the doctor might have pushed him off the balcony? I don't know.
I couldn't hear properly I was behind a bush.
But they seemed genuinely upset.
I don't know what to think.
What were you doing behind a bush? Hiding.
You didn't say anything? How could I? I couldn't explain what I was doing there, eavesdropping.
And there's another thing.
That housekeeper And she had a knife? Well, it looked like a knife.
Bloody hell! What do you think was in the sack? That's what I was wondering.
She was being very furtive.
She looks bonkers anyway.
I think it's just the hat.
I wish I could remember where I'd seen her before.
Nick's mother wears hats like that.
Not Nick again! No, no, I'm fine.
Bastard! He probably didn't tell her he was married they don't, you know.
Then it's too late.
23 years of age! Laura, please.
Well, it's so unfair.
I didn't ask to get old.
Well, everyone gets old.
We'll get old, she'll get old.
Not if I have anything to do with it.
Oh, I hate hospitals.
I just want to see how Daniel is.
I can't ask at the house no-one knows that I saw anything.
Suppose his wife is here.
That's a point.
Well, I'll just have to say No, YOU'LL just have to say you heard somewhere.
Thanks very much, very convincing.
What's going on? It's his wife, Alicia.
And the doctor.
No cause for alarm, sir.
Just a routine inspection.
"Dr Harvey to X-Ray, please.
Dr Harvey to X-Ray.
" Oh, he's not going to tell us much.
At least he's still alive.
Poor dear.
That's the dermatitis I told you about.
Is that the same as eczema? Doesn't look like any eczema I've ever seen.
It's horrible.
Actually, his skin looks better.
It was all blistered yesterday.
Come on.
Maybe I don't know, they've got better medication here.
First one partner, then the other.
I wonder who inherits the business.
The partners' wives, presumably.
Alicia Kellaway and your Vickie Trent.
What are you suggesting? Maybe they didn't want the money to go to your university.
I've known far less as a motive.
Wait a minute, whose is ? He's here! Who's here? Bloody nerve! (DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY) I want to see Professor Marchant.
I daresay you do.
Julian! Rosemary? How dare you?! I heard there had been an accident.
You toad! You've had my letter.
You vermin.
You cheap, grizzly, low-rent, dismal little crumb bum! Whoo-hoo! What was sensational.
What weight do you normally fight at? I've never hit anyone before.
Well, you've got a natural talent for it.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
How did I ever fancy him? That's what I don't understand.
You need cheering up.
I need calming down, not cheering up.
Well, this'll do it.
To hell with men! Hm.
Haven't you ever met a good one? No.
Either they're all over you or they're all over somebody else.
Some of them are lovely.
Oh, well.
No.
No more work.
You're on R&R.
No, I'm just looking up that word on the Internet Withersedge.
Oh, right.
There are thousands of sites.
The Royal Borough of Withersedge.
It's a place! There's a site here called They Got Away With It.
What's that? Oh, try it.
Jack the Ripper, Adelaide Bartlett, Madeleine Smith It's people that got away with murder.
Oh, here it is The Wicked Witch of Withersedge! That's right, of course Delia Kettle.
That's right, it's Delia Kettle.
There's a picture of her here.
It looks like her she's even wearing one of her hats.
That's right.
I'd just joined the force.
It was all over the papers.
The trial was in the autumn.
"Mrs Delia Kettle seen at her house in Withersedge shortly after her release.
" Ah-ha, she got off.
She had married a retired wholesale butcher from Norwich.
He died suddenly, apparently of a heart attack, but there was a lot of talk locally.
She was already called the Witch of Withersedge.
Why? She grew a lot of herbs or something, I don't know.
Anyway, she'd been married before and he had died in suspicious circumstances.
That's right, there was a child from the first marriage.
Now Mr Kettle's insurance company refused to pay up, saying they weren't satisfied, so she took them to court and the police got interested.
Was she accused of poisoning him? Yes, but they didn't have much of a case unfortunately.
At least she's got a sense of humour.
Why? Mrs Kettle, Mrs Potts.
Potts, yes.
But how can she be involved in Daniel's fall from the balcony? I saw her in the garden just before.
I still think she found a way of killing Sam.
That was an accident as far as we know.
Hang on.
The phone's dead.
My computer's plugged in! Why is she doing it? What's her motive? Maybe she doesn't need a motive, maybe she's just a natural born killer.
Yes, could I speak to Sgt Thyme, please? Your husband? No, it's not my husband.
It's my eldest, Matthew.
He's at the Met.
Sgt Thyme.
Hello, Matt.
How are you? Hello, Mum.
I'm fine.
Are you all right? Fine, yeah No, I'm fine.
You've got to feel sorry for any girl to get mixed up with a man like your father.
Listen, Matthew, there's something I want you to do for me.
Anything at all, Mum.
I want you to look up Mrs Kettle, 1972.
A Mrs Kettle? Yes.
Mrs Delia Kettle.
She poisoned her husband but she got away with it.
I want you to find out what happened to her.
I can't do that, Mum, I'm Mum, I've got Oh, Mum! All right, all right.
Yes, I will.
OK.
Goodbye, Mum.
Haven't you got a mother? Right, I'm good at digging.
Keeps my mind off things.
Well, almost.
Where do you want me? You'll only need a trowel.
I don't have a spare one.
There's a barn round the side.
Maybe there'll be some spare tools in there.
Do you know, I keep thinking we ought to warn Mrs Kellaway.
I assume she didn't knowingly employ the Wicked Witch Of Withersedge.
How can we warn her? What if SHE pushed Daniel off the balcony? We'll just have to wait for Matthew to ring back.
At least we're ideally placed if anything should happen.
Right.
Oh, what's this? Hydrocortisone cream.
Industrial size.
You use that in gardening? No.
Maybe Daniel uses it for his eczema.
What's it doing it in the barn then? I've never seen anyone dry foxgloves before.
It's just a cream.
Look at this.
What? I've got you now, haven't I? What are you doing in here? We thought it was going to rain.
Poking about ain't allowed.
This is private, this is.
Private property.
Yes, terribly sorry.
Clear off out of it, both of you! I nearly fainted when I saw her standing there with that knife.
She had a knife when you saw her the other day, didn't she? "Poking about ain't allowed.
" "Private property, this is!" Still haven't got you a trowel.
Have you nothing in the Land Rover? Oh, my hand, it's so itchy.
What's that? I don't know.
Oh, yes, I do.
It's where I put the cream on.
Where are we going? Where are we going? I want to show you something.
Look, someone's been cutting stalks from the base.
Oh, the hogweed.
Did you know it was illegal to propagate this? No.
Because if you put the sap on your skin, it blisters and burns.
Like this? Like this.
When I first saw it, I thought somebody was making a half-hearted attempt to remove it.
But did you notice, there were some crushed Hogweed stalks on the floor of the barn? That's right.
So someone has been adding the juice of the hogweed BOTH: to the cortisone cream! It's not just anyone, it's got to be that awful housekeeper.
That's why the more they put on Daniel, the worse he got and why he's in hospital, he's getting better cos no-one's spreading this on him! No, wait, if I am correct, it's not just the juice, it's something called phytophototoxic.
Phytophoto ? Phytophototoxic.
It reacts with the sunlight on the skin.
As far as I know, Daniel never goes out.
It's not going to kill him though, nobody ever died of dermatitis.
No, but it could get infected, then he could get septicaemia and that could kill him.
Hm.
It's no good, I've got to tell Alicia.
If that old witch suspects that we're onto her, God knows what she might do.
Yes, to us! Yes.
You'd better go and find Dr Whittaker.
Tell him everything and show him your arm.
He can't ignore that.
How am I going to get there? Take the wagon.
Drive that thing? You'll love it! No, you can't go back in that house on your own.
She won't do anything to me if Alicia's there.
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
(GEARS GRIND) Oh, bloody hell! (GEARS CONTINUE TO GRIND) Hello? Alicia? Mrs Kellaway? It's really quite nasty.
Could you hold onto that, please? Don't you think Mrs Potts' behaviour is suspicious? Eccentric perhaps.
But I'm sorry, there's no conceivable motive.
It doesn't make any sense.
Poisoners are weird, they don't always need a motive.
They just enjoy being clever, you know.
Dropping a pill in someone's drink and standing by looking innocent, waiting for them to die.
No.
No, I'm sorry.
(Sunlight).
Yes! (FOOTSTEPS) Oh, it's you! I thought you were Mrs Potts.
What are you doing up here? I I was looking for you.
I came to warn you.
Do you mind if I sit down? I feel quite weak.
What did you want to warn me about? Your housekeeper, Mrs Potts.
Really? Do go on.
I'm so sorry, doctor.
You must think we're a pair of hysterical women.
It's quite understandable.
You're in a highly-charged emotional state anyway, then you see an elderly woman who you think looks Ah, Mrs Thyme.
Call for you.
Excuse me.
Hello? Hello, Mum.
It's Matthew.
I looked into that Mrs Kettle for you.
The police in Norfolk kept an eye on her for a time they knew she was guilty, never mind what the jury said.
Then a few years later, her daughter started getting into trouble a couple of assaults on teachers, one of them quite nasty.
Anyway, Mrs Kettle sold up and moved away that was 25 years ago.
They've heard nothing from her since.
Ah, well, thanks, Matt.
It was probably a false alarm anyway.
Alicia skipped her probation, so if you do come across them Yes, yeah, I'll turn her in.
What did you say? I said if you do come across them what? What did you say? Alicia.
Alicia Kettle.
Mum? Mum? Oh, my God.
Alicia is her daughter! This is very disturbing, Rosemary.
I'll say it is.
I think we'll have to confront Mrs Potts with what you've told me.
We? Now? Better to get it out in the open.
(PRESSES BUZZER) Don't you think? Yes I suppose so.
They're at Winterbourne Manor.
Yes, she might be.
OK, thank you.
They're sending a patrol car as soon as they can.
This is probably exactly what Alicia and her mother wanted.
They weren't going to kill Daniel, oh, no.
That's too risky.
Not with a mum with two dodgy widowhoods behind her.
They were going to drive him into killing himself.
You know what? What? That's probably the only reason she was sleeping with you.
Alicia is my patient, nothing more.
Come on! If she wasn't sleeping with you, she was leading you on.
I'm sorry She wanted to make sure that the main medical witness at the inquest was in no position to make waves.
I mean, it is incredible this, isn't it? Oh, it is, it really is.
Ah, here she comes.
What do you want? This lady's been making all sorts of accusations Mummy.
(MOUTHS) Mummy? Has she now? Has she now? That bit you hadn't worked out.
I knew she'd be trouble.
Deal with her, Mummy.
There's nowhere you can go to, you know.
Go on, Mummy, get her, Mummy! (SCREAMS) HE-EEEELLP! HE-EEELP! AHHH! (POLICE SIRENS) Alicia Their problem was that Sam would have still been in charge of the business, even after they'd finished off Daniel.
So Mrs Potts was dosing him up at every opportunity with herb tea, made from foxglove leaves.
Along with the digitalis-based drug that Dr Whittaker was giving him, it probably would have doubled the dose.
It gave him a heart attack while he was driving.
I'm not surprised no-one could work it out.
I had to go all the way to the University of Kuala Lumpur's Department of Forestry.
Apparently it's a fungus only found in the rain forest.
How did it get here? As you said, the garden was remodelled by a Malaysian family, so they must have imported a few exotics from their own country and somehow the fungus came with them.
So what's the verdict? Well, you're going to lose three trees, and the rest, including the laburnum, will have to be sprayed once a month for six months.
It's a big job because of their size.
But it'll be worth it.
Oh, yes.
And I think I'll keep the hogweed a useful reminder.
Daniel, I'm so sorry.
How could I have been such a fool? I'll never trust anyone again.
She was so affectionate.
So loving.
I know.
Thank God for trees, eh? Yes, thank God for trees! Well, we'll call by a couple of weeks, see how you're getting on? I should be up and about by then.
Well, I suppose this is what they call freedom.
Me without a job and you without a husband.
You know when Daniel said, "Thank God for trees?" Mm.
I really felt something, I mean trees are not like human beings, are they? I'm really pissed off with human beings.
You're just pissed off with Nick.
Do you know something? You haven't mentioned him for at least half an hour.
That's good, isn't it? (LAUGHS)