Scare PewDiePie (2016) s01e01 Episode Script
Let's Play Doctor
1 - [screaming.]
Ohh-- bloody think that's fun! I'm not having this! How's it going, bros? PewDiePie.
Pew-- Pew-- Pew--Pew-- PewDiePie.
You're about to watch me get the absolute shit scared out of me - Ah! - Oh, my God! Ah! Oh, what the fuck? As I try to play, win, survive the most insane live horror games ever.
Let me out! This show takes what I already do, getting scared of horror games, but taking it to the next level.
[chain saw revving.]
Oh, hell no! A really fucked up level.
- [roars.]
- God! Ah! Oh, this is not cool, man! [screams.]
Ah! Ahh! [high-pitched scream.]
And here's the crazy part, I signed up for this.
- You know the routine.
- No! - Sorry.
- Fuck you.
What the fuck is this? Eh! I have no idea what is going to happen.
Ahh! This is really fucking creepy.
This is fucking stupid.
Or who is going to do it with me.
We're here together, guys.
We can do this! So if you love watching me, PewDiePie, get scared shitless Oh, no! Ah! Ah! You're gonna love "Scare PewDiePie.
" This is gonna be safe, right? Ah! Ah! No! [ominous music.]
[electronic video game music.]
- So we're outside Felix's house.
We're gonna pick him up.
[buzzer sounds.]
Oh! - Sorry.
- That's all right.
Hey, man.
- Hey.
We're starting right away.
- Yeah, it's already started.
How you doing, man? - Good.
Good, good.
We thought we'd start the day with a little behind-the-scenes.
- All right.
- All right? So, Felix, this is Nikki.
She's a big fan.
- Nice to meet you.
- It's so nice to meet you.
- Awesome.
- I, like, love you.
I think you're-- - Oh, stop it.
- So, um, all right.
- Got it! - So she's gonna help us out.
She's a PA, and-- - Cool.
- Anything you want, I will be of service.
- All right.
- Great.
All right.
Thanks, Nikki.
Um, all right, we got that? All right.
So we should get you mic'd up.
Or you want to just step outside.
- I can help him.
- You should just step out here.
Yeah, go next to David.
All right? Um, so this is the beginning of your time in L.
A.
- Yeah.
- That's our director.
- How's it going? - Damon, Felix.
- Good to meet you, Felix.
- Good to meet you.
- I'm Kevin.
I'm the EP.
- All right, so I just walked out of my house and got mobbed by these guys, and they're-- I guess we're starting right away, huh? No breaks.
- I guess we're gonna tell you what we're gonna do today.
What do you think's happening? - Uh, I know I'm gonna meet someone.
Not you.
- Not me? - But someone professional? I mean, that sounded bad-- [laughs.]
I'm sorry.
I meant like a doctor or something.
- Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Today is gonna be a lot of over-filming because it's our first sort of behind-the-scenes moment, and we're not filming any game play until tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- So you ready to go? - Yeah, yeah.
- You have your wallet for the-- ID and all that stuff for the doctors? - Yeah, I do.
- I think we're good to go.
- Awesome.
- Great.
Let's go to the van.
- All right.
Sweet.
[percussive electronic music.]
- How's it going, bros? My name is PewDiePie.
Was that good? That was pretty good.
- That was good.
- That was amazing.
- All right, Felix, tell us what's going on in your mind right now.
Um, being in L.
A.
, Hollywood, it's cool.
I actually got mobbed by paparazzi when I came in.
I don't know why.
- It's 'cause you're so handsome.
- Oh, stop it.
- Do they mob you-- - You're here to, like, boost my ego, I get it.
- No, it's true! [laughter.]
This is, like, the job of my life.
[laughter.]
[dramatic music.]
- I love L.
A.
It's such a cool city.
It's so big, and I feel lost.
I feel small.
- Well, L.
A.
can do that.
- Well, you're not small.
- Okay, thank you.
There's that reassuring again.
- You're huge.
- Okay.
Thank you.
- How would you assess your physical and mental prowess right now? - Well, everyone knows I got the gamer muscles going.
- That's hot.
- Pretty fit.
I could probably run for, like, a few minutes.
Mentally, I probably won't last very long in stressful situations.
In a horror movie, I'm probably the first one to go.
I don't remember last time I went to a doctor.
15 years ago, maybe.
It's been a long time.
I think it's probably good.
I hope we don't find anything weird.
[upbeat electronic music.]
- Uh, the stethoscope is something that we should have for Dr.
Winters.
Is the heart rate monitor installed on Felix? Okay, good.
His heart rate has to stay below 145 beats a minute.
If he goes over that, the doctor says the show is too dangerous.
Remember, Felix thinks this is a real doctor's appointment, but it's actually game play.
- What do you do when you're sick? - We just-- I'm a Swedish Viking.
We just man up and-- - Yeah, you are.
- Uh - You're not afraid of the doctor's, right? - Nah.
No.
No, I'm good.
- What happens if we don't pass? - If we don't pass, I'm back to Sweden.
- Well, I mean, it's not "we.
" It's you.
- But I thought you guys were-- we're a team.
- I'm on your team.
Always.
- Okay.
Good.
- You're gonna be perfect.
- This is the back of the hospital? - Yes.
- Okay.
That looks creepy.
[chuckles.]
What the fuck? Whoa.
[heartbeat pulsating.]
[tense music.]
[indistinct announcement on PA.]
- Hello.
Hi.
I'm Kevin.
We have an appointment at 3:00 for Felix.
- Oh, great.
- Sorry we're late.
- Okay, great.
- Thank you.
- Oh, good.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Kathy.
Are you Mr.
Kjellberg? - Nice to meet you.
Felix, yeah.
- Hi.
I'm your medical liaison for today.
I have some forms for you to fill out.
Will you-- - Okay.
- If you have any questions, just let me know.
- All right.
- Okay? - Okay.
How do I do this? - Need help? - No.
I'm-- I think I-- Well, so far, so good.
- So far, so good.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Bathroom? - Yeah.
- Is your name Kjellberg? I think it's gonna be "no" on, like, everything.
- [giggles.]
Well, 'cause you're perfect.
You're like a unicorn.
- A unicorn.
I like that.
- And you're my unicorn.
All right, so you want to put your name here.
- Okay.
- And you--yeah.
- No, I can do it.
- Like, right here.
[heartbeat pulsating.]
[Felix chuckles.]
- You have the best hair I've ever seen.
- No, I don't.
- [laughs.]
You do! You smell so good.
- Oh, thank you.
[heartbeat pulsates rapidly.]
- Nikki, can you just let him fill it out? - What? - It's private information.
- What? He's my friend.
- [chuckles.]
- Nikki-- - What-- - Um-- - He's not your friend.
- I agree, this is private stuff.
- It's private stuff.
- Yes.
- You're completely messing up my-- - What? - You're messing everything up.
- All right, you know what? Come with me.
You don't talk like that.
Let's go.
- Kevin.
- Yeah, well, come here.
- No, this is so fucked up.
You just completely ruined my whole life.
Thanks for nothing.
No, fuck-- What the fuckin' A? How the fuck am I gonna get out of here? I don't even want to be-- Jesus.
[tense music.]
- All right.
[chuckles.]
- I just didn't want her looking at you-- You know, it's like personal space.
- I think it was-- Oh, no.
- I-- I don't know if I used those words, but I was like-- - Oh, I didn't say-- - I-I've given her plenty of warnings.
If it's day-- if it's day one, like that, I mean, what's day seven? - Um, okay, the doctor is ready to see you.
I'll go ahead and take you right back.
Okay? - All right.
- Can we go with them and-- - Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
For patient confidentiality, you guys cannot go further than this room.
- All right.
Good luck, man.
- Thank you.
- All right, we'll see you in a sec.
- All right.
- Thank you.
You too.
- Okay, right this way, sir.
- Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
All right.
All right, go ahead and have a seat on that exam room table, please.
- Can I put these down here? - Yeah, of course.
- Have a seat here? - Uh, yeah.
All right.
Have you had anything to eat or drink today? - Yeah.
- All right.
[alarm blaring.]
- Uh, it's just a-- it's just a code yellow.
It's not anything to be alarmed with.
Just sometimes we have people get into restricted areas.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
It's been resolved.
The doctor will be in shortly.
Okay? - Sounds good.
- Okay, great.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
We're clear.
Yes, we're clear.
- Okay.
- All right, I'm waiting for the doctor and I'm alone in this room.
It's really weird.
Uh, I don't think I can film the actual thing, but I'll tell you how it goes.
All right.
Great.
Right room? - Hello.
- Hi.
- And you are? - Felix.
- Felix.
- Yes.
- I am, uh-- I'm Dr.
Winters.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
How are you today? - I'm good.
- Yeah.
And you are here for? - My exam.
- Physical exam? - Physical exam.
Yeah.
- Your physical exam? Okay, great.
Everything regular with you? Everything is good? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- How are you? - I'm--I'm doing pretty well.
It's been quite a day, as-- - Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
Um, so-- can you look up? Up.
And open your mouth.
Stick out your tongue.
Good.
L-looks very good.
Have you been eating well? - Uh, trying to.
- Looks good.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, it looks good.
You been healthy? - I try.
- Yeah.
[alarm blaring.]
- What is that? - Um, I'm not exactly sure, but I should probably go take a look at something.
- Okay.
- I will need a little bit of blood and fluids from you, so I'll be right back with-- with some of that.
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay, I'll be back.
Don't move.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
Give me just a couple minutes.
- All right, hey, Mr.
Kjellberg, how you doing? - Good.
How are you? - All right.
Sorry about the delay.
Couldn't find my coat.
I'm Dr.
Winters.
- What's that? - I'm Dr.
Winters.
How are you? - Good.
- Good.
All right, uh, just here for a regular insurance checkup, right? All right, how are you feeling? - Weirded out.
[chuckles.]
- How do you feel, medically? - Oh, uh, fine.
- Yeah? Let me check your heart.
All right, breathe in.
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
Let it out.
Okay, your heart's beating kind of fast.
Anything bothering you? What--you've got a rapid heartbeat.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I had a really weird day.
- A weird day? - Yeah.
- Just today? - Yeah.
- Oh, Mr.
Kjellberg, you been playing in my sticks? - [laughs.]
No, there was another guy who came in before you.
- Um there was another guy that came in before me? - Yeah, and a girl.
- Okay.
Open mouth, please.
Tongue out.
- Okay.
- "Ah.
" "Ah.
" - Ah.
- Just look up.
No, keep your mouth open.
Okay.
Do me another favor.
Sit up tall.
- Oh.
- Oh, that's the guy.
- Hi.
- Hello and-- - Dr.
Winters.
Uh, have you seen the patient already? - Uh, yes.
I'm sorry, what are you doing here? - I'm doing a follow-up consult.
Uh, Mr.
Kjellberg, is this the man that you saw before? - Uh-huh.
- He's the doctor that you saw before? - Uh-huh.
- Okay.
Um, let me just ask you a few questions about what you and he had gone over.
You are-- - Going to take some fluid samples.
- Gonna take some fluid samples.
Okay.
- Send it off to the lab, yeah.
- Okay, that's fine.
Did you have any diagnosis that you thought about his original exam? - Uh, he's--he's-- [buzzer sounds.]
- All right.
All right.
I just want-- - Ahh! No! Don't touch me! - Drop the needle! - Okay, I'm cool.
I'm cool.
[grunting.]
- Larry, Larry, calm down! Calm down.
- Wah! - Calm down, Larry.
- Sorry, Mr.
Kjellberg.
It's just one of the hazards of working in this kind of facility.
Unfortunately, sometimes people wander off where they shouldn't wander off.
He's actually wearing my coat.
He's not a doctor.
He's actually a patient here.
- Oh.
- So I apologize.
Did he touch you? - Yeah.
- Did he do anything inappropriate? - No.
He came for-- like, he wanted to take blood or whatever.
- Okay, he didn't stick you with anything, did he? - No.
No, no, no.
- Okay.
Sorry you had to experience that.
- Yeah.
- I know you're doing the psych today, so let me see if Dr.
Callahan is ready for you and then I'll come back and get you.
All right.
If something like that happens again, that red button is there.
- Okay.
Okay, I'm still doing the exam.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
American hospitals are fucking weird, all right? [man shouting and grunting.]
- This day is so weird.
- All right, you all set? - Are we good? - I think we're good.
- Oh, great.
- Dr.
Callahan is ready for you.
- I'm good to go.
Oh, it's here? - Dr.
C? - Hi.
- This is Mr.
Kjellberg.
- Hey.
- Mr.
Kjellberg, Dr.
Callahan.
- How are you, Mr.
Cambridge? - Cambridge? Kjellberg.
- Kjellberg.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
- "Shellberg.
" I apologize.
- Oh, it's fine.
No worries.
- I'll leave you guys to it.
- Have a seat.
- All right, thank you.
- Basically, I'm just gonna show you some images - Okay.
- And think of it as kind of free association.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm gonna take you through some screens and ask you your opinion on what you see.
- Uh-huh.
- What do you think of when you see that first image? Is it on your screen? - Yes.
Uh, looks like a devil.
A head of a devil.
- Hmm.
That's interesting.
And now I'm gonna have you actually pick one of the two words that's on the screen that speaks to you.
- Okay.
- Pain or healing? - That's pain.
- I'm gonna let you know that that particular answer concerns me, but we'll deal with that another time.
- Okay.
- Weapon or utensil? - Weapon? - There's no blood on there.
It's just a knife.
- It looks-- looks placed weird.
- I'll take weapon.
- Okay.
- How are you feeling right now? - Strange.
- Interesting.
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
When you see this image, are you not afraid, which would be a zero or a one, all the way up to very afraid and concerned to a ten? - Five.
- Five.
- Mm-hmm.
[eerie music.]
I'm gonna go with a-- - I-I know it's difficult, but I kind of need you to really get into the mode of what you're seeing here.
- Um, three.
- Interesting.
You're finished.
How do you feel? - All right.
- Interesting, isn't it? - Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
Okay, anything you want to tell me? - Anything I want to tell you? - Yeah.
- Um No? - Okay, well, my work is done here.
Someone else will be in right away to check on you.
Good luck.
[alarm blaring.]
[man shouting.]
- All right.
You should-- - Get out of here! - Okay, okay, okay.
- Poison me? - What is that? Dude, okay.
- I'm gonna poison them.
[buzzer sounding.]
Stay here! Oh! Sorry.
Sorry.
Are you with me? Help me.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Stand up and help me.
Stand up.
- Just-- put that down.
[alarm beeping.]
- They're trying to hurt me.
They poison my brain.
They play games with me.
No! Get back! [yelling indistinctly.]
I'm not going with you! - Calm down.
- I'm not going with you! - Take a breath.
- Calm down.
- Take a breath.
There.
Calm down.
Calm down.
- Are you okay? Take a seat.
Take a seat, buddy.
Take a seat.
- Turn over! Turn over! - Hold him down.
Did he touch you? - Yeah.
No? - Where? - No.
I'm good.
- You get any of his stuff on you? - No.
- You got him? [heartbeat pulsating.]
- Get in the other chair.
Get in the other chair.
Get in the other chair now! [alarm beeping.]
Clear the hallway! Everyone clear the hall! Clear the hall! - What the fuck? - Nurses, back to your stations.
Clear the hallway.
Did you get any of this biohazard material on you, sir? - I don't think so.
- Are you sure? Okay, can you please stand up? Are you feeling dizzy or lightheaded? - No.
- Can you hear me, sir? - Yes.
- Are you feeling nauseous? - I don't think so.
- See.
You're incredibly dilated here.
- It's probably jet lag.
- Did you get any vapor in your nose while he was in here? - No.
- Are you sure? - No.
- Okay.
I need you to blow out through your nostrils really hard.
- [laughs.]
What? - I need you to blow out through your nostrils-- - Where? - Right here.
Just into my hand.
Just do it, sir.
Do it! - [laughs.]
I can't do it.
- Sir, I don't want to be the Texas Ebola nurse.
Come on, hurry! - Okay.
- Hurry! [exhaling sharply.]
Okay, other side.
- The other one? - Other side.
[exhaling sharply.]
- Are we good? - Okay, we need a shower.
Let's go.
- Shower? - Yes.
We need to do a chemical rinse right now, sir.
Right this way.
Come on.
Clear the hall! Clear the hall! All right, right this way.
I-I think you actually have some blood matter on your shoe, sir.
- Yes.
- Okay, under the hood.
Under that orange hood right there, sir.
Okay.
All right, ready? - No.
What is going on? [alarm beeping.]
- All right.
How are you feeling? - I don't know.
- How many fingers am I holding up? - Two fingers.
- Okay, very good.
- Yes.
- All right, come have a seat.
Have a seat, sir.
Okay, I'm gonna go and get the doctor, okay? You sit tight.
Okay? [dramatic music.]
- I don't-- What the-- [jazzy music.]
- All right, Mr.
"Kellberg.
" - It's "Shellberg.
" - Follow me.
- Can I go? - I think we're good.
- All right, nice to meet you, Mr.
Kjellberg.
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.
- Dr.
Davis, telephone, please.
Dr.
Davis, telephone call, please.
- What happened? - What? There's a guy and-- I don't know.
American hospitals, man.
- They had patients who are in restricted areas? Like, what the fuck is that? - They even mentioned Ebola, and I'm like, "What the fuck?" I'm pretty sure I don't have Ebola.
All right.
This fucking thing on my shoe.
[dramatic music.]
I just--just want to go.
[engine turns over, car starts.]
I want to go home.
- All right, so let's talk about the day.
- [laughs.]
Well, first, the girl-- - Hey! What you trying to run me over for? - Get out of here! [glass shatters.]
What's wrong with you? Get out of here! - Just pull away, man.
- I'll sue your ass! - You're not gonna sue nothing.
- Hey, bitch! I'll sue you guys.
- Whoa.
Jeez.
- Back up.
- Okay.
All right.
- Hey, whoa, whoa.
- Hey, what the fuck is going on? - Um, all right.
- Get out of here! What the fuck? Get out! [alarm beeping.]
What the fuck? - Go! - Can we drive? - Get in the car! - Lock the door.
- Hey, all you guys.
I'm gonna sue you, dude.
[tires squeal.]
- Is this, like, a bad neighborhood? [dramatic music.]
- Can you believe that? - Oh, my God.
- This is supposed to be part of the thing, right? - What thing? - That we're doing tomorrow.
- Is this part of it? - This was just the intro and the psych test.
- What about Nikki? - No, she was supposed to be on for the whole production, but she's gone.
- [laughs.]
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
Weirdest day ever.
[chuckles.]
All right, I think I passed the exam.
It's been a long day.
It's been really weird, but it's over for now, and I'm gonna go and sleep for tomorrow, 'cause then we're doing-- I don't even know.
[chuckles.]
But as always, stay awesome, bros.
[eerie music.]
How's it going? I'm here in L.
A.
, dancing it up.
Yeah.
And then left.
[jazzy music.]
Then move.
Ohh-- bloody think that's fun! I'm not having this! How's it going, bros? PewDiePie.
Pew-- Pew-- Pew--Pew-- PewDiePie.
You're about to watch me get the absolute shit scared out of me - Ah! - Oh, my God! Ah! Oh, what the fuck? As I try to play, win, survive the most insane live horror games ever.
Let me out! This show takes what I already do, getting scared of horror games, but taking it to the next level.
[chain saw revving.]
Oh, hell no! A really fucked up level.
- [roars.]
- God! Ah! Oh, this is not cool, man! [screams.]
Ah! Ahh! [high-pitched scream.]
And here's the crazy part, I signed up for this.
- You know the routine.
- No! - Sorry.
- Fuck you.
What the fuck is this? Eh! I have no idea what is going to happen.
Ahh! This is really fucking creepy.
This is fucking stupid.
Or who is going to do it with me.
We're here together, guys.
We can do this! So if you love watching me, PewDiePie, get scared shitless Oh, no! Ah! Ah! You're gonna love "Scare PewDiePie.
" This is gonna be safe, right? Ah! Ah! No! [ominous music.]
[electronic video game music.]
- So we're outside Felix's house.
We're gonna pick him up.
[buzzer sounds.]
Oh! - Sorry.
- That's all right.
Hey, man.
- Hey.
We're starting right away.
- Yeah, it's already started.
How you doing, man? - Good.
Good, good.
We thought we'd start the day with a little behind-the-scenes.
- All right.
- All right? So, Felix, this is Nikki.
She's a big fan.
- Nice to meet you.
- It's so nice to meet you.
- Awesome.
- I, like, love you.
I think you're-- - Oh, stop it.
- So, um, all right.
- Got it! - So she's gonna help us out.
She's a PA, and-- - Cool.
- Anything you want, I will be of service.
- All right.
- Great.
All right.
Thanks, Nikki.
Um, all right, we got that? All right.
So we should get you mic'd up.
Or you want to just step outside.
- I can help him.
- You should just step out here.
Yeah, go next to David.
All right? Um, so this is the beginning of your time in L.
A.
- Yeah.
- That's our director.
- How's it going? - Damon, Felix.
- Good to meet you, Felix.
- Good to meet you.
- I'm Kevin.
I'm the EP.
- All right, so I just walked out of my house and got mobbed by these guys, and they're-- I guess we're starting right away, huh? No breaks.
- I guess we're gonna tell you what we're gonna do today.
What do you think's happening? - Uh, I know I'm gonna meet someone.
Not you.
- Not me? - But someone professional? I mean, that sounded bad-- [laughs.]
I'm sorry.
I meant like a doctor or something.
- Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Today is gonna be a lot of over-filming because it's our first sort of behind-the-scenes moment, and we're not filming any game play until tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- So you ready to go? - Yeah, yeah.
- You have your wallet for the-- ID and all that stuff for the doctors? - Yeah, I do.
- I think we're good to go.
- Awesome.
- Great.
Let's go to the van.
- All right.
Sweet.
[percussive electronic music.]
- How's it going, bros? My name is PewDiePie.
Was that good? That was pretty good.
- That was good.
- That was amazing.
- All right, Felix, tell us what's going on in your mind right now.
Um, being in L.
A.
, Hollywood, it's cool.
I actually got mobbed by paparazzi when I came in.
I don't know why.
- It's 'cause you're so handsome.
- Oh, stop it.
- Do they mob you-- - You're here to, like, boost my ego, I get it.
- No, it's true! [laughter.]
This is, like, the job of my life.
[laughter.]
[dramatic music.]
- I love L.
A.
It's such a cool city.
It's so big, and I feel lost.
I feel small.
- Well, L.
A.
can do that.
- Well, you're not small.
- Okay, thank you.
There's that reassuring again.
- You're huge.
- Okay.
Thank you.
- How would you assess your physical and mental prowess right now? - Well, everyone knows I got the gamer muscles going.
- That's hot.
- Pretty fit.
I could probably run for, like, a few minutes.
Mentally, I probably won't last very long in stressful situations.
In a horror movie, I'm probably the first one to go.
I don't remember last time I went to a doctor.
15 years ago, maybe.
It's been a long time.
I think it's probably good.
I hope we don't find anything weird.
[upbeat electronic music.]
- Uh, the stethoscope is something that we should have for Dr.
Winters.
Is the heart rate monitor installed on Felix? Okay, good.
His heart rate has to stay below 145 beats a minute.
If he goes over that, the doctor says the show is too dangerous.
Remember, Felix thinks this is a real doctor's appointment, but it's actually game play.
- What do you do when you're sick? - We just-- I'm a Swedish Viking.
We just man up and-- - Yeah, you are.
- Uh - You're not afraid of the doctor's, right? - Nah.
No.
No, I'm good.
- What happens if we don't pass? - If we don't pass, I'm back to Sweden.
- Well, I mean, it's not "we.
" It's you.
- But I thought you guys were-- we're a team.
- I'm on your team.
Always.
- Okay.
Good.
- You're gonna be perfect.
- This is the back of the hospital? - Yes.
- Okay.
That looks creepy.
[chuckles.]
What the fuck? Whoa.
[heartbeat pulsating.]
[tense music.]
[indistinct announcement on PA.]
- Hello.
Hi.
I'm Kevin.
We have an appointment at 3:00 for Felix.
- Oh, great.
- Sorry we're late.
- Okay, great.
- Thank you.
- Oh, good.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Kathy.
Are you Mr.
Kjellberg? - Nice to meet you.
Felix, yeah.
- Hi.
I'm your medical liaison for today.
I have some forms for you to fill out.
Will you-- - Okay.
- If you have any questions, just let me know.
- All right.
- Okay? - Okay.
How do I do this? - Need help? - No.
I'm-- I think I-- Well, so far, so good.
- So far, so good.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Bathroom? - Yeah.
- Is your name Kjellberg? I think it's gonna be "no" on, like, everything.
- [giggles.]
Well, 'cause you're perfect.
You're like a unicorn.
- A unicorn.
I like that.
- And you're my unicorn.
All right, so you want to put your name here.
- Okay.
- And you--yeah.
- No, I can do it.
- Like, right here.
[heartbeat pulsating.]
[Felix chuckles.]
- You have the best hair I've ever seen.
- No, I don't.
- [laughs.]
You do! You smell so good.
- Oh, thank you.
[heartbeat pulsates rapidly.]
- Nikki, can you just let him fill it out? - What? - It's private information.
- What? He's my friend.
- [chuckles.]
- Nikki-- - What-- - Um-- - He's not your friend.
- I agree, this is private stuff.
- It's private stuff.
- Yes.
- You're completely messing up my-- - What? - You're messing everything up.
- All right, you know what? Come with me.
You don't talk like that.
Let's go.
- Kevin.
- Yeah, well, come here.
- No, this is so fucked up.
You just completely ruined my whole life.
Thanks for nothing.
No, fuck-- What the fuckin' A? How the fuck am I gonna get out of here? I don't even want to be-- Jesus.
[tense music.]
- All right.
[chuckles.]
- I just didn't want her looking at you-- You know, it's like personal space.
- I think it was-- Oh, no.
- I-- I don't know if I used those words, but I was like-- - Oh, I didn't say-- - I-I've given her plenty of warnings.
If it's day-- if it's day one, like that, I mean, what's day seven? - Um, okay, the doctor is ready to see you.
I'll go ahead and take you right back.
Okay? - All right.
- Can we go with them and-- - Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
For patient confidentiality, you guys cannot go further than this room.
- All right.
Good luck, man.
- Thank you.
- All right, we'll see you in a sec.
- All right.
- Thank you.
You too.
- Okay, right this way, sir.
- Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
All right.
All right, go ahead and have a seat on that exam room table, please.
- Can I put these down here? - Yeah, of course.
- Have a seat here? - Uh, yeah.
All right.
Have you had anything to eat or drink today? - Yeah.
- All right.
[alarm blaring.]
- Uh, it's just a-- it's just a code yellow.
It's not anything to be alarmed with.
Just sometimes we have people get into restricted areas.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
It's been resolved.
The doctor will be in shortly.
Okay? - Sounds good.
- Okay, great.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
We're clear.
Yes, we're clear.
- Okay.
- All right, I'm waiting for the doctor and I'm alone in this room.
It's really weird.
Uh, I don't think I can film the actual thing, but I'll tell you how it goes.
All right.
Great.
Right room? - Hello.
- Hi.
- And you are? - Felix.
- Felix.
- Yes.
- I am, uh-- I'm Dr.
Winters.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
How are you today? - I'm good.
- Yeah.
And you are here for? - My exam.
- Physical exam? - Physical exam.
Yeah.
- Your physical exam? Okay, great.
Everything regular with you? Everything is good? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- How are you? - I'm--I'm doing pretty well.
It's been quite a day, as-- - Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
Um, so-- can you look up? Up.
And open your mouth.
Stick out your tongue.
Good.
L-looks very good.
Have you been eating well? - Uh, trying to.
- Looks good.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, it looks good.
You been healthy? - I try.
- Yeah.
[alarm blaring.]
- What is that? - Um, I'm not exactly sure, but I should probably go take a look at something.
- Okay.
- I will need a little bit of blood and fluids from you, so I'll be right back with-- with some of that.
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay, I'll be back.
Don't move.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
Give me just a couple minutes.
- All right, hey, Mr.
Kjellberg, how you doing? - Good.
How are you? - All right.
Sorry about the delay.
Couldn't find my coat.
I'm Dr.
Winters.
- What's that? - I'm Dr.
Winters.
How are you? - Good.
- Good.
All right, uh, just here for a regular insurance checkup, right? All right, how are you feeling? - Weirded out.
[chuckles.]
- How do you feel, medically? - Oh, uh, fine.
- Yeah? Let me check your heart.
All right, breathe in.
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
Let it out.
Okay, your heart's beating kind of fast.
Anything bothering you? What--you've got a rapid heartbeat.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I had a really weird day.
- A weird day? - Yeah.
- Just today? - Yeah.
- Oh, Mr.
Kjellberg, you been playing in my sticks? - [laughs.]
No, there was another guy who came in before you.
- Um there was another guy that came in before me? - Yeah, and a girl.
- Okay.
Open mouth, please.
Tongue out.
- Okay.
- "Ah.
" "Ah.
" - Ah.
- Just look up.
No, keep your mouth open.
Okay.
Do me another favor.
Sit up tall.
- Oh.
- Oh, that's the guy.
- Hi.
- Hello and-- - Dr.
Winters.
Uh, have you seen the patient already? - Uh, yes.
I'm sorry, what are you doing here? - I'm doing a follow-up consult.
Uh, Mr.
Kjellberg, is this the man that you saw before? - Uh-huh.
- He's the doctor that you saw before? - Uh-huh.
- Okay.
Um, let me just ask you a few questions about what you and he had gone over.
You are-- - Going to take some fluid samples.
- Gonna take some fluid samples.
Okay.
- Send it off to the lab, yeah.
- Okay, that's fine.
Did you have any diagnosis that you thought about his original exam? - Uh, he's--he's-- [buzzer sounds.]
- All right.
All right.
I just want-- - Ahh! No! Don't touch me! - Drop the needle! - Okay, I'm cool.
I'm cool.
[grunting.]
- Larry, Larry, calm down! Calm down.
- Wah! - Calm down, Larry.
- Sorry, Mr.
Kjellberg.
It's just one of the hazards of working in this kind of facility.
Unfortunately, sometimes people wander off where they shouldn't wander off.
He's actually wearing my coat.
He's not a doctor.
He's actually a patient here.
- Oh.
- So I apologize.
Did he touch you? - Yeah.
- Did he do anything inappropriate? - No.
He came for-- like, he wanted to take blood or whatever.
- Okay, he didn't stick you with anything, did he? - No.
No, no, no.
- Okay.
Sorry you had to experience that.
- Yeah.
- I know you're doing the psych today, so let me see if Dr.
Callahan is ready for you and then I'll come back and get you.
All right.
If something like that happens again, that red button is there.
- Okay.
Okay, I'm still doing the exam.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
American hospitals are fucking weird, all right? [man shouting and grunting.]
- This day is so weird.
- All right, you all set? - Are we good? - I think we're good.
- Oh, great.
- Dr.
Callahan is ready for you.
- I'm good to go.
Oh, it's here? - Dr.
C? - Hi.
- This is Mr.
Kjellberg.
- Hey.
- Mr.
Kjellberg, Dr.
Callahan.
- How are you, Mr.
Cambridge? - Cambridge? Kjellberg.
- Kjellberg.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
- "Shellberg.
" I apologize.
- Oh, it's fine.
No worries.
- I'll leave you guys to it.
- Have a seat.
- All right, thank you.
- Basically, I'm just gonna show you some images - Okay.
- And think of it as kind of free association.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm gonna take you through some screens and ask you your opinion on what you see.
- Uh-huh.
- What do you think of when you see that first image? Is it on your screen? - Yes.
Uh, looks like a devil.
A head of a devil.
- Hmm.
That's interesting.
And now I'm gonna have you actually pick one of the two words that's on the screen that speaks to you.
- Okay.
- Pain or healing? - That's pain.
- I'm gonna let you know that that particular answer concerns me, but we'll deal with that another time.
- Okay.
- Weapon or utensil? - Weapon? - There's no blood on there.
It's just a knife.
- It looks-- looks placed weird.
- I'll take weapon.
- Okay.
- How are you feeling right now? - Strange.
- Interesting.
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
When you see this image, are you not afraid, which would be a zero or a one, all the way up to very afraid and concerned to a ten? - Five.
- Five.
- Mm-hmm.
[eerie music.]
I'm gonna go with a-- - I-I know it's difficult, but I kind of need you to really get into the mode of what you're seeing here.
- Um, three.
- Interesting.
You're finished.
How do you feel? - All right.
- Interesting, isn't it? - Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
Okay, anything you want to tell me? - Anything I want to tell you? - Yeah.
- Um No? - Okay, well, my work is done here.
Someone else will be in right away to check on you.
Good luck.
[alarm blaring.]
[man shouting.]
- All right.
You should-- - Get out of here! - Okay, okay, okay.
- Poison me? - What is that? Dude, okay.
- I'm gonna poison them.
[buzzer sounding.]
Stay here! Oh! Sorry.
Sorry.
Are you with me? Help me.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Stand up and help me.
Stand up.
- Just-- put that down.
[alarm beeping.]
- They're trying to hurt me.
They poison my brain.
They play games with me.
No! Get back! [yelling indistinctly.]
I'm not going with you! - Calm down.
- I'm not going with you! - Take a breath.
- Calm down.
- Take a breath.
There.
Calm down.
Calm down.
- Are you okay? Take a seat.
Take a seat, buddy.
Take a seat.
- Turn over! Turn over! - Hold him down.
Did he touch you? - Yeah.
No? - Where? - No.
I'm good.
- You get any of his stuff on you? - No.
- You got him? [heartbeat pulsating.]
- Get in the other chair.
Get in the other chair.
Get in the other chair now! [alarm beeping.]
Clear the hallway! Everyone clear the hall! Clear the hall! - What the fuck? - Nurses, back to your stations.
Clear the hallway.
Did you get any of this biohazard material on you, sir? - I don't think so.
- Are you sure? Okay, can you please stand up? Are you feeling dizzy or lightheaded? - No.
- Can you hear me, sir? - Yes.
- Are you feeling nauseous? - I don't think so.
- See.
You're incredibly dilated here.
- It's probably jet lag.
- Did you get any vapor in your nose while he was in here? - No.
- Are you sure? - No.
- Okay.
I need you to blow out through your nostrils really hard.
- [laughs.]
What? - I need you to blow out through your nostrils-- - Where? - Right here.
Just into my hand.
Just do it, sir.
Do it! - [laughs.]
I can't do it.
- Sir, I don't want to be the Texas Ebola nurse.
Come on, hurry! - Okay.
- Hurry! [exhaling sharply.]
Okay, other side.
- The other one? - Other side.
[exhaling sharply.]
- Are we good? - Okay, we need a shower.
Let's go.
- Shower? - Yes.
We need to do a chemical rinse right now, sir.
Right this way.
Come on.
Clear the hall! Clear the hall! All right, right this way.
I-I think you actually have some blood matter on your shoe, sir.
- Yes.
- Okay, under the hood.
Under that orange hood right there, sir.
Okay.
All right, ready? - No.
What is going on? [alarm beeping.]
- All right.
How are you feeling? - I don't know.
- How many fingers am I holding up? - Two fingers.
- Okay, very good.
- Yes.
- All right, come have a seat.
Have a seat, sir.
Okay, I'm gonna go and get the doctor, okay? You sit tight.
Okay? [dramatic music.]
- I don't-- What the-- [jazzy music.]
- All right, Mr.
"Kellberg.
" - It's "Shellberg.
" - Follow me.
- Can I go? - I think we're good.
- All right, nice to meet you, Mr.
Kjellberg.
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.
- Dr.
Davis, telephone, please.
Dr.
Davis, telephone call, please.
- What happened? - What? There's a guy and-- I don't know.
American hospitals, man.
- They had patients who are in restricted areas? Like, what the fuck is that? - They even mentioned Ebola, and I'm like, "What the fuck?" I'm pretty sure I don't have Ebola.
All right.
This fucking thing on my shoe.
[dramatic music.]
I just--just want to go.
[engine turns over, car starts.]
I want to go home.
- All right, so let's talk about the day.
- [laughs.]
Well, first, the girl-- - Hey! What you trying to run me over for? - Get out of here! [glass shatters.]
What's wrong with you? Get out of here! - Just pull away, man.
- I'll sue your ass! - You're not gonna sue nothing.
- Hey, bitch! I'll sue you guys.
- Whoa.
Jeez.
- Back up.
- Okay.
All right.
- Hey, whoa, whoa.
- Hey, what the fuck is going on? - Um, all right.
- Get out of here! What the fuck? Get out! [alarm beeping.]
What the fuck? - Go! - Can we drive? - Get in the car! - Lock the door.
- Hey, all you guys.
I'm gonna sue you, dude.
[tires squeal.]
- Is this, like, a bad neighborhood? [dramatic music.]
- Can you believe that? - Oh, my God.
- This is supposed to be part of the thing, right? - What thing? - That we're doing tomorrow.
- Is this part of it? - This was just the intro and the psych test.
- What about Nikki? - No, she was supposed to be on for the whole production, but she's gone.
- [laughs.]
[heartbeat pulsating rapidly.]
Weirdest day ever.
[chuckles.]
All right, I think I passed the exam.
It's been a long day.
It's been really weird, but it's over for now, and I'm gonna go and sleep for tomorrow, 'cause then we're doing-- I don't even know.
[chuckles.]
But as always, stay awesome, bros.
[eerie music.]
How's it going? I'm here in L.
A.
, dancing it up.
Yeah.
And then left.
[jazzy music.]
Then move.