Secrets and Words (2012) s01e01 Episode Script
Love Letters
"This is the first letter I have ever written.
"And I thought I would write it about love.
" Cheers, thanks very much.
Can I have a receipt? Er, we don't normally bother.
I do need one.
I could ask Anthony to do you one properly on the computer.
I'd like one before you go.
Um, do you know what, I haven't got anything that I can Here.
Do you want my autograph on there, love? I don't blame ya, quality paintwork like this.
Who shall I make it out to? "With love, Anthony.
" I'd quite like a Chinese-y one, but do you remember Fat Dave the Plumber? The one who lost all the weight? Yeah, he's got a Chinese one it says, "Big Man, Little Fear.
" But then he got off with that lass who works in the chippy she clocks his tatt, and she pees herself laughing cos apparently it never said what he thought at all.
What did it say? He never found out he threw a moody, and he left.
He's still very sensitive about it, though.
That's why he lost the weight he's never been back in the chippy since.
Seriously! Right.
See you tonight.
School.
Parents' Evening.
You're joking, aren't ya? I've been banned since our Jade was in Year Five, and Maggie accused me of perving over that Miss Dawson! Can you believe that? See ya later.
He just doesn't like me, is all.
Don't do that.
What? I know what you're thinking.
"It wasn't like this with our Keiran Our Keiran was top of his class.
" I wasn't thinking that.
I'm not him, Dad I never will be.
All right, love.
Use the extension lead.
Who says romance is dead, eh? Erm, you're going to hate me now.
I don't want to go on me own.
There's no-one else.
I'm really sorry, sweetheart.
It's Parents' Evening, Lisa, why would you go? Hey, she didn't mean that.
I know it's your worst nightmare, but you're not eight years old any more, nobody can make you stand at the front of the class.
JJ? I'm going.
"T"? 'Hello?' Karen? 'Speaking.
' I thought you was off sick? 'No, I'm fine.
Who's this?' Erm, yeah, It's JJ.
Lisa's husband.
'Hi, JJ.
What is it?' I was hoping that, erm, you could give her a message for me when she comes into the office? 'Lisa's not coming back tonight.
' She isn't? 'No, is there anything' No, I must've made a mistake.
Sorry, I got that wrong.
'OK.
' Yeah, sorry.
'Bye, love.
' Yeah, forget it, sorry.
'Bye.
' Hey! Well, you're better than our Anthony! Gets a tattoo, then goes out for a few pints.
Lucky lady, aren't I? Where's Lisa? Working.
Well, bet Jade and Abbie have been up to no good again, eh? 'You're not eight years old any more.
Nobody can make you stand in front of the class.
' It isn't Abbie's behaviour that worries us most, or the fact that she struggles, academically.
That's what we're here for.
But we can't help, none of us can, if she doesn't even turn up.
What? Her attendance has to improve.
I don't think she's missed a day since Year Four.
Abbie's attendance rate this term is 48%.
Mr Roscoe.
Mr Roscoe.
'He just doesn't like me' 'I can't go tonight.
' 'Where's Lisa?' 'Well, I've got to work' 'You're not eight years old any more, nobody can make you stand in front of the class.
' 'With love, Anthony, Anthony, Anthony' 'You're going to hate me now.
' 'Well, I, I've got to work, Karen's gone home sick.
' You OK? I can't breathe OK, just try and keep calm, OK, take deep breaths in and out.
That's it.
I started having them just before my 40th.
Cheers.
Strange way to celebrate.
It's all a waste of time, innit? Well, it feels like that, sometimes.
I've been doing this 21 years.
I don't know if I've made a jot of difference.
You have to hope you have, don't you? Even if you never find out.
I know what happened.
To your wife and son.
I wouldn't get behind the wheel after a single glass.
If people knew what could happen, if they could see you.
Have you got a family? Just a husband.
Do you know what I thought when they told me? Our Keiran had been going on for ages and ages for me and Claire to take him and our Abbie on the steam train.
Y'know, the East Lancashire Railway? And, erm I put it off and I put it off, cos, well, you just do, don't you? And then, when they told me, the first thing I thought was, "He hasn't been on the train yet.
" Look, thanks, for everything.
I'll hold a good thought for you.
What? What? What did you say? I'll hold a good thought for you.
That's what Claire used to say.
Oh.
Sorry.
Oh, no, no.
It was nice.
It was nice to hear it.
How could you do it? How could you lie to us? I thought you never missed a day.
What are you talking about? Her attendance! 48%! That's rubbish, that.
I never go in for registration, what's the point? But I'm there for lessons, even if my name's not down.
What is the point in being there if nobody realises you're there?! Ant? Mate? I need your help.
What? "T.
" Oh, aye, yeah.
What d'you think? Why "T"? Well, I didn't want to risk anything Chinese-y in the end.
Well, you're not a "T", you're an "A".
Ah, to you, I'm an "A".
So, erm, who're you a "T" to? Do you want a list? "With love, Anthony.
" What's up, mate? Doesn't matter.
She lived in the same block as me.
Lisa.
I didn't know her or nothing, but she heard about Claire and Keiran's accident and she came round.
I was putting Abbie to bed, and she was being a proper pain, and I felt like I was just you know? And then, knock on the door.
Miracle.
That's what it seemed like to me.
Doesn't seem like that now, though.
I need you to read these to me.
Love letters.
To Lisa.
From you? From my best mate.
I found 'em last week.
I need to know what they say.
And I haven't got anybody else I can ask, cos I was going to ask him.
You should read these yourself.
No, don't Fiona! Words are not my strong point.
I mean, can work out words and numbers.
There's eight years of letters there but I can't put together, like, a whole God, it even drives me mad just looking.
I'm not totally thick, I reckon.
It's just that I never Lisa doesn't know how bad it is.
And I don't want her to.
Not now.
God, it even feels well weird just saying it to you.
You're the first person I've told since Claire.
But these are personal, they're private.
I'm her husband! You all right? Just leave it! I could help you, if you want.
I can get away when I've got a free period and we could meet up.
Until you can read these yourself.
I've, erm I've got to work tonight.
It's Karen, she's off again.
I'm getting a bit fed up, but what can you do? Be back about ten.
I can't, can I? If I could, you wouldn't even be here! Is there anywhere you go to empty your head? Somewhere where you feel comfortable and safe? Did you build all this? The houses and the tunnels and everything? Yeah.
It's easy, really.
Well.
Here you are.
Have a seat.
Write me something about trains then.
The colour or the type.
Whatever.
Trains? Yeah.
How's Karen? Feeling any better? Er yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
What was it? She's, erm She's having some tests, actually.
Won't be surprised if she's off again.
Just a quick note to say what for the kids' presents? Thanks.
You're better than you think, you know.
I've not had a milkshake since I was, like, eight.
Do you know what it feels like when somebody's lying to you and you know that they're lying? Yeah, well, I'm not like our Kieran, am I? I'm not perfect.
What's it got to do with Kieran and your mother? Everything's got to do with them.
All right? Here again? Lisa.
I've been here with Lisa.
So this lad, why wasn't he in school? His name's Moz.
And he's been suspended.
Well, you've got a catch there, Abbie! I can see why you've snapped him up.
If I was in school every minute of every day, I'd never see him.
Then see him after school.
Why does it have to be this big secret? Well, cos it does! Why? Cos I knew you'd be like this! Oh, do you know what? I couldn't care less about him.
Well, obviously, I could.
Oh, come on, Abbie, everyone can see that he's a loser, and I don't want him coming round to our house.
Dad! Look, what I care about is whether you go to school or not.
But I hate it! What I care about is you telling me you're going when you're not.
Do you want to get to my age and hardly be able to do anything? Why? What can't you do? Promise me you'll start going again.
Promise me.
Promise.
What's your husband like? Why? Just wondered.
Doesn't matter.
He's lovely.
Is he a big fella? Well, he's not enormous.
But bigger than average, I suppose.
Is he very clever? Yeah.
He is quite clever.
Bet he's dead serious, though, isn't he? No.
He can be really funny.
JJ? JJ? JJ? Hiya! Forgot me purse.
Yeah, I just nipped home to, erm You're a big kid, you, John Joseph.
That's your problem! I can't come here again.
Heh Helen is W W JJ! JJ! Mrs Johnson, her name was.
And she used to go round the class pointing at kids to read, poem at a time.
I was eight.
And when it gets to me, it was this boring poem about a ferry or a ferryman or something, and I couldn't do it, obviously, but instead of moving to the next kid, she tells me get to the front of class and tells me to try harder.
And I did.
I mean, I really did try harder.
But I couldn't get past the first couple of words, and she says to me, "You'll stand at the front of this class "at the beginning and the end of every day "till you can read this whole poem aloud.
" I never set foot in there again.
It's not the approved method.
I told Lisa about it the night we y'know, for the first time.
So when she asked you to talk dirty, that's not what she meant, is it? She said I should've gone back in the next morning and nailed it.
To show Mrs Johnson.
And I knew that was the moment to tell her that that wasn't exactly an option, but Do you think we could meet up one night? There's somewhere we should go.
Trains.
Have you ever even been on the internet? Nah.
Not really techie-type type, you know.
You times all the words in here by a billion and you could still fit them on a single computer.
On a single phone! It's like the world's enormous, and you're living within a few square inches of it.
That's just me, innit? Is it? I'm not saying you should hot-air balloon across the Sahara.
I just think you should be able to apply for a job.
I like my job! Read from a fancy menu.
Nah.
I'm not that keen on eating out.
Work out what time the next bus is.
Ten-to and twenty-past, has been for years! JJ! What?! This isn't about reading or writing, this is about you.
Your whole life is built around avoiding things, and if you put just a little bit of effort into facing them like you have done in the past few weeks, just look what you can do! Don't hold yourself back.
Your face! I don't believe that! I haven't run like that since the '80s.
What if they find out it was me? Oh, yeah, cos that'll be the first thing they'll think of, won't it? Middle-aged couples breaking into libraries.
That's our joyriding.
We did NOT break in.
Exactly.
Oh, my heart's going.
So's mine.
Well, we'd better be, erm What? Going.
Oh, yeah.
You all right? Yeah.
You sure? Yeah.
See you tomorrow, won't I? How could you do that? How could you just not turn up? Dad?! What are you doing? Mr Roscoe, I'm taking detention at the moment.
If there's anything that needs to be discussed, I suggest you make an appointment for a more convenient time.
There's plenty for tea.
Stay down here.
No.
Abbie No.
I'll, erm I'll put it onto trays.
They're starting to ask questions at school about where I go.
You know, you could read those letters now if you really wanted to.
You should go to a class.
A proper one.
You need more than me.
Is this you saying goodbye, then? I don't have to be your teacher to see you.
Don't you ever just want to grab another human being and say, "This is me! Am I OK? Am I all right?" Because no-one says it any more.
No-one says anything.
We could We could go away of a night.
You know Dave? Fat Dave, the plumber? The one who lost all the weight? Yeah.
He's getting married.
Hmm? He's invited me to his stag do this Saturday.
Yeah, it's in Liverpool, but he's got some great deal or something, so there's a hotel and everything.
Oh.
Tony going? Anthony? Yeah.
Is he? Uh.
Fat Dave's getting married! Who told you that? Lisa.
She told Maggie.
Yeah, he is.
And he's having a stag do? Yeah.
Why's he not invited me?! Do you know something? I don't think he likes you, mate.
That's what I heard.
Sorry.
'You could read those letters now, you know 'if you really wanted to.
' 'You need more than me.
' 'Is this you saying goodbye, then?' JJ? JJ? You've got a brother? He got sent down.
That's why we started writing.
Drink driving.
He hit a couple.
They were in their seventies.
It killed them both.
It was ten years ago.
What do you do when someone you love does something so awful? But when I heard that a bloke in my block had lost his family in that way I thought, well, I can do something, can't I? But the closer we got, the more I got to know you and Abbie, I couldn't say anything.
How could I? You'd never have seen me again.
Where is he now? He lives in Oldham.
Doesn't touch a drop.
He wanted to see me.
He was desperate.
I didn't know what to do.
It was Abbie's parents' evening and I didn't want to miss that, I felt terrible.
But Terry's not in a good way, you know, and I couldn't not see him.
I had to.
And I've kept seeing him.
JJ he can't undo what he did.
But you have to go on, don't you? What else can you do? When you knocked on my door, I thought it was a miracle.
But it wasn't, was it? It was just pity and guilt.
No.
That might've been why I knocked, but it wasn't why I stayed.
I'm with you out of love, both of you.
Can't you see that? Isn't that obvious in everything I do? You can't see him again.
Ever.
I'm sorry, JJ, but I have to.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Abbie but I can't abandon him.
Terry needs me too.
You're going to have to live with it.
Anthony? Anthony, mate.
What? You're Anthony to almost everybody, almost all of the time, right? So why did you get that "T" tattooed on your back? Right, look.
If you say "A", right, people think ass, right? But if you say "T", then people think like T-Bird, so That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my whole life.
I thought there was something going on between you and Lisa.
Can you believe that? I thought that you and her were carrying on behind my back.
It's all cos of that "T", mate.
It's cos of the "T".
What are you talking about?! That's sort of why I've been seeing Fiona Taylor.
You know, the teacher.
Do you think that I would do that to Maggie? To you? Well, yeah.
You talk a good game, mate.
Talk! It's talk! Banter! What do you think we're going to do at work all day, talk about Stephen Hawking? I would never, ever cheat on Maggie.
Ever! It might be all right in your marriage, mate, it's not all right in mine! Fi! You shouldn't have come here.
Fi! I'm sorry I didn't turn up.
I can't see you again.
Fi? Page 63.
He's your brother, isn't he? Why've you got that shirt on? I thought I should take you out.
Properly, like.
You know, for a meal.
You eating out?! Why not? You've got an odd button.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I've got a spare one upstairs.
Give me a sec.
OK.
All right, love? Abbie? I'll kill him.
It wasn't Moz.
So who was it, then? Jade.
Jade?! Why would Jade hit you? Cos I hit her.
I thought you two were best-mates? What's happened? No more lies, Abbie.
I want the truth.
She made a joke about the thing between you and Mrs Taylor.
She saw you in the car park just before we came home and then she heard her dad telling her mum.
I'm not sure which one Mrs Taylor is.
Is that why you came into school to see her, then, Dad? Is that why you were mad with her? I bet it was her you took into that cafe and all.
I found Terry's letters weeks ago.
I thought they were love letters.
I thought you were having a thing, so, erm I started seeing her.
You knew they were from Terry as soon as you read them.
No, but I didn't read them, not properly, not at first because I just read little bits of them.
This is pathetic.
No, it's not.
It's pathetic! I promise you, it's the truth.
Where are you going? I'm going to stay at Maggie's.
You can't leave! Lise Mum? Oh, come here.
I haven't finished! I couldn't read those letters because I can hardly read anything.
Or at least I thought I couldn't.
And I couldn't show them to Anthony cos I thought they were from him.
And I couldn't show them to Abbie because Abbie's Abbie.
So, erm I asked Fiona Taylor to tell me what they said.
But she wouldn't.
So she was helping me to read them myself.
Something nearly happened, but it never, right? It never, I promise you, it never.
You can go if you want to go, but But will you just listen to this first, hey? Please, just listen to this first.
Ferry me across the water Do, boatman, do If you've a penny in your purse I'll ferry you.
I have a penny In my purse And my eyes are blue And for that penny In your purse I'll ferry you.
'This is the first letter I have ever written 'and I thought I would write it about love.
'And the reason I'm writing is because you said once 'that you weren't sure you'd made a jot of difference 'but this letter should tell you, you have.
'Yours sincerely, 'John Joseph Rosco.
'I know there won't be no marching band or fireworks or balloons.
'But there'll be a lad choosing to spend the day with my family 'when he could be someplace else and a woman sitting by her brother 'when she could have thrown his letters in the bin 'and a man holding his wife's hand 'knowing she hears him when he says,' "Ferry me across the water "Do, boatman, do.
"You ferry me "And I'll "I'll ferry you".
"And I thought I would write it about love.
" Cheers, thanks very much.
Can I have a receipt? Er, we don't normally bother.
I do need one.
I could ask Anthony to do you one properly on the computer.
I'd like one before you go.
Um, do you know what, I haven't got anything that I can Here.
Do you want my autograph on there, love? I don't blame ya, quality paintwork like this.
Who shall I make it out to? "With love, Anthony.
" I'd quite like a Chinese-y one, but do you remember Fat Dave the Plumber? The one who lost all the weight? Yeah, he's got a Chinese one it says, "Big Man, Little Fear.
" But then he got off with that lass who works in the chippy she clocks his tatt, and she pees herself laughing cos apparently it never said what he thought at all.
What did it say? He never found out he threw a moody, and he left.
He's still very sensitive about it, though.
That's why he lost the weight he's never been back in the chippy since.
Seriously! Right.
See you tonight.
School.
Parents' Evening.
You're joking, aren't ya? I've been banned since our Jade was in Year Five, and Maggie accused me of perving over that Miss Dawson! Can you believe that? See ya later.
He just doesn't like me, is all.
Don't do that.
What? I know what you're thinking.
"It wasn't like this with our Keiran Our Keiran was top of his class.
" I wasn't thinking that.
I'm not him, Dad I never will be.
All right, love.
Use the extension lead.
Who says romance is dead, eh? Erm, you're going to hate me now.
I don't want to go on me own.
There's no-one else.
I'm really sorry, sweetheart.
It's Parents' Evening, Lisa, why would you go? Hey, she didn't mean that.
I know it's your worst nightmare, but you're not eight years old any more, nobody can make you stand at the front of the class.
JJ? I'm going.
"T"? 'Hello?' Karen? 'Speaking.
' I thought you was off sick? 'No, I'm fine.
Who's this?' Erm, yeah, It's JJ.
Lisa's husband.
'Hi, JJ.
What is it?' I was hoping that, erm, you could give her a message for me when she comes into the office? 'Lisa's not coming back tonight.
' She isn't? 'No, is there anything' No, I must've made a mistake.
Sorry, I got that wrong.
'OK.
' Yeah, sorry.
'Bye, love.
' Yeah, forget it, sorry.
'Bye.
' Hey! Well, you're better than our Anthony! Gets a tattoo, then goes out for a few pints.
Lucky lady, aren't I? Where's Lisa? Working.
Well, bet Jade and Abbie have been up to no good again, eh? 'You're not eight years old any more.
Nobody can make you stand in front of the class.
' It isn't Abbie's behaviour that worries us most, or the fact that she struggles, academically.
That's what we're here for.
But we can't help, none of us can, if she doesn't even turn up.
What? Her attendance has to improve.
I don't think she's missed a day since Year Four.
Abbie's attendance rate this term is 48%.
Mr Roscoe.
Mr Roscoe.
'He just doesn't like me' 'I can't go tonight.
' 'Where's Lisa?' 'Well, I've got to work' 'You're not eight years old any more, nobody can make you stand in front of the class.
' 'With love, Anthony, Anthony, Anthony' 'You're going to hate me now.
' 'Well, I, I've got to work, Karen's gone home sick.
' You OK? I can't breathe OK, just try and keep calm, OK, take deep breaths in and out.
That's it.
I started having them just before my 40th.
Cheers.
Strange way to celebrate.
It's all a waste of time, innit? Well, it feels like that, sometimes.
I've been doing this 21 years.
I don't know if I've made a jot of difference.
You have to hope you have, don't you? Even if you never find out.
I know what happened.
To your wife and son.
I wouldn't get behind the wheel after a single glass.
If people knew what could happen, if they could see you.
Have you got a family? Just a husband.
Do you know what I thought when they told me? Our Keiran had been going on for ages and ages for me and Claire to take him and our Abbie on the steam train.
Y'know, the East Lancashire Railway? And, erm I put it off and I put it off, cos, well, you just do, don't you? And then, when they told me, the first thing I thought was, "He hasn't been on the train yet.
" Look, thanks, for everything.
I'll hold a good thought for you.
What? What? What did you say? I'll hold a good thought for you.
That's what Claire used to say.
Oh.
Sorry.
Oh, no, no.
It was nice.
It was nice to hear it.
How could you do it? How could you lie to us? I thought you never missed a day.
What are you talking about? Her attendance! 48%! That's rubbish, that.
I never go in for registration, what's the point? But I'm there for lessons, even if my name's not down.
What is the point in being there if nobody realises you're there?! Ant? Mate? I need your help.
What? "T.
" Oh, aye, yeah.
What d'you think? Why "T"? Well, I didn't want to risk anything Chinese-y in the end.
Well, you're not a "T", you're an "A".
Ah, to you, I'm an "A".
So, erm, who're you a "T" to? Do you want a list? "With love, Anthony.
" What's up, mate? Doesn't matter.
She lived in the same block as me.
Lisa.
I didn't know her or nothing, but she heard about Claire and Keiran's accident and she came round.
I was putting Abbie to bed, and she was being a proper pain, and I felt like I was just you know? And then, knock on the door.
Miracle.
That's what it seemed like to me.
Doesn't seem like that now, though.
I need you to read these to me.
Love letters.
To Lisa.
From you? From my best mate.
I found 'em last week.
I need to know what they say.
And I haven't got anybody else I can ask, cos I was going to ask him.
You should read these yourself.
No, don't Fiona! Words are not my strong point.
I mean, can work out words and numbers.
There's eight years of letters there but I can't put together, like, a whole God, it even drives me mad just looking.
I'm not totally thick, I reckon.
It's just that I never Lisa doesn't know how bad it is.
And I don't want her to.
Not now.
God, it even feels well weird just saying it to you.
You're the first person I've told since Claire.
But these are personal, they're private.
I'm her husband! You all right? Just leave it! I could help you, if you want.
I can get away when I've got a free period and we could meet up.
Until you can read these yourself.
I've, erm I've got to work tonight.
It's Karen, she's off again.
I'm getting a bit fed up, but what can you do? Be back about ten.
I can't, can I? If I could, you wouldn't even be here! Is there anywhere you go to empty your head? Somewhere where you feel comfortable and safe? Did you build all this? The houses and the tunnels and everything? Yeah.
It's easy, really.
Well.
Here you are.
Have a seat.
Write me something about trains then.
The colour or the type.
Whatever.
Trains? Yeah.
How's Karen? Feeling any better? Er yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
What was it? She's, erm She's having some tests, actually.
Won't be surprised if she's off again.
Just a quick note to say what for the kids' presents? Thanks.
You're better than you think, you know.
I've not had a milkshake since I was, like, eight.
Do you know what it feels like when somebody's lying to you and you know that they're lying? Yeah, well, I'm not like our Kieran, am I? I'm not perfect.
What's it got to do with Kieran and your mother? Everything's got to do with them.
All right? Here again? Lisa.
I've been here with Lisa.
So this lad, why wasn't he in school? His name's Moz.
And he's been suspended.
Well, you've got a catch there, Abbie! I can see why you've snapped him up.
If I was in school every minute of every day, I'd never see him.
Then see him after school.
Why does it have to be this big secret? Well, cos it does! Why? Cos I knew you'd be like this! Oh, do you know what? I couldn't care less about him.
Well, obviously, I could.
Oh, come on, Abbie, everyone can see that he's a loser, and I don't want him coming round to our house.
Dad! Look, what I care about is whether you go to school or not.
But I hate it! What I care about is you telling me you're going when you're not.
Do you want to get to my age and hardly be able to do anything? Why? What can't you do? Promise me you'll start going again.
Promise me.
Promise.
What's your husband like? Why? Just wondered.
Doesn't matter.
He's lovely.
Is he a big fella? Well, he's not enormous.
But bigger than average, I suppose.
Is he very clever? Yeah.
He is quite clever.
Bet he's dead serious, though, isn't he? No.
He can be really funny.
JJ? JJ? JJ? Hiya! Forgot me purse.
Yeah, I just nipped home to, erm You're a big kid, you, John Joseph.
That's your problem! I can't come here again.
Heh Helen is W W JJ! JJ! Mrs Johnson, her name was.
And she used to go round the class pointing at kids to read, poem at a time.
I was eight.
And when it gets to me, it was this boring poem about a ferry or a ferryman or something, and I couldn't do it, obviously, but instead of moving to the next kid, she tells me get to the front of class and tells me to try harder.
And I did.
I mean, I really did try harder.
But I couldn't get past the first couple of words, and she says to me, "You'll stand at the front of this class "at the beginning and the end of every day "till you can read this whole poem aloud.
" I never set foot in there again.
It's not the approved method.
I told Lisa about it the night we y'know, for the first time.
So when she asked you to talk dirty, that's not what she meant, is it? She said I should've gone back in the next morning and nailed it.
To show Mrs Johnson.
And I knew that was the moment to tell her that that wasn't exactly an option, but Do you think we could meet up one night? There's somewhere we should go.
Trains.
Have you ever even been on the internet? Nah.
Not really techie-type type, you know.
You times all the words in here by a billion and you could still fit them on a single computer.
On a single phone! It's like the world's enormous, and you're living within a few square inches of it.
That's just me, innit? Is it? I'm not saying you should hot-air balloon across the Sahara.
I just think you should be able to apply for a job.
I like my job! Read from a fancy menu.
Nah.
I'm not that keen on eating out.
Work out what time the next bus is.
Ten-to and twenty-past, has been for years! JJ! What?! This isn't about reading or writing, this is about you.
Your whole life is built around avoiding things, and if you put just a little bit of effort into facing them like you have done in the past few weeks, just look what you can do! Don't hold yourself back.
Your face! I don't believe that! I haven't run like that since the '80s.
What if they find out it was me? Oh, yeah, cos that'll be the first thing they'll think of, won't it? Middle-aged couples breaking into libraries.
That's our joyriding.
We did NOT break in.
Exactly.
Oh, my heart's going.
So's mine.
Well, we'd better be, erm What? Going.
Oh, yeah.
You all right? Yeah.
You sure? Yeah.
See you tomorrow, won't I? How could you do that? How could you just not turn up? Dad?! What are you doing? Mr Roscoe, I'm taking detention at the moment.
If there's anything that needs to be discussed, I suggest you make an appointment for a more convenient time.
There's plenty for tea.
Stay down here.
No.
Abbie No.
I'll, erm I'll put it onto trays.
They're starting to ask questions at school about where I go.
You know, you could read those letters now if you really wanted to.
You should go to a class.
A proper one.
You need more than me.
Is this you saying goodbye, then? I don't have to be your teacher to see you.
Don't you ever just want to grab another human being and say, "This is me! Am I OK? Am I all right?" Because no-one says it any more.
No-one says anything.
We could We could go away of a night.
You know Dave? Fat Dave, the plumber? The one who lost all the weight? Yeah.
He's getting married.
Hmm? He's invited me to his stag do this Saturday.
Yeah, it's in Liverpool, but he's got some great deal or something, so there's a hotel and everything.
Oh.
Tony going? Anthony? Yeah.
Is he? Uh.
Fat Dave's getting married! Who told you that? Lisa.
She told Maggie.
Yeah, he is.
And he's having a stag do? Yeah.
Why's he not invited me?! Do you know something? I don't think he likes you, mate.
That's what I heard.
Sorry.
'You could read those letters now, you know 'if you really wanted to.
' 'You need more than me.
' 'Is this you saying goodbye, then?' JJ? JJ? You've got a brother? He got sent down.
That's why we started writing.
Drink driving.
He hit a couple.
They were in their seventies.
It killed them both.
It was ten years ago.
What do you do when someone you love does something so awful? But when I heard that a bloke in my block had lost his family in that way I thought, well, I can do something, can't I? But the closer we got, the more I got to know you and Abbie, I couldn't say anything.
How could I? You'd never have seen me again.
Where is he now? He lives in Oldham.
Doesn't touch a drop.
He wanted to see me.
He was desperate.
I didn't know what to do.
It was Abbie's parents' evening and I didn't want to miss that, I felt terrible.
But Terry's not in a good way, you know, and I couldn't not see him.
I had to.
And I've kept seeing him.
JJ he can't undo what he did.
But you have to go on, don't you? What else can you do? When you knocked on my door, I thought it was a miracle.
But it wasn't, was it? It was just pity and guilt.
No.
That might've been why I knocked, but it wasn't why I stayed.
I'm with you out of love, both of you.
Can't you see that? Isn't that obvious in everything I do? You can't see him again.
Ever.
I'm sorry, JJ, but I have to.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Abbie but I can't abandon him.
Terry needs me too.
You're going to have to live with it.
Anthony? Anthony, mate.
What? You're Anthony to almost everybody, almost all of the time, right? So why did you get that "T" tattooed on your back? Right, look.
If you say "A", right, people think ass, right? But if you say "T", then people think like T-Bird, so That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my whole life.
I thought there was something going on between you and Lisa.
Can you believe that? I thought that you and her were carrying on behind my back.
It's all cos of that "T", mate.
It's cos of the "T".
What are you talking about?! That's sort of why I've been seeing Fiona Taylor.
You know, the teacher.
Do you think that I would do that to Maggie? To you? Well, yeah.
You talk a good game, mate.
Talk! It's talk! Banter! What do you think we're going to do at work all day, talk about Stephen Hawking? I would never, ever cheat on Maggie.
Ever! It might be all right in your marriage, mate, it's not all right in mine! Fi! You shouldn't have come here.
Fi! I'm sorry I didn't turn up.
I can't see you again.
Fi? Page 63.
He's your brother, isn't he? Why've you got that shirt on? I thought I should take you out.
Properly, like.
You know, for a meal.
You eating out?! Why not? You've got an odd button.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I've got a spare one upstairs.
Give me a sec.
OK.
All right, love? Abbie? I'll kill him.
It wasn't Moz.
So who was it, then? Jade.
Jade?! Why would Jade hit you? Cos I hit her.
I thought you two were best-mates? What's happened? No more lies, Abbie.
I want the truth.
She made a joke about the thing between you and Mrs Taylor.
She saw you in the car park just before we came home and then she heard her dad telling her mum.
I'm not sure which one Mrs Taylor is.
Is that why you came into school to see her, then, Dad? Is that why you were mad with her? I bet it was her you took into that cafe and all.
I found Terry's letters weeks ago.
I thought they were love letters.
I thought you were having a thing, so, erm I started seeing her.
You knew they were from Terry as soon as you read them.
No, but I didn't read them, not properly, not at first because I just read little bits of them.
This is pathetic.
No, it's not.
It's pathetic! I promise you, it's the truth.
Where are you going? I'm going to stay at Maggie's.
You can't leave! Lise Mum? Oh, come here.
I haven't finished! I couldn't read those letters because I can hardly read anything.
Or at least I thought I couldn't.
And I couldn't show them to Anthony cos I thought they were from him.
And I couldn't show them to Abbie because Abbie's Abbie.
So, erm I asked Fiona Taylor to tell me what they said.
But she wouldn't.
So she was helping me to read them myself.
Something nearly happened, but it never, right? It never, I promise you, it never.
You can go if you want to go, but But will you just listen to this first, hey? Please, just listen to this first.
Ferry me across the water Do, boatman, do If you've a penny in your purse I'll ferry you.
I have a penny In my purse And my eyes are blue And for that penny In your purse I'll ferry you.
'This is the first letter I have ever written 'and I thought I would write it about love.
'And the reason I'm writing is because you said once 'that you weren't sure you'd made a jot of difference 'but this letter should tell you, you have.
'Yours sincerely, 'John Joseph Rosco.
'I know there won't be no marching band or fireworks or balloons.
'But there'll be a lad choosing to spend the day with my family 'when he could be someplace else and a woman sitting by her brother 'when she could have thrown his letters in the bin 'and a man holding his wife's hand 'knowing she hears him when he says,' "Ferry me across the water "Do, boatman, do.
"You ferry me "And I'll "I'll ferry you".